personal statement sample for communication

Graduate School Personal Statement

The graduate school personal statement is your chance to show the graduate committee what it would be like to have you in the department. Would you contribute positively to the program, work well with others, and have the necessary skills to undertake important research? Convince them you are worth the investment and that you’re a good match for their program through a compelling story that’s based on your concrete experiences .

If you are in a hurry, you can also check out this short video for quick tips.

1. Before you start

1.1. Reflect on your experiences and goals

Reflect on your experience, motivation, and research goals. What drives your research motivations, and how do your motivations link to your background and long-term goals?

Think beyond the technical space when brainstorming ideas for your personal statement. What do you care about and value—besides getting a higher-level degree? Include experiences that demonstrate your leadership, organization, and communication skills as well. Whether it’s growing up on a farm, mentoring high school students, or leading a robotics team, these experiences can be used to demonstrate motivation, commitment, and a good work ethic. These are attributes that can help you be successful in a research lab.

1.2. Do the research on your target program

To demonstrate how well you fit with the program, you must know what they value and what they are working toward. Each department has different goals and missions; some might value fundamental science, others engineering innovation, and others societal impact. Here are initial steps to take while researching a graduate program:

• Read the program’s website —specifically their mission statement. See what language they use to describe themselves, and echo that language in your personal statement. This is also a good place to see what kind of research is currently being performed. Looking at MIT NSE’s mission statement, what can we notice?

• Look up recent publications from your target research group (if you have one). The department’s website might not be up to date with any group’s new research directions. This will avoid the scenario where you express interest in working on a research project that has been abandoned.
• Get in contact with faculty in your target program. If you have had a positive discussion with someone at the department, describe how those interactions indicate that you will be a good match.
• State which professors in the program you would plan to work with and why their research interests you. Show how their research areas align with your background and your goals. You can even describe potential research directions or projects. This is even more effective if you have contacted the professor beforehand and spoken with them about the possibility of doing research for them. However, not naming a specific group of interest is not an automatic “reject.”

1.3. Consider your audience

A graduate committee will review your application and determine if you would make a successful graduate student in the department. Although the determination varies from committee to committee, the reviewers will be looking for the following criteria, which you should specifically address in your statement:

• Your ability to perform high-quality and independent research
• Your readiness to complete the expected coursework for your program
• Your likelihood to be a match in the department (ex: If you are currently in a physics program, you will need to explain why you’re seeking an advanced degree in nuclear engineering).

A graduate committee is usually composed of faculty from the program of interest—and may be the same people who will spend years working with you if you’re accepted. They more than likely have the following:

• A strong knowledge of the program’s general subject areas and familiarity with your proposed research area
• Familiarity with the academic setting and some courses, but not necessarily the courses you have taken
• Access to the rest of your application materials.

If applying to MIT’s Nuclear Science and Engineering department, you can assume your audience knows what a tokamak is, but you cannot expect (all of) them to know every component. Likewise, you need not list all of your courses but could emphasize one or two advanced subjects if they are relevant to your past and intended future research.

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2. Structure of a personal statement

As long as you stay within the specifications set by your target program, you have the freedom to structure your personal statement as you wish. Still, you can use the structure shown on the right as a loose guide for demonstrating match.

2.1. Create a personal narrative 

Build a personal narrative that ties together your personal history, experiences, and motivations. In addition to a few paragraphs (2-3) at the beginning of your statement, you can weave your motivation and goals throughout your document to create a cohesive story. This cements your identity into the minds of the graduate committee. If they remember you, they will be more likely to accept you!

When crafting a personal narrative, consider the following:

• What research directions are you passionate about, and why?
• Was there a moment that sparked your interest in your proposed field?
• What do you picture yourself doing in 10 years?

Keep these questions in mind as you are writing other sections of your personal statement.

2.2. Your Experiences

This section is typically 2-4 paragraphs long, with examples to illustrate your point. To decide which experiences to share, ask yourself these two questions: In which ways did this experience help me grow? Why should the review committee care? One common mistake is to describe an experience in great detail and then fail to translate it into relevant strengths that the committee would care about. Therefore, explicitly say what that experience means for your future goals, including your work as a graduate student.

2.3. Specific research interest  

Spend 1-2 paragraphs describing your research goals. Briefly summarize the projects you want to work on (and professors you’d like to work with, if applicable), and how those fit in with your experiences. Describe how your past experiences have prepared you for working on this new project in graduate school. If you’re already in graduate school, you can spend more time on this section, as it is also a part of your past experiences.

2.4. Career goals 

Finally, your long-term career goals should be a logical completion of the personal narrative you’ve built throughout the document, and usually takes up one paragraph. How will this graduate program fit into your future career? How will graduate school in general allow you to pursue these goals? Because your personal statement should show that you are a qualified match, describe how your goals overlap with those of the department or program. Your readers will not hold you to these goals, but they will see you are forward-thinking and have ambitions.

3. Maximize Effectiveness

3.1. use concrete examples.

Make your relevant experiences tangible by stating specific outcomes such as awards, discoveries, and publications. Whenever possible, try to quantify the experience. How many people were on your team? How many protocols did you develop? As a TA, how often did you meet with your students? Here are some examples of vague and concrete experiences:

3.2. Explain the meaning of your experiences

• Why was this experience important to your growth as a scientist?
• What did you gain from or demonstrate during that experience?
• How will this make you a better grad student?

Even if it feels obvious to you, you need to explicitly answer these questions to your audience. Here are some examples experiences that have been expanded to contain meaning:

4. Quick Tips and Additional Resources

• Read the prompt carefully. Each school is unique, and will have unique requirements for their applications. If anything in those requirements contradicts with advice you read here or elsewhere, go with the application guidelines. Make sure your document meets criteria for length, formatting, font, file type, etc. specified in the application, and answers any specific questions asked.
• Double check your spelling and grammar. A well-written statement demonstrates your communication skills, which are essential for success in graduate school.
• Triple check that you have the right program and avoid accidentally putting the name of another graduate school into the document. Also check for specific labs or professors that you have mentioned in other statements. Using the search feature of your text editor will catch whatever you miss.
• Seek feedback from someone who’s not familiar with your work. Departments are diverse and your statement should make sense to someone in your field but outside your specific research area.
• Be strategic with letters of references. Do not go to professors who you think will write you the most positive letters. Instead, go to those who can write about specific experiences that demonstrates the skills that you want to highlight in your application. Each letter should bring new and complementing insights into who you are as a student and researcher.
• Check out other resources , such as The Key to Successful Applications (a blog post from MIT Graduate Admissions) and Apply to Grad School from MIT’s Career Development and Professional Development (CAPD).

5. Annotated Examples

Here are examples of graduate school personal statements from students who have been accepted into MIT NSE. Note that prompts vary from program to program, and sometimes from year to year within the same department. Be sure to follow the prompt for your program and your application cycle.

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Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

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What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

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• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

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However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

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• Knowledge Base
• Applying to graduate school
• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

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Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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Media and communication personal statements

On this page you'll find a collection of real personal statements written by students applying to study media, communication and related courses at university.

These personal statements are written by real students - don't expect them all to be perfect! But by reading through a few of these samples, you'll be able to get some ideas and inspiration for your own personal statement. 

Media and communication personal statement examples

More help with your personal statement.

You can find personal statement examples for other courses by using this subject list, or by returning to our personal statements by subject page.

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How To Write a Personal Statement That Stands Out

Table of contents

Laura Jane Bradbury

A personal statement is a chance to highlight your unique qualities, skills, and experiences, all while showcasing your personality.

But whether you're applying for university, a job, or funding, it can be daunting to write about yourself. To increase your chances of getting accepted, it's important to know how to create an effective personal statement.

In my six years as a copywriter, I’ve written many personal statements that get results. In this article, I’ll guide you through what to include, what to avoid, and how to tailor a personal statement based on your application type.

Key Takeaways

• A personal statement is an opportunity to share your unique qualities, experiences, and skills.
• It should always relate to the course, job, or funding you are applying for.
• Include accomplishments and experiences that demonstrate how suited you are to the position or course you are applying for.
• Use clear and simple language to ensure your points are understood.

Your personal statement should be concise and demonstrate how you fit the position or opportunity you’re applying for. It’s important to keep information relevant, rather than listing all of your skills and accomplishments.

Follow these steps to accurately write and tailor your statement.

Understand your prompt

Before you start, make sure you understand what's expected of you. Are there specific instructions, keywords, or phrases that stand out in your prompt? Read through it thoroughly and note the requirements. You can then brainstorm ideas for each point.

Let's say I'm applying for a university journalism course. I've been asked to write a statement that shares why I'm interested and why I would be a good fit. I can use columns to plan my content:

Putting your ideas together first makes it easier to stay on track. Otherwise, you might lose focus and include irrelevant information. 

Show, don't just tell

Once you’ve listed your experiences, skills, and accomplishments, consider how you can demonstrate them with examples. Take a look at the list you created during the previous exercise and organize your points so you have clear examples and proof.

This technique helps you demonstrate your experiences and how they tie in with your application.

When telling anecdotes, use engaging stories that demonstrate your skills. For instance, a story about how I handled a fast-paced news internship proves I work well under pressure. 

Start strong

Recruiters, application tutors, and funders read lots of personal statements. You can make yours stand out with an engaging introduction.

Examples of a strong opening include:

A meaningful statistic

This draws readers in and increases credibility: 

"Communication is the key to marketing success, according to Business Marketing News. With five years of experience communicating and delivering campaigns to global clients, I have the skills and passion to add value to your team."

A personal story

Anecdotes connect the reader with the author’s real-life experience: 

"My first exposure to microbiology was during my time as a research assistant for a microbiologist. I was fascinated by the complex and intricate processes within cells."

An alarming statement

This piques the reader’s interest by making an issue seem urgent:  

“ The fashion industry churns out clothes at an alarming rate, causing mass production of synthetic fibers and harsh chemicals which have a detrimental impact on the planet. Funding my sustainability initiative is vital to mitigating this environmental impact." 

Avoid cliches such as "From a young age, I have always loved...." and "For as long as I can remember, I have had a passion for..."

Pro tip: Use Wordtune Editor 's Shorten feature to cut unnecessary fluff and make your intro sharper. Simply type in your sentence and click Shorten to receive suggestions.

Get Wordtune for free > Get Wordtune for free >

Admission committees and employers appreciate sincerity and authenticity. While it may be tempting, avoid exaggeration. You can better emphasize your skills and personality by being honest. For instance, rather than claiming I read every type of newspaper in my journalism application, I can focus on my dedication to reading The New York Times.

Your writing style should also feel genuine. Instead of trying to impress with complex language and fancy words, keep sentences simple and direct . This makes them more effective because they’re easier to read. 

Address weaknesses

Addressing weaknesses can show your willingness to confront challenges. It also gives you a chance to share efforts you have made for improvement. When explaining a weakness, exclude excuses.

Instead of saying "I didn't achieve my expected grades due to work commitments impacting my studies," try “While I didn't achieve my expected grades, I am now working with a tutor to help me understand my weak areas so I can succeed in your program.”

Wordtune’s Spices feature can help you develop counterarguments to weaknesses. In the Editor, highlight your text, click on Spices, and then Counterargument . Here’s an example:

Using Wordtune’s suggestion, I can highlight my eagerness to learn and provide examples to support my argument.

Highlight achievements

This is your chance to shine! A personal statement should highlight your best qualities — provided they relate to your prompt.

Ask yourself:

• What are your skills and strengths? Identify both academic and non-academic abilities such as critical thinking, problem-solving, and teamwork.
• What challenges have you faced? Reflect on how you have overcome significant challenges and how these experiences have helped you grow. For example, completing a course, learning a new language, or starting a business.
• What are your unique selling points? Consider what sets you apart from other applicants. For example, you may have a unique set of technical skills or experience learning in a different country.
• How have your achievements shaped your goals and aspirations? Sharing your goals shows that you think long-term and have taken the time to make sure you’re applying for the right opportunity.

Connect with the institution or company

Tailor your statement to the specific institution or company you're applying to — this shows you understand their values and have carefully considered where you want to seek opportunities.

To do this, head to the company or institution’s website and look for the About page. Many organizations include a mission statement on this page that conveys its purpose and values.

For example, universities often include their values under “Community” or “Student Life” sections. Here, Princeton University’s “In Service of Humanity” section highlights how they value using education to benefit society. Applicants can engage with this by explaining how they interact with their communities and seek to use their education to help others.

You can also research a company or institution’s social media. Look for similarities — maybe you both prioritize collaboration or think outside the box. Draw upon this in your personal statement. 

End with a strong conclusion

A strong conclusion is clear, concise, and leaves a lasting impression. Use these three steps:

• Summarize the main points of your statement. For example, “My experience volunteering for the school newspaper, along with my communication skills and enthusiasm for writing, make me an ideal student for your university."
• Discuss your future . Share your future ambitions to remind the reader that you’ve carefully considered how the opportunity fits into your plans.
• Include a closing statement. End on a positive note and offer the reader a final explanation for why you would be a great match. For instance, “Thank you for reviewing my statement. I am confident my skills and experience align with the role and your company culture.”

Tip: Learn more about writing an effective conclusion with our handy guide . 

Different types of personal statements

Now you know how to write a personal statement, let’s look at what to focus on depending on your application type.

The length of your personal statement will vary depending on the type. Generally, it should be around 500 words to 650 words . However, a university application is often longer than a statement for a job, so it’s vital to determine what is expected of you from the beginning.

Whatever the length, it’s important to remove and edit content fluff , including any repetition or copy that does not relate to your prompt.

Personal statement checklist

Use this checklist to ensure that your statement includes: 

• An engaging introduction.
• Clear examples of your experiences, skills, and expertise. 
• A commitment to improvement, if required.
• Any applicable achievements. 
• A direct connection to the company or institution’s values.
• A strong conclusion that summarizes information without adding new content.
• Authentic, simple language.

Personal statements are an opportunity to delve deeper and share who you are beyond your grades or resume experience. Demonstrate your ability with anecdotes and examples, address any weaknesses, and remember to use genuine and simple language. This is your place to shine, so follow our tips while displaying your unique personality, and you’ll be sure to stand out from the crowd.

Want to get started and create a powerful introduction? Read our step-by-step guide .

What is the difference between a cover letter and a personal statement?

A cover letter expresses your interest in a position and introduces you to an employer. It’s typically shorter and focuses on your qualifications, skills, and experience for a particular role. A personal statement, however, is common for a job, internship, funding, or university application. It explores your background, goals, and aspirations, as well as your skills and experience.

What is the purpose of a personal statement?

A personal statement is an opportunity to stand out by detailing your background, experiences, and aspirations. It should explain why you are interested in and a good match for the company or institution you are applying to.

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Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Cross-Cultural Communication

Reading as many examples of personal statements as possible is a valuable strategy if you’re applying to a university or college course. 

After all, personal statement examples can teach you how to write and structure your application, and you can quickly learn how to write a personal statement by examining others.

But with so many university personal statement examples available, how do you know if you’re reading a good one?

Postgraduate personal statements should highlight relevant academic and practical experience, research skills and ambitions and their suitability for the course. This postgraduate personal statement example for Cross-Cultural Communication clearly considers these three critical elements.

Studying master’s degree personal statement examples can be especially valuable. They’re sometimes referred to as personal mission statements or statements of purpose , so if you’re tasked with writing a personal mission statement, the following example will work for you.

I’ve broken down this personal statement example section by section, with a commentary on each element. 

That way, you’ll see its strengths and weaknesses and get some inspiration for your own personal statement .

Once you’ve read the personal statement example and analysis, you can download a pdf of the whole document to use as inspiration for your own!

Personal Statement Example: Introduction

“Pushing myself to meet challenges and discover new possibilities is key to moving forward in life. Indeed, in the five years since I graduated, I have developed a successful career as Head of E-commerce Sales Operations. However, I have realised that my lack of marketing and global communication skills is stopping me from achieving my career ambitions.  By combining my professional experience with the courses offered through the Cross-Cultural Communications and International Marketing MA programme at Buckley University, I am confident that I will maximise my technical and practical skills and pursue the next stage of my career.”

My Commentary and Analysis 

The writer begins this personal statement example with a clear statement of intent that reflects their personal ethos and ambition. This is a positive opening and provides a foundation from which to develop the rest of the content. It also indicates a clear sense of purpose and academic endeavour, which is welcome in this kind of application.

The applicant also introduces their professional background and experience, which is relevant and of a high standard. Most importantly, however, they indicate gaps in their knowledge that will be filled as a result of studying on this course. 

This is a really critical aspect of a personal statement, as it shows the reader that the applicant has a sound reason for applying and that they are likely to gain full value from the experience.

If you’re struggling with your personal statement introduction, check out my article on how to write perfect opening paragraphs here .

Personal Statement Example: Professional Background 1

“My work experience and undergraduate background in International Economics and Trade provide me with a solid industry foundation and numerous transferable skills relevant to this programme. Having gained a sound understanding of macroeconomics and microeconomics, I derive great satisfaction from knowing that complicated issues can be brought back to simple terms of supply, demand and competition, connecting with other fundamental forces that determine equilibrium in a market economy. Management Studies exposed me to the principles and mechanics that regulate corporate and business life. For example, applying the Boston matrix model afforded me an effective perspective to develop sales and marketing strategies for different product lines. In the Foreign Trade Conversation and Negotiation course, I learned the power of words and honed my ability to communicate effectively with clients and peers. This helped me in my first job as an international business development manager, where I successfully expanded partnerships with clients from various cultural backgrounds and improved my cross-functional communication abilities.

My second job as a cross-border e-commerce operator required me to regularly edit and optimise e-commerce product description pages and images to satisfy the demands and tastes of international consumers. In this role, gaining an awareness of the optimisation of the company’s low-margin items offered on Amazon made me acutely aware that when marketing efforts transcend national lines, the relevance of cultural elements comes to the fore. Indeed, culture infuses every aspect of marketing, from product style and packaging to commission calculation and seller selection.”

My Commentary and Analysis

This section begins with a relatively general but effective statement regarding the writer’s academic and experiential suitability. Certainly, the language of business is used impressively, and there’s a strong sense here of competence and relevancy, which is critical in a postgraduate personal statement.

The writer goes on to give examples of skills developed in professional roles. This works well and is important to include, especially as they write from the perspective of the skills learned rather than simply listing the experience. 

To improve this, the applicant could have made some specific links to elements of the course and indicated exactly how these skills prepared them and made them highly suitable. Without doing this, a high degree of relevancy is lost. It’s always sensible to be explicit and make links between your knowledge and the demands of the course you’re applying for. The reader doesn’t know you, and you need to make the connections as clear as you can for them

The final section above continues in a similar way and offers a further range of qualifications. Again, these are probably relevant and show that the writer has a sound working vocabulary related to business practice, but stronger connections to the course could have been made here. Equally, the writer could have indicated how, in developing these skills, they became aware of weaknesses or gaps in their knowledge and the ways in which the course would be essential in filling these. 

This would have put these experiences into context and been reassuring for the reader, potentially resulting in an achievable offer.

If you’d like to learn more about structuring your personal statement or statement of purpose , check out my awesome Personal Statement Template eBook here . It’s full of detailed examples of what to include!

Personal Statement Example: Professional Background 2

“In 2021, an increasing volume of new sellers entering the Amazon platform resulted in declining sales and profits for our product line. I was tasked with reviewing the product line and finding ways to generate revenue and increase sales. I started by analysing competitor data and evaluating the different marketing strategies utilised by local and global sellers. Subsequently, I crawled buyer reviews online and emailed interviews for consumer research, discovering that the platform had significant competition from similar low-priced products. Since the local market’s customers have distinct consumer inclinations, at least 30% of consumers conveyed that product features and quantities were not meeting their needs. I immediately saw this as an opportunity and partnered with our team to adjust our product strategy by upgrading product features, increasing the number of bundles sold to meet consumer demand, and increasing the unit price. Meanwhile, we optimised the packaging, product appearance and online imagery by employing a more local, consumer-friendly aesthetic. To ensure the ability to replicate our successes, I used A/B testing, tracking and impact analysis, and I am confident that these skills will play a valuable role in my postgraduate studies.

Ultimately, we experienced a 50% increase in sales for the entire product line and an improvement in profitability to greater than 20%, illustrating clearly that adopting the correct cross-cultural marketing strategy can enhance marketing efficiency and reduce company risks. To maintain our long-term advantage, a complete international marketing strategy is necessary. I am confident that pursuing a master’s degree will give me the tools and networks needed to achieve this goal.”

Commentary and Analysis

This section continues in a similar vein to the one above. It’s a well-written and compelling piece of writing and outlines further skills and experiences without repetition. 

It is only towards the very end that the writer begins to make reference to the subject of their intended postgraduate degree, and even then, the reference is a little bit oblique. It’s very much become a ‘business’ personal statement rather than a ‘cross-cultural communication’ personal statement, and the writer is in danger of giving the impression of applying for a course they are not wholly suited for.

Even so, the last couple of sentences make the link, and the reader will now expect the content to become more pertinent and explanatory.

Check out lots more examples of personal statements here , and see how they can inspire your application!

Personal Statement Example: Motivation For Study

“I am attracted to Buckley’s strong commitment to research and innovation and impressed by the quality and depth of content, teaching and opportunity in this MA programme. It will offer me a systematic framework for understanding international marketing and help me build the skills I need in marketing theory, global communication and brand management. As a postgraduate student, I’d like to learn about strategic market analysis, contemporary branding, international consumer behaviour and formulation of international marketing strategy. The Research Portfolio module will help me refine my data-gathering and analysis methodologies skills and illustrate how these skills can be applied to my field of study. Equally, studying Introduction to Intercultural Communication will teach me how to work more comfortably in an increasingly complex and internationally interconnected environment, which is critical to studying cross-cultural communication and international marketing. I’m particularly interested in Professor Marshall’s international marketing course since it will teach me advanced strategies for developing products for global markets, comprehending local customer behaviour and constructing an international marketing plan. This, alongside the International Brand Management unit, will allow me to learn fundamental and cutting-edge theories and models, supporting my future career plans.”

My Commentary and Analysis: 

This section of the personal statement is extremely successful and, in many respects, is the most compelling content, as it links directly to the course being applied for.

It might sound obvious, but this is a step that many applicants fail to take. By showing that you have an understanding of the course components – shown here through a discussion of the writer’s academic ambitions – you make it clear that your application is well-considered and tailored to a particular institution. 

By referencing the value of specific modules and even working with particular faculty members, the reader can be reassured that the applicant has chosen the course because it fits in with their long-term goals. 

That means they’re more likely to be successful on the course, and that’s exactly what the university wants too.

The one thing that all successful personal statements have in common is that they are concise, engaging and accurate in spelling, punctuation and grammar. Consequently, I always recommend Grammarly to my students and clients. 

It’s an outstanding tool for ensuring your personal statement is rich with detail whilst hitting those all-important word limits. Check out the free version of Grammarly here , or hit the banner for more information.

Personal Statement Example: Conclusion

“My short-term ambition is to work as a marketing manager for a cross-border e-commerce company, combining my experience in e-commerce operations and the international marketing and global communication knowledge gleaned from this postgraduate course. Subsequently, I intend to start my own cross-border e-commerce company. My country has a wide range of quality manufacturing plants and unique cultural crafts. My goal is to make these beautiful products visible and accessible to as broad a public as possible. An education from Buckley University will provide invaluable experience and skills that will allow me to launch the next chapter of my career.  I look forward to playing a positive and active role as a member of your highly-respected faculty.”

The writer’s professional goals match the outcomes from the course, and that is another very positive element of this personal statement. When your long-term aims can recognisably be achieved as a result of studying on a specific course, then admissions teams can recognise the logic in the application and feel comfortable making an offer as a result.

The final sentence makes a token reference to ‘playing a positive and active role’, and whilst that’s important, it would be worth the writer adding slightly more here, making it clear exactly the value they would bring to the faculty community. Universities are keen to see evidence of how an applicant might bring value to their peers or advance the research taking place within a faculty, so being clearer on this point is a sound strategy.

In summary, this is a postgraduate personal statement example that show a wealth of professional experience and skills in a related area and provides a clear sense of motivation for study.

It lacks connection with the course content throughout – showing exactly how a skill or experience has prepared the writer for a particular course element – and lacks examples of the writer’s academic abilities. Very little mention is made of research or writing skills gained as an undergraduate, and although skills used in the professional arena are relevant, showing how academic and independent study skills have been developed is vital content to include.

For more great advice, check out my article on writing an excellent final personal statement paragraph here .

Click here or on the banner below to get your free download of this complete personal statement example . 

Whether you’re looking for personal mission statement examples or an example of personal purpose statement, I hope this personal statement example has been helpful. Above all, I wish you every success in your academic career. 

If you’d like to work with me to develop your personal statement 1:1 and write a powerful mission statement, I’d be delighted to hear from you. 

Find out about my personal statement support services by clicking here or on the image below.

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet .

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

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By Nik Taylor (Editor, The Uni Guide) | 18 August 2023 | 22 min read

How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

Stand out from the crowd: here's how to write a good personal statement that will get you noticed

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Your personal statement forms a core part of your university application, and the sooner you get going, the better you can make it. You may think that your personal statement won’t matter as much to unis as your grades and experience but a great personal statement could make all the difference between you and a candidate with the same grades. Sure, your application might not reach that deal breaker stage. But is it something you want to leave to chance?  Here we’ll take you through the process of planning, writing and checking a good personal statement, so you end up with something you can submit with confidence. And to make sure the advice we're giving you is sound, we’ve spoken to admissions staff at loads of UK universities to get their view. Look out for video interviews and advice on applying for specific subjects throughout this piece or watch our personal statement playlist on YouTube .

• Are you looking for personal statement examples? Check our library of hundreds of real personal statements, on The Student Room

Personal statement deadlines

You'll need to make sure you've got your personal statement written well in advance of your application deadline. Below are the main university application deadline dates for 2025 entry.

2025 entry deadlines

15 October 2024: Deadline for applications to Oxford and Cambridge universities, along with most medicine, dentistry, and veterinary courses.   29 January 2025: Deadline for applications to the majority of undergraduate courses. After this date, universities will start allocating places on these courses –   but you can still apply after the 29 January deadline , as this article explains . 30 June 2025:  Students who apply after this date will be entered into Clearing .

• Read more: Ucas deadlines and key application dates

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a central part of your Ucas application, where you explain why you’ve chosen a particular course and why you’ll be good at it. It's your chance to stand out against other candidates and hopefully get that all-important offer. You only write one personal statement which is then read by each university you apply to, so if you are applying for more than one subject (or it's a combined course) it's crucial that you include common themes or reference the overall skills needed for all subjects. Personal statements are especially important if you’re trying to get on a very competitive course, where you need to do anything you can to stand out to admissions tutors. Courteney Sheppard, senior customer experience manager at Ucas, advises that your personal statement is "the only part of the application that you have direct control over. Do lots of research to demonstrate your passion, curiosity and drive to pursue your chosen subject." There’s a limit on how much you can write: your personal statement can be up to 4,000 characters (including spaces) or 47 lines of 95 characters (including spaces); whichever is shorter. This may appear generous (read: long) but once you've got going you may find yourself having to edit heavily.

• Read more: teacher secrets for writing a great personal statement

1. Plan what you want to cover

The first thing you need to do is make a plan. Writing a personal statement off the top of your head is difficult. Start by making some notes, answering the following questions:

• What do you want to study?
• Why do you want to study it?
• What is there about you that shows you’re suited to studying this subject at university? Think about your personality, as well as your experiences.
• What are your other interests and skills?

These few points are going to form the spine of your personal statement, so write them in a way that makes sense to you. You might want to make a simple bulleted list or you might want to get all arty and use a mindmap. Whatever you choose, your aim is the same. You want to get it clear in your own head why a university should offer you a place on its course. Getting those details down isn't always easy, and some people find it helpful to make notes over time. You might try carrying a notebook with you or set up a memo on your phone. Whenever you think of something useful for your personal statement, jot it down. Inspiration sometimes comes more easily when you’re thinking about something else entirely. It might help to take a look at The Student Room for some sample personal statements by university and sample personal statements by subjects , to give you an idea of the kind of thing you want to include. 

• Read more: personal statement FAQs

2. Show off your experience

Some things are worth adding to your personal statement, some things are not. Firmly in the second camp are your qualifications. You don’t need to mention these as there’s a whole other section of your personal statement where you get to detail them very precisely. Don’t waste a single character going on about how great your GCSE grades are – it’s not what the admissions tutor wants to read. What they do want to see is: what have you done? OK, so you’ve got some good grades, but so do a lot of other applicants. What have you done that’s different, that shows you off as someone who really loves the subject you’re applying for? Spend some time thinking about all the experience you have in that subject. If you’re lucky, this might be direct work experience. That’s going to be particularly appropriate if you’re applying for one of the more vocational subjects such as medicine or journalism . But uni staff realise getting plum work experience placements is easier for some people than others, so cast your net wider when you’re thinking about what you’ve done. How about after-school clubs? Debating societies? Are you running a blog or vlog? What key skills and experience have you picked up elsewhere (eg from hobbies) that could be tied in with your course choice? Remember, you’re looking for experience that shows why you want to study your chosen subject. You’re not just writing an essay about what you're doing in your A-level syllabus. Use this checklist as a guide for what to include:

• Your interest in the course. Why do you want to spend three years studying this subject at university?
• What have you done outside school or college that demonstrates this interest? Think about things like fairs/exhibitions, public lectures or voluntary work that is relevant to your subject.
• Relevant work experience (essential for the likes of medicine, not required for non-vocational courses such as English )
• Skills and qualities required for that career if appropriate (medicine, nursing and law as obvious examples)
• Interest in your current studies – what particular topics have made an impression on you?
• Any other interests/hobbies/experiences you wish to mention that are relevant either to the subject or 'going to uni'. Don't just list your hobbies, you need to be very selective and state clearly what difference doing these things has made to you.
• Plans for a gap year if you’re deferring entry.

Read more: 6 steps you need to take to apply to university

3. Be bold about your achievements

Don't be bashful about your achievements; that’s not going to help you get into uni. It's time to unleash your inner Muhammed Ali and get all “I am the greatest” with your writing. Do keep it focused and accurate. Do keep your language professional. But don’t hide your qualities beneath a layer of false modesty. Your personal statement is a sell – you are selling yourself as a brilliant student and you need to show the reader why that is true. This doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and if you’re finding it difficult to write about how great you are it’s time to enlist some help. Round up a friend or two, a family member, a teacher, whoever and get them to write down your qualities. Getting someone else’s view here can help you get some perspective. Don’t be shy. You are selling your skills, your experience and your enthusiasm – make sure they all leap off the screen with the way you have described them.

• Read more: the ten biggest mistakes when writing your personal statement  

4. How to start your personal statement

Type your personal statement in a cloud-based word processing program, such as Google Docs or Microsoft Word and don’t copy and paste it into Ucas Hub until it’s finished.  One of the benefits of doing it this way is that you can run spell check easily. (Please note, though, that Word adds "curly" quotation marks and other characters (like é or ü) that won't show up on your Ucas form, so do proofread it on Ucas Hub before submitting it to ensure it is how you typed it.)  Another big benefit is that you'll always have a backup of what you've written. If you're being super careful, you could always save your statement in another place as well. Bear in mind that extra spaces (eg adding spaces to the beginnings of paragraphs as indentation) are removed on Ucas. In your first sentence, cut to the chase. Why do you want to do the course? Don’t waste any time rambling on about the daydreams you had when you were five. Just be clear and concise – describe in one line why this course is so important to you. Then, in the rest of your intro, go into more detail in demonstrating your enthusiasm for the course and explaining how you decided this is what you want to do for the next three or more years. However you choose to start your statement, just avoid the following hoary old chestnuts. These have been some of the most used lines in personal statements over the years – they are beyond cliche, so don’t even think about it.

• From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]…
• For as long as I can remember, I have…
• I am applying for this course because… 
• I have always been interested in… 
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… 
• Reflecting on my educational experiences… 
• [Subject] is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… 
• Academically, I have always been… 
• I have always wanted to pursue a career in… 
• I have always been passionate about…   

5. Focus your writing on why you've chosen that subject

So you’ve got your intro done – time to nail the rest of it. Bear in mind that you’ve got to be a little bit careful when following a personal statement template. It’s easy to fall into the trap of copying someone else’s style, and in the process lose all of your own voice and personality from your writing. But there is a rough order that you can follow, which should help keep you in your flow. After your opening paragraph or two, get into any work experience (if you’ve got it). Talk about extracurriculars: anything you've done which is relevant to the subject can go here – hobbies, interests, volunteering. Touch on your career aspirations – where do you want this course to take you? Next, show your enthusiasm for your current studies. Cite some specific examples of current work that you enjoyed. Show off your relevant skills and qualities by explaining how you’ve used these in the past. Make sure you’re giving real-world examples here, not just vague assertions like “I’m really organised and motivated”. Try to use examples that are relevant.   Follow this up with something about you as a person. Talk about non-academic stuff that you like to do, but link it in some way with the course, or with how it shows your maturity for dealing with uni life. Round it all off by bringing your main points together, including a final emphasis of your commitment to studying this particular course.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement in an evening  

6. How long should a personal statement be?

You've got to work to a very specific limit when writing your personal statement. In theory you could use up to 4,000 characters – but you’re probably more likely to be limited by the line count. That's because it's a good idea to put line breaks in between your paragraphs (to make it more readable) and you only get a maximum of 47 lines. With this in mind, 3,500 characters is a more realistic limit. But when you’re getting started you should ignore these limits completely. At first, you just want to get down everything that you feel is important. You'll probably end up with something that is far too long, but that's fine. This is where you get to do some polishing and pruning. Keep the focus of your piece on the course you’re applying for, why you want to do it and why you’re perfectly suited to it. Look through what you’ve written so far – have you got the balance right? Chop out anything that goes on a bit, as you want each point to be snappy and succinct.

• Read more: universities reveal all about personal statements  

7. Keep it simple

Editing your statement isn’t just about hitting a character count. You need to also make sure your writing is doing its job: explaining why you want to do the course and why you’re right for it. Simplicity is the key here. Aim for short, punchy sentences that get your point across. Keep reminding yourself that you are not writing an essay. What matters are the facts – get these across clearly and avoid the temptation to embroider your writing with flowery language. As a guide, spend around 60% of the space talking about your course, why you want to do it and how you’re suited to it, 30% on your work experience and any other activities that are relevant to your subject and 10% on your career aspirations. Exactly how you write your statement depends on your subject – generally people write more about work experience for vocational subjects like medicine and law than they would for subjects like maths or English where work experience is less important.   

8. Smart ways to end your personal statement

Writing a closing line that you’re happy with can feel as tricky as coming up with your opener. What you’re looking for here is a sign-off that is bold and memorable. The final couple of sentences in your statement give you the opportunity to emphasise all the good stuff you’ve already covered. Use this space to leave the reader in no doubt as to what an excellent addition you would be to their university. Pull together all your key points and – most importantly – address the central question that your personal statement should answer: why should you get a place on the course?

• Read more: universities explain how to end your personal statement with a bang  

9. Make sure your personal statement has no mistakes

Now you’ve got a personal statement you’re happy with, you need to make sure there are no mistakes. Check it, check it a second time, then check it again. Once you’ve done that, get someone else to check it, too. You will be doing yourself a massive disservice if you send through a personal statement with spelling and/or grammatical errors. You’ve got months to put this together so there really is no excuse for sending through something that looks like a rush job. Ask your teachers to look at it, and be prepared to accept their feedback without getting defensive. They will have seen many personal statements before; use what they tell you to make yours even better. You’ve also got another chance here to look through the content of your personal statement, so you can make sure the balance is right. Make sure your focus is very clearly on the subject you are applying for and why you want to study it. Don’t post your personal statement on the internet or social media where anyone can see it. You will get picked up by the Ucas plagiarism checker. Similarly, don't copy any that you find online. Instead, now is a good time to make your parents feel useful. Read your personal statement out to them and get them to give you feedback. Or try printing it out and mixing it up with a few others (you can find sample personal statements on The Student Room). Get them to read them all and then try to pick yours out. If they can't, perhaps there's not enough of your personality in there.  

10. Don't think about your personal statement for a whole week

If you followed the advice at the very start of this guide, you’ve started your personal statement early. Good job! There are months before you need to submit it. Use one of these weeks to forget about your personal statement completely. Get on with other things – anything you like. Just don’t go near your statement. Give it a whole week and then open up the document again and read through it with fresh eyes. You’ll gain a whole new perspective on what you’ve written and will be well placed to make more changes, if needed.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement when you have nothing interesting to say  

10 steps to your ideal personal statement

In summary, here are the ten steps you should follow to create the perfect personal statement.  

Personal statement dos and don'ts

• Remember that your personal statement is your personal statement, not an article written about your intended field of study. It should tell the reader about you, not about the subject.
• Only put in things that you’re prepared to talk about at the interviews.
• Give convincing reasons for why you want to study the course – more than just "enjoying the subject" (this should be a given).
• For very competitive courses, find out as much as you can about the nature of the course and try to make your personal statement relevant to this.
• Be reflective. If you make a point like 'I like reading', 'I travelled abroad', say what you got from it.
• Go through the whole thing checking your grammar and your spelling. Do this at least twice. It doesn’t matter if you’re not applying to an essay-based course – a personal statement riddled with spelling mistakes is just going to irritate the reader, which is the last thing you want to do. If this is something you find difficult then have someone look over it for you.
• Leave blank lines between your paragraphs. It’s easier for the reader to get through your personal statement when it’s broken into easily digestible chunks. Remember that they’re going to be reading a lot of these! Make yours easy to get through.
• Get someone else's opinion on your statement. Read it out to family or friends. Share it with your teacher. Look for feedback wherever you can find it, then act upon it.
• Don’t write it like a letter. Kicking off with a greeting such as "Dear Sir/Madam" not only looks weird, it also wastes precious space.
• Don’t make jokes. This is simply not the time – save them for your first night in the union.
• Don’t criticise your current school or college or try to blame teachers for any disappointing grades you might have got.
• Be afraid of details – if you want your PS to be personal to you that means explaining exactly which bits of work or topics or activities you've taken part in/enjoyed. It's much more compelling to read about one or two detailed examples than a paragraph that brushes over five or six.
• Just list what you're doing now. You should pull out the experiences that are relevant to the courses which you're applying to.
• Mention skills and activities without giving examples of when they have been demonstrated by you or what you learnt from them. Anyone can write "I have great leadership skills" in a PS, actually using a sentence to explain when you demonstrated good leadership skills is much rarer and more valuable.
• Refer to experiences that took place before your GCSEs (or equivalent).
• Give explanations about medical or mental health problems. These should be explained in your reference, not your PS.
• Apply for too many different courses, making it difficult to write a convincing personal statement which supports the application.
• Write a statement specific to just one institution, unless you're only applying to that one choice.
• Copy and paste the statement from somewhere else! This means do not plagiarise. All statements are automatically checked for plagiarism by Ucas. Those that are highlighted by the computer system are checked manually by Ucas staff. If you’re found to have plagiarised parts of your statement, the universities you apply to will be informed and it could jeopardise your applications.
• Use ChatGPT or another AI program to write your personal statement for you. Or, if you do, make sure you thoroughly edit and personalise the text so it's truly yours. Otherwise you're very much at risk of the plagiarism point above.

You may want to look at these...

How to write your university application.

Tips for writing your university application, including deadlines and personal statements

The Ucas personal statement is changing in 2025

A question-based personal statement will be required as part of university applications from autumn 2025 onwards

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It might feel like it's taking forever for your uni offers to come through. Find out what's going on, and when you should hear back

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

by Ruth Gotian and Ushma S. Neill

Summary .   

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

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Advice for Applying to Master's in Communication Programs

Admission Requirements for a Master’s in Communication Program

Advice for applying to master’s in communication programs, #1: every part of the application matters, #2: what schools look for in prospective students, #3: advice for completing your personal statement, #4: advice on requesting letters of recommendation, #5: apply early – do not wait to submit your application, concluding remarks.

Applying to a master’s degree program can be intimidating for even the most qualified individuals. These programs are often quite selective, with a strict list of requirements applicants must fulfill in order to be considered for admission. Typically, this means meeting certain thresholds in terms of past academic performance and professional experience, as well as providing thorough documentation proving one is a good fit for graduate-level instruction. Master’s in communication programs are no exception. Many have a rigorous selection process, and prospective students will need to stand out among their fellow applicants if they hope to be accepted.

In an effort to help students navigate the application process, and maximize their chances of admission, we spoke with faculty members from some of the top master’s in communication programs in the country to get their advice on the matter. They had plenty of tips to offer, including the top qualities to demonstrate in an application, what students should address in their personal statement, and how to best go about requesting letters of recommendation. Additional advice in this article comes from a panel discussion lead by four communication professors that took place during the Graduate Student Workshop at the Western States Communication Association’s 2018 annual convention in Santa Clara, California.

Read through all the advice these professors and faculty members had to share for applying to a master’s in communication program in the sections below.

The application process and admission requirements for a master’s in communication vary by program. In order to apply, students typically must complete and submit an application form to their school of choice, along with an associated fee, if required. Many programs only accept applicants with an undergraduate GPA over a certain threshold, such as a minimum cumulative GPA of 2.75 or 3.0. Most often, students are required to send in official transcripts from all previous postsecondary institutions to show they meet this GPA requirement or any other academic prerequisites. Along with this, schools may ask for a resume detailing relevant professional experience, and possibly contact information for one or more references.

Two major components required by most master’s in communication programs are a personal goal statement and letters of recommendation. The personal statement is a chance for students to discuss their qualifications and what they hope to achieve in the program, all while demonstrating they are adequately prepared for graduate-level study. This gives the admissions committee a better understanding of each applicant’s personality and passions, and ultimately, whether or not they would make a good fit for the particular program. Additionally, the personal statement essay provides applicants with a place to discuss any potential weaknesses in other aspects of their application, for example, their GPA or standardized tests scores. In certain cases, additional writing samples may be requested. Some schools also require an in-person, phone, or Skype interview with program faculty, or even ask students to record a video interview answering specific questions about their background and goals.

Along with a personal statement, it is common for programs to require one or more letters of recommendation as part of the application package. These are typically written by past professors or employers who can vouch for the applicant’s personal qualifications and aptitude. Depending on their particular focus, some programs may prefer or even require letters of recommendation from a certain type of reference. For example, programs designed to prepare students for doctoral studies in communication typically prefer recommendations from professors who can speak to an applicant’s ability to succeed at the graduate level. Whereas applied communication programs that require several years of experience often prefer recommendations from employers who can better speak to an applicant’s current professional strengths.

While some master’s in communication programs require students to submit GRE or GMAT test scores as part of the application process, many do not. Those that include the GRE as an admission requirement may also do so on a conditional basis, only requiring test scores from students who fail to meet other admission criteria, such as the minimum GPA threshold. Additionally, some programs might allow students to apply for a GRE waiver based on their professional experience or past academic achievements (such as already possessing a graduate degree in another field).

An example of a program that requires the GRE on a conditional basis is the Master of Science in Communication Management program at the University of North Florida (UNF), which asks applicants for standardized test scores if their undergraduate GPA is below a 3.0. John Parmelee, Ph.D., Chair of the Department of Communication at UNF, explains, “We are looking for applicants with a GPA of 3.0 or higher in all work attempted in the last 60 credit hours of undergraduate study. If it’s much lower than our usual standard of 3.0, applicants will need to provide additional evidence that they are ready for graduate school.” In this case, Dr. Parmelee says, “The additional evidence is their choice of one of the following: either a GRE score of at least 153 verbal, 144 quantitative or a GMAT minimum 500 total score.”

It is important that prospective students pay close attention to all admissions criteria when researching master’s in communication programs, as different program types and specializations may have different requirements. For example, academic or research-based programs, such as master’s degrees in communication studies or interpersonal communication, often require the GRE, while applied communication programs, which focus on career-oriented specialties like technical communication and strategic communication, generally do not.

Many programs also have selective admission policies, meaning that even if students meet the requirements for admission, they may not be accepted to the program. Some might be highly competitive, and only enroll a small number of students each year, which in some cases may be as few as six to 10. That means only a small fraction of the students who submit applications will be accepted to the program, so a particularly strong personal statement or letter of recommendation could be the difference between being accepted and not getting into the program.

When applying to a master’s in communication program, it is important that students place equal weight on every aspect of their application. Many of the professors we interviewed stressed that they evaluate applicants holistically, taking each component of a student’s application into careful consideration when deciding who to accept. As the Director of Graduate Study for the Department of Communication at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Leanne Knobloch, Ph.D. explains, “We evaluate students based on their application as a whole (taking into account undergraduate grades and coursework, career goals, research experience, personal statement, writing sample, GRE scores, and letters of recommendation).” She adds, “We are looking for students who are prepared for graduate-level work and have given considerable thought to their career goals. Ideal candidates spell out in their personal statement why they are interested in our department and how their interests fit with our expertise.”

We are looking for students who are prepared for graduate-level work and have given considerable thought to their career goals. Ideal candidates spell out in their personal statement why they are interested in our department and how their interests fit with our expertise.

Dr. Leanne Knobloch – University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Professor Wendy Zajack, MBA, Faculty Director for the Master of Professional Studies in Integrated Marketing Communications and Design Management and Communications Programs in the School of Continuing Studies at Georgetown University, echoes these statements. “We holistically review applications so we like to see a combination of things from our students,” she says. These include, “1) a good undergraduate academic performance 2) excellent and relevant work experience – we like to see at least a year of working experience (or amazing internships). We have an opportunity to submit work samples – so please do! and 3) an application that really helps us understand why our IMC program is of interest to you and fits your career goals. This could include looking through our list of courses and letting us know which ones you are excited about, as well as an explanation of your career aspirations.”

To help get a better understanding of both the program itself and what admissions staff look for in applicants, Bernardo Alexander Attias, Ph.D., Graduate Coordinator for the Department of Communication Studies at California State University, Northridge, recommends students reach out to school faculty early on in the research process. “It’s a good idea to contact the Graduate Coordinator to find out more about whether this program meets your needs,’ he says. “It’s important to understand what you want out of a graduate program before you decide which ones to apply to.” When it comes time to submit an application, Dr. Attias stresses, “It should be clear from your personal statement that the coursework and program that we offer helps you advance your own personal and professional goals.”

Simply meeting the admission requirements for a master’s in communication program may not always be enough to secure one’s admittance. As discussed earlier, these programs often have selective admissions policies, meaning students will need to submit a noteworthy application if they hope to be accepted. Many of the faculty members we interviewed made it clear they look for well-rounded applicants, who display not only academic prowess, but an excitement about the particular program of study and where it might take their career. This is typically communicated to the selection committee through the personal goal statement and any long-form questions on the application itself, as well as through interviews with faculty members, if required during the application process. In order to stand out from the other applicants, it is important to make sure every component of one’s application demonstrates they are ready and eager to succeed in the specific master’s program they are applying to.

According to the faculty members we spoke with, here are some qualities students should be sure to demonstrate in their application:

• A passion for academic endeavors (such as any extracurricular activities)
• Maturity and collegiality
• Alignment with program goals
• Readiness for graduate school
• Intellectual curiosity, inquisitiveness (a readiness to to think, not just read and write)
• Excellent writing skills

Athena du Pré, Ph.D. has reviewed countless applications in her role as Director of Graduate Studies in the Department of Communication at the University of West Florida. When it comes to choosing the ideal candidate, she says, “Our top priorities are evidence of academic or professional achievement and personal goals that would be well served by our curriculum.” Additionally, Dr. du Pré mentions her department looks for applicants who communicate well and show enthusiasm for the program. “We put a premium on good writing skills and inquisitiveness,” she adds. “Because this is an action-oriented program, we favor applicants who are interested in getting involved and being part of a team.”

Students who have a clear idea of what they want to do with their degree often make the best students and have the most success. An application that demonstrates both passion and clear goals gets noticed.

Dr. Rocky Dailey – South Dakota State University

This motivation to learn and excel, both in the program and professionally, is a major factor schools look for in master’s in communication applicants. Rocky Dailey, Ed.D., Online Graduate Advisor in the Department of Journalism and Mass Communication at South Dakota State University, explains, “We look for students ready to take the next step with their professional mass communication career, so we want highly motivated individuals who come in with some professional experience to build off of.” In their application, students should be sure to convey exactly how they plan to use what they learn in the program to further their careers after graduation. According to Dr. Dailey, “Students who have a clear idea of what they want to do with their degree often make the best students and have the most success. An application that demonstrates both passion and clear goals gets noticed.”

Meina Liu, Ph.D. is the Graduate Director for the Master of Arts in Communication Management Program at The George Washington University. She too stresses the importance of illustrating exactly how one’s goals align with that of the program. “The Graduate Studies Committee reviews applications by looking at the entire package rather than one specific aspect,” says Dr. Liu. “Our MA students come from a variety of academic backgrounds, including international affairs, economics, organizational sciences, political communication, strategic communication, mass communication, women’s studies, and so on.” No matter their particular background, Dr. Liu explains, “In general, applicants that articulate a good fit between their backgrounds/interests and what our program offers are given more serious consideration than those that write a generic essay. For example, a student who describes how the program’s course offerings may help advance his or her career goals is considered to have a stronger fit and motivation than a student seeking a career in journalism.”

Due to their often interdisciplinary nature, master’s in communication programs tend to draw applicants with a wide range of industry backgrounds. While professional experience is something selection committees consider when reviewing applications, they typically place less weight on one’s specific area of expertise, and more on what students hope to achieve through the degree program. Paula Weissman, Ph.D., Program Director for the Online MA in Strategic Communication at American University, says, “We take a holistic approach to reviewing applications. All factors, including previous academic experience, professional experience, letters of recommendation, and the personal essay are considered.” As for the ideal candidate, Dr. Weissman explains, “Some students already have substantial experience in the communications industry; others are experienced in other areas, but looking to make a career switch; and a smaller number are still quite early on in their careers. We look for strong students who have a demonstrated passion for learning more about strategic communication and clear career goals that align with our degree program.”

Above all, most master’s in communication programs are looking for students who display a passion to succeed both in and out of the classroom. This enthusiasm for learning and furthering one’s career is exactly what John McArthur, Ph.D., Director of Graduate Programs at the James L. Knight School of Communication at Queens University of Charlotte, hopes to find in applicants to the school’s online Master of Arts in Communication program. “At Queens, our typical students have a passion for the study of communication as a way to advance their careers in their selected industries,” Dr. McArthur explains. “We have a diverse mix of seasoned professionals who are advancing their careers and recent undergraduates who are just starting to find their place.” In his opinion, “The optimal applicant is one who can match his or her interests to the goals of our program and demonstrates the personal motivation to succeed as an online learner. Our students are practitioners AND scholars, concerned about their own development AND the development of their classmates, and ready to learn AND be a part of a vibrant community.”

One of the best ways applicants to a master’s in communication program can convey their personality, passion, and goals to the admissions committee is through their personal statement essay. This portion of the application is when students have a chance to show admissions faculty who they are as a person, and why they think they would make a good fit for the program. Transcripts and resumes only tell part of the story; schools want to know exactly what applicants hope to achieve through graduate study, as well as how these goals line up specifically with what their program has to offer. The personal statement essay is also an opportunity for students to display their writing skills, discuss any weaknesses in their qualifications, and elaborate on achievements or other elements of their background outlined elsewhere in the application.

Here are the top tips our interviewees had to offer for writing an effective and impactful personal statement essay:

• Be authentic
• Research the program
• Describe your goals
• Detail how the program will help you achieve them
• Be an excellent communicator
• Proofread carefully
• Demonstrate maturity

Before students sit down to write their personal statement essay, it is important that they have thoroughly researched the program they are applying to, and are prepared to explain exactly how the curriculum aligns with their academic and professional aspirations. Rebekah Farrugia, Ph.D., Graduate Program Director for the Department of Communication and Journalism at Oakland University, says, “We encourage students applying to our MA program to do their research and take their time when crafting their Statement of Purpose.” As for the essay itself, Dr. Farrugia stresses, “It should clearly indicate why they believe that they are a good fit for our program and how their interests and goals align with our program offerings.”

In your personal statement, tell us why you want to join our master’s program. Ours specifically, not why you want to join a master’s program.

Dr. Christopher Bell – University of Colorado Colorado Springs

Another faculty member we interviewed who emphasized the importance of proper research is Magdelana Red, Ph.D., who works as the Academic Director for the Master of Arts in Communication Management Program at the University of Denver’s University College. “It sounds simple, but I love to see applications that show how students see themselves contributing to and benefitting from the MA in Communication Management,” she notes. “A strong grasp of how they’ll fit into the program (or, how they’ll get the most out of it!) demonstrates that they’ve done their homework, see the unique value proposition that we provide, and are committed to making a contribution to our community.”

According to Christopher Bell, Ph.D., the Director of Graduate Studies in the Department of Communication at the University of Colorado Colorado Springs, there are several questions students should address in their essay to show they have done the research and truly believe the program is right for them. “In your personal statement, tell us why you want to join our master’s program. Ours specifically , not why you want to join a master’s program,” he explains. “What is it about our specific program that excites you? What do you plan to study, keeping in mind that’s often going to change over the course of your time here. Whom among our professors are you looking toward working with? What are your plans for after you complete the program?” Ultimately, Dr. Bell says, “We want to know who you are, what you want to study, and why you’re choosing us. That will help us determine if we’re also choosing you.”

When it comes time to craft the statement essay, Karrin Vasby Anderson, Ph.D. from Colorado State University Fort Collins, who spoke at the Western States Communication Association’s (WSCA) 2018 annual convention, says students should be authentic and use simple declarative statements, avoiding effusive language that may read as unprofessional. Along with tailoring their personal statement to the program itself, Dr. Anderson recommends applicants highlight their professional goals and ambitions, while describing in detail how the program will help them reach these objectives. Her fellow panel member, Teresa Bergman, Ph.D., a professor at the University of the Pacific, also stressed the importance of being open and genuine in one’s goal essay, even if that means stating you are unsure about your career aspirations, but excited and open to the possibilities the program might lead to. By being as honest as possible in their personal statement, applicants can better help schools determine if they would make a good fit for the program, or ultimately be unhappy in the course of study.

Robert DeChaine, Ph.D. from California State University, Los Angeles, another speaker at the WSCA convention, emphasizes that the personal statement essay should not just be a laundry list of talents or accomplishments. Instead, he recommends applicants provide an account of their personal interests and passions, and not try to impress admissions staff with their knowledge in the field. For many schools, the way in which the essay is written is just as important as the content itself. The fourth member of the Graduate Student Workshop panel, Margaret Pitts, Ph.D., who teaches at the University of Arizona, says students should strive to be concise and display excellent communication skills in their personal statement. In particular, she likes essays that directly outline the applicant’s direction, the types of approaches they will use in the program, and who specifically (i.e. which faculty members) they hope to work with during their studies.

Of course, several of the faculty members we interviewed also recommend applicants try to make explicit connections between their professional experience and the program itself in their personal essay. For example, Judy Foster Davis, Ph.D., Chair of the Faculty Committee for the Master of Science in Integrated Marketing Communications (IMC) Program at Eastern Michigan University, suggests students applying to the program “highlight their experience connecting with customers – such as any projects in which they created customer engagement by incorporating effective contact points that provide a setting for interactive communication; or created a seamless experience for customers to interact with a brand by melding elements of marketing and/or communication across various channels to act as one unified force.” In addition to this, she says, “Displaying their understanding of the importance of branding, customer relationships, public relations, and target marketing will make for a strong application.”

Graduate school is a significantly different experience from undergraduate. It requires dedication and focus. So we’re looking for students who are mature and committed to learning about human communication, have the intellectual capability for graduate-level work, and have the drive to grow into independent thinkers.

Dr. Hye-ryeon Lee – University of Hawaii at Manoa

Along with detailing any relevant work experience, students should use their personal essay to demonstrate they are adequately prepared for the rigors of a master’s program. Director of Graduate Studies and a Professor in the Department of Communicology at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, Hye-ryeon Lee, Ph.D. offers this advice, “In our program, we look at several key things. First, we’re looking at your academic capability,” she explains. “Graduate school is a significantly different experience from undergraduate. It requires dedication and focus. So we’re looking for students who are mature and committed to learning about human communication, have the intellectual capability for graduate-level work, and have the drive to grow into independent thinkers.” As for the personal statement, Dr. Lee says, “You want to describe the experiences you have had and your achievements that can give us the confidence in your intellectual capability to handle the courses and projects.” She adds, “Our program is also quite demanding, so you need to have that ‘fire in the belly,’ meaning that you really care about what we study, and about understanding human communication processes.”

For Dr. Lee, ideal candidates for UH Manoa’s Master of Arts in Communicology program are those that exhibit a genuine enthusiasm towards learning. “Whatever you can do to show that you have that passion and that you’re not coming to our program simply because you didn’t know what to do after graduation is helpful to illustrate in your application,” she notes. “You should show us that this field is something that is intensely interesting to you, and that you are ready to give your all to try to study and understand and further your knowledge about how human communication processes work.”

Above all, students should see their personal statement essay as a chance to speak directly to the program faculty evaluating their application. “For your personal statement, use it as your opportunity to really talk to the admissions committee,” says Cylor Spaulding, Ph.D., Faculty Director for the Master of Professional Studies in Public Relations and Corporate Communications Program at Georgetown University. “Our committee meets almost every week for several hours to sit down and go through the applications that have come in at that time. We try to get a sense of each person’s experiences, goals, work ethic, and personality as represented on the page. So, put your best foot forward in your personal statement.”

Dr. Spaulding also suggests prospective students use their personal essay to address any potential weak spots in their application. “I would say even if you had a bad semester at some point in your undergraduate career, address that in your personal statement. Explain to the committee what was going on, because we really do look at students holistically,” he says. “If you don’t have that background in public relations, it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. But make a good case for yourself as to why this is what you want to do. We want to see what the end goal is.”

My best advice… edit. Second best piece of advice… edit again.

Dr. Michael G. Strawser – Bellarmine University

Once the personal statement is complete, students should be sure to meticulously proofread their essay multiple times to ensure there are no mistakes or omissions. “My best advice… edit. Second best piece of advice… edit again,” says Michael Strawser, Ph.D., Director of Graduate Programs for the School of Communication at Bellarmine University. “Applications with typos, spelling errors and/or mechanical/grammatical mistakes show the committee a red flag.” A strong attention to detail will not only improve the overall quality of the essay, but show admissions staff that you are taking the application seriously, and diligent about getting a spot in the program. “I am a big believer (and I hate to be cliché) in grit,” Dr. Strawser adds. “Meaning, when I read your personal statement I want to know that you are passionate about communication and will persevere through the program.”

It is typical for a master’s in communication program to ask applicants to submit several references or letters of recommendation as part of the application process. This is so admissions staff can get a better idea of each student’s personality and work ethic from people who know them firsthand, as well as corroborate certain aspects of their academic or professional background. Positive recommendations that speak enthusiastically about an applicant’s strengths and potential, while reinforcing the qualifications outlined elsewhere in their application, can help bolster one’s chances of being accepted into their program of interest, especially if the selection process is competitive.

In most cases, these letters of recommendation come from either previous instructors or employers. Some schools might explicitly require one or the other, asking for academic references over professional ones, or vice versa. Others may prefer a certain type of reference based on the program’s focus or an applicant’s background. For example, if the person applying has been out of school for a significant period of time, a recent employer may be better able to speak to their qualifications than their last professor. On the other hand, academic or research-based master’s programs often prefer letters of recommendation from undergraduate faculty members as opposed to past employers. Students interested in applying to a master’s in communication program should reach out to admissions staff beforehand to find out which type of reference is preferred.

During the Graduate Student Workshop at WSCA, Dr. Anderson, Dr. Bergman, Dr. DeChaine and Dr. Pitts also had advice for students regarding letters of recommendation. Their advice is summarized below along with information from our faculty interviews.

To get the most effective recommendations possible, students should ask for letters from people they currently know, who can speak to the kind of person they are and work they are doing at the time of application. The faculty members we interviewed also stressed the importance of selecting references that can touch on personal qualities and refer to specifics in their reference letter, meaning they should be someone who knows the applicant well. “Good letters of recommendation from people who actually know you and your work always helps,” explains Dr. Spaulding from Georgetown University. “Generic letters of recommendation are fine, but they really don’t speak to your characteristics. So even if it’s not a professor, but it’s a supervisor or someone who knows you a little better and can actually speak to why this program is a good fit for you, and what you could bring to the program, goes a long way towards selling yourself in the application.”

I highly recommend that students form relationships with their instructors and maximize their efforts at the undergraduate level to ensure strong references when applying to MA programs.

Dr. Rebekah Farrugia – Oakland University

When requesting letters of recommendation from instructors or professors, it is important for students to choose faculty members they have a close relationship with, who can address their academic prowess and potential in detail. “I highly recommend that students form relationships with their instructors and maximize their efforts at the undergraduate level to ensure strong references when applying to MA programs,” says Dr. Farrugia from Oakland University.

One way to go about this is to approach professors and tell them you are considering pursuing a master’s degree, then ask if they would be willing to have a conversation about graduate school. Tell them what you hope to achieve through your master’s studies and ask questions about different program options or the admissions process. When it comes time to ask for a letter of recommendation, they will know more about you personally and hopefully be inspired to help. Additionally, while this may not be possible for every student, if you can find professors who know faculty at the programs you are applying to, their recommendations may carry more weight, as the admissions committee will know the quality of students he or she recommends. The same goes for recommendations from professors with connections to your school or program of interest, for example, an alumnus of the program who knows exactly what it takes to succeed in that particular course of study, and can discuss why you would be a good fit.

Finally, while this may seem obvious, be sure to ask any prospective reference if they can provide you with a positive reference tailored to you specifically, not just a generic or neutral letter of recommendation. If they are unable to do so, try another instructor or faculty member.

Whether academic or professional, Kevin Meyer, Ph.D., Graduate Coordinator for the School of Communication at Illinois State University, encourages students to seek out references who have gone to graduate school themselves, and understand the importance of a strong recommendation letter. “I generally advise applicants to seek letters of recommendation from those who have attended a graduate program themselves,” he says. “These letters from faculty tend to be longer and more detailed than those from other recommenders, often speak to the academic and scholarly potential of the applicant (something the selection committee wants to know), and carry the credibility of coming from someone who knows what it takes to succeed in graduate studies.”

In order to give program faculty ample time to review one’s application, students should be sure to submit their documents as soon as possible. Several of the faculty members we interviewed warned against waiting until the deadline, as it can be harder to stand out among the sea of applications submitted at that time. Furthermore, some master’s in communication programs have rolling admission policies. This means they accept applications over a long period of time and review candidates throughout, instead of waiting for a particular deadline to make their decision. In these cases, it is possible for the program to reach enrollment capacity even before the actual application deadline. Students who are accepted after enrollment is full for a given start date typically must wait for the next start date in order to begin the program.

According to Dr. Meyer, submitting one’s application materials early is important because it gives admissions staff more time to get to know a candidate. “I always encourage applicants to have their files complete and submitted weeks before the deadline,” he explains. “The more time the selection committee can spend with a file before being inundated with a stack of materials at the deadline, the more opportunity there is for committee members to fall in love with a file.”

MastersinCommunications.com wants to thank all of the faculty we interviewed, and Dr. Anderson, Dr. Bergman, Dr. DeChaine and Dr. Pitts for their excellent advice on applying to a Master’s in Communication program. We hope this article helps prospective students who are currently in the application process or considering a graduate program in the field.

CASPA Personal Statement Examples for Your PA School Application

• September 9, 2024
• Physician Assistant , Pre-PA/PA-CAT

The Centralized Application Service for Physician Assistants (CASPA) personal statement is your opportunity to explain the “why” behind your decision to become a PA. Talking about yourself can be challenging and uncomfortable, but this is your chance to be your own best advocate!

To help you get started, I recommend first checking out our other post, The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing an Impactful PA School Personal Statement which walks you through everything you need to know about how to write your CASPA personal statement.

Now, if you’re still wondering what a CASPA personal statement looks like, you’ve come to the right place! In this post, you’ll find two CASPA personal statement examples. As you read through them, put yourself in the mindset of the review committee. Do you know why this applicant wants to become a PA? Do you get a sense of who they are from what they’ve written? Would you invite them for an interview to learn more about them?

So with your review committee member hat on, take a close look at the following CASPA personal statement examples. We’ll review each, so you can see what they got right and wrong. 

Let’s get started!

CASPA Personal Statement Example #1

(Spoiler alert: Here’s what not to do!)

I would like to become a Physician’s Assistant because I believe it will provide an exciting opportunity to challenge myself further as a clinician. PAs are important members of the healthcare team that are able to expand access to healthcare. PAs work in many specialties and care for patients of different populations. PAs are able to work in both medical and surgical specialties and provide high quality care to patients.

I decided to pursue a Master’s degree in athletic training to combine my love of sports with my interest in medicine upon graduating from college. After completing my degree, I accepted a position at the Nemours Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children where I have held positions in both the Department of Therapeutic Services as well as most recently as a physician extender in the Department of Orthopaedics. Over the past too years I have worked alongside of Physician’s Assistants across many specialties. I decided I would like to purse a degree in physician assistant studies to expand my knowledge base, enhance my clinical skills, and take on a more advanced role in the care of patients as a PA in Orthopedic Surgery.

As an athletic trainer, I have developed my skills in the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of sports related injuries and general orthopedic conditions. I plan to become a PA in Orthopedic Surgery after graduation. Orthopedic surgery is an exciting field that utilizes PAs in many ways. I look forward to completing elective rotations in orthopedic surgery. The diverse opportunities within ortho, including the OR, the outpatient clinic, and the inpatient setting, particularly excites me about this speciality. I believe my education and experience has well-prepared me for a career as a Physician’s Assistant.

How did this student do?

The sample above is weak and highlights some of the “don’ts” to avoid when writing your CASPA personal statement. For example, “physician’s assistant” is not the appropriate title and should not be used. The proper title is physician assistant (or physician associate), and it usually isn’t capitalized. Be sure to use physician assistant or PA to demonstrate to the committee that you’re familiar with the proper title of the profession. 

Additionally, there are a couple of missed opportunities with the first paragraph. It’s dedicated to discussing what a PA does, rather than why the applicant wants to become one. Your CASPA personal statement is an opportunity to highlight why you would be a great PA, not to educate the review committee on what a PA does. Focus on you and your attributes rather than the role of PAs.

Additionally, there’s no hook. Your opening paragraph is the chance to get the reader’s attention and encourage them to continue reading. The first paragraph in this example fails to do that, and instead begins with a sentence about why the applicant wants to become a PA, then launches into a generic discussion about what PAs do.

This personal statement also focuses too much on one specialty . A PA education is broad and comprehensive. You want to demonstrate to the committee that you’re excited to learn about various aspects of medicine and that you appreciate the flexibility that comes with being a PA. While you might love orthopedic surgery, you need to show you’ll be interested and engaged throughout the program, not just on your elective rotation! 

Finally, there are grammatical and spelling errors throughout the essay. The personal statement is a chance to demonstrate your ability to communicate effectively and clearly. Always proofread for any errors, and it never hurts to have another set of eyes look over it as well! 

In summary, this wasn’t a very good CASPA personal statement, as it fell short in several important respects. Let’s try again!

CASPA Personal Statement Example #2

As you read this sample, think about what’s improved from example #1!

We often wait for that one, big, impactful moment—that occasion of divine inspiration where the future is clear and everything suddenly makes sense. I never had an “aha” moment when I decided I wanted to become a physician assistant. Instead, while working alongside PAs in my current role, I have had the opportunity to witness the millions of little impacts they have on patients, families, coworkers, and colleagues. Moments in time that often seem like routine parts of their day—moments of knowledge and problem-solving, moments of comfort and compassion, and moments of strength and understanding—that can impact someone’s life forever. It was these moments, added up over time, that inspired me to become a PA. 

And I believe it’s as a PA that I’ll reach my full potential, as it will provide an exciting opportunity to challenge myself further as a clinician. As an athletic trainer in the Department of Orthopedic Surgery at the Nemours Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children for the past two years, I have been able to witness firsthand how PAs are integrated into the healthcare system, and the important role they play in a healthcare team. It was through this work that I realized I would like to pursue a degree in physician assistant studies to expand my knowledge base, enhance my clinical skills, and take on a more advanced role in the care of patients. 

As an athletic trainer, I have been given a great deal of independence in terms of patient care, clinical decision-making, and interactions with other healthcare professionals. I pride myself on my ability to effectively communicate with patients, parents, and other members of the healthcare team. In my work, no two days are ever the same, and I am easily able to adapt to different situations. I believe the clinical skills I’ve acquired as an athletic trainer are critical to the successful care and treatment of patients and are not easily taught in a classroom setting. I developed them through the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of sports injuries and general orthopedic conditions. These conditions often require the attention of an entire medical team, and through coordination of care with other specialties I have been exposed to many other aspects of medicine. I have truly enjoyed being part of a team and gaining exposure to other branches of medicine, and becoming a PA will allow me to further explore other opportunities beyond the areas of sports medicine and orthopedics.

Finally, I also have a passion for clinical research and am interested in continuing to pursue this as a PA. I have collaborated with our physicians on multiple projects, asking clinical questions and developing studies to find answers to them. I believe research provides an avenue to further one’s clinical practice and actively learn more about how to optimize patient care. 

In summary, my education and experience has well-prepared me for a career as a physician assistant. I am excited by the prospect of making my own impacts on the lives of patients, families, coworkers, and colleagues. I believe that becoming a PA will lead me to many “aha” moments, and give me the chance to inspire these moments in others.

Of the two CASPA personal statement examples, this one is much stronger and highlights more of the “do’s” to include when writing yours. It focuses more on the applicant’s strengths, including both experiences and “soft skills,”such as communication and adaptability, rather than what a PA does.

It also includes an interesting opening that honestly explains why this applicant has decided to become a PA. The theme in the opening is then tied back into the closing paragraph, providing a sense of coherence and completion to the narrative. Finally, it uses the proper title of the profession and is free of grammar and spelling errors. This demonstrates attention to detail and professionalism, two qualities that are crucial to success in a PA program!

Main Takeaways: Communicate Your “Why!”

While writing the CASPA personal statement can seem like a daunting task, it provides an opportunity for you to reflect on why you’re applying to PA school. Why are you taking this next step in your education, career, and life? Why are you going to invest the time, energy, and financial resources to pursue this degree? Why will you be great at this? Embrace the chance to communicate your “why” to the committee, and you’re more likely to be accepted! 

I hope you found these CASPA personal statement examples helpful. Good luck with your applications, and reach out to Blueprint if you need any assistance. 💙

🩺 Want to make sure you’re prepped for PA school? Try out our  Pre-PA practice questions  from anatomy and physiology to medical terminology, professional practice, and more!

Or maybe you’re looking for more tips for PA school applications? We’ve got you covered! Check out these other posts on the Blueprint PA blog:

• Understanding PA School Acceptance Rates & Admissions

Questions to Ask PA Programs During PA School Interviews

• How to Write Standout PA School Supplemental Essays

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• Pre-Health Paths
• Pre-Medicine

Personal Statement

The personal statement accomplishes a variety of goals:

• It explains why you are choosing a career in medicine.
• It puts a "face" to your application.
• It helps medical schools understand your experiences, interests and values.

What Medical Schools Look For

• Evidence that you understand the realities of medicine.
• Your view on why you have chosen a career in medicine.
• Your life story - How did you get to this point?
• Your values/experiences - Why is medicine a good fit for you?

Common Pitfalls

• Writing only about medicine and not about yourself.
• Not giving yourself enough time to revise multiple drafts.
• Cutting and pasting the statement from a Word document into the application, which introduces formatting errors. Make sure to write statement in a text-only program like Notepad or directly into the essay.
• Not proofing the final draft carefully.
• Not being aware of the tone of essay; coming across as arrogant or entitled to a career in medicine.
• Relying only on your ideas of medicine and not showing how you tested your decision with experiences.
• Writing a personal statement that could apply to any applicant.
• Repeating information that can be found elsewhere in the application.
• Start early. If you procrastinate on a personal statement, you delay the whole application process.
• Overwrite at the beginning of the process. Any extra material can often be used in secondary applications and preparing for interviews.
• Edit the final draft to 5,300 characters (including spaces) for AMCAS statements (usually a page and a half single spaced).
• Personal statement workshops   are held in winter and spring quarters. They are designed to help you begin the writing process.   See our events page   for upcoming workshops.
• Individual advising appointments   are available for preparation and feedback.   Book an appointment to meet with an advisor .
• You can review examples of successful personal statements at the HPA office. They are available for viewing at the reception desk.
• Check out   Essay Workshop 101 on the Student Doctor Network   website for tips and considerations.
• If you need style help,   The Writing Place   can help with grammar and expression (but not with content).

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Media & communication personal statement example.

Throughout my volunteering experience in the heart of Kampala, Uganda, I dedicated my time teaching young, deprived and uneducated children as well as supporting the local community. It was then that I realised these third world social challenges were not being effectively expressed by the media. The vulnerable yet courageous individuals I worked with not only changed my perspective but motivated me to share my experiences with other people. It now therefore my aim to creatively broadcast key topical messages and raise awareness on a larger scale. I feel media is the method for doing this.

Before becoming inspired and stimulated by the world of media, much like the rest of society I was subconsciously part of it; the websites I read, the news that captivated me and the advertisements I capitalised in. However, becoming a media student and immersing myself within the industry enabled me to not only to see how and why the media did these things but meant I could interrogate what I was consuming and extend my insights into the world of human communication. I feel continuing media and communications at a degree level will not only provide me with a set of transferable skills but will equip me for a career in the industry.

My desire to peruse a media degree has been strengthened by my recent media visit to the city of Budapest. This led me to understand and critically examine how different cultures broadcast their media platforms. Visiting a Hungarian newspaper company gave me the opportunity to listen and question a range of journalists who lived through the communist period and were now applying modern communication styles to reach todays audiences with their writing. My commitment and desire for the subject has enabled me to explore the media industry through a wide range of approaches. Visiting film and TV sets has creatively inspired and encouraged me to incorporate my Fine Art A-level skills within the media sector, as I enjoy creating things for people to consume visually. Additionally, I have academically enrolled myself within taster courses at a range of universities which has prepared me for lecture style learning and given me an insight into university life.

However, what made me certain that I wanted to work in media and communications was my time at The Content + Connections Agency, Mediacom. My experience within the company allowed me to set goals and aspirations as I saw the sectors in the huge media agency as something I wanted to be a part of. Whilst here I was able to communicate with empowering females of the media industry such as the founder of the MOBO awards and previous CEO of the industry. Here is where I learnt about the development of the industry and gained advice on what skills I needed to progress in my chosen career. One skill I felt was vital in the industry was leadership and team work, I have developed both of these during my role as managing director for my class business as part of the Young Enterprise Charity. Having to take lead of a group of 20 other students has given me self-motivation and the ability to take the initiative whilst keeping everyone on track and making quick yet effective decisions. My role has also allowed me to hone my communication skills, not only within my colleagues but with outside business partners, other directors and authoritative figures within the industry.

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Author's Comments

Hi I'm applying to do media and communications at Newcastle, Bournemouth, Loughborough, Royal Holloway and Sussex.

Let me know what you think.

Davinia Fielding-Cooke

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