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Ego is the Enemy Book Review | 11 Lessons + Quotes

Blog , Books , Personal Development / October 1, 2021 by admin / 1 Comment

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I’ve just finished Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. Here is my book review with the lessons I’ve learned, plus inspirational quotes.

Read also: 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think Book Review

Read also: The Unfair Advantage Book Review | 11 Lessons + Quotes

Book Review

“Ego Is The Enemy” is a very ‘tough love’ and ‘no-bs’ book. It highlights the many different ways ego can be our downfall and how to rise above our ego through interesting real-life examples you’ve probably not heard of before. The book is relatively short, with short chapter sizes that are comfortable to read. 

1. You’re not more important than others; you’re not entitled to succeed; you’re not above certain types of work

“The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, but humility, diligence, and self-awareness.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room—until you change that with results.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

Feeling above others or certain types of work is the fastest way to sabotage any attempts at succeeding in life. 

Especially in the beginning stages of your journey, you often have to do dirty work to get off the ground. Maybe this comes in the form of being the coffee boy at your law firm or writing hundreds of emails asking for a chance to guest post on a popular blog. 

It doesn’t matter how superior you feel. As long as you don’t have anything convincing to show for it, your entitlement will impress exactly no one. 

Only your hard work will. 

2. Stop talking about your actions and plans; spend your energy on doing

“In fact, many valuable endeavors we undertake are painfully difficult, whether it’s coding a new startup or mastering a craft. But talking, talking is always easy.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“Talk depletes us. Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it with actual progress. The same goes for verbalization.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“Success requires a full 100 percent of our effort, and talk flitters part of that effort away before we can use it.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

Planning and dreaming are fun. It makes us feel all excited and organized. 

However, it gets us exactly nowhere. 

Sure, we need some vague basic plan on how to proceed and where to go. But this needs to be far less elaborate than we try to tell ourselves. 

All you need is a goal and a starting point. From there on, the only thing to get you towards success is action. 

Stop telling people about your goals and a grand vision. Get yourself, one accountability buddy, if necessary, but beyond that, stay silent and get sh#t done! 

Everything else is a waste of energy.

3. Decide what’s more important to you: To BE something or to DO something

“Appearances are deceiving. Having authority is not the same as being an authority. Having the right and being right are not the same either. Being promoted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing good work and it doesn’t mean you are worthy of promotion (they call it failing upward in such bureaucracies). Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

Being a student is easy. Studying not so much. That’s why there are many long-running students without a degree to show for their studies.

Having a blog is not the same thing as blogging. Many people have a blog they’ve abandoned after half a year of not getting anywhere. Far fewer people are blogging consistently every week for years until they succeed. 

Focus more on DOING than on BEING. The latter will deceive you into thinking you are succeeding, only to have this pretty picture crumbling around you in the long term.

4. Studious self-assessment is key

“The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“A true student is like a sponge. Absorbing what goes on around him, filtering it, latching on to what he can hold. A student is self-critical and self-motivated, always trying to improve his understanding so that he can move on to the next topic, the next challenge. A real student is also his own teacher and his own critic. There is no room for ego there.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

How does one become a master? He starts as a student and works his way up the ladder.

What does it mean to be a student? Being a student means learning from people more experienced than you through books, mentors, courses, school, etc. 

Learning doesn’t mean knowing, so we test ourselves regularly. And if we don’t do well, we do some self-assessment to analyze the problem and try to see how we can improve. 

This cycle goes on and on until, at some point, our ego sneaks in and convinces us that we have learned all there is and that we are the master now. 

Perhaps that might even be true for a short while, but certainly not in the long term. 

If we don’t keep up with being students, we will fall behind our competitors and the ever-changing world. 

5. Passion can be the problem, not the solution

“Passion typically masks a weakness. Its breathlessness and impetuousness and franticness are poor substitutes for discipline, for mastery, for strength and purpose and perseverance. “ – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“What humans require in our ascent is purpose and realism. Purpose, you could say, is like passion with boundaries. Realism is detachment and perspective.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

We all know that work doesn’t feel like work if we are passionate about it. With passion, we are capable of giving 120% instead of our usual best. 

Sadly, many people take this as an excuse for why they can’t succeed. If they would finally find their passion, they argue, everything would be different. 

However, they don’t realize that passion can be a problem just as much as the solution. 

Passion alone rarely suffices to get you to succeed. As soon as passion wanes, you are going to need discipline and perseverance to keep going. 

So never rely solely on passion on your journey to success. Don’t use a lack of passion as an excuse for giving up or not even trying.

6. Helping others helps yourself in the long-run

“Make other people look good and you will do well.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“Clear the path for the people above you and you will eventually create a path for yourself.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

It sucks if someone takes credit for your hard work. It sucks if your effort is helping someone else, yet you are seemingly stuck where you’ve started. 

But throwing in the towel or demanding recognition is not the solution. 

Sometimes you just have to give, give, give and be patient before you start receiving. 

7. Don’t let your daydreams saturate your craving for a better life

“Living clearly and presently takes courage. Don’t live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if—especially if—it’s uncomfortable. Be part of what’s going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“The distinction between a professional and a dilettante occurs right there—when you accept that having an idea is not enough; that you must work until you are able to recreate your experience effectively in words on the page.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

We need to visualize our goals before we can reach them. In fact, studies have proven that imagining themselves training can substitute in part for real physical training for athletes. 

The visualization activates the same brain areas that would be activated if you were doing the actual activity. 

As great as this is, it can backlash. If we imagine our success too often, it will saturate our craving for success because it feels like we’ve already accomplished it.

And without that craving, why would we step outside of our comfort zone?

8. You don’t always have to defend your honor

“We have to stand up for ourselves, right? But do we? So often, this is just ego, escalating tension more than dealing with it.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

Sometimes you have to suck up some amount of mistreatment on your way to the top. Ego is the Enemy highlights a heartbreaking but very illustrative example of a black athlete who had to keep his head down in the face of harsh and very public racism to rise to the top. 

You might also encounter opponents like sexists or racists that try to take a hit at you every chance they get. They try to provoke you into acting out so that you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for. 

Only by remaining calm and keeping your ego in check can you rise into a place of power, in which you can defend your honor without risking your future. 

Mind you, if there are ways for you to speak out against your tormentors without it damaging your climb to success, go for it! Just make sure to not do it blindly because your ego demands revenge. 

9. Don’t wallow in self-pity; make use of the bad luck to the best of your abilities

“Make use of what’s around you. Don’t let stubbornness make a bad situation worse.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

There is always something good that can be wrung out of the worst luck in some shape or form.

It’s immensely hard to see it that way, and most people let their ego lead them to comforting self-pity.

If you manage to withstand this urge, you will come out the other side much quicker and in better shape than most people.

10. Set your own standards of success, and you won’t care about outside approval or criticism

“It’s far better when doing good work is sufficient. In other words, the less attached we are to outcomes the better. When fulfilling our own standards is what fills us with pride and self-respect. When the effort—not the results, good or bad—is enough.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

“Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

Nobody knows you as well as you do. You know your skills, your history, and your goals. 

The metric others set for success won’t always feel like a good fit for you. 

Most people might see a B in school, not as something worth many celebrations. However, if you’ve always struggled and never managed to get anything above a C, this is a huge success!

On the other hand, it’s also ok to be unhappy with an outstanding grade if you know you could have done even better. 

Don’t let other people’s standards hold you back from pushing yourself to the next level.

11. Don’t aspire to mere success; aspire to thrive despite anything life throws at you

“This is what we’re aspiring to—much more than mere success. What matters is that we can respond to what life throws at us. And how we make it through.” – Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy)

There are a million ways to succeed in life. The thing about success is, however, that there is always a bit of luck involved. 

You know luck in the sense of having been in the right place at the right time to take advantage of opportunities, information, or other resources. 

The flipside of that is that bad luck can hit us just as much and destroy or at least diminish our success.

So while striving for success is a good goal, it would be much better to seek the strength and resourcefulness that enables you to thrive in any situation. 

If you manage that, you will be wildly successful during lucky times and do well enough during unfortunate times. 

Have you read Ego is the Enemy already? If so, what lesson or story stood out the most to you? 

Also, I’m curious, what are you currently reading? 

Share your thoughts with us!

Until next time, lovely Felicity Seeker!

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Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday: Book Summary, Key Lessons and Best Quotes

“Ego is the enemy of what you want and of what you have: Of mastering a craft. Of real creative insight. Of working well with others. Of building loyalty and support. Of longevity. Of repeating and retaining your success. It repulses advantages and opportunities. It’s a magnet for enemies and errors. It is Scylla and Charybdis.” Ryan Holiday

The book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday is filled with cautionary tales of those who let their egos run amok and were eventually undone by the resulting damage, as well as stories of those who practiced restraint and sobriety , and found success in their endeavors. This book can be an antidote (or at least the beginning of one) to the unraveling that is possible when one indulges ego and loses sight of reality—if you let it: “Not in the Freudian sense,” Holiday says of ego, but ego in the colloquial sense, as in “an unhealthy belief in your own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition.”

Ego Is the Enemy , published in 2016, is Ryan Holiday’s fourth book . It was a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, international bestseller, and even has a following among the Seattle Seahawks, Olympic gold medalists, bestselling authors, CEOs, politicians, and many others.

This is the second book in which he draws from the principles of Stoicism ; while his previous book, The Obstacle Is the Way , focused on overcoming life’s external obstacles. Holiday’s background is as a media strategist. Ryan dropped out of college at the age of nineteen to apprentice under Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power . Within six years, he became the youngest executive at a Beverly Hills talent management agency, advised authors who sold millions of copies of their books, became the director of marketing at American Apparel, built a successful company, Brass Check, and has written for publications ranging from Forbes to Thought Catalog to The Guardian. Then, in 2014, Holiday witnessed firsthand the effects of ego as American Apparel, the talent agency, and a relationship with a mentor all simultaneously unraveled:

“These were the people I had shaped my life around. The people I looked up to and trained under. Their stability—financially, emotionally, psychologically—was not just something I took for granted, it was central to my existence and self-worth. And yet, there they were, imploding right in front of me, one after another.”

In this way the author’s own experiences directed the book he was already contracted to write, and Ego Is the Enemy became: “…the book I [Holiday] wish existed at critical turning points in my own life.”

The book is structured as short essays split into three parts: Aspire, Success, and Failure.  These being three phases that one invariably finds themselves in at any given moment, often alternating between them over the course of a life. As the book says, “Aspiration leads to success (and adversity). Success creates its own adversity (and, hopefully, new ambitions). And adversity leads to aspiration and more success. It’s an endless loop.”

In addition to these three phases, there are a few major themes running through each part of the book, as well as how people can successfully conquer their ego in each phase.

Three Key Themes From Ego Is The Enemy

1. live with purpose not passion.

Having purpose will help you accomplish life changing work. Holiday says the first thing you need to do is ask yourself, “why do I do what I do?” If you don’t have an answer to this question, you should take some time to figure it out .

Most people aren’t living on purpose. They wander around life distracted, looking for the next form of gratification, wondering why they aren’t happy and why they don’t get what they want. They drive to a job they hate to pay for a car that brings them to that job, which also pays for a house they abandon during the day to go to that job. The ego loves the comfort a “secure” job has, but purpose, as well as the best things, happen outside of your comfort zone.

On the other hand, many harmonious and effective people have found that answering the following questions helped them live with purpose: Why do I do what I do? Who am I? What purpose am I serving?

Once one chooses to pursue the critical work over ego , how does one determine what that work is? Bill Walsh , the coach who took the 49ers from being the worst team in the NFL to the Super Bowl, is a great example of someone picking the critical work. He did not focus on some vague notion of “winning.” He knew that focusing on the basics and perfecting those would lead to success. He could change what the team was doing and how effectively they were working, but he could not put on a definitive timeline when the next win would happen. He was attached to effort (the part that could be controlled) not outcomes (which were out of his control) . His standards were simple and ground level changes rather than fantastic visions, but by implementing them, as the saying goes, “the score takes care of itself.” Hall of Fame college basketball coach John Wooden also had a similar perspective as he led his team to winning ten basketball championships in twelve years. These coaches had clarity, discipline & patience in their ascent to mastery. They knew their purpose and their work brought them joy.

The Greeks used the word Euthymia for this which is a sense of our own path and how we can stay on it without getting distracted. Prioritize your goals with clarity and then follow through. True confidence comes from putting in the time; it comes from discipline and mastery. One important point to note is that critical work is not helped by passion . It requires deliberation, not blind emotion, otherwise it is subject to the delusions of ego. Divorced from reality, an endeavor cannot succeed. People who are passionate will tell you all the things they are going to do, but they can never show you any progress, because there usually isn’t any. They talk a lot, but get little done. People who are driven by purpose don’t need to talk about their work because you will see the results. It’s okay to be passionate, but be passionate with discipline. Execute with excellence. Remain humble ; know that you always have more to learn:

“The critical work that you want to do will require your deliberation and consideration. Leave passion for the amateurs. Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be.”

Get to know your ego, but once you make the choice to manage your ego and pursue your purpose, be prepared for when people try to sabotage you. An illustration the book uses is of Jackie Robinson, who showed incredible restraint in the face of adversity. As the first African American to play Major League Baseball, fans, coaches and other players were openly racist to him as he was on the field and batting. If Robinson would have reacted to these injustices with his ego, he would not have had the impact he is still having today; he was driven by a higher purpose .

Our adversities likely pale in comparison to Jackie Robinson’s, but the only thing we can be  sure of when we are embarking on an endeavor is that there will be adversity and we will very  likely be treated poorly. In these situations, there are two things to remember: 1) It degrades  others, not you, when they treat you poorly and unfairly , and 2) Choose alive time over dead  time.

The second point requires further elaboration. Malcolm X went to jail for years. While there, he read voraciously , and left a much more educated man than when he had entered. He couldn’t do much about his circumstances, but he did choose what to do while he was in those circumstances . Many people go to prison, but some take the time to learn from their mistakes and change their lives when they leave, and others end up back in prison not long after.

Alive time is time when you are actively using your time usefully and improving; dead time is  time you spend passive. We may not always be able to choose our circumstances, but we can always choose whether we want to make our time alive time or dead time. Viktor Frankl was able to refine his theories of meaning and suffering from Nazi concentration camps. Francis Scott Key wrote what would become the national anthem of the United States while a prisoner of war. The question the book leaves hanging:

“…this moment is not your life. But it is a moment in your life. How will you use it?”

   2.  Always Be a Student

The greatest leaders and wisest thinkers have all been students of life. They possessed a unique curiosity about life and had the discipline to constantly be learning. Many people get overly confident in one area and forget that they know so little about everything else. The ego tries to build an identification with success, withholding you from learning more, but learning is a requirement, especially in the beginning. The book explains that when you are just starting out you need to remember: You aren’t as good as you think you are, you probably need your attitude readjusted, and the things you learned in books or school are out of date or wrong.

Many factors will determine the success you will reach as you’re starting out, one of them being your willingness to listen to feedback, especially critical feedback . The book discusses an amateur as being defensive to critical feedback, but a professional as delighted in being challenged to learn more. It illustrates the idea of a real professional with Kirk Hammett, lead guitarists of the heavy metal band Metallica. After Metallica recruited him he quickly found a teacher so that he could become even better. Metallica went on to become one of the most successful bands in the world, and throughout all this success, Kirk remained humble and continued learning. According to the book, If you’re not still learning, you’re already dying.”

Hammett demonstrated the qualities of a true student:

“A true student is like a sponge. Absorbing what goes on around him, filtering it, latching on to what he can hold. A student is self-critical and self-motivated, always trying to improve his understanding so that he can move on to the next topic, the next challenge. A real student is also his own teacher and his own critic. There is no room for ego there.”

To become the best you can be, and to maintain that greatness you need to have a student mindset. You need to always be learning. Everything in life has something to teach you , but ego gets in the way of opportunities you have had or will have. The ego tells you that you shouldn’t do an internship because you are overqualified for it. The ego doesn’t want to do the grunt work because it thinks it’s too good for that. People living with purpose look past this, and they focus on what is important, believing in what they need to do. Appreciate the opportunity. Take the internship. Put in the time and effort, and learn. Think long-term, this investment will pay dividends in the future, the book explains:

“Humility is what keeps us there, concerned we don’t know enough and that we must continue to study. Ego rushes to the end, rationalizes that patience is for losers (wrongly seeing it as a weakness), and assumes we’re good enough to give our talents a go in the world.”

Humility can be gained by thinking about that bigger picture of life . Think about the vastness of the universe, multiple galaxies around us, and think about how small you are. Know that you are also connected to this vast universe, and your purpose is more likely to emerge. Looking into the sky at night can help with this, as well as thinking about all the people and events that came before you and all that is to come after. Purpose seems to easily flow within those who take time to focus on the bigger picture.

The stoics used the word sympatheia for this state of mind, which means “a connectedness with the cosmos.” This connection makes you ask yourself: Who am I? What am I doing and why? The book elaborates on how material success can take you away from this perspective. Don’t let your ego convince you the world revolves around you. Intentionally seek out the cosmos and your purpose will be revealed to you over time, which is also a part of the stoic view : “Purpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself.”

Find and follow your purpose, and then do the work. The book explains that you should make it so you don’t have to fake it: “Can you imagine a doctor trying to get by with anything less? Or a quarterback? So why would you try otherwise?”

Be a lifelong student even after— especially after, your major accomplishments. Eliminate what isn’t necessary. Stay open-minded. Set goals and live on purpose.

   3. Talk & think less; do more

When you begin to live with purpose instead of passion your ego will begin to lessen, and you will gain the quiet confidence the philosopher Seneca referred to as Euthymia : having a sense of your own path and not getting distracted by externals. As you talk less and act more you will begin to gain this tranquility when working, helping you maintain your purposeful work:

“You know that all things require work and that work might be quite difficult. But do you really understand? Do you have any idea just how much work there is going to be? Not work until you get your big break, not work until you make a name for yourself, but work, work, work, forever and ever.”

Talking is easy, everyone does it, but silence is rare in today’s world. Your ego tells you that you need recognition from others, but real confidence doesn’t need to talk, it produces work . Talking destroys action. Sit quietly and work. Let go of the distractions of social media and of the news, and focus on your work. Watch how much better you get:

“They work quietly in the corner. They turn their inner turmoil into product—and eventually into stillness. They ignore the impulse to seek recognition before they act. They don’t talk too much. And they don’t mind the feeling that others, out there in public are enjoying the limelight, are somewhat getting the better end of the deal (They are not).”

Talking and thinking too much drain the energy you could be using to put into your work. At times we definitely need to be thinking, such as when envisioning goals, but if you spend too much time thinking and talking about what you are going to do, you are less likely to actually do it. Where are the results? Stay focused on execution. Think when you need to and then get to work. People who live with purpose understand they aren’t working to retire and live on their couch. They are working for something beyond themselves, and this guides them confidently throughout their lives:

“When facing a new task, do you seek to talk about it or do you face the struggle head on?”

Thinking too much can also lead you into living with a psychological term marked as “imaginary audience,” which is explained in the book. Many adolescents go through this and many adults hold on to it. It’s the idea that people are watching and thinking about you when they are not. It’s the teenager who misses a week of class because they are so embarrassed of spilling juice on their pants and think that everyone in the school is talking about it. They are not. This is the imaginary audience. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do, which is a relief. Most people are so consumed in their own lives, so take time to rationalize your thoughts and get back to work. The ego loves the imaginary audience and thrives on it, so remember the bigger picture, let go of your wandering thoughts and bring yourself into the present moment:

“Living clearly and present takes courage. Don’t live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if—especially if—it’s uncomfortable. Be part of what’s going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it.”

In short, the book says we must manage our ego or see it get the best of us. Think of coach Bill Walsh who focused on perfecting the basics, taking the worst team in the NFL to winning the Super Bowl. Be an eternal student, like Metallica’s Kirk Hammett, absorbing everything around you like a sponge, knowing that there is always more to learn. As well as living with purpose and remaining a student, focus on doing the work instead of seeking recognition, letting your confidence show with results.

Practicing stoicism can escalate your implementation of the lessons within each theme. Now go out and accomplish the life changing work you are meant to do.

10 Best Quotes from Ego Is The Enemy

“Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room—until you change that with results.”

“You can lie to yourself, saying that you put in the time, or pretend that you’re working, but  eventually someone will show up. You’ll be tested. And quite possibly, found out.”

“In this course, it is not ‘Who do I want to be in life’ But ‘What is it that I want to accomplish in life?’ Setting aside selfish interest, it asks: What calling does it serve? What principles govern my choices? Do I want to be like everyone else or do I want to do something different?”

“And what is most obvious but most ignored is that perfecting the personal regularly leads to success as a professional, but rarely the other way around.”

“Most trouble is temporary…unless you make that not so.”

“Work is finding yourself alone at the track when the weather kept everyone else indoors. It’s pushing through the pain and crappy first drafts and prototypes. It is ignoring whatever plaudits others are getting, and more importantly, ignoring whatever plaudits you may be getting. Because there is work to be done. Work doesn’t want to be good. It is made so, despite the headwind.”

“Most successful people are people you’ve never heard of. They want it that way. It keeps them sober. It helps them do their jobs.”

“Remind yourself how pointless it is to rage and fight and try to one-up those around you. Go and put yourself in touch with the infinite, and end your conscious separation from the world. Reconcile yourself a bit better with the realities of life. Realize how much came before you, and how only wisps of it remain.”

“What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, but humility, diligence, and self-awareness.”

“Your ego screams for people to acknowledge you. But you must do nothing. Take it. Eat it until you’re sick. Endure it. Quietly brush it off and work harder. Play the game. Ignore the noise; for the love of God, do not let it distract you.”

Where To Buy Ego Is The Enemy

You can pick up Ego Is The Enemy on Amazon or in any bookstore. If you’d prefer to listen to the book, here is the audio version .

Ego Is The Enemy Medallion From Daily Stoic

Carry this medallion with you for a daily reminder on the lessons of the ego:

Ego Is The Enemy Testimonials

“Ryan Holiday is one of his generation’s finest thinkers, and this book is his best yet.”— Steven Pressfield, author of the  New York Times bestseller The War of Art

“This is a book I want every athlete, aspiring leader, entrepreneur, thinker and doer to read. Ryan Holiday is one of the most promising young writers of his generation.” — George Raveling , Hall of Fame Basketball coach, Nike’s Director of International Basketball

“I don’t have many rules in life, but one I never break is: If Ryan Holiday writes a book, I read it as soon as I can get my hands on it.” — Brian Koppelman , screenwriter and director, Rounders, Ocean’s Thirteen and Billions

“In his new book Ryan Holiday attacks the greatest obstacle to mastery and true success in life—our insatiable ego. In an inspiring yet practical way, he teaches us how to manage and tame this beast within us so that we can focus on what really matters—producing the best work possible.”— Robert Greene, author of  The 48 Laws of Power and Mastery  

“I would like to rip out every page and use them as wallpaper so I could be reminded constantly of the humility and work it takes to truly succeed. In the margins of my copy, I have scrawled the same message over and over—’pre-Gold.’ Reading this inspiring book brought back me back to the humility and work ethic it took to win the Olympics.” — Chandra Crawford, Olympic Gold Medalist

“What a valuable book for those in positions of authority! It has made me a better judge.”— The Honorable Frederic Block, United States District Judge and author of Disrobed

“Removing the ego is a daily struggle but it feels a little easier after reading this.”— Martellus Bennett, NFL Tight End, Super Bowl Champion

Ego Is The Enemy Talks By Ryan Holiday

You can watch Ryan talk about Ego Is The Enemy at Google

Ryan gives a talk at LinkedIn on his book

Ryan discusses Ego Is The Enemy with Gerard Adams in the episode: Leaders Create Leaders

Ego Is The Enemy Animation

Key Lessons and Takeaways From ‘Ego Is The Enemy’ by Ryan Holiday

• 2021-12-24 09:39:22
• 20 minute(s)

The book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday is filled with cautionary tales of those who let their egos run amok and were eventually undone by the resulting damage, as well as stories of those who practiced restraint and sobriety, and found success in their endeavors. In this WSJ bestseller book, Ryan Holiday gives advice on how people can combat their ego to achieve more in life. Here are keys lessons and takeaways from Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday.

When you remove ego, you’re left with humility and confidence.

To do that, you must practice seeing yourself with a little distance, cultivating the ability to get out of your own head, and learning how to see beneath an appearance. When you’re just starting out, attach yourself to successful people and organizations and subsume your identity into theirs and move both forward simultaneously. When you’re successful, you must stay humble, keep learning, and focus on your work and practice. When you fail, embrace it with appreciation and move on to start over again.

All of us, at every stage of life, are the victims of our own ego.

Our ego leads us to strive too far, expect too much, assume that we’re deserving — all before we’ve even done the work. If we achieve success our ego makes us do things that lead us to failure, if we fail our ego crushes our attempts to get up and try again. The aim of ‘Ego is The Enemy’ is simple: to help you suppress ego early before bad habits take hold, to replace the temptations of ego with humility and discipline, when we experience success, and cultivate strength when you go through failure.

Yes. Your ego is holding you back from realizing your full potential in life.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, your worst enemy already lives insides you: your ego. Precisely what makes us so promising as thinkers, doers, creative people, and entrepreneurs, what drives us to the top of those fields, makes us vulnerable to this darker side of the psyche. If ego is the voice that tells us we’re better than we really are, we can say ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection to the world around us.

Putting reigns on your ego helps you in both good and bad times, because you’ll neither stress about failures, nor let success turn you into a diva.

Whether you are just setting out, sitting at the pinnacle of success, or reeling from a precipitous fall, you must subdue your ego if you wish to capitalize on your opportunities and gifts. In this ‘Ego is the Enemy’ book review, I’ll outline insights by Ryan Holiday on how we can master our ego to achieve what truly matters to us. Let’s find out!

Lesson #1: Live with Purpose Not Passion

Lesson #2: always be a student, lesson #3: talk less; do more, lesson #4: exploit your downtime, lesson #5: always love.

If your purpose is something larger than you — to accomplish something, to prove something to yourself — then suddenly everything becomes both easier and more difficult. Easier in the sense that you know now what it is you need to do and what is important to you. Harder because each opportunity — no matter how gratifying or rewarding—must be evaluated along strict guidelines.

It is not “Who do I want to be in life?” but “What is it that I want to accomplish in life?”

You can’t learn if you think you already know. Ego gives us wicked feedback, disconnected from reality. It blocks us from improving by telling us that we don’t need to improve. What we need is purpose — passion with boundaries. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself. Your passion may be the very thing holding you back from power or influence or accomplishment. Because just as often, we fail because of passion. Passion typically masks a weakness. Its breathlessness and impetuousness and franticness are poor substitutes for discipline, for mastery, for strength and purpose and perseverance. You need to be able to spot this in others and in yourself, because while the origins of passion may be earnest and good, its effects are comical and then monstrous.

Ryan Holiday argues that we must challenge the idea of passion and instead focus on purpose. Purpose removes the ego from our aspirations, as it focuses on something bigger than ourselves.

Ryan Holiday uses the example of John Wood, basketball coach for the all-time leading scorer in NBA history: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar described his highly successful coach as actively dispassionate. This characteristic is opposed to the frequently revered stereotype of coaches being overly passionate individuals. Instead, John Wood argued that passion and emotions get in the way of the job at hand. We must simply do our job to the best of our ability and not be a slave to passion. Passion distracts us from all the work that needs to be done to acquire the successes associated with passionate, inspirational ideas or speeches.

Ryan Holiday has said

Leave passion for the amateurs. Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be. — Ryan Holiday Share on X

A lot of people don’t put a lot of sense in their actions.

They’re living on autopilot and they are used to doing things only because they are commonly accepted by society. They buy new gadgets to show off in front of their friends and boost their ego. They will watch a TV show just because someone else mentioned it in a conversation. If your answer to: “ Why do you do what you do ,” is “ to keep up with the Joneses ,” then stop what you’re doing. Learn to say No to things more often. Opt-out from the stupid race for more that doesn’t matter. Don’t read, watch, do, or buy stuff only because other people are buying them. Do them only if you really want or need them.

Find out why you’re doing the things you’re doing daily. Ignore everyone and everything that is messing with your pace.

Most people aren’t living on purpose. They wander around life distracted, looking for the next form of gratification, wondering why they aren’t happy and why they don’t get what they want. They drive to a job they hate to pay for a car that brings them to that job, which also pays for a house they abandon during the day to go to that job. The ego loves the comfort a “ secure ” job has, but purpose, as well as the best things, happen outside of your comfort zone. On the other hand, many harmonious and effective people have found that answering the following questions helped them live with purpose: Why do I do what I do? Who am I? What purpose am I serving?

📚 Additional reading

• Simon Sinek – Leadership Lessons In The Spotlight
• Four Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Calling
• Are You Listening to Your Life? (Oprah.com)

The greatest leaders and wisest thinkers have all been students of life. They possessed a unique curiosity about life and had the discipline to constantly be learning. Many people get overly confident in one area and forget that they know so little about everything else. The ego tries to build an identification with success, withholding you from learning more, but learning is a requirement, especially in the beginning. When you are just starting out you need to remember: You aren’t as good as you think you are, you probably need your attitude readjusted, and the things you learned in books or school are out of date or wrong.

To become the best you can be, and to maintain that greatness you need to have a student mindset.

You need to always be learning. Everything in life has something to teach you, but ego gets in the way of opportunities you have had or will have. The ego tells you that you shouldn’t do an internship because you are overqualified for it. The ego doesn’t want to do the grunt work because it thinks it’s too good for that. People living with purpose look past this, and they focus on what is important, believing in what they need to do. Appreciate the opportunity. Take the internship. Put in the time and effort, and learn.

No matter what you’ve done up to this point, you better still be a student. If you’re not still learning, you’re already dying.

It is not enough only to be a student at the beginning. It is a position that one has to assume for life. An amateur is defensive. The professional finds learning to be enjoyable. They like being challenged and humbled, and engage in education as an ongoing and endless process. Crafting stories out of past events is dangerous and untrue. Writing our own narrative leads to arrogance. These narratives don’t change the past, but they do have the power to negatively impact our future. Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution — and on executing with excellence.

Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room—until you change that with results. — Ryan Holiday Share on X

The higher we rise, the more we see and realize how much we don’t know.

Yet, ego pushes us to pretend to know, or to confine ourselves to a niche where we won’t be challenged. Genghis Khan was one of the greatest conquerors and military minds in history because he was a lifelong student. With each culture he conquered, he broadened his knowledge of warfare and learned ideas and technologies from smart people like astrologers, doctors, and scribes. Learn from everyone and everything. Read up on a totally new subject, learn from both your friends and foes, and sharpen how you learn. No matter how much you’ve achieved, stay anchored in your purpose, values and principles, and remain humble and disciplined.

A student must be able to take harsh and critical feedback to learn where they can improve.

The ego, however, avoids such feedback at all costs. This stops us from improving by convincing us that we don’t need to improve. Then, when we don’t get the results we were expecting, we wonder what happened. Today, books are available in stores and online. Ivy league college courses can be found online. Smartphones give us 24/7 access to the internet. There is more information than ever before. One must remain a student throughout their lives to achieve true success. Through this process of always seeking out opportunities to be a student, you are challenging the idea you are all-knowing in any domain. This will help you learn more and ground yourself in your current understanding and the actions required to reach the next goal.

• How To Learn With The 70:20:10 model In a Nutshell
• 4 Reasons You Should Never Stop Learning (Inc.com)
• Why Successful People Always Stay A Student

When you begin to live with purpose instead of passion your ego will begin to lessen, and you will gain the quiet confidence the philosopher Seneca referred to as Euthymia: having a sense of your own path and not getting distracted by externals. As you talk less and act more you will begin to gain this tranquility when working, helping you maintain your purposeful work.

Big talk is no substitute for action and only hinders results. You can’t chatter and think deeply at the same time.

Talking exhausts valuable time and energy which could’ve been better spent on brainstorming, planning, learning, or problem-solving. People also use talk to escape from the difficult tasks at hand — they spend so much time talking about something that they think they’ve done the work or put in their best effort when they haven’t done anything of value. Social media only encourages us to “ talk ” more. It’s easier to post and tweet about how well we’re doing rather than actually do the work. We end up looking great but not getting any real results.

Ryan Holiday recommends you stop talking and start doing. You need to stop telling people that you are going to do something good.

Those who are successful throughout history are those who delay gratification. These individuals receive gratification when they have done something right. Before starting a task, you should always ask yourself: Am I doing this to be somebody or do something? If you are only doing something to be somebody, then you are merely feeding your ego. You are behaving in a way that will provide you with affirmation. The alternative is to want to do something for the action itself. More often than not, this type of action will be making a difference in the world.

The only relationship between work and chatter/talk is that one kills the other. — Ryan Holiday Share on X

It’s easier to talk about things than to actually do them. Talking depletes us.

Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, but after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it will actual progress. The same goes for verbalization — talking aloud to ourselves or others while we work through difficult problems has been shown to significantly decrease insight and breakthroughs. After spending so much time thinking / explaining / talking about a task, we start to feel that we’ve gotten closer to achieving it. Or worse, when things get tough, we feel we can toss the whole project aside because we’ve given it our best try, although of course we haven’t.

The achievers are the ones working quietly in the corner.

They ignore the impulse to seek recognition before they act. They don’t talk much. They’re too busy working to do anything else – and when they do talk, they’ve earned it. Let others slap each other on the back while you’re at the lab or in the gym or pounding the keyboard. Talking and thinking too much drain the energy you could be using to put into your work. At times we definitely need to be thinking, such as when envisioning goals, but if you spend too much time thinking and talking about what you are going to do, you are less likely to actually do it. Where are the results? Stay focused on execution. Think when you need to and then get to work.

• How Great Leaders Take Action To Stand Out From The Crowd
• The Key to Success is Massive Action
• How to Change Your Mindset to Take Massive Action for Success

At any given time in the circle of life, we may be aspiring, succeeding, or failing—though right now we’re failing. With wisdom, we understand that these positions are transitory, not statements about your value as a human being. When success begins to slip from your fingers for whatever reason, the response isn’t to grip and claw so hard that you shatter it to pieces. It’s to understand that you must work yourself back to the aspirational phase. You must get back to first principles and best practices.

Failure always arrives uninvited, but through our ego, far too many of us allow it to stick around.

What matters is that we can respond to what life throws at us. And how we make it through. The less attached we are to outcomes the better. When fulfilling our own standards is what fills us with pride and self-respect. When the effort — not the results, good or bad — is enough. Do your work. Do it well. Then “ let go and let God .” Recognition and rewards — those are extra. The world is to what we want . If we persist in wanting, we are simply setting ourselves up for resentment or worse. Doing the work is enough. Hitting bottom is as brutal as it sounds. But the feeling after — it is one of the most powerful perspectives in the world.

Failure can disrupt our lives and bring things to a standstill. You can use your downtime to wallow in self-pity or to improve yourself.

After landing in prison at 21 years old, Malcolm X decided to use this time to self-study. His time in prison ended up paving the foundation for his future success. When Ian Fleming was put on bed rest, doctors forbade him to even use a typewriter. So, Fleming started writing with a pen and produced his well-loved fantasy Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang. When you’re hit with failure, don’t dwell on the problems, hide from them, or plot revenge. Reflect on how your choices have led to where you are, and use what you have to turn things around.

Doing great work is a struggle. It’s draining, it’s demoralizing, it’s firefighting – not always, but it can feel that way when we’re deep in the middle of it. — Ryan Holiday Share on X

During failure, you must choose ‘ alive time ’ by dedicating every second to improving your skills and using your surroundings to create a better situation.

Ego prevents you from overcoming difficulty because it focuses on the negative side of difficulties. It also discourages you and provides sensible excuses that prevent you from overcoming difficulty. The ego prefers to brush off failure as a one-off, or as something which was just not our cup of tea. As a result, we hit a phase called dead time  as we don’t seem to move any forward from there. We can only move forward if we analyze what got us there, what we can learn from it, and what we can do to get out of it. In short, we must convert moments of ruin into alive time. That’s what JK Rowling did and the rest is history.

Nobody is successful forever. There are two constants in life: change and transformation. 

You can let your ego get the better of you and allow failure to break you. Or, you can utilize failure as a learning opportunity and a springboard towards obtaining tremendous success in the future. Ryan Holiday breaks failure down into alive time and dead time. Dead time is characterized by feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others and the surrounding environment. During dead time, some even claim that they are hopeless. This period is characterized by passivity. Alternatively, alive time involves utilizing this period of failure to learn something, grow further, and become a better person. It is characterized by action and learning.

• The Ultimate Ways Resilient Leaders Bounce Back From Failure
• 7 Important Lessons You Can Learn From Failure (LifeHack)
• Resilience: Vulnerability, Failures, Mindset, & Bouncing Back

On the path to success, one will encounter individuals who may deceive, offend, or hurt you. This causes us to become angry and seek retribution. However, this is short-term thinking from the ego. It is easy to hate. It is our ego attempting to seek payback. However, this is a distraction. If we’re busy getting revenge, we aren’t focusing on our course and our work. Hate doesn’t get us to our goal, and can even set us back.

Instead, one must always love. Love is egoless.

It is positive, peaceful and productive. Hate focuses on the past while love focuses on the present and most importantly, the future. Stay positive, stay focused and always show love. When you’re surrounded by love, it’s impossible to be conquered by the crippling disease that is hate. Love restarts the heart like a defibrillator. Hate causes a heart attack that can kill you if you let it. Always choose love over hate.

Feelings of hate can cause us to go into a downward spiral.

This spiral involves us becoming very selfish and only focusing on our own needs. From this place, we can’t do the inner work required to come back from adversity. Train your brain to always assume love as the default reason for everything. Hate will transport us to a land far far away that resembles hell. Hell is where your nightmares come true, your fears are born and the person you become is something you despise for eternity.

In adversity, it’s so easy to hate. Hate defers blame. It makes someone else responsible. It’s a distraction too; we don’t do much else when we’re busy investigating the wrongs that have supposedly been done to us. — Ryan Holiday Share on X

To choose love over hate often means taking the harder path. It means stepping back and thinking deeper, oftentimes it means learning more.

Martin Luther King understood that hate is like an “ eroding acid that eats away the best and the objective center of your life .” Hatred is when ego turns a minor insult into a massive sore and it lashes out. But pause and ask: has hatred and lashing out ever helped anyone with anything? Don’t let it eat at you  —  choose love. Yes, love. See how much better you feel. Learning to be grateful and kind toward others is also good for the soul. Instead of practicing active wishing of ill will, we should practice active wishing of good will. We should even do this for our enemies. We all end up dead anyway. Don’t leave room for hate or resentment in your soul.

With all of the negativity that is going on in the world right now, we need love more than ever.

I believe that it is easier to love than it is to hate. We are born with love in our hearts. Hate is learned and it takes an effort to hate. Every day we have a choice to attend to and nurture attitudes and activities that support either love or hatred. It is important to remember that love is not simply a feeling we experience, it is an attitude we nourish and an activity we engage in. If we want it to illuminate our lives with love, we need to be willing to let go of the anger, resentments and hatred that block its healing light.

• The Fastest Ways Leaders Kill Your Company Culture
• 6 Ugly Truths No One Tells You About Success (Inc.com)
• You Are Not a Failure Until You Start Blaming Others for Your Mistakes (Success.com)

Wrapping Up

Put simply , ‘Ego is The Enemy’ says we must manage our ego or see it get the best of us. Think of coach Bill Walsh who focused on perfecting the basics, taking the worst team in the NFL to winning the Super Bowl. Be an eternal student, like Metallica’s Kirk Hammett, absorbing everything around you like a sponge, knowing that there is always more to learn. As well as living with purpose and remaining a student, focus on doing the work instead of seeking recognition, letting your confidence show with results.

Your ego is your worst enemy. If you don’t do something about the march of your self-love, you’ll suffer.

Arrogance and self-centered ambition are rarely good qualities. The opposite attributes, however, are — modesty and being respectful to others. But the need to be better than other people. More than others is a drive for many people. That’s exactly what the book is all about. Ryan Holiday is explaining why your constant desire to be recognized and appreciated is devilish. Hopefully, these five lessons help you defeat your ego and reach new levels of success.

Your potential — the absolute best you’re capable of — that’s what you should be measuring yourself against, not the performance of those around you

People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best version of themselves. Ego Is The Enemy. And there is only one way to stay ahead. To remain modest and vigilant. That’s how you’ll undoubtedly win.

Now go out and accomplish the life changing work you are meant to do.

I’m glad you reached the end. You have kicked off the journey to become aware of the beast inside of you.  Ultimately, curbing your ego is the transformation you need to succeed in every stage of life. There are many great lessons from Ego is the Enemy, you must read the book to know them all. Anyway, thanks for reading. Comment below and let others know what you have learned or if you have any other thoughts.

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Book review - Ego is the enemy

Book Review: Ego Is The Enemy By Ryan Holiday

I know that self-help books are not everybody’s cup of tea, but trust me, this one needs to be on your To Be Read List. It is composed of 159 pages of lessons and epiphanies of the changes that you need to be making in your life.

Ryan Holiday, author of Ego is the enemy, starts off by explaining that the book will not be about him, seeing as this will be a mere contradiction to the title. He explains how his life experiences made him arrive at the conclusion that Ego is indeed, the enemy.

Truth be told, our egos hold us back from doing a lot of things, in our careers, our social relationships, our families, and even just for our own wellbeing. Our egos make us think that we are better than others or that we don’t deserve to go through some things in life. They hinder us from being the best versions of ourselves.

For this and other reasons, Ryan Holiday, author of Ego is the enemy, wrote the book not only to help his target audience but also to help himself. This book will help you to scrutinise yourself and your behaviours and how they may be hindering you from reaching your fullest potential.

It will help you to question the motives for your actions and the reasons why you long for success so much. As Ryan Holiday asks in one of the chapters, “To be or to do? Which side will you choose?” In the book, you will realize that a lot of us have a skewed perception of what success really is.

My favourite chapter in Ego is the enemy is in Part 3 on Failure, titled Always Love. The book questions the motive behind many of our actions. When we are tempted to be bitter and to do things out of ‘hurt,’ what do we choose? Attempting to destroy something out of hate or ego often ensures that it will be preserved and disseminated forever . Meanwhile, love is right there. Egoless, open, positive, vulnerable, peaceful, and productive.

Another interesting chapter is that which speaks about The management of me. If you achieve success, and especially at an early stage in life, then you are likely to start believing that you are special or that the world owes you some sort of special treatment. ‘The management of me’ helps you to humble yourself through all these achievements, realizing that at any point in time there will be someone better than you.

Through the three chapters of the book, your eyes will be opened to the fact that at any stage you encounter, humility is likely to build your character far more than your ego ever would. To whatever you aspire, ego is the enemy. To whatever success you have achieved, ego is the enemy. To whatever challenges and failure you will achieve, ego is the enemy.

You can get the book on Amazon .

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Ego is the Enemy

Ryan Holiday | 4.38 | 32,369 ratings and reviews

Ranked #8 in Stoicism , Ranked #27 in Human Physiology — see more rankings .

Reviews and Recommendations

We've comprehensively compiled reviews of Ego is the Enemy from the world's leading experts.

Robert Greene Author Inspiring yet practical... teaches us how to manage and tame this beast within us so that we can focus on what really matters - producing the best work possible. (Source)

Charlamagne Tha God Radio Presenter/The Breakfast Club This is one of my favorite authors on the planet @ryanholiday one of his many books is titled “Ego Is The Enemy.” So if you want more from him on the subject of ego than what’s in this 60 second clip that’s the book… https://t.co/0QDe9V69KV (Source)

Marvin Liao Partner/500 Startups My list would be (besides the ones I mentioned in answer to the previous question) both business & Fiction/Sci-Fi and ones I personally found helpful to myself. The business books explain just exactly how business, work & investing are in reality & how to think properly & differentiate yourself. On the non-business side, a mix of History & classic fiction to understand people, philosophy to make sense of life and Science fiction to picture what the future could be like (not always utopian). (Source)

Jason Fried Co-Founder/Basecamp Recommends this book

Marius Ciuchete Paun The lessons in this book are ageless and universally applicable to everyone. The lesson it teaches us is that the ego is part of us and we have to manage it. Life is full of ups and downs and our ego is always sitting in the dark, waiting to strike us down. (Source)

Adam Grant Highlights how we can earn confidence by pursuing something bigger than our own success. (Source)

Aubrey Marcus Recommends this book

Austin Kleon The Comedian BIll Hicks said the world was tainted with fevered egos. In Ego Is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday writes us all a prescription: humility. This book is packed with stories and quotes that will help you get out of your own way. Whether you're starting out or starting over, you'll find something to steal here. (Source)

George Raveling This is a book I want every athlete, aspiring leader, entrepreneur, thinker, and doer to read. Ryan Holiday is one of the most promising young writers of his generation. (Source)

Marc Ecko I see the toxic vanity of ego at play every day and it never ceases to amaze me how often it wrecks promising creative endeavors. Read this book before it wrecks you or the projects and people you love. Consider it as urgently as you do a proper workout regimen and eating right. Ryan's insights are priceless. (Source)

Brian Koppelman I don't have many rules in my life, but one I never break is: if Ryan Holiday writes a book, I read it as soon as I can get my hands on it. (Source)

David Cancel Recommends this book

Sam Hurley Recommends this book

Steven Pressfield Ryan Holiday is one of his generation's finest thinkers, and this book is his best yet. (Source)

Derek Sivers It's rare that I finish a book then immediately reread it, this time with a yellow marker in hand…I can't recommend this book highly enough. (Source)

Pedro Cortés To get a good a fulfilling career I believe you need to balance money with your mindset and personal life and for those, I would again recommend the 4hww (to question the 9-5 life), F.U Money (to turn your beliefs about money into good ones), Ego is the enemy (to keep the ego in check), So good they can't ignore you (to adopt the mindset of a craftsman and mastery instead of passion) and Predictably Irrational to be aware of the irrational things you and other people can do so you can adapt to them instead of living your entire life being blinded by them. (Source)

Cristian-Dragos Baciu Oh, and let's not forget, Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday. (Source)

Rankings by Category

Ego is the Enemy is ranked in the following categories:

• #68 in Business Motivation
• #93 in Coaching
• #78 in Humanity
• #77 in Lifestyle
• #48 in Mind
• #33 in Mindset
• #36 in Personal Branding
• #57 in Personal Development
• #54 in Personal Growth
• #44 in Personality
• #30 in Philosophy History
• #89 in Productivity
• #48 in Resilience
• #55 in Self Development
• #44 in Self-Awareness
• #77 in Self-Help
• #68 in Self-Improvement
• #83 in Smart
• #87 in Success
• #76 in Thinking
• #61 in Wellness
• #78 in Wisdom

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Book Review: Ego is the enemy by Ryan Holiday

#CuriousTitans Book Review: Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

In the last few months, my reading pace was slow. And it was difficult to revert to my original pace and read consistently. Thoughts like – ‘why I am not reading enough?’ ‘what happened to me?’, and ‘how will I continue my reading journey?’ – were uppermost in my mind.

The self-talk was all about me and myself. And this is what Ego does! It becomes so inflated and self-interrogating at times that we are consumed in ourselves and feel incapable of thinking beyond it.

“The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote,” said Ryan Holiday in his book, Ego is the Enemy.

I had picked up the book only to overcome the feeling of being stuck. As I started reading, I felt as if Ryan is talking directly to me through the anecdotes and examples. The book gave me a chance to reflect on myself and my ego getting in the way of my progress.

For anything we want to achieve, Ego is the first enemy we need to win over. As Richard Feynman famously said ‘The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool’.  Perhaps we feel that we cannot be an egomaniac and are pretty balanced in life. “But for people with ambitions, talents, drivers, and potential to fulfill, ego comes within the territory”, says Ryan.

Ryan uses stories and lessons from ancient philosophy to help us carve our way. This book will help with practical ways to thrive in life despite all the hurdles. Just like the book helped me to pick up my reading pace, slowly but steadily, without being judgemental of the outcome but for the joy of reading itself.

A gem for your reading list.

Quotes from the Book, ‘Ego is the Enemy’ by Ryan Holiday

“It’s time to sit down and think about what’s truly important to you and then take steps to forsake the rest. Without this, success will not be pleasurable, or nearly as complete as it could be. Or worse, it won’t last. This is especially true with money. If you don’t know how much you need, the default easily becomes more. And so without thinking, critical energy is diverted from a person’s calling and toward filling a bank account.” – p118, chapter: Whats imporatnt to you?

“We have to actively seek out this cosmic sympathy. There’s the famous Blake poem that opens with “To see a World in a Grain of Sand / And a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand / And Eternity in an hour.” That’s what we’re after here. That’s the transcendental experience that makes our petty ego impossible. Feel unprotected against the elements or forces or surroundings. Remind yourself how pointless it is to rage and fight and try to one-up those around you.” – p142, chapter: Mediate on the immensity

“We know that everyone experiences failure and adversity, and that we’re all subject to the rules of gravity and averages. What does that mean? It means we’ll face them too. As Plutarch finely expressed, “The future bears down upon each one of us with all the hazards of the unknown The only way out is through.”, p168, chapter: Failure

“My friend the philosopher and martial artist Daniele Bolelli once gave me a helpful metaphor. He explained that training was like sweeping the floor. Just because we’ve done it once, doesn’t mean the floor is clean forever. Every day the dust comes back. Every day we must sweep.” p212, chapter: Epilogue

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Nilesh Ukey

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