private high school application parent essay examples

Add Project Key Words

Parent Statements For Private High School Admissions

Christopher Coleman

December 2, 2020

When writing Parent Statements for private high school admissions, you must remember : you’re not writing your child’s resumé. For the purposes of this article, pretend that you are no longer a parent of a boarding school applicant. Instead, you are a boarding school admissions officer. Your job is to review applications and identify the applicants that are the best fit for your school from a large applicant pool. As a boarding school admission officer, you will read each page of every single admission application, which is standard operating procedure. 

In reviewing admission applications, you will read Parent Statements for private high school admissions . They will, hopefully, provide you with further information about the applicant. See, teacher recommendations primarily describe an applicant from an academic perspective. Transcripts will paint the picture of how much care the applicant puts into his or her studies. An activity list will explain how the applicant spends time outside of the classroom. What completes the applicant’s profile is information about them from the parents’ perspective, a unique vantage point that can provide very important information…or not.

As an admissions officer, Parent Statements can influence you in one of three ways: excite you, frustrate or bore you, or make little impression on you at all. 

What Should Entail Parent Statements for Private High School Admissions?

For whatever it’s worth, I am the parent of a child who is both a boarding school graduate and a college graduate. I have experienced both sides of the admission process, so I know the position in which you are in currently. 

Now, you might be thinking, “How can Parent Statements be anything but helpful and wonderful as they are written by kind, caring, and loving parents who only seek to support their children’s candidacies, Christopher?” In composing Parent Statements for private high school admissions , the writers  are only being, well, parents. More often than not, though, a parent’s point of view might come off as too promotional or lacking in objective insights. Translation: parents embody the statement made famous by Malcom X in that they wish to help their children gain admission to a school “by any means necessary,” touting their child as the second coming of Marie Curie, Serena Williams, or Stephen King. In reality, even though they are written with good intentions, these types of Parent Statements hurt their child’s application the most.

Let’s be honest. Parent Statements rarely make or break the success or failure of an admission application. Only in very rare cases has an applicant been accepted or denied admission solely based on the weight of a Parent Statement. So, it is best for parents to provide honest and objective information that will determine what kind of impact your child could make if he or she were to join that school’s community. 

Examples of Parent Statements

With that said, we’ll use the prompt and Parent Statement copied below as a sample for what ingredients should go into successful Parent Statements for private high school admissions .

Prompt: Please share with us the values you've instilled in your child and how our community might benefit from those values/lessons.

Response: We’ve taught our son Jimmy the value of volunteering and that not only does it benefit others, but that volunteering can also be a benefit to himself. Following our suggestion, Jimmy chose to volunteer on Saturdays at our neighborhood’s community center. He tutors younger kids in math and science. While the community center director has explained to my husband and me that Jimmy seems to be in a “happy place” whenever he tutors. The director also pointed out that Jimmy has a lot of fun interacting with the other children. My husband and I also noticed an increase in Jimmy’s grades since he started volunteering. You know what they say, the best way to learn is to teach.

Even more, Jimmy has also found that helping others is a practical way to further his own interests. During summer break, Jimmy loves to go fishing, but knows that he cannot go to the lake behind our house without being accompanied by an adult. My husband and I work during the day Monday through Friday and have lots of chores and errands on the weekends. So in previous summers, we have not had much time to take Jimmy fishing. To solve this issue, Jimmy taught his grandmother how to fish and goes fishing with her almost every day!

Experiencing firsthand the benefits of helping out others has made a positive impact on Jimmy’s life. My husband and I believe that as a student at your school, Jimmy would be likely to join or supervise a community service project or choose to become a peer tutor.  

Assessing the Example

Using the above example, here is how you, as an admission officer, should assess it:

• Clean writing. There are no spelling or grammar errors and the sentences should flow together. You should expect to compose several drafts for each of your Parent Statements. Take the time in between each draft so that you read each draft with a fresh perspective. 
• Answer the prompt. In directly answering the prompt, the Parent Statement provided a load of information about Jimmy. It pays for parents to brainstorm their child’s positive personality traits prior to responding to each prompt. These descriptors can act as a guide and give direction to the answer.
• No GPAs or academic accolades were found in this response.   I understand being proud of a child’s academic performance as a parent. However, the admissions officer will gain an understanding of that through academic transcripts and recommendations. Your job is to give further perspective on your child. Jimmy’s grades improved as a result of his behavior, but the grades themselves were not included.
• Tell a story…but not a novel. First and foremost, everyone likes a good story. Why do you think we watch movies and read books? The above example provides insight into Jimmy’s personality and his character. His academics have improved since becoming a tutor. He derives joy from helping and interacting with other children. He likes to fish. His family has set rules that Jimmy follows. One also learns that Jimmy is a problem-solver and has a positive relationship with family members from older generations. Lastly, by teaching his grandmother to fish, he now can participate in an activity he enjoys. The implication in all of this is that, if accepted, these are the qualities that Jimmy has to offer any school.
• Parent Statements do not have to be as dry as legal documents or tax forms or be as tedious to read as assembly directions for an Ikea dresser. Adding interesting details or humor to a Parent Statement will benefit its readability.
• Imagine a stack of Parent Statements stretching from your living room’s floor to its ceiling. As you are still reading this article, you are still an admissions officer. If your school requires each applicant’s parents to write five Parent Statements and during the course of an admission cycle you need to read 853 or more admission applications, you might just end up reading thousands of Parent Statements. From that perspective, you become quite eager to read Parent Statements that neither bore you, are majorly hyperbolic nor leave you with little to no insights into the applicant.

I hope that this blog has provided you with the basics towards building great Parents Statements for private high school admissions . When writing them, remember to think like an admission officer and not as a parent. If you were reviewing an admission application, what kind of Parent Statements would you find enjoyable to read and most insightful into an applicant’s personality? Did the Parent Statement you wrote meet those two criteria?

My best advice to you: Parent Statements are only meant to tell the parents’ side of a child’s story, not all of it. Put the care and attention into telling your side of your child’s story and do it well, leaving a positive impression.

Tags : how to write parent essays , Parent Statements for private high school admissions , boarding school admissions , private high school admissions , parent essays

Schedule a free consultation

to find out how we can help you get accepted.

Parent Statements

Best parent statement tips for private school admissions.

CONTACT US TODAY

Most private schools require parents to answer prompts or fill in a questionnaire about their child. The parent statement is an introduction to your child taken from your perspective as a parent. The main idea is to provide a written statement about your child’s personality, interests, and strengths. 

With two decades of experience in private school admissions , our educational consultants have deep knowledge of how to write parent statements for private schools that would differentiate your child. This guide outlines a list of tips that will prevent you from making common mistakes in the Parent Statement section of school applications. 

• Begin the writing process well in advance. Many families underestimate the time and thought it takes to complete parent statements and puts it off until the last minute. We recommend writing several drafts until you feel confident that you’ve provided all the necessary information.
• Research the school extensively. Admissions officers are looking for students who will be a good fit, so make sure to research and learn about the differentiating values of each school. Explain clearly how your child will be a good fit and an asset to the school.
• Be specific. Answer the questions clearly and be honest with your statements. Although you might want to impress the admissions officers by putting in a lot of information, they are only interested in things that matter.
• Be objective and honest. The purpose of the parent statement is for admissions officers to gain insight into your child from your perspective. Don’t be afraid to mention your child’s weaknesses.  

As experts in private school admissions, we know what you should and should not include in your parent statements. Parents who come to us for help are surprised that writing parent statements is not as easy as it seems. They recognize the importance of seeking professional help when they learn that their statements can ruin their child’s chances of admission.

Why are parent statements important?

Parent statements are important because admissions officers need to know about your child’s personality and determine if they are a good fit for the school. They would also want to know about the dynamics of your family. How supportive are you as parents in helping your child become successful? What are your goals as a family? Do your values align with those of the school? 

How long are parent statements?

Each school will have its own requirements but typically, parent statements are 500 – 1500 characters long. It is important to keep to the maximum requirement because admissions officers will not be interested to read very long paragraphs especially if the first sentences are not interesting enough.

How do I make my parent statement interesting?

A well-written parent statement is one that not only showcases your child’s positive attributes but is also compelling enough for admissions officers to read from start to finish. Write anecdotes instead of just plain narratives that describe your child because everybody loves reading stories. Read different parent statement examples to get ideas on how to write parent statements that are interesting. 

Do I need help in writing my parent statement?

Yes, especially if you are not a strong writer. You may know your child well but if you cannot write about their strengths, weaknesses, and goals, you might lose your chances of admission. Contact us to learn more about our writing program. 

What grade level is your child in? Elementary School Level Middle School Level High School Level

What services are you looking for? Private School Admissions College Admissions Standardized Test Prep Subject Tutoring

How did you hear about us? A Referral Google Search

Please leave this field empty.

Tel: (888) 521-5243

Email: [email protected]

• Our Mission
• College Admissions
• Private School Admissions
• Private School Test Prep
• College Test Prep
• Online Tutoring
• History Tutoring
• Science Tutoring
• Math Tutoring
• Language Tutoring
• Competition Math
• Program in Writing and Reading (PWR)
• Academic Coaching
• Executive Function
• Learning Differences
• Acceptances
• Testimonials
• Case Studies
• Useful Links
• Recommended Reading
• Partner with CE
• What makes us special?
• Our History
• Open Positions
• Accommodations Information
• Admissions Process
• Test Logistics

OUR OFFICES

Burlingame office.

100 El Camino Real, Suite 101 Burlingame, CA 94010 (888) 521-5243 [email protected]

Woodside Office

2920 Woodside Rd, Suite D Woodside, CA 94062 (888) 521-5243 [email protected]

Beverly Hills, LA Office

9350 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 203 Beverly Hills, CA 90212 (310) 904-6055 [email protected]

Bellevue, WA Office

1239 120th Ave NE, Suite A Bellevue, WA 98005 (425) 785-7688 [email protected]

Parent Essays for Private Schools

Posted on: December 2, 2021

Sometimes they look a little sheepish when they ask.

“Katy, do you have any advice for us about the parent questions?”

The private school admissions process is often one that seems to throw unexpected curveballs every step along the way. And right when it feels like you are rounding third base, you notice that the application asks not only for your student to write an essay (or four…) but also for you to do the same. The request seems at once totally reasonable. It makes sense for a school to want an adult perspective on a young applicant. And yet it also seems out of the blue — after all, the parent isn’t the one applying to school!

The struggle with these questions tends to fall in to two camps:

“What are they looking for? Am I being evaluated?”

“I think my child is amazing, but I don’t want to brag.”

What are they looking for?

As with every time an admissions officer at any level of education is asked this question, they would say that the answer is authenticity . In this case, they’re usually looking for two things. First, how will your family connect with their community? Are they likely to see you at the sidelines of every field hockey game or front and center at the Annual Gala? Or both? They do not necessarily bring an agenda to reading these essays — every school needs both sideline spirit and Gala guests. But they are trying to envision the class community they are building as they look at all of the applications.

The second thing they’re looking for is your insight on your child. Even the most delightful and reflective 13-year-old is still a 13-year-old. Middle school students are just starting to develop the parts of their brain that allows them to understand some of their gifts and challenges. But the parents who love them probably have a good idea. So they are asking you to introduce yourself and your student to the admissions team.

Which brings us to the second anxiety: how much to say and how to say it.

What should you say?

I see parents falling into three traps with this issue: brevity, oversharing, and listing. While you always want to respect suggested word limits, I’d encourage you not to err too much on the side of brevity. When I was reading applications for private schools, I’d often read ten or fifteen applications at a time (hopefully in a quiet coffee shop, preferably with a fire, on a Saturday in January). If one of those applications has just a sentence or two and several others offer two or three paragraphs of insight on what this particular student may have to share, I felt a bit disappointed in the quick answer. It just did not give me much to go on.

But of course, be careful! The opposite can also happen. Several years ago, I read a response by a lovely parent of a lovely 8th grader. The question asked, “How does your child handle personal responsibility?” Much of the answer was a reflection on the parent’s part, that her daughter had not really ever been given responsibility. The answer detailed the parent’s guilt over this fact and dwelled more closely on the parent’s sense of having failed the child than on the answer to the question. It felt deeply personal and authentic, but it still missed the mark.

What should you NOT do?

Listing is perhaps the biggest pitfall I see. We are, naturally, quite proud of our child’s accomplishments. As good and supportive parents, we want to place our child squarely in the limelight, to let their experiences and triumphs speak for themselves. I often see parents use this space as a chance to list the things they are proud of: Her 3rd grade spelling bee ribbon; his 5th grade sportsmanship award. The problem with listing accomplishments is that probably these things are listed elsewhere in the application, under awards or extracurricular activities. So, you are essentially ceding your chance to show the great parts of who your student is as a person … but it’s the person that the admissions team is looking for.

The Takeaway: Parent Essay Advise

My advice to every parent is that you take this opportunity as a chance to thoughtfully consider both who your child is and what you want from the next school community you choose. Those answers are always a home run.

Help your child reach their full potential with individualized one on one test preparation.

A Roadmap for High School Students & Parents

Search our Blog

Search for:

Popular Posts

Some students struggle with one test yet excel at another, so finding the right fit is crucial.

How to Write a Successful Parent Statement for Your Child’s Private School Application

The parent statement is an opportunity for you to introduce your child to admissions; to give them a glimpse of who your child is and why they would be a great fit for the institution in question. By the time the admissions committee finishes reading your parent statement, you want them to be clamoring for what your son or daughter can contribute to their community. But how exactly do you do that?

Your top 3 goals when writing a parent statement are to:

1. offer insight into who your child is, what makes them tick, and how they interact with the world around them..

We recommend starting with some freewriting : Sit in front of an open notebook or blank Google Doc and start writing down your first thoughts. Ask yourself: What special qualities does my child have? When have I felt particularly proud of them? How do they approach learning? How do they engage with their peers? Remember, school is as much about soft skills, like conflict resolution and active listening, as it is about mastering the times tables.

2. Provide context regarding your approach to parenting and education.

The admissions committee isn’t just accepting your child, they are accepting you, too, along with any other children you might want to enroll in the future (though this is not a guarantee). Many private schools want to know about parenting styles and academic goals to ensure you will also be a good fit for their community.

3. Be honest and concise in regards to your child’s areas for improvement, as well as their academic goals.

You will not be doing yourself (or your child!) any favors if you dust any major concerns or challenges under the rug. Be upfront. Albert Einstein was a prodigal genius, but he struggled with discipline and authority as a student. Before Robert Frost was a celebrated poet and four-time Pulitzer Prize winner, he was expelled from school for constant daydreaming. Bringing admissions into the fold will set your child up for success. And, besides, if the institution isn’t prepared to support and inspire your child, is that really where you want them to spend their formative years?

To really set your parent statement apart from the rest, explore the school’s website and see if you can find their mission statement. Pepper in some of the school’s values (and how they overlap with your own) to demonstrate your interest and fit. 

Finally, we’re always here if you’d like a second opinion from seasoned experts who know the admissions process inside and out. Good luck!

About CEA HQ

View all posts by CEA HQ »

Written by CEA HQ

Category: Admissions , advice , Private School

Tags: aea , parent statement , preschool , preschool admissions , preschool applications , private school , private school admissions , private school applications , the parent statement

Want free stuff?

We thought so. Sign up for free instructional videos, guides, worksheets and more!

One-On-One Advising

YouTube Tutorials

• Our Approach & Team
• Testimonials
• Where Our Students Get In
• College Essay Advisors
• K – 12
• Private School Application Guides
• Get Started

How to Write an Awesome Private School Admission Essay

Sitting down to write the all-important private school admission essay — is there anything more stress-inducing than a blank document and a blinking cursor? 

Writing anything from scratch requires intensive energy, focus, and inspiration — and that pressure is heightened when the writing topic is turned inward. No wonder students (and parents) get overwhelmed when it’s time to complete the essay portion of a private school application!

Helping your child write their private school admission essay can be pretty nerve-wracking. However, it doesn’t have to be. 

The short essay questions included as part of most private school applications are meant to provide admissions professionals with a well-rounded picture of your child as a person and as a student. If written thoughtfully, this component of your child’s application can make them truly stand out. 

Below are our top tips for beating back writer’s block and crafting a private school admission essay that gets noticed. 

{{step1="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Remember the essay audience.</span>

Although the essay is about your student, it’s FOR the private school admissions team. What will stand out to them? What will interest them? What will help them best understand your child and how they learn? Help your child craft an essay with these professionals in mind.

{{step2="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Answer the essay question asked.</span>

This may seem obvious; however, it’s very easy to steer off course when you get into a writing groove. Help your child refer back to the question and any associated instructions while they write. Remind them to try to stick to the word count, and make sure to answer all parts of the question. 

{{step3="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Portray personality.</span>

Private schools are admitting people, not numbers. Their goal is to create a diverse, copasetic community in which students grow and are challenged. Your child’s answers shouldn’t be cookie-cutter. The best essay question answers will showcase a student’s personality, quirks and all. 

{{step4="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Demonstrate passions. </span>  

Private schools are seeking students with different interests and passions. If your child has a unique interest or personal pursuit, the essay can be a great place to explain what it means to them and why it drives their creativity. 

{{step5="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Provide a unique perspective. </span>  

Opinions are important. If your child believes in a cause or has a strong point-of-view on a topic, talk about why. By standing behind their convictions, your child will demonstrate their critical thinking and leadership capabilities. 

{{step6="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Paint a complete portrait. </span>   

Regardless of the essay question, you want your child’s essay to work seamlessly with the rest of their application and showcase them as a full, well-rounded student. If the application itself doesn’t allow you to bring your student’s true self to life, take that opportunity in the essay component.  

{{step7="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Maintain proper essay structure. </span>  

Remember, the essay isn't solely an exercise to get to know your child; it's also an evaluation of their writing ability. Maintaining the proper essay structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion is essential.

Admission officers read a LOT of essays, so really work on hooking them with the intro. Have your child read feature magazine and news articles, as well as the opening paragraphs of books to see how professional authors engage their readers.

{{step8="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Cut the clutter. </span>  

After your child writes their essay's first draft, make sure they spend time editing their ideas into a clear, concise answer. Help them proofread, check their grammar, and cut out any extra words or phrases that don’t support their answers. 

{{step9="/fs-components"}}

<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Get/offer feedback. </span>  

Once your child’s essay is complete, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to ask someone else to read it. As a parent, point out areas where they have opportunities to strengthen an idea or fix a mistake. However, resist the urge to rewrite the essay in your own words. Again, your child’s own perspective is what matters! 

While the questions asked on private school applications may change, these essay-writing tips will help ensure that whatever story your child tells resonates with your dream school’s admissions team. For more essay tips, read Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay .

Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay

How to make a great impression in private school interviews, recommendation letters: who should you ask — and how, first-choice letters: do they help or hurt admission, the final countdown to application deadlines, 11 parent statement tips for private school applications.

Let’s get going!

Save time applying to private schools with the Standard Application Online. Apply to any of over 400 participating schools with one set of documentation and a single student essay.

The Official SSAT Practice

The path to bright SSAT results starts with studying. Only EMA's official  Online Practice  and  Guide Books  feature  four full-length tests with 600 questions  created by the same people who develop the SSAT. Compared to the competition, it's no competition—you get more and pay less with our official study guides! Get started today with the  free online Mini-Practice Test  to identify focus areas.

Find a school that’s unbe-leaf-able!

Whatever type of private school you're looking for, we've got it. Day schools. Boarding schools. Schools that dance. Schools that play. Schools that pray. Use our Private School Search to discover the schools that will help your child hone their strengths and discover hidden talents. Where will they blossom?

Admission Concierge at Your Service

Grow your understanding of the private school application process with Admission Concierge, a free newsletter delivering timely reminders and advice throughout the application process. It's everything you need to know—precisely when you need to know it.

Stand Out With the Snapshot

The Character Skills Snapshot is an innovative measure of student preferences, attitudes, and beliefs, helping schools get to know who an applicant is rather than just what they know from grades and standardized tests—letting their uniqueness shine. Add the Snapshot to your student's application today to help them stand out.

3 Tips for Writing Your Child's Private School Application Essay

How to harness the power of storytelling.

By Soojung Smith

Published on: october 30, 2017.

It’s that time of year again: the busy admissions season for private and independent K–12 schools. Keeping track of each school's open houses, campus tours, parent and student interview dates and test requirements can feel like a full-time job. 

Each year, more families are considering private schools for their children and competition for top private schools in the greater Seattle area has become increasingly fierce. Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants from a highly qualified candidate pool. High standardized test (SSAT and ISEE) scores and GPAs alone, unfortunately, don’t guarantee a spot at these coveted schools. They're interested in forming a diverse and well-rounded student body that delves beyond students’ test scores and grades.

Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants.

One of the biggest mistakes I've seen families make in preparing their child’s applications for admission is to treat the information they submit as separate data points. Rather than painting a complete picture of their student, parent and student essays often read like a student activity form.

To give your child the best chance of success, it's important to be intentional and thoughtful about your child’s application. Remember that admission committees are interested in learning about your child and what your family can offer, and how you will contribute to their schools and school communities.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your child's private school application.

Know what it is you want to say about your child and your family: What are the key messages you want to convey?  

• Think about how you and others see your child. You as parents? Grandparents? Their siblings? How would their friends describe them? Teachers? Neighbors?
• What keywords begin to emerge? Kind? Mature? Creative? Curious? Inventive? A maker? A leader?
• Choose three to five themes that best capture core identities of your child.
• Use your child’s essential qualities, be it their achievements, unique experiences, activities or interests to make the connection to these themes.
• Once themes emerge, look broadly and creatively at parent and student essays, activity profile, teacher recommendations, and other application elements for opportunities to weave these ideas together for differentiation.

Start working on essays and other application elements

• Typically, families apply for three to five schools and, depending upon schools under consideration, you may end up with writing not only a common set of essays but also other unique ones they require from applicants and their families.
• These requirements all add up, expecting a significant amount of time and efforts on your and your child’s end. Good writing is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Be prepared to go through three rounds of drafts of parent and student essays to get to final “quality” ones you and your student feel proud of. Try to have solid first drafts by the end of October, the second one by the end of November and the final draft by the end of December.   
• Make sure you write parent essays while your child writes their student essays. You can lend help to your child, but they need to provide original and thoughtful answers in their portion of the applications as well as during interviews. Schools can tell if a parent writes student essays and even go so far as to collect writing samples.

Use essays and other application elements for effective storytelling

• Use a parent statement, student essays and an extracurricular activity profile to let the reader in: Who is your child? What do they care most? Who is their hero? Why? How do these insights connect with other information you are submitting about your child and your family? Is there a particular story(ies) that helps to describe your child and your family best?
• Distill the story that defines your child and your family in the space provided in online applications before the deadline for completed applications. Each essay question has a specific word count you can’t exceed, so be mindful of how you will use precious real estate to convey main messages for differentiation.

Effective storytelling alone won’t necessarily put your child over the top if they aren't already a competitive candidate. But it goes hand-in-hand with solid standardized test scores and GPAs for robust applications. Let schools know how unique your child and your family are. Let them know how your child and family will contribute to a diverse student body. Good luck!

JOIN THE PARENTMAP COMMUNITY Get our weekly roundup of Seattle-area outings and parenting tips straight to your inbox.

Related Topics

• Private School

Share this resource with your friends!

About the author.

Soojung Smith is a family education coach, author, CEO and board advisor, and former Microsoft marketing executive. Her children attend two private schools on the Eastside. Soojung supports parents with challenging issues such as private school vs. public school, private school admissions, and students’ executive functioning skills and their public speaking competencies. Email Soojung at  [email protected] .

Your Child’s First Job Might Not Exist Yet

In a STEM Obsessed World, I'm Proud of My Arts Major

Climate Play Helps Parents Bridge a Difficult Topic

You might also like.

Camps + Classes

No summer camp these activities keep kids busy.

Clash Over Curriculum Control

Play Ideas That Get Kids Interested in Science

How to Write a Private High School Application Essay Worth Reading

Forget everything you’ve ever learned about writing an essay.

Okay, I may be being a bit melodramatic. You still need appropriate grammar, syntax, spelling, and formatting.

But as for the generic boring cluster that begins with “In this essay I am going to be discussing ___ by looking at x,y, and z,” throw that out the window because it’s nothing but a one way ticket to Snoozeville not only for you but for anyone tasked with reading it.

Remember Your Private High School Application Essay Audience

The biggest mistake students make when writing an essay is that they forget who their audience is . Your audience, be it a teacher, an administrator, or an admissions committee, has likely read hundreds if not thousands of student’s admissions essays.

This means that you are going to have to do more than throw in a few SAT words to impress them. The key to writing an essay worth reading is writing an essay that has not been written before by any other essay writer . It needs to be your own story, not the story you think they want to hear.

One of my favorite things about writing is that there is no right or wrong answer. An essay isn’t a scantron that you have to correctly bubble in or risk some computer incorrectly grading you.  You can’t just play eenie miney moe and hope for the best. Writing is personal. It’s written by one individual and read by another.

But all too often students, especially in the application process , forget this. They write the essay they think that the admission committee wants to read when in reality it’s an essay that the committee has probably already read a million times.

The Importance of the Essay Topic

What is the root of this cause? The topic.

If your topic is flawed, cliché, generic, or boring, it doesn’t matter how well crafted your essay is it will be forgotten. When approaching your admission essay, think of it this way: when the admission committee begins reading your essay they’ll view you as just a number, but when they finish it you want them to view you as an individual student.

So, how do we accomplish this?

It’s simple: don’t write the essay you think an admissions committee wants to read, write one that YOU would want to read . If your own essay bores you, it’s highly likely that it will bore everyone else.

Let’s say that your topic is to discuss an extracurricular activity that has played a large impact on your life. A lot of times students are tempted to write what they think the admission committee want to hear.

“I love to volunteer because it has taught me to be appreciative of what I have,”

Or “I love National Honors Society because it allows me to combine my love of academics with my love of service.”

While both of these are wonderful extracurricular activities, unless you are truly passionate about either and have specific details to intertwine into your narrative, it’s going to come off dry and predictable.

What Your Topic Should Be Instead

When describing their ideal student, one of the top words used by the Director of Admissions at some of DC’s top private schools is “passionate.”

Admissions Committees are not looking for a cookie-cutter student; rather they are looking for a student who genuinely loves something and will share that love with other students .

So if you love to spend your weekends driving four-wheelers or riding horses or making short films on iMovie, write about that because I can assure you that your natural enthusiasm will read a whole lot better than the stale and generic “I love to volunteer” response – unless that is actually what you spend your weekends doing.

The Essay’s Opening Paragraph

Don’t believe me?

Consider these two opening paragraphs. You tell me which one you want to keep reading?

1. “’Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.’ These famous words were spoken by John F. Kennedy, one of the best politicians of all life. John F. Kennedy led America and has become my role model. He encouraged me to get into politics which is why I joined student government. When asked what extracurricular activity has had the largest impact on me as a person, I immediately thought of student government. In this essay I will discuss how student government has impacted me as a person by growing my leadership skills, developing my social connections, and making me take academics more seriously.”

2. “I don’t ride for blue ribbons or Olympic gold, although I respect and admire those chosen few who do. I don’t ride for the workout, although my trembling muscles at the end of a good lesson indicate otherwise. I don’t ride because I have anything to prove, although I’ve proven a lot to myself along the way. I ride for the feeling of two individual beings becoming one, so perfectly matched that it’s impossible to tell where rider ends and horse begins. I ride to feel the staccato beat of hooves against dirt echoed in the rhythm of my own heart. I ride because it isn’t easy to navigate a creature with a mind of its own around a course of solid obstacles, but in that perfect moment when horse and rider work as one, it can be the easiest thing in the world. I ride for an affectionate nose nudging my shoulder as I turn to leave, searching for a treat or a pat or murmured words of praise. I ride for myself, but for my horse as well, my partner and my equal.”

Next Steps: Your Perfect Admissions Essay

Okay now you have the framework.

First, remember that you’re writing to a private school admissions audience that has probably seen every high school application essay in the book. So don’t write the one you think they want to read… write the one that you care most about.

Then, choose the essay topic that resonates most with you as a student. That enthusiasm will shine through in your writing, and hopefully “wow” the reader enough to convince them they have to have you at their school.

Example Parent Statement for School Admissions

Writing the parent statement for private school admissions comes with many steps. Many parents we’ve worked with assumed that the parent statement doesn’t require much work because the application is solely for their child, not them. However, the parent statement is still crucial to the application process, and therefore your child’s admission chances.

So, it can’t be that hard. Right?

Well, writing the parent statement is harder than you may think.

More often than not, parents are busier than their children because they have both work and familial obligations to busy themselves with. In addition, private school admissions officers will be reading parent statements with the expectation of grown-up-level writing and articulation. So, you’ll be competing against other fellow parents too.

If you’re writing a parent statement to get your child accepted into a highly competitive private school where the average applicant lives in an upper-middle-class community, expect to be paired with other articulate families with strong editing in the admissions pool. To prepare yourself, consider checking out our sister article on how to write the parent statement for private school admissions.

However, it can be quite useful to look at example parent statements. This example will cover an example parent statement that you may use as inspiration. Of course, everyone’s statement may come out differently. But, you may use this as an example of what would help you write the parent statement that helps your child get accepted.

Professional College Application Help.

Contact us. we'll get to you within 24 hours. , example parent statement for private school admissions.

Prompt: Tell us more about your child and why they are a good fit for (private school).

“Ever since we could remember, Jenni was always a natural-born leader. She had the aptitude and conscientiousness it took to help lead in team efforts. Whether it involved collaborative school projects or personal projects such as YouTube videos, the work she tackled demonstrated her management skills. This, we belive, is thanks to her personable and positive attitude. Jenni has a talent for brightening up a room in a manner, such that, despite circumstances, eases tension and alleviates conflict. Both inside and outside the classroom, Jenni’s natural social-butterfly element manifests to make all social interactions positive, lighthearted, and temperamentally agreeable. One of the things that impresses us about our daughter is just how well she can handle conflict. As a leader, there is bound to be disagreements and contentions brewing during projects or collective efforts. This is an inevitable conclusion for all leaders; however, Jenni never fails to impress us with just how well she can diffuse situations without causing anymore unecesssary social damage. As a leader, she is kind and gentle. Yet, she appears emotionally intelligent enough to navigate her leadership positions with honest maturity and gentle firmness. It’s something we were quite suprised with, as she seemed to pick up this skill in social aptitude and leadership very early. Perhaps what was most impressive was her revivifying the social scene in her small school. During the pandemic, COVID-19 forced many students to retreat into the confines of their home. This had, for obvious reasons, strained many social circles and strained the mental health of many students. Jenni impressed us with just how easily she could make a group chat and later collective online server for all her friends and distant acquaintences. It was strange to see her create a Discord server gathering seemingly socially different students in the same online room. She was part of a social and extroverted circle of fellow girl friends; but, she managed to integrate acquaintences who were friends of friends. These were boys who had a passion for video games; in addition, they were quite unlike Jenni and her friends. On the surface, I thought the plan would be quite awkward and unusual, especially considering how much the pandemic has isolated people. However, Jenni’s natural charisma and sociability appeared to attract everyone to the server. It only took a few days for us to see Jenni making inside jokes with this completely new social circle. There were customized emojis, stickers, and memes they’ve created in such a short amount of time. That our daughter managed to create such an inclusive and active community with people so diverse in personality and background during the pandemic shows us just how well she can integrate into any environment. In addition, Jenni is an individual of focus and discipline. For someone of her age, we are very impressed with just how orderly she schedules her time. She sets specific times for completing her assignents, time for studying and reviewing individual subjects, and time for her breaks —we didn’t even know people did that; but, works for her! With both personal pet projects and academics to work on, she is no stranger to crunching in labour in a short amount of time. However, her control of time and temperamental orderliness makes it easy for her to juggle large amounts of work. In particular, she seems to have a strong passion for STEM and the hard sciences. She also excels in the written word and articulating ideas through essays. Jenni would collaborate with some of her friends over call on the romance stories she writes and publishes online. Interestingly, her sociable attitude brings in multiple perspectives and makes for interesting storytelling for her stories. It is becoming increasingly clear that her multiple interests may pull her in multiple directions, and she’ll at some point need to choose. Thus, her academic interests are still in flux. It is her hope that she may find a clearer path to what she wants to pursue in the future through her education at (private school). As her parents, we’ve done everything we could to provide Jenni with the best environment growing up. Both my husband and I are rather meticulous and orderly people, which may be where our daughter inherited the orderly gene! We are careful with the kinds of foods we make for her as well as the kinds of entertainment she is exposed to. However, we both are very much aware of the dangers that come from sheltering and becoming overbearing. My husband and I agree that an encouraging upbringing that challenges Jenni to pursue the unknown and discover is crucial. So, that means fresh spring vegetables with seared chicken breast can sometimes be replaced with a cheeseburger with extra bacon and loaded fries. In short, we love to strive for perfection; but, we don’t let perfection devour us. This isn’t limited to food, too. We also ensure Jenni has a healthy mindset and philosophy on life. It doesn’t mean we suppress her from reading certain books or learning about contentious topics. Instead, we challenge her to think about difficult questions and come to her own conclusions. “Why do you think that?” and “What do you personally feel about that?” all help us promote critical thought instead of forcing our daughter to conform; it keeps her a free thinker and hopefully a great student! Applying for the right high school is a greater challenge than we thought for Jenni, as we all would like the one that fits her talents the most. We also want a school where her temperament can do the most positive good for her fellow peers and students in her class. Jenni hopes to join a community equally conscientious, sociable, passionate, and curious. Her collaborative nature and strong communication make her a student who would most thrive in a tight-knit school with great teachers who can build meaningful relationships with her. It is for those reasons that we believe Jenni is most fitting for (private school). Its (school description and attributes) make it a fantastic environment for Jenni to thrive best and actualize her full potential. We know that she will make great connections with her future peers and contribute to the already stunning community at (private school). Her collaborative nature, agreeable temperament, and sociability will make her a fantastic leader in conducting new projects with other (private school) students, and thus bring others alongside her on the journey to excellence.” Example Parent Statement for Private School Admissions

If you have any other questions about our example parent statement for private school admissions feel free to ask us for help! Or, if you are struggling to write the parent statement yourself, we would highly recommend speaking with us for a free phone consultation. We can help you write the parent statement to help your child maximize their chances of getting accepted into the private school of their choice.

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Get your kids accepted, sign up for a free 30-minute phone consultation., our professional admissions experts will help you write and edit your parent statement .

High School Application Essay

High school application essay generator.

Embarking on the high school application process can be daunting, but mastering the art of the application essay can set you apart. This comprehensive guide, enriched with essay examples , will navigate you through crafting an impactful and memorable high school application essay. From understanding the prompt to showcasing your unique story, we’ll provide practical tips and examples to enhance your writing skills, ensuring your essay stands out in the competitive world of high school admissions.

Download High School Application Essay Bundle

Essay writing as part of the application to enter the institution may sound kind of difficult. But it really wasn’t as the applicant was given a set of instructions on how to come up with what she or he had to write. They were given a topic to write and this was the test they had to take to see if they fit the qualifications to get admitted to the institution.  The most common topic to write in an essay was a career type. What you wanted to be when you grow up. It was a challenge but most of us have gone through that and could say, it was worth it.

3+ High School Application Essay Examples

1. high school application essay.

Free Download

2. Private High School Application Essay

3. 8th Grade High School Application Essay

How to Write a High School Admission Essay

Embarking on the journey of writing a high school admission essay can be a significant step in your educational path. This piece of writing, often referred to as a college essay or application essay, is more than just a formality. It’s a chance for you to showcase your personality and aspirations, making it crucial for not only high school applications but also for college and scholarship applications.

Understanding the Essay’s Purpose

At its core, the admission essay is your chance to provide a glimpse into who you are beyond your academic scores. It’s not just about showcasing your achievements; it’s about narrating your story and aspirations. This narrative is what the admission committee will use to distinguish you from other candidates, making it a key component of your middle school application essay or any other educational application process.

Choosing the Right Topic

Selecting an appropriate topic is essential. Your topic should reflect an aspect of your personality or an experience that has played a significant role in your personal development. Whether it’s a challenge you’ve overcome, a unique experience, or a personal achievement, it should give insight into your character and how it has shaped you. For a short essay for high school , choosing a concise yet impactful topic is vital.

Crafting Your Essay

Organizing your thoughts is the first step in the writing process. Draft an outline to structure your essay effectively. Begin with a captivating introduction, followed by a body that provides a deeper insight into your topic, and conclude with a summary that ties back to your main thesis, demonstrating why you are a great fit for the school.

Engaging Introduction

The introduction is crucial in grabbing the reader’s attention. Start with an engaging hook – it could be a compelling anecdote, a question, or a surprising fact. This initial engagement is particularly important in a short essay for high school, as you have limited space to make an impact.

Body of the Essay

In the body of your essay, provide detailed accounts of your experiences or reflections. Use vivid descriptions to bring your story to life. This part of the essay is where you can elaborate on your experiences, making it relevant in a scholarship essay or any admission essay.

Concluding Your Essay

Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression. It’s not just about ending your essay, but about tying your narrative back to the main goal – to showcase why you are a suitable candidate for the school. A strong conclusion is essential in any application essay , whether it’s for high school, college, or a scholarship.

Revising and Editing

Revision is key in the essay-writing process. Pay attention to clarity, detail, and the flow of your essay. Grammar and spelling are equally important. Consider getting feedback from others, as a fresh pair of eyes can often catch things you might have missed.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Stay true to yourself in your essay. Avoid embellishing your experiences or straying from the essay prompt. Keep your language clear and straightforward, avoiding clichés and overly complex phrases.

Final Touches

Remember, your high school admission essay is a reflection of your personality. Let your individuality shine through your words. With a well-thought-out narrative essay , your essay can become a compelling part of your application, whether it’s a college essay, a middle school application essay, or a scholarship essay. Be honest, authentic, and let your unique story guide your writing.

4. High School Application Essay Template

Size: 65 KB

5. High School Academy Application Essay

Size: 136 KB

6. Sample High School Application Essay

Size: 775 KB

7. High School Admission Application Essay

Size: 94 KB

Tips on Writing a Good High School Essay

To all students wishing to write a good high school essay to wow the right people. I have some tips for you to use. These tips of course vary with people but these are the common ways to writing a good high school essay to amaze the right people as well as to get you accepted to the institution of your choice.  So without further ado, let’s get right to it.

• Think: It may sound cliché, but the best thing to do before writing a good high school essay is to think. Think of what you are planning on writing. Think of the topic and the subtopics you want to add in your essay.  Ask yourself what you wish to talk about. Make some notes in a different paper as a guide.
• Planning : After thinking about what you wish to write, plan on it. This is often taken for granted. But when you get to plan on what you wish to write, everything goes smoothly. Just a reminder though, an essay does not have to be very long since that would be a different literary piece.
• Short and Concise : As stated above, an essay does not have to be very long. Essays usually have one to three paragraphs long. Beyond that is usually unheard of, so make it short and concise as possible.
• Make some notes:  A reminder when writing a good essay is to always make some notes. Make a draft if you wish. This helps with how you construct your sentences and construct what you wish to write about.
• Review: after you write your essay, review. Check the necessary things like spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just as long as it follows the strict grammar guidelines.

How many sentences do I need to write to let it be considered an essay?

One to three paragraphs, with 5 to 8 sentences can already be considered an essay. The one thing you need to know is when writing an essay, all you need is one topic, and you talk about it.

What are the usual topics to write for a high school essay application?

The most common topic they often ask students to write is about career goals.

Is there a limit to how many words needed to write?

This may depend on the directions in the paper, but for a high school essay application it would range between 300 words to 1000 words.

Do I need to reach the word count for it to be considered a good essay?

It is not the word count that matters but what you have written. This is what counts.

What other types of essays are there?

There are a lot of types but the most common are career essays , narrative essays and argumentative essays

Writing an essay can be tiresome or difficult if you have no idea what to do or what to write. But with some examples shown above and some tips on writing them, it would be easier. Remembering how to write an essay and how to construct the right words would make a whole lot of difference. A few things to consider when writing, be creative but concise the same time.

Choose a topic you want to talk about and go from there. Do not make it too lengthy that you lose sight of what you really wish to convey. Lastly, you don’t need to reach the 1000 word word count, as long as you reach the minimum word count. For a high school student, that would be around 300 words. Now that you have some ideas on what to write and how to do it, I hope your next essay would be something to be proud of.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Write a High School Application Essay on why you want to attend this high school

Discuss your academic and extracurricular achievements in a High School Application Essay

Dr. Paul Lowe – Admissions Expert

Private School, College, BS/MD Program, Graduate and Medical School – Admissions Advisor & Educational Consultant

6 Mistakes to Avoid on the Private School Parent Statement

Your child has great SSAT scores and excellent grades.  You have talked with teachers who will write stellar letters of recommendations.  You believe that you understand character assessments and assume your child has the right character attributes.  You are confident that your interview and your child’s interview went well.  You also assume that your “connections” will give your child that edge to be accepted to top private schools .

Admissions committees want to learn more about applicants through their parents’ eyes. The purpose of the parent’s statement is to add dimension to the candidate’s statement and to help the admissions committee better understand the applicant from the parent’s perspective.   The parent statement is one of the few steps in the admission process that parents control, but where I see parents make egregious mistakes. These are some of the more common mistakes:

• Assume your parent statement is unique. What parents often fail to realize is that admissions committees have seen thousands of applications and parent essays. They are looking for unique students who have a view or passion that sets them apart from the other hundreds of applicants who apply. When my team and I first review our client’s parent statement/essays, they sound like a typical statement.  Parents actually assume that the statements are unique but they are, in fact quite predictable and commonplace.
• Procrastinate.   Don’t wait until the last moment to draft your parent essay. Many parents, while getting everything else in order for the application, wait to start to write their parent statement essays.  They may write a draft or two have it reviewed by a friend and submit it.  We meet with our clients and brainstorm ideas that are appropriate for each essay early in the process.  Parents submit drafts and we revise as many as 10 drafts so that the essays are grammatically correct as well as have flow, rhythm and color.
• Attempts to impress.   Writing a parent statement that portrays your child as a leader and overemphasis childlike abilities will certainly cause rejections.  I often see adjectives like immensely caring, forward thinking, brilliant, philanthropic and sometimes statements such as “my son or daughter will improve your school”.  I often hear from admissions officers how parents in their attempt to impress schools often show condescension.
• Incompatible essays.  Many parents write essays that don’t match teacher’s recommendation or the characteristics of their child.  Admissions officers have different methods of truly discovering the real applicant.  The student essay, letters of recommendations and the student and parent interview should harmoniously and rhythmically match.  I often hear from admissions officers how the parent statement they read is not the same as the applicant presented and sounds out of step with the rest of the application.
• Using sample essays.   If you are using sample essays the probability is that many other parents are also doing the same.  This means that your essay will sound exactly the same as parents who are using sample essays. Plus, it’s not honest.  I have had parents ask me if I use sample essays or send me past clients essay responses.  We do not use sample essays, nor do we use past clients essays; I would advise all parents not to do this.
• Not hiring a professional private school admissions advisor.  Lots of parents use the “do it yourself route”, hire essay writers or inexperienced educational consultants. To really write a stunning, awesome and meaningful essay that will help your child stand out you need to hire an admissions advisor who understands the entire application process, the mission and admissions policies of each school, and how a well written and descriptive parent statement will fit in the applicant’s profile.  After all, the applicants profile is really a conversation amongst admissions committee members, one component out of sync will raise red flags that will cause rejection. The right advisor will work with you to discover  MISTAKES and omissions, as well as help you through the process in completing the task of applying to private schools. Consider a professional private school admissions advisor as a great investment in your child’s future.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Dr. Paul Reginald Lowe is the managing director and lead admissions expert at Pinnacle Educational Center Admissions Advisors Group’s Private School Admissions Advisors .   Dr. Lowe specializes in providing exclusive concierge-type admissions advisory services for U.S. and international families and students who are interested in applying to top U.S. boarding and day schools.  Dr. Lowe also helps U.S. and international students gain admissions into their top choice private schools after they have been wait-listed and rejected .

Share this:

Published by drpaulloweadmissionsexpert

Dr. Paul Reginald Lowe, Sr. is the co-founder and CEO of Pinnacle Educational Center; and is one of the world's leading independent educational consultants and expert admissions advisors. Pinnacle Educational Center which has expanded into a network of admissions advisory services: Pinnacle Educational Center Admissions Advisors Group. As a global admissions expert, Dr. Lowe and his team help students gain admissions to top private schools, Ivy league and highly selective colleges, medical schools and BS/MD programs. Dr. Lowe also specializes in helping students get into their top choice private school and colleges after they have been waitlisted, deferred or rejected. View all posts by drpaulloweadmissionsexpert

• Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
• Subscribe Subscribed
• Copy shortlink
• Report this content
• View post in Reader
• Manage subscriptions
• Collapse this bar

The Parent Statement: What Not To Say

Much has been written about how to write a parent statement or essay for your child’s applications to private preschool or continuing K–12 schools, but little has been written on what not to write.

For parents of preschoolers to students at older points of entry (and all the years in between), the finest example of admissions/application essay instructions can be found in the Common Application to U.S. colleges and universities.

The Common App asks applicants to write a statement of 650 words about anything — anything at all — so long as the statement is about them . You may think that sounds easy, but it’s not. For example, the finest Common App essay I have ever read was by a high school senior who, at age seven, started volunteering with kids diagnosed with cancer. The little girl became a national advocate for volunteering with sick children, appeared in the media, and won prestigious awards for her work. Over a decade, she worked with over 100 hospitalized children, befriending each one as well as their families. Her college essay, however, wasn’t about her work or the accolades she received for it. It instead detailed how she had stayed close to these parents and siblings, and talked about the emotional impact upon realizing that she was a link, often the final one, to the children the families had lost.

The same principles apply to parent essays. To make it easier, we ask parents to not use adjectives when they write and describe applicants. Terms like brilliant , gifted , caring , talented , and a host of others not only bore admissions committees, but scare them. If, for example, a parent genuinely feels his child is brilliant or gifted, is that same parent going to expect and demand “special” treatment for that child if and when she is admitted to the school, taking teachers’ precious time away from the class at large? That is how to get rejected on the spot.

Try to write an anecdotally-driven parent statement.

For young children, a day in the life of your child is far more interesting and introductory than a list of his or her attributes as observed by Mom or Dad. For older kids, one or two academic or social experiences is a good suggestion for parent admissions statements, especially the effect these experiences had on the child’s development.

Do not write a statement longer than a single page.

There is much to say about every child, but school applications may not be the venue in which to say it. If schools receive 900 parent statements for a particular point of entry, how much do you believe actually gets read if the statements are overwhelmingly long? More saliently: will it get read at all?

Do not feel you have to impress.

Usually when parents write to impress, it has the opposite effect. The “leader” who is always first to finish the reading or art or math project and “help” his peers in the classroom, while at the same time designs the group’s imaginary games and activities, is often perceived as demanding and overbearing. This is a more central question: can that same leader also assume the role of follower, giving others a chance to shine and create?

Don’t try to conjure the future.

The kid who likes playing with a science kit is not necessarily destined to become a neuroscientist, just as the kid who enjoys writing about his summer vacation is not necessarily tomorrow’s Pulitzer Prize-winning author.

Above all, don’t overstate.

A child who donates his or her gently used clothes or toys to charity is not Mother Theresa helping the poor, or Jimmy Carter building homes for humanity. She is a kid learning about charity and community service.

Balance what you write.

Few kids, especially younger children, actually sit around all day trying to perfect a task or learned skill, whether that be math, writing, art, or computer science, and if they do, they are missing out on many other aspects that childhood and adolescence exist to introduce them to. Admissions directors are famous for asking the magic question, “What else is your child interested in?” Schools do not teach one subject; they teach many.

Don’t brag, even inadvertently.

Your child’s interest in the ocean, marine life, and swimming is fine to write about as is his fascination with changing seasons, nature, and animals, as long as it isn’t preceded by the words: “At our vacation home …”

Finally, an admissions essay is not the place to list the people you know who are connected to a school (parent, alumni, board member, etc.). For the most part, admissions directors do not like the “powers that be” to dictate which students to accept, and that is the subtle message of a parent statement that name drops.

We are taught to be ourselves at every turn. It’s hard to do in private school admissions, when you suspect that other parents are presenting better selves than they really are, and, of course, painting rosier, larger-than-life pictures of their children. Yet, being honest often yields the best results in terms of admission at virtually every point of entry. Think about the simple, beautiful message of the aforementioned Common App essay.

Related Parent Resources

• Is Your Child Ready For Kindergarten? A Parents Guide To Kindergarten Readiness
• 10 Mnemonic Devices That Every Elementary Schooler Will Remember
• Kindergarten Cutoff Dates: Fall Birthdays and Other Woes
• Private Preschool Admissions Tips: The Interview
• Best Math Apps For Kids: An Overview

RECENT POSTS

ACT and SAT Score Comparison: Score Conversions and Chart

ACT Test Dates 2024: Upcoming Test Dates & Deadlines for the ACT Exam

How To Check Your SAT Score: A Step-By-Step Guide

Sign Up For the Latest News

• 60 Chelsea Piers Ste 6020, New York, NY 10011
• [email protected]
• 844 663 9484

Admit NY’s Guide to Writing Parent Statements

It’s admissions season once again, and parents around New York City are gearing up for an intense, months-long journey. The admissions process for private schools in New York involves many steps; read more about preparing for the entire process here . But in the fall, one of the first steps for families to begin focusing on is parent statements. 

Many parents find parent statements challenging to write: how can you possibly encapsulate your child’s entire personality and how much you adore them into a few paragraphs? But much like any writing project, developing a parent statement gets easier once you sit down and get started.

We recommend that all parents begin by drafting a general statement about their child. Most schools ask for an essay that boils down to “Tell us about your child,” though the specific wording of prompts might differ. So, it’s always a good idea to start by developing a general response first, then repurposing bits and pieces of that general template into more specific responses for other prompts. This advice applies to both the general “Tell us about your child” prompt, and also the “What are you looking for in a school / What type of school environment is a good fit for your child / Why are you applying to this school” prompt. The latter also lends well to starting with a general response and then customizing it later for each school.

How should you structure your parent statement? Below are the four elements we recommend including in any essay. But don’t forget that all of these parts should tie together; the four sections below should flow from one to the next and connect coherently. Your completed statement should paint a consistent, compelling, and authentic portrait of your child. 

• Section One: Personality. Start by describing your child’s personality and what makes them unique. What are their prominent character traits that define who they are, both as an individual and as a student? How do they show up as a community member, friend, teammate, classmate, sibling, and son/daughter? Use specific anecdotes to demonstrate any traits you describe.
• Section Two: Academic Interests and Strengths. What are your child’s unique academic abilities and/or interests? In which subjects do they excel, and why? What type of learner is your child? Once again, lean on anecdotes to show rather than merely tell.
• Section Three: Extracurricular Interests . If applicable, how do any of your child’s extracurriculars intersect with their personality and academic interests? Describe their involvement in any key activities, including how long they’ve been involved, their role, and how that activity has helped them grow.
• Section Four: School Environment. Finally, use everything you’ve shared in previous sections to paint a picture of the type of school environment that will help your child thrive. Reference back to their unique traits, academic interests, and extracurricular pursuits. 

Once you’ve drafted a general parent statement that covers all of the key sections above, it’s time to begin customizing your statement to match the prompts for each specific school. We recommend creating a Google Doc to organize each school’s prompts and responses. Create a new page for each school, and paste in their prompts. Make sure to note any word or character counts. 

 After you’ve gathered all of the prompts in one place, review them all at once and notice how they compare. We recommend creating a color-coding system to group prompts into categories; for example, highlight in pink any prompts that relate to your child’s academic strengths, and use green for prompts about family life. Remember, your goal is to work smart, not hard: it’s very common for schools to ask the same questions in different words, so be efficient about repurposing the same segment of writing across multiple prompts. 

Begin copy/pasting any elements of your general parent statement that fit for each individual prompt. From there, it’s time to brain dump: jot down thoughts, anecdotes, and bullet points that should be included in each response. Once you’ve finished this rough outlining process for all of the prompts for one school, take a look back on all of the essays put together to ensure you’ll touch on all of the key themes you want the school to know (and make sure there aren’t any redundancies). 

The final step is probably the hardest: translating these snippets of writing and notes into full essays for each prompt. We’ve written elsewhere about our top tips to keep in mind when writing your final responses, but we’ll summarize them here: prioritize quality over quantity. Include plenty of anecdotes. Be honest and authentic. Make sure your essays are consistent with the rest of your child’s application. Don’t name-drop. Don’t overstate or embellish. 

You’ll probably feel like a high school senior preparing college applications again, but we promise that you’ll feel very accomplished once you finish drafting your parent statements! Looking for even more parent statement guidance? Check out our full sample parent statement here to read a high-quality example that exemplifies all of the tips above. 

Struggling to compose parent statements that capture your child’s unique personality and strengths? We’re here to help . 

You May Also Like

How to Talk to Your Child’s Teachers

How to Nurture Your Child's Early Literacy

Why Should You Get Ready for Admissions in the Spring?

Admissions Matters: The Essay

Editor's Note: I am most grateful to Kate Fisher, who is an expert in admissions essays with Noodle Pros , for explaining how to handle the inevitable essay portion of your child's private school admissions application. ~Rob

If your child is applying to a private middle school or high school, he or she will likely have to write an admissions essay. It is important to remember that this is not a college admissions essay, which means that the standards used to assess your child’s writing ability are lower. However, this also means that it’s much easier for admissions officers to quickly identify essays that a parent, teacher, or tutor has had too heavy a hand in.

It is extremely difficult to disguise adult involvement in an essay that is supposed to be written by a child applying to middle school or high school. You may feel uncomfortable allowing your child to submit his or her essay without reading it over. If you choose to help him or her by proofreading or editing it, remember to make sure the language, syntax, and sentence structure remain age-appropriate. No private school admissions officer expects a rising sixth grader to write as well as an award-winning novelist, let alone a college-educated adult.

The best way to ensure the success of your child’s admissions essay is to show how to choose the right essay. Most private schools ask applicants to choose one prompt from a list of several. Helping your child brainstorm which topic to write about is a great way for you to be involved without heavily editing or actually writing the essay. When helping your child select a prompt, try to gauge which topic appeals the most. If none of the topics spark excitement which happens more often than not, try to determine what kind of prompt will best help showcase your child's personality.

While the list of prompts is long, most fall under a few broader categories, which I have listed below with some prompts I have seen over the past few years.

Prompts encouraging writing about others.

Who do you admire? If you were to develop a Mount Rushmore of the 21st Century, which four individuals would be represented and why?

The world's governments have decided to put a permanently manned colony on Mars. You are part of the advisory committee planning the settlement. You may select four people to live in the colony. What characteristics or skills would you want them to have to be able to influence the new Martian society?

Tell us about a fictional character in literature, comic books, film or television that you admire. What are the traits that this individual exhibits that make them worthy of your admiration?

The first two prompts are easy to translate into a straightforward essay structure, i.e., introduction, body paragraphs for each of the four individuals, and conclusion. But neither offers the applicant the opportunity to reveal very much about him or herself. In fact, most students choose the same people - Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton appear on nine out of ten essays of this ilk that I have read - or people with similar roles - Steve Jobs and Bill Gates also show up on many essays with prompts like these.

While the fictional character prompt may seem fun, students often get distracted by providing context in terms of plot and don’t fully answer the question. Try to steer your child away from topics that encourage writing about other people.

Prompts which encourage writing about you.

What is the relationship between your life in school and your life outside of school?

Tell us about your best experience in school and your best experience out of school. What made each of them the best?

Of all of the things you are learning, what do you think will be the most useful when you are an adult?

What do you do in your extracurricular life that demonstrates a commitment to learning beyond the classroom?

These prompts all ask the applicant to relate his or her life in school to life outside of school. This allows the student to provide a more holistic view of who they are, not just in the classroom, but also in extracurricular pursuits. If your child knows what clubs or activities he or she wants to pursue in middle school or high school, topics in this category are a great choice.

Prompts requiring thoughtful, specific responses.

Who are you? You're writing the story of your life so far. What's the title? Why?

If your family had its own flag, what would be on it? If you had your own personal flag, would it be different from your family's flag? In what way?

Describe something you're hoping for, and discuss the obstacles or difficulties that must be overcome if this goal is to be achieved, either by you or by others.

Prompts like these can be a bit overwhelming for some students, and indeed for many adults given the almost existential quality of some of the questions in this category. It is difficult for a student applying to sixth grade to know what the title of the story of his or her life is so far. If your child chooses to write an essay on a prompt that describes who they are in the grand scheme of the world at large, make sure that the response stays specific rather than general.

Regardless of the topic your child chooses to write about, the essay is only one element of what is a highly-involved application replete with test scores, teacher recommendations, and on-site interviews. Try to present this writing assignment as a fun exercise which allows your child to showcase his or her personality, thereby standing out from the other applicants.

Click here for a complimentary consultation with Noodle Pro Kate Fisher.

Questions? Contact us on Twitter. @privateschoolreview

More Articles

Private School Application Essay Tips

8 Things You Need to Know

• Choosing a Private School
• For Parents & Educators
• Homework Help
• College Admissions
• College Life
• Graduate School
• Business School
• Distance Learning
• M.A., Communications and Information Management, Bay Path College
• B.A., Journalism and Design, Mount Holyoke College

Applying to private school means completing an application, a process with many components. There are short answer questions, forms to fill out, teacher recommendations to collect, standardized tests to take, interviews that need to be scheduled, and an application essay that needs to be written. The essay, for some applicants, can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process. These eight private school application essay tips just might help you produce the best essay you've ever written, which could increase your chances of getting accepted at your dream school. 

1. Read the directions.

This seems obvious, but hear me out. Reading the directions carefully can help ensure that you accomplish the task at hand. While most directions will be straightforward, you never know if the school is going to ask you to address specific questions on the given topic. Some schools also require that you write more than one essay, and if you just assume you get to pick from the three options when you were actually supposed to write three short essays, well that is certainly a problem. Pay attention to word counts that might be given, too.

2. Be thoughtful in your writing sample.

Leading off from that last sentence of bullet one, pay attention to the requested word count, you need to be thoughtful in how you approach the assignment. Word counts are there for a reason. One, to make sure that you give enough detail to actually say something meaningful. Don't cram in a bunch of unnecessary words just to make it longer. 

Consider this essay prompt: Who is someone you admire and why?  If you simply say, "I admire my mom because she is great," what does that tell your reader? Nothing useful! Sure, you answered the question, but what thought went into the response? A minimum word count is going to make you actually put some more effort into the details. Make sure that as you write to reach the word count that you aren't just putting random words down that don't add to your essay. You need to actually put some effort into writing a good story - yes, you're telling a story in your essay. It should be interesting to read. 

Also, remember that writing to a specific word count doesn't mean that you should just stop when you hit the required 250 words either. Few schools will penalize you for going over or under a word count slightly  but don't obliterate the word count. Schools provide these as guidelines to get you to put in some effort to your work, but also prevent you from going overboard. No admission officer wants to read your 30-page memoir as part of your application, no matter how interesting it may be; honestly, they don't have the time. But, they do want a brief story that helps them get to know you as an applicant. 

3.  Write about something that matters to you.

Most private schools give you an option of essay writing prompts. Don't choose the one that you think you should choose; instead, opt for the writing prompt that most interests you. If you're invested in the topic, passionate about it even, then that will show through in your writing sample. This is your chance to show who you are as a person, share a meaningful experience, memory, dream or hobby, which can set you apart from the other applicants , and that's important. 

Admission committee members are going to read hundreds, if not thousands, of essays from prospective students. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to read the same type of essay over and over? Or would you hope to find an essay from a student that's a little different and tells a great story? The more interested you are in the topic, the more interesting your final product will be for the admission committee to read.  

4. Write Well.

This should be obvious, but it must be stated that this essay should be written well, using proper grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. Know the difference between your and you're; its and it's; and there, their, and they're. Don't use slang, acronyms, or text-speak. 

5. Write. Edit/Revise. Read it Out Loud. Repeat. 

Don't settle on the first words you put down on paper (or type on your screen). Read your admission essay carefully, review it, think about it. Is it interesting? Does it flow well? Does it address the writing prompt and answer any questions that were asked? If you need to, make a checklist of things you need to accomplish with your essay and make sure when you review it that you're actually meeting each requirement. To ensure that your essay flows well, a great trick is to read it out loud, even to yourself. If you stumble while reading it out loud or struggle with what you're trying to get across, that's a sign that you need to revise. When you recite the essay, you should easily move from word to word, sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph. 

6. Get a Second Opinion.

Ask a friend, parent or teacher to read your essay and give an opinion. Ask them if it reflects you as a person accurately and if you truly completed the requirements on your checklist. Did you address the writing prompt and answer any questions that were asked? 

Also get a second opinion on the writing style and tone. Does it sound like you? The essay is your chance to showcase your own unique writing style, tone of voice, personality, and interests. If you write a stock essay that feels cookie cutter and overly formal in nature, the admission committee isn't going to get a clear idea of who you are as an applicant. Make sure the essay you write is genuine. 

7. Make sure the work is truly yours. 

Taking the lead from the last bullet, make sure your essay is genuine. This is extremely important. Teachers, parents, admission consultants, secondary school counselors, and friends can all weigh in on it, but the writing needs to be 100% yours. Advice, editing, and proofreading are all fine, but if someone else is crafting your sentences and thoughts for you, you're misleading the admission committee.

Believe it or not, if your application doesn't accurately reflect you as an individual, you can jeopardize your future at the school. If you apply using an essay you didn't write (and makes your writing skills look better than they actually are), the school will eventually find out. How? Because it's school, and you're eventually going to have to write an essay for your classes. Your teachers will quickly assess your writing abilities and if they don't line up with what you presented in your application, there will be an issue. The private school you've been accepted to may even dismiss you as a student if you're deemed to be dishonest and not capable of managing the academic expectations. 

Basically, applying under false pretenses and passing off someone else's work as yours is a major problem. Using someone else's writing is not only misleading but can also be considered plagiarism. Don't google sample admission essays and copy what someone else has done. Schools take plagiarism seriously, and starting off your application like this isn't going to help. 

8. Proofread.

Last but not least, proofread, proofread, proofread. Then have someone else proofread. The last thing you want to do is spend all this time and effort to create an awesome private school application essay and then discover that you misspelled a bunch of words or left out a word somewhere and ruin what could have been an awesome essay with some accidental mistakes. Don't just rely on spellcheck either. The computer recognizes both "that" and "than" as properly spelled words, but they certainly aren't interchangeable. 

• Graduate Admissions Essay Dos and Don'ts
• How to Write and Format an MBA Essay
• How to Write an Outstanding College Application Essay
• How to Write the Graduate Admissions Essay
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue
• Ideal College Application Essay Length
• Topic of Your Choice: Common Application Essay Tips
• How to Write a Great College Application Essay Title
• Addressing Diversity in a College Application Essay
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
• MBA Essay Tips
• Common Application Essay Option 2 Tips: Learning from Failure
• Tips for an Application Essay on a Significant Experience
• Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person
• Common Application Essay, Option 1: Share Your Story
• Tips for Writing a Winning College Transfer Essay

Exceptional Personal Essay Examples

Personal Statement Examples

When you’re applying to college, all of the different steps can feel overwhelming. One of the things students dread most is writing their personal statement. But, by reading personal statement examples and examples of college essays that worked, students can learn what makes a great college essay. Likewise, reading personal essay examples can help you get inspired to write your own!

Personal statement examples show the wide variety of essays that students write. All personal statement examples are unique to each student. However, there is a prevailing theme among them all. In each, the student tells a story that communicates something about themselves, their background, and/or their values. 

In this guide to personal statement examples, we’ll discuss:

• The meaning of a personal statement essay and personal statement examples.
• Different personal statement essay prompts.
• How our personal statement examples vary.
• How to write a personal statement using these personal essay examples.

What makes a personal statement stand out?

• Tips for writing your best personal essay.

Before we get into the personal statement examples, let’s start by further defining the subject at hand. 

What is a Personal Statement?

To understand personal statement essay examples, you need to answer the question, “what is a personal statement?”

As you’ll see in these personal statement essay examples, the personal statement is an essay of around 500-650 words. This essay serves as the main point of communication between you and the admissions committee. It’s sometimes referred to as a college essay, personal essay, or Common App essay. 

But, beyond its word count and nicknames, what is a personal statement? The personal statement is the cover letter to your college application. It’s your chance to speak to the admissions committee in your own voice. The personal statement lets you show who you are outside of or in addition to your grades, recommendation letters, and extracurriculars. 

Since personal essays are so unique to the individual, there’s no one way to write them. As you’ll see in the personal statement examples, students approach personal essays in many different manners. 

Now that we’ve answered the question “what is a personal statement?”, let’s go over when you’ll need to write a personal statement. 

Do college applications require a Personal Statement?

We promise the personal statement examples we’ve compiled in this article will be useful. In fact, almost all colleges require you to write a personal statement. However, depending on what application you’re submitting, the personal statement might show up in a different context. That’s why we’re including multiple personal statement essay examples in this guide. 

If you’re applying with the Common Application, you’ll be writing a personal statement essay as part of your application. The personal statement format of the Common App is a 500-650 word essay that answers one of 6 prompts–or it is an essay on “any topic of your choice.” This personal statement format is relatively common. Indeed, many other personal statement examples will be of a similar length, answering similar prompts. 

Of course, different types of applications technically have different essay prompts. But, as you’ll see in the personal statement examples, most of the prompts ask similar things of you as an applicant. In order to write a strong personal essay, you’ll need to spend some time introspecting. 

In this guide, we’ll go over personal statement essay examples from the Common App as well as personal statement essay examples of the Questbridge essay.

Personal Statement vs. Common App Essay

When reading these personal statement examples, you might wonder: what’s the difference between personal statement examples and Common App essay examples?

A personal statement is a broader category of essay that does not have to be affiliated with the Common Application . As you’ll see in the personal essay examples, a personal statement is just an essay that says something about you. The Common App essay is a specific essay that answers one of the Common App prompts. It is submitted to every college you apply to using the Common App. 

Since the Common App is so, well, common, it may be the only personal statement you have to write. However, there are other application portals, like the Coalition Application and Questbridge program. Some schools also have their own application portal, such as ApplyTexas or the UC application. Depending on each application platform, the personal statement formats will vary. Therefore, it’s good to look at personal statement examples from different application types so you can get a feel for how the personal statement formats differ. But, you’ll notice similarities that exist among the personal statement examples, no matter the application platform. 

As we continue this guide on personal statement examples, let’s dive into some personal statement examples prompts. 

Examples of Personal Statement Prompts

In personal statement examples prompts, you may notice some themes. In general, all personal statement examples will provide students with an opportunity to explain a significant aspect of their personality or upbringing. 

Let’s look at some personal statement examples prompts, starting with one from the Common App: 

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

And here’s one of the personal statement examples prompts from the UC application:

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Pretty similar, right? Both of these personal statement examples prompts ask you to think about an academic subject that you’re interested in and how you’ve interacted with that subject. If you’re someone who spends a lot of time participating in academic or research-based extracurriculars, these personal statement examples prompts might be good for you. Alternately, if all of your extracurriculars are NOT academic—sports, theater, artistic pursuits, a job—this could be a great opportunity for you to elaborate on whatever academic area you’re passionate about. 

These personal statement examples prompts are similar. However, that doesn’t mean that you can re-use different personal statements to answer them. For one, that UC prompt has a word limit of 350 words, whereas the Common App prompt is between 500-650 words. 

Here’s another of the UC personal statement examples prompts that is more unique and specific to the UC application:

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Now let’s look to this prompt from the Common App personal statement examples prompts which is pretty singular to the Common App:

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Both of these personal statement examples prompts encourage you to reflect on yourself and your life. However, they are very different questions that would result in different personal essay formats. 

Now, let’s look more closely at the Common App essay prompts before we look at Common App personal statement examples. 

Common App Essay Prompts 

The Common App essay prompts are the most frequently used personal statement format. As such, many of our personal statement examples are answers to Common App questions. Though schools often have additional short supplemental essays, most accept the Common App personal statement.

There are 7 Common App essay prompts and each should be answered in 500-650 words:

7 Common App Essay Prompts

1. some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. if this sounds like you, then please share your story., 2. the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. how did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience, 3. reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. what prompted your thinking what was the outcome, 4. reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. how has this gratitude affected or motivated you, 5. discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others., 6. describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. why does it captivate you what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, 7. share an essay on any topic of your choice. it can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design..

According to Forbes , the most popular of the Common App essay prompts (at least in 2016) is the first one. This prompt inquires about an important aspect of a student’s background, identity, interest, or talent. It is very open-ended. Likewise, you’ll find a lot of personal statement examples that talk about an important aspect of a student’s background. 

One of the least popular of the Common App essay prompts is the third, where you’re asked to reflect on a belief that’s been challenged. This prompt gives you the opportunity to talk about something that has caused you to change, which is a really great subject for an essay. This prompt gives students the opportunity to weave in a lot of strong essay writing tactics: anecdotes (the moment that caused your perspective to change), an easy beginning-middle-end structure, and a window into your beliefs and why you believe them. Plus, if you answer this one of the Common App essay prompts, you’ll be among a minority of students doing so, which is always good when doing college applications! 

The fifth of the Common App essay prompts is quite similar to the third in that it wants you to think about something that caused you to change. In general, all of the Common App personal essay examples will be very open-ended and focused on telling a personal story. Self-reflection and personal growth will be a theme among the prompts. 

Tips for getting started

When writing the Common App personal essay, many people get bogged down in choosing which of the Common App essay prompts to write about. If you feel like you don’t have any college essay ideas, try brainstorming potential answers for each question. Is there a topic that speaks to you, or one answer that came especially easy when you were brainstorming? No one prompt is better than another. Simply put, the best of your college essay ideas is the one you’re passionate about writing and tells something about who you are as a person.

There are lots of places where you can find personal essay examples of Common App essays that worked. There are guides that point out the best personal statement essay examples and why they worked , personal essay examples that feature a student’s “ voice and personality, ” and personal essay examples that got students into universities like Johns Hopkins and UConn . If you’re looking for more college essay ideas and college essay tips, these personal statement sample essays are a great place to start.

Next, let’s look at the prompts for the Coalition Application personal essay examples.

Coalition Application Essay Prompts

The Coalition Application essay prompts are similar to the Common App essay prompts. Therefore, the personal essay examples that answer those prompts will follow a similar personal statement format. Both types of essays are also 500-650 words.

These are the Coalition Application prompts for this year: 

2024-2025 Coalition Application Prompts

1. tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it., 2. what interests or excites you how does it shape who you are now or who you might become in the future, 3. describe a time when you had a positive impact on others. what were the challenges what were the rewards, 4. has there been a time when an idea or belief of yours was questioned how did you respond what did you learn, 5. what success have you achieved or obstacle have you faced what advice would you give a sibling or friend going through a similar experience, 6. submit an essay on a topic of your choice..

Seems pretty familiar, right? If you read Common App personal essay examples and Coalition App personal essay examples, you may not be able to tell the difference. Remember, when you’re writing an essay, you want to make sure to answer the specific prompt. Don’t submit something that doesn’t answer the question! But, all of the personal essay prompts are intentionally open-ended so that you can speak to yourself and your experiences without too much constraint. 

If you read our personal essay examples, you may not be able to tell from the personal statement format whether they’re from the Common App or the Coalition App. This is normal! If it fits—for example, if you answer the prompt about a challenge you faced for both the Common App and the Coalition App—you could even use the same essay, with a few tweaks, to apply with both applications. However, applying to college isn’t the time to cut corners. Whatever college essay ideas you write about, make sure that you’ve put your heart into them. 

Next, let’s look at a slightly different personal statement format for our personal essay examples: the UC personal insight questions. 

UC Personal Insight Questions

Unlike the previous two personal statement formats, the UC personal insight questions are shorter personal essay examples, and you answer more than one. The UC system does not take the Common App. So, you’ll have to answer these prompts if you want to apply to any of the University of California schools. 

These are the UC personal insight questions:

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

2. every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. describe how you express your creative side., 3. what would you say is your greatest talent or skill how have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time, 4. describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced., 5. describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. how has this challenge affected your academic achievement, 6. think about an academic subject that inspires you. describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom., 7. what have you done to make your school or your community a better place, 8. beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the university of california.

The UC personal statement format is different from the Common App and the Coalition App. Since these questions are only answered in 350 words, you’ll need to be more narrow in the scope of your essay. Pick a specific anecdote or topic, and write concisely about it. 

For this personal statement format, you also get to answer four different questions. This means that each question can showcase a different part of who you are. This can relieve some pressure that students face. Instead of feeling like you have to encapsulate your most important values and stories in one long essay, you get four chances to talk about different parts of your life. 

We don’t have any specific UC personal essay examples in this guide. But, we do have more resources specific to UC schools—read our “resources” section at the end of the article for more. 

Questbridge Personal Essay

The Questbridge personal essay is also a different personal statement format than the other personal essay examples. For one, it’s 800 words instead of the Common and Coalition Apps’ 500-650, and there’s only one prompt. 

The Questbridge Prompt

We are interested in learning more about the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your successes. please describe how the most influential factors and challenges in your life have shaped you into the person you are today..

This prompt is open-ended. It allows you to talk about whatever aspects of your life that you feel are the most meaningful and relevant to who you are. 

Questbridge is also different from other applications because it’s not just an application portal, it’s a scholarship. The Questbridge College Match program matches low-income students with top colleges for a full ride scholarship. It’s very competitive and as such you shouldn’t shy away from telling meaningful, personal stories in your application. Think deeply: what has shaped you into the person you are today? 

Questbridge provides its own resources to help students with these essays. This worksheet for brainstorming helps you narrow down a topic and themes, and they also provide personal essay examples. 

Additionally, we’ve included Questbridge personal essay examples in this guide—keep reading to find out why they worked. 

How to write a personal statement?

So while reading great personal essay examples is important, you’re probably wondering how to write a personal statement.

The first step of how to write a personal statement is brainstorming. Think about parts of your life and identity that have influenced you. What is your favorite subject in school, and why? How do you feel about your family’s religion or traditions? Have you ever had a job that taught you something—about budgeting, politics, growing up? Write about something you’re passionate about as this will allow the admissions committee to get to know you better. 

The second step of how to write a personal statement is to free write. Don’t edit and don’t overthink. Just set a timer and try to answer a Common App prompt. Or simply write a story about your life that you care about. Any and all pre-writing is going to be helpful. 

Outlining Your Ideas

The third step of how to write a personal statement is actually outlining your essay. What’s the hook at the beginning that grabs the reader? What anecdotes or details will you include in the middle? What do you want the reader to know about you by the end? If you know where you want to end up, you’ll have an easier time getting there. 

Begin Writing

The fourth step of how to write a personal statement is to actually write! Again, don’t worry about editing (or length) too much at this stage. Just work on getting an essay written. Most importantly, do this long before the application deadline. You’ll want sufficient time for the next step of how to write a personal statement…

Revise! Wait a week, and then read your essay again. Are any parts clunky? Is there anything that doesn’t seem clear? Send your essay to a friend, family member, or college counselor for an outside look. We can guarantee that all of our personal essay examples underwent some revision. Remember, writing is rewriting. 

Let’s look at another important aspect of how to write a personal statement: planning. 

Planning your personal essay for college

One big step of planning your personal essay is reading personal essay examples! Before you start writing your personal essay, read personal essay examples. This will allow you to get a feel for the personal statement format and what makes these essays persuasive. You can also get a good sense of common themes of personal essays from personal essay examples.

Other than reading personal essay examples, an important step of planning how to write a personal statement is introspection. As this Forbes writer put it, “Whatever you write, it’s about you .” Even if you’re answering a short question about your intended major or favorite movie, those things still tell college admissions who you are. In a longer personal statement, you’ll want to make sure to connect your experiences and anecdotes back to what they have taught you or how you’ve grown because of them. 

But make no mistake: rather than Googling “what is an example of a good personal statement,” it’s far better to read our already-vetted personal essay examples. 

Personal Statement Format

When reading our personal essay examples, keep in mind the personal statement format. For longer essays, this format will be pretty similar each time. For shorter essays, you have a little bit more leeway because you have less space, but keep the format in mind.

Open with a hook to draw in your reader. This could be an anecdote, quote, song lyric, or just a really engaging statement. The hook should hint to what the rest of the essay will be about.

Central claim

This should come at some point in your first paragraph. What is your essay about? You don’t need to be super detailed, but you should give the reader an idea of what this personal essay will be about. Is it about what your extracurriculars taught you about community? Is it the moment you realized you didn’t want to be a doctor like your mom? Or is it how your upbringing in a desert area influenced your desire to work in sustainability? Whatever your main claim is, state it from the beginning. 

The next 2-3 paragraphs are the body of your essay. In the body, work on showing, not telling. For example, don’t just say, “Now, sustainability was the most important thing in my life.” Instead, “Now, instead of driving to school every day, I rode my bike, or took a bus. And every pizza box was painstakingly scraped and placed in the recycling bin.”

A good personal essay format is often chronological: it provides a clear way to structure your work that moves from beginning to end. If the hook is one influential conversation with your teacher that changed what you believed, the next two paragraphs could describe what happened next with your thoughts. 

Most importantly, describe some kind of change or progression. 

Your conclusion should restate the main thesis or topic of your essay and look towards the future. What did what you talked about in your essay teach you? How will it affect you as a soon-to-be college student? 

The personal statement format will be truncated with shorter essays, like the UC personal essay examples. Worry less about including whole anecdotes and more about using vivid descriptions for the points you want to get across. You should still try to hook your reader at the beginning, but do so with one line rather than a whole story.

Now that we’ve gone over the personal statement format, let’s take a closer look at how you start a personal statement before we dive into our personal essay examples. 

How to start a personal statement?

As we’ve mentioned, for the standard personal statement format, you want to start with a hook. 

A hook can be many different things. It can just be an engaging phrase, something that makes the reader want to keep reading, such as the following:  

• “I never knew that last Thanksgiving would be the last time I saw my childhood home.”
• “After 10 years of animosity, I can finally say that I understand my mother.” 
• “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen was on an old chalkboard in a dingy 10th grade classroom.” 

A hook can also be an anecdote. Put the reader right in the middle of a scene, and tell the story from there.

Remember, this part of the personal statement format is one of the most important. If you start and end your essay in a strong and memorable way, that’s what your reader will take with them. Keep this in mind as you’re reading the personal essay examples. All of these personal essay examples have compelling hooks—take note of each one and think about what makes it successful.

Personal Essay Examples #1

The first of our personal statement examples for college is about how the student’s upbringing influenced their desire to study politics and human rights. The student showcases their outstanding academic work and demonstrates the values that matter to them. 

Hundreds of thousands were fleeing the country, its endless violence, and its senseless injustices. I was born in the midst of a war-torn Colombia in 1993. My mother and I were caught up in this cascade of refugee emigrants. In this way, failed political and legal human rights systems served as a foundation for my upbringing — an upbringing that has shaped my motivations, academic pursuits, and aspirations for a future in public service. I had experienced many obstacles from the outset, but none as impactful as growing up as an undocumented refugee in Florida, U.S. Having left both family and nation behind, from an early age, I witnessed the sufferings that come as a result of failed human rights protection systems. These pains began to catalyze an eager desire within me to prepare myself to be able to protect the most vulnerable and underrepresented.  

In the U.S., my mother always instilled in me the belief that I could do anything if I worked hard enough. She would always tell me, “todo es possible, si te esfuerzas.” Her words motivated me to keep overcoming and nourished within me a zeal for learning. I applied her words in my academics and on the football field, and I began to see the fruits of that labor. During those moments I felt grateful for how life was molding me, but I felt an even stronger gratitude for my Christian upbringing. It was this spirituality, imparted unto me by my mother, that grounded me in what I  consider to be the most important quality of all: Integrity. With time, I understood the importance of this project. My aim for social service and social justice, if not intertwined with integrity, would be, in my opinion, for naught.  

My life experiences brought about my interest in political theory. Notably, in analyzing how the philosophical interwove into the pragmatic fabric of the defenseless, using the case of the vulnerable populations that I belonged to as a lens. Research that, due to my desire to have my IB  Independent Essay embody that of undergraduate-level work, I had begun even before arriving on campus. For two years, I dedicated a significant amount of time to construct ideological models that would allow for political institutions to practice their vocation with integrity and virtue, devoid of corruption. The intent of working on what my advisor called “one of the thorniest dilemmas in political theory and the history of political thought,” was no accident.

I knew that the work was difficult. Yet, I have realized that nothing worth its merit is ever easy. In culminating my essay, I  was elated by its success. My approach and philosophy on politics, law, human rights, and what I  wish to continue studying, reflects this very work. It is about helping others, the right way.  Because, ultimately, I believe that sustainable political and legal practices arise from axiomatic virtue in action.  

What I wish to be, and whom I want to protect and serve, has everything to do with what my family and I had lacked. Someone that would have stood up for us. As a victim, refugee, and survivor,  my tribulations are my sense of purpose. They fuel me to stand up for others. Though I still believe that I can do all things, I also understand my limits and that, as much as I desire to, I cannot change the whole world. Notwithstanding, I feel an obligation to make the most significant difference that  I can for those in need. I believe that in acquiring the knowledge that a bachelor’s degree in politics can offer, I will be better equipped to address the social injustices prevalent around the world and do my part to construct, alongside my colleagues, a better tomorrow.

Personal Statement Sample Essay #2

Next in our personal statement examples for college is an essay about a belief that a student is questioning: Catholicism. The student has to wrestle with their family’s staunch belief to figure out what they truly care about, and then muster the courage to tell their family. This essay follows this student’s struggle, and reflects on the challenge of having an unorthodox belief. 

Personal Statement #2

My journey of questioning the Catholic beliefs that my family members hold close to their hearts has been incredibly intimate and thought-provoking. For many years, I felt as if I had to manifest into the religious person I was not, merely to keep my parents content, and this demoralized me for a large portion of my life. Having to hear Bible verses in a church I was forced to sit in every Sunday and trying to find the validity in these stories is what my time in mass truly consisted of. Why can’t I bring myself to believe that these stories are true, when everyone sitting here is able to? 

Growing up in a hispanic household in which the statement “Gracias a Dios que…” (translation: “Thank God that…”) is expressed everyday, even in the most simplest occurrences, caused me to continue contemplating the veracity of these beliefs as I matured. Thoughts would course through my mind about the reasons why we were thanking God when he did not hand anything to us himself and my parents were working hard for everything that we had. Even when it came to our health, this statement would be reiterated. Trips to medical offices and recovering from illnesses were filled with this statement, and it aggravated me to witness this spiritual being getting the credit for a doctor’s knowledge and actions. Even more questions that I wouldn’t dare to ask kept consuming my thoughts, the biggest one being, “Am I wrong for believing that my family should not be thanking God?” 

One of the most significant aspects of my journey is the day I discovered that my grandfather is also an atheist, as it brought relief upon seeing that I was not alone in doubting the beliefs that my family members hold. However, once the conversation turned to speak about how wrong he was, this feeling of relief quickly brought out my underlying fear that my parents would view me negatively if they knew that I was not the dutiful and religious daughter they believed I was. I also didn’t remember the last time I had spoken to my grandfather, and a feeling of solitude washed over me once again. 

The denouement of my journey arrived when I determined that I did not believe in a god and was no longer afraid of not being accepted by my parents for this. I built the courage to inform them that I do not share the beliefs they hold dear to their hearts. When I realized that I did not have to believe in a god in order to be a good person, my fear of not being accepted went away, as I began to accept myself. 

The most ironic aspect of this journey is the amount of times my family has told me that I am wrong for being an atheist, when I have never told them that they are wrong for being Catholics. I may not partake in their beliefs, but I will always respect the fact that they have them. This journey has been crucial to my personal growth and has shaped me into a very accepting person. One of the biggest factors that has diverted me from having a desire to be part of a religious community is how exclusive they tend to be. It is not only the conceptual aspect of religion that I do not believe in, but also the way many humans have interpreted it and used it to justify discriminatory acts throughout history. 

Everyone in this world should be accepted for who they are, as long as they do not harm others. Being an atheist and dealing with the backlash of my family telling me that I am wrong has only led me to be even more passionate about the things I stand for. I implore that no one should put others down for being their true selves.

Examples of Personal Essays #3

The last of our personal statement examples for college is a Questbridge essay. As mentioned above, the Questbridge essay is for a full-ride scholarship, and so this personal statement format has only one prompt and an 800-word limit. This essay uses vivid description and metaphor to show how something that seems very casual—Costco pizza night—came to represent the sacrifices the student’s parents made to support their family. Questbridge essays often discuss challenges and adversity. Read this last essay of our personal statement examples for college for an example of what makes a great college essay.

Essay #3: Questbridge Essay

I love Costco pizza. 

While I now know that this cheesy, greasy gift from God isn’t good for my arteries, that’s not why I feel so strongly about a Costco staple. 

My fondness stems from the lessons learned in between bites of tangy tomato sauce. 

Sprinting through the towers of bulk foods and between sample carts of Kirkland Signature pizza rolls, Costco was my Garden of Eden. While my parents stocked up on toilet paper and excessive amounts of Madeline Petites, my brother and I raced to the food court and secured our rightful spot in line among the sea of families. The enormous signs towered over us as we scanned the menu for our manna: a ten dollar, eighteen-inch pizza. 

We made our pilgrimage to Costco every Sunday as a family, and it was the only day we were all together. Gathered around the classic red table, we sat on the benches and feasted as if it were the Last Supper. In my eight-year-old eyes, it felt like it was. The recession of 2008 crashed down on us. Papi spent every waking moment in Atlanta, working as a sous chef at the Intercontinental Hotel in Buckhead. Mami worked a regular nine to five Monday through Friday, but with school over at three pm, she was rarely home by then. 

Every weekday after school was the same routine. I wrestled with the front door, attempting to pry it open as my little brother sat on the ground, entranced by the wiggling worms. Together, we tackled our work, keeping each other company in the otherwise empty house. Friday came, and so did excitement at seeing my parents for more than eight hours. Romeo Santos crooned as my mother cleaned on Saturday mornings, and cartoons blared from the television. I was one day closer to entering the promised land: Costco. 

Before she even let go, I flung myself from my mother’s arms and onto the grey linoleum floors. My father slid ten dollars into my hand and winked at me, already aware of my intentions. I raced to the endless line while my brother secured our side table. Pressed up against the smudged glass, we watched, transfixed as gloved hands twirled the dough. My family had front row seats to the greatest show every Sunday. 

Surrounding the 18-inch masterpiece, we dug in immediately, burning our tongues on the scorching cheese. We laughed about the ‘locos’ that visited Mami’s job, and Papi recounted stories about famous people who dined at the hotel. Being able to finally spend time with my entire family brought me the greatest joy. Yet, while these memories are plentiful and endearing, they didn’t shape me into who I am today. It was the difficult conversations. It was over pizza that my father told us he had gotten a second job at Belk because one wasn’t enough. As tomato sauce rolled down my chin, my parents spoke in hushed voices about ‘mortgage’ and ‘loans’: words I couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Yet, it was at those glossy, red tables where my parents reminded me of their endless love and sacrifice. 

My parents gave up their dream home and countless hours of sleep so that I could attend a reputable high school. My home was empty after school because they worked overtime. As we chewed the last bites and headed out the door, my father would always tell me, “Mija, I don’t want you to be like me, working like a donkey for nothing. I hope you aren’t embarrassed of me.” It was then that, I wish I had the courage to tell him that he made me proud. I wish I had the courage now to thank them for everything. 

Pizza Sundays at Costco were more than a simple meal. They created the person I am today. I learned about the sacrifices my parents made, and the obstacles they faced that I couldn’t even begin to wrap my mind around. They were like the crust, sturdy and unfailing: the foundation and support system that I still rely on. Like the cheese, they were flexible and durable; they never collapsed under pressure and kept us together. They were essential like sauce is to a pizza; without them, there would be no family. Just like every pie, they too had been tossed around and molded, beaten but not destroyed. 

I love my parents. 

While they raised me and gave me weekly pizza dinners, that’s not why I feel so strongly about who they are. 

It’s the lessons they taught me that propel me to serve my community and lift others up. They embody true passion, sacrifice, and love and influence me to strive for greatness in my academic endeavors and relationships. They are the ultimate example to me.

What makes a great college essay? As you probably noticed in those personal statement examples, self-reflection is vital when it comes to writing a standout personal essay. Most importantly, be yourself ! Reading personal statement sample essays for college is important to getting started, however, it’s not everything. You’ll need to consider your unique experiences, perspectives, and future goals in order to write your most meaningful personal essay. Write about a subject you are genuinely passionate about. 

Don’t be afraid to take some risks

The personal statement format we provided is just a guideline—there is no perfect personal statement format that will always work. However, don’t do anything too crazy—like rhyming the whole time or submitting 100 words for a 500 word essay. But, remember that we learn the rules of the personal statement format so that we can break them. As long as the essay is grammatically correct, interesting, and true to who you are, you can get creative. Look for creative personal statement sample essays for inspiration. 

Add your why

Don’t just make statements—explain why those statements matter. You can see this in all of the personal essay examples we shared. If something was meaningful to you, explain why. If you want to study a specific subject, explain why . When in doubt, answer why . You can see this demonstrated in the personal statement sample essays above: all of these personal essay examples explain why a student has a specific value or career goal.

Spelling and grammar

Make sure your spelling and grammar are perfect. Nothing kills an essay faster than a typo, and with all of the various spell-check tools available today, there is no excuse. To catch any typos or confusing phrases, read your essay out loud. Anything you stumble on or can’t say in one breath is probably worth revisiting. Look to the personal statement sample essays for guidance.

Additional Personal Statement Tips

There are never too many college essay tips to make applying to college less overwhelming. So, to write an essay that impresses college admissions, in addition to reading college essays that worked and strong examples of college essays, here are some things that you can do: 

Additional Personal Statement Essay Tips

• Check if the schools you’re applying to have a different personal statement format, or look for any other personal statement requirements besides the Common App. 
• Start working in advance—reading guides like this one on personal statement sample essays is a great start. But, reading other materials on college essay tips and applying to college will help you feel more confident when the college admissions process actually begins. 
• Don’t just stop at these personal statement sample essays—read more examples of college essays that aren’t necessarily personal statement sample essays. Learning how to write a great supplemental essay, an essay focused on career or academics , or a personal statement sample essay in the UK are all valuable lessons. These New York Times -recognized personal statement sample essays about money and class are also exceptional—keep reading personal statement sample essays to help you craft your own!
• We’ve got a whole tab on different types of essay guides and Common App essay prompts, like the transfer essay . For more college essay ideas and college essay tips, check out those resources. 

And, speaking of CollegeAdvisor resources and college essay tips… 

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore 

Here are more resources from CollegeAdvisor on how to ace your essays when applying to college: 

CollegeAdvisor Essay-Writing Resources

• Check out this webinar on how to write about your extracurriculars in your college essays. It can be hard to write about extracurriculars without falling into cliches or overdone sports metaphors—watch this webinar to learn more!
• This webinar explains how to translate your personal interests into a future major. Thinking about how to connect your interests to your future major is very helpful for essay writing, especially for the many “why major” supplemental essays you may have to write! 
• Looking at college-specific personal statement sample essays and supplemental essays can be very helpful—especially with an analysis of why they worked . UChicago’s essays are notorious for being unique and outlandish—read some of these personal statement sample essays to spark your creativity ! 

Personal Statement Examples – Final Takeaways

We hope that after reading this guide on personal essay examples you feel more prepared to write great college essays. Our personal statement examples for college span many different topics and represent great storytelling across the board.

This guide on personal statement examples showcased college essays that worked, and answered questions like, “what is a personal statement?” “what are the differences between personal statements on different application platforms?” and “how do I structure my personal statement?”

By reading examples of college essays that worked, we hope that you have a better understanding of the personal statement format, as well as how to impress college admissions with stellar storytelling, structure, and grammar. 

Remember: the biggest thing that college admissions officers are looking for is to learn more about you . So, consider what makes you unique, and start writing!

This article about personal essay examples was written by advisor, Rachel Kahn . Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

Personalized and effective college advising for high school students.

• Advisor Application
• Popular Colleges
• Privacy Policy and Cookie Notice
• Student Login
• California Privacy Notice
• Terms and Conditions
• Your Privacy Choices

By using the College Advisor site and/or working with College Advisor, you agree to our updated Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy , including an arbitration clause that covers any disputes relating to our policies and your use of our products and services.

More From Forbes

College essays that worked and how yours can too.

• Share to Facebook
• Share to Twitter
• Share to Linkedin

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS - JULY 08: A view of Harvard Yard on the campus of Harvard University on ... [+] July 08, 2020 in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology have sued the Trump administration for its decision to strip international college students of their visas if all of their courses are held online. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

The college essay is a pivotal piece of the college application showcasing your individuality and differentiated outlook to admissions officers. What makes an essay truly shine? Let’s dive into the words behind three standout essays highlighted by university websites and a school newspaper's brand studio so you can get into the right mindset for crafting your own narrative.

Embracing Differences: Finding Strength In Uniqueness

Essay Excerpt: ‘Bra Shopping ’ (Harvard)

Featured by the Harvard Crimson Brand Studio , Orlee's essay recounts a student's humorous and insightful experience of bra shopping with her grandmother, weaving in her unique family dynamics and challenges at her prestigious school.

What Works:

• Humor and Honesty: The student's humor makes the essay enjoyable to read, while her honesty about her challenges adds depth.
• Self-Awareness: She demonstrates a strong sense of self-awareness, embracing her uniqueness rather than trying to fit in.
• Resilience: Her narrative highlights resilience and the ability to find strength in differences.

For Your Essay : To write an essay that embraces your uniqueness, start by identifying a quirky or challenging experience that reflects who a key insight into your experience. Think about how this experience has shaped your perspective and character. Use humor and honesty to bring your story to life, and focus on how you have embraced your differences to become stronger and more resilient.

Best High-Yield Savings Accounts Of 2024

Best 5% interest savings accounts of 2024, finding connections: humor and self-reflection.

Essay: ‘Brood X Cicadas ’ (Hamilton College)

As an example on Hamilton's admissions website, Nicholas writes about the cicadas swarming his hometown every 17 years and draws a parallel between their emergence and his own transition to college life. He uses humor and self-reflection to create a relatable and engaging narrative.

• Humor: Nicholas uses humor to make his essay entertaining and memorable. His witty comparisons between himself and cicadas add a unique twist.
• Self-Reflection: By comparing his life to the cicadas’, he reflects on his own growth and readiness for change.
• Relatability: His narrative about facing new experiences and challenges resonates with readers who have undergone similar transitions.

For Your Essay: To infuse humor and self-reflection into your essay, start by identifying an ordinary experience or object and think about how it relates to your life. Write down funny or insightful observations about this connection. Use humor to make your essay more engaging, but ensure it still conveys meaningful self-reflection. This balance can make your essay both entertaining and profound.

Persistence and Multicultural Identity: Life Lessons From Tortilla Making

Essay: ‘ Facing The Hot Griddle ’ (Johns Hopkins University)

In this essay published by Hopkins Insider, Rocio uses the process of making tortillas to explore her multicultural identity and the challenges she has faced. Her story beautifully weaves together her Guatemalan heritage and her experiences growing up in the United States.

• Metaphor and Symbolism: The process of making tortillas becomes a powerful metaphor for the student’s journey and struggles. The symbolism of the masa harina and water mixing parallels her blending of cultural identities.
• Personal Growth: The essay highlights her perseverance and adaptability, qualities that are crucial for success in college.
• Cultural Insight: She provides a rich, personal insight into her multicultural background, making her story unique and compelling.

For Your Essay: To write an essay that explores your identity through a metaphor, start by thinking about an activity or tradition that holds significant meaning for you. Consider how this activity relates to your life experiences and personal growth. Use detailed descriptions to bring the activity to life and draw connections between the process and your own journey. Reflect on the lessons you've learned and how they've shaped your identity.

A winning college essay isn’t simply about parading your best accomplishment or dramatizing your challenges. It’s not a contest for which student is the most original or entertaining. Rather, the essay is a chance for you to showcase your authenticity, passion, resilience, social awareness, and intellectual vitality . By sharing genuine stories and insights, you can create an essay that resonates with admissions committees and highlights your unique qualities.

For you to have the best possible essay, mindset is key. Here’s how to get into the zone:

• Reflect Deeply: Spend time thinking about your experiences, challenges, and passions. Journaling can help you uncover deep insights.
• Discuss and Share: Talking about your stories with friends, family, or mentors can provide new perspectives and emotional clarity.
• Immerse Yourself: Engage in activities that you are passionate about to reignite the feelings and memories associated with them.
• Draft Freely: Don’t worry about perfection on the first try. Write freely and honestly, then refine your narrative.

The secret to a standout college essay lies in its authenticity, depth, and emotional resonance. By learning from these successful examples and getting into the right mindset, you can craft an essay that not only stands out but also provides a meaningful insight into who you are. Remember, your essay is your story—make it a piece of writing that you will always be proud of.

• Editorial Standards
• Reprints & Permissions