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What Are the Lagging Skills Holding Your Child Back?

Children don’t act out to gain attention or control their parents. they do it because they can’t meet our expectations, and that is incredibly frustrating. what they need is not punishment, but help identifying and strengthening the deficient skills that are to blame. here, ross w. greene, ph.d., offers a road map for parents..

Rewards and punishments are virtually worthless if caregivers don’t first spend time doing the following with their behaviorally challenging child :

• Identify lagging skills and unsolved problems
• Start solving these problems collaboratively and proactively

This is the central premise behind a proactive, positive parenting model called collaborative and proactive solutions (CPS), which is an empirically-supported, evidence-based treatment approach that really works to solve tough behavior challenges.

Identifying Lagging Skills

Behaviorally challenging kids typically lack one or more of the following:

• Executive skills
• Language processing and communication skills
• Emotion regulation skills
• Cognitive flexibility skills
• Social skills

[ Free Download: Is It More Than Just ADHD? ]

To make sense of your child and his or her most challenging behaviors, begin by diving into these categories and investigating lagging skills. Only then can you see your child through a more compassionate, accurate, and productive lens; only then can you stop taking a behavior personally. Specific skills lacking in behaviorally challenging kids may include:

• Exhibiting empathy
• Appreciating how one’s behavior is affecting others
• Resolving disagreements without conflict
• Taking another’s perspectives
• Exhibiting honesty

To determine your child’s deficient skills, use The Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (ALSUP) , in combination with this 45-minute tutorial that teachers parents how to use it.

[Find more CPS Essentials here .]

Solving Problems Proactively and Collaboratively

There are three main ways to solve any family problem:

[ Read: How to Keep the Peace in Your ADHD Family ]

• Plan A: Solve the problem unilaterally.
• Plan B: Solve the problem collaboratively.
• Plan C: Set the problem aside for now to prioritize bigger problems. This can be stabilizing for children with many unsolved problems.

Plan A works if a child is in immediate danger, but it doesn’t create a long-term solution. In the CPS model, you will use plan B, which comprises three parts:

• Empathy: To solve a problem, you need to first sit down with your child and gather information to find out what is getting in his or her way of meeting an expectation.
• Define adult concerns: Next, you will explain — calmly and kindly — your concern about the unmet expectation.
• Invitation: Finally, you invite your child to collaborate on a solution that is realistic and satisfactory to everyone. That means both of you can do what you’re agreeing to do, and the solution has addressed the concerns identified in steps 1 and 2.

To start a CPS session, approach your child proactively and say, “You know what? There is something I would love to understand better than I do. Is there a time that you and I could have a discussion so you could help me understand it? You are not in trouble. I am not mad at you.” Then, it’s a good idea to tell your child what it is you’d like more information about so the problem isn’t sprung upon him. Make an appointment and give kids advanced warning.

It is a common parenting myth that adult-child conflict is inevitable. Conflict often arises from the methods parents typically use to solve behavioral problems. Solving problems unilaterally is about holding power over a child, and that power dynamic causes conflict. Plan B is about collaboration, which brings adults and children together as teammates.

The reality is that children and adults will disagree with each other, and children will have difficulty meeting some parental expectations. But conflict does not have to result from those disagreements. Parents and children can work together to jointly solve the problems that affect their lives.

When you parent collaboratively and proactively, you are simultaneously improving behavior and teaching kids the skills they need next time a challenge rises up. When children help to devise them, the solutions are more effective and more durable.

For more information, visit:

• www.livesinthebalance.org
• cpsconnection.com

What if my child won’t collaborate?

When I try to collaborate with my child, he answers, “I don’t know.” How can I get my child interested in teaming up on solution?

It’s important to use the right words when approaching your child. First, talk only about the expectation he is having trouble meeting, not the challenging behavior that results from missing that expectation.

Often, kids shut down when they think they’re in trouble. They get defensive and they don’t communicate. Or, parents try to intervene in the heat of the moment, which rarely works.

“I don’t know” can also mean:

• “I haven’t thought about my concerns in a very long time because I am so accustomed to them not being acknowledged.”
• “I don’t trust you or this process yet because adults in my life have never really listened to me.”
• “I don’t have the words.”

“I don’t know” could mean a lot of different things.

To break through, you can try the five fingers rating system. Five means very true, four means pretty true, three means sort of true, two means not very true, and one means not true at all. Then, you can make statements and your child can respond without having to verbalize. He can just hold up the fingers to respond to each statement.

This advice came from “Beyond Rewards & Consequences: A Better Parenting Strategy for Teens with ADHD and ODD,” ADDitude webinar lead by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., in June 2018 that is now available for free replay here .

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. , is a member of ADDitude’s  ADHD Medical Review Panel .

[ Free Resource: Your 13-Step Guide to Raising a Child With ADHD ]

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Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems

Home » Parent Press » Parenting Hacks » Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems

Jul 11, 2023

Ever felt like you’re trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces when it comes to an understanding your neurodivergent child’s challenges? The “assessment of lagging skills and unsolved problems” (ALSUP) approach can be a game-changer for parents like you. In this blog post, we’ll guide you through the ALSUP process, helping you identify your child’s unique strengths and areas for growth. We’ll also discuss practical strategies to address these challenges and foster a supportive environment for your child’s development. So, let’s embark on this enlightening journey together!

Table of Contents

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Understanding the ALSUP Approach

First things first, let’s grasp the core concept of the ALSUP approach. Developed by Dr. Ross Greene, this method focuses on identifying the specific skills your child may be struggling with and the problems that arise as a result. The goal is to address these issues collaboratively rather than resorting to punitive measures or rewards. In short, it’s about understanding and empathy, not control.

Here are the key components of the ALSUP approach:

• Lagging Skills: Abilities your child may have difficulty with, such as emotional regulation, communication, or problem-solving.
• Unsolved Problems: Challenges that emerge due to lagging skills, like difficulty completing tasks, social conflicts, or emotional outbursts.
• Collaborative Problem Solving: The process of working together with your child to identify solutions to the unsolved problems, fostering a sense of partnership and mutual understanding.

Identifying Your Child’s Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems

Now that you have a basic understanding of the ALSUP approach let’s dive into the process of identifying your child’s lagging skills and unsolved problems. This step is crucial, as it sets the foundation for effective problem-solving and support.

1. Observe and Reflect

Begin by observing your child in various situations, such as during playtime, mealtime, or social interactions. Take note of any patterns or behaviors that seem challenging for them. Reflect on your observations and consider which skills may be lagging behind. For example, if your child struggles with transitions, they may have difficulty with flexibility or adapting to change.

Here are some common lagging skills to look for:

• Emotional regulation
• Communication
• Problem-solving
• Flexibility
• Task initiation

2. Communicate with Others

Reach out to teachers, therapists, or other caregivers who interact with your child regularly. They can provide valuable insights into your child’s strengths and challenges, helping you form a more comprehensive understanding of their needs. By gathering information from multiple sources, you’ll be better equipped to support your child with the help of tools like Goally.

3. Use Assessment Tools

There are various assessment tools available to help you identify your child’s lagging skills and unsolved problems. These can include questionnaires, checklists, or even online resources. One popular tool is Dr. Greene’s ALSUP Inventory, which provides a comprehensive list of potential lagging skills and related unsolved problems.

Some helpful assessment tools include:

• Dr. Greene’s ALSUP Inventory
• Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF)
• Social Skills Improvement System (SSIS)

Addressing Your Child’s Challenges: Collaborative Problem Solving

With a clear understanding of your child’s lagging skills and unsolved problems, it’s time to move on to the collaborative problem-solving process. This approach empowers your child by involving them in the solution-finding process, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility. Goally can be a valuable tool in this process, providing structure and support for your child’s daily routines .

1. Empathy Step

Begin by expressing empathy and understanding for your child’s perspective. This can be through active listening and validating their feelings. For instance, you might say, “I can see that you’re feeling frustrated when it’s time to clean up your toys.”

2. Define the Problem

Next, work together with your child to define the problem clearly. This step involves identifying the specific unsolved problem and the related lagging skill. For example, “The problem is that cleaning up toys is difficult because it’s hard to transition from playtime to cleanup time.”

3. Brainstorm Solutions

Now, engage in a brainstorming session with your child to generate potential solutions to the problem. Encourage creativity and open-mindedness, and remember that no idea is too far-fetched at this stage. The goal is to create a list of possible solutions to explore further.

4. Evaluate and Choose

Together, evaluate the proposed solutions and choose the one that seems most feasible and effective. Consider the pros and cons of each option and how well it addresses the underlying lagging skill.

5. Implement and Monitor

Finally, put the chosen solution into action and monitor its effectiveness. Be prepared to make adjustments as needed, and remember that problem-solving is an ongoing process. Goally can help you track progress and make adjustments as needed, ensuring your child receives the support they need.

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As your child develops new skills, you can increase the difficulty level of the tasks in the app to challenge and motivate them even further. This helps your child grow and progress at their own pace, while also keeping them engaged and excited about their development.

Empowerment Through Understanding

In short, the assessment of lagging skills and unsolved problems is a powerful tool for parents seeking to support their neurodivergent kids. By identifying your child’s unique challenges and working collaboratively to address them, you can foster a nurturing environment that empowers your child to thrive. Remember, understanding and empathy are the keys to unlocking your child’s full potential. With the help of tools like Goally, you can provide the structure and support your child needs to succeed.

This post was originally published on 05/18/2023. It was updated on 07/11/2023.

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Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (ALSUP )

Overview of alsup.

The ALSUP or Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems guides the parents to change the lens through which they see their child's behavior.

STEP 1: Reframing Childhood Behavior or "Lagging Skills"

It is common for parents to explain their child's behaviors with phrases such as:

"My daughter is just lazy."

"He just needs more motivation."

"She is trying to manipulate me to get what she wants."

"My son is very attention seeking."

These beliefs are not always helpful and can often set up an adversarial relationship between parent and child.

The ALSUP helps to reframe the child behavior by focusing on "Lagging Skills". Remember that "a child does well if they can". So if a child is not meeting an expectation it is likely because they don't know how or are lacking a certain skill. The Lagging Skills step can open the eyes of parents to see the child as someone who "wants to do well" but just might need some help.

STEP 2: Identifying Unsolved Problems

The next step is to identify the Unsolved Problems. An unsolved problem is an expectation a child is having difficulty meeting.

There are four guidelines for writing unsolved problems:

Unsolved problems should contain no reference to the child’s challenging behaviors. Unsolved problems begin with the words Difficulty and are followed by a verb.  

Unsolved problems should contain no adult theories.

Unsolved problems should be split, not clumped together.

Unsolved problems should be specific. 

ALSUP Resources

Review these resources below to learn more about the ALSUP, what to expect from your child or student's Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems Assessment and how it relates to the CPS method.

ALSUP Guide

The ALSUP (2020)

ALSUP YouTube Video

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Dr Ross Greene for the development of this program. The program and forms were developed by Dr Ross Greene and The Grove: Comprehensive Psychiatry and Wellness takes no credit for them. Learn more about Dr Greene and his approach at www.livesinthebalance.org . 

Continue Learning

Read our overview of the CPS or Collaborative and Proactive Solutions method.

Next, read about Plan B training at The Grove Comprehensive Wellness and Psychiatry.

Books on CPS

Find our recommended book list on the CPS method as written and developed by Dr. Greene.

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Collaborative and Proactive Solutions

• Building Relationships, Managing Emotions, and Decision-Making Skills
• Intervention

What is the practice?  

Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) is an evidence-based, trauma-responsive approach to working with children who are experiencing social, emotional, and behavioral challenges in families, schools, and treatment facilities. CPS helps children and caregivers solve the problems that are causing the concerning behaviors. The problem solving is collaborative, not unilateral, and proactive, not reactive. The model has been shown to be effective at not only solving problems and improving behavior, but also at enhancing skills.  

Who is the practice for?  

This approach works with children and adolescents and is most effective with ages 4-14.   

What outcomes does the practice produce?  

• Improve relationships  
• Improve communication  
• Improve skills of empathy, appreciating how one’s behavior is affecting others, resolving disagreements in collaborative ways, taking another’s perspective, and honesty  
• Decrease the likelihood of conflict  

What is the evidence?  

Tshida, J.E., Maddox, B.B., Bertollo, J.R., Kuschner, J.S., Miller, J.S., Ollendick, T.H., Greene, R.W., & Yerys, B.E. (2021). Caregiver perspectives on interventions for behavior challenges in autistic children. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders. 81. https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Autism-Spectrum-Disorders_0.pdf  

Results of this study indicate that caregivers of school-age children with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, a reported IQ equal or greater than 70, and behavioral challenges rated medications and CPS as significantly more helpful at improving behavior challenges. Additionally, medications, CPS, ABA, and “other interventions” were rated as leading to significantly greater maintained improvements.  

Greene, R.W., & Winkler, J. (2019), Collaborative & Proactive Solutions: A review of research findings in families, schools, and treatment facilities. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 22(4), 549-561. https://rdcu.be/bHMLV   

Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) is a psychosocial treatment model for behaviorally challenging youth, which has been applied in a diverse array of settings, including families, schools, and therapeutic facilities. Numerous studies have documented its effectiveness and examined factors that mediate and moderate the effectiveness of the model. Data have thus far shown that, with regard to behavioral improvements, CPS is at least the equivalent of the standard of care for externalizing youth, Parent Management Training, and that CPS may hold additional benefits as regards parent-child interactions and children’s skill enhancement.   

Greene, R. W., Ablon, J. S., Goring, J. C., Raezer-Blakely, L., Markey, J., Monuteaux, M. C., Henin, A., Edwards, G., & Rabbitt, S. (2004). Effectiveness of Collaborative Problem Solving in Affectively Dysregulated Children With Oppositional-Defiant Disorder: Initial Findings. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 72(6), 1157–1164. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.72.6.1157  

This study compared the effectiveness of the CPS program to that of the parent training (PT) program. 50 children with oppositional-defiant disorder (ODD) between the ages of 4-12 were randomly assigned to either the CPS treatment group or PT group. The students were assessed both pre and post treatment based on parent stress and clinical evaluations. Students in the CPS treatment group saw significant improvement across multiple domains (i.e., ODD related behaviors, mood, communication) at the post assessment and 4-month mark. At the 4-month mark 60% students in the CPS treatment group saw clinically significant improvement compared to 37% in the PT group.  

How is the practice implemented?  

In the CPS model, a student’s concerning behaviors are simply the way in which they communicate that there are expectations they are having difficulty meeting. Those “unmet” expectations are called “unsolved problems.” The CPS model focuses on identifying the unsolved problems and then engaging the student in solving them. CPS utilizes the Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (ALSUP) to identify the student’s lagging skills and “Plan B” to solve the problems. Plan B involves three basic steps: 1) the Empathy step which involves gathering information in order to achieve the clearest understanding of what’s making it difficult for a student to meet a particular expectation; 2) the Define the Problem step which involves figuring out why it is important to the adult that the expectation be met; and 3) the Invitation step which involves having adults and students brainstorm solutions in order to arrive at an action plan that is both realistic and mutually satisfactory.  

Who can implement the practice?  

Clinicians, educators, and parents can implement CPS.  

What are the costs and commitments associated with becoming trained in this practice?  

Cost and commitment associated with training differs depending on the individual and/or the group. For more information, please click on this link – https://www.cpsconnection.com/workshops-and-training    

What resources are useful for understanding or implementing the practice?  

• More information on CPS can be found here: https://www.cpsconnection.com/about
• More information on CPS tools can be found here: https://www.cpsconnection.com/paperwork  
• To find mental health providers and resources in your area visit the Texas School Mental Health Resource Database here: https://schoolmentalhealthtxdatabase.org/  

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Secondary components: Grief Informed and Trauma Informed Practices; Positive, Safe, and Supportive School Climate; Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports

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