essay social media weakens family relationship

Social Networking

How your social media habits are damaging your relationships, are your social media activities causing real-life problems.

Posted August 9, 2023 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

• Individuals are spending more time than ever on screens and electronic devices.
• How people engage in social media can negatively impact real-life relationships with themselves and others.
• It's important to take steps to manage one's social media engagement and care for important relationships.

We’ve all participated in or witnessed social disconnection in action… people gathered together, with gazes fixed on screens rather than interacting with one another. Screens and social media have become a part of everyday life. Social media , at its best, has provided us with many ways to connect, interact and expand our social networks exponentially. In 2022, on average, people spent 152 minutes a day on social networking … slightly higher than the previous year’s 147-minute average.

Clearly, social media is on the rise. Not just how much, but where, when, and how we engage in social media could be negatively impacting our real-life relationships. Our relationships matter. Our deep connections and close social and romantic relationships with others are key to our happiness and longevity.

What’s the problem?

Though social media has become a part of our regular lives, in terms of our awareness of and our ability to manage the impacts of social media on our relationships—our relationships with the people in our lives and with ourselves—we have some catching up to do.

“Social Media Use and Its Impact on Relationships and Emotions” (Christensen, Spencer Palmer), a 2018 Brigham Young University study , found that: “the more time an individual spent on social media, the more likely they were to experience a negative impact on their overall emotional well-being and a decreased quality in their relationships.” The study also found that social media use negatively impacted interpersonal relationships due to: “distraction, irritation, and decreased quality time with their significant other in offline settings” and that participants reported increased “frustration, depression , and social comparison” related to their engagement in social media.

Driving intimate partner disconnection

According to a 2019 Pew Research Center study , 51 percent of people in a committed relationship reported that their partner is: “often or sometimes distracted by their cellphone while they are trying to have a conversation with them, and 4 in 10 say they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their mobile device.”

Besides the disconnection resulting from screen distractions, partners can often feel threatened by real or imagined online third parties, including rekindled connections to former partners, habitual engagement with social media influencers, and habitual use of online pornography . These forms of engagement can lead to insecurities, an erosion of trust, and relationship breakdowns.

Feelings of low self-worth

Although it is not unheard of for people to share their struggles and hard times on their social media platforms, most people present an upbeat, curated—and sometimes highly filtered and photoshopped—that is to say, unrealistic—version of their lives to their online followers. “The Effects of Active Social Media Engagement with Peers on Body Image in Young Women” by Jacqueline Hogue and Jennifer S Mills, a 2019 York University body image study , concluded that comparisons “may lead to increased body concerns in young women.” When we compare ourselves to people with out-of-reach lifestyles, career success, beauty, or wealth, these comparisons can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and hopelessness.

It is important that we build awareness of how our social media habits impact our relationships—with ourselves and the people we care about—and that we take steps to manage and take care of our time, our energy, and our real-life relationships.

7 steps to creating healthier social media habits

If your online life is negatively impacting your relationships…

Listen to what the people in your life are saying to you about your social media habits. Observe their reactions to your decreased interactions.

Build awareness about your social media habits and engagement. Make an effort to track the amount of time you spend online for a week.

Create healthy boundaries around your online activities if you find you are spending too much time on social media. Scheduling brief times throughout the day to engage in social media and silencing notifications from social media apps could be a healthy first step in curbing over-engagement.

Put some distance between you and your devices daily. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, take a walk, or meet up with friends and leave your devices behind.

Prioritize your real-life relationships. Make an effort to stay mindful of how your actions and presence impact other people, and be engaged in person with friends, colleagues, and family members.

Unfollow unhealthy, unrealistic, attention -seeking social media influencers. Social media “models” and lifestyle influencers often present a false sense of who they are and set unrealistic goals and aspirations that can negatively impact your sense of self-worth or the self-worth of your partner.

Seek the help of a mental health professional if your social media engagement has led to feelings of low self-worth or depression or if your social media usage has become unmanageable.

Monica Vermani, C. Psych., is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of trauma, stress, mood and anxiety disorders, and the author of A Deeper Wellness .

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Families and Social Media Use: The Role of Parents’ Perceptions about Social Media Impact on Family Systems in the Relationship between Family Collective Efficacy and Open Communication

Communication through social media characterizes modern lifestyles and relationships, including family interactions. The present study aims at deepening the role that parents’ perceptions about social media effects on family systems can exert within their family functioning, specifically referring to the relationship between collective family efficacy and open communications within family systems with adolescents. A questionnaire to detect the openness of family communications, the collective family efficacy and the perceptions about the impacts of social media on family systems was administered to 227 Italian parents who had one or more teenage children, and who use Facebook and WhatsApp to communicate with them. From the results, these perceptions emerge as a mediator in the relationship between the collective family efficacy and the openness of communications, suggesting that it is not only the actual impact of social media on family systems that matters but also parents’ perceptions about it and how much they feel able to manage their and their children’s social media use without damaging their family relationships. Thus, the need to foster parents’ positive perceptions about social media’s potential impact on their family relationships emerges. A strategy could be the promotion of knowledge on how to functionally use social media.

1. Introduction

Families represent not only environments wherein their members live but also whole complex social systems [ 1 , 2 ]. Thus, according to the family systems theory perspective, family functioning refers to processes and interactions in which the members of the system are involved to meet their needs, make decisions, define goals, and establish rules for themselves and for the system as a whole. Levels of openness of communications and healthiness of interactions represent characterizing elements of family’s ability to function adequately, associated with positive outcomes at both individual and family levels [ 3 ]. With specific reference to systems including adolescents, mutual acceptance and open communications among family members can help them in managing stressors and negotiating adolescents’ individuation [ 4 ], as they allow children to talk with their parents about daily concerns, activities, issues, and in turn, parents being adequately supportive of them [ 5 , 6 ].

Moreover, social cognitive theory assigns a central role to perceived efficacy in managing different aspects of daily relationships, interactions, and tasks within the system [ 7 , 8 ]. Specifically, family collective efficacy is “members’ beliefs in the capabilities of their family to work together to promote each other’s development and well-being, maintain beneficial ties to extrafamilial systems, and to exhibit resilience to adversity” ([ 5 ], p. 424). Studies [ 5 , 9 ] showed that higher collective family efficacy associates with higher family satisfaction, open communication, effective parental monitoring, and lower aggressive management of conflicts and communication problems. Such an efficacy plays a key role in managing demands and issues related to parenthood [ 7 ], representing a protective factor helping parents to get positive outcomes for their family system as a whole.

With reference to family relationships, the most recent literature has deepened the understanding of the impact that social media can have on them with specific attention to particular family tasks, challenges and phases of family life. Social media use can specifically be a central issue for families facing adolescence evolutionary tasks [ 10 , 11 , 12 ], which also refer to adolescents’ negotiation of autonomy and independence within the family system and to the significance of peer relationships [ 13 ]. Indeed, given that nowadays, adolescents spend significant amounts of time using social media with a variety of goals, scholars often talk about Generation M[edia] when referring to modern adolescents [ 14 , 15 ]. This seems to be an increasing trend according to the latest data from the We Are Social report [ 16 ], which states that in Italy there are 43.31 million Internet users (10% more than in 2017); 34 million (57%) are active social media users (10% more than in 2017), 30 million (51%) do this through their mobile devices (7% more than in 2017); moreover, 53% of Italian new technology users believe that they offer more risks than opportunities, while 54% state they prefer to use them if it is possible [ 16 ].

Thus, it is evident that the information and communication technologies (ICTs) are profoundly changing the ways in which people behave and relate to each other [ 17 , 18 ] and creating conflicting perceptions about their impact. As they have become cultural practices embedded in everyday life relationships [ 3 , 10 , 19 , 20 , 21 , 22 , 23 , 24 , 25 , 26 , 27 ], their contribution to creating richer and more complex patterns of interactions [ 28 ], including to family life, cannot be ignored [ 29 ]; however, whether the effects of these new forms of interactions on the functioning of family systems are positive or negative is still unclear, even more when considering families with adolescents [ 30 ]. Thus, with Facebook and WhatsApp being the most used social media in Italy [ 16 ], also among relatives, the present study aims at deepening the role that parents’ perceptions about the effects of social media on their family system can exert within the functionality of their family, specifically referring to the relationship between collective family efficacy and open communications within family systems with adolescents.

2. Perceptions about Social Media Use within Families with Adolescents

According to Hertlein’s multitheoretical model [ 31 ], the ecological influences related to social media features (e.g., accessibility, acceptability, accommodation), the changes social media use brings with reference to family structure (e.g., redefinition of rules, roles, and boundaries), and the ones related to family processes (e.g., redefinition of intimacy, new ways of communicating, new rituals) are interconnected and interdependent. Thus, due to the spread of new ways of communicating and to the consequences they can bring with reference to the functionality and habits of the family (e.g., redefinition of roles and boundaries, new kinds of intimacy, communications, rituals, [ 29 , 31 ]), parents can have ambivalent perceptions about their impact on relationships and communications with their adolescent children. Consistently, studies about families, which include adolescents, brought ambivalent results too, ranging from higher social support [ 30 ] to lower family cohesion [ 31 ] and progressive isolation of family members within the same house [ 32 , 33 ].

Indeed, on the one hand, ICTs use can provide positive results in terms of family cohesion, adaptability, and open communications [ 3 ] and can have a positive impact on family relationships too [ 34 ], by allowing family members to keep in touch, make plans in real-time, ensure children’s safety as they allow communications in emergency situations [ 35 ], strengthen family ties, encourage parent–child interactions, and promote and facilitate discussions [ 36 ]. Moreover, ICTs and social media use could increasingly ensure what Castells [ 37 ] defined as autonomy in security conditions, as they help parents in communicating with their children at any time, checking their movements in physical and online spaces [ 35 , 38 , 39 , 40 ].

On the other hand, the connectedness allowed by mobile devices and social media needs to be negotiated in times, spaces, and occasions where it is allowed, and the chances to perpetually communicate need to be modulated [ 41 ]. A risk arising from the lack of modulation and negotiation about social media and mobile devices use, which could impact family relationships and dynamics, seems related to the phubbing phenomenon, i.e., ignoring someone in a social environment by paying attention to mobile devices instead (e.g., interrupting a meal while eating together to check the phone for messages or missed calls) [ 42 , 43 ]. Altogether, the arrangements needed to avoid these kinds of risks and modulating mobile devices use in times, spaces, and occasions could cause conflicts within families [ 35 , 39 , 41 , 44 , 45 , 46 ], as parents who are more worried about social media impacts can exert a greater control over their children’s use [ 47 , 48 , 49 ], making adolescents get the perception of being hyper-controlled by their parents, that in turn can increase the level of conflict and aggressive communications. Moreover, as social media represents environments wherein different social norms and rules can be established and followed by adolescents out of their parents’ control, this can make further risks arise if their use and its consequences is not adequately discussed among family members, as, therefore, adolescents’ decision-making processes can be affected by those norms (e.g., [ 50 ]).

3. Aim of the Study

It has been acknowledged that the perceived collective family efficacy refers to the perception about family members being able to handle daily social interactions, challenges, and communications within the system and helps in achieving positive family outcomes such as open communications [ 5 ]. Thus, as the widespread ITCs use within families represents a new challenge to be managed by parents through an active adaptation, which can bring changes in family communications [ 30 , 31 ] and habits, beliefs and norms [ 29 ], the following hypothesis is suggested:

H: Parents’ perception of the impact of social media use on their family system mediates the relationship between their perceived collective family efficacy and the perceived openness of communications within the family system.

Open communication has been chosen as a key outcome because it can be a particularly relevant issue in family systems which include adolescents [ 51 , 52 ].

4. Materials and Methods

4.1. participants and procedures.

Snowball sampling was used to recruit 227 Italian parents with one or more teenage child (aged between 13 and 19), who use Facebook and WhatsApp to communicate with them; having at least one teenage child and communicating with s/he through smartphones and ICT was the criterion to be a participant in the study. The researchers paid attention to privacy and ethics, and introduced the questionnaire with an explanation about confidentiality and anonymity issues, conforming with the International applicable law (EU Reg. 2016/679). At the end of this explanation, every participant had to express his/her informed consent; in case of a negative answer, they could not take part in the study. They received no compensation for participating in the study.

Seventy percent were female, 30% male; 25.1% were born between 1943 and 1960 (the so-called “Baby Boomers”, [ 53 ]), 68.3% between 1961 and 1981 (the so-called “Gen Xers”, [ 53 ]), 6.6% between 1982 and 1997 (the so-called “Millennials”, [ 53 ]); 11.5% were from Northern Italy, 8.4% from Central Italy and 77.5% from Southern Italy; only 2.6% were from Italian islands. Most of the participants (72.2%) were married or cohabiting, while 15.9% were separated or divorced, 8.8% unmarried, and 3.1% widower. About half the participants (48.9%) had a high school diploma, while 26% a Bachelor’s or Master’s degree and 7.9% a higher degree; 14.1% had a secondary school diploma.

4.2. Measures

The questionnaire included a section about socio-demographic data and the following measures.

4.2.1. Collective Family Efficacy

The collective family efficacy scale (α = 0.96, [ 8 ]) was used. It is compounded by 20 items on a 7-point Likert scale (1 = Not well at all; 7 = Very well), aimed at measuring the perceived operative capabilities of the family as a whole system, such as managing daily routines, achieving consensus in decision making and planning, coping together with adversities, promoting reciprocal commitment, providing emotional support when needed, enjoying the time together. Being interested in the holistic efficacy appraisal [ 54 , 55 ], the total score was used.

4.2.2. Family Open Communication

A pool of 8 items (α = 0.90, see Table 1 for the items) was used to detect participants’ perceptions about the openness of their family communications. Respondents were asked to rate their level of agreement with each item on a 5-point Likert scale (1 = Strongly disagree; 5 = Strongly agree).

Factor loadings for exploratory factor analyses (EFA) with principal axis factoring for the family open communication scale.

Note. n = 227.

4.2.3. Social Media Impact on Family Systems.

A pool of 9 items (α = 0.73, see Table 2 for the items), referring to both positive and negative impacts of social media on family systems, was used to assess participants’ perceptions about it. Respondents were asked to rate their agreement with each item on a 5-point Likert scale (1 = Strongly disagree; 5 = Strongly agree). As positive and negative impacts of social media use on family systems can be meant as two sides of the same coin, the total score was used.

Factor loadings for EFA with principal axis factoring and promax rotation for the social media impact on the family system scale.

Note. n = 227 * item score is reversed. Only factor loading > 0.30 are shown.

4.3. Data Analysis

4.3.1. preliminary analyses.

As they had not been validated yet, exploratory factor analyses (EFA) with principal axis factoring and promax rotation were led to extract the factors of the family open communication and of the social media impact on family system scales. For both scales, sphericity was checked using Bartlett’s test and adequacy of sampling using the Keiser Meyer Olkin (KMO) measure. The emerged factor structures were further tested through confirmatory factor analyses (CFA) run with structural equation modeling (SEM). Specifically, for the social media impact on family system scale a two-factor structure, as suggested by the EFA, and a hierarchical structure with the two factors loading on a higher-order latent dimension were tested to determine which one better fitted the data, consistently with the theoretical model about positive and negative impacts of social media use on family system as two sides of the same coin.

For the family collective efficacy, the factor structure that emerged from a previous study [ 8 ] was tested through CFA run with SEM.

To evaluate the model fit for all the CFA, different indices were observed [ 56 ]: The Chi-square test of model fit, the comparative fit index (CFI), the standardized root mean square residual (SRMR). For the CFI, values equal to or greater than 0.90 e 0.95 reflect good or excellent fit indices, respectively; for the SRMR, values equal to or smaller than 0.06 e 0.08 reflect good or reasonable fit indices, respectively [ 57 ]. Moreover, when it came to testing which model better fitted the data for the social media impact on the family system scale, the Akaike information criterion (AIC) and the Bayesian information criterion (BIC) were also used; for both indices, the lower the value, the better the fit.

4.3.2. Hypothesis Testing

The mediation hypothesis was tested through SEM. Collective family efficacy was the independent variable, openness of family communications was the dependent one; the perception about social media impact on family systems was the mediator; participants’ age and sex were modeled as covariates on all the variables in the model. A dummy variable was created for participants’ sex before entering it in the model (0 = male / 1 = female).

Before testing the hypothesis, the presence of outliers and/or influential cases was checked using the leverage value and Cook’s D to test the absence of significant values in the data affecting the analyses [ 58 ]. Multicollinearity was tested through condition and tolerance indexes [ 59 ]. Common variance was controlled through Harman’s single-factor test [ 60 ].

Given the interest in higher-order constructs, a heterogeneous parceling was adopted [ 61 ], as it reproduces smaller but more reliable coefficients than the homogeneous one [ 62 ] and allows for creating parcels without generating a flawed measurement model because theoretically meaningful categories were included in the SEM.

To evaluate the model fit, the following indices of fit were observed [ 56 ]: The Chi-square test of model fit, the CFI, the SRMR.

Bootstrap estimation was used to test the significance of the results [ 63 , 64 ] with 10,000 samples, and the bias-corrected 95% CI was computed by determining the effects at the 2.5th and 97.5th percentiles; the indirect effects are significant when there is no 0 in the CI.

For the family open communication scale and for the social media impact on family system scale, sphericity (family open communication scale: Chi-square (28) = 974.765, p < 0.001; social media impact on family system scale: Chi-square (36) = 756.527, p < 0.001) and adequacy of sampling (0.893 for the family open communication scale, 0.747 for the perceptions about social media impact on family system scale) reported good values. No item was deleted from the original pools due to too low loadings nor too high loadings on more than one factor; all the items in the final versions of the scales had loadings above 0.3 in only one factor (see Table 1 and Table 2 ).

The CFA confirmed an adequate model fit for the family open communication scale, Chi-square (19) = 105.100, p < 0.001, CFI = 0.91, SRMR = 0.05, and for the family collective efficacy scale, Chi-square (169) = 789.980, p < 0.001, CFI = 0.94, SRMR = 0.02. For the social media impact on family system scale, the hierarchical model, Chi-square (22) = 98.878, p < 0.001, CFI = 0.90, SRMR = 0.06, AIC = 5714.096, BIC = 5816.844, better fitted the data than the two-factor model, Chi-square (24) = 98.878, p < 0.001, CFI = 0.89, SRMR = 0.07, AIC = 5718.096, BIC = 5827.694, confirming positive and negative impacts of social media use as two sides of the same coin.

The descriptive statistics and the correlations for all the measures are in Table 3 .

Descriptive statistics and correlations.

Note. n = 227. *** p < 0.001 (2-tailed); * p < 0.05 (2-tailed).

Hypotheses Testing

Since the leverage value was always lower than 0.09 and Cook’s D lowest and highest values were 0 and 0.36, there were no significant values in the data affecting the analyses; as the variables in the model had Tolerance indexes between 0.88 and 0.98, multicollinearity among them was not a problem [ 59 ].

The hypothesized mediation model (see Figure 1 ) showed good fit indices, Chi-square (33) = 50.280, p < 0.027, CFI = 0.99, SRMR = 0.02.

Mediation model. Note. n = 227. *** p < 0.001. Unstandardized coefficients ( B ) are shown.

Collective family efficacy emerged as a significant predictor of the openness of family communications, B = 0.585, S.E. = 0.07, p < 0.001, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.410, 0.709], and of the perceptions about social media impact on family systems, B = 0.204, S.E. = 0.064, p = 0.001, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.067, 0.321]; the latter was a significant predictor of the openness of family communications too, B = 0.242, S.E. = 0.056, p < 0.001, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.126, 0.342]. The indirect effect of collective family efficacy on openness of family communications via the perceptions about social media impact on family systems was small yet significant, B = 0.049, S.E. = 0.019, p = 0.01, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.02, 0.098], supporting the hypothesis of partial mediation. The unstandardized total effect was 0.634, S.E. = 0.066, p < 0.001, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.459, 0.747].

Participants’ sex emerged as a significant predictor only for the perceptions about social media impact on family systems, B = -0.132, S.E. = 0.105, p = 0.008, bias-corrected 95% CI [−0.433, −0.022]; participants’ age was significant only for the collective family efficacy, B = 0.081, S.E. = 0.072, p = 0.05, bias-corrected 95% CI [0.004, 0.279].

6. Discussion

The present study deepens the understanding of how social media can produce changes within family systems, taking into consideration the role that parents’ perceptions about the impact of social media on family systems, whether positive or negative, can exert in the relationship between their perceived collective family efficacy and an open communication among family members; specifically, the leading hypothesis referred to the mediator role of these perceptions, whether positive or negative, in the above-mentioned relationship. The results confirm the hypothesis, showing that parents’ perceptions represent a partial mediator of the relationship between their perceptions about collective family efficacy and openness of communications; nevertheless, the indirect effect of collective family efficacy on openness of family communications via parents’ perceptions about the impact of social media on family systems was small, showing that all the direct effects in the model were still bigger.

It has already been widely acknowledged that social media and ICTs make human social interactions and relationships more complex; however, scientific results still showed conflicting results about whether such complexity can have a positive, enriching, role or rather than a negative, detrimental, one with reference to family interactions, even more when the family system includes adolescent children [ 36 ]—due to the evolutionary tasks they have to face up to, which can impact on family relationships and interactions temporarily or permanently [ 10 , 11 , 12 , 13 ]. These results provide further hints about social media role within family relationships and functioning.

Indeed, while it is well established that family collective efficacy can have a boosting role with reference to healthy interactions and open communications within the family system [ 5 , 10 ], what emerged here suggests that it is not only the real impact of social media on family systems [ 36 ] that matters but also how family members perceive it and how much they feel confident about their family managing daily challenges to achieve positive relationships, healthy interactions, and open communications. Indeed, the results show that that being confident in one’s family capabilities to handle daily tasks, stress, and challenges associates with a more positive perception about the impact social media can have on family system and the relationships within it, as feeling able to manage family daily tasks and challenges could foster the feeling about being able to manage the adaptation to the increasing social media use among family members too. This could make family members perceive, at last, these new technologies as opportunities for increased family cohesion, adaptability, interactions, planning, and open communications [ 3 , 34 , 36 ], rather than as threats to positive family functioning and relationships. In addition to family collective efficacy, also such positive perception can further promote open communications among family members, maybe because if social media are perceived as opportunities and useful tools they can offer further ways to maintain and improve relationships among family members (e.g., to keep in touch, make plans in real-time, promote and facilitate discussions, and encourage parent–child interactions, [ 35 , 36 ]). When parents are aware of their family’s ability to manage social media-related changes in family functioning and habits (e.g., redefinition of roles and boundaries, new kinds of intimacy, communications, rituals, [ 29 , 31 ]), this can foster their perception about potentialities and new opportunities coming from social media use to keep in touch with their children, most of all when they are adolescents and are facing up their individualization process: if parents are able not to make their children feel they are invading their privacy or being oppressive and hyper-controlling, and to discuss with them how social media should be used to reduce the risks, social media can at last strengthen family ties, promote and facilitate discussions, and foster more secure conditions for adolescents to obtain greater autonomy from their parents and for parents to let them face up to these situations [ 35 , 36 , 38 , 39 ]. Indeed, when used in a responsible and aware way, social media can represent a resource and an educational added value within family relationships, helping parents to exploit a new educational and participative space that could strengthen the relationships with their children. This seems also consistent with previous results about how social media use can enhance the opportunities for a more open dialogue between parents and children, allowing the latter to get closer to the language and lifestyles of the first ones and to share with them important, sensitive and/or educational discussion topics functional to their growth [ 36 ]. Thus, social media may foster open communications among family members and a supportive family environment wherein adolescents can grow up and face up to their evolutionary tasks and subsequent stressful events, getting positive outcomes [ 36 ].

7. Conclusions

The study shows the relevance that parents’ positive perceptions about the impact of social media on social interactions and relationships within their family system can have in fostering a good family functioning and open communications among family members. Moreover, with reference to the role that collective family efficacy exerts, it also suggests that relying on family abilities to manage daily life tasks and face daily challenges could represent a strategy to promote the acknowledgment that challenges related to social media uses, their consequences, and the potential subsequent risks could be managed with adequate information and negotiation of the changes they bring in terms of family communications, habits, interactions, and rituals among parents. Taking into consideration the results from this study, an emergent issue seems related to the need to promote a wider acknowledgment that social media can be positively and functionally used among modern parents [ 36 ], showing them different ways in which social media can represent educational and participative spaces aimed at promoting a wider and more open communication between them and their children and a critical and responsible awareness for their children at the same time, fostering, at last, their positive perceptions about social media impact on family systems. Indeed, social media accessibility, acceptability, and accommodation require the redefinition of rules and roles, producing new processes and dynamics within family systems [ 31 ] parents have to deal with if they want to get a positive perception about their use: if adequately managed, these processes can allow the creation of further spaces wherein the relational dynamics between parents and adolescent children can happen and be successfully managed. Consistently, the aspects that emerged from this study invite to set up further studies aimed at deepening the meaning that social media tools can assume in the construction of transition spaces, allowing the expression and mediation of the divergences and conflicts that can show up in families with adolescent children.

It is important to also acknowledge some limitations of this study.

First, it takes into consideration only the parents’ perspective, but a major comprehension of family relationships should take into consideration the children’s perspective also, or even a dyadic one. Moreover, the findings are based on self-reported data, which can become distorted due to problems related to memory bias and response fatigue.

Lastly, another issue refers to the cross-sectional design of the study; thus, the relationships described should be considered carefully, and no causal inference is possible.

It would also be useful to extend the analyses to samples from other countries, to verify whether and how the cultural and community [ 65 , 66 , 67 , 68 ] dimensions modify the perceptions about social media impact within family systems and their effect on family communications.

Author Contributions

F.P. conceptualization, methodology, writing, review and editing; F.G. methodology and writing, I.D.N. writing and review. All authors read and approved the final manuscript.

This research received no external funding.

Conflicts of Interest

The authors declare no conflict of interest.

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12 ways social media affects relationships, from research & experts.

Romanticizing other people's relationships is not a new concept (thanks, rom-coms). Unlike a movie script, though, social media shows real couples living real lives.

But can looking at these seemingly perfect couples online interfere with our own romantic relationships? Here, how social media can affect your relationships and more.

How social media can affect relationships

Social media, if used sparingly, is not necessarily bad for relationships.

Research has shown social media use can both positively and negatively affect relationships , depending on how it's used.

For example, social media can contribute to unhealthy comparison and unrealistic expectations for what relationships are supposed to be like, and couples may spend more time curating an "image" of who they are rather than focusing on the relationship itself. 

Social media use has also been linked to poor body image and depression, which can negatively affect relationships.

Negative effects on relationships

Social media can create unrealistic expectations.

Although there are some useful resources shared via social media, "what you will mostly see are curated and filtered posts that only highlight unrealistic images of what a relationship is," says sex and behavioral therapist Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT .

Attempting to measure up can distract you and your partner from the relationship.

Inevitably, real life won't look like the endless highlight reels we see on social media, which can lead to disappointment in either yourself, your partner, or both.

"You may begin to feel jealous of how much someone posts about their partner and feel resentment toward your partner for not doing the same," Ajjan says. "The lifestyles you are scrolling through may change how satisfied you are in your relationship because they seem to be better than what you have."

It can lead to jealousy

Some research has linked social media use with increased jealousy 1 and relationship dissatisfaction in college students.

If you are prone to jealousy because of an insecure attachment style , research says you may be more likely to get stuck in a cycle of endless scrolling to keep an eye on your partner's activities .

People may get upset seeing their partner liking or commenting on other people's posts, stoking concerns that their partner is interested in other people (or worse, is already cheating).

The use of Facebook, in particular, has been shown to increase feelings of suspicion and jealousy in romantic relationships among college students.

"This effect may be the result of a feedback loop, whereby using Facebook exposes people to often ambiguous information about their partner that they may not otherwise have access to," one study writes.

For example, cookies and Facebook algorithms can cause a partner's "hidden" interests to pop up on their feed.

The desire to find more information about them can perpetuate further social media use and feelings of mistrust.

(Notably, many of these studies have been conducted on college students, so it’s possible that there would be differences among older couples.)

Excessive social media use is linked to couples fighting more

A 2013 study found that, among couples who had been together for less than three years, spending more time on Facebook was linked with more "Facebook-related conflict" 2 and more negative relationship outcomes.

One study found that those who are dating people who overshare on social media 3 tend to have lower relationship satisfaction (though positive posts about the relationship itself every now and then seemed to mediate that effect).

Social media might make daily life seem less interesting

The drool-worthy image of a couple on vacation can trigger feelings of envy, which can keep you from appreciating where you are in the present moment. 

"Social media tends to ignore the gritty and mundane parts of a couple's lives," says Ken Page, LCSW , psychotherapist and host of The Deeper Dating Podcast .

Struggles, chores, compromise, and intimacy in the midst of challenges—these small mini triumphs are valuable, he says.

Just remember: A vacation can make you feel happy, but it's the everyday moments that lead to ultimate satisfaction .

When relationships end, it is so often those tiny, mundane moments that evoke the deepest nostalgia, Page adds. 

It can distract you from spending quality time with your partner

Though internet addiction 4 and Facebook addiction 5 are not considered mental health disorders by the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), researchers recognize both as dependence issues, which can interfere with quality of life.

The more we become hooked on the dopamine rush of social media, Page says, the less engaged or excited we will feel for the quieter, simpler moments of life.

"But those are often the moments when our loved one reveals something personal and intimate," he explains.

Next time you and your partner are together and both focused on your phones, bring awareness to that.

"Practice valuing real-time connection over internet connection," he says. This can help increase emotional intimacy. 

It can affect our mental health

Even though social media is meant to promote connection, multiple studies have linked social media use with loneliness 6 , mood disorders, and poor self-esteem 7 .

People with preexisting mental health issues may also be more susceptible to social comparisons, due to a negative cognitive bias 8 , one study found.

On the flip side, lowering social media use has been shown to reduce loneliness and depression symptoms .

Though these issues are more individualistic than relational, they can bleed into romantic relationships.

When a partner is suffering from mental health issues , they may be closed off to intimacy or become codependent .

It can lead to body image issues

The filtered and edited images you see all over social media can cause insecurities about your own body to surface, Ajjan says.

Several studies have linked social media use and body image issues 9 .

A person's body image issues can significantly affect their relationships.

One Journal of the International Society for Sexual Medicine study shows that heterosexual women with body image issues 10 have a harder time becoming sexually aroused. 

Another study found the way wives perceive their own sexual attractiveness 11 , based on negative body image, directly affects the marital quality of both the wife and the husband.  

In other words, these insecurities triggered by social media can interfere with emotional and physical intimacy and the overall quality of a relationship. 

It can make us more narcissistic

Excessive social media use is linked to narcissistic traits 12 in some cases.

Research confirms that addictive social media use reflects a need to feed the ego and an attempt to improve self-esteem, both of which are narcissistic traits.

And different types of social media play into different aspects of narcissism.

For example, people who frequently tweet or post selfies may be displaying grandiosity, one of the common traits of narcissism .

Since you can be narcissistic without having a personality disorder , it's possible to develop these traits over time—and at least one small study has found excess social media use may be a trigger .  

And of course, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not healthy and can lead to trauma later on.

Positive effects on relationships

Social media helps single people meet each other.

In the digital age we live in, it's not uncommon for people to meet online or through dating apps—in fact, it may be more common.

A 2017 survey found 39% of heterosexual couples reported meeting their partner online, compared to just 22% in 2009.

A later study analyzing the results found that " Internet meeting is displacing the roles that family and friends once played in bringing couples together."

According to one survey , online dating can be especially helpful for the LGBTQ+ community .

Of the adults who took the survey, 28% say they met their current partner online, compared with 11% of partnered straight adults.

It can keep you connected to your partner

Whether it's sending a funny meme over Instagram or taking a quick Snapchat, social media is an easy way for couples to interact throughout the day in a fun, low-pressure manner.

This is particularly helpful for couples who don't live together and people in long-distance relationships . According to a survey published in the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking journal, young adults in long-distance romantic relationships 13 are better able to maintain them if they're using social networking sites.

People who have their partner in their profile photo or have their relationship status public on Facebook also tend to be happier with their relationship 14 , for what that's worth.

You can learn about relationships from experts

"There are plenty of accounts that offer up good information to help develop and maintain a healthy connection," Ajjan says. "There is a lot of good information on social media from relationship bloggers, psychotherapists, and many others that highlight how to improve your relationship."

As long as it's coming from a place of growth and not comparison, this type of social media can motivate you to work on parts of the relationship that have been neglected, she explains.  

It's like a time capsule of memories

Social media platforms have practically replaced printed photograph albums as a place to store and share our memories.

In this sense, Page says social media can be used to honor the activities you do and the things you create together. 

Unlike a physical photo album, social media has the added component of followers.

"In this way, social media can be an institutionalized way to express love publicly and invite community support," he says, "both of which enhance a couple's ability to flourish." 

Tips to manage social media use

• Turn off your notifications. One study 15 found that smartphone notifications can cause a decline in task performance and negatively influence cognitive function and concentration. Turn off your notifications to avoid any distractions and focus more on the present.
• Set aside a time to scroll. Whether that be every hour or every few hours, designate 15-20 minutes to getting on social media, answering texts, or taking calls to avoid the constant urge to get on your phone and scroll and focus on quality time with your partner.
• Try a social media detox. Research shows that intentionally refraining from getting on social media can prevent harmful effects and reduce the risk of compulsive social media behavior in individuals. Designate a period of days, weeks, or even months to avoid any social media use.
• Be transparent and communicate. If you are struggling with your body-image or find yourself feeling jealous or insecure, talk with your partner and explain how you are feeling. It may be time to avoid getting on social media altogether and focus on quality time with your significant other.

The takeaway

Scrolling through social media all day is, unfortunately, not a hard habit to pick up.

While these platforms can offer helpful resources, they can also lead to jealousy, mental health issues, and unrealistic expectations in relationships.

On top of that, the act of being on your phone constantly can distract from intimacy with a partner. 

"Social media is not all bad," Ajjan says, "but if you find yourself comparing your relationship to what you are seeing online, it may be helpful to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad and focus more on accounts that make you feel empowered in your relationship."

• https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-27972-002
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23745615/
• https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0212186
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719452/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4183915/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7268264/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6221086/#acps12953-bib-0010
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28940179/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6861923/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5005305/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2864925/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27072491/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25751046/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30212249/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912993/

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How technology and social media is undermining family relationships

In homes where families are always on tech, children can feel lonely, isolated – and angry.

We need to interact with other people to develop into healthy human beings. Overuse of these devices in the home interferes with this crucial early learning. Photograph: iStockphoto

Nine- and 10-year-olds throwing “flash” tantrums worthy of a toddler; a 13-year-old on the school bus receiving “dick pics” on her phone; little children feeling “lonely” in families where everyone is “always on” tech.

This is not life in some dystopian society of the future – it’s happening in families across the country.

Eithne Ní Dhraighneáin's therapy room in west Cork is full of baskets and shelves containing a multitude of traditional toys: baby dolls, doll's houses, play figures, dress-up clothes, Dinkys and even a punchbag.

Ní Dhraighneáin, a specialist child-centred play therapist based in Clonakilty, is familiar with the issues faced by families grappling with the unprecedented consequences of tech.

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“Toys are their words,” says Ní Dhraighneáin of the children, aged from three to 16, who come to her for help.

Some of these children may express feelings of loneliness or of not belonging in a family where use of tech is high, and parents and older siblings are too preoccupied by their screens to pay attention to them.

Where a parent is not engaging with the child because he or she is on their phone a lot, or when a device is routinely given to a young child to distract or to reward, parent and child are missing out on an important opportunity for connection, she believes.

“I have significant concerns about the impact of the lack of boundaries and limits in relation to the use of tech on what we would have viewed as normal communication within the family,” she observes.

Other children, she reports, can feel terrified of the world around them as a result of exposure to violent – and often very age-inappropriate – computer games.

Violent play

Over the past 12 years, warns Ní Dhraighneáin, she has seen a rise in primary school-aged children who engage in aggressive and even violent play, killing and decapitating play-figures, but are fearful of the world around them.

Young children are not yet fully grounded in the world, she explains.

“The fantasy violence in online games, for example, can become their reality. This blurring of fantasy and reality may result in children feeling ‘very afraid of the world they live in’ as a result of over-exposure to such games. Children aged 10 are playing games created for 18-year-olds. Often the games are bought for them by an adult who may not realise the impact on them, or they play them in other people’s houses.”

My fear is that the small subtleties of normal human interaction with a child don't happen

New research shows children are spending considerable amounts of time on tech devices – a study published by Center Parcs Ireland in April revealed that three out of four children in Ireland aged 16 or under have at least one technological device.

The study revealed that children spend an average of three hours daily on these devices, and that 83 per cent of parents surveyed found the use of technology and social media in the home to be a challenge.

Dún Laoghaire-based play therapist Aran Byrne is concerned about the impact on the emotional and social skills of small children in families where high usage of mobile devices and exposure to tech games is the norm.

“Devices are used to pacify small children of three or four years of age,” he observes. “Where once a toddler would have learned to manage difficult emotions through interacting with a parent who would help them regulate their feelings, now they’re being handed a tech device. The interaction with the parent is not happening,” he warns.

Yet, crucially, young children need the parent to teach them to manage their emotions, but if parents themselves are often “on” devices (research published by Deloitte last year showed Irish people check their devices an average of 57 times a day, while 16 per cent checked 100 times daily – this guidance is not always available. “My fear is that the small subtleties of normal human interaction with a child don’t happen,” says Byrne.

Eye contact

Each time a parent distracts an upset child with a device instead of making eye contact, talking to, soothing and picking up the child, he believes, a crucial teaching opportunity can be lost.

This can happen on a constant basis as most parents have devices with them everywhere – home, car, park. “The ‘distraction’ is happening very frequently with a lot of families,” observes Byrne, adding that he is increasingly dealing with children who are “more snappy and irritable and less able to manage their emotions”.

He’s also seeing more and more children of nine and even 10 years of age throwing tantrums. “They are quicker to lose their cool and get angry. They will disengage, or flash to anger when their ‘wants’ are not met. They are less able to manage their emotional states than they would be through learning how to interact and negotiate from parents or other care-givers.”

Byrne believes this phenomenon is linked to overexposure to tech and particularly to online games and apps which are designed to give the brain frequent neurological “hits” or “bursts” of satisfaction – and with which children as young as four are now engaging.

According to the April research, 57 per cent of parents surveyed were unhappy with the amount of time their children currently spent using technology, with one in four revealing that an addiction to social media, online games and YouTube was their biggest concern for their children. But it’s not always easy to come between children and tech either. In 40 per cent of cases, researchers found attempts by parents to stop children using technology resulted in an argument. In fact, only 29 per cent of parents surveyed frequently stopped their children from using technology.

Children enjoy the gratification “hits” offered by virtual games – which don’t happen like this in the real world, so when children are interacting with other people, irritability can surface, Byrne explains.

“The real world is less ‘manageable’ and the level of control is less, compared to what they get in the games, so you see these flashes of anger or the need to control and have everything set out the way they want it to be.”

Long-term impact

While Byrne is careful to emphasise that we don’t know for sure what the long-term impact might be on children who use devices regularly from an early age, there does appear to be cause for concern.

“Children’s ability to manage expectations and disappointment in relationships seems to have disimproved, because these games are devised in such a way that the interaction is very satisfying. However, human interaction takes more work, concentration and negotiation, which you don’t have to do in a game.”

Neuroscience has shown, he says, that we need to interact with other people to develop into healthy human beings. “My concern would be that overuse of these devices in the home interferes with this crucial early learning.”

Unlimited use of tech also seems to disrupt the flow of normal family life by interrupting normal parent-child interactions, according to Ní Dhraighneáin.

Allowing access to technology without setting expectations around its use can result in stresses to the child-parent relationship, she warns, adding that where usage is high, there can also be less awareness of what is going on in children’s lives.

“The emotional connection within the family is not as strong as it could be. The quality of the relationship and interaction is impacted on by the presence of the devices. In the family car, for example, you might have three children in the back seat with their own devices so there’s little to none of the traditional interaction or turn-taking,” she says, adding that ruptures in the relationship between child and parent can occur.

“If your child is allowed on the phone regularly this can result in a lack of opportunity to talk and connect as members of the family. Family relationships are being diluted by the presence of this third party,” says Ní Dhraighneáin, who urges parents to provide an environment that allows their children to develop physically, intellectually, socially and emotionally, through play and by reading books, making eye contact and learning how to understand non-verbal cues.

“Empathy, for example, needs to be modelled and taught,” she explains. “It allows children to see another person’s point of view/perspective and is the biggest indicator of a child with a healthy social and emotional development.”

“Some kids are more vulnerable than others and tech exploits that.” Photograph: iStockphoto

TEENAGER TRAPPED IN A SOCIAL MEDIA LOOP

Shortly after starting first year in her local secondary school, Alice’s 13-year-old daughter began to complain about getting stabbing pains in her stomach. The young girl, who had only received her first phone towards the end of sixth class, seemed to need to check her phone constantly. “She couldn’t put it down,” recalls Alice. “I hadn’t seen that with her older sister.”

Suspecting the anxiety had something to do with the phone, Alice brought her daughter to a play therapist. Several sessions later, the therapist was able to tell Alice that every morning as soon as her daughter boarded the school bus and opened her phone she was inundated with messages and graphic sexual images.

Alice discovered that, like many of the other first-year students, her daughter was on a number of social media apps including the controversial anonymous messaging Sarahah app, which was removed from the Apple and Google stores earlier this year amid claims that it had been facilitating bullying. The company’s chief executive denied the claims and said the app wasn’t meant for use by younger teens.

“The girls were uploading images of themselves and people were anonymously commenting on them,” recalls Alice. “She was getting on the bus to school and being inundated with all sorts of messages as well as getting multiple ‘dick pics’.”

She didn’t know how to deal with it – let alone tell her parents. “When I heard this, I was blown away. I am still trying to cope with the fact that she literally didn’t know how to get out of this social media app – not technically, but in terms of peer pressure – and that she never spoke about this to us.”

“Some kids are more vulnerable than others and tech exploits that. It plays to all the biggest social factors of young adolescence – wanting to be part of the gang and not wanting to miss out on things.”

Much of what tweens and teenagers receive on social media is “hidden” from parents, believes Alice, whose daughter has since deleted several social media apps from her phone.

“The communication, and the images, are so fast, and are gone so quickly. I couldn’t monitor it all. The pictures and messages they get can be destructive. The nature of the communications in tech has made it very difficult for children to tell their parents about it.

“I was not being told because she didn’t know how to handle it. I only got to know because of the tummy pains,” says Alice.

Her daughter, she says, could receive “something soul-destroying in the split second that I turned around to switch on the kettle. The damage is done and I don’t even see it happening. I was completely missing the damage being done to her, and that is where tech really becomes dangerous.

“We were out for a meal recently. A family of six was sitting at another table – two parents and four children aged from around about four to about 15. Every member of the family was on a screen. There was no talking. They ordered the food and went back to their screens. When the food came they put the screens down beside their plates and ate while watching the screens. This is becoming the norm. The social implications are massive.

“Tech is really making things hard for you as a parent, you can never be sure what role it’s playing in your family. And even if you do everything you can, you still can’t be sure you’re keeping them safe.”

Tips from play therapist Eithne Ní Dhraighneáin – Wait until at least sixth class to give children their own phone. – Consider what social media services your child can use. – Ban devices from all family meals. – Create an expectation that all devices are routinely turned off up to two hours before bedtime. – Consider unplugging the wireless router at night. – Charge all devices in one location, preferably downstairs. – No devices in bedrooms including the parental bedroom. – Read to your child. – Provide play alternatives for children. – Set a time limit on weekend screen time. – When it comes to setting limits around the use of tech, practise what you preach.

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Social Media: Both Strengthening and Weakening Family Bonds

• Human sciences
• Private life

How Are Family Relationships Affected by Social Media Use?

Examining the use of social media within families first brings into question the nature of the relationships that exist and are created between individuals within families. What are the effects of such socio-technological networks on pre-existing intra-familial social relationships?

On this topic, sociologist François de Singly observed a weakening of “ family communism .” According to him, digital technology, and in particular social media, gives each member within a family group the opportunity to establish their individuality. The family has become a place for individual personalities, which have acquired the right to their autonomy, to develop [ Digital Society Forum , 2016]. [2]

Of all ICT, the Internet and social media are in particular increasingly present in families and have a significant impact on their internal dynamics. Various studies have examined how individual used of social media can distance members of a family: “ The combination of both the individualization of tools and their multifunctionality results in a paradox: Within the home, the personal lives of different members of the family become very visible, but in an opaque way. There is a risk of upsetting the balance between the development of personal privacy and the development of family privacy”  [ Digital Society Forum , 2013].

However, studies also demonstrate how these tools can, conversely, bring certain members of the same family closer together and strengthen their bonds. This is what Laurence Le Douarin and Vincent Caradec observed for elderly people and their grandchildren [ Le Douarin, Caradec , 2009]. In these specific situations, social media can reduce the distance between people: “ Far from confirming the belief that the digital divide and the generational gap go hand in hand, the article seeks to show that ICT is a valuable resource for maintaining intergenerational links. ”

I thought that this geographical distance would weaken our relationships, but thanks to social media they have become stronger.

Christian Licoppe argued that: “ The more we see each other, the more we communicate. ” [ Licoppe , 2002]. Licoppe argues that technology can strengthen relationships in two different ways: On the one hand, it makes day-to-day relationships easier, and, on the other hand, it supports individualized and personalized intergenerational relationships. Far from creating distance, he thus notes that face-to-face communication becomes intertwined with media-based methods of communication, rather than being replaced.

These various sociological studies show that the use of digital tools and content reinforces tensions or bonds within a household, but are not the triggering factors of such relationships. People use these tools to free themselves from family life, as well as to reinforce and enjoy it . The conversations conducted during the online study also highlighted the wide range of effects, with respondents emphasizing both how social media can strengthen family bonds, as well as how certain tendencies often make others weaker.

Social Media As an Extra Means of Communication Between Parents and Children

Intra-familial uses of social media often begin when a teenager opens an account and their parents wish to join them: “ Since summer, I have felt obliged to open accounts on Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp and TikTok, because my children use these networks so often. ”   Accepting their parents as “friends” is often a condition children have to agree to when opening their accounts. Rather than wanting to keep tabs on them, these parents mention that above all they want to be attentive and support their children as they begin to learn about these new platforms.

Family organization then promotes fairly wide-ranging social media use within households, such as asking when someone is coming home, organizing shopping or finding out about major events during the day. It is also a way to show someone attention, to let them know you are thinking about them throughout the day: “ My partner and I keep in contact mainly via Snapchat, we send photos with filters or emojis and gifs. It is a way to exchange little messages during the day.”  Participants note that their children are more responsive when conversations take place on social media, which, for the sake of simplicity, gradually drives conversations toward this type of platform. These child-parent exchanges are particularly used in cases of shared custody or when children grow up and leave home.

It is also interesting to note that sometimes social media is used in the day-to-day life of a household, despite strong reluctance from some participants. It can be a pretty effective way to get children to listen to you: “ Dinner’s ready!! ” or, conversely, to keep conversations between adults discrete: “ Sometimes we send messages to each other so that we can talk without the children hearing. ”

It is clear that the increasing use of social media does not inevitably break down communication between parents and children. On the contrary, it can sometimes be an additional means of communication by facilitating conversations about topics shared online: “ I also think that children are sharing things on social media that they wouldn’t necessarily talk to us about. This gives us a starting point for conversations.”

Social Media Maintains—and Even Strengthens—Bonds with Extended Family

As well as such uses within households, social media seems to be used more often when communicating with extended family. Social media makes it possible to “be together as a family” with people who are more distant geographically or emotionally. Lockdowns particularly demonstrated a strong need to connect and the desire to create shared moments remotely, especially with older members of the family who have had accounts made for them. Families developed new communication habits, which are often still in use.

Again, we can see that social media has made strengthening certain relationships possible. Firstly, they make it possible to maintain or even strengthen, bonds and emotional closeness with loved ones who cannot be met in person due to geographical distance: “ Since I’ve been living abroad, I share much more with my parents than I did when I was in France 30 minutes away from home, ” said one of the study participants. They also allow renewed communication in family relationships where, due to geographical distance, there was either no relationship or it had faded away: “ One of my cousins lives in the United States. We see each other once a year when she visits her parents. Up to now, we would exchange pleasantries via Facebook. For the past few months, we’ve been regularly talking over video via Skype and especially via WhatsApp. When we were little, we were quite close. We’ve suddenly found each other again! We also invite her sister and with all three of us it feels like we are back together again. It’s great!”  Social media also extends or even strengthens relationships between people who are geographically close and we often see in person: “ I even talk to my parents and my father-in-law (who live 5 and 10 km away) on WhatsApp almost every day, even though we see each other a lot. It replaces giving them a quick call as I did in the past.”  Finally, social media means we can create less intimate links with family members who we are not emotionally close to and who we do not see often: “ This creates a relationship even if it is not as close and also allows you to keep in touch by liking or commenting on a post. I would say that overall I am in contact on social media with the family that I never or almost never see or call.”

Observed Tendencies That Sometimes Break Down Relationships

These four types of situation are testament to the positive role social media plays in maintaining intra-family communication. Nevertheless, the study also highlights a number of negative tendencies that sometimes damage these relationships. In particular, participants mentioned the risk of relationships becoming less intimate because connections are more superficial as a result of lower levels of investment . Participants felt like it was not always useful to catch up properly with someone when just a “like” was enough to show your loved ones you were there or when birthday cards were replaced by a quick Facebook message. One wrote: “ I catch up with people’s news but indirectly through likes or 2–3 sentence comments and that’s it. ” It can even go as far as risking breaking down relationships when certain groups have a steady and ever-increasing flow of messages that eventually exclude certain members who can no longer keep up and become overwhelmed: “ You can feel excluded on some networks like Facebook where some people are very active and systematically reply to other people’s comments. Little groups emerge, it’s a bit unpleasant.”  Not belonging to certain groups also excludes some people from many family conversations and exchanges, including in real life, as explained by another participant: “ Snapchat and Instagram became very popular and I really felt out of step with my friends and my family and I felt obligated to take an interest in it so that I would no longer feel left out when they talked about what they had shared virtually via social media in real life. ” Social media also risks causing feelings of emptiness and frustration. Being able to see whether contacts are available on social media leads to high expectations of quick response times: “ It just leads to problems and frustration. Someone might be able to open the message quickly but not have time to answer. Then I will see the notification that they have read the message and wait wondering why they are not answering me.”  Many questions arise when something is not answered immediately: “ We are unhappy when nothing happens. ”

Finally, there are a number of expected implicit codes when using social media, which can lead to conflicts between people due to misunderstandings when using the sites. For example, refusing a friend request on social media is seen as being a thorny issue as it may offend the person sending the request. According to the participants of the study, leaving a group is also taboo.

In conclusion, the use of social media in families has been added to variable pre-existing contexts of communication. It therefore has different effects on the nature and the depth of relationships, which can be weakened or strengthened to the same extent. Social media is thus never the sole cause of a lack of communication within a family but it can reinforce existing problems.

Moreover, we can see a real paradox in the uses described. There is a strong desire to maintain or even strengthen relationships with extended family members and social networks can help to do so. However, at the same time, the study showed the aim of devoting as little time to this as possible, which can lead to some of these relationships becoming more superficial.

Examining what the uses of social media reveal about family links and how they transform and build them is an important issue on which much remains to be learned. For Orange as a telecommunications company, understanding how individuals communicate, how they use the tools they have access to, and how such uses evolve over time is invaluable knowledge for learning how to position its service offering.

[1] Dream Café by Orange is a community site on which online qualitative studies are carried out amongst Internet users via discussion forums. 30 people participated in this study. It is a place to share experiences, test out mock-ups and services, share ideas about certain concepts or even create them, give feedback on prototypes and look to the future.

[2] The Digital Society Forum is an open collaborative platform initiated by Orange to provide everyone with the keys they need for better understanding our digital world. The DSF brings together sociologists, academics and stakeholders within civil society to discuss major themes regarding daily life.

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Social Media Use and Impact on Interpersonal Communication

• Conference paper
• First Online: 01 January 2015
• Cite this conference paper

• Yerika Jimenez 2 &
• Patricia Morreale 3  

Part of the book series: Communications in Computer and Information Science ((CCIS,volume 529))

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• International Conference on Human-Computer Interaction

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This research paper presents the findings of a research project that investigated how young adult interpersonal communications have changed since using social media. Specifically, the research focused on determining if using social media had a beneficial or an adverse effect on the development of interaction and communication skills of young adults. Results from interviews reveal a negative impact in young adult communications and social skills. In this paper young adult preferences in social media are also explored, to answer the question: Does social media usage affect the development of interaction and communication skills for young adults and set a basis for future adult communication behaviors?

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• Social media
• Social interaction
• Interpersonal communications
• Young adults

1 Introduction

Human interaction has changed drastically in the last 20 years, not only due to the introduction of the Internet, but also from social media and online communities. These social media options and communities have grown from being simply used to communicate on a private network into a strong culture that almost all individuals are using to communicate with others all over the world. We will concentrate on the impact that social media has on human communication and interaction among young adults, primarily college students. In today’s society, powerful social media platforms such as Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (IG), and Pinterest have been the result of an evolution that is changing how humans communicate with each other. The big question we asked ourselves was how much has social media really impacted the way that humans communicate and interact with each other, and if so, how significant is the change of interpersonal interaction among young adults in the United States today?

The motivation behind this research has been personal experience with interaction and communication with friends and family; it had become difficult, sometimes even rare, to have a one-on-one conversation with them, without having them glancing at or interacting with their phone. Has social interaction changed since the introduction of advanced technology and primarily social media? In correlation with the research data collected in this study, it was concluded that many participants’ personal communication has decreased due social media influence encouraging them to have online conversations, as opposed to face-to-face, in-person conversations.

2 Related Work

The question of how social media affects social and human interaction in our society is being actively researched and studied. A literature review highlights the positive and negative aspects of social media interaction, as researchers battle to understand the current and future effects of social media interaction. A study done by Keith Oatley, an emeritus professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, suggests that the brain may interpret digital interaction in the same manner as in-person interaction, while others maintain that differences are growing between how we perceive one another online as opposed to in reality [ 1 ]. This means that young adults can interpret online communication as being real one-on-one communication because the brain will process that information as a reality. Another study revealed that online interaction helps with the ability to relate to others, tolerate differing viewpoints, and express thoughts and feeling in a healthy way [ 2 , 3 ]. Moreover a study executed by the National Institutes of Health found that youths with strong, positive face-to-face relationships may be those most frequently using social media as an additional venue to interact with their peers [ 4 ].

In contrast, research reveals that individuals with many friends may appear to be focusing too much on Facebook, making friends out of desperation rather than popularity, spending a great deal of time on their computer ostensibly trying to make connections in a computer-mediated environment where they feel more comfortable rather than in face-to-face social interaction [ 5 ]. Moreover, a study among college freshman revealed that social media prevents people from being social and networking in person [ 6 ].

3 Experimental Design

This research study was divided into two parts during the academic year 2013–2014. Part one, conducted during fall semester 2013, had the purpose of understanding how and why young adults use their mobile devices, as well as how the students describe and identify with their mobile devices. This was done by distributing an online survey to several Kean University student communities: various majors, fraternity and sorority groups, sports groups, etc. The data revealed that users primarily used their mobile devices for social media and entertainment purposes. The surveyed individuals indicated that they mainly accessed mobile apps like Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram, to communicate, interact, and share many parts of their daily life with their friends and peers.

Based on the data collected during part one, a different approach and purpose was used for part two, with the goal being to understand how social media activities shape the communication skills of individuals and reflects their attitudes, attention, interests, and activities. Additionally, research included how young adult communication needs change through the use of different social media platforms, and if a pattern can be predicted from the users’ behavior on the social media platforms. Part two of this research was conducted by having 30 one-on-one interviews with young adults who are college students. During this interview key questions were asked in order to understand if there is a significant amount of interpersonal interaction between users and their peers. Interpersonal interaction is a communication process that involves the exchange of information, feelings and meaning by means of verbal or non-verbal messages. For the purposes of this paper, only the data collected during spring 2014 is presented.

4 Data Collection

Through interviews, accurate results of the interaction of young adults with social media were collected. These interviews involved 30 one-on-one conversations with Kean University students. Having one-on-one interviews with participants allowed for individual results, first responses from the participant, without permitting responses being skewed or influenced by other participants, such as might occur in group interviews. It also allows users to give truthful answers, in contrast to an online or paper survey, as they might have second thoughts about an answer and change it. The one-on-one interviews consisted of ten open-ended questions, which were aimed to answer, and ultimately determine, how social media interaction involuntarily influences, positively or negatively, an individual’s attitude, attention, interests, and social/personal activities. The largest motive behind the questions was to determine how individual communication skills, formally and informally, have changed from interacting with various social media platforms. The interviews, along with being recorded on paper, were also video and audio-recorded. The average time for each interview was between two to ten minutes. These interviews were held in quiet labs and during off-times, so that the responses could be given and recorded clearly and without distraction (Fig.  1 ). A total of 19 females and 11 males participated, with ages ranging from 19 to 28 years old.

Female participant during one-on-one interview

After conducting the interviews and analyzing the data collected, it was determined that the age when participants, both male and female, first began to use social media ranged between 9 to 17 years. It was found that, generally, males began to use social media around the age of 13, whereas females started around the age of 12. The average age for males starting to use social media is about 12.909 with a standard deviation of 2.343. For females, the average age is 12.263 with a standard deviation of 1.627. From this, we can determine that males generally begin to use social media around the age of 13, whereas females begin around the age of 12.

After determining the average age of when participants started using social media, it was necessary to find which social media platforms they had as a basis; meaning which social media platform they first used. MySpace was the first social media used by twenty-three participants, followed by Facebook with three users, and Mi Gente by only one user, with two participants not using social media at all. It was interesting to find that all of the participants who started using Myspace migrated to Facebook. The reasoning provided was that “everyone [they knew] started to use Facebook.” According to the participants, Facebook was “more interactive” and was “extremely easy to use.” The participants also stated that Myspace was becoming suitable for a younger user base, and it got boring because they needed to keep changing their profile backgrounds and modifying their top friends, which caused rifts or “popularity issues” between friends. After finding out which platform they started from, it was also essential to find out which platform they currently use. However, one platform that seemed to be used by all participants to keep up-to-date with their friends and acquaintances was Instagram, a picture and video-based social media platform. Another surprising finding was that many users did not use Pinterest at all, or had not even heard of the platform. After determining which social media platforms the users migrated to, it was essential to identify what caused the users to move from one platform to another. What are the merits of a certain platform that caused the users to migrate to it, and what are the drawbacks of another platform that caused users to migrate from it or simply not use it all?

4.1 Social Interaction Changes

For some participants social interaction had a chance for a positive outcome, while others viewed it in a more negative aspect. The participants were asked if their social interactions have changed since they were first exposed to social media (Table  1 ). One participant stated that “it is easier to just look at a social media page to see how friends and family are doing rather than have a one-on-one interaction.” As for people’s attitudes, they would rather comment or “like” a picture than stop and have a quick conversation. On the other hand, another participant felt that social media helped them when talking and expressing opinions on topics that they generally would not have discussed in person. Moreover, the participants are aware of the actions and thing that they are doing but continue to do it because they feel comfortable and did not desire to have one-on-one interactions with people.

The participants were also asked to explain how social media changed their communication and interactions during the years of using social media (Table  2 ). The data shows that participants interact less in person because they are relating more via online pictures and status. For other participants, it made them more cautious and even afraid of putting any personal information online because it might cause problems or rifts in their life. On the contrary, some participants stated that their communication and interaction is the same; however, they were able to see how it had changed for the people that are around them. A participant stated that “internet/social media is a power tool that allows people to be whatever they want and in a way it creates popularity, but once again they walk around acting like they do not know you and ‘like’ your pictures the next day.”

5 Discussion

The data illustrated in this paper shows how much the introduction and usage of social media has impacted the interaction and communication of young adults. The future of interaction and communication was also presented as a possibility, if the current trend continues with young adults and social media or online communities. This raises the notion of possibly not having any social, in-person interaction and having all communication or interaction online and virtually with all family and friends.

6 Conclusion

Referring back to the question asked during the introduction: how much has social media impacted the way we communicate and interact with each other? After reviewing all the findings, seeing the relationship individuals have with their mobile phones, and comparing social media platforms, it is clear that many young adults have an emotional attachment with their mobile device and want interaction that is quick and to the point, with minimal “in-person” contact. Many young adults prefer to use their mobile device to send a text message or interact via social media. This is due to their comfort level being higher while posting via social media applications, as opposed to in-person interaction. To successfully and accurately answer the question: yes, social media has had a very positive and negative effect on the way we communicate and interact with each other. However, how effective is this method of “virtual” communication and interaction in the real world?

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Jimenez, Y., Morreale, P. (2015). Social Media Use and Impact on Interpersonal Communication. In: Stephanidis, C. (eds) HCI International 2015 - Posters’ Extended Abstracts. HCI 2015. Communications in Computer and Information Science, vol 529. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-21383-5_15

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How does social media affect family relations?  

Social media has a significant impact on family relations. Studies show that excessive use of social media can negatively affect family relationships, leading to isolation and alienation from relatives and friends . It can also result in introverted personalities and a change in the value system . Social media usage has been found to be higher among people living in single-family groups compared to those living together . Additionally, social media is used as an escape from family problems . The perception of parents regarding the effects of social media on family systems plays a role in family functioning and open communication within the family . It is important to promote positive perceptions about social media's potential impact on family relationships and provide knowledge on how to use social media functionally . Overall, social media can both strengthen and weaken family bonds, depending on how it is used and the generation one belongs to .

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