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Wedding Reception Ideas

39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing

Plus, tips on writing and delivering a humorous speech that won't come off as a roast.

Photo by Abby Jiu Photography

In This Article

If you've been asked to give a wedding toast , it's important to recognize what a big deal this is. The couple must think very highly of you if they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of everyone they love on such a special day. Now that you recognize what a tremendous honor this is, you might be feeling a bit nervous about your new role as reception orator. Where should you begin planning your speech?

The most important thing to know about wedding speeches —whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or a parent—is that the best ones are both heartfelt and humorous. Another key feature of a perfect toast? It should be under five minutes. Now that you have the length down, you can start penning your toast by doing a deep-dive into your own memories of and feelings about the couple. For most people, those heartfelt bits come easily. It's the other half of the speech—the funny half—that tends to be tough to write. After all, coming up with zingers isn't a skill that we all naturally possess. So, to help you out in the laughs department, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes below.

Feel free to borrow with abandon and mix them up as needed—whatever it takes to make your speech really shine!

Photo by Twah Dougherty Photography

Funny Wedding Toast Ideas

Whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or groom, these one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some chuckles.

"What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!"
"May your children be blessed with rich parents."
"The couple asked that I don't share any embarrassing stories today... so that's it for me! Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you."
"Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory."
"May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom."
"Our happy couple really struggled to find someone to give a speech today. They asked their most attractive friend first, and they said no. Then they asked their smartest friend, who also said no. After that, they went to their funniest friend, and the answer was still no. So then they asked me, and I couldn't turn them down for a fourth time!"
"Remember: In life there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox—duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck."
"May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
"May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall."
"As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
"Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!"
"Let me leave you with one piece of advice. Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: They also chose you. Cheers!"
"Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?"
"The couple has amazing taste, don't you think? I mean, we can all agree that they did choose the absolute best speaker tonight!"
"May the most you wish for be the least you get."
"May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."

Photo by Jose Villa

Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast

Use these humorous bits to offer the newlyweds wisdom and advice with a wink in your toast.

"The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
"We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
"Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash." — Dr. Joyce Brothers
"Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason
"A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." — Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." — Charles Schulz
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger
"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
"If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married." — Unknown
"Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." — Unknown
"If at first you don’t succeed...try doing it the way your wife told you." — Unknown
"Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally
"The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." — Mac MacGuff in Juno
"A man is incomplete until he's married. After that, he's finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Love is sharing your popcorn." — Charles Schultz
"Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." — George Burns
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
"Love is a lot like dancing; you just surrender to the music." — Pierce Brosnan

While quotes are great, keeping your wedding toasts personal or even providing quotes you remember from the couple getting married is always a good choice.

Photo by Les Loups

Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast

A funny wedding toast is a great way to keep everyone engaged; guests (especially after a few drinks at cocktail hour) don't always have the best attention spans for long, emotional speeches. A toast that's light, short, and appropriately funny is the recipe for one attendees will remember—and for all the right reasons. Just be sure to follow a few important tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a funny wedding toast.

Avoid too many inside jokes.

Have you ever been out with a group of friends and experienced everyone laughing about something that makes absolutely no sense to you? If so, you know that there's no worse feeling than being on the outside of an inside joke. While it's perfectly fine to include a few lines that make sense to just a few people in attendance, it's important to ensure that the vast majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list.

Don't poke fun at the happy couple.

Remember that this is a toast, not a roast. It's best to be humorous but not mean-spirited or cruel. You want guests to laugh with you instead of at the happy couple, so avoid anything that feels as though you're mocking the newlyweds. Sharing funny stories and musings is a better course of action than retelling every embarrassing story you know about the bride or groom.

Be sure to strike the right balance between funny and serious.

While you don't have to pair every funny line with something more sentimental, it is nice to ensure there's a good mix of content in your speech. Balance all that (tasteful) humor with more serious sentiments—how much you love the couple, what their bond has taught you about happy relationships, and your hopes and dreams for their long, happy future together—and you've got a guaranteed hit.

Have someone else vet it.

Who can forget that scene in Wedding Crashers where Rachel McAdams thinks she's written the world's funniest speech and Owen Wilson kindly tells her to speak from the heart instead? While you might think you've penned a winner, it's best to let someone you trust weigh in before you take it to the crowd. Be open-minded about their feedback and willing to adjust if they note any major red flags.

Practice, practice, practice.

Your speech might be rock solid, but if you're tripping over every word or rushing through what you've written, guests will never know how great it is. Though definitely don't have to memorize it, you should practice it a few times through to make sure there are no clunky phrases or tough to pronounce words. Nail your timing and make sure you give your jokes a little breathing room for laughs, too.

10 Classic Wedding Speech Jokes that Work Again & Again

People raising glasses during toast at wedding

Love them or hate them, jokes are at the heart of any good wedding speech. And whether you’re the master of ceremonies, the groom, best man, maid of honor, or father of the bride, it never hurts to kick off your wedding toast with a knee-slapper.

Of course, since no one is expecting you to become a professional stand-up comedian overnight, it’s okay to turn to some tried-and-true wedding speech jokes. So here are some of the best-ever wedding jokes to roast the newlyweds before you toast them!

Want to make everyone in the room laugh during your speech? Check out these 10 classic wedding speech jokes that work again & again & again.

#10: Leave ‘Em Wanting More

Leave it to our longtime friends to kick up the laugh factor at the wedding by subtly mentioning our cringiest, most embarrassing, and possibly drunkest moments without actually revealing the whole story to the entire reception. This quote perfectly encapsulates the “always leave ’em wanting more” approach to toast-giving!

“May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.”

#9: A Little Dig Won’t Hurt

Here’s a light-hearted wedding speech joke that will inspire laughs but won’t hurt any feelings.

“I just want to start by congratulating (previous speech giver’s Name) on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow—and I was right; I couldn’t follow a word of it.”

#8: No Interruptions

When it’s the groom’s turn to deliver his speech, things can sometimes get dicey. But here is an excellent example of humor that most can relate to.

“I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife and mother-in-law and not be interrupted—so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

#7: A Little Cliché Can Go a Long Way

Playing with the cliché of wedding speeches is always good to get the guests giggling—and no one can achieve this level of snark and still come off charming like a bestie!

“[Partner one] stole [Partner two’s] heart, so [Partner two] stole [Partner one’s] last name. All in all, I would say that things worked out quite nicely, considering neither of them ended up in prison.”

#6: A Great Father or Mother Joke

This is a great quote, isn’t it? It’s a lovely joke from a parent who spent at least 18 years irritated by the bride or groom before passing the torch to their future in-law.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Rita Rudner

#5: A Husband Jab

We have to say, husband jabs delivered by wives are always crowd-pleasers (sorry, guys), but of course, this wedding speech joke could be re-gendered to work for any couple. And it can be customized by replacing the word “old” to make more sense for the couple (bad with technology would be one potential substitute!).

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”

Anne Bancroft

#4: Sound Advice from the Parents

There’s no one better to give good marriage advice than the happy couple’s parents. This famous saying will undoubtedly bring a smile to your face, but it also contains some smart advice to live by as your marriage progresses—in short, always remember that you’re on the same team.

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Henry Kissinger

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#3: know who they really are (a good intro for a bride or groom speech).

This hilarious quote from comedian Will Ferrell would work great in a speech from the groom or bride. When you want to really get to know someone, seeing how they react to problems, struggles, delays, and technology problems can really make them show their true colors.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”

Will Ferrell

#2: Support the Family

This is a great joke that the groom can include in his wedding day speech. It’s light-hearted and simple, and everyone can relate!

“When I asked [partner’s] father if I could marry his daughter/son, he immediately wanted to know if I would be able to support a family. The answer was no. I was only planning to support his daughter/son. The rest of them would have to look after themselves.”

#1: A Cheeky Wedding Toast (Sure to Have Them Rolling!)

OK, so not many can get away with making a murder joke during a wedding toast (probably not a good idea for the mother of the bride). But your cheeky best man, sassy maid of honor, or part-time-wannabe-comedian best friend in the bridal party could totally pull it off. And, hey, stats are stats!

“[Newlywed 1] and [Newlywed 2], before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. You’re now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!”

It’s an honor to speak at a wedding, but don’t be afraid to include jokes. Laughter sets the soul on fire. The best gift you can bring to any wedding is a well-rehearsed speech that is fun, light, and hopeful.

Want to try your hand at writing your own jokes instead? See the anatomy of a good wedding joke here .

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120 Maid of Honor Jokes for Speech (Funny Examples)

by Marisa Jenkins
October 29, 2023
34 shares 34

Everyone in the bridal party, be it a bridesmaid or maid of honor , has a crucial role to play in the wedding. They are there to assist the couple in everything wedding-related: planning, celebrating, and everything in between.

As a maid of honor, one of your most meaningful tasks is to give a speech at the reception. There are plenty of directions you can go with your speech — sentimental, hopeful, witty, and so on. If you want to write a funny speech , below are some jokes to make it even more humorous.

Maid of Honor Jokes for Speech to Make Everyone Giggle

Maid of honor jokes about memories and misadventures.

As the bride’s maid of honor, you most likely have an arsenal of funny, awkward, or downright embarrassing memories. You can incorporate a few anecdotes into your speech for the reception to get some laughs out of the newlyweds and your guests.

“When [the couple’s names] asked me to prepare a speech for the reception, they specifically asked me not to tell any humiliating stories. So I thought, ‘Why should I bother writing a speech, then?’ That’s all I have for you all, have a great night!”
“[Bride’s name] told me at the last minute to remove anything embarrassing or inappropriate in my speech, so here goes. I can’t talk about her exes, or that one time she got black-out drunk in Ibiza, or that time she hit on our college professor…”
“Remember the time she cut her own bangs before picture day? Let’s just say she was way ahead of the DIY trend! Thank God she decided to splurge on a wonderful hair and makeup team for today…”
“We used to play house a lot as kids. Now she gets to play house for real with a slightly bigger budget!”
“She was the only kid who thought cooties were a type of cookie. And she wondered why boys kept running away!”
“Our childhood lemonade stand was a flop, but look at her now, turning lemons into champagne!”
“Remember our attempts at a rock band? [Bride’s name] is still the only person I know who can play air guitar out of tune.”
“She’s always been a trendsetter. She wore mismatched socks before it was cool… or maybe she just couldn’t find the matching ones. I don’t know. Let’s ask her mom about it.”
“I remember when she was three years old, she thought her shadow was a ghost. She’s a born entertainer!”
“She believed she could talk to squirrels. That was an interesting phase. Now, she’s found someone who speaks her language. Congrats to both of you!”
“Remember the time she mistook a Halloween party for a formal event? She still rocked that vampire costume! That felt like a true Mean Girls moment.”
“I remember when we had a slumber party with our cousins. Her attempt at a surprise breakfast in bed turned into a fire alarm test. But hey, the firefighters were nice! And at least we learned the fire alarm worked!”
“Our newlyweds are so adventurous they decided to take us on a road trip without a map… or cell service. At least we didn’t wither away in the outback! And we found the best tacos in town!”
“Remember our ski trip a few years back? We didn’t end up doing much skiing, but we sure had a lot of snowball fights. I swear I still shiver because of those!”
“[Bride’s name] loves throwing surprise parties. One time, she booked an Airbnb so she could surprise me. Turns out, she decorated and invited everyone to the wrong unit! Even the homeowners were surprised!”
“Our last camping trip was cut short because we needed to find the nearest hospital. Someone, I’m not naming names, decided not to believe me when I said the plant was poison ivy, not regular ivy.”

Jokes About Wedding Planning and the Wedding Day

As a bridal party member, you likely had some involvement in the wedding planning process. Your maid of honor speech during the reception can include some insight into the entire process and the resulting magical day. Laughing about the stress can be a great way to look back on the months you spent pouring over details and technicalities!

“Everyone, please raise your glasses for a toast. We need to recognize the people who made this amazing night possible. Please give a warm round of applause to the lovely bartenders at the open bar! You guys have changed my life for the better.”
“The bride has been planning this wedding since she was five. The groom has been planning it since she found out the engagement ring price!”
“Figuring out the seating chart was more complicated than a high school math problem. But don’t worry, there won’t be a quiz later!”
“Where would [ the couple’s names ] be without the magical and effervescent Pinterest? It is truly the pillar of every engaged couple’s dreams. If you can only see how many wedding-related boards [ bride’s name ] has on her account.”
“The bride’s been on a strict wedding diet of Pinterest, bridal magazines, and cake tastings !”
“Invitations are the only part of the wedding where you can tell people where to go and what to do without offending anyone!”
“They say marriages are made in heaven but so is thunder and lightning. Just kidding! The real storm was the RSVP list. I know which of y’all didn’t respond until the very last minute…”
“I know I speak for [ the couple’s names ] when I say that “wedding budget” is just code for “how to spend a down payment on a house in 24 hours”!
“[ The couple’s names ] wanted a small, intimate wedding, but they both have big, loud families . Good luck to the DJ tonight!
“The wedding dress is beautiful, the flowers are stunning, the venue is picturesque, and the couple is… punctual! That’s a first for you guys! Let’s give them a round of applause!”
“They say rain on your wedding day is good luck, but what about a bird flying into the reception hall? Extra good luck?”
“Today is the happiest day of our lovely newlyweds’ lives… until they get the catering bill! Or until something inevitably goes wrong! Or both!”
“I’ve heard of getting cold feet… but the groom seemed to be wearing snow boots when he walked down the aisle! Care to explain, [ groom’s name ]?”
“The bride and groom are like a pair of scissors—effective together but dangerous if separated. Especially when it comes to the wedding cake!”
“The real heroes of tonight are definitely the catering team. Where would we be without the delicious appetizers or the scrumptious meal? We’d all be hangry!”
“Wedding planning: where the “I do” turns into “What have we done?” real quick!”
“The couple’s love is never-ending, much like the endless group texts about wedding planning details.”
“Today is the day the bride and groom will remember forever, and it’s also the day their bank account would like to forget!”
“I never knew the bride was fluent in a second language until wedding planning began. It turns out she’s fluent in ‘Bridal-ese.’”
“They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes an entire wedding party to hide the bride’s Pinterest from the groom.”
“Wedding planning is where you learn your dream wedding and your wallet aren’t on speaking terms.”
“Marriage is all about compromise. For instance, the bride wanted a gold wedding theme, and the groom preferred silver, so they compromised on platinum!”
“Today, we raise a toast to the beautiful beginning of a lifetime of happy “we do’s” and even happier ‘yes, dear’s!”
“Here’s to [ the couple’s names ]’s gorgeous wedding day: a brief reminder that eating, drinking, and dancing are all socially acceptable ways to cope with emotions!

Maid of Honor Jokes for Reception Speech About the Future and Married Life

Mark this once-in-a-lifetime moment with a playful jest about married life and the future that lies ahead of the newlyweds. A tasteful and well-executed joke in a maid of honor’s speech will balance out all the sentimentality and emotions of the day.

“May your children have loving, kind, and, most importantly, rich parents. They deserve nothing less.”
“I hope you cherish this wonderful wedding weekend you spent the last 10 months of your life planning. Tonight will be one of your last opportunities to party all night and ignore your responsibilities. Congratulations, though!”
“They say married life is like a rollercoaster: there are highs, lows, and the occasional loop-the-loops. However, my biggest wish for you two is that all your ups and downs be isolated in the bedroom.”
“Welcome to marriage, where the line that separates ‘soulmates’ and ‘cellmates’ is so blurred some people don’t even know it’s there.”
“Getting married is like agreeing to an update for an app on your laptop without reading the terms and conditions. You’re essentially going in blind. But I know you two are adventurous, so congratulations on this one, guys!”
“May God give you as many kids as you want. I don’t really understand why anyone would want to have kids, but I guess they are cute sometimes.”
“They say a man stays incomplete until he finds the love of his life to marry. Once married, though, he is finished. Done for . Good luck, [ the groom’s name ]! I sincerely wish you the best.”
“May “I do” not be the last thing you two agree on. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. [ the couple’s last name ]!
“Once you start having kids, do know that I will ask you every day if I can borrow them. Your kids are going to be so spoiled by the best aunt to grace this world. Hey, I already have ideas for TikTok handles we can use for your babies. Let’s talk later, okay?”
“I saw this quote from Eddie Cantor: Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own. I’d like to add to dear Eddie’s words: Marriage is also constantly attempting to solve problems of your own making.”
“I heard that marriage kind of like a walk in the park… if that park had no paved paths, dog poop everywhere, and ticks waiting to bite you.”
“I will end with this quote from the iconic Socrates: By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
“I once heard that marriage is full of surprises. Maybe one day, you’ll find out your spouse has a talent that they’ve hidden from everyone. Maybe one day, you’ll find a skeleton in their closet. You just have to take everything in stride.”
“Today marks the end of their solo adventures and the beginning of their joint venture. And I don’t just mean a joint bank account!”
“They say marriage is all about compromise. For instance, if [ bride’s name ] wants to watch a romantic comedy and [ groom’s name ] wants to watch an action film, they compromise and watch the romantic comedy.
“Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”
“Remember: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once!”
“The secret to a happy marriage… well, it remains a secret. I’m sure you’ll be fine, though!”
“The future is bright for these two, much like [ groom’s name ]’s head under the spotlight! Just kidding.”
“Their future is as sweet as the bride’s love for chocolate. And let’s just say, that’s a LOT of sweetness.”
“Here’s to their journey into the future, may your love grow stronger with every passing argument over who left the lights on!”

Jokes About the Bride or the Groom and Their Dynamic

Before entering a relationship, the bride and groom were individuals with their own personalities and quirks. You can playfully and jokingly point these out in your wedding reception speech as a maid of honor.

“Just remember: you should probably not question your partner’s choices. After all, they chose to marry you. Think about that for a moment.”
“As Rita Rudner once said: marriage is so great because you have finally found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
“I have one last thing to say to our dapper groom, [ the groom’s name ]. I’d be careful of what you say to my sister if I were you. Only I am allowed to bully her and make her cry, do you understand? I’ve been training karate for years, so do not cross me.”
“Being with you two every step of the way while you plan your wedding was a real eye-opener. I’ve seen both of you get hangry on separate occasions. I know it’s real love because not once did you rip each other’s throats when the other is being grumpy.”
“I hope we have a historian here with us tonight because someone needs to get this moment in the history books. It’s the first time [ the couple’s names ] ever refused a drink from an open bar. I’m getting emotional just thinking about it.”
“Oh, gosh. I don’t even know how to begin. [ The bride’s name ] has been my best friend , my sister from another mother, for almost two decades. She is such a loving, caring, kind, gorgeous, talented, generous — wait, that’s not true, why did you include that here?”
“Hey, [ the bride’s name ], good call marrying an archaeologist! You can sleep well at night knowing the older you get, the more interested [ the groom’s name ] will be in you.”
“The bride looks absolutely stunning today, and the groom looks absolutely stunned!”
“I heard [ bride’s father’s name ] describe [ bride’s name ] as someone who lights up the room. I completely agree! She does it by flicking a switch… because she’s absolutely afraid of the dark.”
“She’s always been environmentally conscious, especially when it comes to recycling… her wardrobe for every date night!”
“She believes in a balanced diet… a cupcake in each hand!”
“She’s a planner. She had their wedding day planned out before the groom even proposed. Talk about foresight!”
“Our groom is a man of few words… but he sure does have a lot of opinions on football.”
“[ Groom’s name ] is as romantic as a love song, just one performed by a heavy metal band. So there’s a lot of screaming involved, too.”
“They say opposites attract. [ Bride’s name ]’s a morning person; [ groom’s name ]’s not a person until morning!”
“Mr. and Mrs. [ couple’s last names ], you complement each other perfectly. [ Bride’s name ], you’re the brains of the operation, and [ groom’s name ]… well, you’re really good with remote controls!”
“They’re like a fine wine and cheese pairing, classy separately but a little cheesy together.”
“They complete each other’s sentences, usually because one of them can’t remember what they were going to say. Some signs of aging we’re having, huh?”
“They’re the modern-day Romeo and Juliet, only their families actually get along, and they both don’t die a tragic death in the end!”

Maid of Honor Jokes for Speech With Funny Advice

A wedding reception speech—whether or not you are a maid of honor—is a wonderful opportunity to share some advice for the newlyweds. You can add humor to the wording and your delivery; doing so will uplift the mood of your guests and the couple.

“Having a short memory is a double-edged sword. Sometimes, it’ll make your life the absolute worst: overlooking a chore, putting your keys somewhere that is not your key holder, and whatnot. But sometimes, having a short memory is essential. Maybe it’s best to forget that one disagreement or that one fight. My point is to use your memory wisely.”
“A lot of people say that for a happy marriage, all you need is love. I disagree. You also need patience, a great sense of humor, and a bottle of wine every now and then.”
“Remember the golden rule of marriage: own up to your mistakes and shut up when you’re right.”
“[ The groom’s name ], once you accept that [ the bride’s name ] is always right, I guarantee you will have a long, happy, and conflict-free marriage.”
“Ruth Bader Ginsberg once said, ‘In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf.’ In my opinion, I think it also pays to be a little mute sometimes, or blind — actually, it pays to shut off at least one of your senses sometimes.”
“Marriage is equal parts give and take. You either give something to each other after asking for it multiple times or just take it without the other’s permission.”
“Marriage is like a deck of cards, but you only start with two hearts and a diamond. As time goes by, you’ll find yourself looking for clubs and spades.”
“Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. Just kidding!”
“Never underestimate the power of telling your spouse, ‘You’re right, I’m sorry.’”
“For a happy marriage, have a shared checking account and an undisclosed chocolate stash. Or any midnight snack of choice. Trust me, you’ll need it.
“A successful and healthy marriage requires falling in love with each other many times—always with the same person, of course! Don’t fall in love with someone else, that’ll be bad.”
“Marriage is like fine wine, it gets better with age… most of the time. Sometimes, old wine just makes you dizzy. I’m praying that your marriage is the good type of old wine, though!”
“Always hold each other’s hands, even if it’s just a romantic walk to the fridge at midnight.”
“Keep the spark alive. One idea: do the dishes even when it’s not your turn! Revolutionary, I know!”

Self-Centric Maid of Honor Jokes for Your Reception Speech

Being chosen as a maid of honor is a fantastic feeling. However, it also entails a lot of responsibility and, unfortunately, stress. The reception is your chance to poke fun at or uplift yourself for your role.

“A huge reason why [ the bride’s name ] and I are best friends is because we have the same sense of humor. We’re essentially 13-year-old boys in adult women’s bodies. So if you don’t find my jokes funny, you’re also saying [ the bride’s name ] isn’t funny. You wouldn’t insult a bride on her wedding day, would you? So you’re all morally obligated to laugh at my jokes.”
“[ The bride’s name ] gave me several months to write a heartwarming and sentimental speech. I hope it isn’t obvious that I wrote my speech at the very last minute.”
“When [ the bride’s name ] first asked me to give a speech at her wedding, I thought, wow! It would be an honor. Now that I’m standing in front of you all tonight, here at this lovely venue, I would say the honor is yours because I look absolutely stunning in this dress!”
“[ The bride’s name ] and [ the groom’s name ], I want to congratulate you two for a lovely, majestic, and unforgettable wedding ceremony. Do know, however, that it will only get more incredible because of my speech.”
“I heard that the majority of wedding speeches give advice to the newlyweds about married life. All I can give you are motivational quotes I see on Pinterest because I’m single, ready to mingle, and thus completely clueless about what it’s like to be married.”
“To the people at the back, can you hear me? Well, actually, who am I kidding? Half of you probably don’t care about what I have to say, anyway. At least have the courtesy not to care in the back where you can’t hurt my feelings.”
“People say two is better than one. Maybe they’re referring to marriage, about how couples can complete each other. But I don’t know, they might be talking about two maids of honor , am I right, [ the second maid of honor’s name ]? We’re definitely the highlight tonight.”
“When I asked [ the bride’s name ] for advice about giving a speech, she told me to just be myself. But I thought that was such a bad piece of advice. I mean, we wouldn’t want everyone here to fall in love with me, would we?”
“Last week, [ the bride’s name ] told me to try not to make the speech all about myself. And I was like, damn it! I had to rewrite my entire speech. So, thanks for that, [ the bride’s name ].”
“Our lovely newlyweds wanted to go over my speech yesterday just so they can make sure that what I’ll be saying is appropriate. I thought, well, where’s the fun in that? So maybe I hid one or two pages from them yesterday… gotta keep them on their toes, am I right?”
“Before I begin the wonderful speech that I totally did not write yesterday, I want you all to know that if you don’t want to clap or clink your glasses , I also accept cash and online transfers. My Venmo is written on the program.”
“Watching you two get married earlier, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What’s so good about signing a piece of paper that binds you to another person for the rest of your life?” But then I look at my wallet on payday, and I understand just how happy a piece of paper can make you.”
“Now that the ceremony is over, I’ve finally accomplished my most important role as the maid of honor: changing [ the bride’s name ]’s relationship status on Facebook to “Married.” You better get on that, [ the best man’s name ].”
“Be a maid of honor, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Try peeing in a floor-length dress!”
“Everyone tells you how big of an honor it is to be chosen as a maid of honor. What no one tells you is how many stress dreams you get of the big day.”
“I never knew I had a hidden talent for arts and crafts until I was up at 3 a.m. gluing tiny bows on bachelorette party favors.”

Word Play and Witty Maid of Honor Jokes for Speech

Sometimes, a good old pun can make your great speech even better. Feel free to add dad jokes and other witty plays on words to add humor and personality to your speech. These will get a laugh from everyone—from your youngest nieces and nephews to the uncles and grandfathers in your audience.

“You know it’s been an emotional day when even the wedding cake is in tiers.”
“Before I start with my speech, I want to share a little anecdote. I don’t know if many of you are aware, but our lovely [the couple’s names] found it difficult to get someone to speak at the reception.They said they called their funniest friend first, but they rejected the offer. Afterward, they asked their most charismatic friend, knowing they could really engage a crowd. That friend also said no. Their third call was to their most attractive friend, who said no, too.Finally, they called me. I felt bad for rejecting them three times already, and I figured, “Well, I’ve got nothing to lose, anyway.” And now, here I am.”
“If marriage is the answer, what the hell was the question? Because it sure isn’t, ‘How do I save money for the future?’”
“[ Groom’s name ] accidentally booked a romantic getaway for their first anniversary… in a haunted hotel. Thank you for at least not ghosting [ bride’s name ].”
“Thanks a lot for hyphenating your last names! Now I can’t use any of those “she stole his last name” jokes…”
“Marriage is a workshop… one works, and one shops!”
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Just kidding, here’s to [ couple’s names ], may your marriage be as sweet as your wedding cake!”
“Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. [ couple’s last names ], a picture-perfect couple… just don’t try to picture their credit card bills after this beautiful day!”
“When [ bride’s name ] texted me if I can be her maid of honor… do you want to know what I said? I told her, ‘Aisle be there!’”
“They say marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. But with these two, it’s nothing but endless marry-ment!”

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, what is essential is that you write your speech from the heart. Be genuine with what you say. If there is a maid of honor joke for a speech above that you find funny — and the newlyweds will appreciate — then feel free to include it in your speech.

However, be mindful that some jokes might be inappropriate because of several factors. For instance, there might be children in attendance , or the guests are more conservative. Starting from the ceremony, observe the crowd then make adjustments if necessary.

Marisa Jenkins

Marisa Jenkins is a wedding planner and event coordinator. Her main goal for WeddingFrontier.com is to simplify the wedding planning process by sharing her years of expertise in the industry.

Sat 31 Aug 2024

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11 best jokes for the bridesmaid’s wedding speech

If you’re looking for inspiration for your speech, here are some crackers.

There are various humorous bridesmaid jokes which are sure to go down a treat at weddings (Photo: Shutterstock)

Although a best man traditionally makes a speech at a wedding, hoping to be humorous along the way, it is now common for a maid of honour or bridesmaid to crack a few jokes too.

If you’re looking for inspiration for your speech, then here are some humorous bridesmaid jokes which are sure to go down a treat.

“And so, without further ado, let me ask those of you who still can to stand up and join me in a toast.”

“It has been a very emotional day. As some of you must have noticed, even the cake is in tiers.”

“We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy/girl. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.”

“They married for better or for worse – he/she couldn’t have done better, and she/he couldn’t have done worse!”

“I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So, if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.”

It's now common for a maid of honour or bridesmaid to crack a few jokes too (Photo: Shutterstock)

“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”

“Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.”

“If there’s anybody here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you just got married.”

“We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom/bride shift uncomfortably in his/her seat and grip the tablecloth. That’s right – I’ve been asked to give him/her the drinks bill.”

“I’d also like to congratulate [groom/bride] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right. I could hardly follow a word of it.”

“Good evening, family and friends. I’m very happy to preside over the only five minutes of the day [bride/groom] didn’t plan.”

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How to Write A Heartfelt Bridesmaid Speech (With Examples)

The Speaker Lab
May 15, 2024

Your best friend’s wedding day has arrived, and as her bridesmaid, you want to deliver a speech that truly honors the love she shares with her new spouse. Crafting the perfect bridesmaid speech can feel daunting, but with a few heartfelt examples and tips, you’ll be well on your way to creating a toast that celebrates their unique bond. Whether you’re looking for sentimental stories, lighthearted anecdotes, or the right words to express your love and support, these bridesmaid speech examples will inspire you to speak from the heart and raise a glass to the happy couple.

How to Structure Your Bridesmaid Speech

The key elements of a bridesmaid speech are an attention-grabbing opening, a few memorable stories, and a toast to the newlyweds. Once you have an idea of the general structure of a bridesmaid speech, you can play around with it a bit. Remember, the goal is to write something that is both authentic and heartfelt.

To help you craft your bridesmaid speech, we’ve provided an outline with examples. This outline highlights each of the key elements of a bridesmaid speech, which you can customize as needed.

Greet the Guests

Open with a warm welcome and acknowledgment of what a joyful occasion it is. For example:

“Good evening everyone. It’s so wonderful to see all the people [Bride] and [Groom] love here to celebrate their marriage.”

Introduce Yourself

Let guests know your name and connection to the bride. Keep it brief but affectionate, like:

“For those who don’t know me, I’m [Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of being [Bride’s] best friend since we were [age].”

Share Memories and Personal Stories

This is the meat of your speech. Share 2-3 brief stories, minutes long at most, that give guests a glimpse into your bond with the bride and couple. Some ideas:

The bride’s most admirable qualities and how they shine in her relationship
A funny or touching story from your friendship
How you’ve seen the couple’s love grow

Stories are a great way to engage your audience while also demonstrating positive characteristics about the bride. When preparing your bridesmaid speech, feel free to tell a funny story about the bride, but avoid anything embarrassing or disrespectful. For example:

“I’ll never forget our first girls’ trip together when [Bride] got so sunburned she looked like a lobster. She was in good spirits though—we laughed about it all week.”

While some people might consider a bad sunburn embarrassing, the bride in this story found it humorous, making it safe territory for a bridesmaid speech. A story like this can draw laughs from your audience while highlighting the bride’s healthy sense of humor.

Express Love and Admiration

Here’s where you really honor the couple. Talk about the bride’s best qualities, how happy she is with her new spouse, and the amazing life they’ll build together. For instance:

“[Bride], your kindness and sense of adventure inspire me. Seeing the love between you and [Groom] gives me so much joy. You two are truly meant for each other.”

Raise a Toast

Close your groom speech by inviting everyone to toast the happy couple . Offer your love and support with wedding speech tips like:

“Join me in raising a glass to the bride and groom. May your love be a beacon through life’s storms and your greatest adventure yet. To [Bride] and [Groom].”

Remember, the goal of a bride speeches is to make the newlyweds feel loved and celebrated. Speak from the heart and let your unique personality shine. You’ll give a toast that honors their love story and your special bond.

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Dos and Don’ts of Delivering a Memorable Bridesmaid Speech

If you’ve been asked to give a bridesmaid speech, you know it’s a huge honor. However, it can also be nerve-wracking. You want to strike the perfect balance of heartfelt and humorous, while avoiding any cringe-worthy moments. To prep you for the big day, we have several examples of what you do and don’t want to include in your bridesmaid speech. Let’s take a look.

Keep It Short and Sweet

First and foremost, aim to keep your speech concise. Aim for around 3-5 minutes max. Pick a couple of your favorite memories or anecdotes and focus on those.

Practice and Prepare

The key to delivering your speech with confidence is practice, practice, practice. Write out what you want to say, then rehearse it out loud until you feel comfortable. Pro tip: record yourself on your phone so you can get a sense of your pacing and tone.

Be Authentic and Sincere

The most memorable speeches come straight from the heart, so don’t try to be someone you’re not or force a bunch of jokes if that’s not your style. Focus on expressing your g enuine love and admiration for the couple.

Avoid Embarrassing Stories

While a little gentle ribbing can be fun, steer clear of any stories that could truly embarrass the bride or groom. Keep the bachelor(ette) party antics out of it, and definitely avoid bringing up any ex-partners. This day is all about celebrating the couple’s love story.

If there’s alcohol at a wedding, it can be tempting to rely on liquid confidence for your bridesmaid speech. However, to maintain respect for the couple as well as personal dignity, save your drinks until after your speech. No one wants to hear a slurred, rambling toast, either from a bridesmaid or a groomsman.

At the end of the day, remember that your speech doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s the sentiment behind your words that the couple will cherish for years to come. So take a deep breath, speak from your heart, and enjoy this special moment.

Inspirational Quotes and Sentiments for Your Bridesmaid Speech

When it comes to crafting the perfect bridesmaid speech, sometimes a little inspiration goes a long way. Peppering in a famous quote about love or a heartfelt wish for the couple’s future can elevate your message and leave a lasting impact. Below are a few examples in might want to include in your own bridesmaid speech.

Famous Love Quotes

Incorporating a classic quote about love and marriage can lend some timeless wisdom to your speech. Take a look:

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

Heartfelt Wishes for the Couple

Your speech is the perfect opportunity to share your hopes and dreams for the newlyweds’ future together. Speak from the heart and let them know how much their love has inspired you. A few examples:

“May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
“May your love be a beautiful adventure that grows deeper with each passing year.”
“May you always find comfort, joy, and strength in each other’s arms.”

Celebrating Their Unique Bond

Every love story is unique, so don’t be afraid to highlight what makes this couple’s bond so special. Maybe it’s the way they balance each other out, or how they’ve supported each other through thick and thin. Share a few words about why you believe their love is true and everlasting.

Remember, these quotes and sentiments are just a starting point. Use them as inspiration, but be sure to put your own spin on things. The most impactful words will be the ones that come straight from your heart.

Creative Ways to Add Humor and Personality to Your Speech

While heartfelt sentiments are a must in any bridesmaid speech, a little humor can go a long way in keeping your audience engaged. The key is to strike a balance—you want to be funny and relatable, without veering into cringe-worthy territory. Here are a few ideas for infusing your speech with some personality.

Playful Jokes and Puns

A well-placed pun or playful joke can be a great way to break the ice and get a few laughs. Maybe there’s a funny story about how the couple met, or a pun related to their shared hobbies. For example, if the groom is an author , you could add this line to your bridesmaid speech: “When she told us her fiancée was an author, we knew she had found Mr. Write.”

Lighthearted Teasing

If you’ve known the bride or groom for a long time, a little gentle ribbing can show the depth of your friendship. Just be sure to keep it affectionate and avoid anything too embarrassing. For example: “[Bride], remember when we were kids and you swore you’d marry a prince? Well, I think it’s safe to say you found your real-life Prince Charming.”

Sharing Embarrassing Moments

While you want to avoid any truly mortifying stories, sharing a mildly embarrassing moment can humanize your speech and make everyone chuckle. Just be sure it’s something you’d be okay with your own crazy family bringing up at your wedding. For example, maybe there’s a funny story about a memorable road trip or a disastrous double date.

At the end of the day, the goal is to make the couple laugh, smile, and feel loved. So choose humor that feels authentic to your relationship and the overall vibe of the wedding.

Bridesmaid Speech Ideas for a Sister or Best Friend

If you’re the bridesmaid for your sister or best friend’s wedding, you have a unique opportunity to share heartfelt memories and celebrate the couple’s love story. As someone who has witnessed their relationship unfold, you can offer a personal perspective.

When crafting your speech, consider including childhood memories and stories of growing up together with the bride. These anecdotes will not only showcase your close bond but also give the audience a glimpse into the bride’s early years and the experiences that shaped her into the person she is today.

Childhood Memories and Growing up Together

Take a trip down memory lane and share some of your favorite moments from your shared childhood. Perhaps you have fond memories of playing dress-up together, having sleepovers, or getting into mischief as young girls. These stories will bring a smile to everyone’s face and remind the bride of the unbreakable bond you share.

For example, in your bridesmaid speech you could say something like, “I remember when [Bride] and I were little girls, we would spend hours in our backyard, pretending to be princesses and dreaming of our future weddings. Little did I know that one day, I would have the honor of standing by her side as she marries her real-life Prince Charming.”

Witnessing Their Love Story Unfold

As the bride’s sister or best friend, you’ve likely had a front-row seat to her love story with the groom. Share how you’ve watched their relationship grow and evolve over time. Perhaps you were there for their first date, or you’ve seen them navigate challenges together with grace and strength.

You could say something like, “I’ve had the privilege of watching [Bride] and [Groom]’s love story unfold from the very beginning. From the moment they met, I could see the spark between them. Over the years, I’ve watched their love grow stronger with each passing day, and I know that they are truly meant to be together.”

Your Unbreakable Bond

Finally, take a moment to celebrate the special bond you share with the bride. Whether you’re sisters by blood or by choice, let her know how much she means to you and how grateful you are to have her in your life.

You could say, “[Bride], you’re more than just my sister/best friend. You’re my confidante and my partner-in-crime. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and I know that [Groom] is the luckiest man in the world to have you by his side.”

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Crafting a Speech That Reflects the Couple’s Unique Relationship

Every couple’s relationship is unique, and your speech should reflect that. As you brainstorm ideas, consider the qualities that make the bride and groom’s bond so special. For example, you might list things they love to do together or explain how they complement each other in order to make your bridesmaid speech more personal.

Highlighting Their Shared Interests and Passions

One way to personalize your speech is by highlighting the couple’s shared interests and passions. Perhaps they bonded over a love of travel, music, or a particular hobby. Sharing these details will give the audience a deeper understanding of what makes their relationship so strong.

For example, you could say something like, “[Bride] and [Groom], your love for adventure and exploration has taken you to some of the most beautiful places in the world. From hiking in the mountains to diving in the ocean, you’ve faced every challenge together with courage and enthusiasm. I know that your shared passion for life will continue to guide you as you embark on this new chapter together.”

Celebrating Their Complementary Qualities

Another way to showcase the couple’s unique bond is by celebrating their complementary qualities. Perhaps the bride’s creativity and spontaneity are the perfect match for the groom’s practicality and steadiness. Or maybe the groom’s sense of humor brings out the best in the bride’s more serious nature.

You could say something like, “[Bride], your kindness and compassion are the perfect complement to [Groom]’s strength and determination. Together, you balance each other out and bring out the best in one another. Your love is a testament to the power of partnership and the beauty of finding your perfect match.”

Envisioning Their Future Together

Finally, take a moment to envision the couple’s future together. What dreams and aspirations do they share? How do you see their love growing and evolving over the years?

You could say something like, “[Bride] and [Groom], as you stand here today, surrounded by the love and support of your family and friends, I see a future filled with endless possibilities. I know that your love will be the foundation that supports you through all of life’s joys and challenges. May your marriage be a source of strength, comfort, and inspiration, not only for yourselves but for all those around you. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you both, and I know that with your love to guide you, anything is possible.”

Remember, the key to a great bridesmaid speech is to speak from the heart and to share your genuine love and admiration for the couple. Whether you choose to focus on childhood memories, the couple’s unique bond, or your hopes for their future together, your words will be a cherished part of their special day.

FAQs in Relation to Bridesmaid Speech Examples

What should a bridesmaid say in her speech.

Acknowledge the couple, share heartfelt memories, sprinkle in humor, and close with sincere wishes for their future.

How long is a bridesmaid speech?

Ideally, keep it between three to five minutes. Short enough to hold attention; long enough to cover the essentials.

What to say in your best friends’ wedding speech?

Talk about shared adventures, celebrate their love journey, express gratitude for friendship, and wish them joy ahead.

Bridesmaid speech examples can be your guiding light as you honor your dear friend on her wedding day. Remember, the most memorable toasts come straight from the heart. So stay authentic as you explore the distinctive path their affection has taken, recall treasured experiences shared between them, and inject a bit of light-heartedness along the way. Your words have the power to make their special day even more unforgettable.

So take a deep breath, raise your glass, and let your love for the newlyweds shine through. A toast is in order—one that honors their beautiful relationship and cherishes the strong ties of friendship.

Last Updated: May 7, 2024

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Funny Wedding Toasts

Funny wedding toasts are the perfect way to add a touch of humor to your wedding speech. A good toast can break the ice with a bit of laughter and put everyone at ease, while poking fun at the newlyweds in a loving way.

The following funny wedding toasts and examples are perfect for anyone raising a glass in honor of the new couple. You’ll find toasts for suitable for everyone, whether you’re a member of the wedding party or guests:

For New Couple	For Wedding Party	For Wedding Event
• For bride	• Mother of the bride	• For rehearsal dinner
• For groom	• Father of the bride	• For wedding reception
• For sister	• Mother of the groom	• For wedding anniversary
• For brother	• Father of the groom
• For best friend	• Maid of honor speech
• For daughter	• Best man speech
• For son	• Groomsmen

But beware, a poorly timed joke can fall flat, a tasteless remark can offend, and a poorly delivered anecdote can land with a thud. So, how does one successfully toast the matrimonial merriment?

Fear not, for we are here to guide you through the treacherous waters of wedding humor. With the following tips and examples, you’ll be crafting toasts that will have the newlyweds and guests rolling in the aisles.

How to give a funny wedding toast

Just follow these five simple steps to deliver a successful wedding toast to celebrate the newlyweds on their wedding day:

Know your audience. What kind of jokes will they appreciate? Fun loving or a bit formal? Adjust your material accordingly.
Keep it short and sweet. A well-placed zinger can have a much bigger impact than a rambling anecdote.
Know your limits. There’s a fine line between funny and offensive. Don’t cross it. Avoid jokes that are mean-spirited or make light of sensitive topics.
Practice makes perfect. Rehearse your toast beforehand to ensure a smooth and confident delivery.
Most importantly, have fun! Loosen up and enjoy the moment. If you’re having fun, the audience will too.

Best funny wedding toasts from movies

1.) Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever. Knocked Up

2.) As Bill and Ted once said: Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes! Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

3.) I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is. Forrest Gump

4.) I love you. That’s why I make you miserable. Real Women Have Curves

5.) I love you even when you’re sick and look disgusting. Love Actually

More famous toasts and cheers from movies.

Short funny wedding toasts

1.) May your children be blessed with rich parents.

2.) Time to raise our glasses to the happy couple because I like both of you — do you have any idea how rare that is?

3.) Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: they also chose you. Cheers!

4.) Here’s to the new couple! May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom.

5.) To the happy couple. May you share everything in live, especially the housework!

6.) Now let’s toast to the two secrets to a happy marriage. A good sense of humor and a short memory.

7.) To marriage — the only battle where, once a month, you sleep with the enemy.

8.) To love, laughter, happily ever after — and to these two beauties who paid for the free bar!

Video: 7 Easy Wedding Toasts

Witty wedding toasts.

1.) What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!

2.) May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a reality show.

3.) Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

4.) Saying ‘I do’ at your wedding is like clicking ‘Accept’ any time something pops up on your computer screen: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!

One-liners for wedding speech

1.) Getting married is easy! Sundays in Ikea are when it starts getting really tough.

2.) Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.

3.) You were married by a judge — you should have asked for a jury.

4.) Marry someone your own age because as your beauty fades, so will their eyesight.

5.) You two remind me of the classic couples. Romeo and Juliet. Homer and Marge. Gomez and Morticia.

6.) If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

7.) Marry an archaeologist — they older you get, the more interested they become in you.

8.) Now for some advice from me. The secret to my happy marriage is dinner twice a week. My partner goes on Tuesdays and I go on Thursdays.

9.) Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!

10.) Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, and let me be clear… I said “sacred,” not “scared.”

11.) There’s only one way to have a happy marriage… and as soon as I learn it, I’ll get married again.

12.) We’re gathered here today to honor something that is so truly magical, special and wonderful. Of course I am talking about that cake!

13.) Marriage is a wonderful thing entered by two people. One who can’t sleep with the window shut, and the other who can’t sleep with it open.

14.) I don’t get all dressed up for just anyone, but when two people who are so in love tell me to put on my fancy clothes, this is what happens.

Closing lines

15.) I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are lame.

16.) And now for my final words of advice, if at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way (partner’s name) told you to do it.

17.) I’ll end this toast with my best advice — never go to bed mad. Instead, stay up and fight it out.

18.) They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but you two are so in love it astounds the entire universe.

19.) Congratulations to you three: (new couple’s names) and the big mound of debt you’ve incurred with this wedding reception.

20.) Remember: In life, there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox — duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck.

Funny quotes for wedding toasts

1.) I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

2.) Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. Henry Kissinger

3.) Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

4.) The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman

Quotes about love

5.) Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. George Burns

6.) True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part. Mindy Kaling

7.) All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schulz

8.) Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener. Pauline Thomason

9.) We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love. Dr. Seuss

Funny marriage advice quotes

10.) The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf. Ruth Bader Ginsburg

11.) Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash. Dr. Joyce Brothers

12.) A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it. Unknown

13.) To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. Ogden Nash

14.) The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. Anne Bancroft

15.) For marriage to be a success , every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. Catherine Zeta-Jones

16.) If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married. Unknown

We hope you’ve enjoyed reading these funny wedding toasts that they provide plenty of laughs to everyone at the reception.

Check out more helpful wedding lists here:

Wedding Blessings & Wishes

Best Wedding Songs

Marriage Quotes

By Greg Johnson | Published 11/21/2023

Greg Johnson is a website editor, writer, and content designer. For over 10 years, he has covered subjects like pop culture, music, sports, history, famous quotes, and kids jokes. He is co-founder and editor of ListCaboodle.

Wanderlust Quotes, Sayings

Mom Jokes For Kids

100 Funny Maid Of Honor Speech Examples To Steal- {Bridesmaids Too!}

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Freaking out about having to write a Funny Maid of Honor Speech ? Fear not, we have brought in a stand up comic who is sharing her best examples of quotes to add in to your speech.

pin reads "funny maid of honor speech ideas" with picture of bridesmaids and bride laughing.

It is a great honor to be chosen as the maid of honor for your best friend’s wedding day. You’ve known each other for years, and it makes sense that you would want to stand with her on her big day. But now the pressure is on! It’s up to you to write a speech that will get everyone laughing, crying and celebrating!

You may not know what story or words you might want to say just yet, but don’t worry! We’re here to help.

Our advice? Be yourself, share your memories, and most importantly: don’t screw up!

Tips For Writing Winning Bridesmaid Speeches

The maid of honor speech is an important part of any wedding because it’s a time for the maid of honor to tell a few jokes and share some light-hearted memories about how she feels about the bride.

A maid of honor speech can be great if you’re funny, but it can also turn out less than desired if you’re really not that comical…be sure to know your audience, and don’t force anything so its not awkward.

● Choose your humor style wisely : Be careful to choose something that matches your personality. If you are not that funny, don’t attempt some sort of stand up comedy routine on stage when all eyes are on you. You’ll only end up making everyone else uncomfortable and embarrassed for you.

● Keep it short : This is not a time to tell old stories about how you two met 10 years ago. This is a time to tell the bride and groom how much they mean to you, why they should marry each other (if for no other reason than love) and how happy you are for the both of them.

● Don’t be afraid to get personal : While people will expect light-hearted jokes and funny stories, they’ll also want to hear about the person standing up there and not just some comedian pretending to be funny. Tell the bride how close you are, tell her why you feel she deserves someone like him that will love her as much as he does, and try not to cry while saying all of this.

● Don’t make it about you : You’re not the star of this show so try not to talk too much about yourself and your own feelings for the bride. This is a time for her, make sure she hears how happy you are for her no matter what happens in the future with her and her new husband.

● Don’t be offensive : If you have any jokes that you think may be a little on the edgy side, make sure they are appropriate for your audience. Don’t tell any jokes about race or sexual orientation at a wedding and if you do have to go there, remember who is likely going to laugh; you.

● Practice : Make sure you practice your maid of honor speech in front of someone you trust because you’ll want to see how others will react to your humor. If it’s not funny, scrap it and be prepared to tell the bride how much she means to you in a different way.

● Be comfortable : When it comes time for the maid of honor speech, be sure that you are in a place where you feel completely comfortable like at home or some place in your home town where you’re comfortable and not nervous because everyone around you knows how funny you are. If that’s not the case, then make sure to get there early with a glass of water or a calming beverage so you can be ready by the time it is your turn.

● Memorize it : If you feel comfortable doing so, try memorizing your maid of honor speech. This will also help you get rid of any jitters that you may be feeling as well!

● Give it a rest : If this is your first time speaking in front of people, don’t go overboard. Limit yourself to just one or two maid of honor jokes and then save the rest for a time when you’re more comfortable being the center of attention.

● Talk loud enough : No matter what size crowd or how big the room is, try to make sure that they can all hear you with ease. This means speaking up loud and clear so everyone’s attention isn’t on your voice but your actual words.

● Don’t forget about the groom : While it may be easy to just focus on the bride, don’t forget that there is a groom there that you may have to talk about as well. Make sure that he hears how great of a guy he is and all the things that you know he’ll be good at in the future.

● Don’t be nervous : While it’s great that you care about giving a good maid of honor speech, don’t let it get to you too much because if you are really nervous then your speech will reflect that as well.

● Don’t be a downer : If you know something about the bride and groom, keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear anything bad about their newlywed friends so try your best not to say something that’s going to make people feel sad or even worse; upset with you! Just give all the positives and leave it at that.

● Be yourself : If you are a funny maid of honor, then be funny! If you’re not, then just go with what feels natural to you because if the bride and groom love you for who you are, everyone else will too.

● Don’t take it so seriously : This is your friend’s big day but don’t worry about it too much because if you do, you may end up putting too much pressure on yourself and then your maid of honor speech will suffer because of it.

● Don’t overdo the brag : If the bride is your best friend, then she already knows all the amazing things that you have done and how proud you are of her. When it comes to the maid of honor speech, save your bragging for other times when it will be appropriate and not in this case when the bride has just gotten married!

● Skip the drama : It’s not a big deal if you accidentally forget someone’s name or get nervous when you’re up on stage giving your speech. The bride and groom will not only understand but they’ll also love you a lot more for it because everyone gets nervous, especially on the big day!

● Don’t talk badly about others : Nope, you don’t want to do this because nobody likes that type of person. Even if someone in the bridal party or even the bride and groom aren’t your favorite people, just skip their names in your speech.

RELATED: Who Pays For The Bridal Shower? Bridal Shower Themes Bridal Shower Games & Activities Bridal Shower Jeopardy

three women laughing and toasting wine glasses.

Funny Maid of Honor Speech Examples From A Stand Up Comic

**Warning…Kerry is a stand up comic, so some of these we probably wouldn’t say out loud, but take these examples and make them your own…maybe a little more appropriate for the big day! ha!

Without further ado, here is our stand up comic friend Kerry, to help you out!

I remember hearing about someone’s maid of honor speech and how funny it was. I think it had to do with not being at all surprised that the bride picked her best friend! It wasn’t exactly what most people would say, but it had all of us in stitches.

I’m sure you want your maid of honor speech to be perfect, so take a few moments to jot down some ideas on paper first. That way you can revise the speech until you are completely satisfied! Just remember – there is no right way to be funny. There is only your own way, which might not even involve a pun or punchline.

Funny Maid of Honor Quotes

I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who helped out with planning the Bachelorette Party. And I extra want to thank everyone who lied and told the groom we were scrapbooking.
I still remember when the bride would throw on makeup and fix here hair before going out in public with the groom. He must be thrilled that she is now comfortable wearing jammies and a pony tail on their date nights.
When the bride and groom first met, she asked if I thought he was too good looking for her. Silly, right? He’s not even good looking.
I know the groom loves the bride for being so laid back and accommodating. He has no idea that she’s going to toss out his childhood action figures by this time next week.
I am thrilled that my dear friend chose such an amazing man. You should’ve seen the cast of characters that came before him!
The bride once told me that she loved how the groom was confident and didn’t let her boss him around. Don’t worry, groom, she’ll get there.
I knew he was the one for her when she told me he was a school teacher. He must be pretty amazing for her to marry a man with that salary.
It seems like only yesterday that the bride was out partying and dancing with a man in a fireman’s uniform. Wait, that was yesterday. That whole Bachelorette party is already a blur.
May the bride have a long happy marriage where she never wears any of the lingerie she received at her shower.
I would love to be the first person to ask when you’ll be having a baby, but I’m pretty sure at least two people did so when the bride was still walking down the aisle.
I have never known the bride to love anyone as much as she loves the groom. OK, maybe she has, but those guys thought she was bonkers.
From this day forward, you will never have to get another bikini wax.
The dear bride has a wonderful sense of humor. She said the funniest thing recently. What was it? Oh yeah, “You’ll wear that dress again one day.”
I know the bride will love the groom in sickness and in health. Even if health means he becomes obsessed with CrossFit.
It has been my honor to carry Kleenex, lip gloss, and an extra tampon for you today as you join your life with the man you love.
The bride is the type of woman who’d drop everything to bail someone out of jail. You should all have her on speed dial. But not tonight. She’s busy.
I know the bride loves you to the moon and back, but when you become parents, she’s gonna love that kid all the way to Mars.
These two are so in love that they didn’t even consider a prenuptial agreement. But what would be the point anyway with all their student loan debt.
I’m not saying that the bride changes her mind a lot, but I am going to hang on to the receipt for their wedding gift.
They like to tell people they met at work, but really they met on Farmers Only. Turns out the groom was entirely misinformed on what he thought a “backhoe” was.

I am a tad nervous to speak in front of a crowd, so I’m picturing everyone in their underpants. On that note, check out the groom! Hubba hubba!
The bride has always been like a sister to me. Look out, groom, she’s going to borrow all of your nicest heels.
When these two first met on Tinder, she didn’t even mean to swipe right. She accidently sneezed when browsing the app. I, for one, am so happy she ordered extra black pepper on her lunch that day.
I would do anything for the bride. I’m just glad that she now has a husband who can do most of it, though, so I can sleep in on weekends.
I wanted to share the story about how much nicer the groom is than her last fiancé, but this morning she told me the groom didn’t know about him.
I have seen this gal do a keg stand at a frat party and talk back to a cop. Congratulations, groom, on choosing her to be the mother of your children.
It’s not that you’ll never be right again, groom, it’s that you’ll never be able to admit it.
I have seen the bride at her worst, and I love her anyway. I can teach you how to do that too, groom, because it’s a comin’.
This woman has always been my partner in crime. I’d love to share more stories but can’t on the advice of counsel.
I will always be a sister to you. Unlike your actual sister who is already vomiting in the ladies’ room.
I am beyond thrilled to be the one you chose to lift your dress so you can pee.
When she first asked me to be her maid of honor, I said no. I didn’t think they were a good fit. So, um, yeah. Cheers.
It is a rare occurrence that someone’s one night stand turns into a happy marriage. Hopefully not too rare.
They say not to bring up exes in a maid of honor speech, but how else can I tell the groom what a vast improvement he is over those losers?
For those who may not know me, no, I am not the bride’s good-looking sister. I’m her super good-looking best friend.
The two of us have stuck together through thick and thin. After today, she has the groom to stick with her through thick.
The groom is so wonderful that I didn’t even have to threaten him by saying, “If you hurt her, you’ll have me to deal with!”. I mean, yeah, I did threaten him. I just didn’t have to.
I want to thank the bride for including me today. And for inviting her hot cousin who’s on leave from the Marine Corps. Save me a dance, sergeant?
When she asked me to be her maid of honor, how could I say no? I mean, there’s an open bar.
Thank you for allowing me to say a few words. Most weddings don’t have a maid of honor speech, so that’s a little preview to who is in charge around here.

hands raised in the air toasting glasses at a wedding.

The bride once said she wanted 5 kids. Not sure how many the groom wants. If 10 years from now they have 5 kids, we’ll know who wears the pants in this marriage: No one.
I know the two of you will never have to worry about finances because she’s never going to let you drop $500 on a PS5.
The bride is strong-willed and won’t take flak from anyone. After all, I’m the one who told her not to marry this clown, yet here we are today.
It’s odd to see the bride sipping water instead of her usual red wine. If you guys want to think it’s because she doesn’t want to stain her dress, then I won’t elaborate.
There really is someone out there for everyone. I mean, if this guy can land a hottie like the bride, then there’s hope for the rest of you uggos.
I’m so sorry for getting a little choked up. I always get this way after doing body shots out of a groomsmen’s navel.
I’ve been given a long list of things that I am not to bring up during this toast. On that note, cheers.
This has been such an amazing reception even though I didn’t get any of the bacon-wrapped shrimp.
A word of advice: You never need to go to bed angry. Especially in this day and age when you can legally purchase edibles in most states.
I promise I will make this short and sweet. I can tell the groom is looking for a good excuse to empty another glass.
Some men find it important to marry a woman who takes good care of the home and does the cooking. Some men.
I love the bride because she doesn’t care what anyone thinks as evidenced by her wearing white today.
I knew the bride was really into this guy when she stopped taking her birth control by the second date.
The bride is an amazing woman. When you drink yourself sick, she’ll make sure you’ve had some Gatorade before she laughs at you.
At first, I thought the bride just wanted to throw a wedding. Then when I learned that the groom was unemployed, I knew she was doing this for love.
It’s sweet to hear everyone wish you happiness today as if you won’t both be at each other’s throats once you have kids.
The two of us have so many fond memories together. I’m so happy that she found the person who will hold her hair back after a night of partying for the rest of her life.
I lived with the bride back in college. That’s how I know she’ll be a great wife. She won’t get on your case for not cleaning because she is an absolute slob.
It is my duty as the maid of honor to ask that gal in the back who wore a white dress, “Who the heck do you think you are?”

bridesmaids kissing brides cheek while holding wine glasses.

From this day on, the bride will never have to hide her feelings about how much time the groom spends playing Call of Duty.
These two agree on so many things. If they can just figure out whose method of loading dishes is correct, then there’s nothing they can’t achieve.
Before we toast, I want to remind everyone who hasn’t gotten them a gift yet that these two were too polite to ask for cash. But I’m not. So yeah, get them cash.
The bride has never been one to back away from a challenge. That’s why she married a guy who needs so much work.
Your wedding day may seem like the end of a journey, but the truth is your journey is just beginning. Planning the wedding was the easy part.
I tried to talk them into running away to marry in Vegas, but these two really wanted to waste a ton of money on overcooked pork medallions.
Today marks the day that the both of you realize all those little annoying quirks you each have are here to stay.
From now on, the bride will never have to laugh at the groom’s lame dad jokes. She can roll her eyes with the rest of the world.
I pray that years from now, the two of you have a good laugh when you look at the China you never used and remember the argument you had when choosing it.
Your marriage marks the day when you finally understand why couples get so excited about weekend trips to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
It takes some nerve for a bride to choose an old college roommate as her maid of honor.
I appreciate the couple’s desire to keep costs down, but an outdoor wedding in Phoenix in June is pushing it.
This wedding is a long time coming. They had hoped to marry during the peak of Covid so that they could keep the headcount low.
I know the bride just adores the groom. She is marrying him even after meeting his crazy mother.
I was a tad nervous to give this toast today, but when I saw that the groom’s dad brought his new 25-year-old girlfriend as his date, I figures there’s nothing I could do to make this more awkward.
I want to start by saying that the bride will not be doing a bouquet toss today. She doesn’t want any of you to have to plan a wedding during an international pandemic.
The bride looks like an absolute princess today. I sure hope she doesn’t bail by midnight and leave behind one of her expensive shoes.
Sorry for the late start today. The bride was not feeling well. She totally wasn’t in the restroom saying “I can’t go through with this” while her mother cried.
As most of you know, it is my duty as maid of honor to collect money for those making bets against how long it’ll be before they’re sleeping in separate beds. Over/under is 6 months.
I always knew these two would end up taking that walk down the aisle. Most people thought he’d never propose to the woman who drank herself sick on their first date.

The bride and groom are such a great fit. As you can tell by the decorations today, these two are both very, very frugal.
Just remember, groom, that you think her little quirks are adorable. You forfeit the right to complain about them when they inevitably get on your nerves.
I’m delighted to be here today as the maid of honor. After all, I’m the one who convinced her to go out with the groom in the first place.
I knew it was true love when she learned he was a Steelers fan and wanted to marry him anyway.
Irregardless of what the bride told you, me has always been a good public talker.
I never thought I’d be here celebrating this marriage. After all, the night they first met, she’d been eyeballing his roommate.
When the bride told me she was getting married, I assumed it was because she wanted to throw a party using all those great tips from Pinterest. After meeting the groom, I think I’m right.
I am so happy that these two married for love because considering how much time they spend in the sun, their looks will not last.
Before we raise our glasses, I promised the groom’s Aunt Pat that I’d announce that she didn’t get any of the sausage-stuffed dates.
I want to make sure that everyone has a drink in their hand before I get started. Because if you guys aren’t drunk, then I won’t seem very funny.
I know the groom dearly loves the bride because he saw those pictures of her before she lost the weight, and it didn’t scare him off.
Most women say they’d love their husbands even if he was chubby and balding. I know that’s true for the bride because he already is.
I can’t wait to call you two up in 78 days to tell you that your marriage has outlasted most of the Kardashians’.
When these two first got together, they bought the most adorable dog. I hope I’m on the short list to take him in when they have kids and can’t stand him any longer.
I don’t know the groom that well, but based on his taste in women, he must enjoy Harry Potter and stories about what her cat did this weekend.
I’d like all the groom’s friends to know how much the bride enjoys spending time with you. Remember that when he flakes on plans and blames her.
I have so enjoyed celebrating with these two today, but I would like to announce that I am busy on whichever weekend you choose to have a gender reveal party.
I just know that the groom will make a wonderful father. He already has a terrible sense of humor.
What a lucky man the groom is! He leaves here today with my fantastic friend as his wife. She leaves here today with some flowers that will be dead by morning.
These two are such a progressive couple who don’t believe in gender roles. That’s why he does all the cooking and not because she doesn’t even know how to turn on the stove.

No matter what, remember to never embarrass the bride or groom, and keep it about them. Know your audience, so you aren’t left with awkward silences and feeling stupid. The Maid of Honor speech is an honor to give, just make sure the humor matches the tone of the wedding and the audience.

Sara, a seasoned expert in wedding planning and date ideas, brings a wealth of experience to our couples blog. With a background in the television industry and hands-on involvement in a dozen weddings, including working as a wedding assistant on "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera," Sara has an innate understanding of the magic that makes weddings truly special. Growing up with four sisters has given her unique insights into the dating world, making her a go-to source for practical and heartfelt dating advice. Her knowledge and enthusiasm make her the perfect guide for couples seeking to infuse their relationships with creativity and love.

15 Wedding Jokes To Make Your Speech The Toast Of The Evening!

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Being a Best Man or maid-of-honour is such a privilege. But with such privilege comes a lot of responsibility and stress to make sure your loved ones most special day go off without a hitch. Pun intended. But your job is not done once the vows are said and the rings are on the bride and grooms fingers, oh no. You still have to give a speech in front of potentially hundreds of people. We’ll don’t stress, we have compiled a list fo 20 zingers that will have everyone in stitches.

15 Wedding Jokes for Speeches

In this article, we’ve broken down our list of hilarious wedding jokes into the following three categories:

Jokes For The Best Man
Jokes For The Maid-of-honour

General Wedding Jokes

Wedding jokes for the best man.

As the best man, you are expected to take the micky out of the groom, just a little bit. Here are 5 ideas to get some laughs.

Lastly, he decided to call up his most intelligent friend. Finally, I told him “This is the third time you have called me! If you stop calling I’ll be your best man”.”

“There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Good luck to the bride!”

“Wait, I’m sorry, *insert grooms name* I can’t read your writing”

“I did some research online about best man speeches and it said that you should make your best man speech mainly about the groom. So like *the groom* this speech is going to be short and disappointing.”
“I spoke with the groom’s parents earlier and they told me to cut some inappropriate stories out, so nothing about ex’s… (drop an index card)…. alcohol… (drop another index card) …. the police…. (drop another index card)…”

Wedding Jokes For The Maid-of-Honor

Maid-of-honor speeches are often very sentimental. But there is no reason why you can’t sneak some cute and funny jokes in there as well.

“I have known *insert the brides name* since highschool. So you could pretty much call us high school sweethearts.”
“*Insert brides name*, please put your hand on the table next to your husband. *Insert grooms name*, place your hand on top of hers. Now that you are married, this will be the last time that you will have the upper hand, *insert grooms name*.”
“I’d like to give you and the groom relationship advice, but what do I know? I’m single and have a cat.”
*Insert grooms name*, now that you are married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear”
“All those among you who know the Bride will know that she is a wonderful and caring person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God *insert grooms name* married her before she found one.”

Wedding Couple Releasing Balloons Into The Sky

If you are looking for some jokes that be used as the MC, Maid-of-honour or, the Best Man, here are 5 jokes that you can use to get an extra couple of laughs.

“I’d like everyone to stand for a toast. There are some really important people whom I’m sure you will all meet throughout the evening. Without them, none of this would be possible. Everyone, raise a glass for the bartenders!”

When writing the speech, make sure to include some personal stories about the couples, share some fun moments you had together and let them know how much they mean to you. While it’s great to get a laugh, what is most important is to make sure the bride and groom know how much they mean to you.

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How to Write a Funny Wedding Speech

Funny speeches writing tips.

Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches
Maid Of Honor Wedding Speeches
Funny Groom Wedding Speeches
Funny Bride Wedding Speeches
Funny Wedding Speeches For All Guests
Wedding Party & Reception

Best Funny Wedding Speeches Examples You Can Use

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Funny wedding speeches – are the best way to keep the guests engaged and everyone relaxed and happy. “While you might face some challenges in writing the perfect variant, they are always worth it in the end. First, a funny wedding speech seems shorter than it actually is. Time flies by when the audience is having fun. Second, it’s more memorable. Think of the wedding speeches you can remember and it’s most likely going to be the one that had everyone laughing (or theone that lasted what seemed like for ever with no jokes).” , – Marc Blakewill , an experienced speech writer.

Give your listeners a laugh or two with these hilarious and witty wedding speech samples, and the tips you need to make your own.

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It can seem daunting, but it’s worth spending the time and effort to make your wedding speech both heartfelt and funny. With the professional guidance of Marc Blakewill , an expert in crafting wedding speeches, you can navigate this with ease. Follow Marc’s detailed instructions, and you’ll confidently deliver a speech that resonates with sincerity and humor.

So, how best to write a funny wedding speech?

Tone and style

Mix the heartfelt and comedic – even if you want a speech that is funny from top to bottom, do include the sincere and heartfelt. Think of it like setting off the colour of a precious stone in a ring. With a bit of sentiment, you get more comedic dazzle.
Match it to your personality – if you’re not a natural joke-teller, don’t feel the need to have lots of one-liners in your speech. Focus more on light-hearted stories. Something that sounds like you will be more memorable and valued by the guests. It’s also easier to be “you”!
Keep it as original as you can – avoid the temptation to use old jokes from the internet. They tend to stick out like sore thumbs. If you’re not confident in writing one of your own, using one near the top as an icebreaker is fine. Any more than that and you’re in danger of becoming a cliché-delivery system.

It’s time to treat the blank screen or piece of paper as your friend. It’s your speech and you have the freedom to craft it how you want. How wonderful is that! So, here are some pointers on how to generate funny wedding speech ideas.

The location or venue – is there a joke about how far people have had to travel or how much difficulty they had finding the venue? Is the venue so posh and glamourous you thought you’d be refused entry?
Topical – has there just been a national celebration or sporting triumph that this wedding totally eclipses? Even if it’s a small gathering, don’t be afraid to praise the occasion to the skies. Everyone loves to feel part of something special.
How you met – was it at work, at college, in a bar? Bring this to life. What were your first impressions and have they been confirmed? If you’re Father of the Bride, you could talk about the day of your daughter’s birth. How you bravely dealt with all the pain and stress!
How long have you known each other – if it’s a long time, why not draw a parallel with something historical? Has your friendship or relationship outlasted the terms of several presidents?
Link the past to the present – did the bride or groom do something as a child or teenager that might explain their current career or lifestyle? Did the accident-prone kid become a nurse or doctor? Did the wannabe popstar end up as an accountant?
Everyday things – does the groom or bride have any weird hobbies you could mention? Or maybe a funny turn-of-phrase? Do they insist on checking the front door is locked three.times before leaving their home? You don’t need outlandish stories. Their everyday life and everyday behaviour can be a great source of humour.
Spoof marriage advice – if you’re the Best Man or Father of the Bride, you could give a few pieces of quick, silly advice. Personalise it to the couple and you’ll get instant recognition and laughs. Fun areas could include: too much time on the golf course; shopping like there’s no tomorrow and there’s no credit card bill; forgiving each other’s faults – the ones they can reveal now they’re married!
The simpler the better – your speech really can be as simple as beginning, middle and end. Warm everyone up with some opening fun remarks or jokes, make a few thanks and welcomes (not needed if you’re the Best Man), tell your main stories then finish with some more sentimental moments and a toast.
Link your stories – a speech that flows is more likely to get laughs. So, ensure your stories come in a natural order. This could be in time order or linked by theme e.g. group the groom’s silly little ways together, the bride’s changing childhood ambitions, etc.

Polishing it

Writing is rewriting – the illusion of a great speech is that it came fully formed from the writer’s head. It didn’t. It was written then re-written. So, put your first draft away and come back to it at least one or two more times. You’ll spot the stuff that doesn’t work in a heartbeat.
If you’re not sure of a line, lose it – be strict here. if you’re doubtful when reading it in the comfort of your living room, imagine how you’ll feel in front of an audience. The best speeches are the ones that have had dodgy lines surgically removed.
Read it out loud – this is the best way to find out how your speech flows. Did it feel awkward jumping from one section to another? Tweak it. Did a line leave your breathless as you struggled to the end? Shorten it. Did a joke make your smile as you read it? Keep it! Your voice is a free resource, so use it.

What To Joke About In Wedding Speech?

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It can be quite tricky giving your wedding speech and knowing what to say and when. With funny wedding speeches, it is also important to know where to draw the line with jokes. Below you will find a few helpful tips.

Select your target and build your premise around them. Funny wedding speeches may center on the strict dad, sweet daughter or straight-faced groom. The point is to keep the humor affectionate and leave heartwarming tributes towards the end.
Put down everything that comes to mind when you think about your target in writing. It may be their taste in music, best foods, stand out qualities, weird dress sense or obsession.
Turn these qualities into comedic characters. Is the groom obsessed with keeping tidy while the bride can’t account for one leg of her shoes? Will the groom do a double-take to the prices at flea markets while the bride spends like a Kardashian? Work with their contrasts.
Tell the guests something they don’t already know about the couple. Did the groom win a ballet competition as a teenager? Did the bride do street rap in college? Genuinely amazing yet unlikely skills for such a sophisticated couple to make funny jokes.
Exaggerate these happenings a little. If the couple is great or bad at a thing, then exaggerate a bit. For instance, if the groom is great at soccer, say something like, “his left leg has more coordination than New York’s traffic.”
Involve the guests. You could start with a comical question that includes them or mention something funny about the bride or groom.
Don’t forget the toast. You could insert a funny wedding quote here, would be all the better.

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If your role involves you giving a speech at a wedding, use these tips as a general guideline.

Acknowledge the crowd: It is important to recognize your audience, make them a part of your speech.
Backstories: While introducing yourself, you could chip in how you know the couple, if there’s a comical story there, you could add that too.
Get the guests involved: Whether you’re giving funny wedding speeches as the best man or maid of honor, involving the guests is always a good idea. You could ask them a funny question that loosens them up.
Take a walk down memory lane: Say something about the groom or even the couple. It might have been a double date or your first meeting, but anecdotes make the best jokes when they are pulled from the truth.
Make fun of yourself: Be self-deprecating. If you are able to laugh at yourself, others will too.
Poke fun at the couple: Tease the couple, but lightly. Be careful not to cross any lines, such as talking about any of their exes or anything that could be embarrassing.
Make it quick: Try to keep your speech under seven minutes. Short is best, but not too short that you barely say a thing.
End on a high note: Get the audience on their feet as you raise a toast to the couple.

Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches Examples

If you are the best man, chances are that you share a stronger bond with the husband than the wife. Hence, the funny wedding speeches best man gives are what we call the “guys talk”, which is more concentrated on the groom. He surely has more to say about the groom than the bride, but a good speech creates a balance. He must take notice and acknowledge the bride, letting her know how sweet her groom is.

“Afford me the grace to welcome everyone here today for coming all the way to celebrate Emerald and James. It’s an honor to stand in for my brother today as his best man, and my name is Joshua. My dad is quite fascinated with the letter “J”. Our other two brothers are Julius and Jefferson (shakes head). Before I start, I want to acknowledge that my brother can be quite a stunner when he cleans up. Just.look.at.him… And the bride? Who has seen a vision more beautiful? Okay, I have a bragging right, and that’s the fact that I brought this couple together. I think I deserve an extra flute of wine. It happened on one of our many adventures at fishing, we met this beauty, my new sister. My brother was so shy he pushed me to talk to her. I think he was fascinated that a lady fishes with such expertise. Well, we chatted, and I pulled my brother into the chat. We realized that she’s blunt, sweet, smart, and funny. For a laid-back brother, I knew she is the one that can bring him out of his shell. I told him there and then to go see her father. But I think I lost my brother in the process. He never called me to fish anymore, he went with her instead (sad face). Yet, I’m the happiest today (grins). She brings out the light in his eyes. From fishing to grape picking, and many months later, you’re permanently locked together. My brother, the calm level headed genius, selfless and serious, sweet and generous, finds a wife. Who would have thought? James never had time for these things, but see! I’d die a happy man. Both of you are meant for each other, and I pray the love that binds you never breaks. Be each other’s solace always, and no mountain will be too high. I love you, brother, and I adore you, my sister. Happy married life!”

Funny Quotes For Wedding Speeches From Maid Of Honor

The maid of honor and the bride share a great relationship that’s why she snagged the MOH spot. So, we are in for one of the most hilarious wedding speeches because there’s a lot to tell. From growing up to going through life and all the escapades, the maid of honor speech is a funny yet emotional one.

The maid of honor uses every information and public worthy stories at her disposal to pay tribute to the bride. She also goes ahead to mention the groom to understand his luck, even as she makes the guests laugh. See the perfect example below.

“It’s my sincere pleasure to welcome everyone here today. In case you don’t know me, I’m Mackenzie, the maid of honor and bride’s best friend. But I know practically everyone here today. So, I and my friend, the bride (Emerald) made a pact many years ago that we’d be each other’s maid of honor. She said even if we were pregnant and ready to pop, we’d still fill that slot for each other (smiles). Well, here I am today, after many years fulfilling that duty, because that sweet man swept her off her feet. In truth, I don’t know how I and Emerald remain, friends since we met in college. Our meeting is a story for another day. On many occasions, she has left me at the market to go back home, because she simply hates the market. Then I get back home stressed after doing a good deed of handling both our shopping. But she burns my hands with a spoon because I want to pick one slice of beef as she cooks… So much for appreciation. Well, she’s the cook between the two of us anyway. But she compensates with some sweetness. She doesn’t ever want to see me sad, she’d give me a million slices of beef instead. All the fun times we’ve shared as we comfort each other by visiting our favorite snack spot. Times we’ve shared heartfelt talks amidst laughter while munching chips as we watch that your program into the night. I don’t know how I survived to watch that stuff. Yet, you’re everything Emerald, everything and more. Like your name, you’re loyal, peaceful, faithful, balance and love unconditionally. That I am resilient, selfless, upright and emphatic is because of you. I hope you take these qualities even as you forge on in life. I’m sure that you’ll have a successful love life and domestic bliss like your name symbolizes. I love you bestie, you don’t know how much. James (groom), you’ve found a treasure in her, I tell you. Kindly make sure you wipe the kitchen work table clean after use because if she sees it dirty, you don’t want to find out… Remember, for better or worse doesn’t mean you should hurt each other. It means you’ll hold on to each other no matter what life throws at you. Hold steadfast unto each other. Today, I wish you life’s best, and I send you forth with all my Love.”

Funny Grooms Wedding Speeches

Pass around the tissue box guys, because a well thought out groom speech will get you teary. How so? A lot of men don’t do the emotional thing, because they come across as hardcore. But watching a man look at his bride with so much love in his eyes, saying such sweet things about them… Ah!

He talks about his search, possibly many disappointments, love at first sight, or unlikely circumstances to meeting her. Then he injects humor in his speech. Maybe their first date, things they do together, etc. Everyone smiles through their tears. See an amazing template example.

“Let me start by welcoming everyone to this blissful occasion of my wedding. If you’re wondering why I’m nervous… Well, I’m the groom, and the bills for one makes me nervous. We just love you all so much and wish you shared in our day, that we made a long guest list. That’s some bill we raked. Again, Emerald says I don’t listen, so I’m being very careful with what I say right now. I don’t want to spend my first day of married life in the dog house. But you see, I have a beautiful bride, so it’s enough to calm me. Talking about beauty, Emerald is beautiful, both in and out. And I’d say I’m the luckiest and most blessed man on the planet. I mean, who’d spill his drink on a siren, without getting a slap? I did as I was busy looking at this vision in red on the 15th of November 2010. She just smiled and said she gets that all the time, and that’s how we met. She’s also very smart, I can’t get one over her. Her brain has a timer or something because she never forgets. If I tell her to wake me in 20 minutes, I get woken at exactly that time, even if she also went to sleep. Those are the times I want to cry because can’t she just forget?! Yet, that’s one quality that makes her a force to reckon. She pushes me to be better, obsessed with time management that my life has seen a drastic change. My friends are even shocked that I made it early to my wedding — the emerald effect. How I love this woman, she complements me perfectly. I want to thank her for bringing more light into my life. I also want to thank my parent’s in-law for breeding such queen. Yes, she’s regal. They did perfect! And my parents, thank you for helping me spot gold and treasuring it. You remain idols. To everyone else, thank you for making today great and unforgettable.”

Funny Wedding Speeches From The Bride

We are halfway through the tissue box at this time because the bride is all blush and giggles — with starry eyes as she gives her speech. As a bride, your speech will be an emotional one, so a lot of humor is quite needed for a perfect balance.

You’ll talk about you and your journey to being Mrs. You’d touch on what makes you tick and the qualities that make your groom the perfect one. From these qualities, you’d make funny wedding speeches that will get your guests laughing. For some help with bride speech, we’ve given an example below.

“It is common knowledge that I find it hard to keep quiet. Well, today is my day and it won’t be an exception. So, first, let me welcome everyone that has come to share in I and James’s special day. I hope you feel as much love as I’m feeling now. Also, I would have treasured the presence of my grandma today, but I know she’s proud of me. Gran, I know you can see me from up there, I’m a big girl now (teary smile). So, permit me, but can you see my man? Call me conceited, but he’s such a hunk! I’ve had the blessing of being with this man for 5 years, and today I can call him husband (blushes). I want to thank him for being who he is. Sweet, loving, smart, meticulous and selfless. James loves me right and honors me always, except when he’s getting orange seedlings stuck in the blender. And pray to tell why he’d always fall asleep when we are watching my favorite show? But you see, that’s one of the things I love about him. Talk about support, even when it’s inconvenient for him. Babe, you challenge me and push me to be better with your lifestyle. I love you anyhow, warts and all. James has made my life fun and meaningful. I also want to thank persons who have made today a success. From my parent’s in-law that raised such fine young man, to my parents, the dream of all children. I also want to appreciate everyone that helped put today together. May you experience love so true and so pure. I love you all.”

Funny Wedding Speeches Examples For All Guests

It is within etiquette that a wedding speech must focus on the couple while talking great about them. Funny wedding speeches even do much better, because infusing jokes in your speech gets more attention. Weddings are already emotional as it is, so we’d consider these kinds of speeches as the icebreakers.

The jokes you throw on the couple depends on the relationship you share. It also depends on how much you know them, and what they can take. Great funny wedding speech brings on laughter without it going south. If you need inspiration, see some funny wedding speeches examples below.

By Chris Haywood

“Can I start my speech by welcoming the guests? Today, we are quite surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled thousands of miles, just to be here today. On behalf of Owen, Patrick and Bonney, Hazel and I – We welcome you all and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us. As about half of you will know, this is my second father-of-the-bride speech in less than a year. To misquote Oscar Wilde from “The Importance of Being Ernest” – to lose one daughter may be well considered unlucky. To lose two is careless! Well, I guess that’s OK – because my being careless is how they came to be here in the first place. Making the father of the bride’s speech, I feel a bit like a Sheik walking into his harem for the first time. I know what I’ve got to do, I just don’t know where to start. You will all be quite pleased to learn that my speech will be every bit as good as last time. In fact, my side of the family will probably remember great chunks of it! Not really, although I am following the same format. This means it will probably start badly, sag in the middle with long silences, and then trail off into a lot of incoherent rambling. To be honest, I did try to memorize this speech – but forgive me if I resort to my notes every 5 seconds. I asked for an autocue to be set up in front of me. Apparently, the wedding budget doesn’t stretch that far… and neither does my eyesight. Patrick, we are quite delighted to welcome you into the family. By now, you must be wondering what on earth you have let yourself in for. I want you to know that Hazel and I took it to you instantly. You are a kind and considerate man who deserves a good wife. Thank goodness you married Bonney before you found one! I am only kidding, of course. There is nothing in the world to match the thrill of seeing your first child born. Bonney was a beautiful baby. She still is beautiful – in every sense of the word – and she has continued to fill our lives with happiness and pride. Everyone knows that Bon is a rolling stone – and couldn’t wait to leave home and find new adventures at University. Since then she has made many firm friends, some of whom are decidedly odd – but I’ll say no more about that because most of the odd ones seem to be here today. Now, where was I? Patrick… I expect you may have noticed Pat’s getting on a bit – a few grey hairs already – so it’s taken him some time to find his Miss Right. In fact, his best man tells me he once sent his picture off to a Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back, with a note saying they weren’t that lonely! Patrick is a rugby player – or so I am told. I took the time to ask some of his mates how good he was, where his best position was. To cut a long story short, he seems to be terrible in every position! I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere… but never mind. I have to say that Bonney and Patrick are extremely well suited, aren’t they? They’re happy and they love each other. That should be enough to see them through life together. It has been well said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. Whoever said that knows nothing about women and even less about fractions. I asked Pat recently what he was looking for in marriage. He said love, happiness and eventually a family. I asked Bon the same question. She replied “A coffee percolator.” She said a “perky copulator” but I knew what she meant… As you all know, fathers of the bride get to make the first speech. To be honest with you, it’s a bit like being invited to sleep with the Queen Mother. It’s a great honor – but you don’t want to do it! And what about the bridesmaids? Didn’t they look lovely, in the church? Having seen all the Ushers, I thought for a minute I’d accidentally wandered onto the set of “Seven Brides for seven brothers”. I started planning this speech a month ago. And you must feel like I’ve been delivering it equally as long. And I haven’t quite finished yet. Because my next toast is to the bride and groom. This reminds me of the wedding I once went to where the two of the guests were a minister and a priest. When the priest was offered a drink for the toast he said: “I’ll have a large whiskey please”. When the minister was also offered the same, he said “No thanks. I’d rather go with a scarlet woman than touch the demon alcohol”. The priest promptly put his whiskey back on the tray and said: “I didn’t know there was a choice!” Now I don’t want to offend anybody, so if there’s a priest or a minister present, I apologize. And if there’s a scarlet woman here, I’ll meet you in the bar in 10 minutes! Thank you for your indulgence. Without further delay, I’ll ask you to join me in a toast to my beautiful daughter, the bride, and her handsome husband, the groom.”

By John Gallagher

“Good evening everyone, for those of you that don’t know me, my name is John and I’m Katie’s dad. I am delighted to welcome you here tonight to celebrate the Marriage of Katie and Simon. I know that many of you have traveled many thousands of Kilometers to be here in Umea Umio, Sweden, with us today. On behalf of Pippa, Inga, Borje, and myself; I would like to welcome you all here today to help celebrate the marriage of Katie and Simon. I apologize if the accent is difficult for any of you but translators throughout the audience will help and the speech will be posted at the rear of the room later with copies on the internet tomorrow!! Also, I would like to thank the Priest, Inga, for the lovely service in the most beautiful church. Thank you to her boss for the good weather! I’d like to offer my sincere thanks and appreciation to all those who have worked so hard and long to help put this day together, a day which, I am sure, Katie and Simon will cherish for the remainder of their lives together. Standing here tonight reminded me of a joke. Two TV aerials met on a roof, they fell in love and eventually married. The wedding was pretty average but the reception was brilliant. OK, no more jokes!! Katie this is that point in time that every daughter fears…..what is Daddy going to talk about….is he going to tell about the time when…??!! I’m not going to tell of any of those times, but rather, I’m going to say & quote, thank you & quote! You see the one thought I’ve always been able to picture was that of today when you and I shared our little glance at one another as we were ready to start our walk down the aisle. As it was with my daughter Lucy and as it will be with my daughter Gemma, it has always been with me and always will be. I feel extremely lucky and humble in being able to say I have five great children and one special grandchild and to have them all here together gives me a sense of pride. Simon, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you into the family, but I’m sure you know that you have been welcome since that first day I met you at my house. Every Father hopes his daughter will find a smart, reliable, sensible, and considerate young man so I have to say, I’m a contented father, as I am delighted to see my daughter looking so happy and well today. It is a real pleasure Simon, to welcome you into our family. Many things go into making a marriage happy: Love, fidelity, trust, someone who will listen, persistence and patience, tolerance and forbearance, tenacity and stamina, forgiveness or failing that, a defective memory. It also helps if the husband is always prepared to take the blame! I’d just like to offer a few words of advice: Katie – If you want something from Simon, just ask for it. Don’t forget he’s a man and hints don’t work. Lastly, always remember, as a great philosopher once said, a man who gives in when he is wrong is wise. Whilst a man who gives in when he is right is married.”

Don’t hesitate to write the funny wedding speeches you need for that special day. Your nerves won’t get the best of you if you know what to say. Follow this well prepared guideline and are sure to be in comical wedding speech heaven in no time.

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48 Hilarious Wedding Puns, Jokes & Quotes

Love, laughter and happily ever after? We hope that’s how you feel after reading 48 of our favourite wedding puns, jokes and quotes! Get ready to add a dash of humour and a sprinkle of wit to your wedding day.

Need more laughs? Check out funny wedding vows for him, her & them!

When to use wedding puns, jokes & quotes

There are lots of great times and places to drop a few wedding puns or jokes on your wedding day and leading up to it. The key is to find times and places that are low key, where a bit of humour will add to your wedding and not detract from a meaningful moment.

Some of the best places for a wedding pun include:

Your wedding website
Social media captions on your wedding photos
Wedding signs
Wedding ceremony programs

All of these options are great because they’re written – many puns only make sense when you can see how they’re spelled. It can be harder to get the joke across if your audience only hears you and can’t see the pun. And as funny as puns can be, sometimes it’s more of a “quick chuckle” than a “roar with laughter” moment, making them better suited to times when guests can enjoy them on their own.

Another place you may want to incorporate wedding jokes or funny quotes would be in your wedding toasts and speeches. In fact, many of our jokes below work perfectly in a speech. However, we will advise you to proceed with caution. Remember that this is a wedding, not a comedy show!

mother and daughters laughing on wedding day

Tips for adding jokes, puns and funny quotes to your wedding

Like most things in life: Less is more when it comes to funny wedding vows , jokes, puns and quotes. Use them sparingly! Even if everyone knows you two are big goofballs, your wedding is still an important day that you should take seriously. Have fun but don’t forget why you’re getting married (and no, it’s not to practice your stand up routine!).

Choose wedding puns and jokes that mean something to you . A funny pun about a dentist in love will be a lot funnier if you or your spouse-to-be actually are dentists! If none of the examples below apply to your situation, they can still inspire you to find or write a joke that plays on who you two are.

Don’t be offensive . No one wants their wedding to be full of crude language, cringe moments or vulgar jokes. Remember, there are likely grandparents and little children present! Avoid talking about exes, hot button issues or anything that would embarrass someone in the room.

And please, don’t go for a tired sexist wedding joke . We’ve all heard the jokes about how marriage is a life sentence, men don’t listen and women are always shopping. Not only are these jokes unfunny and untrue, they’re also just boring! Obviously the couple getting married believe in marriage, so there’s no need to make a joke everyone has heard before mocking their choice. Trust us, you’re better than that.

Now that you know the do’s and don’ts of wedding fun, let’s get into some examples!

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20 hilarious wedding puns

What was the best part of the wedding? The reception; it really took the cake.
The groom couldn’t stop making wedding puns during the ceremony. He said he was just “altar-ing” the mood.
The couple hired a vegetarian DJ so he could turnip the beets.
For butter or worse, a toast to the newlyweds!
When she told us her fiancée was an author, we knew she had found Mrs Write.
The famous musician proposed to the person he was in love with. He did it with a kneel diamond.
This might sound cheesy, but you’re really grate. Life is gouda with you!
Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
I hear vampire weddings really suck.
The couple were both music lovers, so they exchanged “notes” instead of vows.
I cannoli be happy when I’m with you because you make life sweet.
We’re keeping the wedding casual, so consider it a lack tie affair.
I had cold feet, but my partner reassured me they were just “icing” on the wedding cake.
It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.
Words can not espresso how much you mean to me. It’s a whole latte love!
Now that they are married, they are both footloose and fiancé free.
The dentist had strong fillings for his new spouse.
Marrying in July is pretty brave, but what can you expect from these two sweat-hearts?
The details about the bouquet toss are still up in the air.
Let’s not argue over whether it’s a cravat or a bow. Let’s just call it a tie.

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18 wedding jokes – perfect for funny wedding speeches!

When your spouse gets a little upset, just remember a simple “calm down” in a soothing voice is all it takes to get them a lot more upset.
What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Can’t elope.
Now, I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.
What can I say about a person who is kind to everyone they meet? A person who is smart, gifted, stunning, successful and so much more? A top human in every situation? Well, enough about me, let’s move onto the newlyweds.
Luckily we didn’t have a Runaway Bride situation. It was more like Runaway Bridal Expenses!
Today we witnessed a unique event in history – it’s the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are horrible.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to steal the covers from for the rest of your life.
Well, what can I tell you about the happy couple? I’ve known them for about 10 years, they’re funny, intelligent, kind, beautiful… sorry, wrong wedding!
What did Cinderella say when her wedding photos didn’t show up? Someday my prints will come!
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is (Name). My full name is actually ‘(Name) would-you-like-a-drink.’ For those of you who I chat with at the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.
Marriage is full of surprises but it’s mostly just asking each other, “Do you have to do that right now?”
The couple has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis. So, on their behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…
And so, without further ado, let me ask those of you who still can to stand up and join me in a toast to the newlyweds!
May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show.
I would like to reintroduce the most important people here tonight. We know them, we love them and it’s probably why we’re all here…the bartenders!

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10 funny wedding quotes

“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
“Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
“Is marriage just two people taking turns mashing the trash down in the hopes the other one folds first and empties the bin?” – Monica Hesse
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
“The best thing to ever happen to a marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” — Rick Reilly
“True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” – Mindy Kaling
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“I’m going to get married because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” — Wendy Liebman
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

Whether you choose to add any to your wedding day, we hope these wedding puns, jokes, quotes and funny lines got you laughing! Keep smiling as you plan an awesome wedding, custom ceremony and have the best marriage ever!

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Find a local wedding supplier, wedding jokes for any speech.

Modern Wedding Posted: January 21, 2020

Looking to incorporate some humour into your speech? Try adding in some of these wedding jokes!

Via Red On Blonde

Cracking The Safe...

Q: Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger? A: He’s trying to figure out the combination.

The Tough Truth...

Is marriage just two people taking turns mashing the trash down in the hopes the other one folds first and empties the bin? —Monica Hesse, writer

The Rings...

For newly married couples, there is a progression of rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering!

The Diagnosis...

A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says, “Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?” “Well, in plain English,” says the doctor, “you’re just lazy.” The man nods. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

So many tiers...

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

Always Right...

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Faults And All...

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Pants Man...

I'm not a yes man to my wife - when she says no, I say no. It's not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets.

The Wedding Night...

Did you hear about the newlyweds who stayed up all night waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?

It was the first night of the newly weds in their bridal suite and the young husband was staring out the window very intently into the starry night while his young bride was sitting patiently in bed waiting.

"Aren't you coming to bed darling?" she said sexily.

"Not on your life!" he replied. "My mother said this would be the most wonderful night of my life and I'm not going to miss it for anything!"

Laundry Day...

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Hallelujah!...

They've been together for so many years, instead of the Wedding March the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus!

The Finer Things...

She (the bride) loves the finer things in life. I overheard her when the minister was going through the vows - she said "What's all this garbage about for richer or for poorer?"

The Kid Future...

It would be wonderful someday to see ______ (bride) and ______ (groom) have children. I think people who never have children just don't understand what they're missing. They'll never know the thrill of coming home after a hard day of work to see their children stuffing spaghetti up their noses.

Facebook Knowledge...

Children are essential in modern-day life - without them, how the hell would you upload anything to Facebook.

Florist Humour...

Two florists recently got married. It was an arranged marriage.

Super Stunned...

The bride looks absolutely stunning, the groom looks absolutely stunned!

For Better Or Worse...

They married for better or for worse - He couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse!

Darling, tonight you will sink into my arms and tomorrow your arms will be in my sink.

Aisle, Alter, Hymn...

Before her wedding, a young bride got more and more nervous about the wedding ceremony so she went to see the minister. He reassured her by pointing out that the ceremony was quite simple.

'You enter the church and walk up the AISLE.

The groom will be waiting for you at the ALTAR.

Everyone will then sing a HYMN to start the ceremony' said the minister. Just remember the order and everything will be fine.

On their wedding day, the bride remembered the order and arrived alongside the groom muttering to herself, AISLE, ALTAR, HYMN, AISLE ALTER, HYMN - or as the groom thought he heard "I'll alter him!"

Two Spiders...

Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.

So Much Trust...

Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

The Natural Elements...

Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail.

To Love, Honour and Annoy...

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Mow The Lawn...

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are hard to get started, they give off foul odours, and do not work half the time.

Football Fever...

I identify with football players because I know what it’s like to spend your whole life training for a large, jewel-encrusted ring.

So Unprepared...

Hi everyone! I’m (Name) and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!

Terms And Conditions...

Arguing with the wife/husband is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go 'I agree.'

In Loving Memory...

Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Good Advice...

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.”

So you've nailed the wedding jokes! Do you now need some tips on how to write the perfect wedding speech? Check them out here !

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50 Funny Groom Speech Jokes to Win Over Wedding Guests

Updated on: August 28, 2023

Jessica Amlee

No Comments

The groom speech: that time-honored tradition where the groom grabs a microphone, clears his throat nervously, and tries not to humiliate himself in front of family, friends, and that one weird uncle everyone warned him about. It’s the verbal equivalent of a high-wire act. Too sappy, and you’ll hear groans. Too short, and people will think you didn’t even try. This is not just another toast; it’s the emotional climax of the wedding reception. If movies have taught us anything, it’s that a groom’s speech should be written by an Oscar-winning screenwriter, delivered like Denzel, and revered like the halftime pep talk in every sports movie ever.

That’s where Groom Speech Jokes come in! Because let’s be honest, weddings can be long affairs. By the time you stand up to speak, folks have been through appetizers, entrées, and maybe even a slide show set to a Kenny G soundtrack. People need a pick-me-up. And nothing wakes up a room faster than a well-timed joke. These groom speech jokes include everyone – from you and your bride’s sisters, brother, and parents to the rest of the lot including the best man and the bridesmaids.

Humor adds sparkle to your words and keeps the audience on their toes. You don’t want your love story to sound like a quarterly report on dishwasher sales, do you? So, toss in a joke or three. Make ’em laugh. Trust us, it’s the best way to ensure that your wedding day will be remembered for all the right reasons—and not because Uncle Bob dozed off and snored through your declarations of eternal love.

Best Groom Jokes for Speech

Add these one-liners and puns in your groom speech to woo your wedding guest:

I remember the first time I met [Father of the Bride’s Name], he took me aside and gave me some advice. He said, ‘Son, marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.’ Don’t worry, sir, I got the message—loud and clear!”
Let’s give it up for our ushers! Those are the guys you saw on your way in, showing you to your seats—kind of like the flight attendants of the wedding world, but without the peanuts and tiny cans of soda.
The first time I ever set eyes on the [Bride’s Name], I was awestruck by her looks – to me she was ‘drop dead gorgeous’, I said to her ‘you’re gorgeous’, she said ‘drop dead!’
I learned very early on just how close [Bride’s Name] and her mother are. During one of our first dates, she told me to hold on because she had to call her mom. I thought she was joking. Three hours later, they’re still talking, and I’ve memorized the entire menu of the restaurant. Thank you, [Mother of the Bride’s Name], for finally hanging up so I could learn if I was getting a second date!”
[Bride’s Name] says she loves me more every day. I told her that at this rate, she’ll soon reach a point where she can’t stand to be without me for even a second. She said she’s already there but will give me five minutes today to talk to my buddies.
I want to thank my parents, who have been married for [number of years] years and have set an incredible example. I asked them for their secret to a long-lasting marriage. They handed me earplugs and a blindfold. Love you, Mom and Dad.
[Younger Brother’s Name] has been so welcoming since day one. He gave me the most heartfelt advice on joining the family. He said, ‘Bro, you’re cool and all, but if you make my sister cry, I have a black belt in remote control throwing.’ Duly noted, my man, duly noted.
I want to thank everyone for coming to what I like to call ‘The Sequel.’ You know, sequels are always a bit controversial—some people think they can never be as good as the original, but others think they’re a chance to correct the mistakes of the first one. I’m just glad there’s no option for a reboot!
They say practice makes perfect, and after last night’s rehearsal dinner, I can confidently say we’ve mastered the art of pretending to know how to cut a wedding cake.
Now, I want to give a shoutout to my Best Man, [Best Man’s Name]. He’s been my confidant, my wingman, and my therapist. And after tonight, he will also be my debt collector because have you seen the bar tab?
I know the bridesmaids have put in a lot of effort into looking good today, but I’m here to tell you, ladies, it was all in vain. Nobody could ever outshine my beautiful bride. But hey, second place is still good
If I’ve learned anything from being with [Bride’s Name], it’s that she’s always right. Even when she’s wrong, she’s ’emotionally right,’ which I’ve learned is a completely different category of being right that men know nothing about.
Let’s not forget [Older Sister’s Name], the original role model for [Bride’s Name]. She taught her so many important life skills—like how to expertly dodge chores and blame it on the sibling. Thanks to her, I now have a wife who can ‘disappear’ every time the garbage needs taking out.
To my friends who couldn’t make it, thanks for sending your well wishes and apologies. By the way, your portions of the cake will be mailed to you. Expect a very squished box in 5-7 business days.
My parents are incredible people. They’ve always been there for me. Literally. They even followed me on my first date with [Bride’s Name]. We thought we were being tailed by the FBI, but it was just Mom and Dad in oversized sunglasses and a baseball cap.
I have to thank [Younger Sister’s Name] for helping me survive my first ‘Meet the Parents’ dinner. She sent me a text under the table that read: ‘If you want to impress them, mention your 401(k) and pretend you like dad’s jokes.’ Worked like a charm.
Getting to know [Bride’s Name] meant getting to know [Twin Brother’s Name] too. It’s like studying for two exams at once. The good news is, I think I’ve passed. The bad news is, I still can’t tell their childhood photos apart. I just nod and say, ‘Wow, you both look so cute!’
They say that bridesmaids are like the GPS of the wedding—always there to point you in the right direction, especially when it comes to avoiding disastrous hairstyle choices and horrific dance moves. Thanks for keeping us all on the right track.
Dad taught me some valuable lessons about love. For instance, the words ‘Yes, Dear’ are the key to marital bliss. And if you forget your anniversary, the doghouse isn’t as uncomfortable as you’d think.
I’ve got to say, the wedding feels a little different the second time around. The first time, I was nervous about the little things, like tripping over my vows. This time, I’m just glad I remembered where the church is!

Recommended : Best Man Speech Jokes

I owe a lot to my Best Man. In fact, if it weren’t for [Best Man’s Name], I might not be standing here today. He’s the one who taught me the secret to a happy relationship: Always have the last word, and make sure that last word is ‘Sorry.’
[Bride’s Name] is so punctual; she’s never late for anything. She even starts worrying about being late while she’s still early. I think our future is going to be meticulously planned and extremely punctual. Our first child will probably be born saying, ‘Am I late?’
If the wedding is anything like the rehearsal dinner, we’re in for a good time. The food, the drinks, the awkward speeches—it’s like a family holiday, but with better table settings.
“Let’s all give it up for [Elder Brother’s Name], the original ‘Gatekeeper.’ I had to answer three riddles and beat him at arm wrestling just to be granted an audience with his sister. Thankfully, he didn’t ask me to climb a tower or slay a dragon—those are in the advanced tests, I hear.
[Father of the Bride’s Name], you’ve been like a second father to me. Or rather, a financial advisor, mechanic, DIY expert, and occasional golf buddy all rolled into one. So, if I make any mistakes, just remember—you’re partially to blame!
Some of our dearest friends couldn’t be here tonight, but they sent their love and some truly unforgettable text messages—most of which are better read when not standing next to my new in-laws.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a very emotional day. Even the cake’s in tiers…!
[Bride’s Name] is a firm believer in ‘retail therapy.’ And by that, I mean she goes to therapy, finds out it’s my fault, and then goes shopping to feel better.”
[Younger Sister’s Name] has been practicing for months to catch the bouquet tonight. So, ladies, consider this your fair warning: you’re competing against someone who’s been doing wrist exercises and has studied the aerodynamics of flower-throwing. May the odds be ever in your favor.
The bridesmaids have been like the secret service agents of this wedding. They’ve guarded [Bride’s Name] from stress, shielded her from bad advice, and screened all her calls. I’m considering hiring you all full-time.
When we first started dating, [Bride’s Name] told me that communication is key. So now, we have a very open dialogue about how I’m always wrong. It’s quite enlightening.
I want to thank [Mother of the Bride’s Name] for raising such a wonderful daughter. She taught her everything: how to be kind, how to be thoughtful, and how to be patient. And let’s not forget, how to dissect every single word a man says. I’m pretty sure that when I said ‘I do,’ [Bride’s Name] heard ‘I do… promise to never leave my socks on the floor, take out the trash without being asked, and always, always agree that your mother is right.’
[Best Man’s Name] is so trustworthy, I even let him plan my bachelor party. Of course, that was before I found out it would involve bungee jumping and a petting zoo. Let’s just say it was a wild ride in more ways than one.
A big shout-out to [Older Sister’s Name]. She’s the one who’s been vetting me from day one. Our first meeting felt like a job interview. There were background checks, personality quizzes, and a lie detector test—or at least it felt that way. Happy to report, I got the job!
[Bride’s Name] is great with directions; she can find her way anywhere. Except for the laundry room—somehow, that place remains a mystery to her.
A big thank you to all the bridesmaids for planning such a memorable bachelorette party for [Bride’s Name]. I wasn’t there, of course, but I did see some interesting props lying around the house. I’m looking forward to the explanation.
They say that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. Well, if that’s the case, I hit the jackpot twice. I got a beautiful, loving wife and in-laws who are already showing me how to up my BBQ game and Pinterest-worthy home decor. What more could a guy ask for?
When I asked [Elder Brother’s Name] for his sister’s hand in marriage, he said, ‘Are you sure you can handle her?’ I thought it was a cautionary statement until he handed me a survival kit with earplugs and a bottle of aspirin. So far, so good!
I asked [Bride’s Name] what her dream destination was for our honeymoon. She said, ‘Anywhere, as long as you’re there.’ I told her that’s sweet because my dream destination is anywhere with free Wi-Fi. We’re still negotiating.
When [Younger Brother’s Name] found out his sister was getting married, he had only one concern: ‘Does this mean I get her room?’ Well, buddy, you might have to negotiate that with your parents, but if it helps, you can have all my old baseball cards.
Let’s hear it for [Twin Brother’s Name], the man who knows [Bride’s Name] so well, they literally shared a womb. I’ve been told they even had a secret language as kids. I’ve tried learning it, but it turns out, ‘Don’t mess this up, bro,’ sounds the same in every language.
I learned very quickly that ‘Do you want to watch a romantic comedy?’ is [Bride’s Name]’s code for ‘We are watching a romantic comedy.’ Now, I not only know who Hugh Grant is, but I also have strong opinions on his best roles.
You know you’re part of the family when the older sister starts asking you for tech support. [Older Sister’s Name], I promise to keep helping you with your computer problems, as long as you promise to keep telling [Bride’s Name] how amazing her choice in husband is. Deal?!
[Younger Sister’s Name] told me the quickest way to her sister’s heart was through her stomach. So, I tried cooking dinner for [Bride’s Name] one night. After that culinary disaster, [Younger Sister’s Name] handed me a stack of takeout menus and said, ‘Let’s keep this our little secret.’
[Bride’s Name] once said that marriage is all about compromise. For instance, she wanted a cat, and I wanted a dog. So we compromised, and now we have a cat.
I’ll never forget the time [Twin Sister’s Name] and [Bride’s Name] decided to switch places to test if I could tell the difference. I panicked and accidentally said, ‘Wow, honey, you look different today, did you do something new with your hair?’ Never making that mistake again!
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. [Bride’s Name] took that literally and first won me over with her amazing ability to order the best thing on any takeout menu. It’s a talent, really.
[Bride’s Mom’s Name] and [Bride’s Dad’s Name], you’ve raised a wonderful daughter, and for that, I owe you everything. Literally. Have you seen the cost of weddings these days? I think we’ll be paying this off until our golden anniversary!
I asked [Bride’s Name] what she loved most about me. She said, ‘Your ability to listen.’ I’m not sure what she said after that; I was too busy celebrating the compliment.
Our ushers have done a great job seating everyone today. And don’t worry, they’ll also be available after the ceremony to help you find your cars. No, seriously, they’ve got maps and everything.

Do you have a funny Groom Speech Joke? Write down your own Groom jokes for speech in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

Funny Wedding Speech Examples

Are you getting ready to give the best man or maid of honor speech at your best friend’s wedding reception? Bravo to you! Humor is frequently a fabulous addition to any toast, and we’d go as far as saying that funny wedding toasts, when done right, can put everybody in a great mood. The key is to remember to choose something relevant to your audience, reasonably age-appropriate, and not too abstract or otherwise over-the-top.

Everyone loves a hilarious wedding toast , and the goal is to engage the audience and to honor the couple. It is not the time to do your stand-up routine or embarrass the newlyweds! You want to make everyone chuckle, not wonder who Captain Inappropriate is.

That’s why we’ve pulled together wedding toast quotes we thought achieved both objectives perfectly.

Check out a few wedding toast quotes and speeches to inspire you and help make your toast memorable below!

Bride and Groom kissing surrounded by bridesmaids and groomsmen

FUNNY WEDDING TOAST QUOTES

“Here’s to the bride – may she share everything with her husband…and that includes the housework.”
“May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.”
“To the groom: Early in your marriage, you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion — just make sure the words are ‘Yes dear.’”
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner.
“By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”—Socrates.
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”–Henry Kissinger.
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”–Henry Youngman.
“I’m so glad we all had a night to rehearse getting drunk for the wedding reception.”
“I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”
“Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don’t waste that night with the girls.”
“As you slide down the banister of life, may all the marital splinters be pointed in the right direction.”

FUNNY WEDDING SPEECH EXAMPLES

“For those that don’t know me, [Groom] and I go back all the way to middle school. This means we go back to a time when [Groom} looked more like Chunk from The Goonies and less like the suave man sitting before us tricking [Bride] into thinking that watching him do the Truffle Shuffle in the mirror isn’t in her near future.

[Groom] really is the best friend I could have ever asked for. Growing up, we lived across the street from each other, so he was always really more convenient than anything else. The fact that there was an inground pool in his backyard didn’t hurt the relationship either.

But now we sit here [x] years later, [Groom] has grown into a wonderful man, and he’s sure to be a wonderful husband to you [Bride]. As long as you can get past his infatuation with Teletubbies and the fact that he went as Tinky Wink for Halloween in the fourth grade, I think you’ll make it through anything!”

Bottle of champagne with champagne flutes and glitter covered bottles

MAID OF HONOR

“Good evening, everyone! My name is [Maid of Honor]. For those that don’t know me, the bride and I go way back. In fact, we literally go all the way back to the sandbox. We met at the park one afternoon. She was drawn to my homemade mullet. I was drawn to the giant chocolate stain on her shirt. “That’s my kind of lady,” I thought. We’ve been best friends ever since.

[Bride] is the absolute best friend I could have ever asked for. She’s also quite the one-a-kind woman. She can burn a bowl of cereal, and she refuses to use a turn signal. She thought tuna was chicken until second grade because that’s what her mom kept telling her, so she’d eat a tuna salad sandwich on a snowflake roll with the family. I watched her debate it with our teacher. We had a lesson on the ocean and the kinds of fish and mammals that live there. I’m still impressed to this day because eventually, Mr. Marshall threw up his white flag.

But look at her now. Besides the fact that she had the “Chicken of the Sea” debate far before Jessica Simpson, she’s grown into such a stunning, intelligent, and successful woman. [Groom], you’re a lucky, lucky fellow. She will devote the same love and commitment that I’ve felt from her over the years to you, and that is priceless.

Congratulations [Bride] & [Groom], I wish you infinite years of happiness.”

FUNNIEST SISTER OF THE BRIDE SPEECH EXAMPLE – RAP STYLE

This sister of the bride speech is so clever, funny, inspirational and full of love. It’s a sister of the bride speech rapped to Eminem’s song. You have to watch this hilarious sister of the bride toast.

FATHER OF THE BRIDE GIVES FUNNY SPEECH

The father of the bride speech typically makes wedding guests shed a few tears. But this father presented a toast that was heartfelt and funny. If you are looking for father of the bride speeches check this one out!

A FEW KEY WEDDING TOAST TIPS

When preparing your wedding toast, think about your relationship with the bride or groom. Find a quiet place to write down your history: how you met, favorite memories, what you’ve been through. You’re pretty much guaranteed to find something sweet or funny to talk about.
Remember to consider the bride and groom’s actual relationship. While your speech is going to mainly be about one of them, it’s still essential to talk about the new spouse.
Humor is always a good thing. Making people laugh helps them relax, listen to what you’re saying, and like you! If you can, begin your speech with a funny story or joke, just remember to keep it PG!
Be sincere! As maid of honor or best man, it can be tempting to “dig” at the happy couple, but keep in mind that this is an extraordinary day for them. While humor is important, it shouldn’t override making the couple feel special. Keep this in mind when choosing stories!
Preparation is just as necessary as inspiration. Write down the entire thing or make notes, but no matter what, don’t wing the darn thing! That only works in movies–in real life, it can lead to disaster.
Keep it short and sweet. Three minutes is generally ideal, and definitely don’t go longer than five!
Say thanks. Thank whoever is hosting the occasion, whether it’s the parents, the couple, or someone else

Most of all, remember to relax and have a great time!

100 Wedding Toasts to Inspire Your Perfect Speech

Wedding guides.

May 31, 2024

100 Wedding Toasts to Inspire Your Perfect Speech

Founder of Bridesmaid for Hire
Creator of the #1 Speech & Vow Writing Tools
Author of Always a Bridesmaid (for Hire)
Creator of 1-800-Bridesmaid

Hi! I'm Jen Glantz

Hi, Friend! Jen Glantz here. Let’s dive into 100 wedding toast example s that can inspire your perfect speech. Writing a wedding toast can be an intimidating task, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or a close friend of the couple, having a well-prepared toast can make all the difference in setting the tone for a memorable celebration. This extensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know about crafting the perfect wedding toast, providing you with 70 examples across various categories to suit any wedding style.

In this comprehensive blog, we’ll cover the essential criteria for a memorable wedding toast , from understanding the structure and flow to incorporating personal anecdotes and humor. You’ll learn how to balance sentimentality with lighthearted moments, ensuring your toast resonates with the couple and the audience. We will provide detailed examples, categorized to fit different personalities and wedding themes, whether traditional, modern, humorous, or sentimental.

First things first, let’s talk about the basics. Here are some resources to check-out that can help you with all aspects of your maid of honor speech.

Need help? Try out wedding speech writing tool . It turns your stories into a well-written maid of honor speech.
Want to engage the audience? Book a 1:1 speech delivery session . We’ll coach you on how to make your jokes land and be your practice buddy.

Let’s dive in and explore the art of writing a wedding toast, so you can raise your glass with pride and make this special moment truly remarkable!

Table of Contents

Understand the criteria for a memorable wedding toast: personal connection, length and structure, tone and audience, practice and delivery.
Explore various types of wedding toasts: traditional, humorous, emotional, quirky, and cultural.
Use wedding toast templates and quotes to enhance your speech.
Practice your toast multiple times to ensure smooth delivery.
Bridesmaid for Hire offers services to write personalized wedding toast s and provides public speaking coaching for confident delivery.

Crafting a Memorable Wedding Toast

Crafting a truly unforgettable wedding toast is an art that involves weaving together several essential elements. These key criteria ensure that your words resonate not only with the couple but also with everyone gathered to celebrate their love and union. Let’s delve into each of these criteria to understand how they contribute to creating a toast that leaves a lasting impression:

Personal Connection

To make your toast meaningful, it should reflect your relationship with the couple. Use specific anecdotes or stories that highlight your connection. For example, you could share a funny story about how you met the groom in college and instantly knew he would make an amazing husband one day. Or recount a touching moment when the bride was there for you during a difficult time, showcasing her compassion and loyalty. The more personal and unique the details, the more heartfelt and genuine your toast will be.

Length and Structure

Your toast should be concise, usually around 3-5 minutes. Any longer and you risk losing the audience’s attention. To keep your toast focused and impactful, structure it with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with an attention-grabbing introduction, like a quote about love or marriage. Then share your main story or message in the body. Finally, conclude with a heartfelt wish for the couple’s future together. Having a solid structure will help you stay on track and avoid awkward tangents.

Tone and Audience

The right tone is key for a great wedding toast. You want to balance humor with sincerity. A few lighthearted jokes can help put everyone at ease, but don’t let them overshadow the heartfelt sentiment. It’s also crucial to consider your audience. A room full of grandparents and young children may not appreciate off-color humor or inside jokes. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and keep things respectful and inclusive.

The Knot has a great guide on what to say and not say in a wedding toast.

Practice and Delivery

Even the most beautifully written toast can fall flat without practice and good delivery. Rehearse your toast multiple times leading up to the big day. Read it out loud to get a feel for the pacing and flow. Practice making eye contact while you speak, rather than staring down at your notes. Focus on projecting your voice so those in the back can hear you. The more comfortable and confident you appear, the more engaged your audience will be. With enough practice, you’ll be able to deliver your toast smoothly and genuinely.

10 Traditional Wedding Toast Examples

Traditional wedding toasts are often short and sweet, focusing on universal themes of love, happiness, and the future ahead. They are timeless and heartfelt, capturing the essence of the occasion while conveying genuine emotions and well-wishes. These toasts are perfect for expressing your joy and admiration for the newlyweds in a concise and meaningful way. Here are some examples:

1. Best Man – Sentimental

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m [Best Man’s Name], the best man and, more importantly, a lifelong friend of [Groom’s Name]. It’s an absolute honor to stand here today and share a few words about my best friend and his incredible bride.

[Groom’s Name] and I have been through thick and thin together. We’ve shared countless adventures, from our mischievous school days to our wild college years. Through it all, [Groom’s Name] has always been the one constant in my life, a friend who would drop everything to help you out, no questions asked.

When [Groom’s Name] met [Bride’s Name], it was clear that something special was happening. I’ve never seen him so happy, so full of life. [Bride’s Name], you’ve brought out the best in him, and for that, I am eternally grateful. You complement each other perfectly, and it’s evident that your love is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and an abundance of laughter.

As I look at both of you today, I see a future filled with joy, adventure, and love. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness, to creating memories that will last a lifetime, and to always finding strength in each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses and join me in toasting the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with love and endless laughter. Cheers!

2. Maid of Honor – Humorous

Hello, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Maid of Honor’s Name], the maid of honor and [Bride’s Name]’s best friend. Today is a special day, and I promise to keep this toast short and sweet, just like [Bride’s Name].

I’ve known [Bride’s Name] for years, and let me tell you, she is one of the most amazing, funny, and slightly crazy people I know. We’ve shared countless memories, from late-night talks to our many misadventures that I probably shouldn’t mention here. But through it all, [Bride’s Name] has always been there for me, and I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

When [Bride’s Name] met [Groom’s Name], I knew something was different. Suddenly, she had this sparkle in her eye, and she couldn’t stop talking about this incredible guy she had met. [Groom’s Name], you are truly special, and it’s clear you make [Bride’s Name] incredibly happy.

Now, as we celebrate this beautiful union, I want to share a little advice with the happy couple. Remember, marriage is a partnership, and it’s essential to keep the romance alive. So, [Groom’s Name], don’t forget to bring home flowers for no reason, and [Bride’s Name], always pretend to love his cooking, even when it’s a disaster.

So, here’s to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with love, laughter, and endless adventures. Cheers!

3. Father of the Bride – Proud and Emotional

Good evening, everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Father’s Name], the proud father of the beautiful bride. Today is a day of immense joy and pride for me as I witness my daughter, [Bride’s Name], marry the love of her life.

From the moment [Bride’s Name] was born, she has been a source of immense pride and joy for our family. Watching her grow into the amazing woman she is today has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. She is strong, intelligent, kind, and beautiful inside and out.

When [Bride’s Name] introduced us to [Groom’s Name], I knew immediately that he was special. He has a kind heart, a good soul, and it’s clear that he loves my daughter deeply. [Groom’s Name], thank you for making [Bride’s Name] so happy and for becoming a part of our family.

As you embark on this new journey together, I want to share a piece of advice that has served me well in my own marriage: always communicate openly, support each other through thick and thin, and never forget to laugh together. Life will bring its challenges, but with love and commitment, you can overcome anything.

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with love, joy, and endless happiness. Cheers!

4. Mother of the Groom – Warm and Welcoming

Hello, everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Mother’s Name], the proud mother of the groom. Today is a day of joy and celebration as we witness the union of two wonderful people, [Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name].

[Groom’s Name] has always been a source of immense pride for our family. He is compassionate, hardworking, and has a heart of gold. Watching him grow into the man he is today has been one of the greatest joys of my life. And now, seeing him marry the love of his life fills my heart with even more happiness.

[Bride’s Name], from the moment we met you, we knew you were special. You bring out the best in [Groom’s Name], and it’s clear that you two are a perfect match. You are kind, loving, and have become an integral part of our family. We are so grateful to have you as our daughter-in-law.

As you embark on this new chapter together, I want to share a little wisdom that has been passed down in our family: always cherish each other, never take each other for granted, and remember to show appreciation every day. Love is a beautiful journey, and it’s the little moments that make it truly special.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses and join me in toasting the newlyweds, [Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name]. May your life together be filled with endless love, joy, and laughter. Cheers!

5. Best Friend – Touching and Personal

Good evening, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Best Friend’s Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name] for many years. Today is an incredibly special day, and I’m honored to stand here and share a few words about these two amazing people.

[Bride’s Name] and I have shared so many wonderful memories together. We’ve laughed, cried, and supported each other through life’s ups and downs. She is one of the most genuine, kind-hearted, and beautiful souls I know. And when she met [Groom’s Name], I knew she had found someone who truly appreciates and loves her for who she is.

[Groom’s Name], you have not only become a great friend to me but also the perfect partner for [Bride’s Name]. Your love and commitment to each other are truly inspiring. Together, you make a fantastic team, and it’s clear that you bring out the best in each other.

As you embark on this new journey as husband and wife, I want to offer a piece of advice that I’ve learned from my own experiences: always communicate openly and honestly, support each other’s dreams, and never forget to make time for fun and laughter. Marriage is a beautiful adventure, and with love and dedication, it only gets better with time.

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with love, happiness, and countless cherished moments. Cheers!

6. Sibling – Heartfelt and Fun

Hello, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Sibling’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s sibling. Today is a day of immense joy and celebration, and I couldn’t be happier to stand here and share a few words about my amazing sister and her wonderful husband, [Groom’s Name].

Growing up with [Bride’s Name] was always an adventure. From our childhood antics to our teenage shenanigans, we’ve shared so many incredible memories. [Bride’s Name], you have always been my best friend, my confidant, and my partner in crime. You are strong, beautiful, and have a heart of gold.

When [Bride’s Name] met [Groom’s Name], it was clear that they were meant to be. [Groom’s Name], you have become a brother to me, and I am so grateful for the love and happiness you bring to my sister’s life. Together, you make a fantastic couple, and it’s clear that your love is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and endless laughter.

As you embark on this new chapter together, I want to share a piece of advice that has always been important in our family: always support each other, communicate openly, and never forget to have fun. Life is full of challenges, but with love and commitment, you can overcome anything.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses and join me in toasting the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with love, joy, and endless adventures. Cheers!

7. Close Friend – Inspirational and Warm

Good evening, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Friend’s Name], a close friend of both [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. It is an absolute honor to stand here today and celebrate the love and commitment of two incredible people.

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name] for many years, and their love story is truly inspiring.

They are both kind, compassionate, and have hearts of gold. Watching their relationship grow and flourish has been a joy, and it’s clear that they are a perfect match.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], you have shown us all what true love looks like. Your unwavering support for each other, your ability to find joy in the little things, and your commitment to always lifting each other up are qualities that we all admire.

As you embark on this new journey together, I want to share a piece of wisdom that has always resonated with me: love is not just about finding the right person, but about being the right person. Continue to nurture your love, communicate openly, and always strive to be the best partners you can be.

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with endless love, joy, and cherished moments. Cheers!

8. Cousin – Nostalgic and Loving

Hello, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Cousin’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s cousin. Today is a day of immense joy and celebration, and I am so grateful to be here to witness the union of two amazing people.

Growing up with [Bride’s Name] was always an adventure. From our family gatherings to our late-night talks, we’ve shared so many wonderful memories. [Bride’s Name], you have always been more than just a cousin to me; you are a sister and a dear friend. You are kind, beautiful, and have a heart of gold.

When [Bride’s Name] met [Groom’s Name], it was clear that they were meant to be. [Groom’s Name], you have become a part of our family, and we are so grateful for the love and happiness you bring to [Bride’s Name]’s life. Together, you make a fantastic couple, and it’s clear that your love is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and endless laughter.

9. College Friend – Fun and Light-hearted

Hello, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Friend’s Name], and I had the pleasure of meeting [Groom’s Name] during our college years. It’s an honor to stand here today and share a few words about my great friend and his wonderful bride, [Bride’s Name].

College was a time of discovery, late-night study sessions, and unforgettable memories. [Groom’s Name] and I shared many of those moments together, and I can honestly say that he is one of the most genuine and kind-hearted people I’ve ever met. He was always the life of the party, but also the first to lend a helping hand when you needed it.

When [Groom’s Name] met [Bride’s Name], we all noticed a change in him. He was happier, more grounded, and completely smitten. [Bride’s Name], you have brought out the best in [Groom’s Name], and for that, we are all incredibly grateful. Together, you make an amazing couple, and it’s clear that your love is built on a strong foundation of friendship and mutual respect.

As you embark on this new chapter together, I want to offer a little advice: never stop having fun. Keep the spark alive, continue to laugh together, and always cherish the moments that make your love unique.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses and join me in toasting the newlyweds, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. May your life together be filled with endless joy, love, and laughter. Cheers!

10. Aunt/Uncle – Wise and Encouraging

Good evening, everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Aunt/Uncle’s Name], and I have the great honor of being [Bride’s/Groom’s Name]’s aunt/uncle. Today is a day of immense joy as we celebrate the union of two wonderful people.

I’ve had the pleasure of watching [Bride’s/Groom’s Name] grow into the amazing person they are today. They have always been a source of pride and joy for our family, and seeing them find true love with [Groom’s/Bride’s Name] is a blessing beyond words.

[Bride’s/Groom’s Name], from the moment we met you, we knew you were special. You bring out the best in [Bride’s/Groom’s Name], and it’s clear that you two are a perfect match. Together, you have a love that is strong, pure, and inspiring.

As you embark on this new journey together, I want to share a piece of wisdom that has been important in our family: always nurture your love, communicate openly, and support each other through life’s challenges. Marriage is a partnership, and with love and dedication, you can overcome anything.

These traditional toasts are classic for a reason – they’re simple, easy to remember, and universally relatable. They focus on the key elements of a happy marriage: love, laughter, and companionship. Delivering one of these tried-and-true blessings is a surefire way to wish the couple well.

How to Personalize Traditional Toasts

While traditional toasts are often generic, you can personalize them by adding specific anecdotes or stories about the couple. For instance, after delivering the classic line “to love, laughter, and happily ever after,” you could follow up with a story that embodies those qualities. Maybe it’s the time the groom accidentally wore mismatched shoes to his first date with the bride, proving that laughter has been a key part of their relationship from the start. Or perhaps you recount how the bride nursed her partner through a serious illness, exemplifying the depth of their love and commitment. Adding these personal touches will make even the most traditional toast feel unique and meaningful to the couple and the audience.

10 Humorous Wedding Toast Examples

Adding a touch of humor to your wedding toast can make the moment memorable and bring joy to the celebration. Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or a close friend, a funny toast can break the ice and get everyone laughing. Not only does a humorous toast lighten the mood, but it also helps everyone feel more relaxed and engaged. It’s a great way to highlight the fun side of the couple’s relationship and to share amusing anecdotes that everyone can enjoy.

When crafting a humorous wedding toast, it’s important to balance the jokes with heartfelt sentiments. You want to make sure that the humor is appropriate and that it complements the love and respect you have for the couple. A well-delivered funny toast can leave a lasting impression and create a memorable experience for everyone present. To help you get started, here are 10 full-length examples of humorous wedding toasts to inspire you:

1: Best Man – Lighthearted and Fun

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Best Man’s Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of knowing [Groom’s Name] since our college days. I’ve seen him do some pretty incredible things, like the time he tried to cook pasta without water. But today, I’m witnessing his most amazing feat yet: marrying the love of his life, [Bride’s Name].

[Groom’s Name], I always knew you’d find someone who could tolerate your snoring, your obsession with fantasy football, and your questionable dance moves. And [Bride’s Name], you are a saint for loving him through it all. Here’s to love, laughter, and a happily ever after. Cheers!

2: Maid of Honor – Witty and Charming

Good evening, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Maid of Honor’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s best friend and partner in crime. I remember the first time [Bride’s Name] mentioned [Groom’s Name]. She said, “He’s the one.” And I thought, “The one what? The one who’s going to eat all your fries?”

But seriously, seeing you two together has restored my faith in love and maybe even in fairy tales. [Groom’s Name], you’ve found a princess, and [Bride’s Name], you’ve found your prince… or at least a guy who won’t mind watching Disney movies with you. Here’s to a lifetime of magical moments. Cheers!

3: Father of the Bride – Amusing and Endearing

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Father’s Name], proud father of the beautiful bride. When [Bride’s Name] was a little girl, she used to tell me she wanted to marry someone just like me. Well, [Groom’s Name], I guess you’re stuck with her now!

In all seriousness, I couldn’t have asked for a better person to marry my daughter. [Groom’s Name], welcome to the family. [Bride’s Name], you’ve always made me proud. Here’s to the two of you sharing a lifetime of love, laughter, and endless dad jokes. Cheers!

4: Sister of the Groom – Playful and Sweet

Hello, everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Sister’s Name], [Groom’s Name]’s sister. Growing up with [Groom’s Name] was like living with a tornado. A very messy, very noisy tornado. But today, he’s finally met his match in the calm and collected [Bride’s Name].

[Bride’s Name], I hope you’re ready for a lifetime of misplaced socks, burnt toast, and spontaneous dance parties. But I know you two will tackle everything together with love and laughter. Here’s to the whirlwind romance of [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. Cheers!

5: Friend of the Bride – Sarcastic and Heartfelt

Hi, everyone! I’m [Friend’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s friend and confidant. When [Bride’s Name] first told me about [Groom’s Name], I thought, “Great, another guy who’s going to steal my friend away.” But then I met him, and I thought, “Okay, maybe he’s worth it.”

[Groom’s Name], you’ve not only stolen [Bride’s Name]’s heart but also her terrible taste in reality TV shows. But I couldn’t be happier for you both. Here’s to a lifetime of bad TV, great love, and endless laughter. Cheers!

6: Mother of the Groom – Funny and Affectionate

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Mother’s Name], [Groom’s Name]’s proud mother. When [Groom’s Name] was born, I never imagined he’d grow up to marry someone as wonderful as [Bride’s Name]. Mostly because he refused to wear pants for the first five years of his life.

[Bride’s Name], you’ve brought out the best in my son. [Groom’s Name], always remember how lucky you are. And [Bride’s Name], always remind him of how lucky he is. Here’s to a future filled with love, laughter, and pants. Cheers!

7: Brother of the Bride – Hilarious and Honest

Hi, everyone! I’m [Brother’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s brother. Growing up with [Bride’s Name] was like living with a tornado. A very neat, very bossy tornado. But today, I see her marrying someone who can handle all that and more: [Groom’s Name].

[Groom’s Name], welcome to the family. You’ve got a lifetime of unsolicited advice ahead of you. [Bride’s Name], you’ve found your perfect match. Here’s to the whirlwind of love that is [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. Cheers!

8: College Friend – Humorous and Heartfelt

Hello, everyone! I’m [Friend’s Name], and I’ve known [Groom’s Name] since college. We’ve shared many late-night study sessions, epic parties, and questionable decisions. But marrying [Bride’s Name] is by far the best decision he’s ever made.

[Bride’s Name], you’ve not only captured [Groom’s Name]’s heart but also his ability to make everything a competition. Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and friendly rivalry. Cheers!

9: Co-worker – Funny and Genuine

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Co-worker’s Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of working with [Groom’s Name] for the past few years. If you’ve ever seen him at work, you know he’s dedicated, hardworking, and always up for a challenge. Except when it comes to keeping his desk clean.

[Bride’s Name], you’ve taken on the ultimate challenge: loving [Groom’s Name]. And you’re doing an amazing job. Here’s to a future filled with love, laughter, and maybe a little more organization. Cheers!

10: Neighbor – Amusing and Warm

Hello, everyone! I’m [Neighbor’s Name], and I’ve had the joy of living next door to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. I’ve seen their love grow through shared dinners, loud game nights, and the occasional borrowed lawnmower.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], you’ve built a beautiful life together, one that’s filled with love and laughter. Here’s to many more years of neighborly love and joy. Cheers!

Balancing Humor and Sincerity

When delivering a humorous toast, it’s essential to balance the jokes with sincerity to ensure the couple feels honored and respected. Aim for a 70/30 split, with the majority of your toast focused on heartfelt sentiment. You can start off with a few lighthearted lines to get the crowd laughing, but then pivot to sharing what you genuinely love and admire about the couple.

For example, you might make a joke about how the groom’s dance moves at the reception prove he’s finally overcome his fear of rhythm. But then use that as a segue to talk about how he’s courageously overcome other obstacles in life with his partner’s steadfast support. Or poke fun at the bride’s obsession with color-coding everything for the wedding, but then highlight how that attention to detail is one of the many reasons she’ll make an incredible wife and partner.

Remember, a bit of humor is the icing on the wedding cake, but sincerity is the rich, delicious layers underneath. Make sure your toast reflects that balance.

10 Emotional Wedding Toast Examples

Emotional wedding toasts can create a memorable and touching moment. Here are some examples:

Wedding toasts that are heartfelt and emotional can touch the hearts of everyone present, leaving a lasting impression on the happy couple and their guests. These toasts are perfect for expressing deep love, gratitude, and well-wishes. Here are 10 full-length examples of emotional wedding toasts to inspire you:

1: Best Man – Deeply Moving

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please. I’m [Best Man’s Name], and I’ve known [Groom’s Name] for many years. Today, I stand before you to celebrate the beautiful union of [Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name]. [Groom’s Name], you’ve been a brother to me, and seeing you find the love of your life fills my heart with joy.

[Bride’s Name], you are the perfect match for [Groom’s Name]. Together, you create a love that is inspiring and true. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness, love, and endless memories. Cheers!

2: Maid of Honor – Heartfelt and Sincere

Good evening, everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Maid of Honor’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s best friend. Growing up, [Bride’s Name] and I shared countless dreams about our future. Today, seeing her marry [Groom’s Name], I know that one of those dreams has come true in the most beautiful way.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], your love for each other is a testament to the power of true partnership. May you always find joy in each other’s arms and strength in your love. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness together. Cheers!

3: Father of the Bride – Emotional and Proud

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Father’s Name], the proud father of the beautiful bride. [Bride’s Name], from the moment you were born, you have been the light of my life. Seeing you marry [Groom’s Name] today fills me with immense pride and joy.

[Groom’s Name], welcome to our family. I know that together, you and [Bride’s Name] will create a life filled with love, laughter, and endless happiness. Here’s to your beautiful journey ahead. Cheers!

4: Sister of the Groom – Touching and Warm

Hello, everyone. I’m [Sister’s Name], [Groom’s Name]’s sister. Growing up with [Groom’s Name] has been a blessing. He’s always been my protector, my confidant, and my best friend. Today, I see him marrying the love of his life, [Bride’s Name], and my heart overflows with joy.

[Bride’s Name], you bring out the best in [Groom’s Name], and together, you create a love that is pure and beautiful. Here’s to a lifetime of love, joy, and unforgettable moments. Cheers!

5: Mother of the Groom – Sentimental and Loving

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Mother’s Name], [Groom’s Name]’s mother. From the moment [Groom’s Name] was born, he has been my pride and joy. Today, I see him standing beside the love of his life, [Bride’s Name], and I couldn’t be happier.

[Bride’s Name], you are a wonderful addition to our family. Together, you and [Groom’s Name] create a love that is strong and enduring. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and cherished memories. Cheers!

6: Brother of the Bride – Emotional and Heartwarming

Hi, everyone. I’m [Brother’s Name], [Bride’s Name]’s brother. Growing up with [Bride’s Name] has been an incredible journey. She has always been my rock, my friend, and my guide. Seeing her marry [Groom’s Name] today fills me with immense pride and happiness.

[Groom’s Name], you have found a treasure in [Bride’s Name], and I know that together, you will create a life filled with love and joy. Here’s to your beautiful journey ahead. Cheers!

7: College Friend – Moving and Heartfelt

Hello, everyone. I’m [Friend’s Name], and I’ve known [Groom’s Name] since college. We’ve shared countless memories, dreams, and aspirations. Today, seeing him marry the love of his life, [Bride’s Name], fills my heart with joy.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], your love is a beautiful testament to the power of true partnership. May your life together be filled with endless love, joy, and unforgettable moments. Here’s to your future. Cheers!

8: Co-worker – Genuine and Heartfelt

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Co-worker’s Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of working with [Groom’s Name] for the past few years. During this time, I’ve seen his dedication, hard work, and incredible spirit. Today, I see him marry the love of his life, [Bride’s Name], and I couldn’t be happier for them.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], your love for each other is inspiring. Here’s to a future filled with love, happiness, and endless joy. Cheers!

9: Neighbor – Touching and Genuine

Hello, everyone. I’m [Neighbor’s Name], and I’ve had the joy of living next door to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. I’ve seen their love grow through shared dinners, game nights, and the occasional borrowed lawnmower. Their love is genuine and beautiful.

[Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], you’ve built a life together filled with love and happiness. Here’s to many more years of joy and cherished moments. Cheers!

10: Childhood Friend – Deeply Emotional

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Friend’s Name], and I’ve known [Bride’s Name] since we were children. We’ve shared countless memories, dreams, and aspirations. Today, seeing her marry [Groom’s Name] fills my heart with joy and pride.

Tips for Delivering an Emotional Toast

Delivering an emotional toast can be challenging. It’s easy to get choked up or overwhelmed by the significance of the moment. Here are some tips to help you maintain composure and deliver your heartfelt message effectively:

1. Practice, practice, practice. Rehearse your toast multiple times leading up to the wedding day. The more familiar you are with your words, the less likely you are to get tripped up by emotions in the moment.

2. Write it down. Even if you plan to speak from the heart, having a written version of your toast can be a helpful safety net. You can refer to it if you lose your place or get too emotional.

3. Take deep breaths. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed during your toast, pause and take a few slow, deep breaths. This will help you center yourself and regain composure.

4. Speak slowly and clearly. When we’re emotional, we tend to speak quickly or mumble. Make a conscious effort to slow down your speech and enunciate each word. This will make your toast easier for the audience to understand, even if your voice is shaking with emotion.

5. Embrace the emotion. Remember, it’s okay to get choked up or even shed a few tears during your toast. Your emotional response is a testament to the depth of your love and affection for the couple. So don’t be afraid to let your feelings show – it will only make your words that much more meaningful.

The most important thing is that your toast comes from a place of sincere love and support for the newlyweds. If you speak from the heart, even if your voice shakes or you shed a few tears, your message will resonate with the couple and the audience.

Quirky and Unique Wedding Toasts

Crafting a quirky and unique wedding toast is an art form that can truly captivate the audience and make your speech stand out as a memorable highlight of the celebration. Let’s explore several examples of quirky and unique wedding toasts that are sure to leave a lasting impression:

1. **The Storyteller’s Delight:** Imagine starting your toast with a whimsical tale about how the couple’s love story unfolded, sprinkled with magical elements and humorous twists. You could narrate their meeting as if it were a fairy tale, with unexpected characters and plot twists that lead to their happily ever after. This storytelling approach adds an element of fantasy and delight to your toast, engaging the audience’s imagination and setting a playful tone for the rest of your speech.

2. **The Songbird Serenade:** For a musical twist, consider crafting a wedding toast in the form of a song or a parody of a popular tune. You could rewrite the lyrics to reflect the couple’s journey together, incorporating inside jokes and heartfelt sentiments. Singing your toast or enlisting the help of a musical friend adds a dynamic and entertaining element to the celebration, leaving the audience humming along and smiling at the personalized lyrics.

3. **The Culinary Connoisseur’s Tribute:** If the couple shares a love for food and culinary adventures, why not create a wedding toast inspired by their favorite dishes and dining experiences? You could metaphorically compare their relationship to a delectable recipe, highlighting the perfect blend of ingredients that make their love so special. Incorporate food-related anecdotes and analogies that showcase their unique flavors and shared culinary adventures, adding a deliciously quirky touch to your toast.

4. **The Time Traveler’s Journey:** Transport the audience through time with a whimsical toast that imagines the couple’s future together in different eras or settings. Picture them as adventurers exploring ancient civilizations, futuristic worlds, or even alternate realities where their love remains constant and enduring. Use vivid descriptions and creative storytelling to paint a vivid picture of their journey through time, weaving in humorous anecdotes and heartfelt wishes for their timeless love story.

5. **The Quirky Quiz Show:** Turn your wedding toast into an interactive quiz show that tests the audience’s knowledge of the couple’s quirks and idiosyncrasies. Ask fun trivia questions about their favorite hobbies, inside jokes, and memorable moments together, encouraging guests to participate and laugh along. Incorporate prizes or funny penalties for correct and incorrect answers, adding an element of lighthearted competition and entertainment to your toast.

6. **The Literary Lover’s Tribute:** Craft a wedding toast inspired by famous literary works or genres that resonate with the couple’s interests and personalities. You could incorporate quotes from beloved books, poetry readings, or even create a short story that mirrors their own narrative. Infuse your toast with literary flair and eloquence, celebrating their love story through the timeless language of literature.

7. **The Retro Revival:** Take a trip down memory lane by infusing your wedding toast with nostalgic references from past decades or iconic pop culture moments. Incorporate retro-themed props, costumes, or references that reflect the couple’s shared nostalgia and fond memories. Whether it’s a throwback to the ’80s, ’90s, or any other era they cherish, adding a touch of retro charm to your toast creates a fun and memorable experience for everyone.

8. **The Nature’s Symphony:** Embrace the beauty of nature in your wedding toast by drawing parallels between the couple’s love and the natural world. Use metaphors inspired by elements like seasons, flowers, or celestial bodies to symbolize their journey together. For example, compare their love to a blooming garden, with each season representing a different phase of growth and renewal. Incorporate nature-inspired imagery and poetic language to evoke a sense of awe and beauty in your toast.

9. **The Tech-savvy Tribute:** If the couple shares a passion for technology and innovation, consider incorporating tech-themed elements into your wedding toast. Use digital presentations, interactive gadgets, or playful references to tech trends and gadgets that hold significance for the couple. Create a virtual journey through their relationship milestones, highlighting how technology has played a role in bringing them closer together in this digital age.

10. **The Cultural Celebration:** Celebrate the couple’s diverse backgrounds or shared cultural heritage in your wedding toast by incorporating traditions, customs, or language that hold special meaning for them. Pay homage to their roots with music, dance, or rituals that reflect their cultural identity and values. Embrace multiculturalism and inclusivity in your toast, fostering a sense of unity and celebration of diversity within the wedding festivities.

Each of these quirky and unique wedding toast ideas offers a creative and personalized way to celebrate the couple’s love and entertain the audience. Choose the approach that resonates most with the couple’s personalities and interests, adding your own heartfelt touch to create a truly unforgettable toast that will be cherished for years to come.

10 Examples of Quirky Wedding Toasts

Embarking on a journey to create a memorable and quirky wedding toast is like sprinkling a touch of whimsy and laughter into a momentous celebration of love. In this collection, you’ll discover ten delightful examples of quirky wedding toasts that are sure to bring smiles, chuckles, and heartfelt warmth to the newlyweds and guests alike. From humorous anecdotes to clever wordplay and unexpected twists, these toasts offer a refreshing and light-hearted take on celebrating love and partnership. So, grab your glass, raise it high, and let’s dive into a world of charming quirkiness and joyful celebration!

Toasting to Fine Wine Love

“To [Bride] and [Groom]: May your love be like a fine wine – complex, intoxicating, and only getting better with age. And may you always have a well-stocked cellar to keep the romance flowing.”

Cheers to Wild Adventures

“Here’s to a lifetime of adventures, inside jokes, and never having to share the remote. May your marriage be as wild and wonderful as your first date at that weird underground art show.”

A Fairy Tale Written by a Mad Scientist

“In a world full of ordinary love stories, yours is a fairy tale written by a mad scientist. It’s quirky, it’s unpredictable, and it’s 100% uniquely you. Here’s to embracing the beautiful weirdness of your love.”

Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Marriage

“To the bride and groom: May your marriage be like a thrilling choose-your-own-adventure novel, filled with plot twists, surprise endings, and always landing on the page that says ‘happily ever after.'”

Embracing Quirks and Delightful Weirdness

“Love is patient, love is kind, and apparently love is also really into [Groom’s unique hobby/interest]. [Bride], thank you for embracing all of [Groom’s] quirks and loving him for the delightfully weird human he is. And [Groom], thank you for finding someone who gets your brand of crazy. You two are proof that there’s a lid for every pot.”

A Best-Selling Love Story

“May your love story be a best-selling novel full of passion, comedy, and the occasional plot twist. And may the sequel be even better than the original.”

Quirky Couple in Life’s Rom-Com

“In the great romantic comedy of life, you two are the quirky couple that everyone’s rooting for. Keep writing your own script, keep laughing at your own jokes, and keep showing the world what true love looks like. Cheers!”

Ultimate #RelationshipGoals

“To [Bride] and [Groom], the Pam to my Jim, the cheese to my macaroni, the Netflix to my chill: Thank you for being the ultimate #RelationshipGoals. May your love be as evergreen as an episode of The Office.”

Finishing Each Other’s Sandwiches

“Here’s to a lifetime of finishing each other’s sandwiches and being each other’s lobsters. May your love be as strong as [Groom’s] coffee and as sweet as [Bride’s] famous chocolate chip cookies.”

Game Night Love

“To [Bride] and [Groom], may your life together be like a thrilling game night: full of laughter, healthy competition, and the occasional heated debate over Monopoly rules. Remember, in love and in board games, the goal is to have fun and enjoy the person you’re playing with.”

These quirky toasts think outside the box, drawing on the couple’s unique interests, inside jokes, and pop culture references. They’re equal parts clever and heartfelt, engaging the audience with their creativity while still expressing genuine affection for the newlyweds. The key is to tailor the quirkiness to the couple’s personalities, ensuring the toast feels special and authentic to their love story.

Engaging Your Audience with Unique Toasts

The best wedding toasts are the ones that captivate the audience from start to finish. A unique, personalized toast is more likely to grab and hold everyone’s attention than generic platitudes. Here are some tips for crafting a toast that will have the crowd hanging on your every word:

1. Tell a story. People love a good narrative, so weave a compelling story into your toast. It could be the tale of how the couple met, a funny anecdote from their courtship, or a heartwarming moment that encapsulates their love.

2. Use vivid details. Don’t just say the couple’s love is inspiring – paint a picture of how they inspire you. Describe the way they look at each other, the little gestures of affection they share, the laughter that fills the room when they’re together. The more specific and vivid your details, the more engaged your audience will be.

3. Incorporate audience participation. Get the crowd involved in your toast! You could ask them to raise their glasses every time you mention the word “love,” or have them join in on a meaningful quote or song lyric.

4. Get creative with structure. Who says your toast has to follow the standard introduction-body-conclusion format? You could frame your speech as a top 10 list, a mock news report, or even a mini skit. Just make sure your creative structure enhances your message rather than overshadowing it.

5. Make it personal. Above all, your toast should be a reflection of your unique relationship with the couple. Share stories, jokes, and sentiments that could only come from you. The more personal your toast, the more memorable it will be for the couple and the audience.

Remember, a little creativity goes a long way in making your toast stand out. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and let your personality shine through. As long as your toast comes from a place of love and sincerity, you can’t go wrong.

Quick Resources:

Use our Speech and Vow Generator: Write an engaging wedding toast that’s guaranteed to be memorable (for the right reasons).
Book a Wedding Speech Coaching session : Get expert help on how to deliver your speech so the jokes land and the audience listens.

Cultural Wedding Toasts

Cultural wedding toasts honor traditions and add a unique element to the celebration. Here are some examples:

1. **Irish Blessing**: “May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

2. **Jewish Toast**: “ Mazel tov! May you be like Ruth and Boaz, may you be deserving of praise. Strengthen them, Oh Lord, and give them life that is long. May this couple be blessed with happiness all life long.”

3. **Spanish Toast**: “Que vuestro amor sea infinito, que dure para siempre. Que vuestros esfuerzos sean compartidos, y que vuestra felicidad sea la prioridad en vuestras vidas. ¡Vivan los novios!” (May your love be infinite, may it last forever. May your efforts be shared, and may your happiness be the priority in your lives. Long live the newlyweds!)

4. **African American Toast**: “ To \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], as you embark on this journey of marriage, may you always remember the love, strength, and resilience of those who came before you. May your love for each other be a reflection of the love that has sustained our community for generations. To Black love, family, and joy – may they be the cornerstones of your marriage.”

5. **Chinese Toast**: “Xǐshǒu yī bēi, zhù nǐmen bǎinián hǎo hé. Aìqíng ru jiǔ, yuè jiǔ yuè nóngliè!” (Let’s propose a toast, wishing you a harmonious union for a hundred years. May your love be like wine, growing stronger as it ages!)

6. **Mexican Toast**: “¡Arriba, abajo, al centro, pa’ dentro! ¡Viva los novios! Que su amor sea fuerte como el tequila, dulce como la miel, y que dure para siempre. ¡Salud!” (Glasses up, down, to the center, drink up! Long live the newlyweds! May your love be as strong as tequila, sweet as honey, and may it last forever. Cheers!)

7. **Filipino Toast**: “Mabuhay ang bagong kasal! Ang pag-ibig ninyo ay parang kanin, laging mainit at laging punung-puno. Sana ay pagpalain kayo ng Diyos ng walang hanggang pagmamahalan.” (Long live the newlyweds! May your love be like rice, always warm and always plentiful. May God bless you with everlasting love.)

8. **Greek Toast**: “Stin ygeia sas! Na zisete, na agapate, ki’ o ouranos na einai panta galanos gi’ afto to zeygari!” (To your health! May you live, may you love, and may the sky always be blue for this couple!)

9. **German Toast**: “ Ein Toast auf das Brautpaar! Möge eure Liebe so stark sein wie deutsches Bier, so beständig wie eine Schwarzwälder Kirsch, und so tief wie der Rhein. Prost!” (A toast to the bride and groom! May your love be as strong as German beer, as enduring as a Black Forest cake, and as deep as the Rhine. Cheers!)

10. **Indian Toast**: “Vivah ki shubhkamnayein! Aapke vivah ke is shubh avsar par, main aap dono ke liye pyaar, samarpan, aur anant khushiyon ki kamna karta hoon. Aapka sath sada banaa rahe.” (Congratulations on your wedding! On this auspicious occasion of your marriage, I wish for you both love, devotion, and infinite happiness. May your togetherness last forever.)

These cultural toasts honor the rich traditions and heritages that the couple brings to their union. They incorporate language, blessings, and symbolism specific to each culture, making the toast feel deeply meaningful and personal. Whether you share the couple’s cultural background or simply want to celebrate their heritage, a cultural toast can add a beautiful, unique element to the wedding festivities.

Respecting and Honoring Cultural Traditions

When delivering a cultural wedding toast, it’s crucial to approach the task with respect, understanding, and an open heart. You want to honor the couple’s heritage in a way that feels authentic and meaningful. Here are some tips for doing just that:

1. Do your research. If you’re not familiar with the couple’s cultural traditions, take the time to educate yourself. Read up on the history and significance of the rituals, Talk to family members or friends who share the couple’s background.

2. Incorporate language mindfully. If you plan to include phrases in the couple’s native language, make sure you have the pronunciation and meaning correct. Practice with a native speaker if possible, and provide translations for the rest of the audience.

3. Use symbolism appropriately. Many cultural traditions involve specific symbols or metaphors. For example, the Irish often use images of roads, wind, and sun to represent life’s journey. If you incorporate these symbols into your toast, make sure you understand their significance and use them respectfully.

4. Avoid stereotypes. It’s important to honor cultural traditions without relying on stereotypes or generalizations. Focus on the specific elements that are meaningful to the couple and their families, rather than broad or potentially offensive tropes.

5. Be inclusive. Remember, not everyone in the audience may share or be familiar with the couple’s cultural background. Make sure your toast is accessible and welcoming to all, providing context and explanations where necessary.

Ultimately, a cultural wedding toast is about celebrating the fusion of two families and two heritages. By approaching the task with respect, sensitivity, and an open heart, you can deliver a toast that honors the couple’s unique story and brings everyone together in shared joy and understanding.

75 Wedding Toast One-Liners to Include

Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, a family member, or a friend, crafting the perfect toast can be both a joy and a challenge. In this curated collection, you’ll find 75 diverse and delightful wedding toasts that capture the essence of love, celebration, and cherished memories. From traditional sentiments to quirky anecdotes and heartfelt blessings, these toasts are sure to inspire and delight as you raise a glass to the newlyweds. Cheers to love, laughter, and happily ever after!

1. To love, laughter, and happily ever after. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love story has been a beautiful tale of all three. Here’s to the next chapter being the best one yet.

2. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a fine wine – it’s only gotten better with time. Cheers to a lifetime of savoring every precious moment together.

3. They say that love is not about gazing at each other, but about looking outward together in the same direction. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may your gazes always be fixed on the beautiful future ahead of you.

4. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may you continue to fall head over heels for each other every single day.

5. \[Bride\], I’ve watched you grow from a little girl with big dreams into the incredible woman you are today. And \[Groom\], I’ve watched you become the man worthy of her dreams. Here’s to your happily ever after.

6. \[Groom\], I’ve been by your side through thick and thin. But I’ve never seen you as happy, as complete, as utterly in love as you are with \[Bride\]. Cherish each other always.

7. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is proof that soul mates exist. Watching you find each other and build this beautiful life together has been one of the great joys of my life. Cheers to your eternal love.

8. Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may your mosaic be filled with joy, laughter, and countless cherished memories.

9. \[Bride\], you are the Pam to his Jim, the Rachel to his Ross, the Topanga to his Cory. \[Groom\], you are the Harry to her Sally, the Noah to her Allie, the Carl to her Ellie. Your love is a romance for the ages.

10. \[Groom\], I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with \[Bride\]. And \[Bride\], I’ve never seen you shine as brightly as you do with \[Groom\]. Your love brings out the best in each other, and that’s a rare and beautiful thing.

11. To the bride and groom: may your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love has already withstood so much. I know it will only grow stronger with time.

12. \[Bride\], you are the yin to his yang, the sunshine to his rain, the laughter to his seriousness. \[Groom\], you are the calm to her storm, the rock to her roll, the steady hand to her wild heart. Together, you are perfect balance.

13. Love isn’t perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook. And it doesn’t always come easy. But when it’s real, it’s always worth it. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is as real as it gets. Never forget that.

14. \[Groom\], take care of \[Bride\]’s heart. It’s the most precious thing she’ll ever give you. And \[Bride\], take care of \[Groom\]’s dreams. They’re the most valuable thing he’ll ever entrust you with.

15. May your love be like the wind, strong enough to move the clouds, soft enough to never hurt, loud enough to hear in the dark, and gentle enough to never be a burden.

16. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you two are a perfect match, like bacon and eggs, peanut butter and jelly, Netflix and chill. Your love is comforting, satisfying, and always leaves us wanting more.

17. A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your quirks and contrasts are what make your love so special.

18. \[Groom\], remember: happy wife, happy life. \[Bride\], remember: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Keep each other happy and well-fed, and you’ll be just fine.

19. \[Bride\], I’ve never seen you glow as much as you do when you’re with \[Groom\]. And \[Groom\], I’ve never seen you as content and at peace as you are with \[Bride\]. Your love is a beautiful thing to behold.

20. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a cup of coffee – warm, comforting, and the perfect start to every day. May your marriage be filled with countless perfect mornings together.

21. Love is not about how many days, weeks, or months you’ve been together. It’s all about how much you love each other every single day. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], watching you choose to love each other deeply every day is an inspiration to us all.

22. \[Groom\], you are the Jim to her Pam, the Chandler to her Monica, the Marshall to her Lily. \[Bride\], you are the Lucy to his Ricky, the Morticia to his Gomez, the Leia to his Han. Your love is a sitcom romance come to life.

23. Marriage is not just about finding the right person. It’s also about being the right person. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you bring out the best in each other, and that’s what will make your marriage truly great.

24. May your love be as endless as your wedding rings. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love knows no bounds, no limits, no end. It’s a love that will last a lifetime and beyond.

25. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is a beautiful dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, but you’re always in perfect sync. Keep dancing through life together, and never miss a beat.

26. Love is a friendship set on fire. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your friendship has been the kindling, your passion the spark, and your commitment the fuel. May your love burn bright for all your days.

27. \[Groom\], remember: a happy wife is a happy life. \[Bride\], remember: behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Keep each other laughing, and you’ll never go wrong.

28. \[Bride\], you are the cheese to his macaroni, the syrup to his pancakes, the sprinkles to his ice cream. \[Groom\], you are the crust to her pizza, the milk to her cookies, the bacon to her eggs. Your love is a perfect pairing.

29. Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love has survived the craziness of wedding planning – it can survive anything!

30. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love story is one for the books. It’s got romance, comedy, a little bit of drama, and a happily ever after that’s just beginning. Cheers to the greatest love story ever told.

31. May your love be like a fine wine – rich, robust, and only getting better with age. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], I can’t wait to see how your love story unfolds over the years.

32. \[Groom\], you are the avocado to her toast, the salsa to her chips, the guac to her tacos. \[Bride\], you are the hummus to his pita, the tzatziki to his gyro, the tahini to his falafel. Your love is a flavorful fusion.

33. Love is not about possession, it’s about appreciation. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], the way you appreciate and cherish each other is a beautiful example for us all.

34. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you two go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong. Your love is a catchy tune that we can’t help but sing along to.

35. May your love be as endless as your honeymoon, as exciting as your wedding day, and as sweet as your first kiss as husband and wife.

36. \[Bride\], I’ve watched you dream of this day since we were little girls playing dress-up. And \[Groom\], I’ve watched you become the man of her dreams. Cheers to dreams coming true.

37. \[Groom\], remember: happy spouse, happy house. \[Bride\], remember: the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Keep each other happy and well-fed, and your marriage will thrive.

38. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a box of chocolates – sweet, surprising, and always leaving us wanting more. May your life together be filled with countless delicious moments.

39. Love isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you see each other’s flaws and love each other all the more for them.

40. \[Bride\], you are the avo to his toast, the milk to his cookies, the cheese to his wine. \[Groom\], you are the peanut butter to her jelly, the chips to her guac, the cream to her coffee. Your love is a match made in foodie heaven.

41. A great marriage is not about the big moments, it’s about the million little moments. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may your life together be filled with countless little moments of love and laughter.

42. \[Groom\], you are the rhythm to her blues, the melody to her harmony, the beat to her heart. \ Bride\], you are the lyrics to his song, the poetry to his prose, the meaning to his music. Together, you make beautiful music.

43. Love is not about grand gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about the little things – a smile across the room, a hand held during a hard day, a laugh shared over a silly joke. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is built on a thousand perfect little things.

44. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love story is like a rom-com – it’s got meet-cutes, misunderstandings, grand gestures, and a happily ever after that’s just beginning. Can’t wait to see the sequel!

45. May your love be as deep as the ocean, as constant as the tides, and as vast as the sea. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love knows no bounds.

46. \[Groom\], remember: happy wife, happy life. \[Bride\], remember: a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Keep each other happy and well-fed, and you’ll be just fine.

47. \[Bride\], you are the sunshine to his rain, the spring to his winter, the bloom to his frost. \[Groom\], you are the shade to her heat, the autumn to her summer, the harvest to her seed. Your love weathers all seasons.

48. Love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being perfect for each other. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your quirks and flaws fit together like puzzle pieces, creating a beautiful, complete picture.

49. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a good book – it’s got adventure, romance, a few plot twists, and a story that keeps us turning the pages. Can’t wait to read the next chapter!

50. May your love be as sweet as your wedding cake, as intoxicating as your champagne, and as fun as your reception. Cheers to a lifetime of sweetness, celebration, and joy.

51. \[Bride\], I’ve watched you grow from a little girl with big dreams into the incredible woman you are today. And \[Groom\], I’ve watched you become the man worthy of her dreams. Here’s to your happily ever after.

52. \[Groom\], you are the Batman to her Catwoman, the Spider-Man to her MJ, the Superman to her Lois Lane. \[Bride\], you are the Hermione to his Ron, the Leia to his Han, the Buttercup to his Westley. Your love is a superhero story come to life.

53. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], as you embark on this adventure together, remember that the best part of any journey is who you have beside you.

54. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a good wine – it’s complex, it’s rich, and it only gets better with time. Cheers to a lifetime of savoring each other.

55. Love is not about being inseparable. It’s about two people facing the world together, side by side. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you are each other’s partner, ally, and best friend. Together, you can face anything.

56. \[Groom\], remember: a happy wife is a happy life. \[Bride\], remember: the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Keep each other happy and well-fed, and your love will never go hungry.

57. \[Bride\], you are the Thelma to his Louise, the Bonnie to his Clyde, the Cher to his Sonny. \[Groom\], you are the Johnny to her June, the Jay-Z to her Beyoncé, the Johnny Cash to her June Carter. Your love is a duet for the ages.

58. Marriage is not about finding someone you can live with. It’s about finding someone you can’t live without. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], you are each other’s necessity, each other’s home, each other’s heart.

59. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a good cocktail – it’s got the perfect blend of sweetness, strength, and a little bit of kick. May your marriage be a lifelong toast to your love.

60. May your love be as limitless as the sky, as steady as the earth, and as renewing as the rain. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is a force of nature.

61. \[Groom\], remember: happy spouse, happy house. \[Bride\], remember: the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Keep each other happy and well-fed, and your home will always be full of love.

62. \[Bride\], you are the Luna to his Harry, the Ginny to his Harry, the Cho to his Cedric… wait, scratch that last one. \[Groom\], you are the Ron to her Hermione, the James to her Lily, the Arthur to her Molly. Your love is a magical tale.

63. Love isn’t about the big moments. It’s about the million little moments that make up a life together. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may your life be filled with countless perfect little moments.

64. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a good cup of coffee – it’s warm, it’s comforting, and it’s the perfect way to start each day. May your marriage be filled with countless perfect mornings together.

65. May your love be as eternal as the stars, as constant as the moon, and as bright as the sun. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love lights up the sky.

66. \[Groom\], remember: happy wife, happy life. \[Bride\], remember: the secret to a happy marriage remains a secret. Keep each other laughing, and you’ll never go wrong.

67. \[Bride\], you are the Leia to his Han, the Padmé to his Anakin, the Rey to his Finn. \[Groom\], you are the Westley to her Buttercup, the Inigo to her Fezzik, the Miracle Max to her Valerie. Your love is a fairy tale in a galaxy far, far away.

68. Marriage is not about being perfect. It’s about being perfect for each other. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your quirks, your flaws, your silly habits – they’re what make you so perfectly matched.

69. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is like a good book – it’s got romance, adventure, a few plot twists, and a story that keeps us turning the pages. Can’t wait to read the next chapter!

70. May your love be as intoxicating as your wedding champagne, as sweet as your cake, and as joyful as the laughter filling this room. Cheers to a lifetime of love, laughter, and happily ever after.

71. \[Groom\], take care of my girl. She’s the most precious thing I’ve ever held, until the day I hold your first child. And \[Bride\], take care of this man. He’s been my best friend, my brother, and now, he’s your husband. Love each other fiercely.

72. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is proof that soulmates exist. Watching you find each other, choose each other, and commit to each other for life has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Your love is a light in this world.

73. Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], may your mosaic be filled with adventure, passion, laughter, and unwavering commitment.

74. \[Bride\], I remember the day you called me, giddy and breathless, telling me about this amazing man you’d just met. And \[Groom\], I remember the day you told me, with a smile I’d never seen before, that you’d found the one. I’ve watched your love story unfold, and it’s been the privilege of my life. Here’s to the next chapter.

75. \[Bride\] and \[Groom\], your love is a testament to the power of friendship, the importance of laughter, and the joy of finding your perfect partner in crime. As you embark on this grand adventure of marriage, know that you have an army of loved ones cheering you on, today and always. Cheers to your happily ever after. It’s only just begun.

10 Wedding Toast Templates

Crafting a memorable wedding toast is a special opportunity to honor the love and commitment between two people as they begin their journey together. Whether you’re a seasoned speaker or new to toasting, having a structured template can help you convey your heartfelt sentiments with grace and sincerity. In this collection, you’ll find ten carefully crafted wedding toast templates, each offering a unique approach to celebrating the couple’s love story. From heartfelt reflections to light-hearted humor, these templates provide a versatile foundation for creating a toast that captures the essence of the occasion. Here’s to crafting beautiful words that resonate with love and joy on this special day!

1. The Childhood Friend Toast

[Introduction] Good evening everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of being [Bride/Groom]’s friend since we were [age] years old.

[Shared Memory] I still remember the day we first met, [brief anecdote about your first meeting or early friendship]. Even then, I knew that [Bride/Groom] was someone special, someone who would change lives with their [key quality].

[Transition to Couple] And then, [he/she] met [Partner’s Name]. I remember [Bride/Groom] calling me after their first date, gushing about this amazing person they’d just met. I could hear the excitement in their voice, and I knew that this was the start of something incredible.

[Couple’s Love Story] Over the years, I’ve watched [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]’s love grow. I’ve seen them support each other through [challenge], celebrate each other’s triumphs like [achievement], and create a bond that’s truly unbreakable. They bring out the best in each other, and their love is an inspiration to us all.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing year. May you always find laughter, comfort, and joy in each other’s company. And may your life together be filled with all the happiness you so deeply deserve. To the happy couple!

2. The Sibling Toast

[Introduction] Hello everyone, I’m [Your Name], [Bride/Groom]’s [older/younger] [brother/sister].

[Sibling Bond] Growing up with [Bride/Groom] was an adventure. We had our share of [shared childhood experience], and through it all, [Bride/Groom] was always my [role model/confidant/partner in crime]. I learned so much from [him/her] about [life lesson].

[Welcoming Partner] When [Bride/Groom] first introduced me to [Partner’s Name], I could immediately see how happy they made my [brother/sister]. [Partner’s Name], you’ve been a wonderful addition to our family. You’re the [characteristic] to [Bride/Groom]’s [characteristic], and together, you make a perfect team.

[Love and Support] [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name], your love has weathered [challenge] and grown stronger through [milestone]. You’ve built a relationship based on [key quality], and it’s been a joy to witness. I know that you’ll continue to support and cherish each other in the years to come.

[Toast] Let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be filled with the same laughter, love, and [inside joke] that’s always defined your relationship. May you continue to bring out the best in each other. And may your love story be a shining example of what true partnership looks like. Cheers!

3. The College Friend Toast

[Introduction] Hi everyone, I’m [Your Name], and I had the good fortune of meeting [Bride/Groom] on our first day at [college name].

[College Memories] Those college years were unforgettable. We navigated [shared college experience] together, and through it all, [Bride/Groom] was always the [key quality] one. I remember [funny college anecdote].

[Meeting Partner] And then, in our [year] year, [Bride/Groom] met [Partner’s Name]. I’ve never seen [Bride/Groom] so smitten. They couldn’t stop talking about this [charming/brilliant/hilarious] person they’d met. It was clear from the start that this was something special.

[Couple’s Journey] Over the years, I’ve watched [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name] build a life together. They’ve supported each other through [milestone], laughed together through [funny moment], and created a love that’s truly one of a kind. Your relationship is a testament to the power of [key quality].

[Toast] So let’s toast to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be filled with the same [key quality] that’s always defined your relationship. May you continue to be each other’s [silly nickname]. And may your love only grow stronger with each passing year. To the perfect couple!

4. The Parent Toast

[Introduction] Good evening everyone. As [Bride/Groom]’s [mother/father], I want to start by saying how incredibly proud I am of the [man/woman] [Bride/Groom] has become.

[Childhood Memories] From the moment [Bride/Groom] was born, [he/she] filled our lives with [key quality]. I remember [childhood anecdote showcasing key quality]. Even then, we knew [Bride/Groom] was destined for great things.

[Welcoming Partner] And then, [Bride/Groom] met [Partner’s Name]. [Partner’s Name], from the first time we met you, we knew you were perfect for our [son/daughter]. You [key quality] them in a way we’ve never seen. You’ve become such an integral part of our family, and we’re so happy to officially welcome you today.

[Marriage Wisdom] [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name], as you start this new chapter, always remember the importance of [marriage advice]. There will be challenges, but face them together. Celebrate each other’s successes. Be each other’s shelter in the storms of life. And never forget the love that brought you here today.

[Toast] Let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be blessed with [blessing]. May you always find strength in each other. And may your love be a guiding light, not just to each other, but to all who know you. To the newlyweds!

5. The Best Friend Toast

[Introduction] Hi everyone, I’m [Your Name], and I’ve been lucky enough to be [Bride/Groom]’s best friend for [length of friendship].

[Friendship History] [Bride/Groom] and I have been through it all together. From [shared experience] to [milestone], we’ve always had each other’s backs. I remember [funny or touching anecdote about your friendship].

[Bride/Groom]’s Love When [Bride/Groom] first told me about [Partner’s Name], I knew this was different. The way [his/her] face lit up, the way [he/she] couldn’t stop smiling – it was clear that [Partner’s Name] was someone very special.

[Couple’s Relationship] Watching [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]’s relationship blossom has been one of my life’s greatest joys. You two are a perfect match, balancing each other out and bringing out the best in one another. Your love is built on [key quality], and that’s something truly rare and beautiful.

[Toast] So let’s toast to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your love continue to be the [key quality] force it’s always been. May you always find joy, comfort, and laughter in each other. And may your marriage be a shining example of what true love looks like. Cheers to the happy couple!

6. The Work Colleague Toast

[Introduction] Good evening everyone. I’m [Your Name], and I’ve had the pleasure of working with [Bride/Groom] at [company name] for [length of time].

[Professional Praise] In the office, [Bride/Groom] is known for [his/her] [professional quality]. [He/She] brings [key quality] to everything [he/she] does, and it’s been an honor to work alongside [him/her]. I remember [work anecdote showcasing key quality].

[Seeing Love Blossom] But as impressive as [Bride/Groom] is in the office, it’s been even more wonderful to watch [him/her] find love with [Partner’s Name]. The joy that [Partner’s Name] brings to [Bride/Groom]’s life is palpable. It’s clear that you two are truly meant for each other.

[Couple’s Compatibility] [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name], your relationship is a testament to the power of [key quality]. You balance each other perfectly, and your love has only grown stronger through [milestone/challenge]. It’s clear that you’re not just partners in love, but partners in life.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be filled with the same [key quality] that you bring to everything you do. May you always be each other’s [role]. And may your love continue to inspire all who know you. To the newlyweds!

7. The Maid of Honor / Best Man Toast

[Introduction] Hello everyone. As [Bride/Groom]’s [Maid of Honor/Best Man], I have the privilege of toasting this incredible couple today.

[Friendship with Bride/Groom] [Bride/Groom], our friendship has been a cornerstone of my life. From [shared experience] to [milestone], you’ve been my [role]. I remember [anecdote showcasing Bride/Groom’s key quality].

[Meeting Partner] When you first introduced me to [Partner’s Name], I knew this was something special. The way you [looked at/talked about] [him/her] – I’d never seen you so [key emotion]. And [Partner’s Name], I quickly understood why. Your [key quality] perfectly complements [Bride/Groom]’s [key quality].

[Couple’s Journey] Watching your love story unfold has been a true privilege. You’ve weathered [challenge] together and celebrated [milestone]. You bring out the best in each other, and your love is a beautiful reminder of what true partnership looks like.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be filled with the same [key quality] that’s always defined your relationship. May you continue to be each other’s [role model/support system/best friend]. And may your love be a guiding light, today and always. To the perfect pair!

8. The Short and Sweet Toast

[Introduction] Hi everyone, I’m [Your Name], [Your Relation to the Couple].

[Couple’s Love] [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name], your love is a beautiful thing. It’s [key quality], it’s [key quality], and it’s an inspiration to us all.

[Well Wishes] As you start this new chapter, know that you have a community here that loves and supports you. We’re so happy to celebrate with you today.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to the newlyweds. May your love continue to grow, may your laughter never cease, and may your happiness know no bounds. To [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]!

9. The Funny Toast

[Introduction] Good evening everyone. I’m [Your Name], and I’ve been [Bride/Groom]’s [Your Relation] for [length of time].

[Funny Anecdote] Now, I could stand up here and tell you about all of [Bride/Groom]’s wonderful qualities, but instead, I’m going to share a little story that I think sums up [his/her] [key funny quality] perfectly. [Humorous anecdote].

[Couple’s Humor] But what’s even better is that [Partner’s Name] not only puts up with [Bride/Groom]’s [funny quality], but matches it with [his/her] own [complementary funny quality]. Together, you two are like [funny comparison]. It’s a joy to watch.

[Heartfelt Sentiment] But in all seriousness, [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name], your love is truly special. You’ve found in each other a [key quality] that’s rare and wonderful. Your relationship is built on [key quality] and [key quality], and that’s something to be celebrated.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. May your marriage be filled with the same laughter and [inside joke] that’s always been a hallmark of your relationship. May you continue to [funny well wish]. And may your love be a source of joy, today and always. To the happy couple!

10. The Sentimental Toast

[Introduction] Good evening everyone. I’m [Your Name], and I’ve known [Bride/Groom] for [length of time].

[Emotional Connection] [Bride/Groom], our friendship has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. You’ve been there for me through [difficult time], and you’ve celebrated with me during [happy milestone]. Your [key quality] and [key quality] have made you an invaluable part of my life.

[Love for Partner] And then you met [Partner’s Name]. I’ve never seen you so [key emotion]. The love between you two is palpable – it radiates in your smiles, your laughter, your every interaction. [Partner’s Name], you bring out a [key quality] in [Bride/Groom] that’s truly beautiful to see.

[Future Wishes] As you start this new chapter, I wish for you a lifetime of that same love and happiness. May your marriage be a testament to the power of [key quality]. May you always find solace, joy, and strength in each other. And may your love story be one for the ages.

[Toast] So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride/Groom] and [Partner’s Name]. To a love that’s [key quality], [key quality], and everything in between. To a partnership that’s as beautiful as it is strong. And to a lifetime of happiness together. Cheers to the newlyweds!

How Bridesmaid for Hire Can Help

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75 Best Man Speech Quotes to Make Your Speech Memorable and Heartfelt

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155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech

We welcome you to one of the funniest collections of wedding jokes. A great comedy culminates in marriage, and a happy marriage is full of comedy. ‎

If you’re the bride or groom, a best man or maid of honor, or merely a friend or family who can’t pass up the opportunity to express your heart and soul, the finest present you can offer to any wedding ceremony is a well-rehearsed marriage speech that is lighthearted, joyful, and cheerful. ‎

Leave the lame puns about bossy wives or disloyal husbands at the gate and focus your thoughts on the one type of humor that all wedding guests can enjoy: wedding jokes.

Below are some of the finest marriage jokes that are sure to make even Grandma’s giggle.

Best Wedding Jokes

So you’ve been invited to make a wedding toast. First and foremost, congratulations! It’s evident that you mean a lot to the couple, and that they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of all who has ever mattered to them.

But you are going to need some amazing marriage jokes to incorporate into your speech. Here are some of the best wedding jokes for you.

If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married. In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there. Times haven’t changed at all! Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.” They married for better or for worse. He couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse! When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I’ve known him for about 10 years, he’s handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic. Sorry, wrong wedding. Do you know why the King of Hearts married the Queen of Hearts? They were perfectly suited to each other. Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it! All marriages are mixed marriages. Q: Why was that man twisting the wedding ring on his finger? A: He was trying to figure out the combination. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage, and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again? Arguing with your wife/husband is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end, you just give up and go ‘I agree.’ By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Funny Wedding Jokes

This list of funny wedding jokes has it all, from wedding jokes to share with a groom on his big day to delightfully accurate sayings about matrimony that all ladies will understand to the perfect marriage jokes for a wedding speech or toast. ‎

I’d noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother. “Things haven’t changed that much,” she said. “Only difference is, before, he didn’t listen. Now, he can’t.” Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny. My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me. Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.” Why can’t a vampire see his bride on the wedding day? Because an open casket ceremony costs more. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. The secret to having your husband come home from work on time? Tell him sex starts at 6 P.M. sharp—whether he’s there or not. At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets. Marriage is like a video game. Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat. A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. The very next day he received hundreds of letters that all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific. If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.” Husband: “Why do you keep reading our marriage license?” Wife: “I’m looking for a loophole.” Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no. My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. She’s telepathetic. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Clever Wedding Jokes

Let us now go through some clever wedding jokes. While these lighthearted marriage quips and jokes may make a mockery of your marriage status, they are merely meant to be amusing—while also trying to make light of how difficult married life may be at times. ‎

It’s been ten years since the invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids are nothing to look at either. What’s the difference between a prostitute and a wife? A wife accepts credit cards. Any husband who says, ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners’, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. (Giving a wedding speech) “There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who finish what they start…” (walks off) What’s the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years, a job still sucks. Of course, the groom has always been incredibly image conscious, but this morning was particularly bad – he spent three hours in the bathroom! To get an idea of what that’s like, why not agree to make a wedding speech? Why did Comic Sans break up with Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type. My husband cooks for me like I’m a god—by placing burnt offerings before me every night. Whenever my wife packs me a salad for lunch all I wanna know is what I did wrong. The Groom has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis. So, on his behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming… Husband: “Just once I wish you’d admit I’m right! Wife: “Just once, I wish you’d admit you’re wrong! Husband: “Fine! I’m wrong!” Wife: “Finally, something you’re right about!” The groom is a very talented man. Very talented indeed … He’s a gifted inventor, a shrewd businessman, a deep thinker and a noted connoisseur of the arts. He’s so talented he can fake all of that. Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just didn’t have that spark.

One Liner Wedding Jokes

It never hurts to start your wedding speech with some of the one liner wedding jokes, whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or master of ceremonies. Select from our best-ever wedding jokes one-liners to thrash the happy couple before toasting them! ‎

May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live. Is marriage just two people taking turns mashing the trash down in the hopes the other one folds first and empties the bin? As Bill and Ted once said: ‘Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.’ My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment. Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash. Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener. A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. It’s true that all men are born free and equal – but some of them get married. A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Marriage is something that puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under a man’s eyes. They’ve been together for so many years, instead of the Wedding March the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus! Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web. If at first you don’t succeed…try doing it the way your wife told you. The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.

Short Wedding Jokes

The most essential thing to remember about marriage speeches is that the finest ones are both sincere and humorous—and, most significantly, they last less than five minutes. So make use of these short wedding jokes in your speech.

May your children be blessed with rich parents. A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. What is the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. My wife says I’m too competitive. I told her I already knew that. If I could just say a few words, I’d be a better public speaker! Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence…a life sentence! Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade! My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9. May the most you wish for be the least you get. Just listen up while I tell you about this couple, and I’ll make it seem like the shortest 45 minutes of your life Wife renewed me for another season. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent. Marriage is like deleting all the apps on your phone except one. A wise man once said, “I don’t know… ask my wife.” Girlfriend: “Honey, will you give me a ring on our wedding day?” Boyfriend: “Sure, what’s your number?” May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom. Why doesn’t our society let a man marry two wives? Because our laws protect us from cruel and unusual punishment.

Clean Wedding Jokes

To help you chuckle, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite clean wedding jokes below. Feel free to steal freely and mix and match these jokes as required to make your speech truly sparkle! ‎

May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided. Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to Ikea on a Saturday with an empty stomach is not. This couple was married for 67 years. I asked them that if, in all those years, had they ever thought of divorce. “Heavens no,” she replied. “Murder, yes. But never divorce.” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time! To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job. He still ends up with the same boss. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. If your husband tells you you’re being too dramatic, don’t forget to bow when you thank him. For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!” Stewardess: “I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London.” Mr. Smith: “Thank goodness! I thought I was going deaf!” Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? Someday my prints will come! Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you. Marriage is full of surprises but it’s mostly just asking each other, “Do you have to do that right now?” Every man and woman should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. I’d now like to focus on the groom for a moment. Enjoy it, mate. After today, this is the last time you’ll ever be the center of attention. Just asked my wife what she’s “burning up for dinner” and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings. You’ll know you’ve mastered marriage when you ask your spouse to hand you ‘that thingy’ over there and they know exactly what you mean. The groom is the kind of guy you don’t have to worry about introducing your parents to. That’s why (Bride) didn’t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.

Dirty Wedding Jokes

No need to fret if you aren’t the most comic person in the world; here are some dirty wedding jokes that may be used in the best man or chief maid of honor speech. ‎

As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, “After this, you can’t have sex for at least three days.” “Did you hear that?” she asked her husband. “No sex for three days.” “I heard,” he said. “But she was speaking to you.” How is a wife like bacon? They both look, smell, and taste amazing. They also both slowly kill you. Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next!” How is a wife like a freezer? It takes hours of defrosting to get either really wet. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Find a woman who can cook and clean. A woman who’s an animal in bed. A woman with lots of money. Make sure these three women never meet. Wife: “I love you.” Husband: “Is that you or the wine talking?” Wife: “It’s me. Talking to the wine.” What does every heterosexual man realize ten years into marriage? Why “gay” also means happy. What’s the difference between a bride-to-be and groom-to-be? A bride-to-be wants a shower. A groom-to-be wants to get as dirty as possible before his Big Day. How does a man really satisfy his wife in bed? By sleeping on the sofa.

Wedding Jokes for MC

While random jokes are fun, making your wedding toasts personalized or even presenting wedding jokes for MC you know from the couple being married is usually a smart idea. Here are a few of them for you. ‎

Marriage is becoming more and more progressive. I hear two scoutmasters decided to tie the knot. You can end your toast by saying: “Bob, take Susie’s hand and place your hand over her’s. Now, remember and cherish this very moment… because this is the last time you are ever going to have the upper hand!” This couple was married for 67 years. The husband/wife was asked if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce. “Heavens no,” he/she replied. “Murder, yes. But never divorce.” Self Defence They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Grooms, once you marry, please remember that whenever you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember these two last words: “Yes dear” My wife says I never listen, or something like that. Marriage Is an Institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Two cannon balls got married this morning. I hear they’re already expecting BBs. 10 Years When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Did you hear about the bald man who married his comb? He promised, “I’ll never part with it!” Incomplete Man A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing. Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.

Wedding Jokes for Speech

While you’ll want to go deeply into your own recollections and sentiments for the pair for the poignant portions, zingers aren’t always easy to come by. You are going to need some wedding jokes for speech. Here are some wedding speech jokes that you may find amusing.

What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding! It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers. Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. If there is anybody here who is feeling worried, nervous or apprehensive, you’re either me (because I am) or you just married (groom’s name). Here’s to you and here’s to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here’s to me, and to hell with you. IN LOVING MEMORY… Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible. Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history – it’s the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!” For newly married couples, there is a progression of rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering! Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor, and a short memory. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.” I’m not a yes man to my wife – when she says no, I say no. It’s not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets. May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds! We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall. She (the bride) loves the finer things in life. I overheard her when the minister was going through the vows – she said “What’s all this garbage about for richer or for poorer?” Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is? Two florists recently got married. It was an arranged marriage. We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone, whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love. They married for better or for worse – He couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse! Darling, tonight you will sink into my arms and tomorrow your arms will be in my sink. Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail.

Wedding Jokes for Best Man

One of the finest methods to deliver a wedding speech is to tell jokes and stories. If you have the honor of giving a speech, you can add some fun and spice to it with best man speech jokes. The more witty your wedding speech, the more memorable it will be. So here are some best man jokes for you.

Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: they also chose you. Cheers! The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. Overheard at my garden-club meeting: “I never knew what compost was until I met my husband.” I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives and the wife takes. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Final Thoughts on Wedding Jokes

Getting married is a super important, but it’s also a moment to have fun and laugh at the absurdity of it all. It’s called an “establishment” for a reason, after all.

If you’re sick of hearing about love and marriage, you’ll appreciate the funniest wedding jokes we’ve shared with you. ‎ Getting married is exciting, but it’s also likely the biggest party you’ll ever throw.

Weddings are lovely, but they wouldn’t be possible without a little elbow grease, hard labor, and one or two catastrophes. So, if you’re getting married soon, these marriage jokes will undoubtedly help you de-stress. ‎

Wedding jokes are simply smart and amusing statements about marriage and relationships. There should be some genuineness in what you say, especially when offering advice, congratulations, and good wishes to the newlyweds.

In any event, including these wedding speech jokes is a terrific approach to engage the audience and make this portion of the ceremony unforgettable.

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How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines

Handy one-liners to get your speech off to an amazing start.

If you've read our post on how to make a great wedding speech , you'll know that it's really important to start strong! Well, here we're showing you how to do exactly that, with a list of the best wedding speech opening lines . The beauty of this list is that it works for any kind of wedding speech, whether you're the bride, groom, best man, bridesmaid, father-of-the-bride, or even the flower girl or the groom's granny!

We've made sure to include lots of different options so there's something to suit every style of speech, whether you want to keep it simple, bring the audience to tears, or give them a giggle with a joke . Some of our wedding speech opening lines can be customised, too, to help you make your speech even more personal. So, let's dive in!

Our Favourite Wedding Speech Opening Lines

To help you find what you're looking for, we've split our sample opening lines into three categories; simple and sincere opening lines, funny opening lines and opening lines with quotes from famous people.

Note: (name) can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the wedding party.

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction."

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight."

"Thank you so much, (name), for such a wonderful introduction. I only hope I can live up to your kind words!"

"Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a great night so far."

"Hello, I'm (name) and, for those of you who don't already know me, I'm (relation to couple)."

"Hi everybody, I'm (name), and I'm here to talk a little bit about my good friend (name)."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'm going to talk a little bit about (name). When I was writing this speech, I asked myself how I could sum up (X) years of friendship, laughter and adventures in one speech, and I decided that I can't. We'd be here all night."

"Hello everybody and welcome. I think we can all agree that it's been a wonderful day so far. (Couple names), you should be really proud of the amazing day you've put together. We're all very lucky to be a part of it."

"Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a great night so far. My life changed completely on (date, year), when (name) came into my life, and it changes again today, as they embark on their latest adventure with (name)."

"Hi everybody. Thank you for the warm welcome. Mark Twain once said that 'there are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.' I'm definitely in the former category, so I hope you'll forgive me if I'm a little bit shaky this evening."

wedding speech opening lines funny opening lines sincere opening lines (9)

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Funny Opening Lines to Make Guests LOL

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and before any of you ask, yes I am single."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'll be your speaker for the next 95 minutes."

"Hi everybody. If you don't know who I am... well, you're probably at the wrong wedding! But stick around, we need extra people for the conga line."

"Hi everyone. You're probably wondering why I gathered you here today. I've got a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity that I know you're going to - sorry, wrong speech!"

"Hello everyone! Thank you all for being here on such an exciting night. Yes, the rumours are true, I will be debuting some new choreography on the dance floor this evening. But in the mean time, I suppose I should talk a little bit about (couple names)."

"Hello, and welcome. You may know me as (name's friend/relative), but tonight, I go by the title, (name), Lord of the Dance."

"Hi everyone. Just in case you don't already know, I'm (name) and I'm the best man. There are some really successful, good-looking, charming men in the room tonight, but now that it's written on the ceremony program in black and white, it's official - I am the best."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from the great Seamus Heaney/Maya Angelou/Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr./Mother Teresa... but unfortunately I left my speech in my other jacket. So you'll have to make do with me!"

“Hi everyone. If I could just say a few words … I’d be a better public speaker! That gag was actually stolen from Homer Simpson, which should give you an idea of the caliber of speech you can expect from me tonight.”

"Hi everyone, and welcome. Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as, 'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'. That's a Homer Simpson quote, which should give you an idea of the caliber of speech you can expect from me tonight.”

"Hello everyone, I'm (name.) According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right?"

"Hi everyone. When I was preparing this speech, (name) gave me a list of topics that were strictly off-limits, so I'd like to start with those."

"Hi everyone. I'm (name). Anyone who knows me knows that I'm (name)'s biggest fan. So much so, that I was actually quite hurt when I learned that I wasn't going to be involved in the first dance!"

"Hi everyone. I just want to take a few minutes to talk about my good friend (name). I first met (name) when we were 13, and since then, I've always looked up to him. He was, after all, the only 6ft 2' student at (school name)!"

"Good evening everyone. To our English speakers, I'd like to say welcome, we're delighted that you could be with us today to celebrate the marriage of (couple names). To our (other language) speakers, I'd like to say (use Google Translate or ask a native speaker to translate, 'My llama is very handsome. I hope my translation is correct.')"

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Beginning with a Quote

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Dr. James Dobson, who said, 'Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.' "

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Franz Schubert, who said, 'Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.' "

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who said, 'There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.' "

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Franklin P. Jones, who said, 'Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.' "

"Hi everyone, I'm (name.) I hope you're all having a wonderful day so far. When I got married to my partner (name), somebody told me, 'Don't just be husband and wife, be president of each other's fan clubs,' and I'd like to pass on that same advice to (couple)."

"Hello everyone. I'd like to begin with a quote from Mignon McLaughlin, who said, 'A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.' Over the past (x) years, I've had the pleasure of watching (name) fall in love with (name) over and over again."

Click herefor a handy checklist of people to thank in your wedding speech , plus how to keep the speeches from being too long !

Image credits

Adam and grace, via one fab day, see more in:.

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Words at Ease

6 Uncle of the Bride Speech Examples

Are you an uncle asked to give a speech at your niece’s wedding?

It’s an honor to be asked, but it can also feel like a lot of pressure.

You want to strike the right tone, share meaningful memories, and wish the happy couple well as they start their new life together.

Uncle of the Bride Speech Examples

Don’t worry – we’ve got you covered with these six examples of uncle-of-the-bride speeches.

Whether you’re looking for something short and sweet or a longer tribute, you’ll find inspiration here to write the perfect wedding day message.

Here are six sample speeches to help you get started:

Good evening everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m John, Sarah’s favorite uncle. At least, that’s what she told me to say.

Sarah, watching you grow up has been one of the great joys of my life. I still recall the little girl who loved singing Disney songs at the top of her lungs and always insisted on wearing mismatched socks. While your fashion sense has thankfully evolved since then, your spirit and zest for life haven’t changed a bit.

Mark, I’ve seen how happy you make Sarah, and the love you share is truly special. I know you’ll continue to be a wonderful partner to her in all of life’s adventures.

So let’s raise our glasses to Sarah and Mark – may your love keep growing stronger and your mismatched socks keep getting crazier. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness together!

— END OF SPEECH —

Commentary: This short, lighthearted speech is perfect for an uncle who wants to share a cute childhood anecdote and some gentle humor. It’s suitable for a relaxed, informal wedding reception.

I’ve had the pleasure of being Sarah’s uncle for 27 wonderful years. I’ve watched Sarah grow from an inquisitive little girl into the brilliant, compassionate woman she is today. Sarah, your kindness and strength of character never cease to amaze me. You have such a bright light within you and you make the world better with your presence.

When Sarah first introduced me to Mark, I could immediately see why she fell for him. Mark, your warmth, humor, and steadfast support of Sarah are so apparent. You balance each other perfectly and I know that together, you can weather any of life’s storms.

A successful marriage is about more than just love. It takes patience, understanding, and a willingness to be a team through the good times and the challenging ones. Sarah and Mark have those qualities in abundance.

So Sarah and Mark, as you stand together on the precipice of this new chapter, I wish you a marriage filled with love, laughter, and unwavering partnership. May you always lift each other and may your bond only grow deeper with time. I love you both. To the happy couple!

Commentary: This speech has a more serious, sentimental tone suitable for an uncle who wants to reflect on the bride’s character and offer marriage advice. It’s a good fit for a formal wedding with traditional elements.

There’s a saying that an aunt is a haven for a child. An uncle is a safe bet for some candy. Well, I certainly tried my best to live up to my candy-supplying duties over the years. But more than that, I’ve strived to be a pillar of love and support for my wonderful niece Sarah.

Sarah, I’ve had a front-row seat to your life, from school plays to graduations to major milestones. And while I could share plenty of embarrassing stories, like the time you decided to give the dog a makeover with mom’s lipstick, I’ll refrain. Instead, I’ll just say that through it all, your creativity, determination, and unfaltering ability to see the best in people have shone through.

I know it’s that beautiful heart that led you to Mark. Mark, you came into Sarah’s life and it’s like the puzzle piece we never knew was missing suddenly clicked into place. Your love and respect for each other is palpable.

As you two embark on the great adventure of marriage, I want to share a few pieces of wisdom. Always be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Never go to bed angry. Learn to love the differences that make you unique. And when the hard times come, as they do in every marriage, always turn towards each other, never away.

Sarah and Mark, it’s my greatest wish that your love story is one for the ages. Through the peaks and valleys of life, your love and friendship sustain you. I can’t wait to see the incredible life you build together. May your home always be filled with laughter and your hearts full of love for each other. Congratulations!

Commentary: This longer speech balances humor and heart, with the uncle sharing a funny childhood story but also heartfelt marital advice. It’s suitable for an uncle who has been very involved in the bride’s life and feels comfortable offering words of wisdom to the couple. It would work well at most types of weddings.

They say that a niece is someone to treasure in your heart forever. That couldn’t be more true when it comes to Sarah. Sarah, you have brought endless joy, light, and love into not just my life, but the whole family’s.

I’ve had the privilege of a front-row seat as you’ve grown into the extraordinary woman you are today. Your intelligence, grace, and unfailing kindness never cease to inspire me. But more than that, it’s your resilience in the face of challenges that is truly remarkable. You’ve weathered some storms and each time, you’ve emerged even stronger.

I know that it was your strength and openness to love that led you to find a true partner in Mark. Seeing the two of you together, it’s clear that you bring out the absolute best in each other. Your love isn’t the fleeting, superficial kind, but the sort that’s built on a bedrock of friendship, respect, and unwavering support.

As you stand on the threshold of married life, I want to share some advice that has served me well over the years. Always keep in mind that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice you make every day. Choose to be kind, to be patient, to listen as much as you speak. Choose to find joy in the little moments and to face challenges as a united front. And above all, choose each other, every single day.

Sarah and Mark, as I look at you today, I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness and hope. Because I know that with the love you share, you can build a life beyond your wildest dreams. A life filled with adventure, laughter, and a love that grows deeper with each passing year.

So let us raise our glasses to Sarah and Mark. May your love be a beacon, guiding you through all of life’s journeys. May you always find shelter in each other’s arms and may your hearts beat as one. Here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!

Commentary: This lengthy speech is ideal for an uncle who wants to offer a mix of sentimental reflection and sage marital advice. It touches on the bride’s strength of character and the deep love the couple shares. This speech would be well-suited to a formal, traditional wedding reception.

Hello, everyone. I’ll keep this short and sweet – rather like myself! Of course, my brother, the father of the bride, would argue that the sweetness is absent. But he’s just jealous of my dashing good looks.

But really, this day is all about the beautiful bride, Sarah, and her new husband, Mark. It’s a joy to be celebrating this magical day with them.

To quote the poet Richard Bach, “True love stories never have endings.” Sarah and Mark, I look at you both and see two souls that were always destined to find their way to each other. The love story you’re writing together is a testament to the power and endurance of love.

Yes, all good love stories have their twists and turns, their moments of tension and climax. But it’s in weathering these plot twists together that your love will be forged into an unbreakable bond.

I wish for you a marriage full of laughter, passion, and ever-deepening love. May you always be each other’s best friend, staunchest supporter, and most ardent admirer.

Let’s raise a toast to the newlyweds – may your love story be one for the ages!

Commentary: This medium-length speech strikes a balance between humor and sincerity. It’s a good fit for an uncle with a more informal, jokey relationship with the couple, but who still wants to offer some meaningful well-wishes. This speech could work for a range of wedding styles.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, esteemed guests, and of course, our beautiful bride and groom, Sarah and Mark.

It is my great honor and privilege to be here today celebrating this joyous occasion with all of you. As Sarah’s uncle, I’ve had the unique opportunity to watch her grow and blossom into the incredible woman she is today.

Sarah, from the moment you came into this world, you lit up our lives with your infectious laughter, your boundless curiosity, and your heart of pure gold. Watching you mature into a strong, intelligent, compassionate young woman has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

When you introduced us to Mark, it was immediately clear that you had found your perfect match. Mark, your love and devotion to Sarah is evident in everything you do. The way you look at her, the way you support and encourage her, the way you make her laugh – it’s a testament to the depth and sincerity of your love.

As you two embark on this new chapter of your lives together, I want to share a few pieces of wisdom that I’ve learned over the years.

Firstly, always keep in mind that love is not just a noun, it’s a verb. It’s not something you find or fall into, it’s something you do, every single day. It’s the little things – the daily acts of kindness, understanding, and selflessness – that make a marriage truly great.

Secondly, never take each other for granted. In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to forget to pause and appreciate the person by your side. Take time every day to express your gratitude for each other.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, always keep laughter at the center of your relationship. Life will undoubtedly bring its challenges, but if you can face them together with a smile and a sense of humor, you can overcome anything.

Sarah and Mark, as I look at you today, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of love, pride, and joy. Your love story has been a beautiful one to witness, and I know it’s only just beginning.

So let us raise our glasses to the happy couple. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. May you always find comfort, joy, and laughter in each other’s arms. May your journey together be filled with all the happiness, adventure, and love that life has to offer.

To Sarah and Mark – cheers!

Commentary: This lengthy speech is perfect for an uncle who wants to give a heartfelt and emotional tribute. It includes personal anecdotes, reflects on the couple’s relationship, and offers thoughtful pieces of marital advice. This speech would be fitting for a more formal, traditional wedding reception.

Giving a speech as the uncle of the bride is a wonderful opportunity to share your love and wisdom with the happy couple on their big day.

Whether you opt for a short, humorous toast or a longer, more sentimental tribute, the key is to speak from the heart.

This is a celebration of love, family, and new beginnings.

Your words will be a cherished part of this special day, a memory the newlyweds will carry with them as they start their new life together.

So take a deep breath, raise your glass, and let your love and good wishes shine through.

Cheers to the happy couple and the beautiful future that awaits them!

IMAGES

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Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Famous People. Sometimes celebrities can have wise words to provide the masses. Use one of these famous quotes for your funny wedding toast. 31. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman (British-American comedian) 32.
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Of course I am talking about that cake !" 12. "True love does not come from finding the perfect person, luckily for you guys." 13. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." 14. "May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom." 15.
39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speech Quotes
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger. "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up ...
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If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech, you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples of funny opening lines for wedding speeches!The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the ...
10 Classic Wedding Speech Jokes that Work Again & Again
And, hey, stats are stats! " [Newlywed 1] and [Newlywed 2], before I finish, I'd like you to turn to face each other. You're now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!". Anonymous. It's an honor to speak at a wedding, but don't be afraid to include jokes.
120 Maid of Honor Jokes for Speech (Funny Examples)
Try peeing in a floor-length dress!". "Everyone tells you how big of an honor it is to be chosen as a maid of honor. What no one tells you is how many stress dreams you get of the big day.". "I never knew I had a hidden talent for arts and crafts until I was up at 3 a.m. gluing tiny bows on bachelorette party favors.".
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As some of you must have noticed, even the cake is in tiers.". "We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy/girl. Too bad you don't always get what you deserve ...
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The most memorable speeches come straight from the heart, so don't try to be someone you're not or force a bunch of jokes if that's not your style. ... and feel loved. So choose humor that feels authentic to your relationship and the overall vibe of the wedding. Bridesmaid Speech Ideas for a Sister or Best Friend.
List of Wedding Speech Jokes
So ladies and gentlemen - I give you Mr and Mrs Owen. (Take drink and sit down). Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.
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Best funny wedding toasts from movies. 1.) Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever. Knocked Up. 2.) As Bill and Ted once said: Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes! Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
100 Funny Maid Of Honor Speech Examples To Steal- {Bridesmaids Too!}
Tips For Writing Winning Bridesmaid Speeches. The maid of honor speech is an important part of any wedding because it's a time for the maid of honor to tell a few jokes and share some light-hearted memories about how she feels about the bride.
15 Wedding Jokes To Make Your Speech The Toast Of The Evening!
15 Wedding Jokes for Speeches. In this article, we've broken down our list of hilarious wedding jokes into the following three categories: Jokes For The Best Man; Jokes For The Maid-of-honour; General Wedding Jokes; Wedding Jokes For The Best Man. As the best man, you are expected to take the micky out of the groom, just a little bit.
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Share the joy. "To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.". - Mark Twain. While you're thinking about including this quote in your wedding toast, take a look ...
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Funny Wedding Speeches From The Bride. We are halfway through the tissue box at this time because the bride is all blush and giggles — with starry eyes as she gives her speech. As a bride, your speech will be an emotional one, so a lot of humor is quite needed for a perfect balance. You'll talk about you and your journey to being Mrs.
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10 funny wedding quotes. "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.". - Ogden Nash. "Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other's minimum daily requirements.". - Kathy Mohnke.
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The groom will be waiting for you at the ALTAR. Everyone will then sing a HYMN to start the ceremony' said the minister. Just remember the order and everything will be fine. On their wedding day, the bride remembered the order and arrived alongside the groom muttering to herself, AISLE, ALTAR, HYMN, AISLE ALTER, HYMN - or as the groom thought ...
50 Funny Groom Speech Jokes to Win Over Wedding Guests
Add these one-liners and puns in your groom speech to woo your wedding guest: I remember the first time I met [Father of the Bride's Name], he took me aside and gave me some advice. He said, 'Son, marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade.'.
6 Joint Bridesmaid Speech Examples
Joint Bridesmaid Speech Examples. A joint bridesmaid speech allows you to share the spotlight, bounce off each other's energy, and create a memorable moment for the newlyweds and their guests. So, whether you're the maid of honor teaming up with a bridesmaid or a group of besties ready to take the mic, we've got you covered with these 6 ...
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FUNNY WEDDING TOAST QUOTES. "Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husband…and that includes the housework.". "May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.". "To the groom: Early in your marriage, you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion.
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Hi, Friend! Jen Glantz here. Let's dive into 100 wedding toast examples that can inspire your perfect speech. Writing a wedding toast can be an intimidating task, but it doesn't have to be. Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a close friend of the couple, having a well-prepared toast can make all the difference in setting the tone for a memorable celebration.
155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech
But you are going to need some amazing marriage jokes to incorporate into your speech. Here are some of the best wedding jokes for you. If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. If you're right and you shut up, you're married. In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.
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15. Make Time for a Couple's Toast. It's common for the newlyweds to take the floor for a speech. Don't let nerves get the best of you and instead follow this couple's lead. We love this bride's wedding speech (and tasteful roast) to her husband, who originally didn't think they'd be a good match. 16.
How to Begin a Wedding Speech: The Best Opening Lines
Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight." "Thank you so much, (name), for such a wonderful introduction.
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Commentary: This lengthy speech is ideal for an uncle who wants to offer a mix of sentimental reflection and sage marital advice. It touches on the bride's strength of character and the deep love the couple shares. This speech would be well-suited to a formal, traditional wedding reception. Speech 5. Hello, everyone.