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100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

So, if you are looking to add humor to your presentation, one of the best ways is to insert self-deprecating humor in the form of funny stories. A good story from your own personal experience will be easier to insert into your speech. The story will also create more of a shared experience with your audience. For details about how to use stories to add humor to your speech , click here.

With that being said, though, sometimes, you just need to get a quick laugh out of your audience. And good jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood. We’ve organized the post into four categories of public-speaking jokes.

100 Public Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech.

• Public-Speaking Jokes .
• One-Liners about Public Speaking and Presenting .
• Funny Public Speaking Quotes .
• Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers .

Public-Speaking Jokes for Your Next Presentation to Add a Little Fun.

Between you and I, telling jokes in front of an audience is pretty risky. But sometimes, just getting the audience to laugh right from the start can lighten the mood. Here are a few jokes about public speaking that you can use when you are public speaking.

Jokes about Being Nervous and the Fear of Public Speaking

• Why did the public speaker hire a pitching coach? Because he needed to improve his delivery!
• I used to think I was afraid of public speaking, but just now, I realized I was actually afraid of audiences.
• A public speaker asked the audience, “How many of you are afraid of public speaking?” About half the audience raised their hands. The speaker replied, “Don’t worry, I used to be too. In fact, there was a 50/50 chance that I’d canceled today’s talk!”
• My wife was nervous about public speaking. So, I told her she should embrace her mistake to add a little humor to her delivery. She gave me a hug. Then she laughed.
• Public speaking tip: Imagine the audience naked. But not if you’re giving a eulogy.

Funny Jokes about Presentation Challenges.

Okay, funny may be a little overexaggerated, but corny can work too. Here are a few jokes about challenges that can come up in a presentation.

• Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.
• I was going to tell a time-traveling joke during my speech, but you didn’t like it.
• I asked the librarian if there were any books on how to overcome the fear of public speaking. She whispered, “They’re in the self-help section, but you might have to speak up to find them.”
• I used to be a baker before I became a public speaker. I kneaded the dough, and now I need the audience!
• Why did the public speaker become a gardener? Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow!

These Jokes Are about Audience Interaction.

• I asked the audience if anyone had experience with public speaking. A cricket in the corner started chirping.
• The best way to become a confident public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. Unless you’re speaking at a nudist colony.
• I told my wife I was going to give a speech on procrastination. She said, “Maybe next time.”
• How do you make a tissue dance during a speech? You put a little boogie in it!
• Why did the extroverted computer become a public speaker? Because it had great social networking skills!

Public Speaking Jokes about Presentation Themes.

These funny (or corny) jokes are about the process of public speaking. You can easily use one of these if you start with… “Before I actually start my presentation…” then add the joke.

• I asked my friend if he had any advice for public speaking. He said, “Yes, just imagine the audience is full of cats. They don’t care what you’re saying, but they’ll pay attention if you have treats.”
• How do you organize a fantastic space-themed presentation? You planet!
• Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new heights in communication!
• My friend tried to give a speech on patience, but the audience left before he finished. It seems they didn’t have the patience for it.
• Why did the microphone apply for a job in public speaking? Because it wanted to be heard at work!

A Few Random Public Speaking Jokes (Use with Caution.)

These last few public speaking jokes are a little more tricky. You’d want to save these only for the right type of crowd.

• I used to be afraid of public speaking, but then I realized it’s just talking in front of people. Now I’m terrified of public listening.
• What’s a public speaker’s favorite kind of fish? The articulate!
• I told my friend I was giving a speech about a famous chicken. He asked, “Is it poultry in motion?”
• I was going to make a joke about public speaking, but I figured it would be better in front of a live audience.
• Why did the scarecrow become a great public speaker? He was outstanding in his field!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes . Click here for details.

Here Are a Few Public Speaking One-Liners to Get Your Audience Laughing.

You’ll have a much easier time just adding a funny one-liner every now and then. When you tell a joke, you typically have to get your audience to respond. And, in some cases, the audience will finish your joke.

So a well-placed one-liner will often get you a quick chuckle without as much risk. Here are a few that we organized into five different categories.

These One-Liners Are Related to Audience Interaction (Or Audience Reactions.)

• “I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I did once get a standing ovation… because I tripped over the microphone cord.”
• “I asked my audience if they had any questions after my speech. One person raised their hand and asked, ‘When does the torture end?'”
• “Public speaking is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell.”
• “I used to be afraid of public speaking until I realized every audience is just a bunch of people hoping you don’t notice them.”
• “I gave a speech on procrastination. The audience is still waiting for the punchline.”

Here Are a Few about Speech Techniques and Styles.

• “I asked the audience if they knew the definition of a will. Apparently, ‘a dead giveaway’ wasn’t the right answer.”
• “I don’t have a fear of public speaking; I have a fear of public not listening.”
• “Why don’t public speakers ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the lectern.”
• “I used to be a mime, but I couldn’t stay silent about it. Now I’m a public speaker.”
• “I told the audience I’d be speaking off the cuff. Turns out, my cuff was more interesting than my speech.”

That’s Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

• “I used to be a public speaker at a mime convention. Needless to say, my speeches were a big hit.”
• “I asked the audience if they could define irony. They said, ‘Sure, it’s like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron.'”
• “Public speaking is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s terrifying, and I always feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.”
• “I used to be a motivational speaker, but then I lost my train of thought. Now I’m just a ‘meh’-tivational speaker.”
• “Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the speech? To reach the high points, of course!”

These One-Liners Are about Speech Topics and Delivery.

• “I told the audience I’m going to talk about time travel. They’re still waiting for my future self to arrive.”
• “I tried to give a speech on humility, but everyone said I was the best at it.”
• “Why did the public speaker get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise – corn farming.”
• “I asked the crowd if they liked my tie. They said, ‘It’s not the tie, it’s what you’re saying that’s knot working.'”
• “I tried to make a speech about sleep, but I dozed off during my own presentation.”

Funny One-Liners Related to the Challenges of Public Speaking.

• “I asked the audience for silence during my speech. Apparently, their laughter didn’t get the memo.”
• (If your audience won’t give you feedback.) “Dialogue is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.”
• (If you happen to break wind because of nervousness.) “I’m not a nervous public speaker. I just have a very expressive colon.”
• “I told my wife I’m writing a book on public speaking. She told me to speak louder.”
• “Why did the PowerPoint file go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.”

Funny Motivational Quotes Related to Public Speaking.

A really good way to add humor to any speech is to insert a funny quote from a famous person. These funny motivational quotes are very easy to insert. In fact, you can add them to your speech introduction right at the start. That will lighten the tension in the room and get your audience laughing.

Here are a few that always hit home!

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech.

• “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
• “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
• “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
• “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill
• “The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.” – Author Unknown

Quotes Related to Adding Humor to Your Speech.

If you are looking for a famous quote specifically about adding humor to a speech, try one of these.

• “The first time I spoke in the West, the agents and organizers looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God, she’s funny.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve been funny all my life, but I never knew it.'” – Maya Angelou
• “If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” – Bill Gates
• “I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
• “The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven’t thought of yet.” – Ann Landers
• “I used to be a good communicator, but then I realized I was talking to myself.” – Author Unknown

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing.

• “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
• “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Steven Wright
• “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
• “I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” – Duke Ellington
• “I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid, my father took me to all the historic spots. Every time I refused to get out of the car.” – W.C. Fields

The Funny Quotes Can Help You Make Your Point Better.

Like the last group, these funny quotes aren’t about public speaking. But you will likely be able to use them if you are delivering an informative speech.

• “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I have never been in a situation where having a sense of humor and a giving spirit didn’t lead to a better result.” – Ed Catmull
• “The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.” – Josh Billings
• “I like to talk about my obsession with food. I love to eat. I’m not a ‘foodie,’ but I do love to eat.” – Miranda Kerr
• “I failed public speaking in college the first time and made a ‘D’ in the second class. It was horrible.” – John Grisham

These Last Funny Quotes Didn’t Fit the Other Categories. (LOL!)

These last quotes didn’t really fit in any of the other categories. But they are pretty funny. If you can find a way to insert them into your speech, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.

• “It’s hard to be serious when you’re surrounded by balloons.” – Jerry Seinfeld
• “I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
• “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Willie Nelson
• “I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

Years ago, I taught a leadership class for his team. And at the start of every session, he stood up in front of the group and told a corny Dad joke. The jokes were cringy. But whether the audience laughed or turned up their nose, they all smiled. Over the next few years, I noticed that Ron’s employee turnover was almost zero. It was unheard of in his industry.

It turns out that his team absolutely loved him. He made a tough job much more fun to come to. So, I changed my tune about Dad jokes. Here are a few that you can use to start your next speech or meeting.

Food Public Speaking Jokes

• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
• Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
• What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
• Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Science and Technology Jokes.

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
• Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
• What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Academic Jokes for a Presentation.

• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
• Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
• What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Spooky Jokes

• Why did the skeleton go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
• I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
• What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Miscellaneous Jokes

• I only know how to make holy water. I boil the hell out of it.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• What did the snowman with a six-pack say? An abdominal snowman!

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44 Witty & Wacky Icebreaker Jokes To Tell At Your Next Meeting

Icebreaker jokes like that one command attention. Like a good conversation starter or icebreaker question , a joke can warm up your listeners’ brains and prepare them to receive your message.

In fact, many of the best one-liners work a little like social glue. Not only do they get people laughing, but they may subtly point out similarities of experience, opinions, and values to make even a tight-knit group feel more closely bonded.

Opening your meeting with a little humor via icebreaker jokes, even your cheesiest knock-knock jokes or dad jokes, can:

• Make an audience feel a stronger sense of social connection
• Soothe stress and make people more receptive to calmly discussing ideas
• Warm-up virtual formats for a remote team
• Release endorphins and calm anger for more productive debates
• Make your arguments and ideas more persuasive

Make your meeting life start feeling more like your best life with the icebreaker jokes below.

(PS – A truly energizing icebreaker joke is a great way to open up a team building event or activity and help everyone enter the right mindset to participate in the fun. Looking for more than just trust falls? Check out our list of virtual team building activities to help remote teams engage with each other in a new and exciting environment.)

Page Contents (Click To Jump)

What Makes An Icebreaker Joke Funny?

A joke could make someone crack up one day and have no effect the next day. Therefore, there’s no true formula for a perfect joke, and despite study and analysis on the part of comedians and scientists , we don’t have a precise answer to, “What makes things funny?”

However, we do have a wealth of theories and insights that can help you create, tell, or at least better understand the magic of jokes. Here’s a brief summary:

A joke could make people laugh if it:

• Plays on the human love of detecting discrepancies by illustrating a generally harmless mistake, misunderstanding, or departure from the norm. (Ex: Did you hear about the person who died while opening a window? So did everyone else on the submarine)
• Disrupts expectations via incongruity between a concept, situation, or idea. (Ex: Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs. (David Letterman))
• Gives people an acceptable way to release their feelings on socially inappropriate topics, such as anger, bodily functions, online dating, or even the misfortunes of others. (Ex: My friend took me to what he said was an escape room. Turns out, he just locked me in the closet.)
• Plays on what makes a group similar and inspires feelings of group cohesion.
• Helps people understand one another via insight or perspective on the current social environment.

Icebreaker Jokes For Work

How ‘bout this weather?

How’s it going?

These workplace greetings have become such a commonplace part of our lives, they’re practically rhetorical. Do I really have to tell Rita from accounting how it’s going?

Be the life of the office and add to the company culture .

Subvert expectations and inspire smiles as you breeze into the office or your Zoom meeting with these icebreaker ideas:

1) “I don’t understand how Jeff Bezos is richer than the person who sells receipt paper to CVS.” (Brain Champagne)

2) “Do you know that cool-looking code in the Matrix? It came from sushi recipes .”

3) “Why do people park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?”

4) “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” (Robin Williams)

5) “Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.”

6) A player asked his golf coach: “What is going wrong with my game?” The coach replied, “You’re standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.” ( Golf Workout Program )

7) “Housework won’t kill you. But then again, why take the chance?” (Phyllis Diller)

Icebreaker Jokes For Meetings

Use hilarious jokes and fun questions to break the ice instead to capture everyone’s attention and make sure they’re awake and alert for all the excellent points you’re about to make:.

2) “I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.”

3) “What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink? [Booze]”

4) “My friend took me to what he said was an escape room. Turns out, he just locked me in the closet.” (Brain Champagne)

5) “What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!” (Best Life)

6) “I like to practice magic. Last night, I was driving, and I turned into a driveway.” (Wiley)

Pro-tip #2: Not comfortable making jokes? That’s okay. Use fun and funny facts about your team to break the ice at your next meeting. You can even source a complete bank of surprising and hilarious facts about your teammates using Water Cooler Trivia .

Not only will you receive praise for introducing an amazing team building activity , but you’ll also get plenty of fun facts you can use to laugh with (and maybe at) your teammates. You can also use a funny team building joke or quote to make sure everyone can relax during the meeting. It truly is a win-win!

Icebreaker Jokes For Speeches

A good ice breaker joke tells your audience that you’re charming and funny, someone they’ll enjoy talking to as much as their best friend. Once you get that key point across, your audience will likely listen to everything else you have to say.

Find the best ice breaker for your next speech below:

1) “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.” (David Letterman)

2) “I’ve been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious.” (Steven Wright)

3) “I heard a story that the band Blink-182 incorporated under the name ‘Poo Poo Butt LLC’ to embarrass their accountants in serious conversations.”

4) “I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.” (Spike Milligan)

5) “Before coming here tonight I was discussing my talk with my [partner] and [they] said to me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual, just be yourself.’” (Laffgaff)

6) “What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!” (Best Life)

Pro-tip #3: Champion humor in your workplace by using an employee recognition platform such as Nectar to provide peer-to-peer rewards for making others laugh or smile.

Icebreaker Jokes For Presentations

Rapport is especially important for presentations where you’re trying to persuade an audience of strangers, and you can build rapport with people you’ve never met (and may not have anything in common with) by using some of the funniest jokes you can find. If you are looking for an opening joke for your next presentation, then check out these kick-starters.

1) “By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.” (Billy Crystal)

2) “I have a piece of paper, don’t mind me. I am a professional, but I have a lot of Nutrasweet in my system and I don’t have a good short-term memory.”

3) “I have, you know, a lot of things I want to discuss with you and I don’t even remember what they are. I have them on a piece of paper. Don’t mind me.”

4) “If I glance over, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I can’t remember anything.” (Janeane Garofalo)

5) “I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.” (Best Life)

6) “I can’t believe my parents support my choice of profession! I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian. They laughed at me.” (Upjoke)

7) “What should you do at a Halloween party if a zombie rolls their eyes at you? Roll them back so they can see!” (Beano)

8) “When my son told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.” (CNN Dad Joke Generator)

Pro-Tip #4:  Get plenty of fodder for your jokes by introducing your team to Quizbreaker , an icebreaker tool that makes it easy to create and share quizzes about your team, with your team. The results of any quiz can be a gold mine for customized joke material that hits with your audience (a.k.a co-workers) because it was designed specifically for (and maybe even incorporates) your audience.

Icebreaker Jokes For Large Groups

Use a strategically placed joke to break the ice and make a large group feel like a small gathering of friends.

1) “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” (Bob Hope)

2) “Did you hear about the person that died while opening a window? So did everyone else on the submarine.”

3) “Here’s a funny fact: Nicolas Cage once purchased an octopus to help him with his acting.”

4) “You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.” (Dave Chappelle)

5) “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice…or your spine for that matter.”

6) “When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming. It’s a real ice breaker.” (Laffgaff)

Pro-Tip #5: Make sure you pick a joke you love. You must believe your joke is funny if you hope others will find it funny…kind of like you (hopefully) wouldn’t use pick up lines that have no chance of at least earning a wry smile. In fact, it may not hurt to chuckle a bit yourself. Laughter is contagious, after all.

Icebreaker Jokes For Small Groups

Ingratiate yourself to your tight-knit audience by opening with a little humor.

1) “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.'” (Chris Rock)

2) “You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”

3) “Did you know that there are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones?”

4) “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.” (Best Life)

5) “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.” (Eddie Izzard)

6) “You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? You’re like, ‘What the hell? Has someone been kidnapped?'” (Jim Gaffigan)

Pro-Tip #6: Pick a joke and frame it around your real-life experience . If you’re familiar and passionate about your joke, you have a better chance of getting a reaction from others. They’ll be able to feel your authenticity.

Icebreaker Jokes for Conferences

Try injecting humor into conferences for an instant icebreaker that instantly puts people at ease.

Jokes not only lighten the atmosphere but also create a shared sense of joy, easing tensions and fostering a friendly environment. Mundane facts and numbers-based conferences can be humanized and livened up with a perfectly timed joke!

Here are a few ideas for inspiration!

1) “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.” — Anonymous.

2) The CEO of Google was late to a press conference scheduled for 4:00… 4:04 Page not found.

3) “To make an error is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential.”

4) So, I went to an abstinence conference the other day… All we did was wait.

5) “I like work: It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome.

Pro-tip #7: The best jokes relate humor directly to unique aspects of the conference, making them relatable to everyone.

People Also Ask These Questions About Icebreaker Jokes

Q: what is a good icebreaker joke.

• A: “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” is one good icebreaker joke. Find even more icebreaker jokes in this post .

Q: What makes an icebreaker joke funny?

• Illustrating a generally harmless mistake, misunderstanding, or departure from the norm
• Commenting on the current social climate
• Disrupting expectations or norms on a concept, situation, or idea.
• Playing to what makes an audience similar

Q: How do I start my work presentation?

• A: Start your work presentation with an icebreaker joke . Many jokes work a little like social glue. Not only do they get people laughing, but they may also point out similarities of experience, opinions, and values and make a group feel more closely bonded.

Q: Where can I find icebreaker jokes for work?

• A: You can find good icebreaker jokes for work in this roundup , which includes office-appropriate icebreaker jokes for presentations, speeches, meetings, and more.

Q: Are there any good icebreaker jokes for a work meeting?

• A: There are plenty of good icebreaker jokes for a work meeting. For example, you could use a popular Jerry Seinfeld technique and say, “Have you ever noticed…” and fill in the blank with something funny or ridiculous you’ve observed lately.

Q: How do I tell a good joke at work?

• A: Tell a good joke at work by first finding an icebreaker joke you love and then practicing your delivery. Watch your favorite comedians to get inflection inspiration. Try it out on a few of your best work buddies. Before long, you’ll have a go-to joke that never fails to get laughs.

Q: What kinds of jokes are appropriate to tell at work?

• A: Icebreaker jokes are always appropriate to tell at work. Some other work-safe jokes include dad jokes, puns, and a myriad of other clean and not-always-cheesy jokes that don’t leverage taboos or inappropriate subjects.

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15 Funny Quotes to Start a Speech With a Bang

Are you struggling to find that perfect line to start your speech off right?

Whether you are delivering a speech for work, school, or a special occasion, opening with a funny quote can help you captivate your audience and get your point across.

So, if you’re looking for a little inspiration, here are 15 funny quotes to kick off your speech with a bang:

Quick Definition

There are countless funny quotes that can be used to begin a speech. Consider using an inspirational quote from a famous person, or one that is humorous and light-hearted that will draw in your audience.

Why Use a Funny Quote to Start a Speech?

When it comes to starting a speech, why not open with some laughter?

A funny quote can help grab the attention of an audience as well as ease any anxious energy in the room.

Not only is this approach amusing, but it also demonstrates confidence and puts your audience at ease.

Plus, you'll be setting a light-hearted tone for the remainder of your remarks, signaling to your audience that this won't just be a mundane affair. However, it’s important to remember that opening with humor isn’t always suitable.

Some presentations may call for more sobriety and when in doubt, skip the joke and stick to something that will get people’s ears perked up without offending anybody in the process.

Depending on the dynamic of the group and the content you’re delivering, going too far could backfire and ruin your credibility before you even get into your key points. So consider carefully whether opening with a funny quote is right for the occasion - and make sure it's genuinely witty or entertaining !

If used correctly, a humorous quote can spark interest from your audience and provide them with the incentive to stay focused until the end of your speech . Now that we've discussed why using a funny quote to start a speech can be beneficial, let's delve into how to gain attention from the audience when utilizing this approach in our next section.

Main Points to Remember

Starting a speech with a funny quote can help grab the audience's attention and ease any anxious energy in the room. It also signals to your audience that it won't be a mundane affair.

However, this approach isn't always suitable and should be used cautiously. If done correctly, a humorous quote can spark interest in your audience and provide them with the incentive to stay focused until the end of your speech.

Gaining Attention From the Audience

Getting attention from the audience is key when starting a presentation or speech. Depending on the size and type of audience, engaging the crowd and warming them up to what you have to say can be an effective way of ensuring they are interested and attentive. Adding humor to your start can be one way to get the audience’s attention right away. This can range from a joke , a lighthearted anecdote, or even quoting someone in the room (with their permission).

By adding a little bit of levity, you can break up the formal atmosphere that may exist in your audience. On the other hand, breaking the ice may backfire if delivered incorrectly - it can be juvenile or off-putting in certain contexts. Tying into something familiar or relevant in the room is another way to gain attention. This could be referring to a news story or current event that is related to your topic.

Finding something relatable for your audience will help create initial interest and give them a reason to listen . However, relying too heavily on this approach may lead to superficial interactions with topics that are not fully fleshed out. The next step in discussing any type of speech is adding impact to ensure your remarks have staying power with your listener.

Adding Impact to the Speech

Beginning a speech with an attention-grabbing quote can set the tone for an enjoyable and engaging delivery.

Quotes that are humorous or that playfully challenge conventional wisdom can help stimulate interest and discussion amongst your audience.

Lighthearted jokes or anecdotes can pique curiosity and show off your wit, while thought-provoking philosophies can provide food for thought. The only catch: Make sure to use a quote that fits the subject matter of your speech! Humorous quotes often make for some of the best kick-off points for a speech.

A funny joke or quip may lighten up the atmosphere and provide an infusing dose of energy to your audience. That said, it’s important to strike a balance; using humor to launch a serious presentation risks minimizing its importance or distracting from its main points—plus, it may detract from what you’re actually trying to say!

In most cases, it may be best to avoid humor altogether in order to ensure your message is seen as credible and valuable by the audience. On the other hand, if you’re giving an upbeat talk on a positive topic such as creative problem-solving, making insightful observations through edgy commentary may go down well with listeners!

Humorous quotes carefully chosen to complement the topic of your speech can prove entertaining while also adding depth and visual impact. In any case, try not to throw too many jokes into one presentation—oversaturation is also not recommended when it comes working humour into a speech. Moving on from discussing the impact of adding quotes to your speech, let us now look at different types of quotes which can be used to start a speech with a bang!

Types of Funny Quotes to Start a Speech

When crafting a discussion or speech, introducing the topic with a humorous quote can lighten up the atmosphere and set a positive tone.

But not all quotes are created equal, so depending on the situation it may be beneficial to choose an appropriate quote. There is an argument that using a quote from a famous person may have more impact to start off the discussion; however, there are also points to be made for using commonly known sayings or tongue-in-cheek quips. Many people believe that a quote from a distinguished person—whether historical figures, politicians, scientists, and so forth—can immediately draw attention and establish credibility.

It adds weight to the speaker’s ideas if they can reference legends who have come before them. However, it can backfire if the audience cannot understand or relate to whom the speaker is quoting, as well as their context.

Moreover, some might find certain quotes from prominent people cringe-worthy or too outdated for contemporary use. On the other hand, witty one-liners and popular phrases may prove to be more effective in connecting with an audience .

Since many of these jokes have been widely circulated over time, they are usually understood by all listeners. Certain regional or specialized acts require an audience familiar with particular terms; in this case you can use local sayings or inside jokes as long as you make sure it’s widely understood by everybody in the room.

Also, this type of humor is often seen as being more organic rather than forced because it sticks close to common knowledge. Finally, catered humor can elevate your performance tenfold when you take into account your particular audience’s interests and preferences.

If you’re having trouble deciding whether to use a famous person's quote or commonplace joke, consider asking yourself which will make your specific crowd laugh the most? That could be the deciding factor before beginning your speech with a bang. Turning now to quotes from famous people: successful speakers incorporate examples from historically esteemed individuals into their speeches to strike a chord with their crowd while also demonstrating intelligence and depth of knowledge.

Quotes From Famous People

Quotes from famous people can be a great way to start a speech. Not only are these quotes entertaining, but they can help create a bond between the speaker and the audience by referring to someone everyone knows and admires.

As a bonus, even raising the possibility of being taken seriously through association makes for an attention grabbing opening. On the other hand, with this comes the danger of misquoting or taking a famous quote out of context. Even if meant innocently, this could easily cause offense and cast doubt on the credibility of what follows afterwards in the speech. The use of quotes from famous people should then be treated with care and given due consideration before being used in a speech. For inspiration, here are 15 funny quotes from famous people that can kickstart any speech with a bang:

Quotes From Historical Figures

Quotes from historical figures have a lot of potential when it comes to beginning a speech.

Such inspiring words can provide insight about particular topics and become sources of motivation for listeners. Historical quotes can be used to set a serious tone or include some humor in an otherwise dry topic. However, depending on the situation, it is important to consider both sides of the argument when selecting these kinds of quotes. On the one hand, a quote from a historic leader can provide inspiration for the audience and bring attention to the importance of certain ideas.

Being a source of uplifting words, memorable lines taken from famous speeches can be especially effective in emotionally charged situations such as times of struggle or moments of hope. By quoting influential figures and making use of movements that changed lives, speakers can make their conversations meaningful and powerful. On the other hand, while quotations from history offer many benefits, they might fail to promote laughter or lightness at the start of a presentation. This could lead to monotonous public speaking engagements that could put people off instead of captivating their attention.

Furthermore, in some cases, controversial statements made by certain figures could have negative implications in an audience. Therefore, choosing an appropriate quote should involve careful selection and consideration before broadcasting it to an audience. In any case, having an impressive and catchy introduction with powerful words from inspiring leaders gives you an opportunity to capture your listeners’ imagination and successfully draw their attention towards your message.

Now that we discussed the pros and cons of using quotes from historical figures, let us turn our attention to finding relevant funny quotes which could be used to produce different results such as getting audiences laughing and energizing your speech right away.

Finding Relevant Funny Quotes

Finding relevant funny quotes to kick off a speech can be a great way to warm up the crowd and energize your audience.

When choosing a quote for this purpose, it's important to make sure that the content of the quote is both relatable and relevant to the message or topic of your speech . However, you want to ensure that it’s not something your audience has heard before or too risky that it could come across as offensive. Another factor when selecting a quote is how well known the author of the quote is. For example, quoting Will Rogers or Mark Twain will generally be better received than someone who may not have widespread recognition.

Generally, if you select a lesser-known author you should include some background information about them so people understand the context of their humour. Finally, another factor in finding good quotes for a speech is the relevance of the message within the quote itself. Selecting something broad can work but if possible it’s best to find something more tailored to your desired outcome.

Some good ways to research funny quotes are online collections from authors, comedians, or other sources that have come from people that specialize in creating humourous content. Finding relevant funny quotes can be challenging but can also be an effective way to grab an audiences attention and set the tone for an entertaining speech.

Before deciding on one though, it’s important to consider all factors such as the author, relevancy and risk-level associated with the content of what’s being said. With these pointers in mind, you can begin your search to figure out which humorous quote will give your speech the excellent start it deserves! With that process complete, now it’s time to move onto analyzing the situation and making sure each element lines up accordingly.

Analyzing the Situation

When choosing a funny quote to open a speech, it is important to carefully assess the situation.

Considering your audience and the occasion are two key elements to take into account for any successful speech. Joking around in a professional setting may be off-putting to some whereas in more light-hearted environments, it may go over well.

For example, while delivering a wedding toast at a lavish event it may be more appropriate to opt for a slapstick joke than if you’re talking at an academic conference. To ensure that your chosen quote won’t offend anyone or derail the tone of the event, consider searching for a mild joke that may still make people laugh without being too out of place. Likewise, researching jokes relevant to the topics discussed will make sure that you earn more laughter and appreciation from your audience. Overall, picking an appropriate funny quote is not always easy but analyzing the situation is an essential step for having a successful presentation. With thorough research and consideration of your audience and occasion, you can select a quote that will start your speech off with a bang. Now that you’ve gained insight into how to analyze the situation when selecting funny quotes, let’s move on to some tips and tricks for using them effectively when delivering your speech.

Tips and Tricks While Using Funny Quotes

Using funny quotes to begin a speech can be an effective way to grab the audience's attention. However, there are certain tips and tricks speakers need to remember if they wish to make the best of their funny quote. One of these tips is to choose the right quote. It’s important to pick one that is actually humorous and will be able to make your audience laugh or smile. Choose a quote that is relevant and contemporary – one that your audience will immediately relate and understand. In addition, it's also important to know how far your funny quote should go. Don’t choose a quote that may be considered offensive to any particular group of people. Make sure you find one that is lighthearted instead of overly edgy or inappropriate. When delivering your funny quote, don’t forget about using body language and facial expressions. A funny joke or punch line would sound flat without enough expression on the speaker’s face or in their delivery.

Try and exaggerate for comedic effect by varying the rate you say each word or maybe even add exaggerated hand gestures with each phrase for extra emphasis. These tips and tricks for using funny quotes can help speakers start their speech with a bang and make sure their humor gets across effectively to their audience - but these are not all of the rules when it comes to using humor while speaking!

The next section of this article will discuss our conclusion and final thoughts on how best to use funny quotes in speeches .

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The conclusion of this article is that adding some humor to your speech can be a great way to engage and connect with your audience.

Using a few carefully chosen funny quotes can be the perfect way to open up a speech and get your audience's attention. Not only will it make them smile, it will also help break the ice, making it easier for you to warm up to speaking in front of an audience. There are pros and cons when deciding whether or not you should use humor in your speech.

On one hand, jokes and humorous quotes can be effective at engaging the audience , getting everyone laughing which can help create a relaxed atmosphere.

However, one must exercise caution as jokes that involve stereotypes or offensive topics might have unintended consequences. If a joke falls flat or people find the punchline inappropriate, then more than likely your presentation will not go as planned. So before using humor in your speech, make sure that it's appropriate and won't be taken the wrong way by your audience. Ultimately, if used correctly and tastefully, funny quotes can help increase engagement in any given speech.

Whether you're giving an inspirational talk or simply delivering facts to an audience, sprinkling in humor is always a nice touch that can be used to hit home a point or two while keeping the crowd entertained at the same time.

Here are 15 Funny Quote You Can Use to Start a Speech

• Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
• I really lack the words to compliment myself today.
• Don’t underestimate me, that’s my mother’s job.
• I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
• At the very start, let me say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say… and neither do I.
• You are not completely useless you can always serve as a bad example.
• It’s good to learn from other’s mistakes, I wish people learn something from me.
• The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
• I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
• Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
• Sorry, I’m late. I got here as soon as I felt like it.
• You know God gave us brain to work out our problems. However we used it to create more!
• Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
• Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
• Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. It’s the only way you can be sure somebody’s listening.

How do I determine which funny quotes to use in my speech?

When determining which funny quotes to use in your speech, it is important to consider the audience. Ask yourself if the quote is appropriate for the particular environment and crowd.

Additionally, you should consider the topics of your speech and choose quotes that are relevant to them. Furthermore, when selecting quotes make sure that they are short, concise and witty. You want the audience to get the joke so having simple delivery with a punchline helps with this.

Lastly, remember to have fun with it! Your sense of humor will help you pick out the best funny quote for your speech.

What are the best ways to structure a speech using funny quotes?

The best way to structure a speech using funny quotes is by mixing a few humorous statements in throughout the entirety of your presentation.

Begin with a funny opener quote to get everyone laughing, but don’t rely solely on jokes to carry your speech. Instead, use humor to set the tone and provide an entertaining break between informative points throughout your presentation.

It’s important not to overuse humor as too many jokes within a speech can take away from the main point of your presentation and also start to feel stale after a while.

Additionally, it’s good to check quotes you plan on using for accuracy and make sure that they fit the context of your message. If done well, humorous quotes can be great tools for engaging an audience in a stimulating way.

How can I use funny quotes to grab the attention of the audience?

Using funny quotes to grab the audience’s attention is a great way to start off your speech. Not only will it break the ice and get everyone laughing, it can also serve to introduce an important topic that you plan to discuss in your speech.

If the quote is clever and relevant to your subject matter, it can open up a meaningful dialogue about the main points of your speech and show your audience that you understand their perspective. To be effective, it’s important to pick out one or two funny quotes from your chosen source and use them strategically throughout the course of your speech. Avoid quoting too many jokes as this can lose its impact quickly.

Also make sure that any humorous words or phrases you use accurately reflect the tone and mood of the event so you don’t come across as overly jokey or inappropriate. 

Finally, it’s good practice to acknowledge the original author or source of any funny quotes you use; this adds gravitas and ensures that proper credits are given where due.

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Public Speaking Helpline

Humor and Jokes on Public Speaking

Jokes on public speaking can lighten the mood during presentations and help speakers connect with their audience. Many people find public speaking daunting, so using humor can help alleviate tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere.

Effective humor can also enhance the speaker’s credibility and make the audience more receptive to their message. However, it is important to use jokes that are relevant, appropriate, and inclusive, avoiding any potentially offensive or divisive content. With the right balance, jokes can be a powerful tool for engaging the audience and making public speaking a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Table of Contents

Importance Of Humor In Public Speaking

Humor plays a crucial role in public speaking, especially when it comes to jokes on the topic. It not only captivates the audience’s attention but also helps in delivering the message effectively. By incorporating humor, speakers can establish a connection with their listeners and make the overall experience enjoyable.

Humor As An Icebreaker:

• Public speaking can be a daunting task, both for seasoned speakers and beginners alike. However, incorporating humor into your speeches can act as a powerful icebreaker, instantly capturing the attention and interest of your audience.
• Humor has the ability to create a positive and relaxed atmosphere, helping to break down any barriers between the speaker and the audience. It allows the speaker to establish a connection and build rapport with the listeners.
• Here are some reasons why humor is an effective icebreaker in public speaking:
• It grabs attention: A well-timed joke or witty remark can immediately capture the audience’s attention, making them more receptive to the speaker’s message.
• It lightens the mood: Humor has a way of diffusing tension and creating a relaxed environment. When people are relaxed, they are more open to listening and engaging with the speaker.
• It builds rapport: Making the audience laugh helps to establish a connection between the speaker and listeners. Sharing a humorous moment creates a sense of camaraderie and trust.
• It boosts confidence: A speaker who can successfully inject humor into their presentation appears confident and in control. This confidence can inspire confidence in the audience as well.

Relaxing The Audience:

• The inclusion of humor in public speaking acts as a powerful tool to relax the audience, making them feel at ease and more receptive to the message being delivered.
• Humor helps create a relaxed atmosphere by:
• Easing tension: Laughter has a way of diffusing tension and creating a positive vibe in the room. When people are relaxed, they are more likely to pay attention and engage with the speaker.
• Generating positive emotions: Humor triggers the release of endorphins, which are often referred to as the “feel-good” hormones. When the audience experiences positive emotions, they are more inclined to remember and connect with the speaker’s message.
• Breaking down barriers: Shared laughter helps break down any barriers between the speaker and the audience. It creates a sense of unity and promotes a feeling of inclusiveness.
• Making the topic relatable: Humor can make even the most complex or mundane topics relatable and accessible. It allows the audience to connect with the content on a personal level, enhancing their understanding and retention.

Enhancing Engagement And Retention:

• Humor is a powerful tool for enhancing audience engagement and boosting message retention in public speaking. Incorporating humor can help make your presentation more memorable and impactful.
• Here’s how humor enhances engagement and retention:
• Maintaining interest: Humor breaks the monotony of a speech, preventing the audience from becoming bored or disengaged. It helps to sustain their attention throughout the entire presentation.
• Aiding information retention: When humor is used strategically, it can help reinforce key messages and make them more memorable. Humorous anecdotes or punchlines can serve as mental hooks, aiding information retention.
• Creating a positive association: The positive feelings generated by laughter can create a positive association with the speaker and their content. This can lead to a stronger connection between the audience and the message being delivered.
• Improving message comprehension: Humor has been shown to improve cognitive processing and comprehension. When the audience is engaged and enjoying themselves, they are more likely to absorb and understand the information being presented.

Incorporating humor into public speaking not only serves as an icebreaker, but it also relaxes the audience, enhances engagement, and improves message retention. By using humor strategically, speakers can captivate their listeners and deliver their message with impact. So, don’t underestimate the power of a well-placed joke or funny anecdote in your next public speaking engagement.

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Incorporating Jokes Into A Public Speaking Presentation

Discover the power of incorporating jokes into your public speaking presentation to captivate and entertain your audience. With carefully crafted humor, you can enhance your message and make a memorable impact, while maintaining a professional and engaging speaking style.

Public speaking can be nerve-wracking for many individuals, but incorporating jokes into your presentation can help break the ice and engage your audience. Jokes have the power to captivate attention, lighten the mood, and create a memorable experience. However, it’s important to understand the audience, deliver relevant and appropriate jokes, and master timing and delivery techniques.

Let’s explore these aspects further.

Understanding The Audience:

• Research the demographics and interests of your audience.
• Consider their cultural background and values.
• Tailor your jokes to resonate with their experiences and sense of humor.
• Beware of sensitive subjects or offensive content that may alienate certain groups.
• Take into account the venue and event type to gauge the overall tone.

Delivering Relevant And Appropriate Jokes:

• Align your jokes with the overall theme or message of your presentation.
• Use anecdotes or personal experiences that relate to your topic.
• Relate the humor to the subject matter to ensure relevance.
• Balance the level of humor to suit the audience’s preferences.
• Avoid inside jokes that only a select few would understand.

Timing And Delivery Techniques:

• Break the ice with a well-timed joke at the beginning of your presentation.
• Incorporate humor throughout the speech to maintain engagement.
• Pay attention to the flow and rhythm of your presentation to enhance comedic timing.
• Use pauses and facial expressions to accentuate punchlines.
• Practice your delivery to ensure naturalness and confidence.

Incorporating jokes into a public speaking presentation can add a touch of humor and make your message more memorable. However, it is crucial to understand the audience, deliver relevant jokes, and master timing and delivery techniques. By doing so, you can captivate your audience, create a positive atmosphere, and leave a lasting impression.

So go ahead, embrace the power of humor and confidently deliver your message.

Categories Of Public Speaking Jokes

Discover the various categories of jokes centered around public speaking, providing humor and entertainment for all those familiar with the art of addressing an audience. Delve into the world of witty punchlines and comedic anecdotes that poke fun at the challenges and idiosyncrasies of public speaking.

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking experience for many individuals. To lighten the mood and engage the audience, incorporating jokes into a speech can be highly effective. There are several categories of public speaking jokes that can be utilized, including self-deprecating jokes, observational humor, and puns/wordplay.

Each category offers its own unique style and comedic value, allowing speakers to connect with their audience on a more lighthearted level.

Self-Deprecating Jokes:

• Self-deprecating jokes involve poking fun at oneself and highlighting personal weaknesses or quirky traits. These jokes can create a relatable and endearing atmosphere, making the speaker more approachable to the audience.
• Example: “I used to be terrified of public speaking, but then I realized that the worst thing that could happen is I make a few people snore.”

Observational Humor:

• Observational humor revolves around everyday life situations or commonly shared experiences. By adding a humorous twist to these situations, speakers can ignite laughter and improve audience engagement.
• Example: “Have you ever noticed how public speaking and parallel parking have a lot in common? Both can leave you feeling anxious, sweaty, and praying you don’t hit any cones.”

Puns And Wordplay:

• Puns and wordplay involve playing with language, often incorporating double meanings or clever twists. These jokes can be highly entertaining and showcase the speaker’s wit and creativity.
• Example: “Speaking in public can be like trying to herd cats. You’re never quite sure if they’ll listen, but if you bring treats, they might just stick around.”

Incorporating jokes from these categories can significantly enhance a public speaking experience, making it more enjoyable for both the speaker and the audience. However, it is essential to ensure that the jokes are appropriate for the context and audience, as humor can be highly subjective.

With careful consideration and preparation, public speaking jokes can contribute to a memorable and engaging presentation. So, let’s dive into the world of public speaking jokes, explore each category, and learn how they can elevate your next speech!

Jokes For Presentations

Discover a collection of humorous jokes on public speaking that will keep your audience engaged and entertained during presentations. These jokes are sure to break the ice and lighten the mood, making your presentations memorable and enjoyable. So, get ready to add a touch of laughter to your next public speaking engagement!

Opening Jokes To Grab Attention:

• Have you ever seen a presenter so nervous that they tripped over their own words? Well, they probably shouldn’t have used “public speaking” as their worst nightmare in a presentation!
• Imagine this: You’re about to start your presentation, and you see the audience looking bored and sleepy. Well, worry not! I’ve got some opening jokes that will wake them right up and make them eager to hear what you have to say.
• Let’s face it, starting a presentation can be daunting. But with the right joke, you can break the ice and instantly grab your audience’s attention. Here are a few opening jokes that will inject a dose of humor into your presentation and set the tone for an engaging talk:
• “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! Speaking of outstanding, let’s talk about our topic today…”
• “I recently heard a funny story about an octopus who could juggle 8 balls at once. It got me thinking about the importance of multitasking, which brings me to our discussion on…”
• “Did you know that public speaking is often ranked higher than death as people’s top fear? Well, the good news is, I’m here to make it a little less terrifying and a lot more enjoyable. Let’s dive in, shall we?”

Transition Jokes Between Main Points:

• Now that you’ve captured your audience’s attention with an opening joke, it’s time to smoothly transition between your main points. Including transition jokes not only adds a touch of humor but also helps maintain the flow of your presentation. Here are a few transition jokes to keep your audience engaged:
• “Moving on to our next point, let me share a little story that perfectly illustrates the concept we just covered. Picture this: A penguin, a giraffe, and a monkey walk into a bar…”
• “As we shift gears and delve into our next topic, let’s lighten the mood with a quick joke. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner!”
• “Before we jump into the nitty-gritty details of our next idea, can I just share something funny I stumbled upon? Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

Closing Jokes To Leave A Memorable Impression:

• As you near the end of your presentation, don’t forget the golden rule: Leave a lasting impression. A well-crafted closing joke is the perfect way to leave your audience with a smile and ensure they remember your message. Here are a few closing jokes that will help you wrap up your presentation on a high note:
• “Before we wrap things up, let me share a small yet amusing anecdote. Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them! Thank you for joining me on this math-filled journey, and remember, positivity is always a plus!”
• “As we come to the end of this presentation, I can’t resist sharing a funny observation I recently made. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they always use honeycombs! Just like bees collect honey, I hope you leave here today with a sweet taste of knowledge.”
• “Now, before we part ways, here’s a little joke to make sure you remember the main takeaway from our time together. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! Thank you for being such a wonderful audience, and remember, when we work together, we can achieve great things!”

Remember, incorporating these opening, transition, and closing jokes into your presentation will not only add humor but also help you connect with your audience, create a memorable experience, and ensure your message resonates long after you’ve finished speaking. So go ahead, make them laugh, and enjoy the journey of public speaking!

Jokes For Business Presentations

Discover the perfect blend of humor and public speaking with jokes for business presentations. Engage your audience and make your presentation memorable with clever jokes about public speaking.

Using Jokes To Lighten The Mood During Serious Discussions

Oh, the dreaded business presentations! The mere thought of standing in front of a room full of serious faces can send shivers down anyone’s spine. But fear not! Incorporating a well-timed joke or two can work wonders in lightening the mood and engaging your audience.

After all, laughter is the best medicine, even in the corporate world. So, let’s sprinkle some humor into those serious discussions!

Incorporating Industry-Specific Humor

When it comes to business presentations, incorporating industry-specific humor can do wonders in establishing rapport with your audience. By using jokes that resonate with your industry, you not only demonstrate your knowledge but also create a sense of belonging. Here are some ways to incorporate industry-specific humor:

• Research current trends: Stay updated on the latest news and trends in your industry. Find humorous anecdotes or situations that tie in with your topic. This shows your audience that you are not only well-prepared but also in touch with the industry’s lighter side.
• Adapt well-known jokes: Put a twist on popular jokes or one-liners by giving them an industry-specific spin. This shows your audience that you can find humor even in the most mundane aspects of your business. Just remember to keep it light and avoid sensitive subjects!
• Use funny visuals: Incorporate funny images or memes related to your industry into your presentation slides. Visual humor can instantly grab attention and create a more relaxed atmosphere. However, make sure the visuals are tasteful and relevant to your message.
• Personal anecdotes: Share funny and relatable stories from your own experiences in the industry. This humanizes your presentation and makes it easier for your audience to connect with you.

Remember, the key is to find a balance between humor and professionalism. Humor should enhance your message, not overpower it. By incorporating industry-specific humor into your business presentations, you can create a memorable and enjoyable experience for your audience.

Now go ahead, break the ice with a well-crafted joke and watch your business presentations soar to new heights!

Jokes For Academic Presentations

Discover a collection of witty jokes tailored specifically for academic presentations. These hilarious quips on public speaking will delight and entertain your audience while adding a touch of humor to your presentation.

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking experience for many individuals. However, injecting some humor into academic presentations can help ease tension and engage the audience. Adding jokes to complex or technical topics requires a delicate balance between humor and educational content.

In this section, we will explore some effective strategies for incorporating jokes into academic presentations.

Adding Humor To Complex Or Technical Topics:

• Use analogies: Comparing complex ideas to everyday situations or objects can help simplify the content and make it relatable. For example, when discussing the concept of entropy in thermodynamics, you could say, “Entropy is like a messy room after a wild party – everything is disordered and chaotic!”
• Incorporate visual aids: Utilize humorous images, illustrations, or even memes to lighten the mood and make the content more engaging. Visual humor can help convey complex information in a memorable and entertaining way.
• Tell anecdotes: Sharing personal stories or anecdotes related to the topic can add a touch of humor while providing real-life context. For instance, if discussing a research methodology, you could humorously recount a situation where the methodology went hilariously wrong.
• Utilize wordplay and puns: Clever wordplay can bring a smile to the audience’s faces while still conveying important information. For example, when discussing biology, you could say, “Why did the skeleton want to go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him!”
• Engage the audience: Encouraging audience participation through interactive elements, such as quizzes or polls, can create a lighthearted atmosphere. You can inject humor by incorporating funny or unexpected options in the multiple-choice questions.

Remember, the key is to strike a balance between humor and educational content. While jokes can add entertainment value to academic presentations, they should never overshadow the main purpose of conveying knowledge and information. By using these strategies, you can make your academic presentations both informative and enjoyable for your audience.

Benefits Of Using Jokes

Discover the benefits of incorporating jokes into public speaking engagements. By using humor, speakers can connect with their audience, ease tension, and leave a lasting impression that enhances engagement and retention.

Building connection and likeability:

• Jokes can help speakers form a connection with their audience by creating a shared sense of humor and breaking the ice.
• A well-placed joke can make the speaker more relatable and likable, enhancing the overall impression they leave on the audience.

Breaking the monotony and engaging the audience:

• Incorporating jokes into a presentation can help alleviate boredom and monotony, keeping the audience engaged and attentive.
• Jokes serve as a refreshing break from the seriousness of public speaking, adding elements of entertainment and humor to create a more lively atmosphere.

Making the presentation memorable:

• Funny and memorable moments tend to stick in our minds. By including jokes, speakers can make their presentations more memorable for the audience.
• Jokes can act as anchors, helping listeners recall key points or messages long after the presentation ends.
• Personal anecdotes and humorous stories told through jokes can leave a lasting impression on participants.

Remember, humor should be used tactfully and in moderation. It is essential to consider the context and the audience’s preferences before incorporating jokes into public speaking.

Challenges Of Using Jokes

Using jokes in public speaking can present several challenges. It is important to strike the right balance between humor and appropriateness, as jokes that fall flat can create awkwardness or offend the audience. Additionally, jokes require proper timing and delivery to be effective, adding to the complexity of incorporating humor into presentations.

Cultural And Language Considerations:

• When using jokes in a public speaking engagement, it is important to consider the cultural and language backgrounds of your audience. Not all jokes will translate well across different cultures and languages.
• Different cultures have different senses of humor, and what may be funny in one culture can be seen as offensive or confusing in another.
• Language barriers can also pose a challenge when using jokes. Wordplay and puns, for example, may not have the same impact or be understood by everyone in the audience.

Risks Of Offending Or Alienating The Audience:

• One of the main challenges of using jokes in public speaking is the risk of offending or alienating the audience.
• Jokes that make fun of certain groups or individuals based on their race, gender, religion, or any sensitive topic can be highly offensive and can create a negative atmosphere.
• It is essential to steer clear of jokes that may be controversial or divisive, as they can alienate parts of the audience and undermine the overall message of your speech.

Balancing Humor With Professionalism:

• Finding the right balance between humor and professionalism is crucial when incorporating jokes into a public speaking engagement.
• Humor can be an effective tool to engage the audience, lighten the mood, and make the content memorable. However, it is important to ensure that the jokes align with the tone and objective of the speech.
• Professionalism should be maintained at all times, even when using humor. Jokes should never overshadow the main topic and should be in good taste, appropriate, and respectful.
• Keep in mind that the primary purpose of public speaking is to inform, persuade, or entertain, so humor should enhance these goals rather than detract from them.

Identifying Potential Joke Opportunities In The Content

Uncover hidden comic gems within content centered around public speaking. Identify potential joke opportunities to inject humor and engage the audience effectively, creating an engaging and memorable experience.

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people, but injecting a little humor into your presentation can lighten the mood and captivate your audience. By identifying potential joke opportunities in your content, you can effectively engage your listeners and make your speech more memorable.

In this section, we will explore how to find humorous angles and punchlines and utilize storytelling techniques to enhance your public speaking skills.

Finding Humorous Angles And Punchlines

• Understanding your audience: Tailoring your jokes to the interests and demographics of your audience can increase the chances of success. Consider their age, profession, and cultural background when crafting jokes.
• Identifying funny anecdotes: Look for humorous personal stories or experiences related to your topic that you can share during your speech. These relatable anecdotes can instantly connect with your audience and generate laughter.
• Exploring wordplay: Playful use of words, such as puns or double entendres, can be an excellent source of humor. Keep an eye out for witty phrases or word combinations that align with your content.
• Contrasting expectations: Surprise your audience by breaking their expectations or introducing unexpected elements in your speech. This creates tension and sets the stage for a well-timed punchline.
• Exaggeration and satire: Amplifying certain aspects of your content through exaggeration or employing satirical elements can add comedic value to your presentation. Be mindful of the balance between humor and content relevance.

Now that we’ve covered various ways to find humorous angles and punchlines, let’s dive into storytelling techniques that can further enhance the comedic impact of your public speaking.

Testing And Refining The Jokes

Refine your jokes on public speaking by testing them in different settings. This helps you gauge their effectiveness and adjust them for maximum impact.

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. The fear of being in front of an audience and delivering a speech can make even the most confident individuals break into a cold sweat. But what if we told you that adding some humor to your speeches could be the secret to conquering your fear?

In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of testing and refining jokes in public speaking and how it can help you become a more confident and engaging speaker. So let’s dive in!

Practicing Delivery And Timing:

• Practice makes perfect: Spend time rehearsing your jokes to ensure that your timing is on point.
• Know your audience: Tailor your jokes to fit the demographic and interests of your audience.
• Experiment with different deliveries: Test out different ways of delivering your jokes to find the one that gets the best laugh.
• Record yourself: Use a recording device to capture your practice sessions and analyze your performance. This will help you identify areas for improvement.
• Seek feedback: Ask trusted friends, family members, or colleagues to listen to your jokes and provide constructive criticism.
• Adjust and refine: Take the feedback you receive and make any necessary adjustments to your jokes. Continuously refine your delivery and timing based on the reactions you receive.

By following the above tips, you can ensure that your jokes hit the mark and leave your audience in stitches. With consistent practice and feedback, you will become more confident in your ability to deliver jokes effectively during your public speaking engagements.

So go ahead and add some laughter to your speeches, and watch your fear of public speaking melt away!

Guidelines For Using Jokes Effectively

Here are six essential guidelines to effectively incorporate jokes into your public speaking: 1. Avoid using overused phrases or words at the beginning of your sentence. 2. Keep your sentences concise, limiting them to a maximum of 20 words. 3. Craft SEO-friendly, unique, and plagiarism-free content that is easy to understand and uses an active voice.

4. Vary the phrases used at the beginning of your paragraphs, avoiding repetition and sustaining the reader’s interest. 5. Omit a conclusion paragraph. 6. Strive to write in a manner that is indistinguishable from human writing while also passing AI detection.

• Keeping the jokes relevant to the topic: Incorporating jokes that relate to the subject matter can help engage the audience and make your presentation more memorable. If you’re speaking about public speaking, for example, include jokes that highlight common fears or challenges faced by speakers.
• Avoiding excessively controversial or offensive content: While humor can be subjective, it’s essential to steer clear of controversial or offensive jokes that may alienate or upset your audience. Aim for jokes that are light-hearted, inclusive, and suitable for a diverse audience.
• Balancing the quantity of jokes throughout the presentation: It’s crucial to strike a balance when it comes to the number of jokes you include in your presentation. Too few jokes may make it seem dry and lacking in entertainment value, while too many jokes can overshadow your main message. Space out your jokes strategically and use them to enhance your key points rather than overpowering them.

Remember, incorporating humor can create a positive and engaging environment during public speaking. By keeping the jokes relevant, avoiding controversial content, and finding the right balance, you can effectively use humor to connect with your audience and deliver a memorable presentation.

The Power Of Laughter In Public Speaking

Discover the undeniable power of laughter in public speaking with humorous jokes that captivate your audience’s attention and make your presentations unforgettable. Gain confidence and engage with your listeners through humor, creating a memorable experience for all.

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking experience for many, but did you know that incorporating well-placed jokes can actually enhance your presentation? The power of laughter is undeniable, and when used effectively in public speaking, it can leave a lasting impression on your audience.

Striking a balance between humor and professionalism is key, ensuring that your jokes resonate with your listeners without overshadowing the main message of your speech. In this section, we will explore the importance of leaving a lasting impression with well-placed jokes and discuss how to strike that delicate balance between humor and professionalism.

Leaving A Lasting Impression With Well-Placed Jokes:

• Engage your audience: A well-timed joke can instantly capture the attention of your listeners, making them more receptive to the rest of your presentation.
• Create a relaxed atmosphere: Laughter can help to break the ice and lighten the mood, making your audience more relaxed and open to receiving your message.
• Foster a connection: Sharing a light-hearted moment with your audience through jokes creates a sense of camaraderie and can help you establish a stronger rapport with them.
• Improve information retention: People are more likely to remember information that is presented in an engaging and entertaining way. Incorporating jokes into your speech can help enhance the memorability of your key points.
• Relieve tension: Public speaking can generate anxiety for both the speaker and the audience. Well-placed jokes can help diffuse nervous energy and reduce tension, creating a more enjoyable and memorable experience for everyone.

Remember, it is crucial to strike a balance between humor and professionalism. Avoid jokes that may offend or alienate your audience and ensure that the humor aligns with the overall tone and purpose of your speech. By leaving a lasting impression through well-placed jokes, you can create a positive and memorable experience for your audience.

So go ahead and add a touch of humor to your next public speaking engagement!

Frequently Asked Questions

How can i overcome public speaking anxiety.

To overcome public speaking anxiety, practice regularly, breathe deeply before speaking, visualize success, and focus on connecting with your audience rather than on your own nervousness. Additionally, joining a public speaking group or seeking professional guidance can provide you with valuable techniques and support.

What Are Some Tips For Delivering A Funny Speech?

To deliver a funny speech, start with a humorous opening, use appropriate timing and pacing, incorporate relatable anecdotes and jokes, and maintain a confident and playful delivery. Remember to gauge the audience’s reaction and adjust accordingly, and don’t be afraid to use self-deprecating humor if it suits your style.

How Can Humor Enhance A Public Speaking Engagement?

Humor can enhance a public speaking engagement by capturing the audience’s attention, creating a positive and engaging atmosphere, and helping to build a connection between the speaker and the audience. It can also make the content more memorable and relatable, and reduce tension or anxiety in both the speaker and listeners.

Public speaking can be a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be a source of anxiety. By learning to approach the situation with a sense of humor, we can alleviate some of the stress and even turn it into an enjoyable experience.

Jokes and humor can help break the ice, engage the audience, and make the speaker feel more at ease. Whether it’s poking fun at our own nervousness or sharing a lighthearted anecdote, incorporating humor into public speaking can create a positive atmosphere and leave a lasting impression.

So next time you find yourself in front of a crowd, remember to lighten the mood with a well-timed joke or funny story. Embrace the power of laughter and watch your public speaking skills soar. Don’t be afraid to embrace the humor and remember, the more fun you have, the more fun your audience will have too.

Public speaking doesn’t have to be scary, it can be a whole lot of fun!

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Public Speaking Jokes

Using public speaking jokes or stories in a speech can be an effective method of connecting with an audience.

It's a great way to get your presentation off to a good start, with a lot of positive momentum.

BUT... you'll run into problems if you don't structure the joke or story properly, or don't rehearse it enough.

The LAST thing you want to do is begin your speech with a dud of a joke or story. Then you'll spend the rest of the speech fighting to get your audience back, rather than riding a wave of audience approval!

Ideally - tell a funny personal story

Ideally, you should tell stories that are unique to your experience; ones that happened to you personally. The reason this works out so well is that it rings true. You are repeating the story with conviction because you were there and the audience can feel the genuineness and authenticity in your voice and delivery.

But, structure your public speaking jokes or stories properly for hilarious impact

It's unfortunate then, that real stories often end up with blank stares and the speaker saying, "Well, I guess you had to be there." The fact is, whether a story is true or not, it must be structured properly to elicit laughter. Many times a speaker will tell a story whose humor relies on certain qualities of the characters in the story that the audience does not know. If you tell a public speaking joke or story that hinges on the fact that your cousin is afraid of water, and the audience neither knows your cousin, nor this pertinent information, the story will die. And too often, this is the type of story audiences get. The opposite problem is when speakers use known public speaking jokes or stories but do not alter them to fit their circumstances enough. They begin a speech by saying, "Before I begin let me tell you the story of the nun and the monkey," and then tell a standard joke that is loosely connected to their speech. You can see the “eye rolls” throughout the room.

A better strategy is to find a story that fits you fairly closely and then modify it as if it actually happened to you.

For example, if you grew up in Catholic school and had to give a speech on creative thinking in business, you could tell this joke:

"Creative thinking is so important in today's business world. I remember one day when I was a kid in Catholic school I created a different way of looking at things. I was in the lunch line at St. Timothy's and came upon a pile of apples. Sister Margaret had printed a little sign that said, 'Only take one, please. God is watching.' A little further down the line I came upon a big pile of cookies. So I took out my pen and a piece of paper and wrote a sign that said, 'Take as many cookies as you want. God is watching the apples.'"

Now, whether you think that particular public speaking joke is the height of humor or not, I think you will agree the story is much more effective when the speaker tells it as if they were the subject of the story.

If you tell it in the third person, it is much less effective. And a story like that could be changed to Hebrew School, Sunday School, Summer School or whatever.

The truth is audiences do not care if public speaking jokes are true or not, they just want a good story that makes them laugh and feel good. For true stories, structure them so that an audience has all the information they need to get the joke.

Or, take one of the many public speaking jokes out there, modify it to your own background and tell it as if it actually happened to you. With a well structured story delivered with conviction - and a huge dose of blarney! - you are on your way to winning speeches.

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10 Public Speaking Ice Breakers That Actually Work

An icebreaker is an activity in public speaking that is designed to engage the audience and break the ice to get them ready to hear what you’re about to say. However, many of the icebreakers out there that the internet sites recommend are pretty average at best and in most cases downright awkward to use.

So I wanted to compile the list of 10 icebreakers that actually work.

[youtube id=”7hXF7vVEs5A” mode=”normal”]

So what are these 10 icebreakers that actually work?

Now I’m going to break these into two distinct categories:

1) icebreakers for larger groups of people

2) icebreakers for smaller groups of people.

Now I’m going to assume that you’re in a more formal public speaking setting.

When you’re in a more informal, maybe a really small training group, where it is very hands on then these icebreakers might not work as well and you might need something that is more interactive.

But I’m assuming we’re at corporate meeting or a conference,or a church event or something like that Where it’s more formal public speaking engagement. So what are some of the icebreakers that we can use?

Public speaking ice breakers for large groups

1. make a joke at your own expense.

Now, I want to say – avoid making really lame,very generalised jokes that don’t have to do with you. Definitely avoid jokes that might offend someone as well!

You don’t want to make a joke at the expense of anyone in the audience, a joke at the expense of the company, or a joke at the expense who’s introduced you, but the joke at the expense of yourself tends to work really well because you’re pointing at yourself so people can just laugh along with that.

Jokes like…

“Before coming here tonight I was discussing my talk with my wife and she said to me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual, just be yourself.’”

Don’t expect full blown laughter with any of these jokes, but it’s just kind of a teaser, just kind of warms it up.

If you’re at a formal dinner setting, and everyone’s getting the same meal or they have two alternating meals, you can say:

“Don’t you think it’s amazing that 200 of us all came together tonight and we all chose the same meal?”

They’re corny but sometimes they can work.

You could say: “Look, I have a bad feeling about this, I was talking to [whoever introduced you], they said they were going to tell a joke before I spoke but instead they just introduced me.”

So you’re implying you’re the joke.

These are some ideas for a couple of jokes that you can do, obviously one that you come up yourself is probably better.

Tie in the context of the company you work for or the situation you’re in. The more personal and more appropriate to the situation, the better are the jokes going to work.

2. OPEN WITH ‘RAISE-YOUR-HAND’ QUESTIONS

You want to do a couple of things before when you’re doing raise your hand questions.

Firstly, you want to be positive with your raise your hand questions . Like: “Raise your hands if you want to be happy in life!” “Raise your hand if you want to make a million dollars!”

You don’t want to create negative raise your hand questions , because then you’re going to create a negative environment. So you’re saying: “Raise your hand if you don’t have much to show for the last year!” It’s not going to make people feel very good about themselves.

And when you’re doing raise your hand questions try to ask questions that most people are going to raise their hand to.

The whole idea of the raise your hand questions is to get audience’s engagement, and to get group involvement, so the people on the outskirts who aren’t really getting into your talk feel like they should get into your talk.

So if you open with a raise your hand question to which only person in the room can raise hand to, it’s going to be pretty awkward for that person. But if you ask a question where 9 out of 10 people raise their hand, that one person that doesn’t raise their hand kind of feels awkward because they’re not doing it.

It’s like using positive peer pressure.

3. START A STORY BUT DON’T FINISH IT

So when you get there, just say: “I just want to tell you a story that I think it is very important for my speech today.” Or you go on and tell your story, but you leave the conclusion out and you say: “I’ll get back to that towards the end.”

And so what you’re doing – you’re drawing people in with stories, but you’re not finishing your story so it keeps them engaged.

4. GET AN INTRODUCTION

A lot of people wouldn’t classify this as an icebreaker, but it really is. Get someone to introduce you and talk you up a little bit and get people warmed up for you as you come on to the stage.

Then the audience is anticipating your coming and you don’t need to break the ice as much because it’s already been a little bit broken for you.

5. BREAK SOME NEWS (BIG OR SMALL)

I was recently reading Robert Kiyosaki’s book, Retire Young, Retire Rich. And he talks about an investment talk that he did, and he couldn’t think how to open his presentation.

As he was reading the morning paper, he came across a story about a couple who had retired about 10 years early. But he then used that news to tie into his story.

So when you get up on stage and you say: “I’ve read this really interesting article in the paper today,” or “Something really interesting or strange happened to me today.”

We are inclined as a culture to want to be ‘in the know’ so when something is happening in the news and people are talking about it we want to hear what it is.

So that’s a good way to get people engaged – to break some sort of news, whether it’s news that’s happened in your country or on the globe or whether it’s just something new that has happened in your life that’s a bit odd and a bit interesting.

6. ASK EVERYONE TO COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK

Get the audience to say to the person next to them: “I’m so glad you’re here today.”

So everyone in the audience has to say that. Or tell them to give the person next to you a high five or give the person a handshake or turn around and say hello to the person behind you or in front of you.

So you get people to complete this small menial task that engages them with people around them and just kind of opens them up and gets them a little more engaged in your presentation.

7. OPEN WITH A QUOTE

Probably not the best icebreaker in the world but it can work especially if it’s a great quote and if it’s very specific to what you’re going to be talking about. Keep it specific to the context or make it a little bit funny.

So surf the internet and look for some quotes and potentially open with a quote.

PUBLIC SPEAKING ICE BREAKERS FOR SMALLER GROUPS

So public speaking icebreakers for smaller groups.

8. GET EVERYONE TO INTRODUCE THEMSELVES AS A SUPERMARKET ITEM (OR SOMETHING ELSE)

Get everyone to introduce themselves in a strange way.

You could say: “I want everyone to go around the room and I want you to introduce yourself, introduce your name, and then tell us what item in the super market you would be?” or “what item in a hardware store you would be?” or “what kind of fruit you would be?” or “what kind of dish you would be?”

Or you could even do something like: “What is your porn star name?” (which is the name of your first pet, and then your last name as your porn star name is the name of the first street you lived in). So use these sorts of funny things, funny ways for people to introduce themselves.

9. GET EACH PERSON TO INTRODUCE THE PERSON NEXT TO THEM, GIVING THEM A FICTITIOUS LIFE

This can work if the group doesn’t know each other at all, but it can also work if the group does each other and so you just say: “Look, this is Bob, and he’s actually a super hero at night, he moonlights as a super hero, and his super power is that he can spit fire,” or you make up whatever it is and people are inspired to use their creativity.

10. DO A QUIZ

This can be something like you just asking questions to the audience and they have to raise their hands if it’s yes or leave it down if it’s no.

You can have it in such a way that people stand up and if they’re wrong, then they have to sit down.

If you’re at a conference, you can do it based on previous content that they should have heard and remembered. Or you can do it based on anything.

Ice Breakers That Actually Work

So there’s some icebreakers for you – 10 icebreakers that aren’t too awkward.

They aren’t mindblowingly amazing but they do work. They are very effective and I hope that gives you a starting place to look out where you’re going to open up your speech.

12 thoughts on “10 Public Speaking Ice Breakers That Actually Work”

very exciting kind of ice breakers. I like them

I enjoyed that.

We would like to know more about ice breakers

super way to address meetings

It’s really interesting and hope to learn more in future.

this is so gonna help me with my presentation next tuesday thank you so much

Pingback: A Common Problem Among Scientists: Not Being the Best Presenters – Lesson One – The Early Career Voice

I love this! I have a graduation speech next month and will be speaking and am going with number 6! I’ve tweaked it a little bit I know its going to loosen the mood and make us connect more!

this helped me so much during my speech!!!! i recommend that you read this!!!!

I really, really liked these icebreakers. I’m gonna use them for sure in the future.

thanks so much. this is really helpful for my public speaking speech i have to prepare and give over. i feel a little more confident now.

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31 Funny Icebreaker Jokes for Work Meetings in 2024

You found our list of funny icebreaker jokes for work meetings.

Icebreaker jokes are humorous lines that break down barriers between strangers and pave the way for communication in the workplace. Professionals often use jokes to break the ice as openers to speeches, networking events, sales pitches, or conversations with coworkers.

For speech writing, you may also be interested in employee appreciation quotes or inspirational quotes for work , and jokes for work .

This list of ideas includes:

• humorous icebreakers
• funny introduction jokes
• good opening jokes
• best ice breaker lines
• jokes to break the ice
• funny jokes for work meetings
• sales jokes to break the ice
• jokes about meetings

So, here is the list!

List of icebreaker jokes

From puns to plays on words to silly statements, here is a list of jokes you can use as conversation starters.

Funny ice breakers for speeches

• We both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say, and neither do I.
• An employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up. One co-worker asks why she left that job.” It was something my boss said,” the woman replied. “Why? What did he say?” the co-worker asked. “You’re fired.”
• A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
• I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
• My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a gin and … tonic.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
• I recently started speed reading. So far, I can read “War and Peace” in ten seconds. It’s only three words, but it’s a start.
• I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

Sales jokes to break the ice

• My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my cat.
• I invented a new word! ….Plagiarism!
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
• My boss just texted me: “Send me one of your funny jokes!” I texted him back: “I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.” “That’s hilarious,” he said. “Send another one!”
• What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
• You know what a clean desk is a sign of? A cluttered desk drawer.
• My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
• Two cows are in a field. The first one says, “Mooooo!” The second one replies, “that’s what I was going to say!”
• A man enters a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?” The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.” The man replies, “That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?” “Yes,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”

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Funny icebreaker jokes for work

• Want to hear an icebreaker? Fat penguin
• Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Sure is hot in here, huh?” The other muffin screams “Aaaah! A talking muffin!”
• I’ve only been fired from a job once. It was a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
• Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.
• What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a huge plus.
• A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?” The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”
• When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.
• I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
• Two goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”
• What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
• What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves.
• What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!

Comedian Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Starting conversations with strangers can be tough, but jokes can help eliminate jitters and establish instant camaraderie. Once the group overcomes the initial awkwardness, the real conversation begins.

Next, check out our list of fun icebreaker questions and a list of the best jokes for conference speeches .

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FAQ: Icebreaker jokes

Here are some of the most common questions and answers about icebreaker jokes.

What are icebreaker jokes?

Icebreaker jokes are jokes individuals use to start conversations with unfamiliar audiences on a positive and relaxed note. These lines are often used in the workplace and at meetings to break the ice.

What are some good icebreaker jokes?

Some good icebreaker jokes include:

These jokes are sure to elicit a chuckle or smile from the audience.

What are appropriate jokes for work?

The best jokes for work are clever and disarming but also professional. While some colleagues and clients might have a high tolerance for risque humor, it is always advisable to err on the side of caution and keep it clean. Though some clean jokes border on cheesy, the humor is sure to lighten the mood without making anyone angry or uncomfortable.

Author: Angela Robinson

Marketing Coordinator at teambuilding.com. Team building content expert. Angela has a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and worked as a community manager with Yelp to plan events for businesses.

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How to Start a Speech: Tips and Examples for a Captivating Opening

By Status.net Editorial Team on December 12, 2023 — 11 minutes to read

When preparing a speech, knowing your audience is key. To tailor your message, consider their interests, demographics, and needs.

Choosing the Right Opening Line

Finding the perfect opening line for your speech is crucial in grabbing your audience’s attention. A strong opening line sets the stage for the points you want to make and helps you establish a connection with your listeners. Here are a few tips and examples to help you choose the right opening line.

1. Start with a question

Engage your audience from the very beginning by asking them a thought-provoking question related to your topic. This approach encourages them to think, and it can create a sense of anticipation about what’s coming next.

• “Have you ever wondered how much time we spend on our phones every day?”

2. Share a personal story

A relatable personal story can create an emotional connection with your audience. Make sure your story is short, relevant to your speech, and ends with a clear point.

• “When I was a child, my grandmother used to tell me that every kind deed we do plants a seed of goodness in the world. It was this philosophy that inspired me to start volunteering.”

3. Use a quote or a statistic

Incorporate a powerful quote or an intriguing statistic at the outset of your speech to engage your audience and provide context for your topic.

• “As the great Maya Angelou once said, ‘People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'”

4. Make them laugh

Injecting a little humor into your opening line puts everyone at ease and makes your speech more memorable. Just make sure your joke is relevant and doesn’t offend your audience.

• “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!”

5. Paint a mental picture

Draw your audience in by describing a vivid scene or painting an illustration in their minds. This creates an immersive experience that makes it easier for your audience to follow your speech.

• “Picture this: you’re walking down the beach, and you look out on the horizon. The sun is setting, and the sky is a breathtaking canvas of reds, oranges, and pinks.”

Using a Personal Story

Sharing a personal story can be a highly effective way to engage your audience from the very beginning of your speech. When you open your talk with a powerful, relatable story, it helps create an emotional connection with your listeners, making them more invested in what you have to say.

Think about an experience from your life that is relevant to the topic of your speech. Your story doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic, but it should be clear and vivid. Include enough detail to paint a picture in your audience’s minds, but keep it concise and on point.

The key to successfully using a personal story is to make it relatable. Choose a situation that your audience can empathize with or easily understand. For instance, if you’re giving a speech about overcoming adversity, you could talk about a time where you faced a seemingly insurmountable challenge and overcame it.

Make sure to connect your story to the main point or theme of your speech. After sharing your experience, explain how it relates to the topic at hand, and let your audience see the relevance to their own lives. This will make your speech more impactful and show your listeners why your personal story holds meaning.

Making a Shocking Statement

Starting your speech with a shocking statement can instantly grab your audience’s attention. This technique works especially well when your speech topic relates to a hot-button issue or a controversial subject. Just make sure that the statement is relevant and true, as false claims may damage your credibility.

For example, “Believe it or not, 90% of startups fail during their first five years in the market.” This statement might surprise your listeners and make them more receptive to your ideas on how to avoid pitfalls and foster a successful business.

So next time you’re crafting a speech, consider opening with a powerful shocking statement. It could be just the thing to get your audience sitting up and paying full attention. (Try to keep your shocking statement relevant to your speech topic and factual to enhance your credibility.)

Using Humor

Humor can be an excellent way to break the ice and grab your audience’s attention. Opening your speech with a funny story or a joke can make a memorable first impression. Just be sure to keep it relevant to your topic and audience.

A good joke can set a light-hearted tone, lead into the importance of effective time management, and get your audience engaged from the start.

When using humor in your speech, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

• Be relatable: Choose a story or joke that your audience can easily relate to. It will be more engaging and connect your listeners to your message.
• Keep it appropriate: Make sure the humor fits the occasion and audience. Stay away from controversial topics and avoid offending any particular group.
• Practice your delivery: Timing and delivery are essential when telling a joke. Practice saying it out loud and adjust your pacing and tone of voice to ensure your audience gets the joke.
• Go with the flow: If your joke flops or doesn’t get the reaction you were hoping for, don’t panic or apologize. Simply move on to the next part of your speech smoothly, and don’t let it shake your confidence.
• Don’t overdo it: While humor can be useful in capturing your audience’s attention, remember that you’re not a stand-up comedian. Use it sparingly and focus on getting your message across clearly and effectively.

Incorporating a Quote

When you want to start your speech with a powerful quote, ensure that the quote is relevant to your topic. Choose a quote from a credible source, such as a famous historical figure, a well-known author, or a respected expert in your field. This will not only grab your audience’s attention but also establish your speech’s credibility.

For example, if you’re giving a speech about resilience, you might use this quote by Nelson Mandela: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Once you’ve found the perfect quote, integrate it smoothly into your speech’s introduction. You can briefly introduce the source of the quote, providing context for why their words are significant. For example:

Nelson Mandela, an inspirational leader known for his perseverance, once said: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

When you’re incorporating a quote in your speech, practice your delivery to ensure it has the intended impact. Focus on your tone, pace, and pronunciation. By doing so, you can convey the quote’s meaning effectively and connect with your audience emotionally.

Lastly, connect the quote to your main points by briefly explaining how it relates to the subject matter of your speech. By creating a natural transition from the quote to your topic, you can maintain your audience’s interest and set the stage for a compelling speech.

In our resilience example, this could look like:

“This quote by Mandela beautifully illustrates the power of resilience. Today, I want to share with you some stories of remarkable individuals who, like Mandela, overcame obstacles and rose every time they fell. Through their experiences, we might learn how to cultivate our own resilience and make the most of life’s challenges.”

Starting with a Question

Opening your speech with a question can be a great way to engage your audience from the start. This strategy encourages your listeners to think and become active participants in your presentation. Your opening question should be related to your core message, sparking their curiosity, and setting the stage for the following content. Here are a few examples:

• For a motivational speech : “Have you ever wondered what you would do if you couldn’t fail?”
• For a business presentation : “What’s the biggest challenge your team faces daily, and how can we overcome it?”
• For an educational talk : “How does the way we use technology today impact the future of our society?”

When choosing the right starting question, consider your audience. You want to ask something that is relevant to their experiences and interests. The question should be interesting enough to draw their attention and resonate with their emotions. For instance, if you’re presenting to a group of entrepreneurs, gear your question towards entrepreneurship, and so on.

To boost your question’s impact, consider using rhetorical questions. These don’t require a verbal response, but get your audience thinking about their experiences or opinions. Here’s an example:

• For an environmental speech : “What kind of world do we want to leave for our children?”

After posing your question, take a moment to let it sink in, and gauge the audience’s reaction. You can also use a brief pause to give the listeners time to think about their answers before moving on with your speech.

Acknowledging the Occasion

When starting a speech, you can acknowledge the occasion that brought everyone together. This helps create a connection with your audience and sets the stage for the rest of your speech. Make sure to mention the event name, its purpose, and any relevant individuals or groups you would like to thank for organizing it. For example:

“Hello everyone, and welcome to the 10th annual Charity Gala Dinner. I’m truly grateful to the fundraising committee for inviting me to speak tonight.”

After addressing the event itself, include a brief personal touch to show your connection with the topic or the audience. This helps the audience relate to you and gain interest in what you have to say. Here’s an example:

“As a long-time supporter of this cause, I am honored to share my thoughts on how we can continue making a difference in our community.”

Next, give a brief overview of your speech so the audience knows what to expect. This sets the context and helps them follow your points. You could say something like:

“Tonight, I’ll be sharing my experiences volunteering at the local food bank and discussing the impact of your generous donations.”

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective opening lines for speeches.

A powerful opening line will grab your audience’s attention and set the stage for the rest of your speech. Some effective opening lines include:

• Start with a bold statement: “The world needs your creativity now more than ever.”
• Share a surprising fact: “Did you know that the average person spends (…) years of their life at work?”
• Pose a thought-provoking question: “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”
• Tell a short, engaging story: “When I was 10 years old, I discovered my passion for baking in my grandmother’s kitchen.”

Can you provide examples of engaging introductions for speeches?

• Use humor: “As a kid, I believed that 7 pm bedtime was a form of torture. Now, as an adult, I find myself dreaming of 7 pm bedtime.”
• Share a personal experience: “On a trip to Italy, I found myself lost in the winding streets of a small village. It was there, amidst my confusion, that I stumbled upon the best gelato I’d ever tasted.”
• Use an analogy: “Starting a new business is like taking a journey into the unknown. There will be challenges to overcome, and you’ll need resilience, determination, and a strong compass.”

Which speech styles can make a powerful impact on the audience?

Different speech styles will resonate with different audiences. Some styles to consider include:

• Inspirational: Motivate your audience to take action or overcome challenges.
• Storytelling: Share personal experiences or anecdotes to illustrate your points and keep listeners engaged.
• Educational: Provide useful information and insights to help your audience learn or grow.
• Persuasive: Present a compelling argument to convince your audience to adopt a particular perspective or take specific action.

How do successful speakers establish a connection with their listeners?

Establishing a connection with your listeners is key to delivering an impactful speech. Some ways to connect with your audience include:

• Show empathy: Demonstrating understanding and concern for your audience’s feelings and experiences will generate a sense of trust and connection.
• Be relatable: Share personal stories or examples that allow your audience to see themselves in your experiences, thus making your speech more relatable.
• Keep it genuine: Avoid overrehearsing or coming across as scripted. Instead, strive for authenticity and flexibility in your delivery.
• Encourage participation: Engaging your audience through questions, activities, or conversation can help build rapport and make them feel more involved.

What are some techniques for maintaining a friendly and professional tone in speeches?

To maintain a friendly and professional tone in your speeches, consider these tips:

• Balance humor and seriousness: Use humor to lighten the mood and engage your audience, but make sure to also cover the serious points in your speech.
• Speak naturally: Use your everyday vocabulary and avoid jargon or overly formal language when possible.
• Show respect: Acknowledge differing opinions and experiences, and treat your audience with courtesy and fairness.
• Provide useful information: Offer valuable insights and solutions to your audience’s concerns, ensuring they leave your speech feeling more informed and empowered.
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Funny opening lines for speeches

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Opening lines are crucial when it comes to delivering a speech that captures the audience’s attention. A funny opening line can set the tone for an engaging and memorable speech. If you want to learn how to add humor to your speeches and make a lasting impression, then keep reading. In this article, we will share a variety of funny opening lines that will help you break the ice and connect with your audience. Whether you are giving a presentation, a toast, or a motivational speech, these opening lines will help you capture your audience’s attention and keep them engaged throughout the entire speech.

Funny Opening Lines for Speeches: The Perfect Way to Break the Ice

If you’ve ever been to a public speaking event, you know just how important it is to make a good first impression. And what better way to do that than with a funny opening line? A good joke can set the mood for your entire speech, relax your audience, and make them more receptive to your message. In this article, we’ll explore some of the best funny opening lines for speeches that are sure to get your audience laughing (and listening) from the get-go.

Why Do You Need a Funny Opening Line for Your Speech?

First, let’s talk about why it’s so important to start your speech with a funny opening line. For starters, humor is a great way to capture your audience’s attention and get them engaged with what you’re saying. When you make people laugh, they’re more likely to remember what you said and respond positively to your message.

In addition to that, humor can help break the ice and put your audience at ease. If you’re speaking to a group of people who are nervous or uncomfortable, starting with a joke can help them relax and feel more comfortable. It can also help set the tone for the rest of your speech, making it easier for you to connect with your audience and keep them engaged.

Examples of Funny Opening Lines for Speeches

Now that we’ve established why a funny opening line is so important, let’s take a look at some examples of great ones you can use in your next speech:

1. “Good evening, everyone. I’m no expert on public speaking, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

This opening line is a classic because it’s funny and relatable. Everyone has felt nervous about speaking in public at some point, and this line acknowledges that while also making light of it.

2. “I’m here today to talk to you about the benefits of procrastination, but I’ll get to that later.”

This is a great opening line because it’s unexpected and catches people off guard. It’s also a bit self-deprecating, which can help put your audience at ease.

3. “I was going to start this speech with a joke about pizza, but it was a little cheesy.”

This opening line is perfect if you want to get your audience laughing right away. It’s a clever play on words that’s sure to get a chuckle.

4. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?”

This opening line is great if you want to inject a bit of humor into a more serious speech. It’s also a good way to establish your credibility and make yourself more relatable to your audience.

5. “I’m so excited to be here today that I almost wore pants.”

This opening line is perfect if you want to break the ice and make your audience feel more comfortable. It’s also a good way to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

How to Choose the Right Funny Opening Line for Your Speech

When it comes to choosing the right funny opening line for your speech, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, you want to make sure the joke is appropriate for your audience. You don’t want to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable.

Second, you want to make sure the joke is relevant to your topic. If you’re giving a speech about a serious topic, you don’t want to start with a joke that’s completely unrelated.

Finally, you want to make sure the joke is something that you’re comfortable with. If you’re not confident in your delivery or you don’t find the joke funny, it’s not going to land with your audience.

In Conclusion

A funny opening line is a great way to break the ice and get your audience engaged with your speech. Whether you’re speaking to a small group or a large audience, a good joke can set the tone for the rest of your talk and help you connect with your listeners. So the next time you’re preparing a speech, don’t be afraid to inject a bit of humor into your opening line. Your audience will thank you for it!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some funny opening lines for speeches.

– “I’m not a stand-up comedian, but I’ll do my best to make you laugh… or at least smile politely.” – “Good evening, everyone. I was told to start with a joke, so here it is: my public speaking skills.” – “Before we begin, I just want to say that I’m not nervous. I’m just practicing my interpretive dance moves in my head.” – “I was going to start with a funny story, but then I remembered that I’m not very good at telling them. So instead, I’ll just wing it and hope for the best.” – “The last time I gave a speech, I was so nervous that I forgot my own name. So if I accidentally introduce myself as Beyoncé, just go with it.”

How can I overcome my fear of public speaking?

– Practice, practice, practice. The more you speak in public, the more comfortable you will become. – Prepare thoroughly. Make sure you know your material inside and out, so you feel confident and prepared. – Focus on your breathing. Deep breathing exercises can help calm your nerves and ease anxiety. – Visualize success. Imagine yourself giving a great speech and receiving positive feedback from your audience. – Remember that mistakes happen. Even the most experienced speakers make mistakes, so don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go perfectly. Just keep going and do your best.

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15 Powerful Speech Opening Lines (And How to Create Your Own)

Hrideep barot.

• Public Speaking , Speech Writing

Powerful speech opening lines set the tone and mood of your speech. It’s what grips the audience to want to know more about the rest of your talk.

The first few seconds are critical. It’s when you have maximum attention of the audience. And you must capitalize on that!

Instead of starting off with something plain and obvious such as a ‘Thank you’ or ‘Good Morning’, there’s so much more you can do for a powerful speech opening (here’s a great article we wrote a while ago on how you should NOT start your speech ).

To help you with this, I’ve compiled some of my favourite openings from various speakers. These speakers have gone on to deliver TED talks , win international Toastmaster competitions or are just noteworthy people who have mastered the art of communication.

After each speaker’s opening line, I have added how you can include their style of opening into your own speech. Understanding how these great speakers do it will certainly give you an idea to create your own speech opening line which will grip the audience from the outset!

Alright! Let’s dive into the 15 powerful speech openings…

Note: Want to take your communications skills to the next level? Book a complimentary consultation with one of our expert communication coaches. We’ll look under the hood of your hurdles and pick two to three growth opportunities so you can speak with impact!

1. Ric Elias

Opening: “Imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. Imagine a plane full of smoke. Imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack. It sounds scary. Well I had a unique seat that day. I was sitting in 1D.”

How to use the power of imagination to open your speech?

Putting your audience in a state of imagination can work extremely well to captivate them for the remainder of your talk.

It really helps to bring your audience in a certain mood that preps them for what’s about to come next. Speakers have used this with high effectiveness by transporting their audience into an imaginary land to help prove their point.

When Ric Elias opened his speech, the detail he used (3000 ft, sound of the engine going clack-clack-clack) made me feel that I too was in the plane. He was trying to make the audience experience what he was feeling – and, at least in my opinion, he did.

When using the imagination opening for speeches, the key is – detail. While we want the audience to wander into imagination, we want them to wander off to the image that we want to create for them. So, detail out your scenario if you’re going to use this technique.

Make your audience feel like they too are in the same circumstance as you were when you were in that particular situation.

2. Barack Obama

Opening: “You can’t say it, but you know it’s true.”

3. Seth MacFarlane

Opening: “There’s nowhere I would rather be on a day like this than around all this electoral equipment.” (It was raining)

How to use humour to open your speech?

When you use humour in a manner that suits your personality, it can set you up for a great speech. Why? Because getting a laugh in the first 30 seconds or so is a great way to quickly get the audience to like you.

And when they like you, they are much more likely to listen to and believe in your ideas.

Obama effortlessly uses his opening line to entice laughter among the audience. He brilliantly used the setting (the context of Trump becoming President) and said a line that completely matched his style of speaking.

Saying a joke without really saying a joke and getting people to laugh requires you to be completely comfortable in your own skin. And that’s not easy for many people (me being one of them).

If the joke doesn’t land as expected, it could lead to a rocky start.

Keep in mind the following when attempting to deliver a funny introduction:

• Know your audience: Make sure your audience gets the context of the joke (if it’s an inside joke among the members you’re speaking to, that’s even better!). You can read this article we wrote where we give you tips on how you can actually get to know your audience better to ensure maximum impact with your speech openings
• The joke should suit your natural personality. Don’t make it look forced or it won’t elicit the desired response
• Test the opening out on a few people who match your real audience. Analyze their response and tweak the joke accordingly if necessary
• Starting your speech with humour means your setting the tone of your speech. It would make sense to have a few more jokes sprinkled around the rest of the speech as well as the audience might be expecting the same from you

4. Mohammed Qahtani

Opening: Puts a cigarette on his lips, lights a lighter, stops just before lighting the cigarette. Looks at audience, “What?”

5. Darren Tay

Opening: Puts a white pair of briefs over his pants.

How to use props to begin your speech?

The reason props work so well in a talk is because in most cases the audience is not expecting anything more than just talking. So when a speaker pulls out an object that is unusual, everyone’s attention goes right to it.

It makes you wonder why that prop is being used in this particular speech.

The key word here is unusual . To grip the audience’s attention at the beginning of the speech, the prop being used should be something that the audience would never expect. Otherwise, it just becomes something that is common. And common = boring!

What Mohammed Qahtani and Darren Tay did superbly well in their talks was that they used props that nobody expected them to.

By pulling out a cigarette and lighter or a white pair of underwear, the audience can’t help but be gripped by what the speaker is about to do next. And that makes for a powerful speech opening.

6. Simon Sinek

Opening: “How do you explain when things don’t go as we assume? Or better, how do you explain when others are able to achieve things that seem to defy all of the assumptions?”

7. Julian Treasure

Opening: “The human voice. It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world. Probably the only one that can start a war or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak people don’t listen to them. Why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?”

How to use questions to open a speech?

I use this method often. Starting off with a question is the simplest way to start your speech in a manner that immediately engages the audience.

But we should keep our questions compelling as opposed to something that is fairly obvious.

I’ve heard many speakers start their speeches with questions like “How many of us want to be successful?”

No one is going to say ‘no’ to that and frankly, I just feel silly raising my hand at such questions.

Simon Sinek and Jullian Treasure used questions in a manner that really made the audience think and make them curious to find out what the answer to that question is.

What Jullian Treasure did even better was the use of a few statements which built up to his question. This made the question even more compelling and set the theme for what the rest of his talk would be about.

So think of what question you can ask in your speech that will:

• Set the theme for the remainder of your speech
• Not be something that is fairly obvious
• Be compelling enough so that the audience will actually want to know what the answer to that question will be

8. Aaron Beverley

Opening: Long pause (after an absurdly long introduction of a 57-word speech title). “Be honest. You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

How to use silence for speech openings?

The reason this speech opening stands out is because of the fact that the title itself is 57 words long. The audience was already hilariously intrigued by what was going to come next.

But what’s so gripping here is the way Aaron holds the crowd’s suspense by…doing nothing. For about 10 to 12 seconds he did nothing but stand and look at the audience. Everyone quietened down. He then broke this silence by a humorous remark that brought the audience laughing down again.

When going on to open your speech, besides focusing on building a killer opening sentence, how about just being silent?

It’s important to keep in mind that the point of having a strong opening is so that the audience’s attention is all on you and are intrigued enough to want to listen to the rest of your speech.

Silence is a great way to do that. When you get on the stage, just pause for a few seconds (about 3 to 5 seconds) and just look at the crowd. Let the audience and yourself settle in to the fact that the spotlight is now on you.

I can’t put my finger on it, but there is something about starting the speech off with a pure pause that just makes the beginning so much more powerful. It adds credibility to you as a speaker as well, making you look more comfortable and confident on stage. 

If you want to know more about the power of pausing in public speaking , check out this post we wrote. It will give you a deeper insight into the importance of pausing and how you can harness it for your own speeches. You can also check out this video to know more about Pausing for Public Speaking:

9. Dan Pink

Opening: “I need to make a confession at the outset here. Little over 20 years ago, I did something that I regret. Something that I’m not particularly proud of. Something that in many ways I wish no one would ever know but that here I feel kind of obliged to reveal.”

10. Kelly McGonigal

Opening: “I have a confession to make. But first I want you to make a little confession to me.”

How to use a build-up to open your speech?

When there are so many amazing ways to start a speech and grip an audience from the outset, why would you ever choose to begin your speech with a ‘Good morning?’.

That’s what I love about build-ups. They set the mood for something awesome that’s about to come in that the audience will feel like they just have to know about.

Instead of starting a speech as it is, see if you can add some build-up to your beginning itself. For instance, in Kelly McGonigal’s speech, she could have started off with the question of stress itself (which she eventually moves on to in her speech). It’s not a bad way to start the speech.

But by adding the statement of “I have a confession to make” and then not revealing the confession for a little bit, the audience is gripped to know what she’s about to do next and find out what indeed is her confession.

11. Tim Urban

Opening: “So in college, I was a government major. Which means that I had to write a lot of papers. Now when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this.”

12. Scott Dinsmore

Opening: “8 years ago, I got the worst career advice of my life.”

How to use storytelling as a speech opening?

“The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.” Steve Jobs

Storytelling is the foundation of good speeches. Starting your speech with a story is a great way to grip the audience’s attention. It makes them yearn to want to know how the rest of the story is going to pan out.

Tim Urban starts off his speech with a story dating back to his college days. His use of slides is masterful and something we all can learn from. But while his story sounds simple, it does the job of intriguing the audience to want to know more.

As soon as I heard the opening lines, I thought to myself “If normal students write their paper in a certain manner, how does Tim write his papers?”

Combine such a simple yet intriguing opening with comedic slides, and you’ve got yourself a pretty gripping speech.

Scott Dismore’s statement has a similar impact. However, just a side note, Scott Dismore actually started his speech with “Wow, what an honour.”

I would advise to not start your talk with something such as that. It’s way too common and does not do the job an opening must, which is to grip your audience and set the tone for what’s coming.

13. Larry Smith

Opening: “I want to discuss with you this afternoon why you’re going to fail to have a great career.”

14. Jane McGonigal

Opening: “You will live 7.5 minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you watched this talk.”

How to use provocative statements to start your speech?

Making a provocative statement creates a keen desire among the audience to want to know more about what you have to say. It immediately brings everyone into attention.

Larry Smith did just that by making his opening statement surprising, lightly humorous, and above all – fearful. These elements lead to an opening statement which creates so much curiosity among the audience that they need to know how your speech pans out.

This one time, I remember seeing a speaker start a speech with, “Last week, my best friend committed suicide.” The entire crowd was gripped. Everyone could feel the tension in the room.

They were just waiting for the speaker to continue to know where this speech will go.

That’s what a hard-hitting statement does, it intrigues your audience so much that they can’t wait to hear more! Just a tip, if you do start off with a provocative, hard-hitting statement, make sure you pause for a moment after saying it.

Silence after an impactful statement will allow your message to really sink in with the audience.

Related article: 5 Ways to Grab Your Audience’s Attention When You’re Losing it!

15. Ramona J Smith

Opening: In a boxing stance, “Life would sometimes feel like a fight. The punches, jabs and hooks will come in the form of challenges, obstacles and failures. Yet if you stay in the ring and learn from those past fights, at the end of each round, you’ll be still standing.”

How to use your full body to grip the audience at the beginning of your speech?

In a talk, the audience is expecting you to do just that – talk. But when you enter the stage and start putting your full body into use in a way that the audience does not expect, it grabs their attention.

Body language is critical when it comes to public speaking. Hand gestures, stage movement, facial expressions are all things that need to be paid attention to while you’re speaking on stage. But that’s not I’m talking about here.

Here, I’m referring to a unique use of the body that grips the audience, like how Ramona did. By using her body to get into a boxing stance, imitating punches, jabs and hooks with her arms while talking – that’s what got the audience’s attention.

The reason I say this is so powerful is because if you take Ramona’s speech and remove the body usage from her opening, the entire magic of the opening falls flat.

While the content is definitely strong, without those movements, she would not have captured the audience’s attention as beautifully as she did with the use of her body.

So if you have a speech opening that seems slightly dull, see if you can add some body movement to it.

If your speech starts with a story of someone running, actually act out the running. If your speech starts with a story of someone reading, actually act out the reading.

It will make your speech opening that much more impactful.

Related article: 5 Body Language Tips to Command the Stage

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Final Words

So there it is! 15 speech openings from some of my favourite speeches. Hopefully, these will act as a guide for you to create your own opening which is super impactful and sets you off on the path to becoming a powerful public speaker!

But remember, while a speech opening is super important, it’s just part of an overall structure.

If you’re serious about not just creating a great speech opening but to improve your public speaking at an overall level, I would highly recommend you to check out this course: Acumen Presents: Chris Anderson on Public Speaking on Udemy. Not only does it have specific lectures on starting and ending a speech, but it also offers an in-depth guide into all the nuances of public speaking. 

Being the founder of TED Talks, Chris Anderson provides numerous examples of the best TED speakers to give us a very practical way of overcoming stage fear and delivering a speech that people will remember. His course has helped me personally and I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking to learn public speaking. 

No one is ever “done” learning public speaking. It’s a continuous process and you can always get better. Keep learning, keep conquering and keep being awesome!

Lastly, if you want to know how you should NOT open your speech, we’ve got a video for you:

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Crack a Smile with 97+ Good Opening Jokes

Introduction.

In the realm of humor, a good opening can set the stage for a cascade of laughter. Whether it’s a witty remark or a clever quip, the power of a well-crafted joke is undeniable. 

Let’s dive into a collection of rib-tickling jokes about good openings that are sure to leave you chuckling.

Read More: Jokes About Frat

Good Opening Jokes

• Why did the door hesitate to open? It wanted to make a good first impression.
• What do you call a polite entrance? A door with manners – it always makes a good opening.
• Why did the skeleton refuse to go through the door? It didn’t have the guts to make an entrance.
• How does a comedian start their set? With a good opening line, of course!
• Why did the bookcase apologize? It realized it wasn’t shelving up to a good opening.
• What did the doormat say to the doorway? “You always make a good entrance, unlike me – I’m just walked all over.”
• Why did the actor audition for the role of a door? He wanted to master the art of a good opening.
• What do you call a door that’s always punctual? A timely entrance – it knows the importance of a good opening.
• Why did the chef always use the oven door? It knew it could bake a good opening pie.
• How does a comedian enter a room? With a punchline – it’s the key to a good opening!
• Why did the computer mouse hesitate to click? It wanted to ensure a good opening in the conversation.
• How does a magician start their act? With a good opening trick, of course!
• What did the envelope say to the letter? “Let’s seal this with a good opening!”
• Why did the suitcase feel nervous? It wanted to make a good opening statement at the luggage carousel.
• How does a jokester introduce themselves? With a good opening pun, naturally!
• Why did the umbrella feel confident? It knew it could make a good opening – rain or shine!
• What did the clock say to the hour hand? “Let’s ensure a good opening for this time of day!”
• How does a chef prepare for a cooking show? By ensuring they have a good opening recipe.
• Why did the flower hesitate to bloom? It wanted to ensure a good opening for its debut.
• How does a musician start their performance? With a good opening note – it sets the melody for success!
• Why did the comedian bring a ladder on stage? To ensure a good opening stand-up routine!
• What did the toast say to the toaster? “Let’s aim for a good opening – no burnt edges, please!”
• How does a poet begin their masterpiece? With a good opening stanza, painting vivid imagery.
• Why did the curtain feel important? It knew it could make a good opening for the show.
• What did the paint can say to the brush? “Let’s collaborate for a good opening stroke!”
• How does a teacher start a lesson? With a good opening question, sparking curiosity.
• Why did the refrigerator feel confident? It knew it could provide a good opening for snacks.
• What did the actor say to the director? “I’ll ensure a good opening for the scene – cue me in!”
• Why did the greeting card hesitate to open? It wanted to ensure a good opening message inside.
• How does a writer begin crafting a story? With a good opening line, captivating readers from the start!
• Why did the comedian always carry a door? To ensure they always had a good opening.
• How does a scientist start an experiment? With a good opening hypothesis, of course!
• What did the mailbox say to the postman? “Ensure a good opening, my friend – letters await!”
• Why did the bottle of champagne feel confident? It knew it could pop off to a good opening.
• How does a singer begin their performance? With a good opening note, hitting just the right pitch.
• What did the conversation say to the silence? “Let’s break this with a good opening joke!”
• Why did the elevator feel important? It knew it could provide a good opening to each floor.
• How does a salesperson start a pitch? With a good opening line, captivating potential buyers.
• What did the oven say to the chef? “Together, let’s bake a good opening dish!”
• Why did the map hesitate to unfold? It wanted to ensure a good opening for navigation.

Read More: Jokes About Crafty

Hilarious Good Opening Jokes

• How does a tour guide begin their tour? With a good opening fact, setting the scene.
• What did the road sign say to the drivers? “Follow me for a good opening to your destination!”
• Why did the guitar feel confident? It knew it could strum to a good opening chord.
• How does a DJ start a party? With a good opening track, getting everyone on their feet.
• What did the puzzle piece say to the box? “Together, let’s ensure a good opening!”
• Why did the comedian practice knocking on doors? To ensure they always had a good opening.
• How does a coach start a game? With a good opening strategy, aiming for victory.
• What did the plant say to the sunlight? “Give me a good opening to thrive!”
• Why did the folder hesitate to open? It wanted to ensure a good opening for the documents.
• How does a chef start preparing a meal? With a good opening chop, setting the pace for culinary delight.
• Why did the storyteller always begin with “Once upon a time”? To ensure a good opening for imagination.
• How does a comedian start their set in a library? With a good opening joke – it’s novel!
• What did the doormat say to the shoes? “Step lightly for a good opening.”
• Why did the camera hesitate to capture the moment? It wanted to ensure a good opening shot.
• How does a gardener begin planting seeds? With a good opening furrow, nurturing growth.
• What did the curtain say to the audience? “Prepare for a good opening act!”
• Why did the clock hesitate to chime? It wanted to ensure a good opening for the hour.
• How does a teacher start a pop quiz? With a good opening question, keeping students on their toes.
• What did the mailbox say to the letters? “I promise a good opening for each of you!”
• Why did the comedian study door hinges? To ensure every joke had a good opening.
• Why did the author always begin their novels with “Chapter One”? To ensure a good opening for the story.
• How does a balloon artist start crafting? With a good opening twist, shaping creations.
• What did the teapot say to the kettle? “Let’s brew up a good opening for tea time!”
• Why did the soccer player hesitate before kicking off? They wanted to ensure a good opening for the match.
• How does a composer begin writing a symphony? With a good opening melody, setting the tone.
• What did the doorbell say to the house? “I’ll ensure a good opening for your guests!”
• Why did the comedian always carry a spare microphone? For a good opening, in case the first one dropped.
• How does a detective start solving a case? With a good opening clue, unraveling mysteries.
• What did the cookie jar say to the cookies? “Let’s promise a good opening for snack time!”
• Why did the painter hesitate before applying the first brushstroke? They wanted to ensure a good opening for the artwork.
• How does a chef start preparing a recipe? With a good opening ingredient, enhancing flavors.
• What did the umbrella say to the raindrops? “Let’s ensure a good opening for a drizzle dance!”
• Why did the comedian practice their knock-knock jokes? To ensure they always had a good opening.
• How does a musician begin composing a song? With a good opening chord progression, setting the rhythm.
• What did the traffic light say to the cars? “I’ll ensure a good opening for your journey!”
• Why did the actor rehearse their entrance? To ensure a good opening for their performance.
• How does a presenter start a TED Talk? With a good opening statement, captivating the audience.
• What did the oven mitt say to the chef? “Together, we’ll ensure a good opening for the baked goods!”
• Why did the comedian study stage curtains? To ensure they always had a good opening.
• How does a pilot begin a flight? With a good opening announcement, ensuring a smooth journey.

Read More: Jokes About Track And Field

Best Good Opening Jokes

• Why did the novelist always start their stories with “Once upon a time”? To ensure a good opening for readers.
• How does a sculptor begin shaping clay? With a good opening pinch, molding art.
• What did the teacup say to the saucer? “Let’s ensure a good opening for high tea!”
• Why did the soccer team practice their kickoff technique? They wanted to ensure a good opening for the game.
• How does a conductor start a symphony? With a good opening baton gesture, leading the orchestra.
• What did the doorway say to the hallway? “I’ll ensure a good opening for your guests!”
• How does a detective begin solving a mystery? With a good opening clue, piecing together evidence.
• What did the bread loaf say to the toaster? “Let’s ensure a good opening for breakfast!”
• Why did the artist carefully plan their first brushstroke? They wanted to ensure a good opening for the painting.
• How does a chef start preparing a meal? With a good opening ingredient, adding flavor.
• What did the raindrop say to the puddle? “Let’s ensure a good opening for a splash!”
• Why did the comedian always rehearse their knock-knock jokes? To ensure they always had a good opening.
• How does a musician begin writing a song? With a good opening melody, setting the tone.
• Why did the actor practice their entrance? To ensure a good opening for their performance.
• How does a presenter start a speech? With a good opening line, engaging the audience.
• What did the oven say to the chef? “Together, let’s ensure a good opening for dinner!”
• How does a pilot begin a flight? With a good opening announcement, ensuring a safe trip.

Read More: 

Jokes About Small Town

Jokes About The Matrix

A good opening not only sets the tone but also paves the way for laughter and amusement. These jokes about good openings demonstrate the beauty of humor in simple everyday situations. 

So, the next time you encounter a door or a bookcase, remember to appreciate the potential for a good opening – both literally and figuratively!

Why are good opening jokes important?

Good opening jokes set the stage for humor, engaging the audience right from the start. They create anticipation and establish a rapport between the teller and the listener. Plus, they’re just downright fun!

Can good opening jokes be used in various situations?

Absolutely! Whether you’re giving a speech, starting a conversation, or simply lightening the mood, good opening jokes are versatile and can be adapted to suit different contexts.

How can I come up with my own good opening jokes?

Look for humor in everyday situations, observe your surroundings, and play with words and concepts. Practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to experiment and refine your comedic timing.

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9 Killer Speech Openers to Start a Talk or Presentation.​

Danny Riley 8 min read

What you’ll learn:

• The importance of a “killer” speech opening.
• 9 powerful speech openers and how to use them.
• Examples from great speakers you can learn from.

Great speech openers hook your audience.

“ Well begun is half done” – Mary Poppins.

A killer speech opener will make the difference between a presentation that makes you soar or your audience snore .

I’ve researched the whole web to find nine killer speech openers to make your audience lean in and listen rather than tune out and daydream.

You’ll see how masters of the craft have used them, and how you can too.

Number seven takes hutzpah to pull off. Ready for the whole list of killer speech openers?

The Shock Opener

One of the best ways to open your speech with a buzz is to startle or shock them.

You can shock an audience in many ways, but they all rest on the major senses of VAKS:

• Kinesthetic (touch) 

We don’t want your audience tasting your talk, but it should leave a good taste in their mouths.

Changing Minds suggests asking if the audience is awake after appearing from a flashbang and a cloud of smoke, and this might work for you if you’re a magician or playing some kind of character for your speech like a genie.

Suppose you aren’t going for the magic angle. 

In that case, you can shock them on a psychological level instead, as Conor Neill recommends, and tell your audience a surprising fact or statistic that makes them question their thinking or beliefs.

“Did you know that half the water on earth is older than the sun?”

Questions like these will shake an audience awake and turn on their critical thinking nervous-system.

Don’t take my word for it; you can see an incredible demonstration of the shock opener in Mohammed Qahtani’s speech, The Power of Words .

Qahtani opens by taking out a cigarette and placing it into his mouth before trying to light it. The audience is so shocked that they gasp and tell him to stop.

Remember, if your audience is shocked, they are listening.

Your audience doesn’t always have to be jolted to attention with a shock opener, though you can use a more subtle approach to grab their focus. 

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The story opener.

You can set the tone of your speech instantly with a story .

In Hollywood, filmmakers and directors use an ‘establishing shot’ to set the tone and theme of the entire film.

When creating your speech, think of a short story that sums up your talk.

Maybe you tell half the story to begin with, and then the other half at the end. 

The important thing is your tale must be relatable . If your audience can’t imagine themselves in the story, they won’t be engaged.

We all experience very similar things in life: 

• We all went to school and had a teacher we loved
• We all have parents who loved us or made mistakes in our upbringing
• We all had a first crush.

We are all cut from the same cloth, so it’s good to be reminded that others are going through what we face or think as we do.

Bryan Stevenson does a stellar job of recounting his mischievous grandmother in his TED talk, We need to talk about an injustice .

The best thing is, you can combine a story-opener with any other speech opener in this list.

It’s truly versatile.

One of my favourite speech openers is next, though.

The Intrigue Opener

I love this speech opener.

What better way to hook your audience than to intrigue them with mystery or a juicy secret?

Take a look at Daniel Pink’s TED Talk The puzzle of motivation . After he begins, Pink, looking like a guilty man sent to the gallows tells his audience:

“I need to confess something, at the outset here. A little over 20 years ago, I did something I regret. Something I’m not particularly proud of”.

Wow. How intriguing, right?

You have to admit; you want to know what he’s about to confess.

Choose every sentence, every word, and every mark of punctuation to increase the tantalisation temperature.

Whether it’s a secret or confession, the Intrigue Opener piques just enough curiosity in your audience to keep them from checking Whatsapp.

As humans, we need closure. 

We do not like open loops. 

That’s why it is both enthralling and aggravating when someone plays on our need to be sure.

Just as we cannot stand an open loop, we are instantly engaged when someone gives us a puzzle to solve.

You’ll notice the best speeches, books, tv shows, and films do not spoon feed you all of the information.

I’ve always liked the way Malcolm Gladwell writes his non-fiction books because they contain puzzles that you solve as a reader.

This puzzle needs to be related to the speech or presentation you’re delivering, of course. It cannot be a random puzzle and will ideally be impossible or extremely difficult to solve at first.

After the speech begins and the puzzle is revealed, you should slowly drop hints on how to solve the mystery.

Up next, speech openers that use a physical object to create curiosity in the audience’s mind.

The Prop Opener

One of the most potent ways you will captivate your audience is to use a powerful prop in your opening address.

What better way to capture an audience’s imagination than to show them a mysterious or beautiful object?

If you’ve never seen the Prop Opener done well, then take a look at one of the greatest speeches of all time:

Dananjaya Hettiarachchi’s, See Something .

Danajaya enters with a simple rose in his breast pocket, takes it out, gazes at it nostalgically, smells it and then begins to speak.

This same prop appears again right at the end of his speech to end his talk with a flourish.

There are many different props you can use.

JJ Abrams used a Mystery Box to absorb the audience’s attention and used the box as a metaphor for his entire career.

If you think the prop opener is just for TED Talks and Toastmasters Final Speeches, remember that most company product launch centre around one or more props.

Steve Jobs revealed his new products in ever-innovative ways.

Still, while the last two speeches I’ve mentioned opened with physical items, most of Jobs’s presentations built intrigue through the sight of the product.

So remember, you can use an object, or tease your audience with the absence of a prop, but make that prop integral to your talk.

You don’t always have to use a prop, of course. 

A more minimalist approach to opening your speech uses the best audience reaction a speaker can receive: laughter.

The Funny Opener

Using laughter to win over your audience is the golden ticket to immediate rapport with your audience.

Jack Schafer, PhD at Psychology Today, said that People Will Like You If You Make Them Laugh , which seems obvious, but at least you know we have scientists on the case. 

He also mentions that constructing humour requires and projects a high level of intelligence .

Of course, laughter is subjective, but it is also infectious, and if you get enough members of your audience to titter, it will spread across the whole group.

If you want to see just how quickly you can win an audience over with humour, take a look at Ken Robinson’s subtle but delightful ability to raise a chuckle in his speech Do Schools Kill Creativity? 

Ken’s ability to speak conversationally to an audience of thousands is genuinely remarkable.

If you break down his humour, it is easy to see how you could include similar content in your presentations. 

Whether you can pull it off as well as Ken is another story.

Not everyone feels like they can be a comedian, though; I get that. 

Well, that’s alright because there are other ways to open your talk that play on other strong emotions.

You can inspire your audience too.

The Inspirational Opener

One of my favourite ways to help beginner speakers to open their presentation is with a quote.

A quote acts like a story in that it sets the tone and theme of your speech, but it takes much less effort and even less skill.

An effective quote is usually only one line long and supported by the credibility of the original author who uttered those words.

Watch the way Clint Smith opens his TED Talk  The Danger of Silence .

Using Martin Luther King’s voice to start his speech gives Clint what psychologists call the transference effect .

Just by citing someone else, especially someone admired and famous, you redirect the emotions an audience have towards that person onto yourself.

One caveat to using quotes, though:

Fact check them . I cringe whenever I see someone incorrectly quoting someone.

Have you ever heard the quote by Albert Einstein:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results”?

A great quote, isn’t it?

But Albert Einstein never said those words .

A quick check on Reuters will help you add more credibility to your inspirational opener.

Finally, try to use a quote few people have ever heard. Inspiring words have been filling the archives of history for millennia, so seek out something that has been left dusty on the shelf rather than the same recycled iterations.

Next, let’s look at a type of bold speech opener that take real hutzpah to land well.

The Perspective Shift Opener

A powerful speech opener that will take confidence is the perspective shift opener.

This opener will lead the audience in one direction before changing direction and setting a new pace for the speech.

Cameron Russel does a fantastic job of controlling the frame in her TED Talk Looks aren’t everything. Believe me; I’m a model.

Russel takes to the stage dressed in a skimpy dress and begins to tell the audience about her career, but then does a rapid wardrobe change on stage in front of the entire audience. 

This change of dress sets a new tone, feel, and direction for the speech.

If you can change the audience’s perspective or frame of reality, you are in the driving seat.

One of the best things you can hope for as a speaker is moving hearts and changing minds. 

If you aren’t a confident speaker, start small.

Vanessa Van Edwards suggests never mentioning how nervous you are. 

It’s distracting and makes the audience pick up on all the subtle nervous energy and cues you give off. Control the frame instead and act cool and confident: they will buy into it.

Another great way to hold frame control over an audience is by using the power of silence .

The Silence Opener

Silence is a valuable commodity in today’s noisy and distracting digital world.

Creating silence at the beginning of your talk can profoundly affect your audience and their focus.

Did you ever have a teacher at school who used silence effectively?

When my English classmates were noisy, our teacher Mr Rylance would hold up his hand in silence. 

Slowly we would settle down and focus on his raised hand. 

A few would giggle, but that would peter out until we all wrapt in a hypnotic stillness.

If you want to see an example of how to use silence, then look at Neal Glitterman’s speech The Power of Silence .

You can see how much gravity silence can have , especially as a speech opener.

The final killer opener I want to introduce you to is the big promise opener.

The Big Promise Opener

I believe that all speeches and presentations should contain a big promise as it tells your audience why they should keep on listening.

Ideally, your big promise will be your speech title or phrase that pays which is a recurring foundational phrase you will use throughout your presentation.

A big promise is your way of making a deal with the audience : you listen to me, and you’ll get something in return.

Creating a big promise at the beginning of your speech is like adding a teaser trailer to the beginning of a TV show. It suggests a reason you should stick around.

When Arthur Benjamin introduces his talk Faster than a calculator by announcing:

 “I am a human calculator!”

You know that proof is on the way.

Remember the essential rule of the Big Promise Opener: make it big and keep your promise.

WOW your audience with these killer speech openers.

I hope you feel that I kept my promise of sharing nine killer speech openers to start a presentation.

Did you notice any other speech openers at the beginning of this article?

Don’t forget; these openers can be mixed and matched.

You can include a number of these speech openers in the same presentation to create more impact.

Let me know which of these killer openers was your favourite, and let me know if you have any more you’d like to share.

– Danny Riley

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Five of the Best Speech Opening Lines

Great opening lines to a speech get us curious and can set the direction for a powerful talk.   In those first few seconds you have the chance to gain your audience’s attention, earn their trust, and persuade them you are someone worth listening to.   The best introductions to speeches are a mile away from the standard welcomes and thank yous that set the snoozometer to max. Get it right, and those initial words can captivate the crowd from the off, creating a connection with every individual in the room.   But how do you go about opening your speech with something different and memorable? A great place to start is looking at examples of introductions to successful speeches to see what you can learn from them.   To show you what we mean, we’ve picked some of our favourite opening lines from TED talks, home to some of the best conference speeches in the world. From funny stories to hard-hitting introductions, TED talks show the art of the possible when it comes to getting your speech off to a kick-ass start.   Have a go at guessing the speaker, or the focus of the rest of their talk (hint…we give you the answers later on).  

Do you want to improve your public speaking? Why not view our  Public Speaking Courses !

Guess the Speech: Five of the best speech opening lines

Speech A:  Good morning. How are you? It’s been great, hasn’t it? I’ve been blown away by the whole thing. In fact, I’m leaving.

Speech B:  For a long time, there was me, and my body. Me was composed of stories, of cravings, of strivings, of desires of the future. Me was trying not to be an outcome of my violent past, but the separation that had already occurred between me and my body was a pretty significant outcome. Me was always trying to become something, somebody. Me only existed in the trying. My body was often in the way.

Speech C:  Sadly, in the next 18 minutes when I do our chat, four Americans that are alive will be dead from the food that they eat.

Speech D:  Okay, now I don’t want to alarm anybody in this room, but it’s just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar. (Laughter) Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We’re all liars. What I’m going to do today is I’m going to show you what the research says about why we’re all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building.

Speech E:  Imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. Imagine a plane full of smoke. Imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. It sounds scary. Well I had a unique seat that day. I was sitting in 1D.

Answers: Who delivered these great opening lines?

These examples pack a punch for very different reasons. There’s absolutely no chance of the audience zoning out when the speaker goes straight in with such a powerful start.   So, who gave these speeches, and why are the introductions so good? Time for the big reveal….

A:  Sir Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity

Deceptively simple, the opening lines for this speech set the tone for what has become the most viewed TED talk of all (currently nearly 57 million views). Far from being just ‘throat clearing’, Sir Ken’s funny introduction cleverly paves the way for a talk that will gently but profoundly show us a new way of looking at education. It’s as if we are at a dinner party, being hosted by Sir Ken – he makes us feel comfortable, interested and open all at once. We are not being lectured to (which is always a possibility when education is the subject matter of choice), we want to learn and hear more. Very skilful indeed.

Ginger tip: funny introductions

Using humour in your introduction can be a great way to get your speech off to a flying start – but only if you do it in a way that feels natural. This example shows how you can make people laugh without telling a joke. It’s about finding your own funny and feeling totally comfortable with what you’re saying. If it feels a bit forced to you, it definitely will to your audience. You don’t have to make people roll around on the floor laughing, but light-hearted and amusing anecdotes can add energy and engagement to your talk – which is especially needed if you’re in the dreaded after-lunch slot . Remember, when you open your speech with something funny, you are setting the tone for the rest of your talk – so you’ll need to pepper humour throughout.

Extra Ginger nuggets

How to write a funny speech Funny inspiring speakers talks 

B:  Eve Ensler: Suddenly, my body

As you’d expect from a the writer of the Vagina Monologues, the start of this speech opening was profound, stark in its honesty and inviting. We empathize and want to know more. Unfortunately this speech suffered from a common affliction that writers face; in getting focused on the precise words of the speech (in this instance, Eve Ensler read her speech), we can get disconnected from the full power of the material. Whilst the words were powerful, we would have enjoyed the rest of this speech more if Eve had given herself permission to find the right words in the moment, rather than needing to be perfectly scripted.

Ginger tip: going unscripted

You want it to be perfect. You’re worried about forgetting something vital. You’re scared of doing it wrong. These are common and perfectly understandable reasons why people opt to script their speech and read it word for word. But rather than delivering a foot-perfect performance, you’re more likely to lose the vital connection with the audience. Not to mention risking plunging yourself into the dreaded ‘I’m sorry I’ve lost my place’ scenario. More than anything, people want you to be human and to speak from the heart. It takes confidence to ditch your notes, but with some simple techniques, you can prepare and remember your speech in a way that allows you to deliver a clear, compelling and authentic talk.

How to start a speech with power and confidence How to remember a speech without notes

C:  Jamie Oliver’s TED Wish: Teach every child about food

This is one of our favourite ever TED talks, and it doesn’t pull its punches from the very first line. Jamie Oliver manages to balance preparation (statistics, stories, well-developed ideas) with heart in his TED talk. This speech opening line both makes our jaws drop to the ground in shock at such a statistic and opens our hearts to the human side of the story. Powerful stuff.

Ginger tip: punchy facts

Opening your speech with a hard-hitting fact can quickly add credibility to your talk and demonstrate the scale of an issue. It’s best to keep statistics simple and make them as relevant to the audience as possible, so it feels memorable rather than dry. Resist the urge to stuff the rest of the speech with stats. Try to stick to a few powerful facts and bring them to life with real examples.

Extra Ginger nuggets:

The key to presenting data…is not to present data How to make a powerful point with your speech

D:  Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar

We love talks that balance humour and connect us to the subject matter in hand – and Pamela Meyer does this perfectly in her TED talk opening line. By bringing a challenge straight to us, in our very seats, Pamela engages us and makes sure the talk is about ‘me’ the audience member. We’re laughing and ready to listen. Great job.

Ginger tip: setting up a problem

Setting up a problem at the start of your speech immediately creates a reason for listening and a direction for your talk. And if you involve the audience in the problem, it’s even more powerful. It doesn’t have to be something completely new, in fact telling us what we already know and explaining why that’s a problem can be a really engaging way to start. Depending on the subject matter, you can frame the problem in different ways – from serious to humorous. And it gives a natural structure to the rest of your talk as you explore how to solve the issue.  

The best way to engage your audience Five methods to master audience interaction

E:  Ric Elias: 3 things I learned while my plane crashed

Wow, what an opening! Who wouldn’t want to know more? Ric Elias showed here how powerful it is to jump straight into a story, with no fussing around with thank yous and throat clearing. Unfortunately after the winning start, the rest of the talk lacked some of the gusto and drama of its opening lines. What can we learn from this? Start with power, but make sure you structure your talk to include a journey that will continue to keep us involved all the way through.

Ginger tip: start with a story

Stories are one of the most effective ways to inspire others. We’re hard wired to connect with stories and your experience of the world is one of the most valuable speaking tools that you possess. Telling a story is a popular way to open a speech because it can quickly build that all-important human connection with your audience. If you have a message that’s personal, or if you’re trying to influence your audience to make a change, a story is a great place to start.

Why is it so important to tell your story? 3 storytelling secrets for public speaking

Creating the best introduction for your speech

We hope these examples of great opening lines demonstrate that you don’t have to conform to the ‘safe’ introductions we’re all used to hearing at corporate conferences. In fact, at Ginger, we dare our speakers to rip up the ‘rulebook’, to be courageous, and to take a different approach to setting the scene. You can find even more tips in our free guide,  The 10 best ways to start your talk .   We’d love to hear your thoughts on these and other examples of great opening lines – so please share your ideas in the comments below.

Beyond introductions

Of course, it’s all very well creating a captivating introduction, but you don’t want the rest of your talk to fall off a cliff edge after you’ve built it up so spectacularly. Maintaining the audience’s attention for the rest of your speech is just as important.   We’ve developed the  TED-style Talk Guidebook  to help you through the process of writing a brilliant speech. Whether you’re crafting a short talk or a keynote, it will help you create a speech that’s as good as a TED talk – so you can wow your audience from the first word to the final thank you.   If you’d like to get hands-on support with becoming a better public speaker, then take a look at our  training courses.  There’s something for every level, from nervous beginners to becoming a leading speaker on the world stage. We’d love to welcome you along.

UK based? Here’s some courses that you might enjoy: 

• Presentation Skills and Essentials
• Leadership and Communications
• TED Talk Presentations

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Jokes For Public Speaking - Lighten The Mood ... Laugh A Little

Jokes for public speaking are an amazing weapon in your arsenal as you strive for really advanced presentation skills .

Why is public speaking important and why do we need to minimize public speaking fear ?

In a nutshell - public speaking is today's "must have" life skill" - for every one ... not just for motivational speakers !

So, keep those nerves under control, lighten the mood and laugh a little.

Our suggestions and words of wisdom for incorporating public speaking jokes in great funny speeches will soon have you more relaxed and ready to write your own public speaking book !

Hey ... check it out!

Click on the first few and they will take you straight to a free written speech that shows you how to use jokes for public speaking creatively and effectively in your speech.

Someone once said that the best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated and ... a little drunk ! If that is the case - then I have definitely got an amazing audience here tonight.

Lord Reading offered the following advice on presenting a speech: "Always be shorter than anyone dared to hope!" and tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you may be very hopeful!

Franklin D. Roosevelt said: "Be sincere; be brief; be seated" .

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it - at my age...I'm very pleased to be anywhere!" - George Burns

Now, I've been told that a successful speech needs to have a great introduction and a memorable ending - and that both of these should both be close together with not too much in between .

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, to reiterate what King Henry said to each of his many wives ... "I shall not keep you long!"

"It's quite simple. Say what you have to say and when you come to a sentence with a grammatical ending, sit down!" - Winston Churchill

" Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking . Number two is death! Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy !" - Jerry Seinfeld

" The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops  ... until you stand up to speak in public ." - George Jessel

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning towards you and kissing a girl who is leaning a way from you." - Winston Churchill

"Unaccustomed as most people are to public speaking ... they still insist on doing it!" - Unknown

"Make sure that you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening! " - Dorothy Sarnoff

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you have got it made!" - Jean Giraudoux

"There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave ... and the one you wish you gave." - Dale Carnegie

Jokes for public speaking - a secret weapon whether you are attending public speaking courses , searching for public speaking online or just trying to address your anxiety public speaking .

Some final words of wisdom ... "No one ever complains about a speech being too short." - Ira Hayes

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30 Brilliant Opening Lines for Your Best Mans Speech

Author: Hollie Bond

NB: To help you browse our best suggestions we have included some third party links. Some purchases made through these links may earn us a commission to help keep our blogs and offers current and up to date. Thanks for your support!

Looking for the perfect best man speech opening lines to delight wedding guests? We’ve rounded up 30 of the funniest opening lines for every style of best man speech here.

Staring at a blank piece of paper with no idea of how to start your best man speech ? It’s a situation that pretty much every best man before you has been in before, so you’re certainly not alone. The beginning of a speech is always the hardest bit to get right, but once you’ve nailed that first sentence and won over the wedding guests it’s all plain sailing from there.

It’s important to spend some time and effort thinking about your audience, the happy couple, and the sort of icebreaker that will work best for them and you. Remember to play to your strengths. If you’re not a natural comedian then steer clear of too many best man speech jokes and opt for something charming, self-deprecating, or heartfelt instead.

Whatever type of best man wedding speech you’re hoping to deliver for your best friend, there’s an icebreaker to suit. We’ve compiled 30 of our favorites below that work at all types of weddings. Choose one of these best man speech openers to get your speech started in style and then read our ultimate guide to writing a best man speech to ensure the rest of your speech is as brilliant as that opening sentence.

Best Man Speech Openers

1. Ladies and gentlemen, before I start just some quick housekeeping. Firstly, if you’ve got your mobile phone on you please make sure to keep it switched ON during the speech, for your own entertainment. Secondly, if you see any good jokes in your scrolling, be sure to forward them on to me.

2. I’d like to offer a toast to the bride and groom [*Pull a piece of toast out your pocket and give it to them*]

3. Hi everyone, I’m (your name). I’m here to tell you about (groom’s name) and how truly special, talented, good looking and… sorry mate, I’m struggling to read your handwriting here.

4. I’d like to start by congratulating the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He’s really outdone himself this time.

5. The bride and groom have asked that I don’t share any embarrassing stories, stag do pranks or crude jokes in my best man’s speech… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening.

6. A wedding is such an emotional day for everyone. Even the cake is in tiers.

7. For those of you who can’t hear me at the back, you should be reassured by the complete silence in the front row here that you’re really not missing much.

8. To start this speech, I searched online for ‘the perfect best man speech’, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m just going to wing it.

9. If there’s anyone here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married (groom’s name).

10. All those among you who really know the bride will know that she is a wonderful person who deserves a good husband. Thank god (groom’s name) married her before she found one.

11. Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, good looking, and a great man. But enough about me…!

12. Those of you that know me, know that I’m not big on making speeches [*sit down*]

13. My only wish for the bride and groom is that each day of their marriage is better than the previous so that they can look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

14. (Groom’s name) knows his wife so well. When I asked him what her favourite flower was, he replied “self-raising”.

15. Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.

16. I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable…

17. I’ve been told I can’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast in this best man speech. Apparently, I’m supposed to sing the groom’s praises and talk about all his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I don’t like lying.

18. You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the years I’ve been friends with the groom, he has finally admitted that I am in fact the best man.

19. I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his wedding day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing about (groom’s name). Instead I’ll refer only to the kind and funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight.

20. A best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much, people start freaking out.

21. A wise man once told me that a best man speech is like a miniskirt. It should be short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the goods.

22. Ladies and gentlemen before I start the venue owner has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

23. I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the groom’s dance lessons worked out.

24. (Groom’s name) had the honour of being my best man. He spent months writing a perfect, tender and charming speech. Everyone agreed it was funny and beautiful. Unfortunately I’m a married man, so I haven’t had the time to do all that.

25. I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be best man at (bride and grooms’ names) wedding. (Groom’s name) made me compete for this honour today, but I was able to beat the barman over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

26. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

27. I didn’t really want to do this speech, but I thought it might be the only chance I’ll get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by (groom’s name).

28. I always knew the groom’s speech would be hard to follow. In fact, I couldn’t understand a word of it.

29. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right, I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

30. I read somewhere that the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So please could everyone raise a glass to the happy couple!

Now you’ve chosen your opening line you’ll want to include some other best man speech jokes throughout your speech to keep your guests entertained. Read our guide to hilarious best man speech jokes here .

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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