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39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing

Plus, tips on writing and delivering a humorous speech that won't come off as a roast.

Photo by Abby Jiu Photography

In This Article

If you've been asked to give a wedding toast , it's important to recognize what a big deal this is. The couple must think very highly of you if they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of everyone they love on such a special day. Now that you recognize what a tremendous honor this is, you might be feeling a bit nervous about your new role as reception orator. Where should you begin planning your speech?

The most important thing to know about wedding speeches —whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or a parent—is that the best ones are both heartfelt and humorous. Another key feature of a perfect toast? It should be under five minutes. Now that you have the length down, you can start penning your toast by doing a deep-dive into your own memories of and feelings about the couple. For most people, those heartfelt bits come easily. It's the other half of the speech—the funny half—that tends to be tough to write. After all, coming up with zingers isn't a skill that we all naturally possess. So, to help you out in the laughs department, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes below.

Feel free to borrow with abandon and mix them up as needed—whatever it takes to make your speech really shine!

Photo by Twah Dougherty Photography

Funny Wedding Toast Ideas

Whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or groom, these one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some chuckles.

"What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!"
"May your children be blessed with rich parents."
"The couple asked that I don't share any embarrassing stories today... so that's it for me! Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you."
"Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory."
"May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom."
"Our happy couple really struggled to find someone to give a speech today. They asked their most attractive friend first, and they said no. Then they asked their smartest friend, who also said no. After that, they went to their funniest friend, and the answer was still no. So then they asked me, and I couldn't turn them down for a fourth time!"
"Remember: In life there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox—duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck."
"May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
"May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall."
"As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
"Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!"
"Let me leave you with one piece of advice. Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: They also chose you. Cheers!"
"Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?"
"The couple has amazing taste, don't you think? I mean, we can all agree that they did choose the absolute best speaker tonight!"
"May the most you wish for be the least you get."
"May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."

Photo by Jose Villa

Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast

Use these humorous bits to offer the newlyweds wisdom and advice with a wink in your toast.

"The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
"We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
"Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash." — Dr. Joyce Brothers
"Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason
"A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." — Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." — Charles Schulz
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger
"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
"If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married." — Unknown
"Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." — Unknown
"If at first you don’t succeed...try doing it the way your wife told you." — Unknown
"Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally
"The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." — Mac MacGuff in Juno
"A man is incomplete until he's married. After that, he's finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Love is sharing your popcorn." — Charles Schultz
"Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." — George Burns
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
"Love is a lot like dancing; you just surrender to the music." — Pierce Brosnan

While quotes are great, keeping your wedding toasts personal or even providing quotes you remember from the couple getting married is always a good choice.

Photo by Les Loups

Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast

A funny wedding toast is a great way to keep everyone engaged; guests (especially after a few drinks at cocktail hour) don't always have the best attention spans for long, emotional speeches. A toast that's light, short, and appropriately funny is the recipe for one attendees will remember—and for all the right reasons. Just be sure to follow a few important tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a funny wedding toast.

Avoid too many inside jokes.

Have you ever been out with a group of friends and experienced everyone laughing about something that makes absolutely no sense to you? If so, you know that there's no worse feeling than being on the outside of an inside joke. While it's perfectly fine to include a few lines that make sense to just a few people in attendance, it's important to ensure that the vast majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list.

Don't poke fun at the happy couple.

Remember that this is a toast, not a roast. It's best to be humorous but not mean-spirited or cruel. You want guests to laugh with you instead of at the happy couple, so avoid anything that feels as though you're mocking the newlyweds. Sharing funny stories and musings is a better course of action than retelling every embarrassing story you know about the bride or groom.

Be sure to strike the right balance between funny and serious.

While you don't have to pair every funny line with something more sentimental, it is nice to ensure there's a good mix of content in your speech. Balance all that (tasteful) humor with more serious sentiments—how much you love the couple, what their bond has taught you about happy relationships, and your hopes and dreams for their long, happy future together—and you've got a guaranteed hit.

Have someone else vet it.

Who can forget that scene in Wedding Crashers where Rachel McAdams thinks she's written the world's funniest speech and Owen Wilson kindly tells her to speak from the heart instead? While you might think you've penned a winner, it's best to let someone you trust weigh in before you take it to the crowd. Be open-minded about their feedback and willing to adjust if they note any major red flags.

Practice, practice, practice.

Your speech might be rock solid, but if you're tripping over every word or rushing through what you've written, guests will never know how great it is. Though definitely don't have to memorize it, you should practice it a few times through to make sure there are no clunky phrases or tough to pronounce words. Nail your timing and make sure you give your jokes a little breathing room for laughs, too.

The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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45 Short, Funny Wedding Toasts & One Liners

There won't be a dry eye in the room from all that belly laughing once you start landing a few of these hilarious wedding toasts

Tash Busta Photography

Got funny bones and need to brighten up the end of a wedding speech? F unny wedding toasts are the perfect way to get a giggle at the end of a speech or reading, and we've got all the best ideas here for you.

Whether you're giving a best man speech , a groom's speech or you're a parent of one of the newlyweds, most people who give a wedding speech will end with some form of toast - so why not make it a funny one? You're going to need some pretty hilarious one liners to guarantee belly laughs, and that's where we come in.

Parents and friends of the couple will generally toast to the happy couple - and brides or grooms giving toasts will often toast to their partner. Whether you’re giving a speech on your own wedding day or the happy couple have asked you to say a few words, you’ll want to round things off with some wedding toast humour.

45 Funny Toasts & Toast Jokes for Your wedding Speech

No matter what role you're playing in the wedding party (if any!), as these short funny wedding toasts are all easily adaptable and will all get a good laugh from the guests. Read on for the best funny wedding toasts and and toast jokes to add to the end of your speech.

In a hurry? Skip to the section you need and find the perfect funny wedding toast below.

Funny Wedding Toasts and One Liners
Funny Marriage Toast Examples

Short, Funny Wedding Toasts to End a Speech

Funny Wedding Toasts and One Liners

To ensure your funny wedding toast packs a punch, you want to keep it short, snappy and most importantly...funny!

1. "Before you marry a person, you should first watch them use a computer with slow internet - that'll show you who they really are."

2. "All you need is love...but a takeaway now and then doesn't hurt!"

3. "My advice? Don't ever laugh at your partner's choices, because you were one of them!"

4. "You were married by a judge - you should have asked for a jury."

5. "Marry someone your own age because as your beauty fades, so will their eyesight."

6. "Marry an archaeologist - the older you get, the more interested they become in you."

7. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage...and as soon as I learn it, I'll get married again."

8. "As Dr Seuss once said, 'We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love'."

9. "Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'Accept' button any time something pops up on your computer screen. You just do it despite having no clue what it actually means."

10. "You know you're killing it at the whole marriage malarkey when you ask your partner to pass you 'the thingymajig' and they know exactly what you mean."

11. "We're gathered here today to honour something that is so truly magical, special and wonderful. Of course I am talking about that cake !"

12. "True love does not come from finding the perfect person, luckily for you guys."

13. "I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

14. "May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom."

15. "Congratulations on the termination of your isolation, and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population."

16. "Here’s to you and here’s to me, I hope we never disagree. But if, perchance, we ever do, then here’s to me, to hell with you."

17. "May our children be blessed with rich parents, and my looks!"

Hitched Tip: When ending with a one-liner, you want to make sure the delivery is sharp and the comedic timing is spot on. Ensure it's the last thing you say in your wedding toast to ensure you end on a hilarious high.

Funny Marriage Advice for Wedding Toasts

What's a funny wedding toast without some funny marriage advice for the newlyweds, hey? These marriage toast examples are perfect to be used by friends or family of the newlyweds, offering a bit of loving advice from you, to them.

18. "I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are lame."

19. "To the happy couple. May you share everything in life, especially the housework."

20. "May neither of you ever lie, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. If you must cheat, cheat death, and if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"

21. "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."

22. "The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret."

23. "Getting married is easy! Sundays in Ikea are when it starts getting really tough."

24. "Marriage is a wonderful thing entered by two people. One who can't sleep with the window shut, and the other who can't sleep with it open."

25. "Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park"

26. "Marriage is not just an emotional connection, it's also about remembering to take the bins out."

27. "To keep a marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, when you are wrong, admit it, and when you are right, shut up!"

28. "[Insert name] was incomplete before he/she got married. Now they're married, they're finished."

29. "Love is blind, but marriage, marriage is the eye opener."

30. "Now for some advice from me. The secret to my happy marriage is dinner twice a week. My partner goes on Tuesdays and I go on Thursdays."

31. "In the words of the great Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf."

32. "And now for my final words of advice, if at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way [insert partner's name] told you to do it."

33. "Love is like toothache - it doesn't show up on an X-Ray, but you know it's definitely there..."

Hitched Tip: To make these marriage toast examples more personal, try adding in something relevant to the couple. For example, the Sundays in Ikea toast could be made more bespoke by replacing the word 'Ikea' with their favourite shop - maybe they're Home Bargains fans or love a bit of Lidl?

If you're wondering how to end a speech, these funny wedding toasts and one liners are bound to help. Remember to introduce the next person as well if someone is speaking after you!

34. "Time to raise our glasses to the happy couple because I like both of you - do you have any idea how rare that is?"

35. "Before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. You’re now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!"

36. "Now let's toast to the two secrets to a happy marriage. Humour and short-term memory."

37. "Before we raise a glass to the newlyweds, I’d like to share a Pauline Thomason quote with you: ‘Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener.’ To the happy couple!"

38. "To marriage - the only war where, once a month, you sleep with the enemy."

39. "For one more time, I’m going to ask everyone to charge their glasses and – for those who still can – stand, and raise a glass to the newlyweds."

40. "Raise your glasses and join me in congratulating you the happy couple on the huge mound of debt they've just acquired from throwing this wedding!"

41. "May you raise your glasses to marriage and the sacred bond between two people, and let me be clear…I said ‘sacred’, not ‘scared’."

42. "To love, laughter, happily ever after - and to these two beauties who paid for the free bar!"

43. "So finally, a toast to the happy couple. Thank you for buying us all dinner today, so kind of you."

44. "I'll end this toast with my best advice - never go to bed mad. Instead, stay up and fight it out."

45. "Raise a glass to the happy couple. May your marriage be as strong as the drinks in your hand. Cheers!"

Hitched Tip: Remember to introduce the next person as well if someone is speaking after you! Give the guests enough time to giggle at your toast joke and then introduce whoever is following you, unless you're the last to go.

If you like these funny quotes, you’ll love our favourite funny wedding readings and these totally inappropriate (but hilarious) wedding songs .

30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

Bride gives speech Olga Hogan Photography: Hannah & Eoghan

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

wedding speech opening lines funny opening lines sincere opening lines (9)

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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The Best Wedding Speech Ideas We've Seen on TikTok

Maid of honor giving speech at wedding reception

Sarah is the Entertainment & Celebrity Editor for The Knot, with special focuses on pop culture and celebrity wedding news.
Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Sarah was a contributing writer for Bravo at NBC Universal.
Sarah has a degree in journalism and resides in New York City.

Giving a wedding speech is one of the biggest honors you can have as a family member or close friend of the newlyweds. While toasts commonly occur during the wedding reception, some couples may ask you to prepare a few words for additional events too, like the rehearsal dinner or the ceremony. Whether you're a seasoned speechwriter or you're preparing your first ever wedding toast, it can be hard to determine how to accurately convey your thoughts and well-wishes for the couple. Giving a great speech requires thoughtful planning before the big day. And if public speaking isn't your thing , you might be searching for wedding speech ideas to inspire your own.

Luckily for you, there's plenty of speech help online—especially on TikTok. The Gen Z-favored video-sharing app is a wealth of wedding inspiration, especially when it comes to toasts. If you haven't found yourself on "WeddingTok," there are thousands of videos of bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents and friends giving standout wedding toasts . And if you're trying to write the best wedding speech for a special couple, we're here to help. Below, we've rounded up our favorite wedding speech ideas we've seen on TikTok. Whether you're writing a best man speech , a maid of honor speech , or a toast for your child, these heartfelt videos will give you plenty of inspiration. Once you've narrowed down the kind of toast you want to give, use our ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech to create a script that'll bring the house down.

Open With a Joke

@thatawkwardteacher how to make a bride instantly regret making you her maid of honor #moh #mohspeech #weddingtiktok #wedding #foryou #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Cassie

There's no better way to break the ice than with a lighthearted joke to get the crowd warmed up. You don't have to be a standup comedian to think of a groundbreaking joke either. Instead, steal a line from this maid of honor speech , which starts off with an apology (and a hair flip) for the guests who don't have the privilege of knowing the speaker personally. She then pretends to give a roast instead of a toast, further solidifying this as one of our favorite wedding speech ideas.

Give Honest Advice

@yourstorytold.co someone get her a Netflix special #weddingtiktok #singleaf #weddingfails #maidofhonorspeech #livingthedream #funnywomen #funnywomenoftiktok ♬ You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

Read any wedding speech writing guide and you'll probably be encouraged to share a few words of wisdom with the newlyweds. But, if you aren't married yourself or you don't feel like an expert on all things love, you aren't out of luck. Take a cue from this maid of honor, who candidly (and hilariously) jokes about being single at the wedding.

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Take a "humble" approach.

@bevideography "You're welcome" 🤣🤣 #weddingspeech #bestman #bestmanspeech #weddingtiktok ♬ original sound - BE Videography

Not sure what to write for your wedding speech? We love this best man's approach, who gives himself a pat on the back for introducing the happy couple. After all, no one would be at the wedding without him, so it's only fair that he gets a round of applause too.

Plan a Surprise Flash Mob

@baileypreddy My sister slayed 💁🏼‍♀️ #fypツ #foryour #foryourpride🏳️‍🌈 #lesbiantikok #lgbtqwedding #weddingideas #flashmob #bestfriendsgoals #mohspeech ♬ original sound - Bailey Preddy

The fun doesn't have to stop when your speech ends. If you're looking for speech examples that'll really wow the crowd, enlist the help of your fellow bridesmaids and groomsmen to surprise the couple with a flash mob at the wedding reception. This is particularly appropriate for those looking for fun ideas instead of wedding speeches—if public speaking makes you nervous, keep the talking to a minimum and let the flash mob take over.

Share a Cheeky Pun

@emerald_media Best opening line ever 🤣 #lesbianwedding #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiancouple #weddingmoments #funnyweddingspeech #gaypride #fyp ♬ original sound - emeraldmediaservices

We're obsessed with this sweet wedding officiant speech idea. Making a cheeky joke at the start of the ceremony sets the tone for the rest of the event, but it also allows the couple to relax and shed any last-minute nerves before they say their wedding vows.

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Write a Custom Song

@lovestoriestv 🎥: @miketevesfilms #lovestoriestv #weddingtiktok #mohspeech #weddingspeech #taylorswift ♬ original sound - LoveStoriesTV | Wedding Inspo

You've probably seen your fair share of customized wedding speech songs, but this one takes the cake. If your best friend is a major Taylor Swift fan, take one of her classic love songs and re-write the words yourself. We have a feeling this would bring any Swiftie to tears.

Take a Trip Down Memory Lane

@jkfilmco How this dad knew her daughter had the hots for Manoli #weddingsspeeches #weddings ♬ original sound - J&K Film Co

The father of the bride speech is notorious for being emotional and heartfelt. If you're a parent planning a speech for your child, take a cue from this dad, who reminisces on the first time he saw his daughter interacting with her future husband at a high school basketball game.

Speak From the Heart

@daniel_k._films You have about 5 seconds to grab a box of tissues… #weddingtiktok #wedding #speech #fypシ #maidofhonor ♬ original sound - Daniel_K._Films

The wedding speech is supposed to be thoughtfully written—and while some wedding party members will want to crack jokes and lighten the mood, others might want to write something serious and touching. You'll need a box of tissues to watch this emotional maid of honor speech.

Arrange a Surprise Video Message

@lovestoriestv 🎥: @kateoliviafilms #lovestoriestv #mohspeech #weddingsurprise #weddingspeech #maidofhonor #MyStyle #BachelorReady ♬ original sound - LoveStoriesTV | Wedding Inspo

You don't have to be the only person who speaks during your toast. If there's a loved one who's unable to attend the wedding, coordinate a surprise video message ahead of time so they can also share a few special words with the couple from afar.

Tastefully Roast Your Friend

@katlyn.boone he really set him up😂 #wedding #weddingmoment #funnyweddingmoment #funnyweddingspeech #weddingspeech #funnyweddingmoments #brideandgroom ♬ original sound - Katlyn Boone Cinematography

If you know the newlyweds have a great sense of humor, don't be afraid to weave in a few lighthearted jokes. Take a cue from this best man's speech, where the speaker invites the groom to put his hand over his wife's, signifying the last time he'll have the "upper hand" in their marriage.

Honor Your Parents

@happycamperfilms Such special ways to honor their parents' memory on her wedding day ❤️ #wedding #weddingspeech #emotional #foryou #fyp ♬ original sound - happycamperfilms

This wedding speech is perfect for siblings. If you're looking for wedding speech ideas for your sister or brother, give your parents a shoutout in your toast like this maid of honor did.

Speak to Your Best Friend's Spouse

@newenglandcreative Speech of the century 😭 #wedding #weddingvideographer #weddingvideo #engaged #weddingdress #weddingvibes #weddingplanner #speech #love ♬ Worship Instrumental - Instrumental - Adrian Jonathan

If you're the maid of honor, you've probably been friends with the bride for a long time. And, as a result, you've likely seen the progression of the couple's relationship from the start. For a unique wedding speech idea for your best friend, consider speaking directly to their spouse. Talk about how it feels to see them grow together, and share what it's like to watch your friend be loved so genuinely. This creative tactic is a unique way to honor their relationship in front of loved ones.

Be Sentimental

@newenglandcreative Speech of the century from bride's dad 😭 Wait for it 😢 #wedding #weddingspeech #weddingdress #weddingplanner #speech #tears #imnotcryingyouare #dad ♬ See You Again (Piano Arrangement) - Alexandre Pachabezian

We dare you to watch this father of the bride speech without shedding a tear. Emulate this dad's speaking style in your own toast—writing a vulnerable and honest message will resonate with the crowd.

Reminisce on Your Friendship

@emerald_media When your BFF gives a speech.. #weddingvideo #weddingspeech #emotionalweddingmoments #bffgoals #fyp #viral #bestfriends ♬ original sound - emeraldmediaservices

As the maid of honor or the best man, you've probably been thinking about your toast long before the wedding day. We recommend digging back into the early memories of your friendship, as this maid of honor did, to share personal anecdotes and memories that illustrate your close relationship with the couple.

Give a Toast to Your Child's Spouse

@danleighvideography Bride's dad passed away before they got married. Father of the groom moves her to tears during his speech #trynottocry #imnotcryingyouare #fatherinlaw ♬ She's Somebody's Daughter (The Wedding Version) - Drew Baldridge

Consider this one of our favorite examples of a father of the groom speech. Since the bride's father passed away before the wedding, the groom's dad took over both speech duties and welcomed his son's new wife into their family.

Allot Time for a Couple's Toast

@lovestoriestv 🎥: @imageslifemedia #lovestoriestv #weddingspeech #howtheymet #funnywedding #funnyweddingmoments #HowBizarre ♬ original sound - LoveStoriesTV | Wedding Inspo

Now, it's common for the newlyweds to take the floor for a speech of their own. We love this bride's great wedding toast (and tasteful roast) to her future husband, who originally didn't think they'd be a good match.

Couple raising toasts after wedding reception speeches.

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