how to make a toast speech

How to Give a Toast: A Guide for Memorable Speeches

• The Speaker Lab
• January 12, 2024

Table of Contents

Ever been at a party or event, glass in hand, when suddenly you’re asked to say a few words? The room goes silent. All eyes are on you. It’s your moment and…panic sets in. How exactly are you supposed to give a toast?

Fear not! Giving a memorable toast is an art that can be mastered by anyone. Think of it as sharing a piece of wisdom wrapped up with a little wit and warmth. To master this art, we’ve got the scoop for you—whether it’s understanding the essence of a good toast, learning common etiquette rules, or avoiding classic mistakes, we’ve got it all. And don’t worry—we’ll throw in some sparkling examples to inspire your own memorable moments.

Ready? Let’s delve into this guide and make sure next time those spotlight moments aren’t panic-stricken but applause-driven!

The Purpose of Toasts

Before actually delving into how to give a toast, it’s important to understand why you’re giving a toast in the first place.

Toasts can be used in multiple settings. They celebrate special occasions like weddings or anniversaries, they honor individuals on their birthdays or retirement parties, and they provide a platform to express gratitude during holiday gatherings.

In its simplest form, a toast can be seen as an act of storytelling with three main parts: introduction (setting up the context), body (the story itself), and conclusion (where we lift our glasses).

The story told through a toast should create emotional resonance while also sharing insights into the person or event being toasted. Essentially, the aim of a toast is to unite everyone present in celebrating shared values or accomplishments.

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Essential Elements of a Good Toast

To give a toast that leaves an impression, you need to master certain key elements. These include sincerity, brevity, humor, and timing.

A good toast comes from the heart. It’s not about using big words or complex sentences but conveying genuine emotions and sentiments. If you can share personal anecdotes or experiences related to the occasion or person being toasted, you’ll make your words that much more meaningful.

A memorable toast is concise. Aim for two minutes max—this isn’t your chance to tell every story about your friendship with the bride since kindergarten. When giving a toast, stay succinct for the most impact.

Injecting some well-placed humor into your speech can lighten up any occasion—but remember to keep it tasteful.

Pick the right moment for your tribute—it shouldn’t interrupt dinner or come too late in the evening when guests might be ready to leave.

Crafting Your Memorable Toast

Brainstorming is the first step in crafting your toast. To start, simply let your ideas flow without worrying about structure or editing. Don’t worry about editing or structure yet, just get all your ideas down on paper. If you need inspiration, consider personal stories, quotes you love, or keynotes speeches.

Once you have all your ideas down, it’s time to start sculpting them into a well-rounded toast. Start by picking out the most powerful points from your brainstorm session. Then create an outline with these points as your guideposts.

Next, rehearse. Rehearse your lines until they feel natural—this will help you give your toast confidently without stumbling over words. Don’t overdo it, though, that way you keep some spontaneity in your toast.

As you write your toast, make sure you adapt it both to the audience and the occasion. Wedding toasts, for example, should be written with the wedding party and other guests in mind. What kind of jokes or humor will they appreciate? Are you best friends with the bride and groom or more of a casual acquaintance? Make sure you think through these things as you craft your toast.

Delivering Your Toast

Your body speaks volumes even before you start your toast. Stand tall, shoulders back, and make sure to keep eye contact with the audience. This not only conveys confidence but also helps engage listeners.

Controlling Voice Modulation

Varying pitch and volume can bring life to your speech. But don’t overdo it. Use these tools wisely to emphasize key points or evoke emotion without becoming theatrical.

Harvard Business Review offers some great tips on voice control for speakers.

Maintaining Audience Engagement

Remember, delivering a toast is an interactive experience. You’re not just talking at people but connecting with them emotionally. To maintain an emotional connection, take pauses for dramatic effect or laughs. After all, pauses are part of the rhythm of public speaking.

If space allows, feel free to roam around since movement can add dynamism to your toast.

Lastly, enjoy yourself. A happy speaker often leads to a captivated audience.

Common Toasting Etiquette

Toasts can make or break a celebration. Knowing the etiquette rules will help you give an unforgettable toast.

First, remember to keep it brief. A long-winded speech might lose your audience’s interest.

Second, avoid embarrassing stories or inside jokes that not everyone gets. While they may seem hilarious to you, you’ll lose your audience if only half of the room understands (or appreciates) your references. Instead, aim for universal themes like love or friendship—something that will resonate with all attendees.

Third, keep things positive. After all, a toast is about honoring someone, so stick to compliments and kind words.

Last, be mindful of timing. Don’t start your toast too early or late in the event—and don’t forget to end by inviting others to raise their glasses and join in on your sentiment.

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An Example of a Successful Toast

Before actually delivering your toast, it may help to consider an example. Let’s check out one memorable toast that has resonated with crowds in the past.

This example is from an Oscar acceptance speech by Matthew McConaughey . At the beginning of his speech, McConaughey stayed positive, recognizing the talent of the other nominees for best actor and expressing gratitude for those who helped him along his journey. He wasn’t even afraid to use a little humor to get his audience laughing.

Then, he settled into the meat of his toast by talking about how he considered his future self to be his hero, the person he wanted to be. In this way, McConaughey connected with his audience over the universal theme of always striving to be better.

Remember: you don’t need fame or high stakes situations to give an impactful toast. What matters is authenticity and connection with your listeners.

Mistakes to Avoid When Giving a Toast

People presenting a toast should be aware of who they are addressing; failing to do so is one of the most common errors. It’s essential to tailor your words and tone for the crowd you’re speaking to.

In addition, avoid rambling on without structure or point. Keep it concise, focused, and relevant. Crafting a speech with purpose can help in this regard.

Another common mistake is forgetting about timing. Good speakers know that timing isn’t just about how long they speak but also when they pause for effect or humor.

Lack of Preparation

Neglecting preparation is another pitfall some fall into. Make sure you rehearse enough times so that nerves don’t get the better of you during your moment under the spotlight. Toastmasters offers great tips for dealing with stage fright.

Inappropriate Content

Last but not least, inappropriate content has no place in any toast. Jokes at someone else’s expense might get laughs from some, but they will more likely leave others feeling uncomfortable—let’s keep things classy.

How to Give a Toast FAQs

What do you say when you give a toast.

When giving a toast, share an uplifting message or story about the person or event being celebrated. Keep it heartfelt and brief.

How do you give someone a toast?

To deliver a toast, stand up, raise your glass, capture attention with engaging words, then finish by leading everyone in raising their glasses too.

What is the proper way to toast?

The right way to make a toast involves speaking clearly and sincerely. Always respect your audience’s time by keeping it short and sweet.

How do you start a toast speech example?

One simple way to start a toast: “Dear friends and family of [Name], let’s raise our glasses in tribute to this extraordinary moment…”

Mastering how to give a toast isn’t as hard as it seems, right? Not only have you learned the purpose of giving a toast, you’ve grasped essential elements like brainstorming and rehearsing. Of course, delivery matters too. The way you use body language and voice modulation can make or break your moment in the spotlight.

To ensure smooth sailing during your toast, we walked through common etiquette rules and even gave you a successful example to consider—plus a few mistakes you’ll want to avoid.

Last but not least, breathe easy—you have everything you need to give that perfect toast!

• Last Updated: February 29, 2024

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This acronym will help you give the perfect toast

Lauren Migaki

Clare Marie Schneider

It's the wild card of every big event — the toast.

It could be the drunk groomsman at a wedding or the rambling colleague at the retirement party or, perhaps, it's the friend who brings up politics or religion when they've been explicitly asked not to.

For stand-up comedian Atsuko Okatsuka , it was her father-in-law at her wedding. "And then he suddenly goes, I see there's a big Asian contingency here." The moment he brought up race, everyone went quiet.

"It's like a kid when they're playing I Spy, you know?" she says. "That's what he did. 'I spy Asians'."

"Then he tried to save himself. He went, 'and I love the Asians!'"

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This story comes from Life Kit , NPR's podcast to help make life better — covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends. For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow @NPRLifeKit on Twitter .

It's a memorable toast – but maybe not in the way Okatsuka had hoped.

If you've been asked, or volunteered yourself, to give a toast, we've got some handy tips to make sure people remember your speech with fondness – not horror.

Start with T-O-A-S-T, a helpful acronym from author and award-winning speaker Ramona J. Smith , plus a couple of helpful additions:

T — Tell a story

There's a simple formula to a good toast: Introduce yourself, tell a story, connect that story to the event and wrap it up (time to hit the dance floor!) The biggest challenge is choosing the right story for the occasion and audience.

Every family has stories to tell. Here's how to document yours

Journalist Clare Roth , who has been to 36 weddings, says recording memories on voice memos was particularly helpful. For the occasion, she landed on this sweet and short story:

"There's an anecdote in my mother's diary from when I was three months old, where she heard my sister shout, 'I can't carry you anymore, baby!' And she came out and she was holding me by my skull and I had twigs and leaves in my hair because apparently she had dropped me a few times already. ... It's just so demonstrative of how she will charge ahead, but she wants you to be right there with her. ... And that's why she's going to be such an amazing wife."

Roth says this anecdote worked for the occasion, because it was not only "demonstrative of the relationship that my sister and I had but also related to how she would be as a partner."

Once you share an intimate but relatable anecdote, you can close with a lighthearted joke or offer your best wishes.

O — Optimism is key

How to tell a captivating story — from a wedding toast to a job interview

"Don't give a sad story and leave everyone crying, especially if it's at a beautiful wedding or at a baby shower or somewhere where the mood is already festive," says Smith.

Smith is the 2018 winner of the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking. The opening of her award-winning speech was bleak — it highlighted her personal and professional failures. But with humor and optimism, she continued discussing how those experiences have failed to knock her down – by the end of her speech, the audience was singing along with her to Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

Smith compares her craft of speech writing to spicy chicken wings – "Just dip [the audience] in the hot sauce for a little bit and then we gonna cool off with the ranch."

A — Authenticity and vulnerability are better than humor

Dan Perlman is a stand-up comedian, but when it comes to making toasts, " the more successful toasts I've given have been ones where I was vulnerable," he says.

When he spoke at his childhood friend's wedding this summer, he shared an anecdote about them playing basketball and growing up together. Perlman did manage to find an opportunity for some subtle teasing — but remember, it's a toast, not a roast!

S — Speeches require practice

Try reading your speech aloud before you give it live. Even consider sharing it with a trusted friend or family member to look it over.

If you have stage fright, standup comedian Okatsuka has a tip for that: tell yourself that you aren't nervous but rather, too excited. " So instead of shaking from the nerves or feeling a pit in your stomach from the nerves, it turns into butterflies from excitement," she says.

Want To Listen Better? Turn Down Your Thoughts And Tune In To Others

While you're delivering your speech, find an audience wingperson. "Focus on people in the audience who are paying attention and are giving good energy," says Perlman.

You could even ask a friend ahead of time to be this person for you!

And if you get thrown off track while speaking, don't forget: "You're allowed to stop and think. You're allowed to pause and breathe," says Ana Silva.

Silva, who teaches and performs improv, also points out that there are certain elements you cannot control when giving a toast. Just as stand-up comedy has hecklers, wedding toasts have drunk audiences.

"If it's something that is disrespectful in a rude way, I think shutting it down immediately is fantastic," she says. "If it's someone who's just really excited and wants to be part of it. I think a light touch is fine. ... 'I'm so glad cousin Susie is in on this. Let me keep going, Susie.'"

Silva also says that if you're in the audience, you have a role to play as well. " It's all about supporting the people around you." Remember to be generous with your attention, laughter, and applause.

T — Timing. Shorter is better

"I've never been annoyed that a toast is too short," says Perlman, who recommends keeping it between 90 seconds to two minutes.

Wedding enthusiast Roth suggests a range of two to three minutes. "No one is going to get angry about being able to drink their champagne sooner, " she says.

Point is, we all have short attention spans. When you practice reading your speech aloud, make sure that you time yourself.

Never drink before a toast

You don't have to drink to celebrate the holiday season

6 Ways To Take A Break From Drinking

If there is one guaranteed way to ensure that you do not bomb this toast, it's this piece of wisdom from Smith: "Never drink alcohol before you give a speech," she says. "You don't want to slur. You don't want to come off as sloppy."

Drinking can also make you prone to rambling on too long, or throwing in an inappropriate, unnecessary joke, so it's best to avoid it altogether.

Don't wait for the perfect occasion

Toasts are a way to tell people you love them. And Roth says, we don't do that enough. "More toasts please!" she says. "It is wonderful to say the quiet part out loud, when the quiet part is... the love you have for your friends and family. Let's bring toasts back in fashion."

The podcast portion of this story was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

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How to Write a Toast Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide

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Are you tasked with delivering a toast speech, but don't know where to start? Fear not, we're here to help. Whether you're celebrating a milestone or achievement, expressing gratitude and appreciation, or simply entertaining and engaging your audience, crafting a memorable toast speech requires careful preparation and a bit of know-how. In this article, we'll take you through a step-by-step guide for writing an effective toast speech that will leave your audience feeling impressed and inspired.

Understanding the Purpose of a Toast Speech

Before you begin writing your toast speech, it's important to understand the purpose of the speech itself. Toasts are typically given to honor someone or celebrate a significant event, such as a wedding or milestone birthday. Within these broader categories, there are typically three main reasons for delivering a toast speech:

Celebrating a Milestone or Achievement

If you're giving a toast to celebrate a milestone or achievement, your speech should focus on the significance of the accomplishment and the hard work that went into achieving it. Consider including anecdotes or personal stories that highlight the honoree's dedication and perseverance.

Expressing Gratitude and Appreciation

If you're toasting someone as a form of thanks or appreciation, your speech should be centered around highlighting the person's qualities or actions that you are grateful for. This is an opportunity to express how much the honoree means to you, and how their actions have impacted the lives of others.

Entertaining and Engaging the Audience

Finally, if your toast speech is meant to be a lighthearted or entertaining moment during an event, your speech should be geared towards amusing and engaging the audience. Consider including jokes, anecdotes, or funny stories that will have your listeners laughing and enjoying the festivities.

Preparing to Write Your Toast Speech

Now that you have a clear understanding of why you're giving a toast, it's time to start preparing for the speech itself. Here are some tips for getting started:

Knowing Your Audience

When crafting a toast speech, it's important to consider who your audience will be. Are you speaking at a formal event, or is this a more casual affair? Understanding your audience will help you tailor your speech to their expectations and ensure that you strike the right tone.

Researching the Subject of the Toast

If you're toasting someone that you don't know very well, it's important to do a bit of research beforehand. Learn about the honoree's accomplishments and background, and consider talking to others who know them well to gain insight into their personality and character.

Gathering Personal Stories and Anecdotes

To make your toast speech truly memorable, it's important to incorporate personal stories and anecdotes that highlight the honoree's unique qualities and accomplishments. Consider reaching out to mutual friends or family members for inspiration, or reflecting on your own experiences with the honoree.

Crafting the Perfect Introduction

Once you've done some initial research and brainstorming, it's time to start writing your toast speech. Here are some tips for crafting a compelling introduction:

Grabbing the Audience's Attention

Starting your speech off with a bang is crucial for getting your listeners engaged and attentive. Consider opening with a personal anecdote, a surprising fact, or a humorous story to immediately grab their attention.

Setting the Tone for Your Speech

After you've captured your audience's interest, it's important to set the tone for the rest of your speech. Consider how you want your listeners to feel by the end of your speech, and make sure that your introduction fits with that overall tone.

Introducing Yourself and Your Connection to the Honoree

Finally, don't forget to introduce yourself and your connection to the honoree. This will help to establish your credibility as a speaker and give context to your speech.

Developing the Body of Your Speech

Now that you've set the stage for your speech, it's time to delve into the heart of the matter. Here are some tips for crafting a memorable body for your toast speech:

Sharing Personal Stories and Experiences

Personal anecdotes and stories are key to making your toast speech memorable and engaging. Choose stories that showcase the honoree's unique qualities and accomplishments, and be sure to tie them back to the overall theme or message of your speech.

Highlighting the Honoree's Accomplishments

If you're toasting someone to celebrate a milestone or achievement, it's important to reflect on their accomplishments and offer recognition for their hard work and dedication. Make sure to highlight specific achievements and give credit where credit is due.

Incorporating Humor and Emotion

To keep your audience engaged and invested in your speech, it's important to balance humor and emotion throughout. This will help to keep the mood light and entertaining, while also conveying the significance of the moment.

Wrapping Up Your Toast Speech

Now that you've laid out the body of your toast speech, it's time to bring it all together. Here are some tips for crafting a memorable conclusion:

Summarizing Your Main Points

As you wrap up your toast speech, take a moment to recap the main points that you've covered. This will help to reinforce the overall theme or message of your speech and ensure that your listeners come away with a clear understanding of your message.

Expressing Your Gratitude and Best Wishes

Finally, be sure to express your gratitude and well wishes for the honoree. This is a chance to offer your congratulations and convey how much the person means to you and those around them.

Closing on a High Note

As you conclude your speech, aim to end on a high note. Consider sharing a final personal anecdote or offering a heartfelt toast to the honoree. This will leave a lasting impression and ensure that your speech is remembered for years to come.

ChatGPT Prompt for Writing a Toast Speech

Use the following prompt in an AI chatbot . Below each prompt, be sure to provide additional details about your situation. These could be scratch notes, what you'd like to say or anything else that guides the AI model to write a certain way.

Compose a speech that is intended to be delivered as a toast, with the goal of expressing congratulations, appreciation, or admiration for a person or group of people. The speech should be well-crafted and thoughtful, and should effectively convey the intended message to the audience. The speech may be delivered in a formal or informal setting, and should be appropriate for the occasion and the audience.

[ADD ADDITIONAL CONTEXT. CAN USE BULLET POINTS.]

Writing a memorable toast speech requires careful preparation, a bit of research, and a lot of heart. By following the step-by-step guide outlined in this article, you'll be well on your way to crafting a speech that will impress and inspire your audience. Remember to tailor your speech to the occasion and your audience, incorporate personal anecdotes and stories, and balance humor and emotion throughout. With these tips in mind, you're sure to deliver a toast speech that will be remembered for years to come. Cheers!

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22 Toast Speech

Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers ,  slainte ,  skal ,  prost , and  salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

When thinking about your toast, don’t just think about the person you are toasting but about everyone in the room and think about how to bring them into your speech.  Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process.  Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying:  Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children.  What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him.  And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories. Tell your story in a way that the audience relives the moment with you.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present.  Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room.  As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be?  It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes.  On the other hand, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas.  Think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.   Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

For more on brainstorming

  Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use.  Allow yourself to write down some cheesy things—by cheesy, I mean those ideas that are silly, extreme, or not right for the occasion. Just go with it. Write those cheesy ideas down, maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction. In this next section, I will show you how that works.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over which music is played, he told stories about bathroom breaks, and he confessed that his friend was always getting lost. These were fun stories and by hearing them we could all imagine the friendship they shared. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus that she graduated from seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways.  She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container.  If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories.  Make sure to develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period.  Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
•  Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

  Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and always keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it. 

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague of the person retiring:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse of the person retiring:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast Possible Patterns

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme. 

Anniversary Toast Patterns

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem.  There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. “Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem: 

• The glass is pretty;  you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made.  At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen.  Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass.  Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.”  One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is “no, you do not drink to yourself.”

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro.  Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass and fake it.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorm About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

Story What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome or a story of where you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen this person grow?

Stuff What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

The Person What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and She taught us that golf can be fun. We even learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you! I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches. Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity

To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat

To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time

Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “

To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was “Woah, Korey I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers,” but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and  I was thankful for you.

Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and come back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Burlingame, J.  Best man toast. Advanced Public Speaking. University of Arkansas.

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass  http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts.  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• matthieu-joannon-6ciLddToTgM-unsplash © Mattheiu Joannon is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license
• marcel-gross-marcelgross-ch-sHTwDYKti6Q-unsplash © Marcel Gross is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license

Advanced Public Speaking Copyright © 2021 by Lynn Meade is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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4.4: Toast Speech

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Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers , slainte , skal , prost , and salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

You are not talking to an audience; you are sharing with an audience. You are celebrating with them and collectively celebrating shared values and shared appreciation for a person/persons and their accomplishments. Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process. Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech. This speech is for everyone present.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying: Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children. What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him. And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present. Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room. As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be? It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes. On the other, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas. Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories. The next day after brainstorming, your brain will keep cranking out ideas …write them down immediately, put them on a notepad on your phone, or even call yourself and leave yourself a voicemail of the new ideas. Don’t lose them or let them get away.

Let’s think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use. Allow yourself to even write down some cheesy things—maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together and the vehicle that helps ideas move from place to place.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over the music, having to take bathroom breaks, and his friend always getting lost. These were fun stories that we could all imagine. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways. She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container. If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories. Make sure to fully develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period. Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
• Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it.

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme.

Anniversary Toast

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem. There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May the best of your past be the worse of your future. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

“Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem:

• The glass is pretty; you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made. At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen. Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass. Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.” One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is no, you do not drink to yourself.

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro. Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorming About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome of you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen them grow?

What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship

How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

To Blake who has taught us the importance of enjoying life to the fullest, whether fly fishing or spending time with loved ones. You’re a man of great humor. You’re a man who has brought us all to tears with your Tommy Boy impression. You’re a man who embodies the word “chill” Every time I would look over in class, you would be just sitting back and smiling. You were always a great person to make a speech to, because even if the speech was bad, we could look over and you’d still be smiling.

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and she taught us that golf can be fun. We learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you!

I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches.

Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “ To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was woah Korey

I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers, but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and I was thankful for you. Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and came back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts. http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license