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• Applying For Scholarships

Why I Deserve This Scholarship Essay Examples 2023

Jennifer Finetti Aug 3, 2022

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One of the most popular scholarship essay questions is “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” Answering such a question can be difficult because you don’t want to sound too needy or greedy. Your essay must stand out from the competition while still being humble and appreciative. Check out these essay writing tips, along with a scholarship essay sample about why I deserve the scholarship.

Tips for writing a “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” essay

Your essay will be unique to your experiences, but there are some general guidelines you should follow. Here are tips for writing a “why I’m deserving scholarship” essay:

• Explain how the scholarship money would contribute to your long-term goals. You’re asking the scholarship committee to invest in your future. They want to ensure their investment goes to a worthy cause. Explain how your education will play a role in your career and overall goals after graduation.
• Focus on the purpose of the scholarship. While writing your essay, keep in mind what the scholarship is for and where it comes from. Tailor your response to the scholarship so it resonates with the review committee.
• Don’t be afraid to promote yourself. This may be your only chance to tell the committee about your achievements. Showing your past success will instill confidence about your future success.
• Use a thesis statement, just like you would with any other essay. You should refer back to the thesis throughout the essay and tie it into the conclusion. If you have trouble creating the thesis at the beginning, write the rest of the essay first. Read through, see what stands out the most, and then write an intro with a cohesive thesis.
• When explaining obstacles in your life, focus on how you overcame them. Show that you’re a problem solver, able to persevere through any situation. You can mention difficulties from your past, but turn the attention to what you did as a result of them.
• Avoid generalizations. Generic statements like “I deserve this because I am a hard worker” aren’t enough. Every applicant is a hard worker, has ‘good grades,’ etc. What makes you different, special and memorable? That should be the topic of your scholarship essay.
• Support your statements with examples. Instead of saying, “I’m a hard worker,” say, “I upheld two jobs while I was in high school to support my family, and I still maintained a 3.75 GPA.” This is no longer a generalization. It is an achievement specific to your life and upbringing.
• Use positive language. Phrases like ‘well-prepared,’ ‘qualified candidate’ and ‘specialized training’ showcase achievements in a positive light. Even in a negative situation, show the positive way you got through it.
• Avoid words like ‘very’ and ‘really.’ You can typically find a one-word substitute that sounds more professional. Very hard turns into difficult. Very good becomes exceptional. Here is an excellent guide for modifiers that replace very .
• Take a one-day break before you edit. Once you have a solid draft written, do not jump straight into editing. Wait a day before looking over your essay. This will let you read the essay with fresh eyes so you can catch inconsistencies, grammar mistakes, and more.

Example 1: Why I deserve this scholarship essay (100 words)

With a 100 word scholarship essay, you need to jump into the thesis as quickly as possible. There is not enough space for a lengthy introduction. Use concise language, and showcase your biggest achievements/goals. You should have enough sentences to break into two small paragraphs, though one may only be two to three sentences.

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I believe I deserve this scholarship because I am an innovative problem solver. As the student council president, I helped re-organize my school library to better accommodate students’ needs. I worked with staff to categorize books to better reflect current school subjects.  I will use the same leadership mindset to obtain my business degree with a focus on project management. My goal is to work in construction management to increase efficiency in low-income housing development. With this scholarship and the need-based grants I will receive, I can complete my education and continue to solve problems within my community.

Word Count: 98

Example 2: Why I deserve this scholarship essay (250 words)

A 250-word scholarship essay usually consists of 4-5 paragraphs. The introduction can have a short lead-in, but it should arrive at the thesis quickly. The body paragraphs should support the assertion made in the first paragraph (the reason you deserve the scholarship). The conclusion should summarize the essay collectively, and it may include a statement of appreciation.

One of the most debated topics in America is how to provide affordable healthcare to the masses. I believe the answer lies in accessible healthcare providers. Nurse practitioners often go unappreciated and unrecognized for their versatility and value in the medical profession. With this scholarship, I could continue my training to become a nurse practitioner and provide attainable medical services to underserved communities. Growing up in a small Montana farming town, the closest hospital was 45 minutes away. The only local family doctor charged whatever he wanted because he was the sole provider. My parents relied on home remedies to treat any ailment my brother and I developed. This is when my passion for medicine first took form. Minimal medical care was not a concern until my father went to the hospital for severe stomach problems. These were the result of Crohn’s disease, a condition that can be managed with treatment. Because my father had not been to the doctor in years, the flare up was highly aggressive. It took months to get it under control and get him on preventative medication. I decided to go to college to help people like my father. As a nurse practitioner I can practice medicine without charging a fortune for my services. I plan to serve in rural communities where hospitals and doctors are limited or non-existent. I am grateful to be considered for this scholarship opportunity, and should I be selected, I will use it to advance my medical education.

Word Count: 248

Example 3: Why I deserve this scholarship essay (500 words)

With a 500-word scholarship essay, you have room to tell your story and create an experience for the reader. Use several introductory sentences to lead into your thesis and set the tone for the essay. The body paragraph should flow in a logical manner, most often chronologically. Then the conclusion should re-emphasize the thesis and leave the scholarship committee with something to remember.

Winston Churchill once said, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” And while I never define my obstacles as ‘failures,’ I mark my success by my repeated perseverance through adversity. I have faced several challenges over the years, from dyslexia to homelessness; yet I continued to earn exemplary grades and graduate at the top of my class. I deserve this scholarship because I have the strength and determination to achieve my goals, no matter what hurdles I have to overcome. I was not born a gifted student. Testing and assignments were always difficult for me, whether I studied or not. In second grade, my parents had me tested for learning disabilities. The psychologist said that I had a hyperactivity disorder and prescribed medication to suppress my energy. After two years abiding by that treatment, I was re-evaluated and diagnosed with dyslexia. This helped me get the treatment I needed, and I finally made progress in school. Shortly after I learned how to study with dyslexia, my father lost his job. He was the sole breadwinner for the household, and I was soon on the street with my mother and two younger siblings. I got a job in newspaper delivery, one of the few fields that will hire a 12-year-old. My father found odd jobs to bring money to the family, and together we were eventually able to pay for a two-bedroom apartment to live in. I was valedictorian that school year, and I maintained a perfect attendance record. Like my father, I knew I had to do whatever was necessary to succeed and thrive. In high school, I developed an interest for psychology. I noticed patterns in behaviors, both in myself and in the people around me. I asked my child therapist, the one who officially diagnosed me with dyslexia, if I could work at his clinic over the summers. He allowed me to intern at his counseling center my junior and senior year, and I gained valuable insight into the business side of psychology. I am now entering the second year of my psychology degree. I plan to complete my bachelor’s degree and earn a Doctorate of Neuropsychology in the years that follow. My focus is on psychological testing, specifically for children with autism or learning disabilities. I spent years struggling in school because of a preventable misdiagnosis.  I want to ensure that other children do not face the same struggles in their future. Why do I deserve this scholarship? Because I have the passion and determination to become a trusted member of the psychological community. With my education, I can help children get the treatment they need at an early age, giving the best chance at finding their own success. You’re not just helping me get through college. You’re improving the quality of life for countless families to come. I appreciate your consideration, and I look forward to building a lasting relationship with your organization.

Word Count: 492

You Should Also Read…

How to Write a Scholarship Motivation Letter

Why Are You Applying to This Scholarship Essay (with Example)

How to Write a Scholarship Essay Introduction (With Example)

How to End a Scholarship Essay

How to Write a Great 250-Word Essay

How to Write a Great 500 Word Essay

5 People Who Should Review Your Scholarship Essays

• Scholarship Essay

Jennifer Finetti

As a parent who recently helped her own kids embark on their college journeys, Jennifer approaches the transition from high school to college from a unique perspective. She truly enjoys engaging with students – helping them to build the confidence, knowledge, and insight needed to pursue their educational and career goals, while also empowering them with the strategies and skills needed to access scholarships and financial aid that can help limit college costs. She understands the importance of ensuring access to the edtech tools and resources that can make this process easier and more equitable - this drive to support underserved populations is what drew her to ScholarshipOwl. Jennifer has coached students from around the world, as well as in-person with local students in her own community. Her areas of focus include career exploration, major selection, college search and selection, college application assistance, financial aid and scholarship consultation, essay review and feedback, and more. She works with students who are at the top of their class, as well as those who are struggling. She firmly believes that all students, regardless of their circumstances, can succeed if they stay focused and work hard in school. Jennifer earned her MA in Counseling Psychology from National University, and her BA in Psychology from University of California, Santa Cruz.

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10 reasons why I deserve a scholarship [model answers and prompt]

Scholarships are an essential aid for many students, but what does it take to secure one? Answering “why do I deserve a scholarship” can feel challenging, yet it’s the key to opening many educational opportunities.

In this article, we break down the top 10 reasons why you might be a deserving candidate, alongside advice on what scholarship committees are seeking.

From displaying academic excellence to overcoming adversity, we provide model answers to help you articulate your story convincingly.

We’ll also guide you on aligning your essay with the funders’ mission, offering tips on crafting a tailored, impactful application.

Read on to equip yourself with the insights and confidence to assert “why I deserve a scholarship”.

Why Do I Deserve A Scholarship? Here are some awesome prompts for your response:

Use the essay prompts below to help beat writer’s block for your essay, especially when crafting a scholarship essay sample.

Essay Prompts and Questions to Answer for your Essay on Why I Deserve a Scholarship:

• “One of my proudest academic achievements is…”
• “I have consistently maintained a GPA of… because…”
• “Due to my family’s financial situation, I have faced challenges such as…”
• “A scholarship would significantly alleviate financial stress by…”
• “I have been actively involved in community service by…”
• “Through my volunteer work with… I have learned…”
• “I demonstrated leadership as the president of…”
• “In my role as captain of the… team, I was responsible for…”
• “I have a unique talent for… which I have developed by…”
• “My skills in… have led me to achieve…”
• “I conducted a research project on… which resulted in…”
• “Leading the project on… taught me…”
• “One significant challenge I have overcome is…”
• “Despite facing… I have managed to…”
• “My passion for… began when…”
• “I am committed to… because I believe…”
• “As the first person in my family to attend college, I have…”
• “This scholarship will help me overcome the challenges of being a first-generation student by…”
• “I contribute to diversity in my community by…”
• “My background in… has allowed me to…”
• “My long-term career goal is to…”
• “Achieving this goal is important to me because…”
• “I have been involved in… which has helped me…”
• “Participating in… has taught me the importance of…”
• “One innovative idea I have is…”
• “In the future, I plan to work on projects that…”
• “My academic plan includes…”
• “My career plan is to…”
• “The values that drive me include…”
• “I am motivated by… because…”

Sentence Starters:

• “I believe I deserve this scholarship because…”
• “My academic record shows…”
• “Financial support is crucial for me as…”
• “Volunteering at… has shaped my…”
• “As a leader, I have…”
• “My unique talent in… has…”
• “Despite facing…, I have…”
• “My commitment to studying… is evident through…”
• “Being a first-generation college student means…”
• “Diversity is important to me because…”
• “My career aspirations include…”
• “Participating in… has allowed me to…”
• “I have a vision for… that involves…”
• “My educational journey includes plans to…”
• “The core values that guide me are…”

Check out my YouTube video on crafting the best personal statement to support your scholarship application!

Why Do Scholarship Organizers Ask This Question?

According to the US Department of Education in Trends From 1995–96 to 2007–08 show us that:

• Total grant aid: $116 billion
• Average grant aid per student: $4900

And the source of the funding is mainly from Universities:

Scholarship organizers ask applicants to answer specific questions to gain a deeper understanding of their motivations and aspirations and give out quite a limited amount of money.

By posing these questions, they are able to assess whether the candidates truly deserve the scholarship opportunity.

The scholarship committee wants to identify individuals who not only have financial need but also display a genuine passion for their field of study or have a compelling personal story.

Moreover, these questions serve as a way to distinguish applicants from one another. It allows the committee to recognize those who stand out and have the potential to make a significant impact in their chosen field.

Scholarship organizers often inquire about how the applicant plans to utilize the funds.

This helps ensure that the scholarship money is going towards a worthy cause and will be used in a productive and beneficial manner.

Therefore, it is crucial for applicants to carefully consider their way to answer these questions, as a well-thought-out response can greatly increase their chances of receiving the scholarship and ultimately, achieving their educational goals. 

What’s the scholarship committee looking for?

The scholarship committee seeks applicants who align with their mission and priorities.

To impress them, adhere strictly to guidelines, including word counts. You may even be called in to a meeting and interview. Check out this link for the best scholarship interview tips!

Research the organization thoroughly, understanding its vision, goals, and objectives.

Reflect these in your essay to show shared values. If no formatting instructions are given, stick to a standard 12-point Times New Roman font with double spacing.

Think from the reviewer’s perspective and ensure your essay resonates with the funders’ priorities.

Tailor your content to the organization’s focus areas.

For example, if you’re a biology major interested in microbiology, emphasize this if it’s relevant to the scholarship. Use the scholarship as a platform to showcase your specific interests. Make your application specific, personal, and focused on the scholarship provider’s interests.

The application isn’t just about you ; it’s about how well you fit with the scholarship’s purpose.

Tips to consider for writing a “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” essay – sample answers

Writing a “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” essay can be challenging.

Begin by sharing your story, focusing on your accomplishments, demonstrating how you’re a hard worker, your leadership or volunteer experiences make you a deserving candidate for the scholarship.

Here are some elements that you should consider including in your application.

• Express Aspirations for Community Service : Make sure to express your desire to create a positive impact on the community through something like a scholarship fund, nonprofit, charity, or other forms of community service in your scholarship essay. This shows relatability to the scholarship committee.
• Personalize Your Application : Try to personalize your application by addressing the scholarship board directly, or including a heartfelt message in your thank you note.
• Elaborate on Your Financial Situation : If there are significant financial circumstances that weren’t covered in your FAFSA application, mention them. Highlight special circumstances like extensive medical bills, family situations, etc., that necessitate additional financial support.
• Narrate Your Growth Journey : Include a story of personal growth or overcoming a challenge in your essay. This can be a narrative of triumphing over hardships in a particular class or a life event.
• State Your Career Goals : Clearly state your major or career goals, and what inspired you to pursue them. Use simple, understandable language especially when applying for scholarships not directly related to your field of study.
• Mention Relevant Experiences : Include the activities, community service, clubs, associations, and coursework that relate to your major or career goals. Don’t just list them, narrate how these experiences have shaped you and prepared you for your career.
• Demonstrate How the Scholarship Will Help : Without sounding entitled, explain how receiving the scholarship will aid in your academic journey. Try to be humble and indirect, stating your need without sounding too desperate.
• Detail Your Life Goals : Including your long-term life goals in your essay gives the scholarship committee a clear vision of your future plans.
• Show Your Community Involvement : Indicate any community involvement that relates to your career or life goals. This shows that you’re proactive and already engaged in activities aligned with your objectives.
• Highlight Leadership Positions : If you’ve held leadership roles, elaborate on the duties and responsibilities associated with those positions. This demonstrates initiative, management skills, and responsibility.
• Name Your Role Models : Mention who has motivated you or had a significant impact on your life. You could quote them if their words tie into the overall theme of your essay.

The scholarship committee is seeking a worthy cause, so illustrate how supporting your dreams aligns with their values. 

Proofread attentively, ensuring your scholarship essay is clear, persuasive, and free of errors.

By following these tips, your answer to “why you deserve this scholarship” may compel the committee to acknowledge you as a deserving scholarship recipient. 

Tips on Answering “Why Do I Deserve a Scholarship?”

It’s essential to frame your achievements on a scholarship application not as bragging, but showcasing your capability and motivation. This approach can turn your essay into a compelling scholarship opportunity.

Acknowledge that your need, while genuine, isn’t to beg but to highlight how the scholarship helps you overcome your challenges.

Here are the best ways to do this!

1. Understanding the Scholarship Essay Question

Understanding the essay question, “Why do I deserve this scholarship?” is crucial for drafting a compelling response. Don’t see it as a mere requirement but as an opportunity to make your case convincingly and uniquely.

2. Focusing on the Future: How Scholarships Support Career Goals

Scholarships aren’t just about avoiding student debt, they’re stepping stones towards your future career. Discuss how this scholarship will facilitate your long-term educational goals and broader contributions to society.

3. Aligning Your Interests: Tailoring Your Answer to the Scholarship’s Purpose

Research the organization offering the scholarship. If it’s associated with a specific field or honors a certain individual, tailor your response to reflect alignment with the scholarship’s purpose or values.

4. Crafting a Story: The Importance of Using Specific Examples

Generalizations rarely make an impact. Instead, use specific examples from your life that highlight your attributes. Show the judges your qualities rather than just telling them.

5. Showcasing Kindness: Illustrating Personal Attributes with Real-Life Instances

Demonstrate your kindness, selflessness, or commitment to community service through real experiences. A story that shows your empathy and care can set you apart from the crowd.

6. Overcoming Challenges: The Art of Displaying Resilience in Scholarship Essays

Sharing how you’ve overcome obstacles shows your resilience and problem-solving skills, characteristics highly valued by scholarship committees. Highlight your ability to turn challenges into opportunities.

7. Striking a Balance: Sharing Past Struggles without Dwelling on Them

While it’s important to share past struggles, the focus should be on your resilience and how you’ve overcome these challenges. It’s not about evoking sympathy, but about demonstrating your strength and determination.

8. Ensuring Success: Proving Your Potential through Past Experiences

Showcase your potential for success by drawing on past experiences that demonstrate your commitment and determination. The more convincingly you can argue this, the more likely you are to secure the scholarship.

9. Utilizing the Word Count: Maximizing Your Space for Maximum Impact

Using the maximum word limit allows you to provide a detailed and compelling response. Don’t write less than the limit and don’t exceed it. Every word is an opportunity to persuade the committee.

10. Conclusion: Effectively Conveying Why You Deserve the Scholarship

Wrap up your essay by summarizing your key points. Reiterate your passion, commitment, and potential, leaving a lasting impression of why you indeed deserve the scholarship.

Wrapping up – applying for a scholarship so you are awarded a scholarship

Applying for a scholarship involves more than just financial need or exceptional grades.

It’s about convincing the selection committee that you not only align with their mission and values but that you also bring unique qualities that set you apart from other candidates.

It’s about sharing your life’s journey, demonstrating your resilience, and illustrating how the scholarship will help you in furthering your education, achieving your career goals, and making a difference in your community.

Your scholarship essay should be a blend of your aspirations, achievements, personal struggles, and the difference you aspire to make. It should give a compelling answer to the question, “Why do I deserve this scholarship?”

Your response should showcase your commitment, determination, and the potential for success you’ve demonstrated through your academic or career experiences so far.

Applying for scholarships can seem daunting, but with a bit of time, effort, and using the tips provided in this blog, you can craft a winning scholarship essay that resonantly answers “Why I deserve this scholarship?”.

Always remember, it’s not just about whether you think you’re deserving but being able to effectively communicate this to the scholarship committee.

So, take the leap, believe you deserve to win, and put forth your best self in your application.

Best of luck with your journey!

Dr Andrew Stapleton has a Masters and PhD in Chemistry from the UK and Australia. He has many years of research experience and has worked as a Postdoctoral Fellow and Associate at a number of Universities. Although having secured funding for his own research, he left academia to help others with his YouTube channel all about the inner workings of academia and how to make it work for you.

Thank you for visiting Academia Insider.

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“Why Do You Deserve This Scholarship” Essay (+Examples)

While landing a full-ride scholarship might seem like hitting the jackpot, numerous scholarships offer amounts between $1000 to $5000. With the right strategy, these can significantly reduce college debt and associated expenses. But here’s the catch: crafting the perfect scholarship essay is often a requirement. Surprisingly, many students overlook the immense impact of a compelling essay, even though it’s a cornerstone of college admissions. This essay is a canvas to paint who you are, your values, and your aspirations. And often, the pivotal question to address is: “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” For those seeking an edge, there are resources like scholarship essays for sale to help craft the perfect piece. But in this guide, we break down how to ace that pivotal question and increase your scholarship odds. Plus, stick around for a sample essay to spark your inspiration.

Twelve keys to a successful scholarship essay (summary):

Why do you deserve this scholarship essay: how to write it properly, 1. write at least 500 words, 2. respect the grammar, vocabulary, and formatting rules.

5 paragraphs (1 for the introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and 1 for the conclusion). Make sure the essay is free of typos and grammatical errors. That’s the first step to writing a winning scholarship essay.

3. Give strong reasons for why you deserve the scholarship and what will you do with the money – be specific.

“I have 5 pages, Can I use the Xerox machine before you because I’m in a rush” got a 94% success rate vs. 60% when no “reason why” was given.

“I deserve this scholarship because I graduated top of my class, even though I still had to help my little sister with her homework”. “I would be so grateful if I could receive this scholarship because my family is in a tough financial situation now, and my younger sister also dreams about going to college”.

4. Include a powerful, memorable story

Here’s an excerpt:.

This memory has woven itself into my philosophy and my dreams. The very personal knowledge that millions live in a way such that electric toothbrushes are an unfathomable luxury (my cousin, Aina), has given me the following personal rules:

5. Use words with an emotional impact

6. give proof of why you deserve it, 7. hook – get attention from the very beginning.

The scholarship committee has to go through dozens and dozens of essays and applications every day. Most of them are quite bland and follow the same tired script. To stand out, you need to come up with an attention-grabbing paragraph  that will stop them in their tracks and get them focused. This is called a “hook”. There are a couple of ways in which you can do it.

You can start with:

8. demonstrate the right attitude, 9. paint a bright picture of your future.

Try to stir the imagination of the recipients of your essay. How this money is going to help you move ahead? What great things are you going to accomplish in the future? What do you want to do when you graduate? What are your goals for the next 5 years? How are you going to help people and contribute to society? By answering some of these questions, you will prove to the committee that you are worth investing in. You can bolster your claims by providing evidence of activities you take part in and the character traits you possess. This will help the committee gain valuable insight into your psychology and increase your chances of getting the scholarship money. Have you participated in community service activities, volunteered for a worthy cause from an early age, and achieved exemplary grades during the school year? Being a trusted member of your community matters a lot and shows that you’re destined for great things. Example: “Deep inside, I know that I’m going to succeed, and help many other people on the way. This is just a matter of time.”

10. Call to action (close the essay with a bang)

Additional tips for editing and managing the scholarship essay:.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, there are over 750,000 scholarships available to students. That’s over $122 billion distributed every year. In fact, around two-thirds of students receive financial aid during their time in college. So – someone is getting the money. And that’s why you need to apply and send the essays to as many scholarship and grant-giving organizations as possible. Treat it as a part-time job. Now, among these 750,000 organizations (whether federal, university-based, or private), the majority will ask in one way or another: “Why should you receive this scholarship”? Of course, you will not send a unique essay along with every single application. You need to learn how to recycle it and adapt it to the specific situation. For example, if you apply for a university scholarship, the focus should be on scholastic achievements and a future in science and technology. If it’s a military organization, talk more about self-discipline, organization, and willpower. Religious groups? Adjust the essay so it relates to faith-based communities. Businesses? Talk about the entrepreneurship of the student, and their ability to  get things done. You get the point. When writing the essay, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think – “If I were this person, which reasons would convince me that this student deserves a scholarship?” Turn yourself and your child into scholarship copywriters and adapt the approach as you go. There’s nothing that will get the application rejected faster than receiving a “cookie-cutter” type of essay that goes to hundreds of organizations without any changes.

An example of a “Why do you deserve this scholarship” essay

Two-thirds of students who earned a four-year degree borrowed for college. The average student loan is $28,500. These numbers seem mild in comparison to what I and my family are facing. My older brother and sister are already in college because my mom always wanted us to be  well-educated and make a positive impact on society. But this has caused us to borrow, and now we’re over $60,000 in debt. Our father is never here to help us as he left us when we were still small children. But this hasn’t stopped me from dreaming and painting a brighter vision for my future. I know that to get out of this situation, I will have to work harder than anyone else around me. Even though I’m young, I have already worked part-time in a local cafeteria and earned a little bit of money  on the side as a blogger to help my family. My true vocation is architecture. Ever since I was a child, I used to flip through the pages of “The Most Beautiful Buildings in The World” book in the nearby library and think that one day, I too would be able to construct magnificent structures full of light and color. I’m drawing as much as I can, and I have already filled 12 notebooks with my projects. I also received straight “A’s” in mathematics and physics since the very beginning of my school time. I even got first place in my high school art competition and my teachers say I’m going to accomplish great things in the future. I am dedicated to succeeding no matter what, but nowadays it’s becoming harder and harder because I have to save every penny and worry about money almost all the time. I fear that instead of pursuing my dream, I will have to settle for a low-paying job simply to survive and help my mom. But I don’t want to postpone my studies and wait until my siblings pay off their debt. I don’t want to put everything on hold. If I received a bit of financial help, it would be so much easier for me to go through college and become somebody. I deserve this scholarship because of my hard work, dedication, fantastic grades, and my entrepreneurial spirit. I promise I will make this money go a long way and continue with my efforts to make the world  a better place. I’m eagerly waiting for your response.

As you can see, writing a “Why do you deserve this scholarship” essay is easier than it seems. Once you have the final draft, you can use it as a template (with modifications), when applying for many scholarships. The important thing in scholarship essays is to push the right emotional buttons, share the exact reasons you deserve the money, and never give up until you get the scholarship. Don’t trust the companies that say they will find the scholarships for you and write  the best essay that will guarantee success. No one cares about your situation more than you, and it’s who needs to show up as a hard worker with strong leadership skills to make it happen.

Rafal Reyzer

Hey there, welcome to my blog! I'm a full-time entrepreneur building two companies, a digital marketer, and a content creator with 10+ years of experience. I started RafalReyzer.com to provide you with great tools and strategies you can use to become a proficient digital marketer and achieve freedom through online creativity. My site is a one-stop shop for digital marketers, and content enthusiasts who want to be independent, earn more money, and create beautiful things. Explore my journey here , and don't miss out on my AI Marketing Mastery online course.

How to answer “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” essay prompt (with examples!)

When you’re applying for scholarships, you’ll see tons of different essay prompts. Two of the most common are “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” or its variant “Why are you applying for this scholarship?” While these might seem like intimidating questions, don’t overthink them! These are straightforward questions that you can easily answer. Here’s how.

What’s the scholarship committee looking for?

Tips to consider.

• Examples of “Why I Deserve It” scholarship essays

Variant: “Why are you applying for this scholarship?”

Variant: “why do you need this scholarship”, ready to start answering an essay prompt like this.

Scholarship providers want to give the award to the most deserving student. So by including these prompts, they’re basically asking: Why should it be you?

In particular, they want to know:

• What makes you unique? What are your particular interests and motivations?
• How do your strengths and goals fit in with this particular scholarship? For instance, why you might deserve an athletic scholarship might be different from why you deserve a financial need scholarship . 
• How will you make use of the scholarship funds? Scholarship providers want to know their awards will make a difference. Show them how this money would really help advance your goals.

Link your passions to the scholarship

One of the first things to consider is to express who you are in your writing. Show scholarship providers why you deserve this scholarship by painting them a picture of who you are and what drives you. But remember to keep it related to the scholarship. For example:

• If you’re applying for a journalism-related scholarship, explain how you became interested in journalism, and what kind of journalism you hope to pursue.
• If you’re applying to a community service scholarship , explain what kind of community service you do and why you’re committed to it.

Show your grit

This is where your scholarship essay might get personal . You might deserve this scholarship because you have persevered through some personal struggles. Those struggles might be more serious–for example, related to family income (growing up poor) or physical obstacles (a disability or injury). Or it might be a more fleeting personal circumstance (like not getting that student organization position you were vying for).

In any case, focus on how you overcame these difficulties–and how the experiences have shaped who you are today. Also remember to focus it back on the scholarship topic at hand.

For example, if you’re applying to an arts scholarship, you might say:

Although I always loved art, growing up poor in a rural area made it difficult to have access to the fine arts museums (far away) or materials (too expensive). So I made do in other ways. I borrowed art books from the library and did virtual tours of the Met and the MOMA from my home computer. And since I couldn’t afford a fancy SLDR camera, I learned all the iPhone photography tricks I could, and used open-source software to do post-production on my photos.

This kind of statement shows how much the student loves art and the lengths the’ve gone to, in order to explore the medium, despite obstacles. A scholarship committee might read this and think: “This student is particularly deserving of our scholarship.

Share what you plan to do with the scholarship award

Why you are deserving doesn’t just have to do with your past achievements; it also has to do with your future plans and goals. Scholarship providers want to fund students who will go on to achieve great things or who wish to give back to their communities.

For instance, in scholarship winner Michelle Marie Charles’ essay, she explains how the award money will be put to good use:

My wish is to help guide undocumented people to obtain a job in a foreign country, and to fight for them to stay in the country. […] Once I am an attorney, I will seek new opportunities to expand the help provided to immigrants. I will create programs that specifically target undocumented people to know their own voice and to educated themselves about the law. […] I know the long journey that lays ahead of them and know how difficult the process of transferring to undocumented to citizen is, but I want to be there so they know that they still have a choice.

Examples of “Why I Deserve It” scholarship essay s

In general, there are three ways we’ve seen Going Merry students successfully tackle this essay. 

1. Treat it like a résumé, in paragraph form.

Since it’s asking you to brag about your strengths, some essay answers simply describe the applicant’s multiple accomplishments (either in chronological order, or grouped by interest/category – like academics, sports, research, student clubs). This is a particularly good strategy if the scholarship application doesn’t ask for a résumé or list of extracurricular activities. In that case, this essay is your opportunity to discuss those.

An example version of this might read like this :

“I [have been committed] to programs that would further develop my view of the world. I have been involved in Choir and Music Club. I have also been a member of the Red Crescent club for 3 years, which has expanded my exposures to other cultures by learning another language and studying multiple customs. I have been the captain of both the varsity golf and softball teams for two years, developing my leadership skills. My involvement in both my school and community prove that I am a student committed to developing a promising future.”

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2. Treat it like a personal statement. 

Maybe you deserve the scholarship because of the type of person you are: someone who has overcome adversity, thinks deeply, is passionate about a specific subject, or wants to contribute to their community. In that case, you might simply be able to reuse your personal statement , tweaking it slightly to be able to explain how your personal characteristics or narrative make you a deserving scholarship recipient. 

One example of this is Going Merry winner Jesús Adrian Arroyo-Ramirez’s essay , which discusses how he overcame the obstacle of his immigration status. He writes:

I was illegally brought to this country when I was just six years old. At the time I had no clue that I was breaking any laws, and I did not realize the fact that my life was going to change forever. Growing up with a different citizenship situation than my peers was and still is the biggest challenge I have to face in my life. Looking back there is not a single thing that I would change. Knowing that I had to work harder than everyone else led me to be the person that I am today. I took that fire inside of me, pushed myself, graduated first in my class with a cumulative 4.0 GPA, became a Kansas Scholar, and graduated High School with a semester’s worth of college credit. In November of 2016, everything began to look up for me. I received a work permit and a social security card all thanks to the DACA program. I was finally able to get my license, get a job, and most importantly attend college. I plan to continue my success in the classroom and do everything to the best of my ability as I know that under my current circumstances it can all be ripped away from me at any moment. Growing up with my situation has taught me to not take advantage of a single opportunity. 

3. Treat it like a career and/or academic goals essay. 

You’re likely using your scholarship money to attend college or grad school, so that you can pursue certain academic or career interests. You can discuss those, and then explain how scholarship funding would allow you to continue down that intended path, just like this short essay did : 

“The scholarship award will only push me further towards my Accounting degree and my dreams of one day having a successful career as an Accountant. […] Five years from now I see myself employed at a large local firm, crunching numbers, evaluating,and solving certain financial matters. I just feel blessed that I am given the opportunity to be awarded a scholarship to help fulfill my dream and I will prove that I do have what it takes to not only be a successful student, but an outstanding accountant.”

Here’s a guide on writing a career goals essay , and another guide for writing an essay on your academic goals . 

Is this the same question as “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” Yes and no. Both questions get at the same core idea (why are you relevant and deserving of the scholarship money), so for both essay prompts, your essay should describe your strengths and future plans. 

However, to properly answer this “why are you applying” question, you’ll need to more explicitly address your interest in the scholarship topic (e.g. if it’s a scholarship for nursing, why are you interested in nursing), as well as information about your financial situation (you are likely applying because you have need for the money, to pay for college or grad school). 

What about this one? Is this the same question?

Nope! This is a question about financial need. Although it may be uncomfortable to discuss, this prompt is asking you directly about your financial situation and why additional funding is necessary for you to pursue your academic or career plans.  Here’s more information about how to write a statement of financial need .

Also, check out this helpful list of the 10 most common scholarship essay topics to get started!

Now that you’ve got a better grasp on how to answer a prompt like, “Explain why you deserve this scholarship,” we think you’re ready to start writing and applying to scholarships! Get started by signing up for a free profile with Going Merry . You can write your essay and apply to thousands of scholarships . Just think of us as your one-stop shop for all things scholarships, including essay writing resources.

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How to Write a “Why Do You Deserve This Scholarship?” Essay

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

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When you are applying for scholarships (or college admissions), you’ll find many scholarships that require essays . These essays can vary, but you’ll come across certain prompts multiple times. One of the most common prompts you’ll see is why do you deserve this scholarship? The specific phrasing of the prompt may change from scholarship to scholarship, but the gist of the question is about why the scholarship committee should award you the scholarship.

Before we get into tips for how you can write a winning “why do you deserve this scholarship” essay, we’ll tell you why scholarship committees ask this essay question.

Don’t miss: Scholarships360’s free scholarship search tool

What is the scholarship selection committee looking for in this essay?

This is actually really simple: the scholarship committee is looking to identify the most deserving student for the scholarship. This is why it is important to take some time to research the specific scholarship opportunity, as well as the organization that is funding the scholarship. You will likely find some clues on the scholarship website to illuminate what the scholarship opportunity is all about. 

What type of scholarship are you applying for? 

The type of scholarship you are applying for matters greatly in altering your essay responses! 

Here are a few common scholarships you may apply for: 

• Major-related 
• Community service
• Location-based
• Job-related

Depending on the type of scholarship, you should cater your essay response to it! Meaning, if you are applying for a community service scholarship, you should be detailing the specific type of community service you do, why you do it, how you got into doing it, and if you will continue doing a similar service in college. 

Also, it should go without saying that you should be applying to these specific scholarships if you have a passion or connection to the topic! For example, you should not be applying to a journalism scholarship if you have no experience in journalism and want to pursue biology in college! Rather, you should be applying to biology and STEM-based scholarships! Not only does this personal connection increase your odds of winning the scholarship but it also will make your life easier by writing about things you truly care about! 

How to write a “Why do you deserve this scholarship” essay in 4 steps

Make a strong first impression.

As with any scholarship essay, you will want to start the essay by engaging the reader right away. By starting strong and grabbing the reader’s attention, your essay will immediately stand out. You can start with a brief slice from an analogy that you’ll dig into later, a bold statement, or, when appropriate, a joke. Try to make the first sentence central to your essay, but avoid writing out your main idea verbatim.

Learn more: How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

Use specific examples from your own life

Next, you will want to show the reader why you deserve the scholarship with a few specific examples from your life . These examples should be tailored to the scholarship awarding organization. Don’t just write what happened, but rather, extrapolate a meaning from your examples and illustrate what they demonstrate about you and how you’ve learned from them.

Oftentimes, the most important part of an essay isn’t the events you write about, but the meaning you glean from them. Show your reader that you take a thoughtful approach to these experiences and you’ll find success in your applications.

Related: College essay primer: Show, don’t tell

Keep in mind the focus of the scholarship

Every scholarship and scholarship awarding organization is different. That’s why it is a smart move to tailor your scholarship essay to the scholarship and/or organization.

If you are applying for aviation scholarships , the scholarship committee will be very interested in why you are interested in studying aviation or aeronautical engineering. So, strong candidates for these scholarships will have some sort of demonstrated track record that is related to aviation.

Similarly, if you are applying from a scientific organization, you will want to be specific about your interests. This means specifying your field of interest between science, technology, engineering, or mathematics .

Learn More: How to write a winning scholarship essay

Share more information about your career and educational goals

Finally, you will want to shed some light on how you plan on using the scholarship award (if you were to win it!). Are you planning on attending a specific college? Perhaps you are pursuing a technical or vocational certificate? Or maybe your career pathway will require a masters or doctoral degree?

Whatever the case, you’ll want to show the scholarship committee exactly what you plan on using the scholarship award for and how that fits into your educational and/or career goals.

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Top tips for writing scholarship essays.

• Be authentic and tell the truth! 
• Describe what you would do with the scholarship money specifically 
• Answer the question it is asking fully 
• Do not veer off track of the question 
• Apply for scholarships that you are passionate about
• Get personal! 

Don’t want to write an essay? Be sure to check out: Top no essay scholarships

Looking for more help writing your scholarship essays?

Check out our extensive guide to responding to the most common scholarship prompts to help you respond effectively to other common prompts. And we’ve also got you covered with these mini-guides on:

• How to write a 250 word essay
• How to write a 500 word essay
• What’s the best scholarship essay format?

Remember, it’s never too early to apply for scholarships, so apply to all you qualify for–your future self will be thankful! 

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how to write a 'why i deserve this scholarship' essay.

I'm applying for a scholarship and the essay prompt asks why I deserve the scholarship. Is there a balance between sounding humble yet confident? How should I approach this topic? Any advice would be much appreciated!

When writing a "why I deserve this scholarship" essay, it's essential to find the right balance between humility and confidence. Here's an approach you can consider:

1. Begin with a strong introduction: Grab the reader's attention by sharing a brief anecdote, a thought-provoking question, or an interesting fact about yourself that directly relates to the scholarship. Ensure that your introduction provides context for the rest of your essay.

2. Showcase your achievements: Without sounding overly boastful, highlight your most relevant accomplishments, awards, or recognitions that demonstrate your qualifications for the scholarship. Focus on those that relate to the scholarship's mission or your chosen field of study.

3. Explain your financial need: If the scholarship is based on financial need, briefly provide an honest explanation of your financial situation. Mention any unexpected circumstances or challenges you've faced that contribute to your need for financial assistance.

4. Discuss your goals and aspirations: Explain your academic, professional, and personal objectives that the scholarship will help you achieve. Be specific and clear about what you hope to accomplish and how the financial support will make a difference in your education and future success.

5. Emphasize your passion and commitment: Explain how your dedication to your goals and field of study sets you apart from other applicants. Share examples of your hard work, persistence, and passion, highlighting your unique attributes that make you deserving of the scholarship.

6. Demonstrate your community involvement and leadership: Scholarships often appreciate candidates who give back to their communities. Discuss your involvement in community service, school clubs, or other extracurricular activities where you've demonstrated leadership and a commitment to helping others. Show how these experiences have shaped your character and further motivate your goals.

7. End with a strong conclusion: In your conclusion, summarize why you deserve the scholarship, reiterating your achievements, aspirations, and dedication. Express gratitude for the opportunity to apply and the potential financial support.

To learn more, read this blog post: https://blog.collegevine.com/how-to-write-a-scholarship-essay/

Remember to tailor your essay specifically to the scholarship's mission, goals, and selection criteria. Proofread and edit your essay to refine your language, tone, and clarity. Good luck with your application, and remember to be genuine, compelling, and focused in your response!

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12 Effective “Why This College?” Essay Examples

What’s covered.

• Essay 1: UPenn Nursing
• Essay 2: UPenn
• Essay 3: UW Madison
• Essay 4: Northwestern
• Essay 5: NYU
• Essay 6: NYU
• Essay 7: Boston University
• Essay 8: Boston University
• Essay 9: Tufts
• Essay 10: Tufts
• Essay 11: Georgia Tech
• Essay 12: Georgia Tech

Where to Get Your Essays Edited

The “ Why This College?” essay is one of the most common supplemental prompts. These school-specific essays help colleges understand if you’re a good fit for them, and if they’re a good fit for you.

In this post, we’ll share 12 “Why This College?” essay examples from real students and explain what they did well, and what could be improved. Read these examples to understand how to write a strong supplemental essay that improves your chances of acceptance.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Essay Example #1: UPenn Nursing

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay has many positive aspects, but the most impressive one is the structure. Utilizing the Five C’s of Caring to discuss Penn’s offerings was a genius way of tying in this student’s passion for nursing while also making their essay exciting and easy to read. Beginning each paragraph with the respective adjective helped focus the paragraph and allowed the student to demonstrate how they exemplify each quality without explicitly stating it. The student wasn’t afraid to think outside the box and add creativity to their essay structure, which really paid off.

Another positive is how specific and specialized the Penn resources and opportunities the student mentions are. This essay did not fall into the trap of name-dropping professors or programs. In every paragraph, there was a connection to something the student wants to do at Penn to further themselves in the respective characteristic they were describing.

Not only did this student mention a resource at Penn—whether it was a professor, a class, or a club—in every paragraph, but they elaborated on what that resource was and how it would help them achieve their goal of becoming a nurse. The what and how is what sets this essay apart from other supplements that just name-drop resources for the sake of it. The amount of detail this essay went into about some of these resources makes it clear to the admissions officers reading the essay that this student has seriously looked into Penn and has a strong desire to come to campus and use these resources.

What Could Be Improved

One thing this essay could do to make it stronger is improve the first paragraph. The student does a good job of setting up Sister Roach and the Five C’s, but they don’t mention anything about their desire to study or pursue nursing. The first paragraph mentions both Sister Roach and Penn, but left out the student. This could be fixed by simply adding something along the lines of “I can’t wait to embody these values as a nursing student at Penn” to the paragraph.

Essay Example #2: UPenn

Prompt: Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania?  For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay. (300-450 words)

I always loved watching the worms when it rained. I used to put my little raincoat on, sit on the doorsteps, and watch them move toward the puddles. My younger brother, forever intent on destroying the world around him, would try to stomp on the worms, and I would run after him screaming. In my imagination, the brain looked like a pile of squiggly worms. However, my neuroscience curiosity has since grown beyond a worm’s habits.

For example, my mother thought that I was insane when I wanted to watch American Murder: The Family Next Door . To her immense relief, I was interested in the psychology of the criminal rather than the crime itself. Although neuroscience is my primary interest, I also hope to learn more about the intersection between law and medicine at the UPenn College of Arts and Sciences. I’ve been able to explore this topic through various projects at school such as presentations on juvenile crime and the death penalty.

At the University of Pennsylvania, I look forward to taking classes like Forensic Neuroscience (BIBB 050) as well as Neuroscience and Society (PSYC 247) both of which directly combine my two interests. Hopefully, the Take Your Professor to Dinner program resumes as I would make sure to talk to Dr. Daniel Langleben about his research on forensic functional brain imaging over a meal of Philly cheesesteaks.

I also hope to participate in the Race, Science, and Society Program where I can discover how race biases and neuroscience go hand-in-hand and contribute to the fight against racism. The Beyond Arrests: Re-Thinking Systematic-Oppression Group immediately caught my attention while looking at Penn’s opportunities to engage in relevant dialogue. My fascination with the criminal system began with reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , and Penn will both fuel that curiosity as well as introduce new questions about the world of justice reform.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and a five-time reader of the Percy Jackson franchise, I would like to take classes in the Penn Classical Studies department where I can learn more about the impact of ancient cultures on society today. Classes such as Greek and Roman Medicine (CLST 271) would intersect my interests in medicine and classical civilizations.

Although I do harbor a deep love for Philly cheesesteaks and enjoyment of running in strange places like the Woodlands Cemetery, the range of programs to support my diverse interests and unmatched opportunities to put learning into action make me confident that the University of Pennsylvania is the best university for me to succeed.

The real strength in the essay lies in the sheer number of details this student is able to include in a short space, without sacrificing style and flow. The first two paragraphs really have nothing to do with Penn, but the inclusion of them makes this response feel like an essay, rather than a list of offerings at Penn. Striking the balance is important, and the anecdote at the beginning ultimately humanizes the writer.

From the three unique courses to the specific professor and his research to the race and criminal justice programs, this student has clearly done their homework on Penn! The key to this essay’s success isn’t just mentioning the offerings at Penn that excite the student, but the context that explains how each opportunity fits into the student’s academic interests.

Adding book titles like Crime and Punishment and Percy Jackson to support their passion for the criminal justice system and classics are extra details that help us learn more about how this student pursues their passions outside of the classroom. Finding little ways to humanize yourself throughout the essay can take it from good to great.

One area of improvement for this essay is the structure. It follows a very traditional “ Why This College? ” framework—start with an anecdote, then discuss classes, and then extracurriculars and programs—that gets old quickly for admissions officers.

A great way to add some spice to the format would be to use a sample schedule for the day. This essay mentions three different classes, two different groups, and a Take Your Professor to Dinner opportunity. Together, that’s the recipe for a full day at UPenn!

There are a few ways to play around with an essay that follows a typical day-in-the-life. Maybe each paragraph starts with a time and explains what they do during that hour. Maybe they narrate walking through campus on their way from one class to the next and what they just learned. However they choose to go about it, adding in a playful spin to the traditional essay structure is one of the best ways to instantly set an essay apart from the crowd. 

Essay Example #3: UW Madison

Prompt: Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided, please describe your areas of possible academic interest. (650 words)

Essay – # Day 117

7:30 am… As I open my eyes, I look at the pinboard in front of my bed. Written in red block letters are two of the many goals of my life: “Make life better and more independent for the Visually impaired; Inspire kids to explore the field of STEM, making them the future problem solvers.“

Keeping these goals afresh in mind, I freshen up and prepare for the first class of the day, ​ECE 533 Image Processing. As the professor explains the Applications of Image Processing in Computer Vision, a light bulb sparks in my mind. I can modify the head contraption of PERIPHIS to identify objects in peripheral vision and alert the wearer via an earpiece using Text to Speech (TTS). 

After the class, I see Professor Mohit Gupta at the WISION Lab, where he shares his insights from the Block World Cameras system, which helps to geometrize 3D Man-made environments. We brainstorm ways we can implement this system on PERIPHIS.

Deep in the discussion and intrigued by my curiosity, he asked me where my interest in this niche field sparked during high school, and then I recount the incident from 9th grade: 

“In Hindi – Agar aaj mere paas paise hote to ye din na dekhna padta” (If I had money, I would not have had to see this day.) 

These were the words of Aadiya, a glaucoma patient, who couldn’t help but cry in despair as she injured herself in an accident just because she couldn’t sense the incoming traffic. During my visit to “Baroda Association for Blind (BAB)” for a survey, I saw and experienced firsthand how hard and inaccessible it is for an underprivileged visually impaired to locomote without anyone’s assistance. 

What happened next was my first adventure into the world of Computer Science and Engineering. I dedicated the next four years to find an affordable solution to a pressing problem. It was called PERIPHIS, a smart wearable that helps alert the visually impaired wearer of impending danger while locomoting.

When I finally presented this device to Aadiya, the smile on her face made me realize how big an impact technology can make in one’s life.

11:00 am… As I head to the Engineering Hall to complete my assignments of COMP SCI 570

Introduction to Human-Computer Interaction, I crossways with my roommate from the Chadbourne Residential College, who is also interested in researching applications of Computer Vision in real life. We fix a time to chat later. 

1:20pm… After a quick bite, I head to Human-Computer Interaction Laboratory. I expand my knowledge on different applications of Computer Science to make human life better than I found. I get fascinated when I see a few students building a child-friendly humanoid robot to teach kids the principles of Coding and AI. I hop in and share insights from my experience of being the President at AiGoLearning and kindling interest in STEM for young children. I explain how crucial the UI is when it comes to technology for the young.

5:00pm… To blow off some steam and socialize, I meet up with my fellow countrymen and artists at the Indian Graduate Students’ Association. We discuss and plan the upcoming Diwali Night Music at Shannon Hall. I feel proud to share my national identity while bringing out my musical self by contributing as a Tabla player at the student organization. 

As I close my day, I reflect and think of the most unique resource at UW. It is not the labs, research facilities, classes, but the people, including the professors and students, all aligned to a single goal: “Solving problems to make society a better place.”

10:00pm… I find my way back to my dorm room and write with red block letters on my pinboard: “Meet with at least 1 Badger every day and gain new insight from them.”

This essay is a stellar example. The day in the life formatting is a common way to spice up your “Why This College?” essay, but the way this writer executes it is nearly flawless.

Opening with the vision board makes the student’s college goals clear from the very start, and this was cleverly done since vision boards are naturally one of the first things you see when you wake up.

The student then takes us to specific courses and labs and shares their thoughts on how they could improve their invention, PERIPHIS. The author seamlessly includes background information on PERIPHIS by including this hypothetical conversation with a professor who speaks their native language.

As we go through the day, we can see that this student will not only be involved academically, but also socially. We learn how important their culture is to them and how they plan to share it with the campus community.

This essay does everything a “Why This College?” essay should: it shares the student’s goals and motivations behind them, how the university can support those goals, and how the student will engage with the campus beyond academics.

There’s not much this essay could improve, besides a few formatting and wording issues. The first line of this essay—“ Essay – # Day 117”—is a great attention-grabber, but the placement of the # symbol is confusing and perhaps should’ve been in front of the number.

There are also a couple spots where wording is a bit awkward, such as these lines:

I crossways with my roommate from the Chadbourne Residential College, who is also interested in researching applications of Computer Vision in real life. We fix a time to chat later. 

It should instead say something like “I run into my roommate” and “We schedule a time”. This is likely due to English not being the student’s native language, but could’ve easily been caught by proofreading from a native speaker.

Essay Example #4: Northwestern

Prompt: While other parts of your application give us a sense of who you are, we are also excited to hear more about how you see yourself engaging with the larger Northwestern community.

In 300 words or less, help us understand how you might engage specific resources, opportunities, and/or communities here. We are curious about what these specifics are, as well as how they may enrich your time at Northwestern and beyond.

For as long as I can remember, I have seen my parents, both farmers, struggling to produce food because of the challenges presented by the environment. Joining Northwestern’s community, and majoring in Environmental Engineering, will allow me to understand what are the reasons behind climate change and learn how to stop them and/or prevent them from happening. 

Having witnessed how plant diseases affect crops, I would like to collaborate in the PLANT-Dx project and in its widespread application. I strongly believe that it will be able to help farmers to improve the quality and quantity of their production, and reduce famine around the world. At some point in my education, I want to take advantage of the study-abroad programs Northwestern has to offer and learn about farming practices in a different part of the world. In addition, I want to conduct research on sustainable alternative farming methods that adapt to the new environmental conditions and that can be practiced in countries with fewer resources.

Apart from having access to outstanding professors, rigorous academics, and cutting-edge research resources, I will be able to be part of a close-knit community genuinely curious about others’ activities, truly passionate about what they do, and not afraid to step out of their comfort zone to make of this world a better place. Being part of Engineers for a Sustainable World at Northwestern will allow me to get to know people that share one of my passions in addition to learning and teaching how to apply sustainable practices in daily life.  

I am already looking forward to marching through the Weber Arch.

This essay is extremely cohesive, as it focuses on the student’s agricultural background and desire to study environmental engineering. The student mentions a couple resources specific to Northwestern, such as the PLANT-Dx project and Engineers for a Sustainable World.

Because of the background information the student provided, their motivations for participating in these opportunities is also clear. We can see that Northwestern would be a school that would help them achieve their goals.

There are two main aspects of the essay that could be improved: the writing and its specificity.

To begin with, the intro paragraph is a bit clunky and vague.  The student should have specified the challenges the environment has presented to their parents’ farming with detailed imagery about droughts or torrential rain. The final sentence about climate change is also much too broad, and the student should’ve stated a goal in a smaller niche of environmentalism.

For example, here’s what a rewritten strong intro paragraph might look like:

The drought this year was bad, and the once-flourishing tomato crops on my family’s farm were afflicted with Southern Blight. As my family and our community struggled to put food on the table for the third year in a year, I resolved to major in Environmental Engineering at Northwestern to learn how to preserve our agriculture in the face of climate change.

Another writing error is the typo in the final paragraph, where they write “to make of this world a better place”. It’s important to proofread your essay and have others help you proofread as well!

Finally, while the essay mentions a couple specific Northwestern resources, the other resources they mention are too vague.  The student could’ve improved by mentioning a specific study abroad program and a current research project on sustainable alternative farming methods. Most colleges let you study abroad and conduct research, so you need to explain why Northwestern is the best place for your goals.

Essay Example #5: NYU

Prompt: We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand – Why NYU? (400 words)

“A futuristic way of looking at academics,” the student panelist said during a New York University virtual information session. I reflected on a conversation I had with my grandma; she couldn’t understand how her vegetarian granddaughter could build a career in the food industry. However much I tried convincing her that vegetarianism was the future, as it offers substantial benefits to the environment and can offer health benefits to a growing population with the same environmental resources, she insisted that tofu would never provide the same satiation as meat. She was raised in a community where meat consumption was embedded in the culture, and its production is a large part of the country’s economy. In contrast, I had the privilege of living a few steps from San Francisco, with many restaurants and grocery stores dedicated to plant-based meat alternatives. Trying innovative recipes and products eventually allowed me to develop my own recipes. Upon my move to Nicaragua, where my grandmother is from, I found my food options to be limited, expensive and hard to find. So I developed my own small-scale solutions that did not break the bank and satiated grandma.

An institution that implements forward-thinking is what I need to reach my goals of changing the future of plant-based diets and people’s views on vegetarianism. NYU’s Nutrition and Food Studies program offers multiple disciplines of food studies that I will apply to my aspirations as a vegetarian. I plan to study under Adjunct Faculty Kayleen St. John, whose success in the plant-based industry and her teaching of the ‘Foundations of Plant-Based Nutrition’ in The Vegetarian Times excites me. The variety of classes like Introduction to Food History, Food Photography, and Food Systems: Food & Agriculture will give me an overview of what is available in the food industry to be prepared for all fields. Not to be cliche, but NYU’s proximity to the city is essential for the rapidly changing vegetarian industry. The multiculturalism available in NYC and NYU will allow me to understand the food system and diets of various cultures, religions, and areas. I can explore the extremes of the food industry, from fancy restaurants to public school cafeterias. These juxtapositions, much like the one I experienced after my move to Nicaragua, will allow me to broaden my reach and demonstrate that the vegetarian diet is not something reserved for select groups but a diet attainable to all. 

A core strength of this essay is the fact it takes its time to provide the reader with ample background on why this student is interested in nutrition and food studies and how they have grappled with difficult questions and surrounding this topic in the past. It’s okay to not mention anything about NYU for a whole paragraph if you are using that space to bring depth to your interests and tell the reader the crucial backstory behind pursuing your intended degree.

Another positive aspect is the inclusion of New York City for a purposeful reason. NYU admissions officers read thousands of essays that just talk about living in NYC for the sake of NYC—this is not what they want to hear. In contrast, this essay focuses on the vast and lively food scene in New York that the student considers to be an invaluable asset to her NYU education. This is a time where including New York actually plays to the appeal of NYU, rather than making it seem like the student is simply applying for the city.

Finally, this student clearly demonstrates that they are someone who wants to change the world for the better, but through their personal niche. NYU is looking for people who express this desire to be a changemaker, but oftentimes sweeping statements like “I want to change the world” come across as vague and disingenuous. The essay does mention changing diets and looking to the future, but it is focused within the student’s specific area of interest, making the claim to change the world more determined and authentic.

This essay could be made stronger if there was a bit more personal reflection included. The first paragraph provides a lot of details on the student’s vegetarianism and how it conflicts with her grandmother and her heritage. What it doesn’t include very much of is how the student thinks and feels about her diet being at odds with that of her family. 

Does this student feel they are betraying their heritage by being vegetarian? What emotions do they feel when people criticize vegetarianism? Why did they go vegetarian in the first place? Probing questions like these that get to the emotional core behind the story in the first paragraph would really help to build out this student’s backstory. We want to understand what their emotional responses and reasoning processes look like, so finding ways to include those into an already expositive paragraph would further bolster this essay.

Essay Example #6: NYU

My mother never takes off her Cartier necklace that my father gave her 10 years ago on their anniversary. As a child, I didn’t fully understand this attachment. However, on my 15th birthday, my aunt gifted me a ring, which was uniquely designed and made up of three rings linked together. Wearing it every day and making sure I would never lose it, I didn’t treat it like my easily replaceable childhood necklaces; it was my piece of luxury. This sparked my deep curiosity for the luxury world. The niche strives to provide the finest and most memorable experiences, as equally as my Japanese attention to detail and my French appreciation towards aesthetic beauty. In a constantly shifting environment, I learned that luxury chases timeless excellence.

NYU Stern’s BS in business and a co-concentration in management and marketing will fully immerse me in the business side of luxury fashion that I aim to pursue a future career in. The luxury marketing track, offered only by NYU, will enable me to assemble the most suited classes to reflect my interests. Specifically, NYU Stern’s exciting electives such as The Dynamics of the Fashion Industry seminar and Brand Strategy & Planning will encourage me to develop the skills that I was introduced to and grew keen on when running a virtual sustainable fashion auction.

As someone who has moved around from Paris to Tokyo, to Chicago and now Athens, I thrive in meeting and collaborating with others from diverse backgrounds. The school’s strong global outlook, demonstrated through Stern’s International Business Exchange Program, further sets NYU apart for me, as it is crucial to building essential soft skills. This opportunity allows me to experience new cultural approaches to luxury business which I can bring back with me to New York, and therefore push me to become a well-rounded business student. Similarly, I am excited to take part in the array of student clubs offered, such as the Luxury and Retail Association (LARA), which I learned about after connecting with and talking to current students. Seeing past talks from employers of companies like Conde Nast, I am eager to learn outside of the classroom from future speakers. 

Finding myself in new situations constantly, I always seek new challenges and explorations – to me, it is clear that NYU Stern will push me to create the finest and most unique learning experiences of timeless excellence.

This essay has an amazing introduction paragraph. It doesn’t mention anything about NYU or what this student is planning on studying, which is what makes it so intriguing. The reader doesn’t know where this student is headed after making such a seemingly unrelated statement about jewelry, but we want to find out. 

Not only does this essay immediately capture the reader’s attention, it maintains a succinct and direct tone that helps the reader effortlessly flow from one paragraph to the next. The student chose to include three opportunities at NYU that excite them and fully elaborate on them. This serves as an excellent example of more is less. 

We aren’t bombarded with a laundry list of classes, professors, and clubs the student wants to take. Instead, the student took a focused approach and described why they were excited by each offering they highlighted. Going deeper into a smaller number of opportunities at the college still shows this student did their research, but it allows for their backstory and goals to be discussed in far greater detail.

While this student does a good job of elaborating, they also mention a few key aspects of their personality as throw-away lines, when it would have been great to elaborate further on them. For example, they mention running a virtual sustainable fashion auction (cool!), but don’t provide us with any details on what that actually entails, how they got involved with it, what they enjoyed about it, etc. They also mention moving around a lot in the context of developing a diverse perspective, but they don’t include any emotional insight into what that was like.

Although there are only 400 words available, and you don’t want to spend too much time discussing the past, it would be nice to see just a sentence or two that delves into the details of this student’s background. The fashion auction and moving around clearly had an impact on the student, so we want to know what that was. If they are choosing to include these details, they must be important in the student’s decision to pursue business at NYU, so they shouldn’t be afraid to divulge the emotional significance to the reader.

Essay Example #7: Boston University

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission.

Boston University’s College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) attracts me because of its support of interdisciplinary study among its wide array of majors. In fact, the CAS now offers a course that combines biology, chemistry, and neuroscience. As I hope to conduct medical research into brain disorders, I plan to pursue all three areas of study. These cross-disciplinary connections at BU will prepare me to do so.

CAS’s undergraduate research program would allow me to work with a mentor, such as Dr. Alice Cronin-Golomb or Dr. Robert M.G. Reinhart related to their research on neurological disorders. With them, I can advance the work I have already completed related to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). In a summer class at our local university, my partner and I extracted data from fMRI and PET studies and inputted them into a coding program. We then created an indicator map, which we imported into another software program, AFNI, to display significant activity in the brain regions affected by DID. Seeing the representation of our data thrilled me because I knew it could eventually help people who live with DID. I want to experience that feeling again. Successfully analyzing these fMRI and PET studies and learning to code drives me to pursue more research opportunities, and this desire motivates me to study at a university that offers research opportunities to undergraduates. BU’s interdisciplinary approach to psychology and support for independent undergraduate research will optimally prepare me for a career as a neurological researcher.

This student clearly outlines BU-specific resources (the interdisciplinary course and undergrad research program), plus how these resources align with their professional goals (to become a neurological researcher). They do name professors, but since their work clearly relates to the student’s interests, it doesn’t look disingenuous, and shows that the student has done research on their fit with BU. The student also provides background on why they want to pursue research, and shows that they already have experience, which makes their interest in the undergrad research program more concrete.

The only thing missing from this essay is the student’s fit with BU in terms of extracurriculars and social life. “Why This College?” essays should also cover extracurriculars, as colleges are also interested in how you’ll contribute to their community. 

In general, these essays should be academic-leaning (especially if they’re under 250 words), but you should still address some social aspects of the college that appeal to you (we recommend about 70% academics, 30% social, with more or less focus on social aspects depending on the word count). 

Since the student probably already detailed their previous research in their Common App activities section, they could’ve just summarized their research background in one sentence (instead of 78 words, which is 31% of the total word count!), and used that valuable space to talk about a specific social aspect of BU that interests them. 

Essay Example #8: Boston University

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission. 

I am fascinated by research, though completely uninterested in the disciplines traditionally associated with it, such as STEM fields. I need to find a school that will balance my desire to conduct research with my interest in political science. 

While many schools boast in-depth student research programs for those looking to cure diseases or develop solutions to global warming, few tout their support for humanities research. Additionally, many universities that do allocate funding to social science research typically reserve these monies for graduate students or upperclassmen. BU, with the help of its Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, will allow me to conduct research on the topics that most intrigue me, such as gender disparity in politics, or the relationship between dominant parties in power and the country’s economy and involvement in foreign affairs. Furthermore, I can begin these studies as early as my first year. Not only can I take classes with professors like Sandra McEvoy or Dino Christenson to develop my interests in a classroom setting, but I could also work with one of them to develop new knowledge in the topics that we both enjoy learning about. With this knowledge base and experience conducting studies with top professors in a respected research institution, I will be well-prepared for my future law career. I want to learn in an environment that encourages independent study no matter one’s field of interest or experience, and BU’s support of intellectual curiosity for all of its students makes it a perfect fit for me.

This student knows exactly what they want, and they’re not afraid to state it bluntly. Their intro paragraph is totally honest about their interests (or lack of interest), and we immediately understand one of their main college goals: to conduct political science research.

The student mentions a specific resource, the Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, as well as an alignment with BU’s value of encouraging independent study in all fields. Showing alignment with a specific value of the university is a great way to take your essay to the next level.

This essay shows us that the student would be a great fit for BU and would take advantage of its research opportunities.

The writer mentions some of their research interests, but doesn’t explain the motivation behind them. We don’t actually learn very much about the student themself, which is a common flaw of “Why This College?” essays. The essay would’ve been stronger if they’d explained why they’re interested in “gender disparity in politics, or the relationship between dominant parties in power and the country’s economy and involvement in foreign affairs.” For example, maybe they feel strongly about abortion rights and are upset about the way men have been legislating women’s rights.

The student also names two professors whose classes they’d like to take and with whom they’d like to do research, but we aren’t told which classes they’re interested in, or which topics they could cover together. You want to avoid “name-dropping” professors without context in your essay. If the student shared the names of specific classes or research topics and why they’re interested in them, that would’ve strengthened their essay.

Essay Example #9: Tufts

Prompt: Why Tufts? (100 words) 

When Deanne, Tufts’ admissions counselor, visited my school, she immediately caught my attention by emphasizing Tufts’ diverse yet unified campus. Tufts’ inclusive definition of diversity goes beyond merely recruiting students from a variety of backgrounds. Tufts seeks to integrate these categories of diversity and pushes its students to learn from one another. One such intersectional program that attracts me is CAFE (Conversation, Action, Faith, and Education). By joining CAFE, a community that promotes interfaith education, I will learn from my peers, become more understanding of other religious backgrounds, and apply this broader understanding to my academic work at Tufts.

It’s hard to write a “Why This College?” essay in 100 words. This essay does a good job sticking to one unique element of Tufts—its intersectionality. Since Tufts also cares about demonstrated interest, it’s great that the student also mentioned speaking with an admissions counselor. 

We unfortunately don’t learn very much about the student from this essay. Why do they care about diversity and interfaith programs? How does this relate to their academic and career goals? While the word count is super short, they could’ve cut these lines and jumped right into the specific resource they’re interested in: Tufts’ inclusive definition of diversity goes beyond merely recruiting students from a variety of backgrounds. Tufts seeks to integrate these categories of diversity and pushes its students to learn from one another.

Here’s an example of a stronger version of this essay:

When a Tufts admissions counselor visited my school, she immediately caught my attention by emphasizing Tufts’ diverse yet unified campus. As a Muslim hoping to go into International Relations, I want to attend a school that not only recruits diverse students, but pushes them to learn from one another. I hope to join intersectional programs such as CAFE (Conversation, Action, Faith, and Education). By joining this community that promotes interfaith education, I will gain the necessary perspective and compassion to become a human rights lawyer in countries with religious conflict, such as my homeland Azerbaijan.

Essay Example #10: Tufts

Prompt: Why Tufts? (100 words)

Someday I hope to conduct medical research in developing countries; Tufts attracts me because of its wide array of majors it offers and support for undergraduate research. To understand the human brain, I hope to study biology, neuroscience, and psychology. In addition to outstanding faculty in each of these areas, Tufts also organizes initiatives including the International Research Program. Through this program, I would work with other students and faculty members on an international project related to brain diseases. This opportunity will give me a taste of my future career and help me narrow the scope of my later studies.

This essay does a better job of sharing the student’s goals with us compared to the previous Tufts essay. We learn that the applicant is interested in medical research in developing countries on brain diseases, and that Tufts has a program to support international research.

The essay still mentions some resources that could apply to many schools, which is not an effective use of the tiny word count. For example, they say: “Tufts attracts me because of its wide array of majors it offers and support for undergraduate research” and they mention the “outstanding faculty” in the fields they plan to study.

They also don’t tell us their motivation behind studying brain diseases abroad, and it feels like there’s a significant story there. Giving some background would’ve further strengthened their essay.

Finally, they mention that they still need to narrow the scope of their studies; while it’s fine to be undecided on your career and majors, you don’t need to spend your precious word count saying that in your essay. They could’ve instead shared a couple potential avenues they’re considering.

Here’s what the student could’ve written instead:

Outcomes for schizophrenia patients are better in developing countries than in developed ones. I hope to research the reasons behind this and improve the treatment options in the US for the cousin I grew up with. In college, I want to study biology, neuroscience, and psychology. Tufts attracts me because of its unique interdisciplinary BS in Cognitive and Brain Science and its International Research Program. Through this program, I could do the research I’ve dreamt of doing with a faculty member and other students, preparing me for my future career as either a researcher or clinician.

Essay Example #11: Georgia Tech

Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words)

Climate change is a human rights issue.  

There the headline was, screaming on my phone screen. I think about those suffering from a lack of clean water. I think about those suffering from a lack of clean air. 

I often think back to that headline – it’s what drives my passion for environmental engineering. As an environmental engineer, I can mitigate air pollution and design water treatment systems that address the water injustices that people face. However, it’s not just about creating a technology that cleans water; it’s about changing people’s lives. New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech’s research on creating a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those in need of improved sanitation aligns perfectly with my interests.   

At Georgia Tech, through the student-led organization, Engineers for a Sustainable World and the InVenture Prize, I can translate the knowledge gained from my classes into a concrete vision. I can design and implement hands-on sustainability projects around Atlanta and invent a water sanitation system for the on-site acquisition of clean water. 

Georgia Tech can also provide me with ample research opportunities, such as the broad area of Healthy Communities in the School of Civil and Environmental Engineering. I can further pursue my interest in developing solutions to deliver clean water while welcoming new areas of inquiry. An area I would like to explore would be the controlling of dangerous matter in the air to reduce health hazards; reducing the impact of climate change is of utmost importance to me. 

Studying environmental engineering at Georgia Tech would well prepare me to develop solutions to climate-related issues. With the countless opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know there is nowhere else where I can receive a better environmental engineering education.

What the Essay Did Well l

This essay begins with an attention-grabbing statement that leaves the reader wondering how this will relate to the student’s interest in Georgia Tech. They then transition seamlessly into how climate change and human rights motivate their desire to become an environmental engineer.

The student mentions several resources specific to Georgia Tech that would help them achieve their goals, such as the research on the toilet turning waste into water, Engineers for a Sustainable World, InVenture Prize, and Healthy Communities research. It’s clear that they did their research and have reflected on their fit with the campus community.

They end the essay explicitly stating that Georgia Tech is the best place for them to grow, and the reader is certainly convinced of this by the end.

This essay is quite strong, so there’s not much that the student could’ve improved. That said, there is one sentence that is a bit awkwardly worded: New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech’s research on creating a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those in need of improved sanitation aligns perfectly with my interests.

Instead, the student could’ve written:

New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech aligns with this value of mine and is even developing a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those who need improved sanitation.

Essay Example #12: Georgia Tech

From my first Java project, a somewhat primitive graphing calculator, I realized that CS unlocks a different way of thinking. My brain races at speeds it seldom touches with other subjects. Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve and affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application. 

“Progress and Service,” Georgia Tech’s motto, tells me there’s no better place to explore my curiosity and deepen my CS skills while simultaneously helping make the world a better place, my ultimate goal for a college education. 

In the classroom, I look forward to GT’s threads program, where I can tailor the curriculum to suit my career choice after exposing myself to all technical aspects of CS.

I’ll apply my specialized learning with Tech’s fascinating research opportunities. Professor Pandarinth’s brain-machine interfacing software means a lot to me. My uncle passed away from a freak accident after extensive paralysis because potential treatments were unaffordable. Exploring this revolutionary brain decoding software wouldn’t just involve me in cutting-edge artificial intelligence technology research, I’d be personally driven to ensure its success and accessibility. 

I’m at my best building towards tangible results. I learned this on my robotics team using design skills to create a technically complex robot that tackles anything from shooting balls to hanging on a balance beam. I’m excited to expand my skills on the RoboJackets team, applying my career interests to build ferocious BattleBots and autonomous race robots that compete on the Indy Speedway, two events that sound ridiculously fun. 

Of course, I can’t skip hackathons. These competitions molded my interest in coding so I want to give back to Georgia Tech’s Hack-Community by planning HackGT and the Catalyst Mentorship program as a member of the Hexlabs team. 

The student’s passion for CS shines through this essay. They explain what they love about the subject (the problem-solving aspect) and they share that they hope to make a difference through CS, demonstrating alignment with Tech’s motto of  “progress and service”.

It’s clear that this student has done their research, mentioning specific academic programs, research, and clubs. We can see that they’d be greatly engaged with the campus community.

Finally, this essay is also down-to-earth. The student doesn’t try to use impressive vocabulary or formal language. In fact, they even describe some extracurriculars as “ridiculously fun.” While you shouldn’t get too informal in your essays, this student’s casual tone in this context makes them feel more approachable and more excited about the prospect of going to Georgia Tech.

This essay has a couple sentences that are confusing to read:

Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve and affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application.

This sentence could’ve been broken up and rewritten as:

Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve. For me, the field affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application.

This sentence also uses incorrect grammar—the comma should be replaced with a semicolon:

Exploring this revolutionary brain decoding software wouldn’t just involve me in cutting-edge artificial intelligence technology research, I’d be personally driven to ensure its success and accessibility. 

These details would make the essay more readable.

The organization of the essay could also be reworked. The student mentions Tech’s motto of “progress and service,” but doesn’t follow up until later with an example of how they’d use CS for the greater good. Using CS for social good isn’t ultimately the theme of their essay, so this section would’ve been better placed at the end of the paragraph about AI technology research, or at the very end of the essay. The essay actually ends abruptly, so placing the section at the end might’ve tied it up nicely, if the student could’ve placed more emphasis on how they plan to use CS to improve society.

Do you want feedback on your “Why This College” essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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What Grade Do I Deserve Descriptive

Grading remains one of the most pivotal components in the educational journey, bridging effort and recognition. It encapsulates many dimensions, from evaluating students’ comprehension and mastery of subjects to fostering a competitive spirit that drives excellence. Despite the ubiquity of grades in the academic landscape, the methodology and philosophy behind grading have often been subjects of robust debate among educators, students, and policymakers alike. These discussions hinge on the quest for fairness, objectivity, and the best practices to motivate students towards higher achievements.

This essay particularly underscores the importance of self-reflection in the question of what grade do you deserve and why, inviting a deep dive into academic achievements and the qualitative aspects of learning such as initiative, creativity, and perseverance. It calls students to articulate their contributions and learning outcomes, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility toward their educational journey.

In arguing for the grade I believe I deserve, this essay is not merely a personal narrative but a broader discourse on the value of hard work, the significance of constructive feedback, and the indispensable role of effective time management and study techniques in sculpting academic success. Through a detailed examination of my academic endeavors, particularly in online writing, this piece seeks to illuminate the criteria that delineate an “A” student—not just the retention of knowledge but the application of such knowledge in crafting well-reasoned arguments and engaging narratives.

Exploring Alternative Grading Methods

In addition to traditional letter grades, educators are increasingly considering alternative grading approaches. Let’s delve into some of these methods:

• Pass/Fail Grading:

Instead of assigning letter grades, students receive a simple “Pass” or “Fail” based on meeting minimum requirements. This system reduces stress associated with grade competition and encourages a focus on learning rather than performance.

• Competency-Based Assessment:

Competency-based grading assesses specific skills or knowledge areas. Students demonstrate mastery in each competency, allowing them to progress at their own pace. It emphasizes practical application and real-world skills.

• Narrative Assessment:

In this approach, instructors provide detailed written feedback rather than assigning grades. Students receive personalized comments on their strengths, areas for improvement, and overall progress. Narrative assessments foster deeper understanding and self-reflection.

• Rubrics and Standards-Based Grading:

Rubrics outline clear criteria for evaluating assignments. Students know exactly what is expected and how they will be assessed. Standards-based grading aligns with specific learning objectives, emphasizing growth and achievement.

• Gradeless Learning:

Some educators advocate for removing grades altogether. Instead, students receive descriptive feedback and engage in self-assessment. The focus shifts to intrinsic motivation and a love for learning.

Why I Deserve an A-Grade

Participation in all online lectures gives me confidence that I deserve to get an A grade. This is because the assessment is usually done based on what was taught in all lectures. Moreover, I am conscious that not all writing questions are based on the lectures. According to Yewchuk and Jobagy, although most instructors accord more weight to lecturer attendance, there are always writings that require students to apply the knowledge they gained in lectures. With this in mind, I also consider myself as having applied the knowledge gained in lectures to do online writing.

In any case, the writings were not very involving. Therefore, even if the application of writing skills had more weight, I would still score well. There is also a need to explore the possibility of not writing well even after attending all lectures. It is true that even after attending all lectures, a student may not be attentive to the details of the lecture and may not always benefit. On the contrary, my concentration levels are always above par. Therefore, I am confident that I deserve a grade of A. Although I attended all the lectures, my conviction would be mild if I did not follow all the instructions in all the papers.

My deserving grade A is also based on the fact that I am a person who pays attention to details. Each fine detail, however insignificant it may look, attracts much attention from my eye and intuition. Specifically, I followed all the writing instructions. Before writing, I read the instructions so carefully that I could not have missed or misunderstood what was required of the writing. Furthermore, besides paying strict attention to instructions, I also paid much attention to the writing process.

I made sure that I read each instruction at least twice to understand them fully. On this basis, I believe that I not only deserve a grade A but also to be awarded as the best student. Many authorities have wrestled with the issue of understanding writing instructions better and their contribution to performance.

According to Shore (1991), most students fail examinations because they do not pay close attention to details. In addition, he observes that since most instructors or professors know that most students attend all lectures, they are bound to manipulate instructions so that only a keen eye can grasp what is required. In commenting about the qualities of an “A” student, he asserts that such students are keen on details and instructions and can immediately notice laid ‘traps’ and consequently avoid them. Since I was aware of my work and study commitments, I exerted much energy to answer the questions.

Having been exceptional in balancing my studies and work, I am convinced I deserve an “A”. This is because it is always an uphill task for anybody to perform well in studies while working; such was my case. I am an accountant in my organization; thus, I am very busy. However, despite being busy, I wrote well on other occasions. On this basis, I should likely score the same way in the online writing class.

I would attribute my earlier performance to the fact that I was conscious of the huge responsibilities ahead of me: I was a full-time worker and a student. As a result, I adopted a very aggressive attitude punctuated by discipline and time management. There was no time to waste. Each minute was very valuable.

Since I had to excel in each work and study, I worked for more time. I replicated the same attitude when I was doing online writing. Since most of the other students do not work, it is a greater achievement for me to score better than them. This is in line with what Rendón (2000) writes that students with more workload are observed to perform better than those with less workload.

According to him, the former have a lot to cover and thus exert more energy in their studies and other commitments. Having balanced the two most deserving duties, I am convinced I deserve an “A” grade. It should also be noted that my assertion is based on the fact that I worked very closely with my peer review partner.

I also deserve a grade of “A” because of my teamwork spirit. According to Renzulli and Reis, students who do not work with others in solving academic problems do not always perform well. Since my teamwork was exceptional, I also expected an exceptional grade, A. To demonstrate my teamwork, I can testify that I worked very closely with my classmates, who ensured that works were peer-reviewed.

In this case, peer review meant, but was not limited to, that we compared notes and discussed where we needed to change or improve to write an excellent paper. On top of comparing our writings, we also sought opinions from other students. We invited positive criticisms and reviewed our work over and over again.

Undoubtedly, this led to an incredible refinement in the papers we presented. I also wish to quantify the time we spent together doing the refinement. We spent about 5 hours together or doing something related to our writing topics daily. If accumulated, this time could translate to an impossible time that deserves applause. This applause could be in terms of the best grade, A. This would also complement the feedback I received from the writing center.

My “A” grade is also based on the positive feedback the writing center gave me. I invested a lot of time researching and using the best writing skills to get positive feedback. I had to ensure subject-verb agreement in all my sentences and obey all the writing rules. In addition, I also made sure that I read and re-read my work before submitting it. I ensured that all the citations were done in the right format and that due reference was made to all I made in the writing.

Significantly, the fact that I checked my work with software for grammar checking makes me believe that it was the basis for the positive feedback from the writing center. For this same reason, it is only reasonable that I get the same or better feedback from my instructor after marking the paper. This is justified because since I have been writing well all along, it also means there is a high possibility that I wrote well and deserve a good grade. Many authorities agree that it will be difficult to excel in tests unless a student writes well.

According to Kaplan and Love, bright students could get poor marks simply because they do not have the writing skills required to organize and present convincingly. Writing is the cornerstone of good scholarship, and students who write well should be rewarded.

Having researched too extensively, getting an A grade is reasonable and necessary. I extensively revised the books, articles, journals, and other reading periods. The research did not just happen at the time of writing but at the commencement of the semester. This had a very great impact on my confidence levels. Precisely, I was very confident at the time of writing.

This confidence made me view the topic as an easy task. According to many scholars and educationists, students who research long before the test always perform better than those who do not. Specifically, Yewchuk and Jobagy (1991) attribute this performance to the confidence levels and the information gained during the research and literature review.

In my case, I explored a wide variety of literature and read the notes from lectures and all resources in the course outline. Interestingly, most of the things I read were the ones the instructor required in the writing. There were only a few aspects that required application of the knowledge that we had gained during the semester. Therefore, it means that I would get the best grade. My conviction is also based on the belief that I believe I meet what scholars define as qualities of an “A” student.

Study and Time Management Techniques

Balancing the demands of work and studies requires a disciplined approach to time management and effective study habits. Here’s how I navigated these challenges:

• Prioritization:

Start by prioritizing tasks based on urgency and importance. Distinguish between tasks that need immediate attention and those that can be scheduled for later. This helps focus on what truly matters and avoid being busy rather than productive.

• Effective Planning:

Use planners or digital calendars to map out your weeks and months in advance. Allocate specific time slots for work, study, revision, and relaxation. Being specific about what to do and when you will do it can significantly reduce procrastination.

• Set Specific Goals:

For each study session, set clear, achievable goals. Whether it’s completing a set number of pages of reading or writing a section of your essay, having specific objectives can boost your sense of accomplishment and keep you motivated.

• Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps:

Large assignments can feel overwhelming. Breaking them into smaller, manageable tasks makes starting and maintaining momentum easier.

• Eliminate Distractions:

Identify what distracts you in your study environment and take steps to minimize these interruptions. This might mean turning off your phone, using apps that block distracting websites, or finding a quiet place to study.

• Efficient Study Techniques:

Embrace study techniques that enhance learning, such as active reading, note-taking strategies, and self-testing. Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique, where you study in short, focused bursts followed by short breaks, can also enhance productivity.

• Regular Review:

Regularly review your notes and materials instead of cramming at the last minute. This helps reinforce learning and reduces pre-exam stress.

Remember, effective time management also includes time for rest and activities you enjoy. Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial for maintaining the energy and focus needed for work and studies.

I deserve an “A” because I am an “A” student. In describing the characteristics of such a student, Love (2001) cites various qualities such as discipline, concentration, self-motivation, comparing notes and possessing the right attitude. I am strongly content that I have these qualities. In addition, Cannister cites qualities such as good academic skills, understanding of concepts, perceptiveness and the potential to study. Others include a commitment to study, curiosity to learn, good presentation and communication skills, adequate preparation, time to revise, and the ability to retain what is taught for longer.

Again, I believe I possess most of these qualities. Perhaps the only limitation I may have is the curiosity to learn things not within the course requirements. Considering the amount of work I handle, it is only reasonable to read what is relevant to save time and cover more. Against this background, I would confidently request that the instructor award me an “A”.

I deserve a grade A because I have the qualities of an A student, such as the right attitude, positive feedback, attendance of all lectures, cooperating with classmates, revising, and paying attention to details. To support the qualities I believe would make me get an A, the essay explored some of the works by prominent writers in peer-reviewed articles. I was able to identify with most of the requirements.

In other words, I am sure that I deserve the best grade. Above all, I do not only study but also work in an office. Since I have always passed well in the previous writings, I am convinced I should get an A. The paper was written out of intensive research and dedication, making me a student deserving of an A.

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William Faulkner

‘terra fluxus’, underground railway system in london and paris.