personal essay examples for 4th grade

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15 Inspiring Personal Narrative Examples for Writers

Reveal a part of yourself in your essay.

Students start writing personal narratives at a young age, learning to use descriptive language to tell a story about their own experiences. Try sharing these personal narrative examples for elementary, middle, and high school to help them understand this essay form.

What is a personal narrative?

Think of a narrative essay like telling a story. Use descriptive language, and be sure you have a beginning, middle, and end. The essay should recount your personal experiences, including your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Learn more about personal narrative essays here:

What Is Narrative Writing, and How Do I Teach It in the Classroom?
Engaging Personal Narrative Ideas for Kids and Teens
Best Mentor Texts for Narrative Writing in Elementary School

Elementary School Personal Narrative Examples

In elementary school, personal narratives might be quite short, just a paragraph or two. The key is to encourage kids to embrace a personal style of writing, one that speaks in their own voice. Take a look at these elementary school personal narrative essay examples for inspiration.

The Horrible Day

“next i fell asleep in my cereal and my brother stole my toast”—anonymous student.

In this short personal narrative written by a 2nd grader, the author describes a bad day with lots of details and an informal tone. It’s a great model for your youngest writers.

Read the full essay: The Horrible Day at Thoughtful Learning

Keep an Eye on the Sky!

“as we made our way out to the field, my stomach slowly turned into a giant knot of fear.” —anonymous student.

Any student who dreads gym class will connect with this essay, which turns a challenge into a triumph. This narrative from Time for Kids is annotated, with highlighted details and tips to help kids write their own essay.

Read the full essay: Keep an Eye on the Sky! at Time for Kids

Grandpa, Chaz, and Me

“i really miss grandpa, and so does my brother, even though he never met him.” —cody, 4th grade student.

Written by a 4th grader, this essay relates the author’s loss of a grandfather at a very young age. Using simple, personal language, they tell a compelling story in a few short paragraphs.

Read the full essay: Grandpa, Chaz, and Me at Thoughtful Learning

Surviving an Embarrassing Situation

“i had made the shot in the wrong basket, giving the green shirts the win” —anonymous student.

Personal narratives tell a story, with a beginning, middle, and end. This annotated essay outlines those parts, making it easier for young writers to do the same in their own writing.

Read the full essay: Surviving an Embarrassing Situation at Sopris West Educational Services

“Do you have a friend who loves you?” —Kendra, 4th grade student

Writing about friends gives writers the chance to describe someone’s physical characteristics and personality. This 4th grade essay uses personal details to bring a beloved friend to life.

Read the full essay: Ann at Thoughtful Learning

Middle School Personal Narrative Examples

By middle school, personal narratives are longer and more involved, telling more detailed stories and experiences. These middle school personal narrative essay examples model strong writing skills for this age group.

“As thoughts of certain death run through my mind, the world appears a precious, treasured place.” —Amy, student

Describing an opportunity to overcome your worst fears makes an excellent personal narrative topic. The vivid descriptions of the landscape and the author’s feelings help the reader make a strong connection to the author.

Read the full essay: The Climb at Thoughtful Learning

The Best Friend Question

“i’ve often wondered, does not having a best friend make me defective” —blanche li, age 13, diablo vista middle school, danville, california.

When her Spanish teacher asked students for an essay describing their best friend, 13-year-old Blanche Li fell back on her standard story: that of a made-up person. Here, she explains why she made up “Haley” and wonders what having an imaginary best friend says about her.

Read the full essay: The Best Friend Question at The New York Times

The Racist Warehouse

“i didn’t know racism was still around; i thought that situation had died along with dr. king.” —alicia, 8th grade student.

Strong personal narratives often relate the way the author learned an important life lesson. Here, an 8th grader describes her first experience with racism, in an essay that will sadly ring true with many readers.

Read the full essay: The Racist Warehouse at Thoughtful Teaching

“For the first time, we realized that we didn’t know how to express our voice, and we always suppressed it.” —Jocelyn C., 7th grade student, Texas

Seventh-grader Jocelyn C. describes the unique experience of spending two years living in an RV with her family, traveling the country. She relates the ups and downs of their trip, illustrating the way her family learned to live together in close quarters and embrace the adventure.

Read the full essay: RV Journey at Write From the Heart

An Eight Pound Rival

“i’m trying to accept that he didn’t mean to dominate the center stage all the time, that’s just one of the many lovable assets of his personality.”.

A new sibling can change everything in a family, especially when you’ve always been the baby. This middle schooler explains her challenging relationship with a little brother that she loves, even when he drives her a bit crazy. (Find this essay on page 42 at the link.)

Read the full essay: An Eight Pound Rival at Teaching That Makes Sense

High School Personal Narrative Examples

High school students have more complex stories to tell, though they’re sometimes reluctant to do so. Reading personal narrative essay examples like these can encourage them to open up and get their thoughts, feelings, and ideas down on the page.

Sorry, Wrong Number

“when i received the first text, i was a playful sixth grader, always finding sly ways to be subversive in school and with friends.” —michelle ahn, high school student.

When Michelle Ahn was 11, she started getting texts for a wrong number, a man named Jared. Rather than correcting the error, she spends the next few years occasionally engaging with his texters as “Jared,” learning more about him. Though she finally comes clean, her time as “Jared” exposes her to a way of life very different from her own, and opens her eyes to the inner lives of others.

Read the full essay: Sorry, Wrong Number at The New York Times

Caught in the Net

“little does everyone else know how often i’m not doing school research or paper writing; instead i’m aimlessly writing emails or chatting with internet friends and family hundreds of miles away.” —kim, college student.

Even before social media and smartphones swept the world, internet addiction had become a problem. Here, a student shares her experiences in AOL chat rooms, meeting people from around the globe. Eventually, she realizes she’s sacrificing life in the real world for her digital friends and experiences, and works to find the right balance.

Read the full essay: Caught in the Net at Thoughtful Learning

Nothing Extraordinary

“an uneasy feeling started to settle in my chest. i tried to push it out, but once it took root it refused to be yanked up and tossed away.” —jeniffer kim, high school student.

During an ordinary shopping trip, high schooler Jenniffer Kim suddenly realizes she’s ashamed of her mother. At the same time, she recognizes all the sacrifices her mom has made for her, and gladly takes the chance to make a tiny sacrifice of her own.

Read the full essay: Nothing Extraordinary at The New York Times

The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

“at this point in life, i had not yet learned to be gentle with myself, or others.” —anonymous student.

A teen who lives with bipolar disorder recounts a difficult conversation with her parents, in which her mother dismisses her as “crazy.” A few years later, this same teen finds herself in the emergency room, where her mother has just tried to die by suicide. “Crazy!” the daughter thinks. After her mother also receives a bipolar disorder diagnosis, the author concludes, “‘Crazy’ is a term devised to dismiss people.”

Read the full essay: The Pot Calling the Kettle Black at Pressbooks

What a Black Woman Wishes Her Adoptive White Parents Knew

“i know that i am different, but do not have the words to understand how.” —mariama lockington.

Though not written by a high schooler, this essay by Mariama Lockington makes an excellent mentor text for this age group. Lockington dives deep into her feelings about being adopted by parents of a different race, and shares her challenges in poignant language that speaks directly to the reader.

Read the full essay: What a Black Woman Wishes Her Adoptive White Parents Knew at Buzzfeed News

Do you use personal narrative examples as mentor texts in your classroom? Come share your experiences and ask for advice in the We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook !

Plus, strong persuasive writing examples (essays, speeches, ads, and more) ..

Find stirring personal narrative examples for elementary, middle school, and high school students on an array of topics.

65 Engaging Personal Narrative Ideas for Kids and Teens

Tell a story to engage the reader. Continue Reading

Narrative Writing | Student Writing Samples

Personal Experience Narrative Sample- Grade 4- Snowed

Read Time 3 mins | Dec 8, 2021 3:30:06 PM | Written by: Toolbox

Personal Experience Narrative Grade 4 Sample Snowed

Summarizing Framework

This is a story about Danny and me. The experience was playing in the snow . The experience concluded when the boys were so cold they went inside .

What worked:

Organization: There is a sense of story with a beginning, middle, and end.
Entertaining Beginning: There is a good action beginning statement.

Feedback with Prescriptive Feedback:

CHOOSE a Focus Skill: One skill that will make the biggest impact

For this student, genre and organization needs to be the focus.

Genre and Author’s Purpose: This story was difficult to summarize because it is a classic list of actions rather than a fully elaborated main event. What is the main event from the list of actions in the middle of your story? The story does not begin as close to the main event as possible because the main event is unclear.

Section 1 Lesson 1: Introducing Graphic Organizers - Summarizing Framework
Section 1 Lesson 8: Annotating Narrative Stories - the organizational structure and features of narrative
Section 1 Lesson 10: Givens and Variables - practice planning focused narrative stories

Elaborative Detail: This student needs modeled lessons in description of setting and feelings. Elaborative detail is a critical foundational skill that builds the essential parts of the narrative story.

Section 3 Lesson 3: General or Specific? The awareness level for elaborative detail.
Section 3 Lesson 5: Creating Elaborative Segments (modeling is crucial)

Entertaining Beginnings:

Section 2 Lesson 1: Starting Off on the Right Foot
Section 2 Lesson 2: Analyze the Beginning
Section 2 Lesson 3: Revising Story Beginnings

Main Event: What is the main event? Student needs to establish a single, significant event. Is it the snowball fight? Is it going sledding? Is it building an igloo? Once that is established then add a balanced mix of action, description, thoughts/feeling, dialogue, and sound.

Section 5 Lesson 1: Comparing Summaries and Fully Elaborated Main Events
Section 5 Lesson 2: Main Event: apply the productive questioning techniques

Recommended Resources

Empowering Writer's Methodology
Narrative Writing Guide for Grade 4

4th grade nonfiction writing samples

by: Jessica Kelmon | Updated: June 21, 2018

Print article

In fourth grade, students are starting to prepare for middle school, when nonfiction writing is practiced in all subjects. What’s more, under the Common Core Standards, nonfiction writing is more and more essential to the curriculum. Learn more about your fourth grader’s writing under Common Core . According to the standards, students should be learning three types of writing:

Informative/explanatory writing

Like a report, the purpose of this type of writing is to convey information accurately with facts, details, and supportive information.

These can be stories or screenplays or other fiction written in the first, second, or third person.

Opinion pieces

In opinion writing, students encourage readers to accept their opinion about something by writing what they and why.

Fourth grade writing sample #1

John Cabot and the Rediscovery of North America

In this child’s report on John Cabot, you’ll see a few important features. First, there are five sections, each with a bolded header announcing what sort of information follows. Note that the fifth section is the bibliography, where everyone can see the two sources this student relied on for her information.

Type of writing: Informative/explanatory writing

Fourth grade writing sample #2

Big Book of Evolution

Dylan’s report on evolution is also divided into sections. Note that Dylan uses visuals throughout this report. What’s more, the report has a table of contents at the beginning, and at the end, Dylan cites his sources for the written information and the visuals.

Fourth grade writing sample #3

A Tale of Despereaux

This is a classic fourth grade book report. Note that the student uses headers to announce what type of information follows: the summary, the characters, and the writer’s recommendation about the book.

Fourth grade writing sample #4

Zoos Should Close

This student writes an opinion piece about why she thinks zoos should close. Note that she cites multiple reasons with examples of why zoos aren’t good for animals. She also addresses a counterargument and refutes it, which isn’t actually required until seventh and eighth grade.

Type of writing: Opinion writing

See more examples of real kids’ writing in different grades: Kindergarten , first grade , second grade , third grade , fifth grade .

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Writing personal narratives

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Personal narrative writing for grade 4

Organize then write.

Students are prompted to write a personal narrative using a graphic organizer to plan their text.

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Personal Narrative Writing Unit FOURTH GRADE

Grade Level: 4th Grade

My fourth grade personal narrative writing unit includes 8 weeks of done-for-you writing lessons about how to write a small moment story. This unit contains detailed lesson plans, mentor texts, anchor charts, student writing tasks, and rubrics –everything you need to be a capable, confident writing teacher with students who love to write.

More about this resource

If teaching writing has ever made you cry, weep, tear out your hair, question your existence, or binge-watch reality television—because it’s just that frustrating and overwhelming—this writing unit is perfect for you.

If your students dread writing time more than meatloaf in the school cafeteria…this writing unit is perfect for them, too.

Teaching writing can be tough. Teachers tell me that their district-provided writing curriculum is:

too complicated

Or worse, they don’t have any curriculum at all. Yikes!

But my fourth grade personal narrative writing unit makes teaching writing easy . It takes all the guesswork out of teaching writing and gives you the tools you need to teach engaging and effective writing lessons without breaking a sweat.

The ready-to-use lessons and activities in this personal narrative writing unit will teach your students how to write a small moment story with dialogue, a strong lead, interesting word choice, and paragraphs. And all you have to do is print and teach . The lesson plans are that simple. Seriously.

Student-friendly mentor texts make it easy to provide illustrative examples of new writing skills. You don’t have to waste your time and money hunting down just the right book. Focused mini lessons and daily writing tasks simplify the writing process helping ALL students, even reluctant writers, experience success. Preprinted anchor charts make it easy to model new skills and engage in shared writing without wasting valuable time.

And best of all, my personal narrative writing unit makes writing fun for ALL your students – from reluctant writers to excited writers . The Student Success Path helps you identify where your students are on their writing journey and plan just-right lessons and interventions . Short, focused lessons keep students engaged. Simple, direct writing tasks help kids develop confidence. Conference materials, including outlines and topic cards, you can use to guide small group discussion make it easy for you to differentiate lessons.

Choice empowers students to write about things they care about and makes them more invested in their writing. And that’s a big deal because students who enjoy writing and get lots of practice perform better on standardized testing.

Plus, these materials are easy-to-use . Everything is organized in folders to help you find just what you need. A Quick Start Guide makes it simple to get started and provides tips on how to prep materials for long-term use.

The 2-week Starting Writing Workshop mini-unit will help you start your writing instruction on the right foot. Detailed teacher directions show you exactly how to use all the resources and activities.

How Our Writing Curriculum is Aligned with the Science of Reading :

Structured writing routine: Our writing curriculum is organized into 4 genres. Each 8-week unit is carefully structured, beginning with foundational skills before moving into more advanced skills. Students are taught a systematic approach to writing including: brainstorming, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing.
Explicit instruction: Daily lessons begin with explicit instruction including access to examples via mentor texts, modeling, and directed practice. Each skill is broken down into bite-size pieces so that students can learn one skill at a time. Students practice skills independently, working on one sentence or paragraph at a time.
Differentiation: Writing is differentiated through small group instruction that provides reteaching, additional practice, and support at appropriate levels.
Daily opportunities to write: The majority of the writing lesson is reserved for independent writing time, providing students with large blocks of time to write and practice skills every day.
Demonstrates the connection between reading and writing: Mentor texts provide concrete examples of writing skills and allow children to experiment with and apply sophisticated skills and language in their own writing. In addition, constructing their own writing pieces helps students recognize, connect, and understand these strategies when reading.

What’s Included:

Detailed teacher directions and suggestions for simple implementation
Unit-at-a-glance calendar for each unit
7 exclusive videos walking you through how to get the most out of these writing units
40 days of lesson plans that include guiding questions, materials, mini lessons, student work tasks, student share tasks, intervention, and several extension activities
14 original mentor text passages
24 personal narrative task cards
24 punctuating dialogue task cards
24 personal narrative writing prompts task cards
12 teacher anchor charts (blank and filled in versions)
Student anchor charts and printable for writing notebooks
Conference and goal tracking forms
Writing grades tracking forms
List of 12 additional mentor text books (Remember, using them is optional, because I’ve included all the mentor texts you need)
20 different writing publishing papers
Student writing notebook cover and dividers
Teacher notebook covers and binder spines
Multiple ideas for author share celebration
DIGITAL writing notebooks on Google Slides
Conferencing Materials – Conference outlines, a sample conference, and topic cards you can use to guide your small-group conferences
Student Success Path – Identify where your students are on their writing journey
Starting Writing Workshop Bonus – Two weeks of writing lesson plans to help build stamina and set your students up for writing success

Skills Covered:

Students learn h ow to write a small moment story with dialogue, a strong lead, interesting word choice, and paragraphs. Lessons include:

Setting goals
What is a personal narrative?
Generating story ideas
Narrowing your story idea to a small moment
Rehearsing and drafting
Writing a lead
Adding and punctuating dialogue
Adding details
Word choice
Show, don’t tell
Breaking writing into paragraphs
Transition words
Writing an ending

How to Use it in the Classroom:

A typical day of writing:.

I recommend you set aside thirty minutes for writing each day (or more if you have it). Check out the sample schedules below. Each day follows the same plan:

Mini Lesson (8-10 minutes): The day kicks off with a mini lesson to teach a particular skill. The mini-lesson uses mentor text (remember, it’s included in the unit) and anchor charts. For the teacher version of the anchor charts, you can project and fill them out with the class, or print and display them in your classroom. The student versions are smaller so they can fill them out and keep them in their writing notebooks for reference.
Work Time (18-20 minutes) : Students will apply the skill they just learned into their writing each day. The included writing tasks make it crystal-clear what to do during independent writing time–for you and your students. By the end of the unit, they will have completed two full masterpieces and many other independent writings.
Share Time (2 minutes) : Students are encouraged to share a piece of their writing with a partner or with the entire class. This makes writing more meaningful to kids and holds them accountable.

Organization made easy:

The personal narrative writing unit is organized into multiple folders and files so it’s easy for you to find what you need.
A 40-day daily schedule so you know exactly what to teach each day.
Detailed daily lesson plans make teaching writing easy.

Differentiation:

There are many ways to differentiate writing assignments:

Use the Student Success Path to identify where students are on their writing journey and use the suggested interventions to modify lessons.
These daily writing prompts are intentionally short and sweet so that all students, even those below grade level, can feel successful. Most tasks can be completed in 1-2 sentences.
More advanced writers can write longer responses, or work on a second masterpiece if they finish early.
Students can complete fewer task cards or work with a partner; you can also provide support to students as they work on task cards.
The process for teaching writing includes group conferencing time. These groups should be based on ability so that you can individualize your instruction to meet the specific needs of the group. Use the topic cards to guide your small group lessons.

Why you’ll love this writing unit:

You’ll save hours of prepping and planning time. The daily lesson plans are easy to implement. All you have to do is print and teach.
Mentor texts are included. You do not need to hunt down or purchase any additional books! (Unless you want to. Far be it from me to stand between a teacher and new books.)
Digital anchor charts project onto your white board-so you don’t have to be Picasso or Renoir to anchor your kids in the lesson.
Pre-printed student anchor charts make it easy for students to follow along without having to write every word and draw complicated diagrams.
Digital student notebooks are perfect for 1:1 classrooms and a great way to save paper.
These lessons work for all students, even students below grade level.
Task cards incorporate movement, reinforce concepts, and make learning fun. Daily share time encourages students to take pride in their writing.
Direct writing instruction provides a solid foundation of writing skills that leads to increased test scores.
Aligned with the Science of Reading.

*****************************

More Fourth Grade Writing Units:

Informational Writing for Fourth Grade

Opinion Writing for Fourth Grade

Fiction Narrative for Fourth Grade

Frequently Asked

Yes. I also have informational writing , opinion essay , and fiction narrative writing units available.

This personal narrative writing unit is available for grade 4. I also have personal narrative writing units available for grades two , three , and five .

I prefer composition notebooks because they are sturdy and easy to use and store. But other teachers have used spiral bound notebooks or three-ring binders.

Yes. These writing lessons are based on Common Core standards.

The lessons for consecutive grade levels are very similar because the standards are similar. The biggest difference is that the reading level on the mentor text passages is modified to meet the specific grade level. Other differences include new examples in the lesson plans and anchor charts and new task cards. It is generally fine to use units that are one level above or below grade level. You might want to select the lower grade level to ensure that the mentor texts are easier for students to read.

Each unit includes eight weeks of materials. I recommend spending 30-45 on writing each day. The lesson takes 8-10 minutes and the rest of the time would be used for independent writing.

Students complete two masterpieces in each unit. But they may work on additional pieces if they finish daily assignments early.

My writing units are a standalone curriculum. They are not based on or aligned with any other curriculum. However, they are based on the writing standards. My curriculum is organized into units of study and formatted in the workshop model and hundreds of teachers have successfully used my writing units with their district provided curriculum.

My writing units are a standalone curriculum. They are not based on or aligned with any other curriculum. With that being said, I have hundreds of teachers who have chosen to use my units as a supplement to their Lucy curriculum because it is more manageable and engaging for students.

Writing a Personal Narrative (Gr. 4)

Help your students tell their own stories!

Scott Foresman, an imprint of Pearson

Featured 4th grade resources.

Related Resources

57 Narrative Writing Prompts For 4th Grade

Journaling is an important part of self-exploration and deep thinking. Giving students a list of prompts to choose from allows them to choose which parts of themselves to explore, and helps keep their writing headed in a certain direction.

Below, you’ll find a list of narrative writing prompts to inspire your students to reflect on their thoughts and feelings.

Using These Prompts

Writing prompts are great because they give struggling writers a sense of direction, but they also help more skilled writers explore thoughts and feelings that they might not have thought of before.

Here are a few ways you can use these prompts in your classroom:

Challenge students to pick one or two prompts a day for an entire week.
Create a spinner using a cut-out circle and a paper clip, and have students spin to see which prompt they’re going to use.
Keep these prompts nearby for students to use when they have spare quiet time in class.
If you sense a student struggling emotionally, recommend using one of these prompts to help them reflect on these feelings.

The Writing Prompts

Describe your ideal field trip.
Write about a special memory that you will never forget.
Describe your style. Do your parents choose how you dress or do you choose your own clothes?
You wake up this morning with wings. Describe what happens next.
What kinds of books do you prefer to read? List some examples.
Write about a conflict you had with a friend. How did you resolve the situation?
Rewrite your favorite children’s story, but make the main character a superhero.
Describe the most frightening dream you’ve ever had.
How do you entertain yourself when you don’t have access to screens and devices?
Write about your favorite family tradition.
There’s a classroom in your school that is always locked with its lights off. One day, you walk by and the door is ajar. What happens next?
Write about a role model you have, and describe how they’ve affected your life.
Describe the ideal snow day.
Have you ever lost something important? What happened next?
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned this year?
Think of a time when you were very irritated. Explain why, and then explain how you resolved it.
What is the best part of the school day? Why?
What would you do if you were the principal for the day?
Write a story about someone who wakes up and realizes they’re microscopic.
Why is it important that people help others?
Describe something you’ve learned recently. Was it easy or difficult to learn?
Write a story from the point of view of someone meeting you for the first time.
Are you good at keeping secrets? Explain.
Describe a time when you stood up for yourself.
Describe a time when you stood up for someone else.
What is your favorite thing about your best friend?
Explain your favorite board or card game to someone who has never played it before.
Write your plans for the perfect weekend.
A harmless but wild animal wanders into your classroom. How does your class react? What happens next?
You wake up and realize that you can speak to your pet. What do you talk about?
Describe a time when you participated in a contest.
Write about the perfect summer day.
Tell a story about two people who switch jobs for a day.
Write about something that makes you laugh.
Why is patience important? Do you consider yourself a patient person?
Do you think boys and girls are actually different from each other? Explain.
Do you enjoy writing? What is your favorite thing to write about?
Write the story of how you met your best friend.
Describe what you hope your life is like 10 years from now.
Describe what you hope your life is like 20 years from now.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Explain.
The plant on your teacher’s desk suddenly sprouts a strange fruit. What is it? What happens next?
Do you have a funny or interesting story about losing a tooth? Write about it.
Write about a time when you shared a special meal with your family.
What would you do if you woke up tomorrow in your favorite video game?
If you were to describe your best friend as a color, what color would they be? Why?
What is your favorite food? Why do you like it?
What is something that you worry about at night?
Make a list of ten things you love about yourself.
Write a story from the point of view of your shoes.
Write about a time when you gave in to peer pressure.
Describe the last time you got hurt. What happened?
Tell a story about a time when you got caught doing something you weren’t supposed to.
Which person in your family are you most similar to? How are you alike? How are you different?
Describe a time when you felt embarrassed.
Invent a new sandwich. Write about how to make it, and try to convince others to try it.

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We’re here to help your classroom run more smoothly so you can spend more time shaping the minds of the future.

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Thrifty in Third Grade

By Cassie Smith - Teaching resources and blog posts for second, third, fourth, and fifth grade!

5 Hooks to Teach Your Students for Writing a Strong Introduction

When teaching my students how to write a personal narrative , I always teach them to start by writing a strong introduction, also known as an opening hook.

This can be anything from starting in the middle of the action, to asking a question, to giving a surprising fact.

The important thing is that it will make the reader want to keep reading to find out more!

Here Are 5 Of My Favorite Hooks for Writing a Strong Introduction to Narratives

1. jump right into the action.

Start with an exciting event that will make the reader want to read on.

No one wants to read about your main character waking up and brushing their teeth. Start with something exciting, like your character being chased by a pack of wild dogs or winning the big game.

2. Use vivid descriptions.

When you’re setting the scene or introducing your characters, be sure to use lots of detail.

What does the character look like? What are they wearing? What’s the temperature outside?

The more specific you can be, the better. Use sensory language (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) to really bring the scene to life for your reader.

You want them to feel like they are right there in the story with your character!

3. Ask a question.

Pose a question at the beginning of the story that will make the reader curious and want to find out the answer.

Asking a question is a great way to get your readers thinking about what’s to come. Will the character be able to outrun the dogs? Will they win the game?

By posing a question, you’ll keep your readers guessing and engaged.

4. Share an interesting fact.

Give a surprising fact related to your story that will make the reader want to keep reading to learn more.

This could be something about your character or the setting. Whatever it is, make sure it is something that will pique their curiosity.

5. Use sound effects.

Just like dialogue, using a sound effect can be a great way to start your story.

Sound effects are a great way to set the tone for your story and add an extra layer of excitement for your readers.

Imagine hearing the sound of barking dogs as you’re reading about someone being chased! This could be something as simple as a door slamming shut or glass breaking.

The important thing is that it draws the reader into your story and makes them want to know what happens next!

By using one of these opening hooks, you can pull your reader into your story and set the stage for an exciting adventure.

It’s always a good idea to use a mentor text, or personal narrative example when you are modeling this with your students.

READ MORE>>> Using Personal Narrative Examples While Teaching Writing

Now Practice Writing a Strong Introduction With Your Class and Make It Fun!

These are just a few of the ways that you can start your personal narrative with a bang!

After you read a story aloud with your class, model rewriting the introduction to the story!

This can be a fun activity to get your whole class involved in. Use the five different types of hooks mentioned above to write the new introductions.

Writing a Strong Introduction Poster: 5 Types of Hooks

Here’s an example of rewriting an intro to Jack and the Beanstalk. Can you name each type of hook?

“Magic beans? What are magic beans?”

The thick, green beanstalk stretched as high as I could see. I looked up, shielding my eyes from the bright sun and watched the beanstalk wind its way into the clouds.

“MOOOOOO!”

Did you know cows never sold for less than 100 coins? When I came home with five magic beans, my mom was not happy with me.

Here are the answers: 1. Start with a question. 2. Use vivid descriptions. 3. Sound Effect 4. Question/Interesting Fact

You can get help teaching your students to write personal narratives with our Grades 2-5 Personal Narrative Writing Units !

Looking for EXCITING narrative writing prompts? Get a list of 100 that your students will LOVE!

Learn 6 tips for teaching your students to write a personal narrative.

Meet Cassie

I’m Cassie Smith and I’m so glad you decided to stop by. I am passionate about creating engaging curriculum for teachers in grades K-5! I believe learning can be fun AND aligned to standards! Learn More

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Writing Bundle: Personal Narrative, Informational, Opinion & Fiction 4TH GRADE

What educators are saying

Products in this bundle (4), description.

This HUGE BUNDLE includes everything you need to teach, practice, and assess writing for the entire year! Students will complete four major units of study: personal narrative, informational reports, opinion essays, and fiction narratives .

My fourth grade writing bundle includes 4 ready-to-use writing units to help you teach personal narratives, informational reports, opinion essays, and fiction narratives with ease. Each done-for-you unit contains detailed lesson plans, mentor texts, anchor charts, student writing tasks, and rubrics –everything you need to be a capable, confident writing teacher with students who love to write.

If your students dread writing time more than meatloaf in the school cafeteria…I made this resource for them, too.

Teaching writing can be tough.

Teachers tell me that their district-provided writing curriculum is

too complicated.

Or worse, they don’t have any curriculum at all. Yikes!

But my fourth grade writing bundle makes teaching writing easy . This HUGE bundle takes all the guesswork out of teaching writing and gives you the tools you need to teach engaging and effective writing lessons without breaking a sweat.

This HUGE MONEY-SAVING bundle has EVERYTHING you need to effectively teach a full year of writing to students in the fourth grade , including 4 major units of study:

Personal Narrative: Students learn how to write a small moment story with dialogue, a strong lead, interesting word choice, and paragraphs.
Informational Reports: Students learn how to craft a strong lead, choose interesting details, write topic and concluding sentences, and structure paragraphs.
Opinion Essays: Students learn how to use supporting facts and reasons, write topic and concluding sentences, and structure paragraphs.
Fiction Narratives: Students learn how to write dialogue, paragraphs, and transitions, and how to create strong characters, a problem, and a solution!

That’s 32 weeks of done-for-you writing lessons and activities ! And all you have to do is print and teach . The lesson plans are that simple. Seriously.

And best of all, my writing bundle makes writing fun for your students. Short, focused lessons keep students engaged. Simple, direct writing tasks help kids develop confidence.

My writing bundles for grades 2-5 have received over 5000 reviews! So, if the thought of teaching writing leaves you more frazzled than a day with no wifi, this resource was made for YOU!!

How Our Writing Bundles are Aligned with the Science of Reading :

Structured writing routine: Our writing bundle is organized into 4 genres. Each 8-week unit is carefully structured, beginning with foundational skills before moving into more advanced skills. Students are taught a systematic approach to writing including: brainstorming, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing.
Explicit instruction: Daily lessons begin with explicit instruction including access to examples via mentor texts, modeling, and directed practice. Each skill is broken down into bite-size pieces so that students can learn one skill at a time. Students practice skills independently, working on one sentence or paragraph at a time.
Differentiation: Writing is differentiated through small group instruction that provides reteaching, additional practice, and support at appropriate levels.
Daily opportunities to write: The majority of the writing lesson is reserved for independent writing time, providing students with large blocks of time to write and practice skills every day.
Demonstrates the connection between reading and writing: Mentor texts provide concrete examples of writing skills and allow children to experiment with and apply sophisticated skills and language in their own writing. In addition, constructing their own writing pieces helps students recognize, connect, and understand these strategies when reading.

What’s Included:

Detailed teacher directions and suggestions for simple implementation
Unit-at-a-glance calendar for each unit
7 exclusive videos walking you through how to get the most out of these writing units
160 days of lesson plans that include guiding questions, materials, mini lessons, student work tasks, student share tasks, intervention, and several extension activities
55 original mentor text passages
10 sets of task cards
50 teacher anchor charts (blank and filled in versions)
57 student anchor charts and printables for writing notebooks
Conference and goal-tracking forms
Writing grades tracking forms
Rubrics for all four genres
List of 40 additional mentor text books (optional)
Variety of writing publishing papers
Student writing notebook covers and dividers
Teacher notebook covers and binder spines
Multiple ideas for author share celebrations
DIGITAL writing notebooks on Google Slides

Personal Narratives Students learn how to write a small moment story with dialogue, a strong lead, interesting word choice, and paragraphs. Lessons include:

Setting goals
What is a personal narrative?
Generating story ideas
Narrowing your story idea to a small moment
Rehearsing and drafting
Writing a lead
Adding and punctuating dialogue
Adding details
Word choice
Show, don’t tell
Breaking writing into paragraphs
Transition words
Writing an ending

Informational Reports Students learn how to craft a strong lead, choose interesting details, write topic and concluding sentences, and structure paragraphs. Lessons include:

What is an informational report?
Generating report ideas
Narrowing your report idea to a seed
Research and note taking
Paraphrasing
Table of contents
Topic and concluding sentences
Word choice- adding vocabulary and definitions
Transitions
Writing a conclusion
Text features

Opinion (Persuasive) Writing Students learn how to use supporting facts and reasons, write topic and concluding sentences, and structure paragraphs. Lessons Include:

What is an opinion essay?
Generating essay ideas
Writing strong opinion statements
Supporting your opinion with reasons
Considering your audience
Consider opposing opinions
Supporting your opinion with examples
Generating deeper topics (research-based)

Fiction Narratives Students learn how to write dialogue, paragraphs, and transitions, and how to create strong characters, a problem, and a solution! Lessons include:

What is a fiction narrative?
Developing characters
Developing setting (show-don’t-tell)
Problem & solution
Author's point of view
Creating suspense
Word choice (strong verbs)

How To Use the Writing Bundles in the Classroom

A typical day of writing:

I recommend you set aside thirty minutes for writing each day (or more if you have it). Check out the sample schedules below. Each day follows the same plan:

Mini-Lesson (8-10 minutes): The day kicks off with a mini-lesson to teach a particular skill. The mini-lesson uses mentor text (remember, it’s included in the unit) and anchor charts. For the teacher version of the anchor charts, you can project and fill them out with the class, or print and display them in your classroom. The student versions are smaller so they can fill them out and keep them in their writing notebooks for reference.
Work Time (18-20 minutes) : Students will apply the skill they just learned into their writing each day. The included writing tasks make it crystal-clear what to do during independent writing time–for you and your students. By the end of the unit, they will have completed two full masterpieces and many other independent writings.
Share Time (2 minutes) : Students are encouraged to share a piece of their writing with a partner or with the entire class. This makes writing more meaningful to kids and holds them accountable.

Organization made easy:

The Writing Bundles are divided into 4 units of study: personal narrative, informational report, opinion essay, and fiction narrative which each comes in its own unit folder.
Each unit folder is further organized into multiple folders and files so it’s easy for you to find what you need.
Each unit comes with a daily schedule so you know exactly what to teach each day.
Detailed daily lesson plans make teaching writing easy.

Differentiation:

There are many ways to differentiate writing assignments:

These daily writing prompts are intentionally short and sweet so that all students, even those below grade level, can feel successful. Most tasks can be completed in 1-2 sentences.
More advanced writers can write longer responses, or work on a second masterpiece if they finish early.
Students can complete fewer task cards or work with a partner; you can also provide support to students as they work on task cards.
The process for teaching writing includes group conferencing time. These groups should be based on ability so that you can individualize your instruction to meet the specific needs of the group.

❤️❤️ Why You’ll Love These Writing Bundles! ❤️❤️

You’ll save hours of prepping and planning time. The daily lesson plans are easy to implement. All you have to do is print and teach.
Mentor texts are included. You do not need to hunt down or purchase any additional books! (Unless you want to. Far be it from me to stand between a teacher and new books.)
Digital anchor charts project onto your white board-so you don’t have to be Picasso or Renoir to anchor your kids in the lesson.
Pre-printed student anchor charts make it easy for students to follow along without having to write every word and draw complicated diagrams.
Digital student notebooks are perfect for 1:1 classrooms and a great way to save paper.
These lessons work for all students, even students below grade level.
Task cards incorporate movement, reinforce concepts, and make learning fun. Daily share time encourages students to take pride in their writing.
Direct writing instruction provides a solid foundation of writing skills that leads to increased test scores.
Aligned with the Science of Reading.

“BEST RESOURCE I’VE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!!!!! PERFECTION!!!!!!!!! You get it. You get what I need! You get what writing workshop is REALLY like! You get that the mini-lessons need to be MINI! You get what a 3rd grader can handle in one lesson. You get that a teacher doesn’t have time to read a 6-page lesson plan in a teacher’s edition. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!” – Kristen K.

Q: In what order do you teach these units?

A: After much experimenting, I found the following order worked with my class:

1. Personal narrative - It's a great way to get to know your class

2. Informational - Learning how to write this way helps in science and social studies throughout the year

3. Opinion - This goes well after informational because some opinions need research

4. Narrative - It's a fun way to end the year.

But the units do not build off of one another. They can be taught in any order that works for you and your students.

Q: Does this bundle include all four writing genres?

A: Yes. These writing bundles include personal narrative, informational report, opinion essay, and fiction writing units.

Q: Does this bundle include all four grade levels?

A: I have separate writing bundles for grades two, three, four, and five. When you purchase a bundle you will get four writing genres for one grade level. Each grade level is a separate resource.

Q: What kind of notebooks do you prefer students to choose?

A: I prefer composition notebooks because they are sturdy and easy to use and store. But other teachers have used spiral-bound notebooks or three-ring binders.

Q: Are these writing lessons based on common core standards?

A: Yes. These writing lessons are based on common core standards.

Q: What grade level bundle should I buy if I teach a combo class? Do I need to purchase both grade levels or can I use one grade level for both grades?

A: The lessons for consecutive grade levels are very similar because the standards are similar. The biggest difference is that the reading level on the mentor text passages is modified to meet the specific grade level. Other differences include new examples in the lesson plans and anchor charts and new task cards. It is generally fine to use units that are one level above or below grade level. You might want to select the lower grade level to ensure that the mentor texts are easier for students to read.

Q: How much time do you need to teach these lessons?

A: Each unit includes eight weeks of materials. I recommend spending 30-45 on writing each day. The lesson takes 8-10 minutes and the rest of the time would be used for independent writing.

Q: How many writing pieces do students write in each unit?

A: Students complete two masterpieces in each unit. But they may work on additional pieces if they finish daily assignments early.

Q: My school requires me to use a certain curriculum. Will your writing units align?

A: My writing units are a standalone curriculum. They are not based on or aligned with any other curriculum. However, they are based on the writing standards. My curriculum is organized into units of study and formatted in the workshop model and hundreds of teachers have successfully used my writing units with their district-provided curriculum.

Q: I am very interested in your writing bundle, but we have to teach Lucy Calkins. Can I use your materials to support the Lucy method?

A: My writing units are a standalone curriculum. They are not based on or aligned with any other curriculum. With that being said, I have hundreds of teachers who have chosen to use my units as a supplement to their Lucy curriculum because it is more manageable and engaging for students.

This bundle includes the following units:

Personal Narrative

Informational

Fiction Narrative

Writing Units for Other Grade Levels:

Second Grade Writing Bundle

Third Grade Writing Bundle

Fifth Grade Writing Bundle

More Mini writing units:

Compare and Contrast Nonfiction

Compare and Contrast Fiction

Text Dependent Opinion

Reading Response

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Personal Essay

Essay writing are compositions which basically includes a general idea or an in depth discussion of a particular subjects or topics. They are commonly written as non-fictional pieces which carry the writer’s point of view on a certain topic of his/her choice or interest.

In schools, teachers often assign students how to write an essay composition about different topics, usually in order to assess their writing skills. There are different essay types, which can be written using the standard structure (introduction, body, and conclusion), and through different writing styles.

What Is a Personal Essay? A personal essay, in the broadest sense, is a written composition which contains information and personal opinions about a specific individual (usually famous and influential individuals). It is one of the most common essays given as an assignment to students of different levels. In some cases, a personal essay (at times known as a personal statement ) may include the writer’s personal information, as a requirement for an application. They may be used as basis whether to grant an individual’s application or not.

Personal Essay Format

Introduction.

Hook : Begin with a compelling sentence to grab the reader’s attention. This could be an intriguing question, a surprising fact, or a bold statement related to your story. Background Information : Provide some context to your story. This might include the setting, the circumstances leading up to your narrative, or key characters involved. Thesis Statement : Conclude the introduction with a clear thesis statement that presents the main theme or lesson of your essay.

Body Paragraphs

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Use the following structure for each body paragraph:

Topic Sentence : Start with a sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Evidence and Examples : Use personal experiences, anecdotes, or reflections to support your point. Be descriptive to help the reader visualize and feel your experiences. Analysis : Explain how these examples support your thesis. Connect your personal story to larger themes or universal truths. Transition : End with a sentence that smoothly transitions to the next paragraph.

Summary : Begin your conclusion by restating your thesis in a new way, summarizing the key points you made in your essay. Reflection : Share what you’ve learned from your experiences. Reflect on the growth or change that occurred as a result. Closing Thought : End with a final thought or call to action that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. This could be a question, a prediction, a hope, or a call to personal reflection.

Example of Personal Essay

My Journey Through Silence: Finding My Voice It was in the quietest moments that I discovered the loudest parts of myself. Growing up with a stutter, I navigated a world that often felt like it was designed for everyone but me. Conversations were minefields, and every word was a battle. Yet, it was through this journey of silence and struggle that I found my true voice, not just as a speaker, but as a person with something valuable to say. My stutter was more than a speech impediment; it was a barrier to my identity. In school, I avoided speaking at all costs. Presentations were nightmares, and group discussions were silent movies in which I played the mute protagonist. This silence, however, became my loudest cry for self-expression. I turned to writing, where words flowed unimpeded. Writing became my refuge, but it also set the stage for a greater transformation. The turning point came when I was asked to write a speech for a community event. Faced with the daunting task of not only writing but delivering it, I felt the familiar cloak of fear. But the message I wanted to share was louder than my fears. Standing on that stage, stuttering yet undeterred, I realized my voice’s power didn’t come from its fluency but from the truth it carried. That moment marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life. The journey from silence to expression taught me the value of listening. I learned to listen not only to the words of others but to the unspoken messages in their pauses, their breaths, and their eyes. This deepened empathy and understanding fueled my desire to advocate for those who, like me, struggled to be heard. My personal battle had evolved into a broader mission. My stutter, once a source of shame, became my greatest teacher. It taught me the power of perseverance, the art of listening, and the value of voice. I’ve learned that our imperfections are not limitations but invitations to find unique paths to self-expression. In finding my voice, I discovered that the most profound conversations often start in silence. And it is in embracing our vulnerabilities that we find our true strength. This journey of overcoming, learning, and ultimately embracing my stutter has not only shaped my identity but has also shown me the universal power of resilience and the beauty of human connection through vulnerability.

Personal Essay for Students

Embracing Change: My First Year in High School Starting high school was a monumental change in my life. It was a blend of excitement and anxiety, stepping into a world that seemed so vast and unknown. I had always heard that high school was where you found yourself, where lifelong friendships were formed, and where the future started to take shape. My journey through the first year of high school taught me about adaptability, resilience, and discovering my own path. The summer before high school, I oscillated between dreaming about the independence it would bring and fearing the challenges of new academic pressures and social dynamics. The thought of navigating a larger school with students from different backgrounds and the pressure to perform well academically loomed large. Yet, there was this underlying current of excitement about joining clubs, exploring new subjects, and the chance to redefine myself. The first day was a whirlwind of emotions. The hallways were bustling with students, and the air was thick with anticipation. I remember feeling like a small fish in a big pond, surrounded by unfamiliar faces and the daunting task of finding my classrooms. It was overwhelming, but there was a sense of adventure in not knowing what each day would bring. Adapting to the academic rigor of high school was challenging. The workload was heavier, and the expectations were higher than I was accustomed to. I learned the hard way that procrastination was my enemy. Balancing homework, extracurricular activities, and personal time became a juggling act. It was during these times that I discovered the importance of time management and setting priorities. I also learned to ask for help when I needed it, whether it was from teachers or classmates, which was a humbling and educational experience in itself. Socially, high school was a maze. Finding where I fit in was not immediate or easy. I joined clubs and sports teams to meet people with similar interests, which helped me form friendships. Some of these friendships fizzled out, while others grew stronger, teaching me about the qualities I valued in friendships and in myself. It was a time of self-discovery, of figuring out my interests, beliefs, and values. One of the most significant lessons from my first year was learning to embrace change. Change was constant, whether it was adapting to new teachers’ styles, the evolving dynamics of friendships, or my own personal growth. I learned that change wasn’t something to fear but to embrace as an opportunity for growth. It taught me resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks and to keep moving forward, even when things didn’t go as planned. Reflecting on my first year of high school, I realize it was a year of growth, challenges, and invaluable lessons. It was the beginning of understanding who I am and who I want to become. High school is a journey of transformation, and my first year laid the foundation for the rest of my high school experience. It taught me that while change is inevitable, how I respond to it is within my control. This realization has empowered me to face the future with optimism and an open heart, ready for whatever comes my way.

Personal Essay about Yourself

A Tapestry of Memories: My Story Life, in its essence, is a collection of moments, each thread in the tapestry of our existence weaving a unique story. My story is one of resilience, curiosity, and the relentless pursuit of passion, marked by moments of triumph and trials that have shaped me into who I am today. Born into a family that valued education and hard work above all, I was taught from a young age that the pursuit of knowledge was not just a journey but a responsibility. My childhood was filled with books and the encouragement to question, explore, and dream. This instilled in me a deep-seated love for learning, whether it was understanding the mechanics behind a toy car or unraveling the mysteries of the stars. My parents, my first and forever teachers, nurtured this curiosity, teaching me that every question had an answer and every problem a solution. However, life has its way of testing our mettle. During my teenage years, I faced a significant health challenge that threatened to derail my academic and personal life. Days in the hospital and long periods of recovery became my routine, turning my world upside down. This period was a crucible, testing my resilience and forcing me to find strength I never knew I had. It was a stark reminder of the fragility of life but also a powerful lesson in perseverance. I learned to adapt, to find joy in the smallest of victories, and to keep moving forward, even when the path was obscured by uncertainty. My passion for learning transformed into a love for writing as I navigated through these trials. Writing became my solace, a way to express the whirlwind of emotions and to document my journey through recovery. It was through this medium that I discovered my voice and the power of storytelling. Writing allowed me to step outside my circumstances and to see my story as part of a larger narrative of hope and resilience. It became a catalyst for my recovery, offering a sense of purpose and direction. As I emerged from this challenging chapter, my perspective on life had irrevocably changed. I realized that our experiences, both good and bad, are not just isolated incidents but stepping stones in our journey of personal growth. This realization fueled my desire to make a difference, to use my experiences and my voice to inspire others facing their own battles. Today, I stand as a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of curiosity, and the strength found in vulnerability. My journey has taught me that while we cannot control every aspect of our lives, we can choose how we respond to the challenges we face. I have chosen to face mine with optimism, courage, and an unwavering commitment to growth. In sharing my story, I hope to light a spark in others, to encourage them to embrace their own journeys with courage and to remind them that they are not alone in their struggles. Life is an intricate tapestry of memories, and each of us has a unique story to tell. My story is one of countless threads in the vast tapestry of human experience, a reminder that our stories, in all their complexity and beauty, are what truly make us who we are.

Personal Essay Ideas & Topics with Samples to Edit & Download

How do you handle fear
My best friend essay
The impact of family traditions
A place you try to avoid
An event that changed your life
Childhood memories
Describe a person you admire
Had a Dream Come True
How do you make hard decisions
The best moment of your life
What is a book you love
Your bravest moment
A row with my peers
What makes you proud

Personal Essay Examples & Templates

Personal narrative essay template.

Personal Interview Essay Template

Personal Reflective Essay Template

Scholarship Personal Sample

studyabroad.wisc.edu

Personal Narrative

msmcclure.com

Nursing Essay Example

ukessays.com

Personal Descriptive

factmonster.com

Personal Reflective Example

tailoredessays.com

Short Personal Essay

zimbardo.com

Personal Experience

essaylib.com

Statement Essay Sample

ibabbleon.com

Importance of a Personal Essay

Essays, in general, covers different topics. A personal essay may discuss about prominent people or the writer himself/herself. Like other essays, a personal essay is basically written to inform the readers. You may also see tips for writing an effective essay .

Writing a conclusion for essay helps a writer practice the expression of personal opinion. It also helps in improving the writer’s skill in communicating with the readers. Because a personal essay is a mixture of facts and opinions on a particular matter, the readers may be able to learn about such topic while at the same time learning about the writer’s opinion.

In an application writing , a personal essay can help an individual inform the admission committee about his/her qualifications for a certain job or school admission.

How to Write Personal Essay

Writing a personal essay is a journey into your own experiences, emotions, and insights. It’s an opportunity to share your story, reflect on your life’s events, and express your unique perspective. Here’s a comprehensive guide to crafting a compelling personal essay.

1. Choose Your Topic

Reflect on Your Experiences : Think about moments in your life that have shaped who you are. These can be milestones, challenges, triumphs, or even everyday occurrences that hold special meaning.
Identify Your Message : Determine the insight or message you want to convey through your story. What do you want the reader to learn or feel?

2. Create an Outline

Introduction : Start with a hook to grab the reader’s attention, followed by a brief overview of the story you will tell. Conclude with a thesis statement that encapsulates the main theme of your essay.
Body Paragraphs : Outline each paragraph with a main idea that supports your thesis. Include specific details, experiences, and reflections.
Conclusion : Plan to tie your narrative together, restate your thesis in a new light, and leave the reader with something to think about.

3. Write with Authenticity and Emotion

Be Honest : Authenticity resonates with readers. Share your true thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Show, Don’t Tell : Use descriptive language to show the reader what happened and how it affected you. Include sensory details to bring your story to life.

4. Structure Your Essay

Introduction : Begin with an engaging hook. Provide background information and introduce the central theme or question of your essay.
Body Paragraphs : Each paragraph should focus on a specific event or aspect of your story. Use transitions to smoothly connect ideas and maintain flow.
Conclusion : Reflect on the story and its implications. Highlight how the experiences have shaped you or changed your perspective.

5. Edit and Revise

Take a Break : After writing your first draft, take some time away from it. This will help you return with a fresh perspective.
Read Aloud : Reading your essay out loud can help you catch awkward phrasing and grammatical errors.
Seek Feedback : Share your essay with trusted friends or mentors. Constructive feedback can offer new insights and help improve your writing.
Revise : Focus on clarity, coherence, and conciseness. Ensure each sentence serves a purpose and supports your thesis.

6. Pay Attention to the Details

Follow Guidelines : If you’re writing for a specific purpose (like a college application), make sure to follow any given instructions or word limits.
Check Grammar and Spelling : Use tools or have someone proofread your essay to catch any mistakes.

7. Reflect on Your Growth

A personal essay is not just about recounting events; it’s about showing how those events have led to personal growth or a change in perspective. Reflect on what you’ve learned and how you’ve changed.

8. Conclusion

Writing a personal essay is an opportunity to delve into your own story and share it with the world. It requires introspection, honesty, and a willingness to be vulnerable. By following these steps, you can craft an essay that not only tells your story but also touches the hearts and minds of your readers. Remember, the most powerful essays come from a place of truth and a desire to communicate genuinely.

What are the Essential Elements of Personal Essay

1. a clear theme or thesis.

Every personal essay should have a central theme or thesis that guides the narrative. This theme is the essay’s underlying message or insight that you wish to convey to your readers. It should be evident throughout the essay, providing coherence and unity to your story.

2. A Strong Opening

The opening of your essay should immediately engage the reader. It can be a provocative question, a striking anecdote, a vivid description, or an intriguing statement. The goal is to pique the reader’s interest and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

3. Personal Experience and Anecdotes

The heart of a personal essay lies in the author’s experiences. Detailed anecdotes and personal stories not only make the essay relatable but also help to illustrate the essay’s main theme. These narratives should be vivid, descriptive, and emotive, allowing readers to see through the author’s eyes.

4. Authentic Voice

A personal essay should reflect the unique voice and personality of the author. It’s an opportunity to express yourself in a personal and intimate manner. Your voice should be consistent throughout the essay, giving readers a sense of who you are.

5. Reflective Insight

Beyond narrating events, a personal essay should delve into what these experiences mean to the author. It involves analyzing events, drawing lessons, and reflecting on the impact these have had on your life or perspective. This reflective insight differentiates a personal essay from mere storytelling.

6. Emotional Resonance

Emotional resonance helps to connect with the reader on a deeper level. By sharing feelings, vulnerabilities, and personal struggles, you invite the reader into your world. The ability to evoke empathy or emotional response is a powerful tool in personal essays.

7. A Thoughtful Conclusion

The conclusion of a personal essay should not only wrap up the narrative but also leave the reader with something to ponder. It could be a reflection on the journey, insights gained, or questions raised by the essay. A strong conclusion reinforces the essay’s theme and echoes the emotional or intellectual impact of your story.

8. Clear, Concise Language

While personal essays are expressive, they also benefit from clear, concise language. Avoid overly complex sentences or unnecessary jargon. The goal is to communicate your story and insights in an accessible and engaging manner.

9. Craftsmanship in Writing

Attention to the craft of writing—such as the use of vivid imagery, metaphorical language, and a well-structured narrative—can significantly enhance the impact of a personal essay. It’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters.

Tips and Guidelines in Writing a Personal Essay

A personal essay can be written for different purposes. An effectively written personal essay has the ability to inform the readers, while at the same time, inspiring them. In writing a personal essay (or essay examples in doc ), a writer must keep the following things in mind.

1. Pick a topic.

Choose a topic that is both timely and significant in your area. Your life story can also be considered as a great topic in writing your personal essay. You may also see personal essay examples & samples.

2. Determine the focus.

You cannot cover everything, so find an angle which you can focus on.

3. Know the purpose.

See if you can satisfy your purpose in writing your composition.

4. Create an outline.

Essay Outlines provide a better division and organization of ideas. This gives the writer a direction on what to focus on.

5. Write the draft.

With a draft, you will be able to write without hesitations or restrictions.

6. Provide the facts.

Research on the topic you want to write about and provide the facts. You may also like samples of formal essays .

7. Share your opinions.

Share what you think about the topic.

8. Be consistent.

Remain focused on your topic throughout your whole composition.

9. Write simply and briefly.

Using simple language will enable you to explain your topic clearly, at the same time helping you to effectively shorten your sentences and paragraph. You may also check out analytical essay examples & samples.

10. Edit your essay.

Improve your short essay by rechecking and reviewing for errors.

Personal Essay Generator

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Write a Personal Essay on a life-changing experience.

Discuss a moment of failure and what you learned from it in your Personal Essay.

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

Essay 1: Summer Program
Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
Essay 3: Why Medicine
Essay 4: Love of Writing
Essay 5: Starting a Fire
Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
Essay 9: Eritrea
Essay 10: Journaling
Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally.

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read.

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.” They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great.

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day?

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture.

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality.

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration.

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars.

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”. They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in.

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite.

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin.

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents.

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate, perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells. Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is. No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted dunes. No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother, her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes). It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time. You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells. I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero . I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic. “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.” Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential. Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader.

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay.

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Personal Experience Narrative Sample- Grade 4
Grade 4 Sample. Summarizing Framework. This is a story about me. The experience was competing in a basketball game against the Longhorns. The experience concluded when the game was over and my team lost . What worked: This is a focused narrative with all elements of the diamond included: Entertaining Beginning: There is a sense of story with a ...
15 Inspiring Personal Narrative Examples for Writers
This 4th grade essay uses personal details to bring a beloved friend to life. Read the full essay: Ann at Thoughtful Learning. Middle School Personal Narrative Examples. By middle school, personal narratives are longer and more involved, telling more detailed stories and experiences. These middle school personal narrative essay examples model ...
Narrative Writing: Personal Narrative Unit Introduction
Students will come together as a community of writers by: Developing writing stamina in a productive, quiet writing space. Collaborating and responding respectfully and thoughtfully. Understanding where writers get their ideas (i.e. notebooks, conversations, personal experiences, mentor texts, etc.)
4th Grade Essay Writing Worksheets & Free Printables
Worksheet. Household Chores: Opinion Writing Exercise. Worksheet. Crafting Imagery. Worksheet. Respond to Art: Opinion & Evidence #2. Worksheet. 1 2. Our fourth grade essay writing worksheets will help students write their own tickets for success with different text types.
Personal Experience Narrative Sample- Grade 4- Snowed
Personal Experience Narrative. Grade 4 Sample. Snowed. Summarizing Framework. This is a story about Danny and me. The experience was playing in the snow. The experience concluded when the boys were so cold they went inside . What worked: Organization: There is a sense of story with a beginning, middle, and end.
4th grade nonfiction writing samples
Fourth grade writing sample #4. Zoos Should Close. This student writes an opinion piece about why she thinks zoos should close. Note that she cites multiple reasons with examples of why zoos aren't good for animals. She also addresses a counterargument and refutes it, which isn't actually required until seventh and eighth grade.
Personal narrative writing worksheets
Organize then write. Students are prompted to write a personal narrative using a graphic organizer to plan their text. Worksheet #1 Worksheet #2 Worksheet #3 Worksheet #4 Worksheet #5 Worksheet #6. Worksheet #7 Worksheet #8 Worksheet #9 Worksheet 10.
Narrative Writing Prompts for 4th Grade: 51 Great Ideas
Write about a time when you helped someone complete a task. 17. Describe a time when you participated in the school's science fair. 18. Share a story about a time that you assisted your parents in preparing dinner. 19. Tell what you like most and least about responding to narrative writing prompts for 4th grade students. 20.
Personal Narrative Writing Unit FOURTH GRADE
Add to Wish List. $25.00 - Add to Cart. Grade Level: 4th Grade. My fourth grade personal narrative writing unit includes 8 weeks of done-for-you writing lessons about how to write a small moment story. This unit contains detailed lesson plans, mentor texts, anchor charts, student writing tasks, and rubrics-everything you need to be a ...
Writing a Personal Narrative Printable (4th Grade)
Help your students tell their own stories! Use this printable writing packet to teach students how to write a personal narrative paragraph. A model story organizer, a blank story organizer, and a personal narrative at four different stages of completion are provided. Incorporate into your class lesson or use as a homework assignment. Authored by:
Using Personal Narrative Examples While Teaching Writing in 3rd, 4th
Pictured above: A poster teaching the characteristics of a personal narrative and a personal narrative rubric. (From: Grades 2-5 Personal Narrative Writing Units) READ MORE>>> 5 Hooks to Teach Your Students for Writing Strong Introductions READ MORE>>> 6 Easy Tips for Teaching Personal Narrative Writing (Small Moment Graphic Organizer) Step 2: Introduce the Rubric and a Checklist
57 Narrative Writing Prompts For 4th Grade
57 Narrative Writing Prompts For 4th Grade. Journaling is an important part of self-exploration and deep thinking. Giving students a list of prompts to choose from allows them to choose which parts of themselves to explore, and helps keep their writing headed in a certain direction. Below, you'll find a list of narrative writing prompts to ...
PDF Personal Essay: Grade 4 Writing Unit 2
T. Personal Essay: Grade 4 Writing Unit 2. Note• Post on the daily schedule or verbally ask students to bring their writer's notebook and a pencil to the meeting area. Connection• Remind students that they have been studying narrative texts to determine the important ideas and generate their own possible essay ideas.
Student Writing Models
Student Models. When you need an example written by a student, check out our vast collection of free student models. Scroll through the list, or search for a mode of writing such as "explanatory" or "persuasive.".
5 Hooks to Teach Your Students for Writing a Strong Introduction
4. Share an interesting fact. Give a surprising fact related to your story that will make the reader want to keep reading to learn more. This could be something about your character or the setting. Whatever it is, make sure it is something that will pique their curiosity. 5. Use sound effects.
Writing Bundle: Personal Narrative, Informational, Opinion & Fiction
Description. This HUGE BUNDLE includes everything you need to teach, practice, and assess writing for the entire year! Students will complete four major units of study: personal narrative, informational reports, opinion essays, and fiction narratives. My fourth grade writing bundle includes 4 ready-to-use writing units to help you teach ...
Personal Essay
A personal essay is not just about recounting events; it's about showing how those events have led to personal growth or a change in perspective. Reflect on what you've learned and how you've changed. 8. Conclusion. Writing a personal essay is an opportunity to delve into your own story and share it with the world.
10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked
Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders. Essay 8: Becoming a Coach.
Personal Essay Examples 4th Grade
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4th Grade Personal Essay Examples
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Personal Essay Sample Fourth Grade
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4th Grade Personal Essay Examples
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15 Inspiring Personal Narrative Examples for Writers

What is a personal narrative?

Elementary School Personal Narrative Examples

The Horrible Day

Keep an Eye on the Sky!

Grandpa, Chaz, and Me

Surviving an Embarrassing Situation

“Do you have a friend who loves you?” —Kendra, 4th grade student

Middle School Personal Narrative Examples

“As thoughts of certain death run through my mind, the world appears a precious, treasured place.” —Amy, student

The Best Friend Question

The Racist Warehouse

“For the first time, we realized that we didn’t know how to express our voice, and we always suppressed it.” —Jocelyn C., 7th grade student, Texas

An Eight Pound Rival

High School Personal Narrative Examples

Sorry, Wrong Number

Caught in the Net

Nothing Extraordinary

The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

What a Black Woman Wishes Her Adoptive White Parents Knew

Do you use personal narrative examples as mentor texts in your classroom? Come share your experiences and ask for advice in the We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook !

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Personal Experience Narrative Sample- Grade 4- Snowed

4th grade nonfiction writing samples

Informative/explanatory writing

Opinion pieces

Fourth grade writing sample #1

Fourth grade writing sample #2

Fourth grade writing sample #3

Fourth grade writing sample #4

Homes Nearby

Writing on the wall

Personal narrative writing for grade 4

Personal Narrative Writing Unit FOURTH GRADE

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How Our Writing Curriculum is Aligned with the Science of Reading :

What’s Included:

Skills Covered:

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Organization made easy:

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Writing a Personal Narrative (Gr. 4)

Help your students tell their own stories!

Scott Foresman, an imprint of Pearson

Related Resources

57 Narrative Writing Prompts For 4th Grade

Using These Prompts

The Writing Prompts

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Student Models

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Narrative Writing

Creative Writing

Research Writing

Response to Literature

Persuasive Writing

Business Writing

Personal Writing

5 Hooks to Teach Your Students for Writing a Strong Introduction

Here Are 5 Of My Favorite Hooks for Writing a Strong Introduction to Narratives

2. Use vivid descriptions.

3. Ask a question.

4. Share an interesting fact.

5. Use sound effects.

Now Practice Writing a Strong Introduction With Your Class and Make It Fun!

Here’s an example of rewriting an intro to Jack and the Beanstalk. Can you name each type of hook?

You can get help teaching your students to write personal narratives with our Grades 2-5 Personal Narrative Writing Units !

Looking for EXCITING narrative writing prompts? Get a list of 100 that your students will LOVE!

Learn 6 tips for teaching your students to write a personal narrative.

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Writing Bundle: Personal Narrative, Informational, Opinion & Fiction 4TH GRADE

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