essay on positive relationship

Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

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The 14 most important characteristics of healthy relationships.

A healthy relationshi p is one that adds to both people's overall well-being, fueled by communication, respect, and boundaries . For a relationship to be healthy, it requires more than just shared interests and strong feelings for each other. It requires two people who truly understand and care for each other, while also caring for themselves.

Here are the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship:

You respect each other

Respect is one of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship. Once the chase is over, some people can forget about tending to their partner's feelings and needs. In lasting, healthy relationships, partners value each other and take care with their words, actions, and behaviors. If you want to be with that person each day, make them feel that way. Likewise, you should receive this care from your partner day in and day out.

You're vulnerable with each other

Good communication is a necessary quality of a healthy relationship. If you're not willing to share what's going on with you or what you need from your partner, you're not going to get what you need. Yet people—out of shame or a habit built over a lifetime of bottling up our feelings—don't want to let anyone else in on what's going on with us. If you can trust your partner enough to share your feelings, you're more likely to find yourself in a safe relationship that lasts.

RELATED: How Lack Of Communication Can Sneakily Ruin Relationships

You have total trust in each other

Healthy relationships require trust. You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. You will have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Trust takes practice and is earned one step at a time. Even when trust is broken , you can find a way to repair a breach in trust if you're willing to work on it.

You both maintain unwavering honesty

In a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to share what's going on, no matter how ugly. You can't hide behind lies and deception if you want your relationship to last. If you can't believe your partner when they tell you something, or if your partner is hiding things from you, it's going to be hard for you to feel safe. Honesty helps foster trust and a belief in each other, which is crucial to making it over the long haul. (Here's what open and honest communication in a relationship looks like.)

There's mutual empathy

Another key quality of a healthy relationship is empathy . Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn't about trying to fix your partner's concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what's going on with your partner and strive to see things through their eyes, you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant.

You both prioritize kindness

Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Cut out the behavior that gets on their nerves, and find ways to uplift your partner. Thoughtfulness, consideration, and kindness is the recipe for healthy relationships.

You respect each other's boundaries

It's important not to forget that you're two separate people with separate needs, including some needs that you may not share. You will not agree on everything, and sometimes you may not want the same things. It's important to respect these differences and not push each other's boundaries , including emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, and any other types of boundaries . Boundaries are a necessary characteristic of a healthy relationship.

You're both totally committed

You have to be committed to your partner, yes. But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you're likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. It's not just about getting your needs met. It's about replenishing the fire so your relationship can last. That's what a healthy relationship is all about.

You're both thoughtful

Thoughtfulness is a characteristic of a healthy relationship that often gets overlooked because it can be hard to articulate. Essentially, thoughtfulness means keeping your partner in mind and striving to do things that will make their lives better. It's knowing their preferences, opinions, and quirks so you're able to dance with them, not fight them with. The better you know your partner, the more you can practice thoughtfulness. What can you do today to help them or improve their lives? What can you do today to make your partner's day?

You can forgive each other

Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all.

Likewise, you will sometimes feel hurt throughout a relationship because we're all humans who make mistakes. The key is to forgive quickly, let go of grudges, and start over each day. Yes, this is easier said than done, but forgiveness is crucial to the long-term health of the relationship. You have to let go of trespasses and also be willing to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness takes courage, vulnerability, and practice.

Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean being a pushover or accepting mistreatment from your partner. There are many signs of an abusive relationship that aren't physical to be aware of. In a healthy relationship, you first you make the commitment to accept them completely. Then, you speak up and say what it is that's bothering you. If hurtful actions continue, it may be a sign you should break up .

RELATED: Unconditional Love: How To Give It & Know If It's Healthy

You're gentle with each other

Gentleness comes through in thoughts, words, actions, and your general state of being. It's understanding and accepting your partner completely and treating them delicately. It's not yelling, not name-calling, and not being verbally or emotionally harsh with each other.

Gentleness is treating your partner in a respectful, kind, and compassionate way. It's recognizing your soulful connection and appreciating their inherent humanness.

There's a lot of affection

After some time in relationships, we often forget to show love and affection toward our partners. But affection is a key quality of a healthy relationship. It's the stuff that make relationships great.

Affection can be as simple as touching, holding, or kissing your partner for no reason at all. It's a warm embrace, a light touch, a loving word, or any other small way you can show your partner that you love them.

To be most affectionate, you have to know how your partner receives love best and do more of that. Is it a loving word, a thoughtful gesture, help around the house, or doing something special for them? The better you know what your partner enjoys, the more affectionate you can be.

The love languages quiz can help you figure out how you and your partner can most effectively show your love to each other.

You consistently appreciate each other

Gratitude is another key quality of a healthy relationship. We all take our partners for granted sometimes. If you can regularly remind yourself how lucky you are and how valuable your partner is, and tell them so, you will boost the happiness and longevity of your relationship. Partners who stay together appreciate each other and compliment each other. Recognize what your partner is doing, and let them know that you're thankful for it.

You both feel validated by the other

Most of the time, people don't really understand us. Everyone has different opinions, and needing to always be right can negatively affect your relationship. Validating your partner shows them that you're on their side. When you understand and accept what they say, they feel fully seen, heard, and accepted. It's acknowledging what your partner is saying to you and showing them that you get them—you understand what they're saying and experiencing. When you validate, you accept. And when you accept, you show unconditional love , which is ultimately what keeps people and relationships together in the long run.

Now that you know the characteristics, here are some tips on how to have a healthy relationship .

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10 Pillars of a Strong Relationship

Your performance evaluation at work comes in, and it’s glowing. However, there’s one area that “needs improvement.” Days later, which part do you think about?

The negative, of course. Part of you knows it’s ridiculous to let that one thing bother you. After all, there’s a lot more good in there than bad, but you can’t seem to help it.

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our romantic relationships. We all have a negativity bias , or tendency to focus on the bad aspects of experiences. This makes us more critical of our relationship than we should be. Along the way, we take the good times for granted and they become an under-appreciated part of our partnership. But the problems? They stand out. Our partner’s insensitive comments, moods, and messiness regularly capture our full attention.

Mix this into a relationship that has lost a bit of its spark, and it can be hard to notice anything other than the problems. As Daniel Kahneman describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow , we tend to only see what’s right in front of us and overlook what’s not there at the moment. When problems are all that you see, it feels like that’s all your relationship is.

In fact, we have such a strong tendency to pick up on the bad stuff that we may even manufacture problems that don’t exist. A study published in Science suggests that if our relationship doesn’t have any major issues, we’re more likely to take what once would have been considered a small issue and feel it’s more problematic.

When we spend our time worrying about the wrong things, we don’t have time to appreciate what’s going right. Not only does this mean our view of the relationship is skewed, but it also means we’re missing out on a meaningful opportunity. While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection.

The pillars of healthy relationships

To shift your perspective, start by paying more attention to the facets of your relationship that are stable, consistent, and comfortable. Those peaceful, drama-free, status-quo elements are easy to forget, but they’re sources of strength.

Below are 10 key pillars of healthy relationships that research suggests are key to a satisfying, lasting bond. Many of these are likely present in your own relationship; you just need to pause and take notice.

1. You can be yourself. You and your partner accept each other for who you are; you don’t try to change each other. You can simply be yourself and show your true identity without worrying if your partner will judge you. That’s helpful because research shows that partners who accept each other tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. 

2. You are BFFs. In many ways, your romantic partner is your best friend, and you’re theirs. That’s good news because research suggests that romantic partners who emphasize friendship tend to be more committed and experience more sexual gratification. Romantic relationships that value friendship emphasize emotional support, intimacy, affection, and maintaining a strong bond. They also focus on meeting needs related to caregiving, security, and companionship. 

3. You feel comfortable and close. Getting close to someone isn’t always easy. But in your relationship, you’ve worked through that and are quite comfortable sharing feelings, relying on each other, and being emotionally intimate. Even if vulnerability can be challenging at times, you’ve learned to trust your partner and find it brings you closer. You no longer put up emotional walls and don’t constantly worry about your partner leaving, which provides a sense of stability . 

4. You’re more alike than different. You and your partner have a lot in common, and key areas of similarity may help make your relationship more satisfying , new research suggests. Sure, the differences stand out, but beyond those few contrasts, you’re similar in a lot of ways. For example, your partner may enjoy superhero movies while you enjoy rom-coms. Though that feels like a major contrast, you’re both homebodies who enjoy making a meal together then crashing on the couch to watch TV shows where you can debate others’ life choices, make fun of awkward dialogue, and try to guess the next plot twist. Ultimately, you have a lot more in common than you have differences.

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5. You feel like a team. Words matter. When you talk, do you often use words like “we,” “us,” and “our?” If someone asks, “What’s your favorite show to binge-watch?,” do you reply with, “We have started watching Schitt’s Creek ”? That use of “we” shows a strong sense of cognitive closeness, or shared identity, in your relationship. Research suggests that couples who are interconnected like this tend to be more satisfied and committed . 

6. They make you a better person. Your partner helps you refine and improve who you are. Here, your partner doesn’t take charge and tell you how to change, but rather supports your choices for self-growth . Together, you seek out new and interesting experiences that contribute to a feeling of self-development. According to relationship researchers, when you expand and grow as a person, your relationship does, too .

7. You share the power. While partners may have their areas of expertise (for example, one handles lawn care, while the other does interior decorating), partners often share decision making, power, and influence in the relationship. When both partners have a say, relationships are stronger, more satisfied, and more likely to last . And, unsurprisingly, couples are happier when they feel the division of labor in their relationship is fair. 

8. They’re fundamentally good. What do people want in a spouse? It’s surprisingly simple: someone who is reliable, warm, kind, fair, trustworthy, and intelligent . Though these traits aren’t flashy and may not immediately come to mind when creating your partner wish list, they provide the foundation for a resilient relationship. Research suggests that when partners have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities, they tend to be more satisfied in their relationship. 

9. You trust each other. We need to be able to rely on our partner, which comes from a sense of trust. Not only do we trust our partner with the password to our phone, or with access to our bank account, we know that our partner always has our best interests in mind and will be there for us when we need them. Research suggests this is a positive cycle : Trust encourages greater commitment, which encourages greater trust.

10. You don’t have serious issues. There are problems, and then there are PROBLEMS. Sometimes it’s easy to forget about all of the problems and major red flags we don’t have to deal with. “Dark side” issues like disrespect, cheating, jealousy, and emotional or physical abuse are relationship killers. Sometimes, the light can come from the absence of dark.

Spend a few moments reflecting on how each of these apply to your own relationship. At this point, you may want to give yourself some kind of score to affirm your relationship is in good shape. How many of those 10 pillars do you have? How many do you lack? But that’s not really the point. Chances are, your relationship has elements of all 10. The key is to do a better job of noticing and, where needed, cultivating these foundational areas. Often, strengthening these pillars is as simple as savoring everything in your relationship that works. There’s a lot there when you know what to look for. 

Hopefully, you’ve also noticed areas of strength that aren’t on this list. That’s great, because this list is by no means comprehensive. More importantly, it shows you’re starting to notice more of what works, and not obsessing about what’s broken. 

Of course, you shouldn’t use a few positives to justify staying in a bad relationship. Focusing on strengths is only helpful for those in good relationships looking to make them better. Good relationships are built on mutual respect, love, and friendship between equals.

The lesson here also isn’t to pretend like your relationship doesn’t have issues. Rather, it’s a lot easier to fix those problems when you appreciate how much of your relationship is already going well. Relationships are difficult enough without making them any harder. When you’re only shedding light on what’s wrong, it’s easy to buy into the mistaken belief that your relationship is in trouble. But when you stop taking the good for granted, and give your partner and relationship more credit, you may realize that your relationship is stronger than you think.

About the Author

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. , is the author of Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them . He is also an award-winning teacher, researcher, relationship expert, and professor at Monmouth University.

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The Importance of Positive Relationships in the Workplace

With lots of people spending more time at work than on any other daily activity, it is vital that individuals within any organization feel connected and supported by peers, subordinates, and leaders.

Psychosocial hazards related to the culture within an organization, such as poor interpersonal relations and a lack of policies and practices related to respect for workers, are significant contributors to workplace stress (Stoewen, 2016).

While prolonged exposure to these psychosocial hazards is related to increased psychiatric and physiological health problems, positive social relationships among employees are how work gets done.

Whether organizations and their employees flounder or flourish largely depends on the quality of the social relationships therein.

This article will take a look at the science behind positive relationships at work and the importance of positive social interactions, and discuss some of the ways positive employee interaction can be introduced and encouraged in the workplace.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify opportunities for professional growth and create a more meaningful career.

This Article Contains:

The science behind positive relationships at work, what are the benefits of social interaction at work, why are positive interactions in the workplace so important, how to foster employee interaction in the workplace, a take-home message.

Psychologists have long identified the desire to feel connected to others as a basic human need, and interpersonal relationships have a significant impact on our mental health, health behavior, physical health, and mortality risk (Umberson & Montez, 2010). Our physiological systems are highly responsive to positive social interactions.

Gable and Gosnell (2011) surmised that humans are endowed with separate reflexive brain networks for social thinking. Close relationships are linked to health as they build certain biological systems that may protect against the adverse effects of stress. Their research found that in response to social contact, the brain releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone linked to trustworthiness and motivation to help others in the workplace.

Dunbar and Dunbar (1998) suggested that when individuals experience social pain in the workplace from feeling isolated, for instance, the region of the brain that is activated is the same as if physical pain had been experienced.

Conversely, when relationships in the workplace are characterized by cooperation, trust, and fairness, the reward center of the brain is activated, which encourages future interactions that promote employee trust, respect, and confidence, with employees believing the best in each other and inspiring each other in their performance (Geue, 2017).

Positive social interactions at work directly affect the body’s physiological processes. According to Heaphy and Dutton (2008), positive social interactions serve to bolster physiological resourcefulness by fortifying the cardiovascular, immune, and neuroendocrine systems through immediate and enduring decreases in cardiovascular reactivity, strengthened immune responses, and healthier hormonal patterns.

Put simply, when employees experience positive relationships, the body’s ability to build, maintain, and repair itself is improved both in and out of the workplace.

1. Employee engagement

Social interactions play an essential role in wellbeing, which, in turn, has a positive impact on employee engagement.

Organizations with higher levels of employee engagement indicated lower business costs, improved performance outcomes, lower staff turnover and absenteeism, and fewer safety incidents (Gallup, 2015).

2. Shared knowledge

Social interaction can lead to knowledge and productivity spillover from trained to untrained workers in collaborative team settings or between senior and junior workers, particularly in low-skilled tasks and occupations (Cornelissen, 2016).

For instance, Mas and Moretti (2009) found that productivity was improved when employees were assigned to work alongside faster, more knowledgeable coworkers.

3. Employee satisfaction

Employees who are satisfied with the overall quality of their workplace relationships are likely to be more attached to the organization.

Leaders who encourage informal interactions, such as after-hours social gatherings, can foster the development of more positive relationships and significantly influence and improve employee satisfaction (Sias, 2005).

4. Reduce health risks

A lack of social interaction in the workplace can have potentially negative consequences in relation to social support.

Several studies have indicated that the sense of isolation that comes from this lack of social support is associated with a host of negative health consequences, including a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, compromised immunity, increased risk of depression, and shortened lifespan (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015; Cacioppo, Hawkley, Norman, & Berntson, 2011; Mushtaq, Shoib, Shah, & Mushtaq, 2014).

5. Innovation

Strong within-group ties with coworkers (characterized by frequent social interactions) provide opportunities to facilitate innovative thinking.

According to Wang, Fang, Qureshi, and Janssen (2015), the strong ties developed by social interactions assist innovators in the search for inspiration, sponsorship, and support within the workplace.

6. Connection

Social interactions in the workplace help to ensure everyone in a group is on the same page. According to Sias, Krone, and Jablin (2002), peer relationships (also referred to as equivalent-status relationships) represent the most common type of employee interaction.

These peer relationships exist between coworkers with no formal authority over one another and act as an important source of informational and emotional support for employees. Coworkers who possess knowledge about and an understanding of their specific workplace experience are given opportunities to feel connected and included through the sharing of information through regular social interactions.

7. Positive feelings

Social interactions in the workplace have been found to increase self-reported positive feelings at the end of the workday (Nolan & Küpers, 2009).

Repeated positive social interactions cultivate greater shared experiences and the gradual development of more trusting relationships (Oh, Chung, & Labianca, 2004). When trust exists between team members, they are more likely to engage in positive, cooperative behavior, which in turn increases employee access to valuable resources.

9. Altruism

Employees who engage in positive social interactions also tend to exhibit more altruistic behaviors by providing coworkers with help, guidance, advice, and feedback on various work-related matters (Hamilton, 2007).

10. Team performance

The information collated through social interaction can help a team collectively improve its performance and the precision of its estimates (Jayles et al., 2017).

11. Improved motivation

Social interaction and positive relationships are important for various attitudinal, wellbeing, and performance-related outcomes. Basford and Offermann (2012) found that employees in both low- and high-status positions reported higher levels of motivation when interpersonal relationships with coworkers were good.

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These 17 Work & Career Coaching Exercises [PDF] contain everything you need to help others find more meaning and satisfaction in their work.

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As with any interpersonal relationship, those formed in the workplace reflect a varying and dynamic spectrum of quality.

At their very best, interactions can be a source of enrichment and vitality that helps and encourages individuals, groups, and organizations as a whole to thrive and flourish.

Conversely, negative workplace interactions have the potential to be a source of psychological distress, depletion, and dysfunction.

Positive social interactions are often referred to as appetitive. They are characterized by the pursuit of rewarding and desirable outcomes, while negative ones are aversive and commonly characterized by unwelcome and punishing results (Reis & Gable, 2003).

Positive interactions in the workplace have been shown to improve job satisfaction and positively influence staff turnover, as employees who experience support from colleagues are more likely to remain in an organization long term (Hodson, 2004; Moynihan & Pandey, 2008).

Furthermore, positive interactions between supportive coworkers who provide help and clarify tasks can improve an individual’s understanding of their role, thus reducing job role ambiguity and workload, which, according to Chiaburu and Harrison (2008), may ultimately increase job satisfaction and organizational commitment.

Positive interactions in the workplace are marked by trust, mutual regard, and active engagement. According to Rosales (2016), interactions characterized in this way can improve employee awareness of others, foster positive emotions such as empathy and compassion, and increase the likelihood of trusting, respectful engagement between individuals.

In contrast, negative ties between two individuals at work are characterized by animosity, exclusion, or avoidance, which can cause stress and job dissatisfaction (Rosales, 2016).

This can, unsurprisingly, have a detrimental effect upon an employee’s emotional wellbeing; social relations at work that are disrespectful, distrustful, and lack reciprocity are independent predictors of medically diagnosed depression (Oksanen, Kouvonen, Vahtera, Virtanen, & Kivimäki, 2010).

Employees tend to be involved in many dyadic relationships within the workplace, with individuals generally possessing both negative and positive ties. However, when individuals have more negative associations with coworkers than positive, they might experience negative moods, emotions, and other adverse outcomes such as social ostracism (Venkataramani & Dalal, 2007).

Mastroianni and Storberg-Walker (2014) indicated that wellbeing is enhanced through work interactions when those interactions are trusting, collaborative, and positive, and when employees feel valued and respected. Interactions lacking these characteristics were found to detract from wellbeing and negatively impacted sleeping and eating patterns, socializing, exercise, personal relations, careers, and energy.

With the amount of time we spend at work, it is imperative that employees feel connected and supported through positive social relationships. Seligman (2011) noted that happiness could not be achieved without social relationships, and while social relationships do not guarantee happiness, happiness does not often occur without them (Diener & Seligman, 2002).

Such connections and interactions give energy to individuals and to the organization in which they work, whereas negative relationships may deplete energy and lead to individual and corporate floundering (Ragins & Dutton, 2007).

Given the organizational and personal benefits of positive workplace relationships, creating opportunities for and fostering positive social interactions should be a paramount objective for team leaders and managers.

According to the Society for Human Resource Management’s 2016 Employee Job Satisfaction and Employee Report , relationships with colleagues were the number one contributor to employee engagement, with 77% of respondents listing workplace connections as a priority.

It is therefore crucial that leaders and managers determine ways to promote positive workplace relationships. In doing so, organizations are better able to adopt a more relationship-centric outlook wherein the fostering of positive employee interactions becomes a goal in and of itself. According to Geue (2017), ‘elevating interactions’ is a critical requirement in creating a positive work environment.

In general, maximizing engagement levels can be boiled down to two key concepts: removing barriers that limit social interaction in the workplace and creating opportunities for employees to engage with each other. These outcomes can be achieved in several ways, and while not all approaches are suitable for all organizational types, the concepts hold true.

Promote face-to-face interaction

With the advent of digital communication, we’re now only ever a few clicks away from contact with virtually anyone anywhere in the world. While the internet has facilitated communication on a scale hereto unrivaled, there’s a lot to be said for traditional face-to-face interaction. An email might be easier, but we lose the nuances of nonverbal cues and tone.

For traditional workplaces, consider the layout of shared working environments. Is the layout of the office conducive to employee interaction? Considering the stereotypical ‘bull-pen’ office environment, literally removing the barriers between employees can open doors for social interaction opportunities.

Include remote workers

What about employees who work remotely? The upward trend in telecommuting is expected to continue over the coming years, with more employees working from home (or otherwise remotely), posing fresh challenges for the relationship-centric organization.

While organizations have been keen to reap the benefits of access to a broader talent pool and reduced office overheads, remote workers pose a challenge to the relationship-centric workplace.

Where in-person interaction isn’t feasible, face-to-face interaction can still be facilitated using social technology. Using video-conferencing software regularly can help to foster positive social relationships for remote workers.

Plan collaborative events

Dedicating time to specifically promoting positive social interactions in the workplace can be a powerful route to ensuring the relationship-centric approach doesn’t fall by the wayside amidst organizational pressure to achieve.

Set aside time for employees to interact; focus on interests and experiences out of work to direct attention to shared interests to allow for employees to discover commonalities and relatedness.

Effectively mediate conflict

Both employees and employers require meaningful relationships with others in the workplace, and yet these needs may be impeded by counterproductive and destructive workplace practices (Bolden & Gosling, 2006).

Organizational leaders should attempt to minimize negative interactions between employees by proactively mediating and resolving differences and building a culture of open communication that fosters trust and relationship building.

Lead by example

Creating a physical environment that nurtures positive social interactions between employees is a significant first step, but to promote relationships, a good team leader, supervisor, or manager should practice what they preach.

By establishing consistent patterns of behavior that exemplify the desired culture, you can promote an emotional environment of inclusivity and positivity.

Positive psychology founding father Martin Seligman’s (2011) PERMA model highlights five critical elements for mental wellbeing, which business leaders can adopt to promote a positive culture that encourages belonging.

The five elements of the PERMA model are:

• Positive emotion
• Positive relationships
• Achievement/accomplishment

Learn how to put the PERMA model into practice here .

The workplace is one of the few environments where people are ‘forced’ into relationships. By their very nature, workplace environments are made up of a blend of diverse groups of people, many of whom would have very little interest in freely meeting or socializing outside of the workplace. While a company’s greatest asset is its employees, those employees do not work together harmoniously all the time.

There are, however, actions that any individual or organization can take to encourage employee interaction and develop an inclusive workplace culture. Through the promotion of positive social interactions, workplace relationships can be a source of individual and collective growth, learning, and flourishing.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free .

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12 Elements of Healthy Relationships

Note: this post was updated in June 2024 to reflect new resources available to students and trainees.

In every relationship , it’s important to consider how we treat  one an other.  Whether it’s  romantic , platonic , familial, intimate , or sexual , your relationship  with another should be respectful, honest, and fun.  

When relationships are healthy, they promote  emotional and social  well ness .  When relationships are unhealthy,  you  may feel drained, overwhelmed, and  invisible .   

In a pandemic, it’s even more important to consid er how you engage with others.   B oundaries, communication, and time apart  are vital to having relationships everyone  involved  feels good about.   Reflect on your current relationships and consider how you can incorporate the  elements  listed below:  

• Communication . The way you talk with friends or partners is an important part of a relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to text versus talking in person or a phone call. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.
• Boundaries . Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together. All individuals involved should be respectful of boundaries. Whether it’s romantic, sexual, or platonic, consider what you want the relationship to look like and discuss it with the other(s).
• Consent . Consent is important in all relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries.
• Trust . Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships?
• Honesty . Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.
• Independence . It’s important to have time to yourself in any relationship. Having opportunities to hang with others or time for self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship. If you live with your partner(s) or friend(s), set up designated areas within your place where you can spend time alone.
• Equality . Each person in the relationship should have an equal say in what’s going on. Listen to each other and respect boundaries.
• Support . Each person in the relationship should feel supported. It’s important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it’s important to recognize your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.
• Responsibility . Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not place the blame on your partner(s) or friend(s). Taking responsibility for your actions will further trust and honesty.
• Healthy conflict . You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or disagreements is normal. You won’t find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you; thus, at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind is part of a healthy relationship.
• Safety . Safety is the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries, communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek support using the resources below.
• Fun . In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Again, it’s important that your relationships promote your well-being and do not diminish it.

Want to learn more about healthy relationships? Check out this quiz by Love is Respect , a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline .

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, the university has confidential, non-confidential, and peer-led resources you can contact for help and support.

Confidential resources provide assistance and support and information shared is protected and cannot be reported unless given explicit permission from the individual that disclosed; there is imminent threat of harm to the individual or others; the conduct involves suspected abuse of a minor under the age of 18; or otherwise permitted by law or court order.

Non-confidential resources are available to provide support or assistance to individuals but are not confidential and may have broader obligations to report information. Non-confidential resources will report information only to the necessary departments, such as Office of Institutional Equity (OIE).

Peer-led resources are available to provide support and assistance. Services are provided by Johns Hopkins students, and are non-confidential.

Hopkins Confidential Resources

• Mental Health Services . Accessible, equitable, and quality mental healthcare to students and trainees across Hopkins. If you are in need of immediate assistance for a behavioral health crisis or urgent consultation, please call the Behavioral Health Crisis Support Team (BHCST) Access Line at 410-516-9355 .
• JHU 24/7 Sexual Assault HelpLine: 410-516-7333 .
• Primary Care . Medical services for the evaluation and treatment of illness or injury, preventive health care, and health education.
• Religious and Spiritual Life : 410-516-1880 .
• Gender-Based Violence Prevention: Alyse Campbell , [email protected] , book a time to chat at: tinyurl.com/MeetwAlyse .

Hopkins Non-Confidential Resources

• JHU Sexual Misconduct website
• Campus Safety and Security : 410-516-7777
• Office of Gender and Sexuality Resources : [email protected]
• Office of Institutional Equity : 410-516-8075
• Office of the Dean of Student Life : 410-516-8208

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• A Place to Talk (available on Zoom). Serves Homewood undergrads.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Respect — Why Respect Is Important in Fostering Positive Relationships

Why Respect is Important in Fostering Positive Relationships

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Published: Sep 7, 2023

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The importance of respect in personal relationships, the importance of respect in social contexts, applying respect to promote change.

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Positive Relationships in the Working Place Research Paper

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Introduction

Literature review, summary and conclusions, reference list.

It has been acknowledged that positive relationships at work contribute to enhanced employees’ performance and, as a result, the successful development of the organization. Although all people are different, they all need communication and social ties. It is especially important at the workplace where employees are often overloaded with projects, they are often stressed, and burnout is common. The proper working atmosphere can diminish the impact of these negative trends.

To develop a friendly and operational atmosphere at work, there should be a number of criteria. Researchers identify different criteria that have the most effect on relationships at work. This paper dwells upon major criteria that should be in place to develop proper relationships in the working place. Personal experience is also applied to analyze the effectiveness of the criteria outlined by researchers.

As has been mentioned above, researchers tend to prioritize such criteria differently. For instance, Pravamayee (2014, p. 58) emphasizes that “healthy working relationships” can be developed if there is trust, mutual respect, mindfulness, welcoming diversity, open communication, and cooperation. At that, the researcher states that trust is the most important criterion as it enables employees to develop the necessary social ties. Mutual respect is also very important, as employees should value the ideas of others. As defined by Pravamayee (2014), mindfulness is the ability to take responsibility for one’s behavior and words, which is important for the development of trust and respect.

Manion (2012) also notes that trust is one of the most important criteria that contribute to the development of a friendly atmosphere in the workplace. The researcher also points out such essential criteria as respect, support, and effective communication. Clearly, communication and cooperation are crucial, as these are particular tools to create bonds and reveal respect, support, mindfulness.

Venkataramani, Labianca & Grosser (2013) pay more attention to social ties and notes that the development of positive ties is beneficial while the existence of negative ties can have detrimental effects leading to burnout, lack of motivation, and even increased turnover. It is noteworthy that negative ties that are associated with avoidance and mistrust do not have a significant negative impact if there are many positive ties. In other words, if an employee has a sufficient number of positive ties, he/she will be able to handle certain negative ties. Of course, it could be beneficial for the organization if employees developed proper relationships with each other.

Eschleman, Madsen, Alarcon, and Barelka (2014) identify another important criteria that can contribute to the creation of a friendly atmosphere in the working place. Creative work can help employees develop positive relationships at work. Eschleman et al. (2014) state that creative projects can be regarded as a tool to diminish burnout, increase motivation, improve communication, and the overall atmosphere in the working place.

It is necessary to note that all the criteria mentioned above are very important for the development of a positive atmosphere at work. According to my personal experience, these criteria are essential. At the same time, some researchers undermine the effects of certain criteria. First, it is necessary to note that trust is the primary criterion that affects the development of positive relationships at work. At my workplace, I have understood that trust makes people more cooperative and positive. When I was a newcomer, it was quite difficult to work on projects with employees who had worked there for a while.

Of course, within a certain period, I managed to become an effective member of the team and develop positive ties with my colleagues. Later, when I started working with newcomers, I understood that certain difficulties at the initial stage could be explained by the lack of trust. It is difficult to work with a person you cannot rely on, and you cannot rely on a person of you barely know him/her. We have always worked on quite serious and important projects in rather limited timespans. There could be no mistakes, and we simply could not give newcomers some crucial tasks that could undermine the success of the entire project.

Mindfulness, which is mentioned by Pravamayee (2014), is also very important for me personally, as it is one of the criteria for the development of trust and mutual respect. There was a person who was not mindful, and she did not take responsibility for her own words or actions. Clearly, it was almost impossible to rely on such a person and I could not trust her. I would say that I developed negative ties with this person and I tried to avoid her. Luckily, I did not need to work on the same projects with her and, hence, my negative ties did not affect my work or the atmosphere in the working place.

However, I still cannot agree with Venkataramani et al. (2013), who state that a significant number of positive ties can ‘neutralize’ effects of negative ties. I had a colleague who was focused on his own goals (rather than the goals of the company). I did not have to work on the same projects with him, but I had to address to him for certain information. Our collaboration was not very close, but we communicated quite often. Each communication session was quite hard and unpleasant. Avoidance and mistrust were characteristic features of our collaboration. During the periods of significant workload, I felt unmotivated, distressed, overwhelmed by fatigue.

There were times when I thought of quitting the job. At the same time, the rest of my social ties were positive and I loved working with my colleagues. It turns out that even if there is only one negative tie and the rest of the employee’s ties are positive, the employee can develop symptoms of burnout. My problem was solved when our communication stopped due to his transfer to another department.

I would also like to note that creative work is very important and Eschleman et al. (2014) provide helpful insights into its use at work. For instance, creative work helped me integrate into the team. We all participated in a charity project and we had to complete certain creative work. We worked in the team and we managed to develop proper communication channels with each other. I was a newcomer and no one knew me to trust or respect me. However, the creative project helped me reveal my mindfulness and professionalism as well as my desire to work in the team effectively.

In conclusion, it is possible to note that such criteria as trust, respect, mindfulness, effective communication and cooperation, as well as positive ties and creative work, are crucial for the development of positive relationships at work. Of course, each individual values these criteria differently, as there can be different settings. However, for me, they are essential though I also think that negative ties can significantly undermine the development of appropriate relationships at work.

Eschleman, K.J., Madsen, J., Alarcon, G., & Barelka, A. (2014). Benefiting from creative activity: The positive relationships between creative activity, recovery experiences, and performance-related outcomes. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology , 87 , 579-598. Web.

Manion, J. (2012). Building a healthy workplace? Start with the foundation of positive working relationships. MedSurg Matters , 21 (2), 4-5. Web.

Pravamayee, S. (2014). Strategy to develop an effective workplace environment. International Journal of Language & Linguistics , 1 (1), 57-61. Web.

Venkataramani, V., Labianca, G.J., & Grosser, T. (2013). Positive and negative workplace relationships, social satisfaction, and organizational attachment. Journal of Applied Psychology , 98 (6), 1028-1039. Web.

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"Positive Relationships in the Working Place." IvyPanda , 16 May 2020, ivypanda.com/essays/positive-relationships-in-the-working-place/.

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IvyPanda . 2020. "Positive Relationships in the Working Place." May 16, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/positive-relationships-in-the-working-place/.

1. IvyPanda . "Positive Relationships in the Working Place." May 16, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/positive-relationships-in-the-working-place/.

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IvyPanda . "Positive Relationships in the Working Place." May 16, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/positive-relationships-in-the-working-place/.

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The Power of Healthy Relationships at Work

• Emma Seppälä
• Nicole K. McNichols

Five research-backed principles to cultivate stronger workplace relationships.

Research shows that leaders who prioritize relationships with their employees and lead from a place of positivity and kindness simply do better, and company culture has a bigger influence on employee well-being than salary and benefits. When it comes to cultivating happiness at work, it comes down to fostering positive relationships at work. Citing research from the field of social psychology, the authors outline five core principles that make all relationships, personal or professional, thrive: 1) transparency and authenticity, 2) inspiration, 3) emotional intelligence, 4) self-care, and 5) values.

Kushal Choksi was a successful Wall Street quant who had just entered the doors of the second twin tower on 9/11 when it got hit. As Choksi describes in his best-selling book, On a Wing and a Prayer , his brush with death was a wakeup call. Having mainly focused on wealth acquisition before 9/11, he began to question his approach to work.

• Emma Seppälä , PhD, is a faculty member at the Yale School of Management, faculty director of the Yale School of Management’s Women’s Leadership Program and bestselling author of SOVEREIGN (2024) and The Happiness Track (2017). She is also science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education . Follow her work at emmaseppala.com , http://www.iamsov.com or on Instagram . emmaseppala
• Nicole K. McNichols  Ph.D. is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington where she teaches courses about sex and relationship science in addition to industrial and organizational psychology. Follow her work at  www.nicolethesexprofessor.com and on Instagram .

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College essays that worked and how yours can too.

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CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS - JULY 08: A view of Harvard Yard on the campus of Harvard University on ... [+] July 08, 2020 in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology have sued the Trump administration for its decision to strip international college students of their visas if all of their courses are held online. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

The college essay is a pivotal piece of the college application showcasing your individuality and differentiated outlook to admissions officers. What makes an essay truly shine? Let’s dive into the words behind three standout essays highlighted by university websites and a school newspaper's brand studio so you can get into the right mindset for crafting your own narrative.

Embracing Differences: Finding Strength In Uniqueness

Essay Excerpt: ‘Bra Shopping ’ (Harvard)

Featured by the Harvard Crimson Brand Studio , Orlee's essay recounts a student's humorous and insightful experience of bra shopping with her grandmother, weaving in her unique family dynamics and challenges at her prestigious school.

What Works:

• Humor and Honesty: The student's humor makes the essay enjoyable to read, while her honesty about her challenges adds depth.
• Self-Awareness: She demonstrates a strong sense of self-awareness, embracing her uniqueness rather than trying to fit in.
• Resilience: Her narrative highlights resilience and the ability to find strength in differences.

For Your Essay : To write an essay that embraces your uniqueness, start by identifying a quirky or challenging experience that reflects who a key insight into your experience. Think about how this experience has shaped your perspective and character. Use humor and honesty to bring your story to life, and focus on how you have embraced your differences to become stronger and more resilient.

Best High-Yield Savings Accounts Of 2024

Best 5% interest savings accounts of 2024, finding connections: humor and self-reflection.

Essay: ‘Brood X Cicadas ’ (Hamilton College)

As an example on Hamilton's admissions website, Nicholas writes about the cicadas swarming his hometown every 17 years and draws a parallel between their emergence and his own transition to college life. He uses humor and self-reflection to create a relatable and engaging narrative.

• Humor: Nicholas uses humor to make his essay entertaining and memorable. His witty comparisons between himself and cicadas add a unique twist.
• Self-Reflection: By comparing his life to the cicadas’, he reflects on his own growth and readiness for change.
• Relatability: His narrative about facing new experiences and challenges resonates with readers who have undergone similar transitions.

For Your Essay: To infuse humor and self-reflection into your essay, start by identifying an ordinary experience or object and think about how it relates to your life. Write down funny or insightful observations about this connection. Use humor to make your essay more engaging, but ensure it still conveys meaningful self-reflection. This balance can make your essay both entertaining and profound.

Persistence and Multicultural Identity: Life Lessons From Tortilla Making

Essay: ‘ Facing The Hot Griddle ’ (Johns Hopkins University)

In this essay published by Hopkins Insider, Rocio uses the process of making tortillas to explore her multicultural identity and the challenges she has faced. Her story beautifully weaves together her Guatemalan heritage and her experiences growing up in the United States.

• Metaphor and Symbolism: The process of making tortillas becomes a powerful metaphor for the student’s journey and struggles. The symbolism of the masa harina and water mixing parallels her blending of cultural identities.
• Personal Growth: The essay highlights her perseverance and adaptability, qualities that are crucial for success in college.
• Cultural Insight: She provides a rich, personal insight into her multicultural background, making her story unique and compelling.

For Your Essay: To write an essay that explores your identity through a metaphor, start by thinking about an activity or tradition that holds significant meaning for you. Consider how this activity relates to your life experiences and personal growth. Use detailed descriptions to bring the activity to life and draw connections between the process and your own journey. Reflect on the lessons you've learned and how they've shaped your identity.

A winning college essay isn’t simply about parading your best accomplishment or dramatizing your challenges. It’s not a contest for which student is the most original or entertaining. Rather, the essay is a chance for you to showcase your authenticity, passion, resilience, social awareness, and intellectual vitality . By sharing genuine stories and insights, you can create an essay that resonates with admissions committees and highlights your unique qualities.

For you to have the best possible essay, mindset is key. Here’s how to get into the zone:

• Reflect Deeply: Spend time thinking about your experiences, challenges, and passions. Journaling can help you uncover deep insights.
• Discuss and Share: Talking about your stories with friends, family, or mentors can provide new perspectives and emotional clarity.
• Immerse Yourself: Engage in activities that you are passionate about to reignite the feelings and memories associated with them.
• Draft Freely: Don’t worry about perfection on the first try. Write freely and honestly, then refine your narrative.

The secret to a standout college essay lies in its authenticity, depth, and emotional resonance. By learning from these successful examples and getting into the right mindset, you can craft an essay that not only stands out but also provides a meaningful insight into who you are. Remember, your essay is your story—make it a piece of writing that you will always be proud of.

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9 Qualities of the Most Successful Relationships

Unselfish, egoless, fair, current, and authentic..

Posted September 15, 2021 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

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• Characteristics of quality relationships include negotiating where resources are allocated in a fair way and regularly reassessing needs.
• Unselfish love, authentic communication, trust and a recognition of triggers from the past are also components of successful relationships.
• Acknowledging behaviors that are already a part of one's relationship can help a couple embrace others that they may want to attain.

In working with couples for more than four decades, I have been able to observe how committed partnerships are influenced by society’s changing definitions of what a quality relationship is. But despite those changing mores and values, I have also witnessed that some characteristics of successful relationships have remained constant independent of those influences.

I’ve compiled these beliefs and traits over many years, careful to sift and resift as quality relationships are subject to different expectations. The following nine illustrate what I have observed.

As you read through them, you will naturally ask yourselves which of them has been part of your own intimate relationships. Do not feel defeated if your relationship doesn’t include all of them. Focus, instead, on those that do apply. Acknowledging beliefs and behaviors that are already successful will give you more confidence to embrace those you may then want to attain.

1. The Fair Negotiation of Resources

Every relationship has only so many resources at different times and in different situations. Whether time, money, love, availability, or mental and emotional resilience , those resources must be allocated with fairness, generosity and understanding. Successful couples negotiated priorities together, deciding what each may need at any one time.

In times of abundance, those allocations are easier to manage. There is more of whatever each partner needs and can more easily meet requests, desires, or an emergency. When resources are depleted, successful couples know to adjust to those diminished coffers and negotiate to reach the best agreement they can.

2. Staying Current

Life’s demands change. Resources wax and wane. Different life stages require adaptations and adjustments. Losses are inevitable. Early dreams may fall by the wayside and new ones emerge. In so many ways, quality relationships are like businesses that grow and shift with what works to keep them functioning as optimally as possible.

Relationships are no different. What responses, offerings, and valuable contributions that may have been more than enough at one time must be able to continually transform as new requirements demand different reactions, resources, or priorities. People in quality relationships regularly re-assess how they need to alter who they are, what they can give or need, and how the relationship is doing in general. With ever new evaluations, they shore up what is faltering and let go of what is no longer working.

3. Unselfish Love

Love is comprised of the honest desire to seek the gratification of personal needs interspersed with making certain that your partner must thrive as well. Every intimate partner struggles between the need for safety and security and the desire for freedom to grow. The former maintains the comfort of predictability and the latter gives the relationship challenge and excitement.

Those of you who have supported your partner at your own expense know how scary it is to risk your own security to give your partner the opportunity to follow what he or she sees as offering more possibilities and altered dreams. Despite your insecurity, you know that it is the right thing to do no matter what the cost.

It is always better to know that your partner would rather be with you than somewhere else. But, if you know that he or she would thrive better away from you, holding them trapped to maintain your security will ultimately fail in the long run. The deepest form of love is to want what is best for each other even when that sacrifice brings potential fear of loss. The old adage, “Let something go free. If it is meant to come back, it will,” is profoundly true in successful relationships.

4. Congruent, Authentic, and Open Communication

Every bid for connection has both an altruistic and self-serving motive. Both are profoundly human responses and should be shared without shame . Though some strategy and diplomacy are part of every successful relationship, quality communication gives both partners a heads-up as to what is wanted and what the consequences might be if those needs are not granted.

Congruent communication occurs when a person’s body language , facial expressions, voice intonations, rhythm, and touch present the same picture. When people are comfortable with their good qualities, working on their limitations, and honest about that process, they are authentic and upfront, giving the other partner a full understanding of what to expect.

In all communication, there is the content of words and the way the partners are with each other as they are connecting. Words are useless if the process has gone sour. Good communicators are alert to these in-the-moment shifts, and immediately repair the interaction before returning to the content.

5. The True Meaning of Trust

At its most basic level, people who trust each other know that the other partner will not behave away from them any differently than they do when in each other’s presence. It’s as if there is a metaphysical tattoo in their presentation that signals “I am joyfully taken.” There is pride in the way either talks about the relationship to others. When they talk about the relationship with others, their sentences begin with “we” rather than “I.”

People change over time and that trust must be constantly renegotiated and shared. What can be seen can be changed. There is simply no room for negative surprises.

6. Triggers from Past Relationships

No one comes into a relationship without emotional baggage. Past losses, traumas , broken dreams, or disappointments from childhood until the current relationship are bound to rear their influence on a current relationship.

The way people resolve those past issues is a critical harbinger of how they can be triggered in their present relationship. The more both partners know about past entanglements and their consequences, the better they are prepared to differentiate between what is happening just between them and what may be surfacing as an old, unresolved situation from the past.

Both partners are quick to recognize the most obvious tell-tale signs: They start talking at each other from farther away, rather than to each other. There is little or no eye contact. They seem on a one-way street, focused on some other time and place where they may have felt irrelevant or helpless.

Asking yourself how old you feel when you are responding this way can help identify the earlier experience and how it may be contaminating the current interaction.

7. Consistent Expressions of What Is Working

Too often, many committed couples take for granted that the other knows he or she is loved. Most of their conversations tend to be about logistics, keeping each other informed about life events, sharing responses to what affects them, talking about future plans, or sharing what they are unhappy about.

If the couple is still together and prospering, it is evident that something lies underneath their more superficial interactions. But the other might not know or share those positive feelings. I have been with so many people who have unexpectedly lost a partner and suffer the most when they have not told the other how much they meant to them and why. Frequent expressions of authentic appreciation, tenderness, caring, special affections must be said aloud to make sure the other partner knows those feelings are still intact.

8. Egoless Leadership

Role definitions and their executions are not fixed in quality relationships. The partners are not defined by rigidly expected behaviors and effortlessly give leadership to the person who can do it best at the time. They are a team first, and winning means there is no automatic captain.

They are also non-competitive and respectful when one partner can shoulder a challenge better than the other because the other compensates where he or she can. They can fill in for each other when needed and have no ego around who may be better in any one area. Both are secure in being respected for who they are and what they bring to the table and know they are better off together than either could be alone.

9. Inquiry Before Judgment

Successful partners do not assume, guess, or come to conclusions about the other’s thoughts and behaviors without checking with each other as to the accuracy of their assumptions. They have learned that rapid reactions said in defense will not result in any meaningful resolution so they commit to asking for more clarity before they respond.

Many relationships break up because incorrect assumptions of another’s motives trigger mistrust , even when it is not warranted. Even people who have been together for many years mistake the other’s reasons or build-ups and react as if they know enough to respond accurately.

When either partner cannot take the time to make room for the entirety of the other before they react, the other partner over time will pull away, withhold, and sometimes disconnect. Everyone changes over time, and continuous reevaluation of the other partner can put a halt to those potential and often unnecessary damages.

These nine beliefs and subsequent actions are the underlying strengths in relationships that not only survive but thrive over time. They all share the same core. The partners treasure each other’s experience of life and each other.

Facebook image: Goksi/Shutterstock

Randi Gunther, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor in Southern California.

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At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that could derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face triggers with less reactivity and get on with our lives.

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Understanding Integers in Mathematics

This essay is about the concept of integers in mathematics. It explains that integers are whole numbers, including positive numbers, negative numbers, and zero, without any fractional or decimal parts. The essay covers the historical development of integers, their essential properties, and their importance in arithmetic operations, number theory, and various real-life applications. It also highlights the unique role of zero and the rules governing arithmetic operations with integers. The essay underscores the significance of integers in fields like algebra, calculus, and computer science, illustrating their foundational role in both theoretical and practical mathematics.

How it works

Okay, imagine math without integers—it’s like trying to build a house without bricks! Integers are those whole numbers that can be positive, negative, or zero. They’re the backbone of math, used in everything from simple adding and subtracting to super complex theories.

Way back in ancient times, folks in Babylon and Egypt were already using integers to count stuff and do basic math. But the idea of negative numbers took a bit longer to catch on. It wasn’t until around the 7th century in India that people started using negative numbers in a more organized way.

A smarty pants named Brahmagupta figured out rules for dealing with negative numbers, which was a big deal.

Integers are super important in number theory, which is all about how numbers work together. There’s this famous thing called the Fundamental Theorem of Arithmetic, which says every number bigger than 1 can be broken down into prime numbers in a unique way. It’s like finding the secret code to unlock any number—it shows just how cool integers are in the math world.

You use integers all the time without even thinking about it. Like, when you talk about temperatures above or below zero, or when you deal with money—credits and debits are just positive and negative integers playing a money game. Even in games, when you go up or down levels based on how you play, that’s integers in action.

Now, when you add or subtract integers, you gotta pay attention to those plus and minus signs. Adding a positive number to a negative one means figuring out which number is bigger and using its sign for the answer. Multiplying and dividing integers also have their own special rules, especially when it comes to mixing positive and negative numbers together.

Zero is a special integer—it’s the only one that’s not positive or negative. It’s like the chill dude in the integer family. In addition, zero doesn’t change any number when you add it, and it makes any number zero when you multiply it. It’s kinda like the superhero of integers, keeping things balanced.

Integers aren’t just for simple math—they’re used in algebra, calculus, and even computer science. In algebra, they help solve equations and figure out patterns. And in computer stuff, integers are used to count things, organize data, and make programs run smoothly.

Understanding integers is key for anyone who loves math or works with numbers. They might seem simple, but they’re the foundation for so much cool math stuff. From ancient times to now, integers have been there, helping people understand the world through numbers.

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Swiftie dads show the power of positive masculinity

The glittery dads at the eras tour are there for their kids, and there's a reason fathers love miss americana, by mary elizabeth williams.

It was still early in the day when the men with glitter in their copper beards started appearing on the streets. They had rhinestone cowboy hats on their heads. And they wore t-shirts that read “It’s me. Hi. I’m the dad. It’s me,” and “Spending a lot of money at the moment.” My family and I were in Cardiff for Taylor Swift’s Eras tour , and the Celtic dads were out in force and  ready for it . We’d just come to see Taylor. We left with a newfound appreciation of the power of positive masculinity .

I had long been aware of the existence of Swiftie dads — I live with one, after all — but had regarded them as more of the “singing along to ‘Shake It Off’ in the car” variety than the boa-clad men I witnessed strolling up and down the high street that bright June Tuesday. Yet there they were, enthusiastically bonding not just with their families but with each other, sharing a brotherhood in friendship bracelet-clad arms. And we experienced it firsthand when we bumped into an old friend of my spouse, his wife and young daughters in tow, wearing a shirt that read, “Dad (Taylor’s Version).”

Our modern epidemic of loneliness is significantly more dire in men, who today have roughly only half as many friends as they did a generation ago . That isolation can have a significant impact on their mental and physical health and lifespan . They also spend about half as much time with their children as mothers do — and, according to one Pew Research Center poll, the majority of them say that it’s not enough. But as Prince William himself could tell you — Taylor might be able to help you out there on a couple of fronts.

It’s not about spending money or going to concerts, although that stuff can be fun. Instead, it’s about the emotional power of fandom, within families and between friends — even if that fandom happens to skew bejeweled.

"The t-shirt is to signal to other dads, 'Hey bro, I see you.'"

Ben Valenta , coauthor (with David Sikorjak) of 2022’s   "Fans Have More Friends,"  has some advice for the haters. He tells me that “We dismiss Taylor Swift or our daughters’ interest in Taylor Swift as girly or a waste of time to our detriment. It’s an opportunity to connect and deepen our engagement with each other.” And when I describe the scene last week in Cardiff to him, he says, “What you were seeing is fandom in action. There are various layers of interaction happening. The dad is there with his daughters; that's the primary purpose. But the reason to wear the t-shirt is to signal to other dads, ‘Hey bro, I see you,’ and create opportunity for additional social interaction.” 

And also, to enjoy some really good music. Joseph Romm, a Senior Research Fellow at the Penn Center for Science, Sustainability and the Media (PCSSM) — and a man who has some solid suggestions for Taylor about what she can do about climate change — acknowledges that he first got into Taylor thanks to now teenaged daughter. But they’re going to see the tour in Toronto because they both appreciate her artistry, and the conversations her songs spark. 

“The first real introduction I had to Taylor in a big way was ‘Shake It Off,’” he recalls. “My daughter was seven. I've always been interested in the best storytellers, so there was a lot of bonding over music and storytelling. We saw the [“Eras Tour”] movie together, and we have endless debates about exactly what the songs mean, because, Taylor, as you know, likes to be cryptic. We have fun getting into arguments about ‘But Daddy I Love Him. ’ Is the final chorus really about Travis?’ he asks, adding, “I have very firm beliefs on that song.”

"There's a reason why your daughter is connecting with Taylor, and it's worth figuring out why."

For Romm, Swift provides a unique window into the experience of girlhood. “Taylor obviously has connected with these girls,” he says. “What she is saying clearly is resonating with girls like my daughter. That is important to understand.” He also authentically appreciates Swift’s work. “I always tell people to go to watch her NPR Tiny Desk concert , and you will see her musicianship,” he says. “You will see how she thinks about her music. And you'll get some very beautiful songs. I would say to dads, there's a reason why your daughter is connecting with Taylor, and it's worth figuring out why.”

Steve Knopper , an editor at large at Billboard, shares the sentiment. He’s been following Swift since his now 22-year-old daughter Rose was a 9-year-old fan. “When she was that age,” he recalls, “I was like, OK, my daughter is the center of the pop music universe. I'm just going to pay really close attention to what she listens to. I didn’t like all of it. But when she hit Taylor Swift — and she went through a massive Taylor Swift phase — I was like, I'm going to listen here with her. And we just listened to everything.” 

The two also saw Swift on her 2011 and 2013 tours. “I loved hanging out with Rose and experiencing that with her,” he says. “Connecting with Rose on a deeper level through music was incredibly rewarding. I remember talking about it with my ex-wife, ‘I think that Rose is lucky to have such a worthy pop star of her generation.’ Not every generation gets one of those.” He continues, “When I see stuff on social media where people around my age — men and women, but mostly men — are just determined to say she is lesser, I don't really understand that. She's not. She obviously isn't. She's great.”

A decade later, their tastes have diverged, but Knopper and his daughter’s foundation of bonding over music remains solid. “We're respectful of each other,” he says. “And it’s funny because we communicate about music in a way that's really easy. It's natural to us.” 

That’s the kind of future that tech executive Kevin Brown — the friend we ran into in Wales — hopes for. “I read once that if you want to have a good relationship with your kids, do the things that they're interested in,” he says, “and be a part of that.” He tells me, “I could have reverted to the classic, ‘I’m a dad, I'm not getting involved. This is for my wife and daughters.’ Or I could just go with it and have a blast. So I was like, great, where are the tattoos? Let's get them on. And I'm still actually trying to wash them off.”

Looking back on the trip, Brown says, “I felt incredibly lucky to be in a place in time where I could be fully present with my kids and participate. My daughters are six and nine; they'll soon be seven and 10. It was one of those moments where hopefully for them, but certainly for my wife and me, was going to be a lifetime memory.”

And when Eras ends, Ben Valenta hopes that dads continue to expand their opportunities for creating more of those special experiences. “One of the things we’ve focused on in our work in the last six months or so has been where fandom starts,” he says. “Fandom starts typically in the family. As we were going around the country spending time with families, it was very clear how gendered sports fandom was at the family level. Everyone sort of assumes that’s what the boys do.”

Now, though, he notes, “With the Swift phenomenon, you see dads thirsting for ways to connect with their daughters. I think if more people recognized that sports could be the same thing, they could utilize it in the same way. I’m all for connecting via Taylor Swift; I think that’s really positive. But I would suggest that Taylor Swift might have another tour, she might have two more tours. But the New York Yankees? They’re coming back next year and the year after that, forever. That’s the beauty of sports. If we can create that connection, we can have it forever, and it can be the tie that bonds forever.”

Those ties we form and keep forming with our kids — mine are university students, and the Taylor experience has been lifelong — happen when we meet them where they are, when we care more about what they care about than any limited gender norms. Real men can rock a boa just as well as a baseball cap. It's all a lot more enjoyable that way. And Dad might just discover some really cool stuff while making memories.

“When Rose was getting into Taylor Swift,” says Knopper, “I was trying to understand my daughter and her friends and bond with her. She’s listening to and exposing me to songs like ’15’ and ‘You Belong with Me.’ Suddenly, I'm getting these broadcasts, in the form of Taylor Swift, straight from the hearts of girls. It was a delightful phase with Rose. It lasted, I don't know, four or five years. I enjoyed every second of it. I’m sad it's over. And,” he says, “I still love Taylor Swift.”

about Taylor Swift

• Taylor Swift, grief therapist? How my late husband's Swiftie legacy brings our family comfort
• The problem with Taylor Swift's "I Hate It Here" is that it's regressive, not reflective
• Taylor Swift in the tortured poet’s workshop

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a senior writer for Salon and author of " A Series of Catastrophes & Miracles ."

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New publication finds positive relationships between biodiversity and green infrastructure in coastal Georgia

In a new study in Conservation Biology, researchers from UGA’s Institute for Resilient Infrastructure Systems, the UGA Skidaway Institute of Oceanography, and East Carolina University explore the relationship between infrastructure development and coastal biodiversity to predict changes in biodiversity under different infrastructure scenarios. 

Natural or “green” infrastructure uses natural processes as a foundation for built components to meet engineering objectives. Natural infrastructure (NI) projects along coasts can include the construction and maintenance of living shorelines as well as the conservation and/or restoration of salt marshes, dunes and reefs. NI methods can provide protections similar to traditional “gray” infrastructure, but preserve natural functions and provide environmentally-friendly co-benefits. 

This paper evaluates how the use of NI instead of traditional infrastructure can benefit long-term biodiversity. The authors analyzed the current proportions of gray and green shoreline infrastructure projects for shoreline protection, and compared different development scenarios to explore the magnitude of natural infrastructure projects that could help reverse the negative biodiversity impacts of past shoreline modification.

The study area, determined through an analysis of over 68,000 50-meter coastline segments across Southeast Georgia, mainly consisted of marshes and gray infrastructure. Using data from 2006-2021, the team created a model to show the predicted location of future shoreline modification and biodiversity changes for this area from the year 2018 to predict all the way out to 2102.

The analysis showed clearly that biodiversity losses in coastal ecosystems can be mitigated by the use of natural infrastructure instead of traditional gray infrastructure. 

Key findings:

• For all ecosystems, shoreline segments were more likely to be modified if an adjacent shoreline segment was modified.
• The proportion of modified shoreline increased rapidly from 2006 to 2018 and was projected to continue this trend. From 2006 to 2102, the researchers expected the total amount of modified shoreline in Georgia to increase from 5.9% to 46.7%.
• The impact of modification on biodiversity was dependent on the infrastructure approaches in new shoreline modifications. Currently, NI coastline modifications in Georgia can be approximated to 0%, as the field is still largely unknown and still being researched. When the researchers assumed this would remain true and that 100% of shoreline modifications would consist of gray infrastructure, biodiversity metrics were predicted to reduce by nearly 10% by 2102. Alternatively, if all new modifications were NI, biodiversity was predicted to increase by over 10% instead. For no net impact on biodiversity, nearly half of all future modifications would need to be NI.

The researchers took these approximations and created a “gradual adoption” plan for NI, predicting that the proportion of NI would increase by 6% every 6-year timestep. This forecast also resulted in a near-zero net impact to biodiversity by 2102 with the predicted modifications.

These results are extremely promising for the field of NI, but present a challenge to adopt the relatively new practices at a faster rate. “The adoption of NI is a powerful tool in mitigating biodiversity losses because many studies have found NI to have greater biodiversity than the natural counterpart,” the paper states. “[The] current amount of armoring and slower rate of change mean a much greater proportion of modification would need to be NI to fully mitigate biodiversity losses.”

The authors do note that increased biodiversity isn’t automatically a good thing– while their quantification of biodiversity consists of metrics like species richness, which indicates how many species are present in an ecosystem, this means even invasive species count towards positive biodiversity. The paper also concludes with a warning that these analyses are based on current data, and sea level rise due to climate change will continue to impact shoreline modifications and biodiversity in ways that are much harder to predict. 

More optimistically, the authors also note that NI technology has room to grow and could have even more positive effects on ecosystems in the future. In the final paragraphs of the paper, the researchers reassert that their data indicates the extremely positive benefits of NI for coastal modifications, and hope for the future of coastal biodiversity as our knowledge and practices surrounding NI grow. 

Find the full paper here . The author team for this publication includes Dan Coleman , Rachel Gittman , Craig Landry , James Byers , Clark Alexander , Paul Coughlin and Brock Woodson . Special thanks were also noted for Mark Risse , J. Scott Pippin and Kevin Samples .

Olivia Allen