essay about a life lesson i have learned

Essays About Life Lessons: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Read our guide to see the top examples and prompts on essays about life lessons to communicate your thoughts effectively.

Jordan Peterson once said, “Experience is the best teacher, and the worst experiences teach the best lessons.” The many life lessons we’ll accumulate in our life will help us veer in the right direction to fulfill our destinies. Whether it’s creative or nonfiction, as long as it describes the author’s personal life experiences or worldview, recounting life lessons falls under the personal or narrative essay category. 

To successfully write an essay on this topic, you must connect with your readers and allow them to visualize, understand, and get inspired by what you have learned about life. To do this, you must remember critical elements such as a compelling hook, engaging story, relatable characters, suitable setting, and significant points. 

See below five examples of life lessons essays to inspire you:

1. Life Lessons That the First Love Taught Me by Anonymous on GradesFixer.Com

2. the dad’s life lessons and the role model for the children by anonymous on studymoose.com, 3. studying history and own mistakes as life lessons: opinion essay by anonymous on edubirdie.com, 4. life lessons by anonymous on phdessay.com, 5. valuable lessons learned in life by anonymous on eduzaurus.com, 1. life lessons from books, 2. my biggest mistake and the life lesson i learned, 3. the life lessons i’ve learned, 4. life lessons from a popular show, 5. using life lessons in starting a business, 6. life lessons you must know, 7. kids and life lessons.

“I thought I knew absolutely everything about loving someone by the age of fourteen. Clearly I knew nothing and I still have so much to learn about what it is like to actually love someone.”

The author relates how their first love story unfolds, including the many things they learned from it. An example is that no matter how compatible the couple is if they are not for each other, they will not last long and will break up eventually. The writer also shares that situations that test the relationship, such as jealousy, deserve your attention as they aid people in picking the right decisions. The essay further tells how the writer’s relationship became toxic and affected their mental and emotional stability, even after the breakup. To cope and heal, they stopped looking for connections and focused on their grades, family, friends, and self-love.

“I am extremely thankful that he could teach me all the basics like how to ride a bike, how to fish and shoot straight, how to garden, how to cook, how to drive, how to skip a rock, and even how to blow spitballs. But I am most thankful that could teach me to stand tall (even though I’m 5’3”), be full with my heart and be strong with my mind.”

In this essay, the writer introduces their role model who taught them almost everything they know in their seventeen years of life, their father. The writer shares that their father’s toughness, stubbornness, and determination helped them learn to stand up for themselves and others and not be a coward in telling the truth. Because of him, the author learned how to be kind, generous, and mature. Finally, the author is very grateful to their father, who help them to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear.

“In my opinion, I believe it is more important to study the past rather than the present because we can learn more from our mistakes.”

This short essay explains the importance of remembering past events to analyze our mistakes. The author mentions that when people do this, they learn and grow from it, which prevents them from repeating the same error in the present time. The writer also points out that everyone has made the mistake of letting others dictate how their life goes, often leading to failures. 

“… I believe we come here to learn a valuable lesson. If we did not learn this lesson through out a life time, our souls would come back to repeat the process.” 

This essay presents three crucial life lessons that everyone needs to know. The first is to stop being too comfortable in taking people and things for granted. Instead, we must learn to appreciate everything. The second is to realize that mistakes are part of everyone’s life. So don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you from trying something new. The third and final lesson is from Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” People learn and grow as they age, so everyone needs to remember to live their life as if it were their last with no regrets.

“Life lessons are not necessarily learned from bad experiences, it can also be learned from good experiences, accomplishments, mistakes of other people, and by reading too.”

The essay reminds the readers to live their life to the fullest and cherish people and things in their lives because life is too short. If you want something, do not let it slip away without trying. If it fails, do not suffer and move on. The author also unveils the importance of travelling, keeping a diary, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

7 Prompts for Essays About Life Lessons

Use the prompts below if you’re still undecided on what to write about:

As mentioned above, life lessons are not only from experiences but also from reading. So for this prompt, pick up your favorite book and write down the lessons you learned from it. Next, identify each and explain to your readers why you think it’s essential to incorporate these lessons into real life. Finally, add how integrating these messages affected you. 

There are always lessons we can derive from mistakes. However, not everyone understands these mistakes, so they keep doing them. Think of all your past mistakes and choose one that had the most significant negative impact on you and the people around you. Then, share with your readers what it is, its causes, and its effects. Finally, don’t forget to discuss what you gained from these faults and how you prevent yourself from doing them again.

Compile all the life lessons you’ve realized from different sources. They can be from your own experience, a relative’s, a movie, etc. Add why these lessons resonate with you. Be creative and use metaphors or add imaginary scenarios. Bear in mind that your essay should convey your message well.

Popular shows are an excellent medium for teaching life lessons to a broad audience. In your essay, pick a well-known work and reflect on it. For example, Euphoria is a TV series that created hubbub for its intrigue and sensitive themes. Dissect what life lessons one can retrieve from watching the show and relate them to personal encounters. You can also compile lessons from online posts and discussions.

If the subject of “life lessons” is too general for you, scope a more specific area, such as entrepreneurship. Which life lessons are critical for a person in business? To make your essay easier to digest, interview a successful business owner and ask about the life lessons they’ve accumulated before and while pursuing their goals.

Use this prompt to present the most important life lessons you’ve collected throughout your life. Then, share why you selected these lessons. For instance, you can choose “Live life as if it’s your last” and explain that you realized this life lesson after suddenly losing a loved one.

Have you ever met someone younger than you who taught you a life lesson? If so, in this prompt, tell your reader the whole story and what life lesson you discovered. Then, you can reverse it and write an incident where you give a good life lesson to someone older than you – say what it was and if that lesson helped them. Read our storytelling guide to upgrade your techniques.

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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A Life Lesson I Have Learned and How It Continues to Shape Me

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11 Most Valuable Lessons Learned in Life: Essay Ideas

Published on december 3, 2015 at 4:13 pm by caroline delbert in lists.

Every fall, teens applying to college ask themselves the same well-worn questions. Who is my best role model…in an essay of 500 words. What experience have I learned the most from…in an essay of 500 words. It’s common to ask high schoolers about life lessons, but what are the 11 most valuable “lessons learned in life” essay ideas?

For this list, I’ve mined life lessons from a variety of sources, from contemporary writers and motivational speakers like Ashli Mazer and Barrie Davenport to Jesus Christ, Jane Goodall, and Edward R. Murrow. New York Times readers offered their own best life lessons and so did a poll of 2,000 parents in the United Kingdom. Many lessons came up again and again and I’ve ranked them based on frequency, awarding 1 point for each of the nine total source lists where that lesson appeared.

moomsabuy/Shutterstock.com

I was pleased to see that clichés like “things happen for a reason” or “always smile” were not widely cited. Human beings are smarter and more complex than cross-stitch samplers. And there are plenty of less common life lessons that don’t make the cut for the 11 most valuable but are good to keep in mind anyway.

The wisdom of Jane Goodall encourages us to be kind to the Earth and ensure our legacy in caring for the environment. One New York Times reader gives the great advice to avoid con artists and egomaniacs — even if they’re related to us. Barrie Davenport reminds us that our children are their own people and need to have room to grow and be themselves.

Some of the less common life lessons are bittersweet, like learning about the luck of the draw and that time and forgiveness help to heal our emotional pain. Being honest with yourself is a great life lesson but one that is often the most hard fought. Life is not about money, but life without money is incredibly hard and limits our choices and opportunities.

Just barely missing the list were many important ideas worth mentioning, too. Manners go a long way. Choose a good life partner. Learn to get along and to resolve your differences. Maybe one of these lessons will spark a memory that you know will make a terrific essay even though it isn’t one of the most common overall life lessons.

I remember my alma mater offering a very welcome “none of the above” prompt on its application form, and I remember stopping short at an outlandish prompt offered by a very prestigious university. The college essay has almost become a parody, with prompts themselves joining in on the joke. (Maybe you remember Rory Gilmore realizing in horror that all her classmates had  also chosen Hillary Clinton as their role model topic — and she attended a school like one of the 10 most expensive boarding schools in the world .) But the college essay is real, and it’s required, and you have these role models, life experiences, or life lessons stored in your mind. They’re waiting to get out. If you’re someone with excellent prose, skip to the next part. If not… well, no need to wonder, “I need help to  write an essay for me ,” just seek online help from CustomWritings service. Time’s precious!

Just wait, though, because after you graduate from the college of your dreams, you’ll be faced with an interview question that makes every job seeker long for an insipid college essay prompt instead: What is your greatest strength, and what is your greatest weakness?

11. Learn from your mistakes — 5 points

There’s an old adage: “Never make the same mistake twice.” That advice isn’t always practical — you’ve probably Game Over’d many times on the same tough level, and eventually got through it. Learning from our mistakes isn’t instant or automatic, nor is it obvious what exactly we end up learning.

B Calkins/Shutterstock.com

10. Give back — 5 points

Western society can get very hung up on the idea that charity is a matter of money alone, but giving back is a huge category. Think about how you spend your time as well as your money, and think about how your extra resources could improve the lives of others or simply brighten their day.

9. Don’t judge — 5 points

This idea is so simple yet so challenging to really do. What other people do, say, or believe generally doesn’t concern you. More than that, as a few lists also included, we should mind our own business. In a time when the microscope of social media is always pointed at everyone we know, it takes guts to step away and not engage. That choice to accept-not-except stands out in the 11 most valuable “lessons learned from life” essay ideas.

8. Put yourself out there — 5 points

The barebones archetype of putting yourself out there is asking someone on a date. It’s nervewracking and feels just as terrible every single time you psych yourself up to do it. But putting yourself out there is more than just romance — it’s applying for a challenging job, making a new friend, taking an improv class, and so much more. Without risk there is no reward.

Slideshow be yourself Jesus Christ life lessons Jane Goodall List XFinance college essays New York Times the golden rule Edward R. Murrow best essay topics great essay topics college essay topics put yourself out there learn from your mistakes most valuable life lessons judge not lest ye be judged best application essay ideas when life gives you lemons make lemonade 10 Most Expensive Boarding Schools In the World 11 Most Valuable Lessons Learned in Life: Essay Ideas Show more... Show less

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Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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The Power of Self-Reflection: 35 Life Lessons I Learned by 35

by Jessica | Mar 14, 2022 | Lifestyle Design , Our Journey to FI | 2 comments

In early March, I turned THIRTY-FIVE. For some reason, this feels like a big milestone. I’m no longer in my early thirties. I am squarely in my MID-THIRTIES. 

On the morning of my 35th birthday, I realized that I’ve never reflected comprehensively on the lessons that I’ve learned. I’ve reflected back on things I’ve learned on an annual basis or another short timeframe. But, I’d never looked at my whole life. 

So, I decided that I was going to write a list of 35 life lessons I learned in my 35 years on earth. I can’t wait to share them with you.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Before I share my 35 life lessons, I want to share a little bit about why reflection is so valuable. To be clear, I did this simply because I wanted to .

Afterward, I was curious to learn why reflecting on our experiences is so valuable. Perhaps articulating the why will encourage you to do your own reflection. 

Reflection Requires us to Slow Down and Become More Self-Aware

Slowing down to take a moment of reflection can make a huge difference in your day. In fact, there was a study that showed that people who were prompted to use their commute time for reflection were happier, more productive, and less burned out.

Slowing down allows us to improve our self-awareness. When we celebrate our successes and learn from the things that didn’t go as well as we’d like, we become more self-aware. We learn who we are, what we want, and what’s important to us. Being more self-aware leads to higher levels of fulfillment in our lives.

Reflection Allows us to Connect the Dots and Facilitates a Deeper Level of Learning

If we don’t reflect on the things that we learn, we will have a much harder time incorporating these things into our daily life. Or, we might forget them entirely.

Think about a time you read a book, attended a workshop, or had a helpful conversation with a mentor. Do you remember thinking, “This is good… I need to remember this?” But, looking back, you realize that you don’t remember a single thing. 

I’ve been there too. This is why reflection is so important. 

Reflection “ gives the brain the opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and make meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions.”

When we reflect on the things we learn, it allows us to put that learning into practice and take action. Without that, it’ll remain an idea that becomes fleeting and fades away. 

Once we connect the dots through reflection for ourselves, it allows us to help others. Without processing something ourselves, we can’t put it into practice. If we don’t do that, it’s unlikely that we’ll be able to articulate the important learning that could help someone else.

Reflection Encourages us to Question our Assumptions

If we don’t reflect on our experiences, it’s likely that we’ll move through life without questioning our assumptions . “ This is just the way things are,” we might think. 

Once we take time to step back and reflect on our experiences, it allows us to both identify and question the assumptions about what we believe is true.

Before I started my FI journey, I was in a dark place. I knew I was unhappy with my life, but I assumed that it wasn’t worth thinking about. After I started to step back and reflect on my life, I identified that this was an assumption and decided to question it. 

Why did I believe that it wasn’t worth thinking about?

My initial thought went something like this, “ It’s not worth thinking about because there aren’t any other options. Thinking about it will prove that to me and just make me more disappointed and miserable.”

Then, I was able to ask myself, “ But, is that actually true? Are there truly no other options?”

When I learned about financial independence, I knew that this assumption wasn’t true.

Now, I know that I can build financial freedom and use it to design a life I love long before retirement . Without reflection, I would have never realized this. 

Reflection can also help us to question the assumptions (or limiting beliefs ) we hold about ourselves.

When we think, “I could never do that,” or, “I’m not _______ enough,” reflection allows us to question those assumptions. We can ask:

• Why do I believe I could never do that?
• What if that weren’t true?
• What evidence do I have that it isn’t true?

It also allows us to start focusing on possibilities. We can ask:

• If I wanted to do that, what would it require?
• What resources (time and money) would I need?
• What skills would I need to build?
• What relationships would I need to seek out? 
• What don’t I know about this? How could I answer those questions? 

Reflection allows us to articulate what we actually believe so that our assumptions don’t hold us back. 

35 Life Lessons by 35

Reflecting on 35 life lessons that I learned by 35 was an incredibly valuable exercise. It allowed me to:

• Identify the most important things I’ve learned (even if I learned many of them the hard way).
• Articulate what I’ve learned, so that I’m more likely to remember and put it into practice in the future. 
• Question my assumptions.

For most of these life lessons, I could write an essay on what I used to believe and how that differs from what I now believe . In fact, I’ve started doing this on my Instagram . This was all a result of questioning assumptions.

Here are my 35 Life Lessons by 35:

• I am not my job. My identity is much bigger than my job title or how much money I make.
• The goal is not to escape from work. It’s to design a life I don’t want to retire from .
• It’s possible to love your work . Even so, it doesn’t have to be my whole life. 

Personal Growth

• I deserve to thrive . We all do.
• Being honest about what’s not going well is the first step to making it better.
• I get to create my own definition of success . To me, success means that I know what I value, and I have time and energy to devote to those things. 
• Enjoying the journey is more important than the outcome. If I won’t enjoy the process, maybe it’s time to find a new goal.
• I don’t need to take big scary leaps. I am not a wimp if I don’t live by the belief that “ if I leap, the net will appear.” I can build my own net. Through experimentation , I build my confidence and increase my chances of success. Then, each step forward feels like a logical next step. 
• We all have the capacity within us to do just about anything. The best question to ask is, “How could this be possible?”
• Embedding myself into a supportive community is the most important thing I can do to achieve any goal. 
• My inner critic does not have the final word.
• I am a resourceful problem-solver. I can work through any challenge that comes my way.
• It’s possible to have too much grit. 
• When I write, things stop swirling around in my head, and I get clearer about what I believe and want. 

Health and Wellness

• I want to pay attention to how I actually feel rather than how I think I should feel. 
• All of my emotions are valuable. I don’t need to run away or try to change negative emotions. They are trying to communicate something valuable to me.
• Being anxious all the time is not “normal.” There are things that can help (medication, therapy, mindfulness, and skill-building). 
• The purpose of self-care is never to adjust to oppression. It’s to get us to a place where we can address the situation or get out . 
• I want to fill myself up so much that kindness and generosity can overflow to the people around me. 
• Being healthy and pain-free is more important than having lots of money.
• Maintaining mental and physical health (and preventing issues) is way easier than recovering from issues.  
• Building financial freedom provides me with more options and more power , even though I still need to generate income. 
• Spending less money means I can work less. 
• I can spend money on things that add value to my life and feel great about it.
• Having money doesn’t make me a good or a bad person. It’s simply a tool I can use to express who I truly am.
• Investing in myself, my health, and my growth is important. I’m worth it .

Boundaries and Limits

• I can both care about what’s going on in the world and protect my peace. In fact, protecting my peace is a necessary part of caring. 
• The best self-care is subtraction. 
• Having more stuff adds more stress to my life.
• Routines and habits don’t limit my freedom. Organizing my life makes my life better, more creative, more spacious, and more fun. 
• I don’t need to be busy to feel important or valuable.
• I say “no” to the wrong things, so I have space to say “HELL YES” when the right thing comes along. 
• Each person gets to choose their unique path based on their situation and desires. It is not my job to tell them what they should do. Not is it their job to tell me what I should do.
• Clear communication is a kindness to people around you. Then, they don’t have to guess where your boundaries are.
• If someone isn’t receptive to my boundaries , they don’t deserve my time.

Building a Reflective Practice Into Your Own Life

If I had decided to sit down and write out my life lessons 5 years ago, it would have been a lot harder . At the time, I didn’t have a regular reflection practice. In fact, I didn’t really like my life at the time, but I didn’t realize there were other options. I actively ran away from reflecting on my life because I thought it would just make me more disappointed and miserable. 

I want to encourage you. There are other options. You can build a life that you don’t feel like you need to escape. You can change your external circumstances. And, you can cultivate an inner sense of joy that will help you regardless of your circumstances. 

One way to get started on both the external and internal work is to build reflective practice into your own life. 

Here are some tips and ideas if you want to start your own reflective practice.

Identify important questions you want to answer.

As part of my morning routine on a daily basis, I ask myself, “ How am I feeling today?” This is an important practice for me. My assumption is that I deserve and want to feel good. So, if I’m not feeling good, what can I do today that will help with that? This helps me pay attention to what’s going on in my life day-to-day. 

Another idea is to reflect on different areas of your life. I do this a few times each year. I reflect on what’s working and what isn’t working in my work, finances, health, relationships, growth, and fun. This allows me to reset and make changes that will help minimize things that aren’t working and do more of what is. I offer a free worksheet if you’d like to try out this reflection.

FREE WORKSHEET

You could also choose to reflect on a variety of questions:

• What would I do if I didn’t need to work for a living?
• What do I truly love to do? 
• What matters most to me? 
• If I found out that I reached FI tomorrow (through some weird turn of events), what would I change about my life? Could I start working toward these changes before FI? 
• What do I want to do every day? Every week? Every month? Every year?

There are so many different things you can reflect on. In fact, I’m currently taking a writing class that provides me with weekly writing prompts to reflect and explore a different area of my life. 

Choose a Medium for Reflection that Will Work For You

There are many different options, and I’ve done so many of these. The important thing is to do them consistently.

Options include:

• Talking with a friend or mentor
• Working with a therapist or coach

I also find that writing publicly has really helped me reflect on what I’m learning. It’s one thing to write things down in my journal. I get to a deeper level of clarity when I need to write something down in a coherent way that can be understood by someone else. 

Schedule Time

Whenever we are trying to create a new habit, it’s important to create an implementation intention . Without that, it’s likely that we’ll get to the end of our week or month and wonder, “ Why didn’t I do that?”

You’ll want to ask yourself the following questions: When will you do it? How long will you reflect for? What questions will you focus on answering?

Once you answer these questions, you can actually schedule time for yourself. When creating a new habit, it’s also important to remember that you don’t have to go zero-to-sixty right away. You don’t need to sit down and reflect for 2 hours. You can set aside 10 minutes. And then, you can set aside another 10 minutes on another day. Start small and build up from there. 

Set a Timer

Once you actually do sit down for reflection, one valuable tool at your disposal is a timer. I know that reflection is an important practice for me, but I sometimes have a lot of resistance to actually doing it. 

I immediately want to be doing almost anything else. I keep picking up my phone out of habit. Sometimes, I would rather clean my entire house than reflect.

To help me work through the resistance and keep the distractions at bay, I often will put my phone on airplane mode and set a timer. This way, when I inevitably pick up my phone at least once during the reflection time, it’ll prompt me to set it back down and go back to my reflection. 

Self-Reflection is an Important Step Toward Designing a Life You Love 

Taking time to reflect on what we actually want is incredibly important. It helps us to become more mindful of our thoughts and feelings. It allows us to understand the differences between what we think we should want and what we actually want. Similarly, it allows us to focus on how we actually feel rather than on what we think we should feel in a given situation. 

Being able to tell the difference between wants and shoulds is an important step toward building a life you truly love.

What kinds of self-reflection do you already practice? What are the biggest life lessons that you’ve learned through self-reflection?

Related posts:

• What We Learned From Our Van Life Experiment
• The Power of Accountability When Designing Your Life
• What We Learned in our Second Year of Pursuing FI
• What We Learned In Our Third Year Pursuing FI

“The goal is not to escape from work. It’s to design a life I don’t want to retire from.” These are words of wisdom right here!

If you design your life where your work are things you enjoy, you can definitely live a very very happy life (which at the end of the day is the ultimate goal we all aim for). And I think in the FIRE community – we focus so much on money that we forget that life is the thing we live, and money is just something we need to have to sustain our life. Oftentimes, we overlook the primary objective (good health and happiness) in order to optimize the means for it (money).

If you’re one of those people that like the “game of money” and can be detached from tying money to your identity, and play that for fun and doing that makes you happy, by all means go hard on the work you love and enjoy. But I think for most people, money is a means to an end, so it’s important not to maximize your income at the cost of happiness, because then you’ll always want to escape your work and life is very painful.

Love all of your lessons Jessica! And very practical suggestions. Thank you for sharing.

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15 Powerful Lessons I’ve Learned From Life

There are so many powerful lessons we all learn from life. I personally made a list with some of the most important ones so far, lessons that had a great impact on my life.

Powerful Lessons Learned from Life

These 15 powerful lessons have helped me become the person I am today. I know there are more to come and I am ready, opened and receptive to them all.

1. We get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us.

The first of the many powerful lessons learned from is this: people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.

2. There are no mistakes, only powerful lessons we need to master.

If you learn from everything that happens to you, you will discover that there is no such thing as mistakes, only powerful lessons to be learned. Ans if you don’t, chances are that your life will look at 40 the same way it did when you were 20. And at 60 the way it looked when you were 40…

3. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

“Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, to be at peace, to be happy and to be able to sleep at night. You don’t forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on resentment will you be happy. If you hold on to poisonous thoughts like hate, anger, and resentment toward someone, you will end up poisoning yourself more than you poison the other person, and you will be very unhappy.” ~ 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

4. What you resist, persists.

What you focus on expands and what you resist, not only does it persist, but it also grows in size. And if you want to shrink something and make it disappear from your life, you need to stop feeding it by fighting against it.

5. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.

  A lot of times we get so focused on our big dreams and goals, that we forget to enjoy this journey called life. Always remember that life is all about this moment. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.

So take a deep cleansing breath and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life – to observe the world around you, the people present in your life and the beauty that is present within and all around you…

6. People deserve a second chance.

Here’s another one of these powerful lessons learned from life:the moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day.

Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you? We are all humans, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance, and why not, maybe a third, fourth, a sixth and a seventh…

7. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.

Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will. You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world.

8. Our attitude toward life will determine life’s attitude toward us.

If you think life is unfair, and that bad thing always happen to you, chances are that life will treat you unfairly, and you will always have many reasons to complain about.  Because just how there is a law of gravity, there is also a law of attraction, and based on this law, you attract in your life that which you think about all day long, you attract that which you are, because you see, like attracts like. This is one of the many powerful lessons I have learned on this journey called life.

9. If you love yourself, chances are that others will love you also.

It’s all about self-love, it all starts with self-love. If you don’t have the love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.

10. The world has plenty of information but not enough inspiration.

If you think about it, now with the technological revolution, we get access to so much information. Let’s take for example a tiny chip. How much information can you store on it? Isn’t it incredible? We have more information than ever… but when it comes to inspiration (in- spirit) I would say that we have a deficit.

We focus too much on the outside and not enough on the inside. We can’t seem to understand that it all starts from within. If the inside is a mess, the outside will also be a mess. Listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and know that: “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein

11. The world won’t change if you don’t change.

You hear people all the time complaining about how crazy the world is and how they want it to change, but if you tell them to make the first step…: “ What? Me? Do you think there is something wrong with me? I am perfect, there is nothing I need to change. These people are crazy and they need to change, not me! They are the ones who are destroying us all, not me… Those bastards!” 

You see, the outside world is a reflection of who we all are on the inside, and all this madness that is taking place around us, is a result of our collective consciousness, and unfortunately, it’s a very polluted consciousness.

It’s not just them, it’s us, us all. If we want the world to change, we have to start with ourselves and trust me, there is something wrong with many of us. With you, with me, with he and she…

12. Loneliness is different from solitude.

There is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude. When you are in solitude, you take advantage of it to get in touch with your inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear. Wayne Dyer talks about this in such a wonderful way, saying that we can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with.

If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people. Another one of the 15 powerful lessons learned from life this far.

13. The more we express our gratitude, the more things we will have to be grateful for .

The law of attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.

14. Patience is a virtue.

In order for things to happen, in order for anything to happen, we need to be patient. We first plant the seed of greatness and then we wait for it to grow, we allow it to grow; we take care of it and we protect it. Great things take time and we need to learn how to give time, time.

15. Courage is not the absence of fear.

Here is the last of the many powerful lessons learned from life. Fear, that crazy fear who won’t allow us to move forward, who won’t allow us to grow and transform our lives and of those around us will always be present in our lives. Even though many of us know that fear does not exist and that fear is only in our mind, we choose to be paralyzed by it and we choose to allow it to control our lives, our dreams, our goals and the level of our happiness. 

Fear will be present whenever you want to stretch, whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone and whenever you want to do more, be more, have more. What we need to do is look beyond it,  and always be aware of the fact that most of the things we fear never happen, because FEAR is nothing more than False Expectation Appearing Real.

~love, Luminita 💫

What is one lesson you have learned from life that completely changed and transformed you? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂

Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of PurposeFairy.com and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy . For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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15 Life Lessons I Have Learned From Experience & Experts

This is the blog’s first post in 2019 and so, I wanted it to be full of good advice, straight from the heart and intensely focused on helping my readers one way or another.

So, I ended up writing about the lessons I have learned from experience and experts. It’s life advice I have received from people I admire and respect. I enjoyed writing it and hopefully, what I have shared will someday come to your rescue when you find yourself confused, lost, and unable to make the right choice.

15 life lessons I have learned from experience and experts

1. your greatest power is in your ability to find joy in your own self.

I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. Henry David Thoreau Tweet

My mother often complains that I have become too self-contained and self-sufficient and yet, I feel as if I have never found more comfort in the presence of my loved ones than I do now.

I feel that it’s down to the fact that I no longer carry any insecurities or doubts about my own worth. There is no desperation to be prioritised over everyone else. All of this happened gradually after I learned to find joy in my own company.

When I am with people, I don’t use them as a means to escape boredom. It’s because I truly want them around and they all know it.

This ability has also taken away the fear from most of my decisions. I know that if I fall, I’ll pick myself up without help and maybe I’ll be winded and a little broken, but I’ll still find the strength to move forward.

2. Mind and Body- You can't nurture one while neglecting the other

A healthy mind can’t exist in a perpetually exhausted body or one that’s riddled with sickness, and a healthy body will be fairly useless without a healthy mind to steer it.

So, if you think you can create a healthy, happy life with a healthy diet and exercise while your mind is clinging to old resentment and bitterness, you cannot be more wrong. You may create a beautifully fit body but you’ll never have the strength that comes from having a truly resilient mind free to love and forgive.

Related: The Best Self-Care Products For A Healthier Mind & Body

It has been said before that when you forgive others, you let go of a lot of physical aches and pains. It’s all connected.

Louise Hay’s book, You can heal your life talks about how physical healing can be found in positive affirmations and self-love.

Related:   How to use affirmations effectively?

3. God/Universe doesn't give us more than we can handle

We are often put through times of trial when it feels as if everything is against us and we will surely break. In my experience, things will always turn around before you reach your breaking point. God will only give you pain you can endure, but he will push you far enough for you to be surprised by your own strength.

Don’t ever be afraid of the difficult times. Fight with grace and believe in your heart that your creator is taking care of you. The same goes for the rewards in our life. We pour our heart and soul into something but it still doesn’t turn out the way we want it to. More often than not, it’s because we’re not yet ready to handle the reward with grace. We may want it but the achievement of our desire may do us more harm than good.

4. Don't ever let the learning stop

A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge. George R. R. Martin Tweet

If you don’t want to stagnate, learn a little every day. No matter how good you are at what you do unless you’re adding to your skills, you run the risk of getting left behind.

Dedicate an hour to reading every day. Make it a habit, and you will find your mind growing in knowledge and strength. Believe it or not, books really do make the best companions.

Related: Lessons For Success From Napoleon Hill’s book, Think And Grow Rich

5. Denying access to toxic people is an act of kindness towards your own mind and soul

People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely. Hans F. Hasen Tweet

There are moments in our life that determine the very course of our existence. For me, one such moment was when I decided to deny access to certain family members and friends. As I looked back over my interactions with these people, I realised that I had put up with so much emotional abuse at their hands that it was honestly nothing short of cruelty. One that I had, unknowingly, condoned.

Related: Understand and Identify signs of an Emotionally abusive relationship

It was a very hard decision to make and it was followed by a painful period of self-recrimination, doubt, and finally, a whole lot of crying that ended with me reaching a place of utter certainty that I was making the right choice. I didn’t care what I had to go through after that, I stuck to my decision. I am happy to share that I have never had cause to regret it. In the following weeks, I noticed the change in myself and so did others. It was like freeing myself of a heavy chain that was slowly cutting into my flesh. So, this is a piece of wisdom acquired through bitter experience.

Get rid of those who bring you more pain than joy. Shut out those who push you into doubt and don’t cheer for you in your moments of triumph. If someone leaves you hurt, aching, and exhausted, show yourself a little kindness and let go of them. What you allow is what will continue, and at the end of the day, the state of your life is your own responsibility.

Related:  How A Victim Mentality Can Destroy Your Life? 5 Steps To Go From Survivor To Fighter

6. Gratitude is the key to happiness

The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. Tweet

Start and end your day with a heartfelt ‘thank you’, and no matter the state of your life, you’ll never have a reason to be sad or angry. Actively practising gratitude allows us to stay calm and find moments of joy even in the midst of overwhelming chaos and stress. You can achieve every desire you’ve ever had, but if you’ve not learned to be actively grateful, you’ll never be truly happy.

7. Always listen to your instincts

Freud tried to make the world see just how influential and important our unconscious is. He believed that the unconscious holds the answer to every question that plagues us, and now, we have so much research that substantiates the claim. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs have openly declared that it was the connection they established with their subconscious and the guidance they received from it that helped them achieve their success.

When it comes to people, job offers, travel decisions, my gut instincts have never steered me wrong. So, I advise you to listen to that voice within.

Trust your hunches. They are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. - Dr. Joyce Brothers Tweet

8. Make meditation an integral part of your daily life

If we’re to believe that our subconscious has all the answers then, meditation is the instrument that can help us hear our subconscious without external noise interfering with the experience.

Related:  The Best Guided Meditations Available On YouTube

Apart from that, no matter how great your life is, the world moves at a pace that necessitates an internal calm. In an attempt to keep up with the madness, sometimes we give in to the chaos. This is why a simple meditation practice can be of great help to you. It will allow you to focus your thoughts and energy. Whenever you need to, you’ll be able to retreat within yourself to a place of calm.

Related:  Six Alternatives to Meditation with Similar Benefits

9. Win the morning, win the day

If you are one of those people who like to complain about never having enough time, the issue is with how you plan your mornings. The situation probably isn’t that simple but I bet, most of it can be resolved by a more productive start to the day. I don’t mean getting most things done in the morning, but giving your day the kind of start that positively impacts the entire day.

Related:  7 ways a morning routine can transform your life

This could mean different things to different people. I like to start my morning at 5 am with a long walk, exercise, meditation, journaling, shower, prayer. Then, I go over the tasks for the day. I arrange them in the order of priority, and after breakfast, I start going through them one after the other. The first three hours of my morning have nothing to do with my to-do list and yet, it’s these hours that help me achieve my daily goals. So, give yourself an early start. Don’t laze around and do something that corrects the energy balance in your body, pumps you up with positivity and helps bring the day’s plan in focus.

Related:  The Ultimate Guide to a Daily System for Higher Productivity

10. Caring about the opinions of others is the most spectacular waste of time

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches. - Dita von Teese Tweet

Live your truth! I have said that so many times, I feel like it should be emblazoned across my face. I implore you to NEVER do ANYTHING to look good or impress someone. Don’t ever emulate anyone’s idea of perfection if it means denying your own truth.

It could be something as simple as the car you drive and as complicated as your religious beliefs. So, if you like driving a pink car with peacock feathers stuck to the bonnet then, by all means, do that! If you’re an atheist living in the most god-fearing community known to man then, brace yourself,  gather your strength, declare your truth, and get ready for a fight. It won’t be easy but this is THE ONLY way to live a life of true joy and contentment. The day you stop giving a f*ck about what anyone thinks of you is the day you’ll experience true freedom and the world really will be your oyster.

Also, in case you haven’t already noticed, it’s impossible to please everyone. As Dita Von Teese said, if someone is so inclined, they’ll somehow find you lacking in some way.

11. No decision should ever be made out of fear

There are plenty of reasons not to do something, fear should never be one of them. You may not see it in the moment but every time you kill a dream because you are too afraid to bet on yourself, it takes a little bit away from your character.

Related:  7 ways to overcome fear & pursue your dreams

Someday, when you’re done with the push & shove of life, you’ll look back and realise just how little you actually lived. You’ll end your days struggling with regret over all the lost opportunities knowing you’ve become a caricature of the man/woman you used to be. I don’t mean to be so gloomy but it’s the biggest fear of my life. I am intent on being a cantankerous old woman sitting smug and happy with a life well-lived.

12. Be careful of the company you keep

It is better to be alone than in the wrong company. Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl but if you associate with eagles you will learn how to soar to great heights. Tweet

It doesn’t matter how strong minded you are, if you spend most of your time surrounded by people interested in little more than the coming Friday fun, you’ll eventually lose your drive and settle for what you can get with minimum effort. Spend your time with the doers and the dreamers of this world and people who push you to be better every day.

13. Vague goals lead to vague results

It makes so much sense that I am surprised it has to be said at all. Except, a lot of us miss this rather obvious truth. I used to be one of those people. If you can’t clearly visualise your goal, describe it to others, and plan it with complete mental clarity, your chances of success are fairly slim.

Get clear on your goals. Get down to specifics, and the very nitty-gritty of your plans.

14. You can't negotiate love. People love differently and to their own capacity

It happens to all of us. People in our life love us, just not the way we want to be loved. So, we bargain and plead. There’s crying and yelling and sometimes, things change. Everything is as we want it to be but the change never lasts. Because a love that has to be negotiated will never survive the bumps.

Here's the solution-

When you find yourself actively wanting someone in your life, instead of focusing on your own needs, try to understand them better. Find out who this person really is, their past experience with relationships, and their own capacity and inclination to love. Sometimes, it’s not that the other person isn’t doing their best. It’s just that their best is not good enough for us.

If a person that loves intensely falls for someone incapable of deep emotions, one of two things will happen. Either this person will settle for being the lover in the relationship or s/he’ll walk away.

Related:  3 Keys To A Healthy Relationship

15. When nothing makes sense, focus on someone else's pain

If you ever find yourself grappling with your place and purpose, shift your entire focus to someone less fortunate. There are times when life takes turns that leave you winded, confused and scared. In those moments, go to the nearest orphanage. Plan a trip to a country in dire need of volunteers. Pour your heart and soul into bringing laughter to someone who has known nothing but pain.

As you do that, you’ll either find the answers you are looking for or you’ll be so grateful that every breath will be an answer in itself.

I really hope that this post helps you in moments of darkness. We are all a work in progress, and it’s okay to lean on each other’s strength. I am not very wise but what I do know, I happily share on this blog.

I would like for you to do the same. So, if you’ve any advice for me, let me hear it. Use the comment section below or drop me a message.

The Brain Behind The Blog

Hi i'm krati mehra.

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Home — Essay Samples — Education — Class Reflection — What I Have Learned in Class

What I Have Learned in Class

• Categories: Class Reflection

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Published: Sep 16, 2023

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Table of contents

1. the importance of critical thinking, 2. the value of effective communication, 3. the power of adaptability, 4. the joy of lifelong learning, 5. the impact of diversity and inclusion, 6. the significance of resilience, 7. the role of passion and curiosity.

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A Journey To Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself

23 Valuable Life Lessons for 2023

I always appreciate the beginning of a new year because it is essentially a clean slate. We can hit the restart button on everything, including:

• our problems from the previous year
• all the things we said we were going to get done and didn’t
• anything that’s caused us turmoil

At this point, it’s become a tradition of mine to list the valuable lessons I learned at the end of one year that I will take with me to the next year. If you are interested in seeing my lessons from 2022 and 2021, you can find them here:

• 2022 Life Lessons
• 2021 Life Lessons

Without further ado, let’s get started!

1) Love is a choice

The concept of love always confused me.

• How do you know when you are in love?
• What makes you love somebody?
• Once you love somebody, can you stop?
• Is it possible to think you love somebody, but you don’t? Why?
• And so, so many more questions that ran through my mind concerning love…

However, after being in a loving and (my most) healthy relationship for all of 2022, I’ve been able to do a lot of reflecting on what love truly is. And I’ve come to a probably unsexy conclusion about it…

Love is a choice.

Just like I realized happiness is a choice , so is love. Your actions determine if love lives on or if it ends .

While I do think there are many things that can lead to love, ultimately staying in love is a decision we all make every day. So, every choice you make is for or against love.

“Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling – it’s a deliberate choice – a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health.” -Seth Adam Smith

2) Every conversation is an opportunity to learn

You never know what you will discover when you give somebody your undivided attention and approach each conversation with a learner’s mentality.

How often when having a conversation with someone do we half-heartedly listen to what they are saying because we are too busy waiting for them to finish so we can speak?

Even if somebody is discussing a topic you think you know very well, there is still an opportunity to learn. They may mention something you didn’t know from a perspective you never thought about before.

“Part of my own personal growth has involved deciding that I can learn something from even the most annoying person.” -Oscar Auliq-Ice

3) Someone else’s actions shouldn’t determine yours

Don’t fight fire with fire. If someone does something wrong to you, it does not give you the excuse to do something wrong back.

This doesn’t only apply to “bad” people. A good friend might cancel plans last minute. There is no need to be revengeful and purposely cancel plans on them the next time. Or if you are fighting with your significant other and they say something hurtful, that doesn’t give you the excuse to say something hurtful back.

We can all be the bigger person. Don’t let someone else’s actions bring you down to their level.

“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

4) Aim for flexibility in life

People love money, right? Well, not really. They love the flexibility that money can provide them.

More money = less worry + more options

If there is one thing the pandemic taught us, and the quote-on-quote end of the pandemic has made me realize, it’s that flexibility is one the most important treasures of life.

Not just the flexibility of working from anywhere in the world, but being flexible in all aspects of life. To go with the flow more.

More flexibility typically results in less stress, more freedom, and a more enjoyable overall life.

“Be stubborn on vision but flexible on details.” -Jeff Bezos

5) Money doesn’t define you

Speaking of money, it does not define who you are. We have all met people who flash around their money and the possessions they own because of that money. They are letting money define them.

The problem with letting materialistic things define you is that you can easily lose it all tomorrow. And what if you did? You are going to have a real identity crisis.

Again, money is great to have for the flexibility it offers. But define yourself from your morals, ethics, actions, and hobbies. Not from your bank account.

“Money doesn’t make you laugh when you’re lonely.” -Roxanne St. Claire

6) You will never be perfect, but you can always improve

This is really the point of my entire website. Still, it is important enough that it is worth the constant reminder.

Self-improvement is a never-ending journey . There is no final destination. You cannot “complete” it. But you can always strive to be the best version of yourself every day, and that is pretty awesome.

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” -Mark Twain

7) Being healthy feels great

Both mentally and physically. Taking time for self-care is extremely important for mental health. Having days of rest , meditating , and other self-care tactics are crucial to avoid burnout and falling into unhealthy habits or coping mechanisms.

Taking care of your body is extremely important as well. While the past few years I’ve really focused on my mental health and forming great habits around that, this year I made sure to prioritize my physical health as well. I lost 30 lbs, am working out consistently, rarely drink, and am in the best shape of my life. Not only do I look great, but I also feel great!

Make sure to prioritize both. Starting may be difficult but you will feel 100x better once you do.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live in.” -Jim Rohn

8) It is ok to “quit”

I hate to call it quitting because in my mind that’s not what it is. I’m talking about leaving something that no longer serves you.

What was important to you a few months ago may no longer feel that way. Don’t stick something out that has no benefit to you anymore just because you don’t want to be labeled as a “quitter.”

It’s not quitting, it’s adjusting goals and priorities.

“Success does not lie in sticking to things. It lies in picking the right thing to stick to and quitting the rest.” -Annie Duke

9) It’s never too late for a fresh start

Seriously. It doesn’t matter if you’re 7, 17, or 77. It’s never too late to try something new or start over.

“Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.” -Stephen King

10) Physical violence is not the answer

Outside of self-defense as a last resort, there is no good reason to get physically violent with someone.

You may feel that someone deserves a good punch in the face, but that is not your job.

Let karma serve them.

“I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.” -Mahatma Gandhi

11) Seek out social interactions

This has been a strange year for me. I’ve admittedly been a bit of a hermit crab this year, by choice.

Doing so lined up with my personal goals so I don’t regret it – but it did make me realize how much I miss and enjoy social interaction, even as an introvert .

Find ways to be more social, it will make you happier. You can:

• Use Meetup or local Facebook groups to find people with similar interests.
• Talk to strangers until they become friends.
• Reach out to friends you haven’t seen in a long time.
• Plan events to see friends more often.

“Humans are social beings, and we are happier, and better, when connected to others.” -Paul Bloom

12) Living with a partner requires sacrifice

It will mess up your routine in the beginning. You will have a certain way of doing things that she does differently. It will take a while to sync up.

Once you start to figure it out though – it can be great. You always have your best friend by your side, you get to wake up together, you get to help each other and make each other’s life easier.

Just make sure you are prepared!

“You can sacrifice and not love. But you cannot love and not sacrifice.” -Kris Vallotton

13) Some lessons you need to learn multiple times

I do not go back to read previous year’s lessons when putting together my 2023 list. This is on purpose, as I want my lessons to be authentic. This means it is totally possible some lessons might be repeated from previous years.

Some lessons I forget; some need constant reminders to apply. Re-learning lessons helps you remember them.

“Life is such a great teacher that when you don’t learn a lesson, life will repeat it.” -Anonymous

14) There is a universal language

There is a language that everybody in this world speaks.

It’s how you can communicate with somebody who doesn’t speak a lick of English.

Our body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, and tone of voice give off so much more than our words do. And this is coming from somebody who loves words and writing.

The universal language goes even deeper than that though. It is spoken from the soul.

When you realize there is a universal language in this world that flows through all of us, it’s a very empowering and uniting feeling.

“The universal language is not texted, email, or spoken. It is felt.” -Angela Ahrendts

15) Nobody wants to feel wrong or dumb

Two good rules to live by when having conversations:

• Don’t make the person feel like they are wrong
• Don’t make the person feel like they are dumb

Pretty simple, right? Well, easier said than done.

Try to word things in a way that shows appreciation and finds common ground. This is how you will get people to be more agreeable and like you. Not by calling them out or (un)intentionally belittling them.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” -Dale Carnegie

16) The small things matter

Writing 200 words a day isn’t sexy. It wouldn’t make headline news and you wouldn’t brag about it. But after one year, you’d have strung together enough words to have an all-time best-selling book.

The small decisions that you make every day end up defining your life in a big way.

“Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = RADICAL DIFFERENCE.” -Darren Hardy

17) Trust is delicate

Trust is hard to get but easy to break. Make sure when somebody gives you their trust you take good care of it. Once you break it, it’s not very easy to glue it back together. And even if you do, it’ll never be exactly the same.

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack.” -Lady Gaga

18) If something is important to you, you will make time for it

If it’s not, you won’t!

It’s really that simple.

It’s easy to make excuses that we don’t have time to work out, or we don’t have time to write that book. But if you decide it is a PRIORITY, you will make time for it.

Life is all about prioritizing what is important to us and putting our energy and focus into those things. The things we don’t do, simply aren’t as important to us.

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” -Stephen Covey

19) Goals require sacrifices

This year, I decided to get into the best shape of my life. Not only did I want to get into fantastic shape, I decided I wanted six-pack abs. Anyone who knows even a little bit about working out knows this is not easy. It takes a lot of strict dieting, discipline, and willpower.

In my quest for this goal, I made A LOT of sacrifices. I sacrificed enjoyable and tasty (yet unhealthy) foods. I sacrificed drinking; going out with friends; saying yes to social events. The list goes on.

Depending specifically on what you want, you will know what the sacrifices will be. You must decide if the sacrifices are worth it or not. But if you really want it, they probably are.

“Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice.” -Napoleon Hill

20) Not everyone is like you

It’s easy to think that because we do something a certain way, everyone would or should do it that way as well. But that’s not true.

Not everyone thinks the same way as you.

Not everyone acts the same way as you.

Others may not have the same discipline you do. Or maybe they’re not as ambitious, helpful, and tolerant as you are.

And that’s totally fine . If we expect everyone to be like us, we will get frustrated. But when we learn to appreciate somebody’s differences and learn from said differences, we will be much happier and more accepting.

“Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things your believe, nor acts the way you would act. Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.” -Arthur Forman

21) Preparation is key

Nobody has ever blamed their failure on being overprepared.

If you take the time to properly prepare for something beforehand, it makes the actual task much, much easier.

For example, I decided that I want to start waking up at 5 am. I’ve never been a “morning person” before, so I knew it would be challenging.

I did a lot of preparation beforehand so that I would not fail and hit the snooze button once 5 am rolled around.

Before beginning, I planned out my entire morning routine so that I would not have to think and make choices in the morning because this causes friction.

Then, I planned out my entire night routine so that everything I needed in the morning would be easily accessible and prepared.

I created a google sheet for each day of the week for my routines (gym days vs. non-gym days), so that I could just read off the list and do everything in the allocated time.

It’s almost embarrassing to admit how much I prepared for simply waking up a few hours earlier consistently. But, I haven’t missed a day yet and it’s all thanks to my preparation.

“Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.” -Confucius

22) Discipline is a life hack

What is the key to success? One of my most popular posts is How to Become the Greatest of All Time where I talk about 3 main criteria: Starting, Consistency, and Persistence.

The truth is, none of that is possible without discipline.

You need discipline to be consistent. You certainly need discipline to be persistent when things get tough.

If you can form the skill of discipline in life, you have found a superpower.

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” – Abraham Lincoln

23) Smell the roses

Finally, enjoy life.

Use your PTO to take a vacation from work, without checking emails. Have that “cheat” meal (it’s not really cheating) . Go out with your friend when they spontaneously invite you.

Admittedly, I’m still trying to take my own advice on many of these. But I do wake up every day and take a moment to appreciate how beautiful life truly is. From nature, to loved ones, to the smell of my coffee in the morning.

And if you take nothing else from this list, I hope you do the same. Appreciate the beauty of life, each and every day.

“Lighten up. Just enjoy life. Smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.” -Kenneth Branagh

What’s a valuable life lesson you learned this year? Is there anything on the list you agree or disagree with? Let me know in the comments or directly at [email protected]!

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• Speech Writing /

Speech On The Best Lesson I Have Learned

• Updated on  
• Nov 21, 2023

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.’ – Helen Keller. School and college students are often given assignments to write speech on the ‘Best Lesson I Have Learned’, their personal experiences, and differences in understanding things. Students often deal with many situations, most of which they have never experienced before. The best lesson for a student can vary, depending on their situation, hobbies and interests , and willingness to learn new things. As students, most of us are like a blank canvas, easily dyed into any color. Best life lessons teach us how to deal with ourselves and the people around us. Let’s dive deeper into this concept and learn more about the ‘Best Lesson I Have Learned Speech’ for students.

Table of Contents

• 1 10 Best Life Lessons Students Must Learn
• 2 1-minute Speech on the Best Lesson I Have Learned
• 3 Speech on The Best Lesson I Have Learned
• 4 Popular Quotes on Life Lessons

‘The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.’ – Unknown

Also Read: 160+ Best and Easy English Speech Topics for Students

10 Best Life Lessons Students Must Learn

Here are the 10 best life lessons students can learn. Feel free to use them as examples in your speech topics.

• ‘There will always be someone who disagrees with your views.’
• ‘You are stronger than you think.’
• ‘Life is not fair and prepare yourself for the worst.’
• ‘Surround yourself with positive people for a better future.’
• ‘Time is the most precious resource.’
• ‘Observe others and learn from their mistakes.’
• ‘Learn to let go.’
• ‘Loneliness is different from solitude.’
• ‘Patience is the key to success.’
• ‘You can achieve everything with experience and patience.’

Also Read: Speech On Benefits of Yoga  

1-minute Speech on the Best Lesson I Have Learned

‘Hello and welcome to everyone present here. Today, I’ll be talking about the best lesson I have learned in my life.

‘I think the best lesson I learned was about my creative writing skills when I was in 8th grade. There was an inter-class essay writing competition, where we were told to pick any topic related to our academics.’

‘I wrote an essay on the Advantages and Disadvantages of Social Media . My teachers appreciated my writing skills and how I elaborated on real-life experiences. Social media is a tool which needs to be used only as a source of information and entertainment.’

‘We all must understand what makes us unique and how far we can go to make ourselves the best version of ourselves. I know it takes a lot of hard work and deliberate practice to do so, but even more important than that is to know who we really are. I once read a quote, that says, ‘We all have two lives; one when we are born and the other when we realize what we are meant for.’

Also Read: Pros and Cons of Online Learning Speech

Speech on The Best Lesson I Have Learned

‘My fellow classmates and teachers, I welcome you all today where I’ll be representing myself on the best lesson I have learned speech. Life is a rollercoaster; we get knocked down, learn from our mistakes, gather the courage to stand up again and the cycle goes on.’

‘The best lesson I have learned is the power of resilience. The ability to bounce back from setbacks, face adversity with courage, and continue moving forward is a skill that has transformed my perspective on life.’

‘I once faced a seemingly impossible obstacle where I felt like the world’s weight was on my shoulders, and the road ahead was shrouded in darkness. I almost gave up before realising my true strength; resilience that allowed me to endure, adapt, and ultimately overcome.’

‘Resilience is not the absence of challenges but the courage to confront them head-on. It’s the understanding that failure is not a destination but a stepping stone towards growth. Each setback, every stumble, and all the seemingly impossible moments became opportunities for self-discovery and improvement.’

‘Learning things requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace discomfort. I learned that setbacks are not indicators of inadequacy but invitations to evolve. The process of overcoming challenges instilled in me a newfound confidence—a belief that I possess the strength to navigate the unpredictable currents of life.’

‘Not only this, it also taught me the importance of a positive attitude. Maintaining a hopeful outlook and focusing on solutions rather than problems can make all the difference in the face of adversity. Resilience, coupled with optimism, becomes a potent force that propels us forward, even when the path ahead seems arduous.’

‘Facing adversity with unwavering optimism can help us realise our true potential.

Thank you.’

Also Read: Speech On ‘If I Had A Superpower’ For Students

Popular Quotes on Life Lessons

Here are some popular quotes on life lessons we all must know about. You can use them in your academics or real-life situations.

• ‘Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.’ – Roy T. Bennett
• ‘In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.’ – Robert Frost
• ‘Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.’ – Allen Sanders
• ‘The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.’ – Ralph Waldo Emerson
• ‘Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.’ – Confucius

Ans: Here are some of the important lessons students must learn; ‘You are stronger than you think;’ ‘‘Life is not fair and prepare yourself for the worst;’ ‘Surround yourself with positive people for a better future;’ ‘Time is the most precious resource;’ ‘Observe others and learn from their mistakes;’ and ‘Patience is the key to success.’

Ans: Best life lessons teach us to become the best version of ourselves. What we were and what we want for ourselves, can be distinguished from the best life lessons we learn. These lessons can be learned from multiple sources, but learning from personal experiences is the best way to learn about ourselves.’

Ans: Life teaches us lessons like life is not so fair, we will get knocked down multiple times before standing on our feet, people around us will try to drag us down, nobody is coming to save us, we are our own ally, what we dream for ourselves will only be fulfilled by our own work.’

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For more information on such interesting speech topics for your school, visit our speech writing page and follow Leverage Edu .

Shiva Tyagi

With an experience of over a year, I've developed a passion for writing blogs on wide range of topics. I am mostly inspired from topics related to social and environmental fields, where you come up with a positive outcome.

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